Order of Man - FFN 065： Should I focus on Strengths or Weaknesses？

00:00:00.000 You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest. Embrace your fears and boldly chart

00:00:05.000 your own path. When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time. Every time.

00:00:10.500 You are not easily deterred or defeated. Rugged. Resilient. Strong. This is your life. This is who

00:00:17.240 you are. This is who you will become. At the end of the day, and after all is said and done,

00:00:22.800 you can call yourself a man. Gentlemen, what is going on? My name is

00:00:27.140 Ryan Michler, and I am the host and founder of the podcast you're listening to right now,

00:00:31.460 The Order of Man. This, guys, is our Friday Field Notes. This is my ramblings, my thoughts,

00:00:36.220 my ideas, everything basically that's been bouncing around in my brain for the last week.

00:00:40.780 We also have an interview show which is released each Tuesday, so make sure you subscribe to this

00:00:45.640 podcast so you never miss this Friday Field Notes or the interview show with guys like Lewis Howes,

00:00:51.140 Jocko Willing, Grant Cardone, Andy Frisilla, Tim Kennedy, so many more. You're not going to want

00:00:56.580 to miss any of that. Now, I had a thought for today. I'm actually going to mix things up.

00:01:01.440 Normally, I would just talk with you about some things and some ideas and thoughts on my mind,

00:01:05.460 but today what I want to do is I want to answer some questions from you. I get so many questions

00:01:10.120 from throughout the week, and I thought this would be a perfect platform and an opportunity to share

00:01:14.480 some of my thoughts on these questions. But before I get into these five or six questions,

00:01:19.340 I do want to give you a couple of quick announcements. Number one, and I'm only going to introduce or talk

00:01:24.000 about this one additional time. It's our Order of Man live meetup in Kansas City, which is held

00:01:30.620 August 12th, 2017. You're going to hear me talk about it today, and you might hear me talk about

00:01:37.000 it one more time next week because we are shutting down registration. We only have five spots available

00:01:42.020 for our meetup. So, if you want to learn more about what we're going to be doing there again,

00:01:45.640 August 12th, 2017, head to orderofman.com slash event. Now, the second thing I want to mention

00:01:53.000 is our exclusive brotherhood, the Iron Council. A lot of you guys know what this is all about. A lot

00:01:58.520 of you guys are involved in the Iron Council, but if you don't know or you're not involved yet,

00:02:02.520 I would encourage you to go to orderofman.com slash Iron Council to learn about all the tools

00:02:07.720 and the accountability and the resources that we are sharing inside of that brotherhood. Again,

00:02:13.560 that's orderofman.com slash Iron Council. All right, guys, let's do this again. We're going to be

00:02:19.300 talking about some questions that have been asked of me inside of our Facebook group.

00:02:23.640 The first one, Josh says, what is the most influential book that you have ever read? Guys,

00:02:28.780 I'm a big reader. You're probably a reader like I am. I've read a ton of books. I've got a huge

00:02:33.340 library behind me, but I would suggest two books that have been probably my most influential books.

00:02:40.600 The first one is As a Man Thinketh. That one talks a lot about the mindset and positive thinking

00:02:46.820 around having what it is that you want to have in life. This is the foundation. The absolute

00:02:52.880 foundation for growth and success when it comes to your health and your business and your relationships

00:02:58.120 is getting that six inches between your ears right. As a Man Thinketh. The second book that I would

00:03:05.220 give you is a newer book. It's Extreme Ownership by Jocko Willink and Leif Babin. I've interviewed both

00:03:11.420 of those guys. You can check that out at orderofman.com slash 060. That's the Jocko

00:03:18.300 interview and orderofman.com slash 078. That's my interview with Leif. That talks about extreme

00:03:25.580 ownership, taking responsibility and accountability in your life and being a great leader. So I think

00:03:30.140 between those two books, those are probably the two most influential books that I have and have read

00:03:36.580 as of right now. Sean asks, how do you avoid getting too frustrated with your kids when they're

00:03:42.960 having a meltdown on a vacation? This is a tough one. We've all experienced this. We've all had kids

00:03:48.220 who have freaked out in the grocery store or on vacation or somewhere where it's actually pretty

00:03:52.740 difficult to handle. What I would say first and foremost is you need to be an assertive parent before

00:03:57.540 the vacation. If they're used to freaking out and used to getting their way and used to you bending or

00:04:03.840 caving, when they throw a temper tantrum, they're going to continue to do that in any circumstance.

