Order of Man - April 28, 2017


FFN 053： Fix Yourself First

Topics
diet
Hosted by
Ryan Michler
Mentioned
Jocko Willink Andy Frisilla Grant Cardone Lewis Howes Putin John
110： Your Wealth Can't Wait ｜ David Osborn 111： Upgrading Your Career ｜ Kevin Kermes

Episode Stats


Length

10 minutes

Words per minute

192.31

Word count

2,015

Sentence count

155

Harmful content

Misogyny

2

sentences flagged

Toxicity

7

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, Ryan Michler talks about the importance of fixing yourself first, and why you should stop trying to fix other people and focus on fixing yourself. He also talks about how important it is to take care of yourself first.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Topics generated with Qwen2.5-3B-Instruct.
Hosts, guests, and mentioned names generated with spaCy (en_core_web_sm), reconciled against Wikidata.
00:00:00.000 You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest. Embrace your fears and boldly chart
00:00:05.000 your own path. When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time. Every time.
00:00:10.440 You are not easily deterred or defeated. Rugged. Resilient. Strong. This is your life. This is who
00:00:17.240 you are. This is who you will become. At the end of the day, and after all is said and done,
00:00:22.800 you can call yourself a man. Gentlemen, what is going on? My name is Ryan
00:00:27.600 Michler, and I am the host and the founder of this podcast, The Order of Man. If you have been
00:00:32.160 listening to us for any amount of time, you can agree with me that this is probably just the best
00:00:36.920 podcast available today. We can just admit that. I know that I'm a bit biased, but guys, based on our
00:00:42.780 growth over the past several months, it seems to me that we are doing something right. If you're new
00:00:47.900 to the show today, I do want to welcome you to The Order. Here in the next couple of minutes,
00:00:52.560 you're going to hear me ramble about some thoughts I've been having this week, but before I do that,
00:00:56.660 I want you to know that we also have an interview show where I interview and ask powerful questions
00:01:01.980 from the most successful men on the planet. Guys like Jocko Willink, Andy Frisilla, Grant Cardone,
00:01:08.640 Lewis Howes, so many more. Anybody basically who I think has a message that's going to help
00:01:13.480 benefit me and you and the rest of the men listening to this right now. If you are listening to this,
00:01:19.500 the day it's being released, I am currently knee deep in our second live experience called The
00:01:25.100 Uprising. The goal of that experience is to take 30 men from all over the place, teach them the tools
00:01:29.940 and the skills and the mindsets, the strategies to take their lives to the next level. These events
00:01:35.040 that we've been doing have been amazing for me. They've been amazing for all that have experienced
00:01:39.460 them and I'm sure we're going to produce similar results for the men in attendance this weekend.
00:01:44.520 All right, guys, with all of that said and done, let's get into the conversation of today,
00:01:48.560 which is about fixing yourself first. It seems that everywhere you look, you're going to find
00:01:53.700 someone out there who is willing to tell you how to live your life. In fact, if you look at it hard
00:01:59.280 enough, you'll probably recognize that we're actually doing that here right now inside of
00:02:03.420 the order of men. In fact, in many ways, I don't feel completely qualified to tell you how to live
00:02:08.980 your life. Although I have managed to figure a few things out along the way about being a man,
00:02:13.360 but I can tell you it hasn't been easy and it hasn't been a smooth course. Nine years ago,
00:02:18.860 a lot of you know this. I almost lost my marriage. I used to weigh 50 pounds more than I do today.
00:02:24.780 50 pounds. That's incredible to me. I've had failed businesses and I've struggled just as much,
00:02:29.500 if not more than the next men. But what I find fascinating is that not only is everyone out
00:02:35.640 there attempting to dictate your life, probably because they're working to sell you their wares
00:02:40.600 and their gadgets and their gizmos and whatever, but I have to question how often we, that we as men
00:02:47.340 and leaders in our families and our businesses, our communities attempt to fix other people.
00:02:54.220 How often do you do that? How often do I do that? It's almost as if we have a natural tendency to
00:02:59.740 assume that if we're running across financial problems or marital problems, health problems,
00:03:05.200 challenges with our kids or our bosses, that it could in no way, no way have anything to do with
00:03:12.160 the way we're showing up in this world. I need to put this disclaimer out here first because I know,
00:03:17.520 I know someone's going to say, but Ryan, it isn't my fault. It's my boss or my coworker or my kids
00:03:22.900 or my teacher or my parents or my spouse or the president or society or Putin or whoever else
00:03:29.840 we may assign the blame to for the day. Look, I hear you. It might be somebody else's fault.
00:03:36.220 At least they may have a part to play in the fiasco that you're dealing with right now,
00:03:41.740 but here's the bottom line. There is nothing you can do about another human being and their thoughts
00:03:46.760 or their behaviors. So why not raise your hand and even look the man in the mirror and tell yourself
00:03:52.580 the truth, which is that you aren't as good as you think you are. I've seen studies that have shown
00:03:59.500 that we as human beings are roughly 25% as effective as we think we are. So knowing that we're not making
00:04:07.680 as much money as we should, we're not communicating with other people in an effective way. We're not
00:04:12.580 doing the project that we're assigned as efficient as possible. And we actually bring a lot of our own
00:04:17.960 baggage to the table and we recognize it as somebody else's. But I'll tell you what, as difficult as the
00:04:23.540 reality is to face, the one that says you're not as good as you think you are, I can tell you from
00:04:29.220 experience that taking this type of approach and this attitude puts you in such a better position
00:04:35.500 than the guy who points his fingers at other people. You truly want to change your life. You truly want
