Order of Man - September 29, 2017


FFN 075： Why Men Fail


Episode Stats

Length

11 minutes

Words per Minute

195.70695

Word Count

2,252

Sentence Count

147

Hate Speech Sentences

2


Summary

In this episode, Ryan talks about the 6 reasons he believes are the most common reasons that keep men from thriving in their careers, relationships, and in their lives as a whole. He also talks about how to overcome these obstacles and find a new path to success.


Transcript

00:00:00.000 You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest. Embrace your fears and boldly chart your own path.
00:00:06.020 When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time. Every time.
00:00:10.440 You are not easily deterred or defeated. Rugged. Resilient. Strong.
00:00:15.500 This is your life. This is who you are. This is who you will become.
00:00:19.760 At the end of the day, and after all is said and done, you can call yourself a man.
00:00:24.720 And what is going on today? My name is Ryan Michler, and I am the host and the founder of this podcast, The Order of Man.
00:00:30.880 Can you believe now that we have been going for just about two and a half years?
00:00:36.460 I can't believe it. I was looking at our numbers, and we have officially done over 200 podcasts now, and I don't have any plans of quitting anytime soon.
00:00:44.280 I hope you're going to be around for a while, too.
00:00:46.200 Of course, you're listening to the Friday Field Notes, which is only half of what we are making available each week.
00:00:51.400 But we've also got an interview show where I interview some incredible men.
00:00:55.640 I get them to divulge just what it is that have made them so successful and then share it with you and the rest of the men of the world
00:01:00.980 so that you and I can replicate the results that these guys are producing in their lives.
00:01:06.340 I will tell you really quickly that if you haven't done this already, you are going to want to subscribe to the podcast
00:01:10.860 so you do not miss a single episode, especially the lineup that we have coming out in the next 30 days or so.
00:01:17.560 Incredible stuff from some truly incredible men.
00:01:20.340 And while you're there, while you're subscribing, please, if you would, leave us an iTunes rating review.
00:01:25.680 I asked some guys in our close Facebook group, which, by the way, if you are interested in that,
00:01:30.100 you can find it at facebook.com slash groups slash order of man.
00:01:33.540 I asked these guys to leave a review, and we got 34 new reviews, but each and every one of these things are read,
00:01:39.540 and each and every one of these reviews count in getting the message and mission into the hands and heads
00:01:46.280 of the men who need to hear what we have to share.
00:01:49.220 Now, today, guys, with that said, I'm going to talk with you about some thoughts and insights I have,
00:01:53.680 as I do in every Friday Field Notes, but this week I'm going to be talking about men and failure.
00:01:58.600 Now, I typically like to frame these types of discussions in a positive light, in a positive perspective,
00:02:03.260 but I do think it's important that we occasionally look at the other side.
00:02:07.500 Most people out there are more than willing to talk about what will make a man a success,
00:02:12.660 and while I agree that's certainly an important subject to cover,
00:02:16.800 I think it's just as important to discuss what's going to keep you and I from accomplishing what we want to accomplish.
00:02:24.560 So, today, in an attempt to keep you from falling into some of the same traps
00:02:28.740 that this humble man has fallen into a time or two,
00:02:31.580 I'm going to share with you six reasons why I believe men fail,
00:02:34.440 why I failed in the past,
00:02:35.560 and in doing so, hopefully help you find a new path to thriving
00:02:39.260 in what we refer to here at Order to Man the Quadrants.
00:02:42.700 So, it's yourself, it's your relationships, it's your health, and your wealth.
00:02:47.440 The number one reason most men fail,
00:02:50.240 and let me just say that these aren't necessarily in any order,
00:02:53.280 this is just what I'm talking about first,
00:02:55.400 but the first reason I wanted to talk with you about is pride.
00:02:59.260 I've talked about it before,
00:03:00.360 but we have been led to believe that if we don't have the answer as men
00:03:05.540 that you are an idiot or you are less of a man,