00:04:08.640 So step number one is before the vacation happens, make sure that you're assertive. Don't allow those

00:04:14.320 children to bully and push you and coerce you and manipulate you like only children can and be the

00:04:19.780 parent that you're supposed to be. The other suggestion I would give you is create margin,

00:04:24.480 create margin. What do I mean by this? Usually when I get frustrated and I get upset,

00:04:28.720 it's because I don't have any physical margin space that I need or even the mental margin to deal

00:04:35.960 with a temper tantrum or some fire that I need to put out at work. And I think we as men stack our

00:04:42.520 days up to the brim and we wonder why we can't get these fires or these emergencies put out is

00:04:47.920 because we don't have the physical or mental or emotional capacity to be able to deal with these

00:04:53.360 situations. So get good at saying no, learn to identify what is actually valuable, what is not

00:04:59.660 valuable so that as situations do arise, whether it's a temper tantrum for your child or a fire that

00:05:06.340 you might be putting out at work, that you give yourself the space and the clarity to deal with

00:05:11.440 the situation the way that it needs to be dealt with. All right, I hope that helps. Now, the third

00:05:16.220 question, Kenny, what are you better at than all of your friends? I don't know that I would

00:05:22.480 necessarily say I'm better at than all of my friends, but if there was one thing that I feel

00:05:27.440 like I am exceptionally good at, it's clarity. Number one, taking a complex solution or answer

00:05:35.900 or scenario and stripping all of the BS away and breaking it down to the lowest common denominator.

00:05:43.620 And that clarity of purpose and vision and what actually needs to be accomplished has been very,

00:05:49.400 very valuable for me. And so I try to play to that strength. I try to isolate what actually

00:05:55.400 matters versus what doesn't. The other thing that I would say I'm really good at is consistency in

00:06:01.140 action. I'm not the smartest. I'm not the brightest. I'm not the most connected or most intelligent or

00:06:06.380 most financially backed. But one thing that I feel like I am really, really good at is maybe it's just

00:06:13.440 hardheadedness or stubbornness, but I am relentless. I do not back off. I'm consistent in my

00:06:19.200 actions. And I think that makes up for a lot of maybe my other shortcomings that I do have. So

00:06:24.440 that's what I'd say there. Justin says, protect, provide, preside. Is it two out of three is not

00:06:30.380 bad or should we be bringing up where we are lacking? Here's the deal. You've heard me talk

00:06:37.100 about protect, provide, preside. Those are the three pillars of masculinity from my perspective.

00:06:41.400 Two out of three is not bad. That's true. But at the end of the day, I think we ought to be a little

00:06:48.400 bit more well-rounded. So yes, you're playing better than the averages, I suppose, but I would rather be

00:06:55.660 proficient in all of these. So I think we should always be working on the things that we struggle

00:07:00.980 with. If you're a great protector, maybe you've got some defensive or martial arts training. Maybe

00:07:06.220 you've done some tactical shooting, maybe you're physically fit, and yet you don't know how to be

00:07:11.760 a great leader, which is that preside column. I think that you're doing yourself and doing your

00:07:16.720 family or your community or your employees a disservice. So I think we should be working on

00:07:21.060 all three of those. To say that I'm good at one and not good at the others isn't going to cut it when

00:07:26.340 the other two is what's required. So always be working on those weaknesses and where you're falling

00:07:31.320 short because I think being a well-rounded man is critically important. I think this is the fifth

00:07:37.380 question. Scott asks, what is your favorite famous quote? And guys, I like quotes. I'm a quote guy.

