Order of Man - FFN 056： How Bad Do You Want It？

00:00:00.000 You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest. Embrace your fears and boldly chart

00:00:05.000 your own path. When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time. Every time.

00:00:10.440 You are not easily deterred or defeated. Rugged. Resilient. Strong. This is your life. This is who

00:00:17.240 you are. This is who you will become. At the end of the day, and after all is said and done,

00:00:22.800 you can call yourself a man. Gentlemen, what is going on today? My name is Ryan

00:00:27.820 Michler, and I am the host and founder of the podcast you are listening to right now,

00:00:31.600 The Order of Man. Now, whether you are new to the show or a longtime listener, I want to welcome you

00:00:37.400 to what I and thousands of other men across the planet would consider the manliest podcast available

00:00:42.460 on the interwebs. It's my goal each and every week to introduce you to some of the most successful men

00:00:48.420 this planet has to offer. I ask great questions. We extract powerful answers and help you implement

00:00:53.920 the exact strategies and the tactics, the tips, the tools, everything that you need

00:00:57.980 to enhance your own life. So if that sounds like something you're interested in, you are in the

00:01:02.400 right place. But with that said, you guys get to listen to me today, not anyone else. That's what

00:01:08.460 the Friday Field Notes are all about. I'm sharing some real world, practical, applicable information

00:01:13.880 with you about my experiences throughout the week. So if you're interested in hearing more,

00:01:18.880 stay tuned to this show. If you're interested in hearing more about our interviews,

00:01:21.700 make sure you subscribe so you don't miss a single show, including, including guys,

00:01:25.800 my conversation with Uncle Ted himself, Mr. Ted Nugent from earlier in the week. I got a lot of

00:01:30.380 feedback on that one, a lot of positive feedback, a lot of negative feedback. Either way, I think

00:01:34.540 there's some lessons to be extracted from Ted Nugent and I think you'll really enjoy that show.

00:01:38.540 Now, before I talk with you about the topic of today, I do want to mention to you, this is the

00:01:43.600 first time I'm going to announce this, that we are going to be hosting our inaugural Order of Man

00:01:48.340 Meetup in Kansas City. That's going to be held on August 12th, 2017. I'm going to be there.

00:01:54.620 Mr. Steven Mansfield, the author of Mansfield's book of Manly Men and Building Your Band of Brothers,

00:01:59.700 he's going to be there. We've got so much in store and we're already filled roughly 20%,

00:02:04.760 I believe, of the spots available. So if you're interested, you want to learn more about what

00:02:08.420 we're doing, get all the information and you can do that at orderofman.com slash event. Again,

00:02:13.820 you're going to be learning what we are doing that day and you are going to claim your spot.

00:02:17.800 Do not miss that first meetup, guys. It's going to be big. All right, guys. Now, as I kick things

00:02:22.780 off today, I want you to ask yourself one, just one very, very simple question. And that question

00:02:29.580 is how bad do you want it? I don't know what it looks like for you, but I want to know how bad you

00:02:37.140 want it. Because based on some of the conversations I've had earlier this week, I can't help but think

00:02:42.240 that the answer to that question is not bad enough. I mean, it is amazing to me how many men

00:02:48.840 will message me, text me, email me, call me about their relationship problems or their health and

00:02:56.160 that spare tire or their bank account or their failing business. And when I give advice or

00:03:01.820 suggestions about what to do about it, they're so quick to come up with an excuse. You are a liar. 1.00

00:03:09.740 Admit that. Just admit that you are a liar. If you want something and you don't have it, 1.00

00:03:15.180 you're lying. You're lying to yourself. Or maybe you're working towards it. And if that's the case,

00:03:20.600 I'm going to give you the benefit of doubt on that one. But before you get upset about that,

00:03:24.480 before you get your panties in a bunch, I want you to know that I'm a liar too. Like this is not

00:03:28.740 something that I'm immune to. We all are. It's human nature to shift blame and responsibility to

00:03:35.120 someone or something else. But at the end of the day, all that shifting and blaming and crafting

00:03:41.740 excuses does not move you and I closer to the goal of a deeper connection with our wives or our

00:03:48.420 children or a thriving business or a bigger bank account or bigger muscles, whatever.

00:03:54.560 And if you really want something, I mean, really, really genuinely and truly want something,

00:04:00.180 the woman or the money, the business, the body, whatever it may be, you are going to have to do

00:04:05.460 more, more than what you're currently doing. You're going to have to look yourself in the mirror and

00:04:10.360 say, Ryan, you are a liar. And the reason you don't have what you want is because you shift blame 1.00

00:04:17.320 and responsibility and accountability to everybody else except for yourself. The reason you don't have

00:04:22.840 what you want is because you're soft and you're weak. And you look for every chance you can to make

00:04:29.780 an excuse. The reason you don't have what you want is because when things get just a little bit

00:04:34.380 tough, you run like a scared little boy. That's what you're going to have to tell yourself.

00:04:40.040 Look, gentlemen, I get it. That's not an easy conversation to have with yourself. That's not

00:04:44.240 an easy thing to say that you're inadequate or you suck at something or you're not good enough.

