Order of Man - September 22, 2017


FFN 074： Overcoming "The Drift"


Episode Stats

Length

11 minutes

Words per Minute

199.06941

Word Count

2,239

Sentence Count

154


Summary

In this episode, Ryan talks about the drift. This is the natural tendency that we have as men to coast and allow ourselves to be controlled and even put ourselves at the mercy of all that life has to throw at us. And unless we re actively engaged in the process of intentionally living our lives, it s very easy for us to get off course.


Transcript

00:00:00.000 You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest. Embrace your fears and boldly chart your own path.
00:00:06.020 When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time. Every time.
00:00:10.440 You are not easily deterred or defeated. Rugged. Resilient. Strong.
00:00:15.500 This is your life. This is who you are. This is who you will become.
00:00:19.760 At the end of the day, and after all is said and done, you can call yourself a man.
00:00:24.720 Hey gentlemen, what is going on today? My name is Ryan Mickler, and I am the host and founder of this podcast, The Order of Man.
00:00:31.260 This is what I consider to be the single greatest podcast available on the planet for men.
00:00:37.220 Of course, I'm biased when I say that, but this is about becoming a better man, guys.
00:00:40.120 This is about reclaiming what it means to be a man from a society that says men are no longer supposed to be or act like men.
00:00:47.480 And we talk about everything from becoming more influential to getting stronger, mental fortitude, building a business.
00:00:54.720 Connecting in a powerful way with your wife, forging strong bonds with your kids, leading a team and a community,
00:01:00.200 and just about everything else that you may want to talk about as a man.
00:01:02.920 And today, we are going to talk about overcoming the drift, which is something all men, including myself, deal with from time to time.
00:01:10.340 I do want to share with you three very quick announcements and resources before we do get into the meat of the show and discussion today.
00:01:16.320 First, I want you to subscribe to the podcast wherever you listen to your podcast so you do not miss a single episode.
00:01:21.980 Now, the reason I want you to subscribe is because I have three very powerful guests coming on in the upcoming weeks.
00:01:28.400 These guys are all New York Times bestselling authors, and I know beyond a shadow of a doubt, you are not going to want to miss a single one of these conversations.
00:01:36.000 So again, make sure you tap that little subscribe button wherever you listen to podcast.
00:01:40.020 Next, and this is going to be a very soft announcement for our upcoming Uprising experience.
00:01:45.380 This experience is designed to push you for three and a half days in the mountains of southern Utah and get you uncomfortable and at the same time equip you with some mental tools and physical tools, skills, tactics to help you step fully into your role as a protector, a provider, and a presider.
00:02:02.180 Now, this is the first time that we are announcing it outside of our exclusive brotherhood, and we've already got this thing 25% full.
00:02:09.080 You do not want to miss this, and it might be a good Christmas gift for you from somebody who cares about you.
00:02:16.320 I'm just putting that out there.
00:02:17.600 So head to orderofman.com slash uprising.
00:02:20.800 You can watch a video over there from our last event and secure your extremely, extremely limited seat for the experience of a lifetime.
00:02:27.780 Again, that's orderofman.com slash uprising.
00:02:30.620 And the third announcement, well, you know what?
00:02:32.880 I'm actually going to wait.
00:02:33.520 I'm going to wait on the third announcement until the end of the show because I do believe it ties in nicely with what I want to talk with you about today, which is the quote unquote drift.
00:02:42.240 What exactly is the drift?
00:02:44.400 This is the natural tendency that we have as men to coast and in a way take our hands off the steering wheel of life and allow ourselves to be controlled and even put ourselves at the mercy of all that life has to throw at us.
00:02:56.140 The fact is that there are forces that are at work against us that keep us from accomplishing what we truly want in life.
00:03:04.060 And unless we're actively engaged in the process of intentionally living our lives, it's very, very easy for us to get off course.
00:03:12.500 So today I want to share with you why this happens, but more importantly, three measures that you and I can take to ensure that we maintain the course that we are meant to, that we have identified as wanting to maintain.