00:07:44.080 I've got thousands and thousands of quotes that I like and saved in various places. But the one that

00:07:50.040 always stands out to me is John Eldridge's quote. And if you don't know who that is, he's the author

00:07:54.680 of Wild at Heart. Check that book out. It's a great book on masculinity. It does have a Christian

00:08:00.060 undertone, but it's still a great, great book, even if you don't happen to be Christian. That said,

00:08:06.440 he says in the book, deep in his heart, every man longs for a battle to fight, an adventure to live,

00:08:12.660 and a beauty to rescue. And I think at the end of the day, when I look at guys who are struggling in

00:08:18.360 their life, it's really fascinating that they are typically missing one, if not two or three of those

00:08:25.500 components, a battle to fight, an adventure to live, and a beauty to rescue. And so, as I go

00:08:31.060 throughout my day, what is my battle? This is my battle, order of man. It's bringing masculinity

00:08:38.460 back and it's helping men become better men in their communities and businesses and families.

00:08:44.900 This is my battle. When it comes to an adventure, I'm always looking for the next adventure. I want to

00:08:50.420 go out. I want to live life. We live a short life. And I think it's supposed to be lived.

00:08:56.460 And so, what are you saying no to? What opportunities are passing you by because you

00:09:00.980 are not taking this adventurous spirit and you'd rather live this life of complacency and mediocrity?

00:09:07.080 And then when it comes to a beauty to rescue, that's my wife and that's my children. My job is to

00:09:12.360 be the man in their lives and to not necessarily rescue them like a damsel in distress, but to be the

00:09:18.640 hero, not only of my own life, but to be the hero of theirs as well. And that's my beauty to rescue.

00:09:25.060 So, that's my quote. Deep in his heart, every man longs for a battle to fight, an adventure to live,

00:09:30.280 and a beauty to rescue. The next question Robert asks, is it better to focus on working to your

00:09:35.420 strengths or shoring up your weaknesses? I think I alluded to this already. I think it is important

00:09:41.540 that we address some of our weaknesses, but at the end of the day, there's just some things that

00:09:46.860 you shouldn't be doing. For example, I'm not real detail-oriented when it comes to this podcast.

00:09:52.920 I'm not going to continue to bang my head against the wall because somebody told me I have to get

00:09:57.860 good at this. I enjoy talking. I enjoy having interviews. I enjoy asking questions. I don't

00:10:03.100 enjoy the production of the podcast. And so, I've hired somebody to help me manage the production

00:10:08.820 of the show. That's a prime example where I recognize a weakness and yet I'm just not willing

00:10:14.400 to invest the time and energy and commitment to improving. So, there are areas of life where I

00:10:19.200 think you probably ought to shore up your weaknesses. Communication, for example, assertive

00:10:23.320 communication would be one that is an absolute requirement. Maybe it's your discipline and some

00:10:29.220 of the virtues that we talk about when it comes to being a better man. But there are certain tasks

00:10:33.640 that if you're not good at, I don't think you should spend a lot of time and energy focusing on

00:10:37.720 those. And that is where you should play to your strengths, identifying and then playing to that

00:10:42.680 strength. Hope that helps there. This one's kind of an interesting one. Jonathan asked,

00:10:46.700 did you watch Game of Thrones and what did you think? I might watch Game of Thrones. I did not

00:10:53.240 watch the new episode or new season or whatever it was that came out. I stayed pretty busy with

00:10:58.940 travel and work and family and everything else. Not that I'm opposed to sitting down and watching

00:11:03.560 a show, but I probably won't be binging on Game of Thrones or anything else because I've got a lot

00:11:08.660 of other things to do. Again, if that's your outlet and that's what does it for you, then by all

00:11:13.780 means, as long as it's done with the intention of, hey, I'm going to watch this show and then I'm

00:11:18.600 going to get back to work. And it's intentional about being an outlet of release or relaxation

00:11:23.580 for you. But I see too many people get consumed with whether it's a series or a video game or who

00:11:29.960 knows, and they're not doing the rest of what they should be doing in life. So I did not watch it.

