Order of Man - June 09, 2017


FFN 059： The King of Your Castle


Episode Stats


Length

10 minutes

Words per minute

193.95612

Word count

2,133

Sentence count

110


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

What does it mean to be a man outside of the home? What role does it play in the home and how can you step up to the plate as a man inside the home if you don t have a father figure in your life?

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
00:00:00.000 You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest. Embrace your fears and boldly chart
00:00:05.000 your own path. When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time. Every time.
00:00:10.500 You are not easily deterred or defeated. Rugged. Resilient. Strong. This is your life. This is
00:00:17.080 who you are. This is who you will become. At the end of the day, and after all is said and done,
00:00:22.800 you can call yourself a man. Gentlemen, what is going on? My name is Ryan
00:00:27.280 Mickler, and I am the host and founder of this podcast, The Order of Men. Whether you are
00:00:31.760 listening in for the first time today, or you've been with us since the beginning, or somewhere
00:00:37.000 along the way, I am glad that you are with us here today. My goal, guys, is to interview
00:00:41.700 the world's most successful men, ask them questions, extract their hard-fought lessons,
00:00:46.000 their hard-earned lessons, so you can improve your life as a man. But with that said, that's
00:00:51.380 not what I'm going to be doing today, because you are listening to our Friday Field Notes
00:00:54.920 show, which is essentially me talking for the next eight to ten minutes about some thoughts
00:00:59.240 that I've had throughout the week. I will tell you that I get a lot of the inspiration
00:01:02.540 for these shows, Friday Field Notes, from two places. First, our Order of Men Facebook group,
00:01:07.760 which is open to any man who wants to join, and you can do that at orderofmen.com slash groups
00:01:13.060 slash orderofmen, and also our exclusive band of brothers, The Iron Council, which is only open
00:01:20.600 to men who are genuinely committed and genuinely serious about improving their lives, which
00:01:25.920 you can access at orderofmen.com slash ironcouncil. Go check out those two resources, and again,
00:01:32.200 guys, I hope to see you in both of those. I just want to jump right into the conversation
00:01:35.920 today because I only have about eight minutes to share some thoughts on a subject that I believe
00:01:42.020 really needs to be addressed. There seems to be a lot of men these days that have either
00:01:46.640 forgotten what it means to be a man in the home or never learned the skills to step up fully as
00:01:52.740 the king of their castle. I know as I have the discussion, there's going to be someone that
00:01:57.160 isn't going to necessarily like what I have to say because they're going to interpret me using the
00:02:02.120 phrase king of the castle as asshole of the castle, and I want to be really, really clear with
00:02:08.200 you here. That is not what I'm referring to at all. When I talk about being the king of your
00:02:12.580 castle, I'm talking about righteous, virtuous, honorable leadership regarding what happens
00:02:20.280 in the walls of your home. I look around and I see the pain in men's eyes. I talk with men
00:02:25.860 every single day who I know are struggling, and if it's not pain, it's death. There's millions of men
00:02:31.520 walking around like lifeless, soulless zombies, and the repercussions of that is, at best, a meaningless
00:02:41.800 purpose-less life, and at worst, it might be infidelity issues or addiction to drugs and
00:02:48.740 alcohol, pornography, and in a lot of cases, it's verbal. It's emotional. It's physical abuse,
00:02:54.080 and while everybody out there is trying to change the world, solve world hunger, and bring world peace,
00:03:00.120 and doing it all at a global scale, I'm here to tell you that the way that we change the world
00:03:05.580 is by equipping men with the tools and the skills to lead their own kingdoms, and that means we start
00:03:12.360 by going into the most basic unit in society, which is the family, and this has become my life's work
00:03:19.200 because I know, guys, firsthand what it's like to live in a home without a father. I know what it's
00:03:24.560 like to live with a man who has forsaken his responsibilities of king inside of the home,
00:03:31.620 and truth be told, I've been that man, and I know there's thousands of men listening to this who
00:03:36.780 would agree to the same in their own lives. Look, guys, we've got lots of hats to wear. Husband,
00:03:42.380 father, business owner, employee, chairman, coach, pastor, friend, neighbor, any number of the thousands
00:03:50.280 of things that we do on a daily basis, but it is my firm belief that if you can't nail down the
00:03:57.080 father-husband role, none of those other hats really even matter. I'm sick of seeing guys who
00:04:02.640 make millions of dollars, but they can't connect with their kids. I'm sick of seeing guys spend so
00:04:08.940 much time at the gym at the expense of their family. I'm sick of hearing about men who use their
00:04:15.520 financial acumen to justify the mistreatment of their wives or their children. You have to get this
00:04:23.840 right. You have to lead your family. You have to be the king inside of your home. What does this even
00:04:30.080 look like? Well, the righteous king leads with love and justice and mercy and compassion and strength
00:04:38.020 and vision, fortitude. That's a tall order. It's not easy to fulfill, but it is what is required of you
00:04:46.840 as a man, especially considering you and I voluntarily signed the dotted line that said,
00:04:52.420 I will take care of my wife and I will provide for and protect and preside over my family.
00:05:00.380 I know we're not even going to scratch the surface guys on all that you'll be called to do in your
00:05:05.360 home, but I want to share with you a couple of points that I believe if you get these things right,
00:05:10.220 a lot of the other responsibilities that you and I have will just fall into place. And the first thing
00:05:14.500 I want to talk with you about today is vision. The first element of being that king in your castle
00:05:19.460 is having a very clear vision for what it is you even want to accomplish. What do you want out of
00:05:25.600 your marriage? What does that marriage look like? What do you want for your kids? Do you spend time
