What does it mean to be a man? What are the four quadrants of masculinity? How do we become a better version of ourselves? How can we be more like a man in all areas of our lives? In this episode of Field Notes, Ryan Michler breaks down what he believes it means to become a man.
00:00:00.000You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest. Embrace your fears and boldly chart your own path.
00:00:06.020When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time. Every time.
00:00:10.480You are not easily deterred or defeated. Rugged. Resilient. Strong.
00:00:15.500This is your life. This is who you are. This is who you will become.
00:00:19.760At the end of the day, and after all is said and done, you can call yourself a man.
00:00:24.720Gentlemen, what is going on today? My name is Ryan Michler, and I am the host and the founder of this podcast, The Order of Men.
00:00:31.600If you are listening in for the first time, this is our Friday Field Notes.
00:00:35.320I'm going to be talking with you for the next 10 minutes or so to share with you some things that I've been thinking about from throughout the week.
00:00:40.760But we also have a show which is released each Tuesday where I interview the world's most successful and powerful men,
00:00:46.980ask them some really good questions, and get their even better answers.
00:00:51.160Guys, I know first and foremost that we have talked about this before, but you have got to check out our upcoming Order of Men meetup
00:00:58.140with the one and only Stephen Mansfield.
00:01:00.420He is the author of Mansfield's Book of Manly Men and Building Your Band of Brothers, among others.
00:01:05.400I'm going to be there. Stephen's going to be there.
00:01:06.980We just brought in three more powerful speakers.
00:01:09.340Josiah Novak to talk about fitness and nutrition.
00:01:11.580Stephen Heiner, who's been helping behind the scenes with Order of Men.
00:01:14.760And Larry Hagner with The Good Dad Project, who I know a lot of you know.
00:01:18.720It's going to be held August 12th, 2017, and the first 50 guys to sign up will get a free copy of Stephen Mansfield's book,
00:01:28.900You can get the details and register at orderofman.com slash event.
00:01:33.000Now, let's just get right into the conversation today.
00:01:36.160When I started Order of Men a little over two years ago, I made a post originally and a video available called
00:01:41.620The Eight Skillsets Every Man Must Master.
00:01:44.200That video and the post have been viewed tens of thousands of times, which led me to believe that men really wanted to know what they needed to be able to do in order to call themselves men.
00:01:54.800And while I still wholeheartedly agree with the eight skill sets that I shared, over time, my thought process has changed.
00:02:01.260And through my own personal experience, I've been able to articulate a little bit more clearly about what I think it means to be a man.
00:02:08.060Of course, that's open for interpretation.
00:02:10.240I've asked over 130 men in our interview podcast what it means to be a man, and I have received over 130 answers.
00:02:17.980Coming up with the exact formula for masculinity is proving to be a pretty difficult process and a never-ending process, I'm sure.
00:02:26.080But what I have discovered through thousands of hours of work and reading and personal observation is that in order to fulfill our responsibilities as men,
00:02:34.600there are four quadrants, four domains that I believe every single man must address in order to become the best possible version of himself.
00:02:43.580So I thought it would be a good idea to break down those domains a bit more and share with you some of what I've learned over the past couple of years.
00:02:49.480The domains that I want to cover and talk about with you are calibration, connection, condition, and contribution.
00:02:56.160I'm going to explain what all of those mean and how you can become more proficient in each one of those areas so that you and I can fully step up as the protector and the provider and the presider that we are all meant to be.
00:03:10.020And when I talk about calibration, I'm talking about getting right with yourself first.
00:03:14.580Yes, our job is to provide and protect others.
00:03:17.320But as I've said it in other podcasts and other platforms, it is impossible, impossible to do that when we haven't fully learned how to take care of ourselves first.
00:03:27.540And I'm talking with you about mindset.
00:03:30.740I'm talking with you about the virtues of honor and integrity that all of us have to adhere to.
00:03:36.920I'm talking about your soul and if you believe even your spirituality.
00:03:41.580And this is not an easy thing to do, but the fact remains that calibrating yourself to a vision and a purpose and a direction and objective for your life lies at the core of your ability to function as a man.
00:03:53.700You've seen men who are what I would call wanderers or worse, zombies.
00:03:58.760These are the guys that have no purpose, no direction.
00:04:01.500They seem to go wherever the wind blows them.
00:04:40.880This is your ability to connect with others, your family, your neighbors, your coworkers, your friends, everyone that you connect with.
00:04:46.940And as I've thought about how we've been able to grow order of man to what it is today, I can't help but think of the hundreds of thousands of you who listen in each and every week.
00:04:55.980I can't help but think of the guys that I met at StyleCon two years ago who helped me launch this thing in the first place.
00:05:01.240Now, when I think about the times I've been the most fulfilled and happy, I can't help but think about going on vacations with my family or going for a walk or eating dinner together.
00:05:10.740When I think about times where I've been falling and more importantly, how I've recovered from that.
00:05:15.800I can't help but think of my band of brothers who have done and said exactly what needed to be done and said in order to kick my butt in gear.
00:05:24.680But I think it's critical that we step back occasionally and we have to evaluate, evaluate the relationships that we want and the relationships that we already have.
00:05:33.220We should also consider how we, how we are going to show up in that relationship.
00:05:38.780I'm going to talk with you more about that in a minute.
00:05:41.040But are the people in your life inspiring you or are they deflating you?
00:05:45.040Are the people in your life helping you get where you want to go or are they hindering you?
00:05:49.440Do you enjoy being around and are you energized by the people in your life or do they detract and drain you?
00:05:55.760So as you take inventory, you're going to identify people that frankly, they should not be in your life.
00:06:01.480I know that's hard, but it's imperative that you do it.
00:06:04.840You're also going to find people that you should double down on.
00:06:07.440Do it because you never know what will come from one of these relationships if you're willing to invest a little time and energy into them.
00:06:16.920Now, when I talk about condition, I'm talking about your physical health and more specifically your diet, nutrition, exercise, strength, stamina, conditioning, sleep, those types of things.
00:06:27.280So many of you have heard a bit about my fitness journey and I'm not going to bore you with all the details here.
00:06:32.160But what I will say is that I was nowhere near the man I am today, even just three or four years ago.
00:06:39.000I did not have the energy and the physical capacity to show up fully at work or at home or any other place that we as men are required to show up.