Order of Man - FFN 081： Humility is Strength

00:00:00.000 You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest, embrace your fears, and boldly chart

00:00:05.000 your own path. When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time, every time.

00:00:10.440 You are not easily deterred or defeated, rugged, resilient, strong. This is your life. This is who

00:00:17.240 you are. This is who you will become. At the end of the day, and after all is said and done,

00:00:22.800 you can call yourself a man. Gentlemen, what is going on today? My name is Ryan

00:00:27.500 Mickler, and I am the host and the founder of this podcast, The Order of Man. I do not

00:00:32.480 care how long you've been listening and tuning in. I want to welcome you and thank you for

00:00:36.560 going on this journey of becoming a better man with me. And that's what we're doing each

00:00:41.680 and every week. We've got this show, which is released each Friday, your Friday field

00:00:45.040 notes, and we've got an interview show lined up each week with some amazing, amazing men

00:00:49.780 who are extremely, extremely successful. Guys like Jocko Willink, Andy Priscilla, Tim

00:00:54.540 Kennedy, Grant Cardone, Lewis Howes, so many more. And I've got my interview with John

00:00:59.720 Eldridge, the author of Wild at Heart being released next week. So if you haven't already

00:01:03.840 done this, make sure that you subscribe so you don't miss John Eldridge or any of the

00:01:07.400 conversations that we're having here. Man, I've got to say, I am feeling a little overwhelmed

00:01:12.960 with the growth and support that we've been experiencing over the past two and a half years.

00:01:17.360 When I started this little project, I had no idea that it would have taken off to this degree

00:01:21.880 that it has, but that's a testament to you for tuning in and listening in every week and

00:01:26.300 a testament to the power of the message that we're bringing you, which is that of becoming

00:01:30.040 a better man. Now, I also am a little overwhelmed with my workload this week, as I'm going to

00:01:35.760 be out of town all of next week for a hunt in Texas. It's my very first hunt. I'm excited

00:01:39.620 about that. And of course, I'm going to be sharing with you some of the results from

00:01:43.760 that hunt. But again, I'm excited about that. But needless to say, I'm trying to cram

00:01:48.000 two weeks worth of work into one week. But regardless, I wanted to make sure that I got

00:01:54.180 this podcast into your hands as well as next week's podcast, as we have not missed a single

00:01:58.760 episode now for over 220 episodes. And I don't plan on missing anytime soon. Now, just a quick

00:02:04.940 announcement, something that I've been looking forward to telling you guys about the next

00:02:09.660 order of man meetup. Our order of man meetup is available for registration. We're finally

00:02:14.020 open. We're going to be hosting this in Nashville. It's going to be Nashville, January

00:02:17.880 26th and 27th, 2018 for two days of intense workshops, presentations, activities, panels,

00:02:25.940 all of it designed to give you some new tools, resources, guidance, direction, everything

00:02:29.220 that you need on your path to becoming a better man. This also happens to coincide with my book

00:02:35.600 launch, which is in February. So everybody that attends will get a signed copy of my new

00:02:40.940 book at the event. That's going to be an exciting thing. I'm looking forward to that because it's

00:02:44.580 going to be the event and kind of like the book launch party. So if you're interested,

00:02:48.040 head to order of man.com slash Nashville, that's order of man.com slash Nashville to

00:02:52.640 get registered. We are going to sell these things out. So make sure you jump on it as

00:02:56.340 soon as possible. Now let's get into the conversation today. There seems to be a growing

00:03:01.240 trend in society. I know I have definitely fallen into this trap before, and this is especially

00:03:06.260 true in men that somehow arrogance or ego is what makes us strong as men. I get it.

00:03:12.280 Looking the part may actually work for a little while, but the damages of an inflated ego last

00:03:19.100 a whole lot longer than tricking a few people into thinking that you are better than you really

00:03:24.600 are, or you know more than you really do. I see a lot of men who believe that putting on a front

00:03:30.020 is strength. I disagree with that. I believe that humility, humility is strength. And what do I mean

00:03:35.880 by humility? When I talk about humility, I'm not talking about some self-deprecating belief or

00:03:41.780 being timid or passive or weak. That's not necessarily humility. I'm talking about

00:03:46.820 a very clear understanding that you don't have to have everything figured out and that you and I both