00:04:49.420 But if you want it bad enough, that's exactly where you'll start. It was painful when my wife left 0.96

00:04:55.400 and I literally found myself crying in an empty room, looking at a picture of my one

00:05:00.800 year old boy at the time saying, I'm going to get you back. It was difficult when my wife

00:05:06.040 told me that she didn't want to have sex with me because I was too fat. Now she didn't use 1.00

00:05:10.360 those words exactly, but that's what it meant. It was difficult when I got stomped on for two

00:05:15.620 years in my financial planning practice while I was a broke man trying to tell other people

00:05:21.700 what to do with their money. It was difficult when I looked in the mirror and I told myself

00:05:26.800 that the reason that I was unhappy and unfulfilled is because I'd never lived a life of courage

00:05:32.720 and fear dictated every decision that I made or the lack of a decision. That was difficult.

00:05:40.140 All of it. Life. It's still difficult, but isn't that kind of the point? You and I are here to learn,

00:05:46.900 to learn skills, use our gifts, go through trials, take risks, teach ourselves how to rise

00:05:53.560 from the ashes that usually consume us. That is the point. It's the refiner's fire that makes you

00:06:01.640 who you are. You can let it consume you and that's a choice or you can choose to emerge stronger than you

00:06:10.080 were before. But in order to do that, in order to overcome the things that hold you back, you're going

00:06:14.980 to have to first get your expectations right. Somewhere along the way, we all started believing

00:06:23.020 and the world started to convince us that life is supposed to be easy, that it's supposed to be

00:06:29.400 comfortable. And that if all the pieces aren't coming together just perfectly, that we're weird

00:06:34.280 or jacked up or a loser. It's perpetuated by these internet gurus. I talk about this all the time who lie

00:06:41.300 to you. They lie to you to sell you a product. It's perpetuated by Facebook when they introduced a new

00:06:46.480 filter to make your arms look bigger and your gut look a little smaller. It's perpetuated by your

00:06:52.640 neighbor, John, who just bought a new boat, but he didn't find it convenient to tell you that he can't

00:06:58.320 even make his mortgage payment, let alone the boat that's going to be repoed in 45 days.

00:07:03.420 When you set the right expectations, not the fake BS that we buy into in this digital age,

00:07:09.160 you're going to be more capable of overcoming what might work to hold you back because you

00:07:13.500 recognize the enemy. You can hear more about the enemy and what I'm talking about there.

00:07:18.880 If you listen to last week's Friday field notes, that one is at orderofman.com slash FFN 055.

00:07:27.900 But you recognize that that enemy exists and you know exactly what it's going to take to overcome it,

00:07:33.420 to get where you want to be. It's going to take some long nights. As I was getting this project,

00:07:37.840 order of man up and running. I stayed up till midnight most nights and sometimes I still do.

00:07:42.440 I woke up at four in the morning because I had a full time day job. When I was trying to salvage

00:07:47.860 my marriage and get my wife and my son back in my life, I sacrificed a ton of time and energy and

00:07:53.460 money and resources figuring out how to be a better husband and how to be a better father. When I was

00:07:58.620 trying to lose the 50 pounds I managed to acquire, I had to jump on the scale and tell myself the truth

00:08:03.480 about how bad it had actually gotten and that I had to go to the gym every single day. Not when I felt

00:08:10.580 like it, not when it was convenient, but every single day. Guys, there's no magic pill, formula or product

00:08:16.540 or service or whatever that is going to save you. There is only you. But guess what? You are enough.

00:08:23.220 That's the beauty. You are enough. You already have everything that you need to be successful.

00:08:28.160 You just can't see it because you're too busy lying to yourself about how horrible your wife is and

00:08:35.620 that's why your marriage is failing. Or you're too busy lying to yourself that the reason you

00:08:39.560 aren't in shape is because you're quote unquote big boned. You're too busy lying to yourself that

00:08:44.760 the reason you don't have any money in your account is because Obama or Trump aren't doing

00:08:50.420 what they're supposed to be doing as president. You're too busy lying to yourself that the reason you

00:08:54.940 haven't started that side business is because you just don't have the time. What if you spent all

00:09:00.640 of that time and that energy that you spend fabricating excuses to keep yourself safe and

00:09:07.080 you actually redirected that towards the objective you've been dreaming about for years and in some

00:09:12.060 cases a lifetime. What if instead of complaining or pretending that you try really hard, that you

00:09:17.840 actually did the relentless, thankless work required to succeed at the level that you talk

00:09:24.900 so much about? Gentlemen, it's going to take you a clear set of expectations. It's going to take

00:09:31.540 sacrifice. It's going to take discipline and commitment. It's going to take literal blood,

00:09:36.960 sweat, and tears to make that dream a reality. But if you want it bad enough, that's exactly what you

00:09:43.120 will do. With that, I'm going to sign off for today, gentlemen, but remember again, we're going

00:09:47.640 to be hosting our first inaugural order of man meetup, August 12th, 2017. You can get the details

00:09:53.800 at order of man.com slash event. And if you want to join 280 other brothers who are going to help you

00:09:59.280 do everything that I just talked about and more, you need to join our brotherhood at order of man.com

00:10:04.840 slash iron council. Until next week, ask yourself, how bad do I want it? Do the work required to have

00:10:13.180 it and become the man you are meant to be. Thank you for listening to the order of man podcast.

00:10:19.820 You're ready to take charge of your life and be more of the man you were meant to be.

00:10:23.520 We invite you to join the order at order of man.com.

Order of Man - May 19, 2017

FFN 056： How Bad Do You Want It？

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