00:05:30.260 thinking about these things? Sure. You do that in your business. You forecast all that you can within
00:05:35.140 your business, but when's the last time you forecasted what needs to happen inside of your home
00:05:40.100 without some measurement of vision, there's absolutely going to be no growth and the family
00:05:47.020 dynamic and the home will remain stagnant and everybody will wonder when are we going to actually
00:05:52.320 do something? And the next is to communicate that vision guys. Maybe you've casted that vision.
00:05:58.360 Maybe you have a dream or idea or something that you want in the future. Maybe you know what you want.
00:06:03.600 Maybe you've got a great idea of exactly where you're going, but if you're the only one
00:06:08.240 who knows what that vision is, how successful can you possibly be? Especially when there's one or two
00:06:14.440 or five or seven or however many people are relying upon you to make this thing work. You might want to
00:06:22.580 include the people who are impacted by your decisions in that process of deciding. And I'm not
00:06:28.200 suggesting that you go ask your kids what you should do when it comes to investing your money,
00:06:32.900 but there are components of the family dynamic chores, vacations, disagreements,
00:06:38.840 those types of things that you can. And I think you should discuss with your children.
00:06:44.300 I know there's too many kids out there who had never had conversations, for example, about money
00:06:48.220 because their parents were afraid to have that conversation. And so we, as parents bring our own
00:06:53.020 baggage to the table and end up hindering our children when we could help because we cast vision
00:06:59.260 and we communicate with those people who are affected by that vision. One thing we just started
00:07:05.640 implementing is a family meeting each morning. We read scriptures for about 10 minutes. And then we
00:07:10.400 talk about what the schedule is for the day, what chores need to be done, what's going on that evening,
00:07:16.120 all of that type of stuff. And it's a way for us to get on the same page. My wife and I actually
00:07:20.080 also do a meeting each Monday and we talk about the family and the finances and everything else that we
00:07:24.100 need to talk about. And I don't care what you do, as long as you're finding ways to
00:07:29.080 continually communicate that vision and that future and the expectations and the priorities
00:07:34.300 to the people again, who are going to be impacted by those decisions. And the third component I want
00:07:39.980 to talk with you about is taking care of yourself first. First. I know I just talked about how
00:07:47.040 important it is for you to take care of your family and it is, don't get me wrong. It is. But if you
00:07:51.500 can't find a way to take care of yourself first, taking care of anyone else, whether that's a coworker
00:07:56.420 or a neighbor or a colleague, or in this case, your wife and children is just not going to last.
00:08:01.320 You need to find time to exercise or to read. I say, or it's also, and, and read and enjoy
00:08:07.580 whatever hobbies that you enjoy. Surround yourself with other men who uplift you, who motivate you,
00:08:14.140 take time to do things on your own, set boundaries for yourself so you can get all of the energy that
00:08:20.380 you need in order to sustain the role, the calling of husband and father. It's difficult. I know I get
00:08:26.900 this because I deal with the same struggles that you guys deal with, but it's absolutely required
00:08:30.840 to thrive in your role as the King of the castle. And the last component of this discussion I want
00:08:35.900 to have with you is that of preparation. I know it's cliche to say, but the world frankly is a
00:08:40.000 dangerous place. And if you don't believe that you're misinformed or you're delusional,
00:08:45.140 but rather than run from the fact or pretend that it doesn't exist when it does, you'd be better off
00:08:50.780 facing the reality that you and your family might find yourself in a dangerous situation.
00:08:55.120 And that's why you need to be prepared, not your kids or your wife, but you need to be prepared.
00:09:01.400 You need to cast that vision. You need to help them understand and be prepared for whatever may come
00:09:07.940 your way. You need to be physically strong, storing up in provisions, mental fortitude, toughness,
00:09:13.760 resiliency, a certain skillset that's required when that day comes knocking on your door.
00:09:20.580 I know the dynamics in relationships have changed. I know there's women entering the workforce. I know
00:09:25.780 women are more assertive than they've ever been. And to that, I say, that's great. I think a King
00:09:30.680 can lead hand in hand with his queen. I think that's the way it should be. My wife and I have an
00:09:35.980 equal responsibility in raising our children and ensuring that our family vision is carried out.
00:09:40.780 But the fact remains that at the end of the day, you are responsible for the well-being of your
00:09:45.260 family. When it all hits the fan, people are going to look at you. They're not going to look at your
00:09:49.800 wife or your kids or whoever else. They're going to look at you. When there's no money coming into the
00:09:54.500 house, people are going to look at you. When there's an emergency, people are going to look for guidance
00:10:00.380 and direction and leadership from you. A righteous King understands that. And as the King of his
00:10:08.040 castle, he prepares for it. Gentlemen, that's what I've got for you today. Remember, you are the King
00:10:13.520 of the castle. And if you're going to be the King, you might as well be a good one. I hope this serves
00:10:18.220 you well. I hope you take these ideas into your life because if we truly want to change the world,
00:10:22.360 it all starts with changing the dynamic inside the four walls we call our castle.
00:10:26.260 If you want to learn more about how to step up and be the leader and the man that we're talking
00:10:32.100 about, I encourage you to join our exclusive brotherhood, the Iron Council. You can see what
00:10:37.080 we're up to and claim your spot at the table at orderofman.com slash ironcouncil. Guys, until next
00:10:42.540 week, take action, become a righteous King of your castle and become the man you are meant to be.
00:10:49.700 Thank you for listening to the Order of Man podcast. You're ready to take charge of your life
00:10:54.320 and be more of the man you are meant to be. We invite you to join the Order at orderofman.com.