00:03:24.940 Now, the reason I thought this might be something worthy of talking with you about is because I was in my scout the other day and I dropped my comb on the ground.
00:03:33.780 I leaned over for just a minute to pick it up and took my eyes off the road for just a split second.
00:03:38.840 And in that split second, that drift took over.
00:03:42.020 So when I popped my head back up, I realized the drift had caused me to veer over into the left lane.
00:03:47.840 Fortunately, I just made a minor correction and was back on the right side of the road.
00:03:51.420 No one was hurt.
00:03:52.040 I did not run into anything, but it got me thinking about how quickly and easily it is for this drift to take over.
00:03:58.600 In my truck, it could have happened for any number of reasons.
00:04:02.020 The alignment in the truck could have been off.
00:04:03.880 I could have hit a small rock in the road.
00:04:06.620 The slope of the road could have been trailing to the left.
00:04:09.540 The wind could have been blowing me that way.
00:04:11.260 And again, any number of reasons why this drift takes over.
00:04:14.360 So how does this then apply to life?
00:04:17.400 How easy is it for you and I to get off course?
00:04:20.260 It's pretty easy, right?
00:04:21.380 I mean, at first, most of us don't have any direction in the first place.
00:04:24.320 That being the case, the drift doesn't really even apply because you don't know what you're drifting away from or drifting towards.
00:04:31.520 But there's other things that happen as well.
00:04:33.160 Distractions from family and friends, discouragement from those that are closest to you.
00:04:37.440 The fact that you're already so extremely busy that even thinking about adding one more thing to your plate causes you to shut down.
00:04:43.540 And it's paralysis by analysis, even success to a degree can cause drift because you become content with yourself and you ease up, take your foot off the gas and your hands off the wheel.
00:04:52.660 Eventually, the drift takes you down a road you were never interested in going down in the first place.
00:04:56.940 It could be a job that you hate or a relationship that feels like you're living with a roommate.
00:05:01.420 I hear this quite a bit rather than your wife.
00:05:03.560 It could be a lack of connection with your kids, success in areas at the expense of other areas, the things that truly matter to you.
00:05:10.600 These are all symptoms of the drift, which begs the question, how does one, you and me, combat this drift?
00:05:17.820 And I think it's three very simple steps that I wanted to share with you today.
00:05:21.000 The first step is clarity.
00:05:22.660 If you don't know where you want to go, that drift will take hold of you and destroy any chance that you had of thriving in your marriage or your job or your fitness and your life.
00:05:33.860 You have to, at least to some degree, understand what you want in the first place.
00:05:38.920 I know this can be a challenge.
00:05:40.780 It seems to be one of the most frequently asked questions I get.
00:05:44.180 How do I figure out what I want?
00:05:46.800 It's very simple, guys.
00:05:47.840 You ask.
00:05:48.520 Just ask yourself.
00:05:50.020 Ponder.
00:05:50.280 Give yourself margin and space to reflect and think about your life.
00:05:54.300 And remember, here's the deal.
00:05:55.260 You don't have to have it all figured out today.
00:05:57.660 Figure out what you can right now, and then you can refine the focus more as you go.
00:06:01.640 This is not a one-time process.
00:06:03.140 This is a lifetime of refining along this journey that you're on.
00:06:08.740 But to start, I'd recommend focusing on four key areas.
00:06:11.640 The first is calibration.
00:06:13.460 And this is a focus on your mind and your soul and your own personal well-being.
00:06:18.020 Not other people.
00:06:18.800 It's all you right now.
00:06:20.300 And the second is connection.
00:06:21.300 And this is a focus on relationships.
00:06:23.140 So now you move outside of just you into the relationships that you have.
00:06:26.580 Third is condition, which is a focus on your physical fitness, your nutrition, your sleep,
00:06:31.920 your strength, your stamina, your diet.
00:06:34.400 And then the fourth component is contribution.
00:06:36.360 And this is a focus on becoming a man of value.
00:06:39.020 It could be in your career or community service, any number of areas.
00:06:42.200 And of course, this isn't an exhaustive guide to clarity, but it's going to get you started
00:06:46.500 and it's going to get you pointed in the right direction.
00:06:48.200 So now that you have an idea, at least again, to some degree of what you want, you need to
00:06:53.060 build in some accountability.
00:06:54.420 And there's two ways to do this.
