FFN 081： Humility is Strength
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Summary
In this episode of The Order of Man, host Ryan Mickler talks about the importance of humility, and why it's one of the most underrated qualities of a man. He also talks about how important it is to be a man of action.
Transcript
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You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest, embrace your fears, and boldly chart
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your own path. When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time, every time.
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You are not easily deterred or defeated, rugged, resilient, strong. This is your life. This is who
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you are. This is who you will become. At the end of the day, and after all is said and done,
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you can call yourself a man. Gentlemen, what is going on today? My name is Ryan
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Mickler, and I am the host and the founder of this podcast, The Order of Man. I do not
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care how long you've been listening and tuning in. I want to welcome you and thank you for
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going on this journey of becoming a better man with me. And that's what we're doing each
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and every week. We've got this show, which is released each Friday, your Friday field
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notes, and we've got an interview show lined up each week with some amazing, amazing men
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who are extremely, extremely successful. Guys like Jocko Willink, Andy Priscilla, Tim
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Kennedy, Grant Cardone, Lewis Howes, so many more. And I've got my interview with John
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Eldridge, the author of Wild at Heart being released next week. So if you haven't already
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done this, make sure that you subscribe so you don't miss John Eldridge or any of the
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conversations that we're having here. Man, I've got to say, I am feeling a little overwhelmed
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with the growth and support that we've been experiencing over the past two and a half years.
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When I started this little project, I had no idea that it would have taken off to this degree
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that it has, but that's a testament to you for tuning in and listening in every week and
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a testament to the power of the message that we're bringing you, which is that of becoming
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a better man. Now, I also am a little overwhelmed with my workload this week, as I'm going to
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be out of town all of next week for a hunt in Texas. It's my very first hunt. I'm excited
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about that. And of course, I'm going to be sharing with you some of the results from
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that hunt. But again, I'm excited about that. But needless to say, I'm trying to cram
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two weeks worth of work into one week. But regardless, I wanted to make sure that I got
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this podcast into your hands as well as next week's podcast, as we have not missed a single
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episode now for over 220 episodes. And I don't plan on missing anytime soon. Now, just a quick
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announcement, something that I've been looking forward to telling you guys about the next
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order of man meetup. Our order of man meetup is available for registration. We're finally
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open. We're going to be hosting this in Nashville. It's going to be Nashville, January
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26th and 27th, 2018 for two days of intense workshops, presentations, activities, panels,
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all of it designed to give you some new tools, resources, guidance, direction, everything
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that you need on your path to becoming a better man. This also happens to coincide with my book
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launch, which is in February. So everybody that attends will get a signed copy of my new
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book at the event. That's going to be an exciting thing. I'm looking forward to that because it's
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going to be the event and kind of like the book launch party. So if you're interested,
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head to order of man.com slash Nashville, that's order of man.com slash Nashville to
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get registered. We are going to sell these things out. So make sure you jump on it as
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soon as possible. Now let's get into the conversation today. There seems to be a growing
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trend in society. I know I have definitely fallen into this trap before, and this is especially
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true in men that somehow arrogance or ego is what makes us strong as men. I get it.
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Looking the part may actually work for a little while, but the damages of an inflated ego last
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a whole lot longer than tricking a few people into thinking that you are better than you really
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are, or you know more than you really do. I see a lot of men who believe that putting on a front
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is strength. I disagree with that. I believe that humility, humility is strength. And what do I mean
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by humility? When I talk about humility, I'm not talking about some self-deprecating belief or
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being timid or passive or weak. That's not necessarily humility. I'm talking about
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a very clear understanding that you don't have to have everything figured out and that you and I both
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have a long, long way to go on this journey. When guys put on a front or a show and they maintain
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their pride and their arrogance and their ego, what they really end up doing is exposing themselves to
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all sorts of blind spots that probably are going to come back at some point to derail them or destroy
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them. You know, you hear a guys all the time who get blindsided with a separation or a divorce
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or a layoff, or they're hit with the news that maybe somebody else got the promotion that you
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were vying for. And I used to think for a long time that these guys were complete morons if they
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couldn't see some of this stuff happening. And while I know, I get it. There's some things that come up
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that you just can't anticipate that are going to be surprises. I can't help but think at a minimum,
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when we do get hit with surprise after surprise after surprise over and over and over again,
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that we've got to at least to some degree be delusional about what's really going on with us
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in our lives and around us. And that's what this false sense of pride and ego and arrogance
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is going to create. It's delusion. It's a false reality about how good we actually are and all the
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wonderful things that we're actually doing in the world. I don't want you to get me wrong here,
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though, guys. It is important that we have pride. It's important that we take pride in what we're
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doing. It's important that we remain confident in our abilities or at least our ability to learn
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something new. But there's a huge difference between being confident and being prideful or
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arrogant or egotistical. Confidence is earned. Arrogance is not. Confidence leaves room for
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improvement. You can still grow and be confident, but arrogance does not leave that room for
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improvement. And isn't that why we're here? I mean, we're here to improve. If that's not why
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we're here, I don't really understand what's the point. One of my favorite quotes is from Epictetus.