00:11:34.020 I don't know anything about it, but I probably will at some point. And the last question that I

00:11:38.660 want to answer for you guys today came from Michael. He says, the number one key to being

00:11:43.480 an entrepreneur. There's a lot guys. And for me to say, hey, there's only one thing. If you

00:11:49.340 do this one thing, that's all that matters would probably be a lie. That's not true. I think you need

00:11:54.980 to be the total package. I think you need to have a lot going for you. I think you need to shore up

00:11:59.060 the weaknesses like we talked about in an earlier question. But there is one skill that I think is

00:12:03.580 very, very valuable that has served me well. And I alluded to this earlier. And that is consistency.

00:12:09.820 Consistency. If you can be consistent in your action and do things over and over and over again,

00:12:16.020 long after the newness and the excitement and the energy and the passion is worn off,

00:12:20.680 I think it's just a matter of time before you experience success. Now, I don't condone beating

00:12:25.740 your head against the wall with something that's not working. But I do think that too often we as

00:12:30.700 entrepreneurs or men in general give up on something so quickly because we're not experiencing

00:12:36.000 the immediate results that we would like. The reality is, is that you and I probably spent 10

00:12:40.880 years or two decades, three decades, even getting us to the point where we are right now. And we expect

00:12:46.740 that if we just go into the gym or we just make these phone calls or we make this social media post,

00:12:51.260 or we do this podcast that we're going to experience results overnight. I wish that were the case,

00:12:55.920 guys, but reality and experience has told me otherwise. So I think again, if there's one

00:13:01.600 thing that I'm good at and one thing that I think all entrepreneurs should improve upon,

00:13:05.940 it's consistency in action, continuing to do those things when you don't want to. I've been sick,

00:13:12.460 I've been tired, I've been down, I've been depressed. And yet here I am standing behind the microphone

00:13:17.240 every single day. And I've done this for two and a half years, guys. I have not missed knock on wood,

00:13:22.000 but an episode of this podcast for two and a half years. And that kind of discipline and that kind

00:13:29.620 of commitment and that kind of consistency in action is what is required to be a successful

00:13:33.380 entrepreneur. So there you have it guys. That's about seven or eight questions that I went through

00:13:37.720 that I wanted to answer and share with you. I hope you find value from the answers that I gave you.

00:13:43.560 Give me some feedback. Let me know, shoot me a message or a Facebook message or a email and let me

00:13:49.180 know what you think about this. Ask me anything episode. If I get some good feedback, then we'll

00:13:53.500 continue to dabble these in periodically in the Friday field notes. If I don't hear from you at

00:13:57.820 all, I'm going to assume that you're just not interested. So with that said, let me tell you

00:14:02.040 again, the Kansas city meetup is going to be held August 12th, 2017 in Kansas city. Makes sense.

00:14:09.060 And you can learn more about that and register at order of man.com slash event. And also our

00:14:16.160 exclusive brotherhood, the iron council, which you can get the details to all of that, what we're

00:14:20.440 doing, how we're doing it and all the specifics at order of man.com slash iron council. That is all

00:14:25.600 I have for you guys today. If you want me to continue to do this and you have additional

00:14:30.300 questions, whether I feature it here on a podcast or just answer them in one-off questions and answers

00:14:35.200 for you, hit me up on Twitter. You can do that at twitter.com slash order of man. I'm at order of

00:14:41.940 man. So ask your questions there and I will get back to you and we'll see if we can feature you

00:14:46.520 on a Friday field notes in the future. Guys, that's all I have for you today. I hope that you

00:14:50.900 have a great weekend, get out there, take action and become the man you are meant to be.

00:15:11.940 Thank you.

00:15:41.940 Thank you for listening to the order of man podcast. You're ready to take charge of your life

00:16:11.460 and be more of the man you were meant to be. We invite you to join the order at order of man.com.

Order of Man - July 21, 2017

FFN 065： Should I focus on Strengths or Weaknesses？

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