00:06:56.300 There's two ways or two tiers or levels of accountability.
00:06:59.540 There's an accountability to yourself.
00:07:01.240 That's the upper tier.
00:07:02.140 And then there's accountability to others.
00:07:03.480 And that's the lower tier.
00:07:04.400 When it comes to being accountable to yourself, we'll talk about that first.
00:07:08.260 You need to create some processes and systems that literally allow you to check off your
00:07:12.600 progress each and every day.
00:07:14.760 You want to check that progress off.
00:07:16.660 I personally use our battle planner, which you can find at orderofman.com slash battle
00:07:21.540 planner.
00:07:22.300 But as long as you have a system for checking your progress, it's fine.
00:07:26.500 Use whatever you can.
00:07:27.680 If you are interested in that resource, it's a leather bound journal that allows you to track
00:07:31.540 your day. It's orderofman.com slash battle planner.
00:07:34.340 Now, when it comes to being accountable to others, I recommend that you build a band of
00:07:38.680 brothers. These are men in your life who have willingly accepted the position of keeping you
00:07:44.140 in check and keeping you on track according to what you have said and the permission that you
00:07:48.740 have given those individuals.
00:07:50.200 Again, this is not an easy or exhaustive guide to making this work, but I want to give you a
00:07:55.300 resource at the end of the show to help you tap into a band of brothers.
00:07:59.100 But in the meantime, you might be interested in my interview with Steven Mansfield on the
00:08:03.200 subject. You can find that again, building your band of brothers at orderofman.com slash
00:08:08.300 076. So now you know what you want. You've got some accountability in place for yourself and
00:08:14.480 from others. Next, you need to be constantly recalibrating during the course of your day
00:08:20.080 and your week and your month and your year. You're going to get off course. It's inevitable.
00:08:24.680 It's going to happen. So you need to have a system in place that allows you to recalibrate
00:08:30.160 or at least adjust along the way. When you notice yourself getting off track in your
00:08:33.980 relationship, what can you do to adjust? When you notice yourself losing control of your health
00:08:39.860 goals, what steps will you implement to get back on track as quickly as possible? And this is done
00:08:45.760 through what I and the military and a lot of actually first responders call an after action
00:08:50.520 review. This is a simple process that you go through at the end of every day, engagement,
00:08:55.580 conversation, encounter, project. It's going to help you identify what you're doing right,
00:09:01.500 what you're doing wrong. And most importantly, and this is key, what you need to do moving forward.
00:09:07.260 So if you want a list of the five questions that I personally go through, head to orderofman.com
00:09:11.740 slash after action review, orderofman.com slash after action review. And you can download those
00:09:17.700 five questions. Remember guys, the tendency that we have to drift is natural. It's inevitable,
00:09:23.380 but allowing the drift to take us somewhere we don't want to go doesn't have to be. So gain
00:09:28.760 clarity, build accountability, and then recalibrate along the way. And you will stay on course.
00:09:33.880 Now I did mention to you, I was going to give you a resource that you can tap to, to avoid the drift.
00:09:38.640 And that resource is our exclusive brotherhood, the iron council. This is a brotherhood of 330 men who
00:09:45.260 have access to the tools and systems to keep them on the course that they've identified as being
00:09:50.460 important to them. We've got the battle planning tool to gain clarity, the accountability in place
00:09:55.000 with a 15 man battle team and tools that allow you to recalibrate when you get off track. We're
00:10:00.160 accepting new members of the brotherhood now, and I want you to join us. You can do that at
00:10:04.360 orderofman.com slash iron council. Again, that's orderofman.com slash iron council. I hope to see you
00:10:10.580 there. Now I know I've given you a lot of resources today. If you are interested, maybe you're
00:10:14.860 exercising or you're on the road and you want the resources I mentioned, head to orderofman.com
00:10:20.280 slash FFN is in Friday field notes, FFN 074. And you can get access to all of that until next week,
00:10:27.440 gentlemen, take action and become the man you are meant to be. Thank you for listening to the order
00:10:31.960 of man podcast. You're ready to take charge of your life and be more of the man you were meant to be.
00:10:37.180 We invite you to join the order at orderofman.com.
00:10:44.860 Thank you.