00:03:09.060 it's unfortunate that's the case because it drives us to go at it alone,
00:03:12.580 to figure out things the hard way,
00:03:14.480 and to struggle when all we really have to do is to reach out to somebody
00:03:18.360 who may know a few more things than we do.
00:03:20.800 And the solution to this is very simple.
00:03:22.680 Just recognize.
00:03:23.740 Simply recognize that you don't have it all figured out
00:03:26.820 and ask for help from somebody who does.
00:03:29.300 So, if you want to get in shape,
00:03:31.280 ask someone what you should do to get in shape,
00:03:34.180 preferably somebody who is in shape.
00:03:36.100 If you want to get a promotion,
00:03:37.800 ask somebody to help you with the project.
00:03:39.740 That's going to help you secure your promotion.
00:03:41.600 If you want to shore up the relationship with your wife,
00:03:44.320 ask somebody who has a great relationship with his wife
00:03:47.300 what you might be able to do.
00:03:49.440 Again, the solution is very, very simple.
00:03:51.380 It's to ask, humble yourself, and reach out for help.
00:03:55.760 Number two, you don't have an information problem.
00:03:58.280 You have what we would refer to as a discipline problem.
00:04:01.760 When I started Order of Man in early 2015,
00:04:04.080 I knew there wasn't a lot of new information
00:04:06.740 that I could share with men.
00:04:08.600 But what I recognized is that information wasn't really
00:04:11.540 and isn't really the problem in the first place.
00:04:13.800 You and I have access to more information in the palm of our hand
00:04:16.920 than the most educated and brilliant minds had 100 years ago.
00:04:21.200 So, again, information is not the problem.
00:04:23.220 Action, or I guess lack thereof, is.
00:04:27.140 And more specifically, sustained action.
00:04:29.660 Motivation doesn't cut it.
00:04:31.440 Accountability doesn't cut it.
00:04:32.780 The only thing that's going to yield the results
00:04:34.960 that you are after is consistent action towards your objective.
00:04:39.600 When that alarm goes off in the wee hours of the morning,
00:04:43.100 it's time to fight.
00:04:44.740 Recognize that.
00:04:45.420 It's time to engage.
00:04:46.420 It's time to battle.
00:04:47.960 And all you need to do is decide.
00:04:50.160 And you need to make that decision every single day,
00:04:52.720 every single morning,
00:04:54.060 every single moment for the rest of your life.
00:04:57.240 It's about discipline to get it done forever.
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00:06:10.960 Now, let's get back to some of my thoughts about why men fail.
00:06:15.160 Number three, fear is your enemy.
00:06:18.100 Now, we've all heard this acronym feared false evidence appearing real.
00:06:22.300 I disagree with that.
00:06:23.780 Fear is real.
00:06:24.720 It's designed to be real.
00:06:26.880 It's designed to elicit a certain response in your body.
00:06:31.480 It's designed to keep you alive.
00:06:33.500 But running from the things that scare you or worse, pretending that that fear doesn't exist
00:06:39.800 is not going to get you closer to your goal.
00:06:42.320 Facing the enemy that is fear will.
00:06:45.280 When you're scared, acknowledge it, recognize it for what it is, and then use that fear.
00:06:50.320 How do we use this fear?
00:06:51.420 We use it to equip and to arm ourselves with the tools and the mindset and the skill set
00:06:58.240 and the resources to look that fear in the eyes and then continue to drive on.
00:07:02.720 It's likely that the thing that you and I fear the most, it's not going to kill us.
00:07:07.220 It's simply going to make you feel a little uncomfortable.
00:07:09.940 Be okay with that.
00:07:10.980 Discomfort is your friend.
00:07:13.160 Fear is your enemy.
00:07:14.940 Number four, acting in your life for acceptance.
00:07:18.040 Acting for acceptance.
00:07:19.160 In my experience, one of the biggest dangers that you and I fall into is trying to be accepted
00:07:24.320 by others, trying to be accepted by everybody.
00:07:27.240 The way that we run our marriages and our businesses and our workouts in our lives is so centered
00:07:34.220 around what other people think of us.
00:07:37.060 I know personally, there have been times in my life where I've wondered whose life am I
00:07:41.380 actually living?
00:07:42.860 And the answer to that question was unfortunately that I was living somebody else's life.