00:04:42.520 to connect with your wife. You truly want your kids to listen to you. You truly want your boss to stop
00:04:48.340 being such a jerk. Here's how you do it. Stop focusing on them. That's right. Stop focusing on them. 1.00
00:04:57.300 Even if they are screwing things up. Instead, focus on you. Focus on who you are. Focus on who you're not.
00:05:05.280 Focus on what needs to be done in order to see the results that you're after. Because, and this escapes most
00:05:12.640 people, the best way to change other people is to change yourself. Then watch them respond to who you have
00:05:22.540 become. It's called influence. It's critical. It is critical that every man work to develop more of it.
00:05:29.960 You want your wife to love you more? Be more lovable. You want your kids to listen better? Share something
00:05:35.820 with them worth actually listening to. You want your boss to stop passing you up for promotions? Make
00:05:41.140 yourself the clear and obvious choice. You want your coworkers to hear and implement your ideas? Share
00:05:45.860 better ideas? Want to connect with more influencers in your space? Be worth connecting with. This isn't
00:05:52.860 rocket science, guys. It's taking ownership of who you are, where you are in your life right now,
00:05:58.900 and then making yourself completely indispensable. And I want to get real with you here for a minute.
00:06:05.220 Your boss, he doesn't care. He does not care who he promotes. So long as the one he does
00:06:11.160 will make him look good and or more money. Your wife may not be as attracted to you as she once was. 0.69
00:06:18.700 I'm willing to bet that you've changed, not for the better, more than she has. Your children do want
00:06:25.760 to be led, but even a child can recognize an idiot. That's harsh, but that's real talk. So how do we do 1.00
00:06:32.740 this? How do we change? Obviously, there's a lot to the answer to those questions, but let's just focus
00:06:38.180 on a couple of the lowest common denominators, the lowest hanging fruit. Number one, diet, exercise,
00:06:44.780 and sleep. They are critical. They're paramount to improving yourself. There is no way you can
00:06:50.540 change anything about who you are and how you show up in this world if you're fat, if you're out of
00:06:56.600 shape, if you don't have any energy. It's just not possible. And I'm speaking to you from a position
00:07:01.380 of experience. I already told you that at one point I weighed 50 pounds more than I do today.
00:07:05.160 Okay. And then get this. I was surprised. I was surprised when my wife told me she wasn't
00:07:10.980 attracted to me anymore. I was offended even that she didn't want to have sex with me. 0.95
00:07:16.040 Of course she didn't. I looked horrible. I felt horrible. And my behavior and my attitude 0.97
00:07:20.920 towards her was the manifestation of that, how I felt. Now, I know I'm going to have people tell me,
00:07:27.860 Ryan, it's not about how you look on the outside. It's about what kind of person you are on the inside.
00:07:32.780 And to anybody who says that, you are a straight up liar, both the inside and the outside. Physical 0.99
00:07:39.920 attraction and emotional attraction are important, but the physical is the lowest hanging fruit.
00:07:45.620 Number two, finance matters. These financial concerns and difficulties have been said to be
00:07:51.960 among the leading cause of stress and anxiety and depression and divorce. Look, if you're broke,
00:07:59.040 can you really show up for your family and your business and your community the way you want? Of
00:08:04.500 course you can't. I remember that I neglected my wife and I neglected my kids because I was too busy
00:08:10.880 pacing around, literally pacing the backyard, wondering how I was going to make my mortgage payment.
00:08:16.820 So start paying off your debt, learn some new skills at work so you can make more money.
00:08:21.600 Stop buying the things that you can't afford. Don't worry about the new truck John just bought.
00:08:25.820 Get yourself in check and don't tell me you don't know how. You know how. Everyone knows how. You just
00:08:32.700 have to do it. And the third component is band of brothers. You've got to surround yourself with a
00:08:38.520 band of brothers. These are the guys who are going to push you. They're going to press you. They're going
00:08:42.360 to kick you in the balls if that's what you need to get a jumpstart on your life. Like I can appreciate 0.99
00:08:47.760 that there are guys that you've known forever that you went to elementary school with. I can appreciate
00:08:52.740 you not wanting to leave people behind. But that level of thinking has got you to where you are
00:08:57.680 right now. And guess what? This is the worst part. It's not their fault. It's yours. You know what
00:09:04.780 kind of people you're spending time with. And yet here you are still hanging out with losers. 0.99
00:09:10.640 Inventory, who you spend your time with and reach out to men you know you should be spending time with. 0.93
00:09:16.180 And short of osmosis, every time I spend time with men who are outpacing me in certain areas of life,
00:09:23.320 I improve without fail. That's what I've got for you today, gentlemen. Stop worrying about
00:09:29.940 other people. Stop pointing out their faults. Stop pointing your finger at them. Stop trying to fix
00:09:37.560 them and instead fix yourself first. If you want to learn more about how to do that, I want you to join
00:09:43.000 me and 270 other men who are doing everything I just talked about and more inside of our mastermind,
00:09:48.880 the Iron Council. This is a brotherhood of men working on the skills and the strategies and the
00:09:54.220 discipline required to have it all in their lives. And if you feel like you're on a plateau or maybe
00:09:59.020 you've never launched at all, let us give you the kickstart that you need to reach higher than you
00:10:03.980 ever thought possible. You can learn more about us and reserve your seat at the table at
00:10:08.620 orderofman.com slash ironcouncil. Until next week, guys, take action. Fix yourself first and become
00:10:16.080 the man you are meant to be. Thank you for listening to the Order of Man podcast. If you're ready to take
00:10:22.220 charge of your life and be more of the man you were meant to be, we invite you to join the order
00:10:26.860 at orderofman.com.