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He says, it is impossible for a man to learn what he thinks he already knows. And that's the danger
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in removing humility from your life. You stop growing, you stop advancing, you stop learning.
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So with that said, I want to share with you today three, three very simple steps, tools,
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strategies, whatever you want to call them that you can incorporate into your life right now,
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starting today, starting right now as we finish this podcast to develop more humility. And of
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course, the strength that comes with it in your life. Number one, be curious. The first step to
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becoming more humble is to approach every engagement and encounter project conversation,
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whatever it may be with a level of curiosity. When I started this podcast, for example,
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I thought it had to be done just right. It had to be done just the right way or you or anybody else
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wouldn't even listen in. So I prescripted all of my conversations and all of these Friday field
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notes. But what I didn't realize initially is none of that actually had to be done. I just needed to
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approach the conversations I was having with a curious mind and from the position that I was here
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to learn just as much from my guests as you are. And once I approached these conversations
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with a level of curiosity, I was able to connect in a more meaningful way with my guests.
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I was able to deliver more value to you. And of course, learn a whole lot more than I did when I
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wanted everything to be just right. So I could look the part and everybody could tell me how wonderful
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the podcast was. All right. Number two, asking questions. It seems that more and more asking
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questions has become a lost art. When you refuse to ask questions, you're essentially signaling to
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the world that you have it figured out. There's nothing else to be asked because you know everything.
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I know you don't want to come across as ridiculous for asking a question that doesn't need to be asked.
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We've all asked a dumb question before, but if you don't know, just ask. If you don't know,
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ask for clarification. There's a huge difference between appearing like a moron for
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asking the wrong question than actually being a moron because you refuse to ask a question
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and then you failed in the project or the conversation or whatever. The most powerful
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form of validation in my mind is asking another human being a question. You're telling them and
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complimenting them for knowing potentially more than you do. And it's okay. The most powerful form
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of clarification is asking another human being a clarifying question. The most powerful form of
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communicating with another human being is asking them a question. Don't be above asking questions.
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Just make sure you're using those things to your advantage. And then number three, make sure that
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you're including other people. Those men who are overly prideful and arrogant, in my mind, they have a
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tendency to believe that they're an island and they are above anyone else who may be simply along for
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the ride. Whether you know it or not, you have not achieved any level of success in your life without
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the help of somebody else. Never overlook that. There are countless men and women who have helped me
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and you get to where we are. When I neglect that fact and forget that most of us are here to accomplish
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a lot of the same things, essentially I spit in the face of anyone who's helped me along the way.
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And I'm less likely to have those people and others rally around me in the future. It's
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important to include other people. It is not noble to sit atop a throne by yourself. We live in a time
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where access to information and amazing people is readily, readily available. So make sure you're
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using a team. Now guys, I know that those three steps aren't the only steps that you can take on your
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journey to exercising more humility in your life and in turn increasing your ability to do great
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things, but that's a start. That's a start. Again, it's be curious, ask great questions and
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make sure that you're including other people. If you want to learn more about humility and the
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resources that we have available to help you battle some of that pride and that arrogance and that ego
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that I'm sure you've seen in yourself, I've certainly seen it in myself, then I'd invite you
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to join the Iron Council. Every single week, we're having some incredible conversations that are designed
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to push you. We're doing challenges to help you step outside of your comfort zone. You're going
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to participate in a battle team that will be holding your feet to the fire. Quite honestly,
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it is all a little bit humbling, especially when you get involved for the first time,
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but that humility is exactly what's needed to develop the strength that you need to succeed in
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your life. So if you're interested in joining the battle with us inside of the Iron Council,
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you can do that at orderofman.com slash Iron Council. And don't forget guys,
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our live meetup, January 26th, 27th, 2018 in Nashville. You can get the details and get
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registered at orderofman.com slash Nashville. I hope to see you there and also inside of the
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Iron Council. Until next week, gentlemen, take action, be humble and become the man you are meant
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to be. Thank you for listening to the Order of Man podcast. You're ready to take charge of your life
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and be more of the man you were meant to be. We invite you to join the order at orderofman.com.