00:07:46.780 We're constantly bombarded by stimulus from magazines and books to even this podcast and
00:07:53.480 maybe even mainstream media, not maybe, we are influenced by mainstream media.
00:07:57.680 And we believe that the way one person does something, whether it's me or anybody else,
00:08:03.620 is the way that you should automatically do it.
00:08:06.480 Add to that the environment of political correctness that we live in and you're likely to withhold
00:08:13.120 the way that you really feel or even alter your message or your actions based on the perceived
00:08:20.140 criticism that you're going to receive from others.
00:08:22.860 If you truly want to thrive, if you truly want to grow, if you truly want to expand and
00:08:27.800 grow and be successful, you'll work on overcoming what other people think about you.
00:08:34.160 Number five, excuses, guys, are lies.
00:08:36.580 Excuses are lies.
00:08:37.740 Regardless of how you choose to paint it, the excuses that you craft are nothing more than
00:08:43.720 cleverly disguised lies.
00:08:45.980 And what's worse is that you've been lying to yourself for so long about whatever that
00:08:51.540 you're actually starting to believe your own BS.
00:08:54.400 When something doesn't go according to plan, I'd encourage you to say, this didn't go well
00:08:59.420 because I did or didn't blank.
00:09:02.960 Now, I know there might be other people that have a part to play in the failure of your objective,
00:09:07.400 but there's nothing that you can do about another human being, only yourself.
00:09:12.100 Stop with the excuses, focus on what you can control and what you can do about your outcomes
00:09:18.140 and you're more likely to succeed.
00:09:19.880 The excuses that you tell yourself lead you into this point I want to make right now.
00:09:24.100 Because you've been feeding yourself lies, it's caused you to stop in your tracks.
00:09:29.500 It's caused you to question your ability to drive on and maybe even your desire to do so.
00:09:34.340 The reason a lot of men fail is because they're so concerned with all the other reasons I shared
00:09:39.000 with you today at the expense, at the expense of the very action that will help them succeed in the
00:09:45.920 first place.
00:09:46.520 If you want to thrive, you need to take action.
00:09:49.480 You're probably going to mess up.
00:09:50.560 Let's be truthful about that.
00:09:51.640 You're probably going to fall short at times.
00:09:54.240 People are probably going to mock you.
00:09:56.120 So what?
00:09:57.040 You can fail at your objective so no one sees you misstep or you can struggle.
00:10:03.060 Struggle for a little while until you're able to achieve what it is you're after.
00:10:07.080 So let's recap these again, guys.
00:10:08.260 There's six of them.
00:10:09.020 Number one, pride comes before the fall.
00:10:11.560 Number two, you don't have an information problem.
00:10:13.880 You have an action problem.
00:10:15.900 Number three, fear is your enemy.
00:10:17.620 Number four, acting for acceptance of others.
00:10:21.400 Number five, excuses are lies.
00:10:24.000 And number six, I just mentioned sitting the sidelines, not taking action.
00:10:28.760 I know these factors, guys, are not easy to overcome.
00:10:31.440 I struggle personally against these things every day.
00:10:34.020 But the times when I've been the happiest and the most successful and the most content in
00:10:38.920 my life is when I've recognized what I'm up against and I've overcome these things anyways.
00:10:43.840 So if you're interested in learning more about how to do this and tap into a band of brothers
00:10:48.360 that will help you do anything but fail, I'd encourage you and even invite you to join our
00:10:54.080 exclusive brotherhood, the Iron Council.
00:10:55.680 This is a brotherhood of 340 men working towards accomplishing big goals in their life,
00:11:01.620 facing the demons and the dangers and the pitfalls that have held them back in the past,
00:11:05.760 and then walking shoulder to shoulder into the battle with men who have their back.
00:11:10.400 You can learn more about what we're doing and join us at orderofman.com slash ironcouncil.
00:11:15.760 Until next week, gentlemen, take action and become the man you are meant to be.
00:11:19.960 Thank you for listening to the Order of Man podcast.
00:11:23.260 If you're ready to take charge of your life and be more of the man you were meant to be,
00:11:27.280 we invite you to join the order at orderofman.com.