00:03:53.180 have a long, long way to go on this journey. When guys put on a front or a show and they maintain

00:03:58.860 their pride and their arrogance and their ego, what they really end up doing is exposing themselves to

00:04:04.540 all sorts of blind spots that probably are going to come back at some point to derail them or destroy

00:04:10.600 them. You know, you hear a guys all the time who get blindsided with a separation or a divorce

00:04:15.580 or a layoff, or they're hit with the news that maybe somebody else got the promotion that you

00:04:20.060 were vying for. And I used to think for a long time that these guys were complete morons if they

00:04:25.800 couldn't see some of this stuff happening. And while I know, I get it. There's some things that come up

00:04:30.320 that you just can't anticipate that are going to be surprises. I can't help but think at a minimum,

00:04:35.820 when we do get hit with surprise after surprise after surprise over and over and over again,

00:04:41.520 that we've got to at least to some degree be delusional about what's really going on with us

00:04:47.600 in our lives and around us. And that's what this false sense of pride and ego and arrogance

00:04:53.160 is going to create. It's delusion. It's a false reality about how good we actually are and all the

00:04:58.600 wonderful things that we're actually doing in the world. I don't want you to get me wrong here,

00:05:03.040 though, guys. It is important that we have pride. It's important that we take pride in what we're

00:05:07.720 doing. It's important that we remain confident in our abilities or at least our ability to learn

00:05:12.400 something new. But there's a huge difference between being confident and being prideful or

00:05:18.820 arrogant or egotistical. Confidence is earned. Arrogance is not. Confidence leaves room for

00:05:26.040 improvement. You can still grow and be confident, but arrogance does not leave that room for

00:05:30.740 improvement. And isn't that why we're here? I mean, we're here to improve. If that's not why

00:05:36.260 we're here, I don't really understand what's the point. One of my favorite quotes is from Epictetus.

00:05:41.640 He says, it is impossible for a man to learn what he thinks he already knows. And that's the danger

00:05:47.500 in removing humility from your life. You stop growing, you stop advancing, you stop learning.

00:05:53.520 So with that said, I want to share with you today three, three very simple steps, tools,

00:05:59.240 strategies, whatever you want to call them that you can incorporate into your life right now,

00:06:02.940 starting today, starting right now as we finish this podcast to develop more humility. And of

00:06:07.660 course, the strength that comes with it in your life. Number one, be curious. The first step to

00:06:12.160 becoming more humble is to approach every engagement and encounter project conversation,

00:06:17.380 whatever it may be with a level of curiosity. When I started this podcast, for example,

00:06:21.940 I thought it had to be done just right. It had to be done just the right way or you or anybody else

00:06:27.600 wouldn't even listen in. So I prescripted all of my conversations and all of these Friday field

00:06:32.860 notes. But what I didn't realize initially is none of that actually had to be done. I just needed to

00:06:37.740 approach the conversations I was having with a curious mind and from the position that I was here

00:06:42.920 to learn just as much from my guests as you are. And once I approached these conversations

00:06:47.540 with a level of curiosity, I was able to connect in a more meaningful way with my guests.

00:06:53.360 I was able to deliver more value to you. And of course, learn a whole lot more than I did when I

00:06:58.900 wanted everything to be just right. So I could look the part and everybody could tell me how wonderful

00:07:03.720 the podcast was. All right. Number two, asking questions. It seems that more and more asking

00:07:09.780 questions has become a lost art. When you refuse to ask questions, you're essentially signaling to

00:07:17.640 the world that you have it figured out. There's nothing else to be asked because you know everything.

00:07:22.640 I know you don't want to come across as ridiculous for asking a question that doesn't need to be asked.

00:07:27.800 We've all asked a dumb question before, but if you don't know, just ask. If you don't know,

00:07:33.820 ask for clarification. There's a huge difference between appearing like a moron for

00:07:39.620 asking the wrong question than actually being a moron because you refuse to ask a question 0.58

00:07:44.300 and then you failed in the project or the conversation or whatever. The most powerful

00:07:50.240 form of validation in my mind is asking another human being a question. You're telling them and

00:07:56.720 complimenting them for knowing potentially more than you do. And it's okay. The most powerful form

00:08:03.020 of clarification is asking another human being a clarifying question. The most powerful form of

00:08:10.600 communicating with another human being is asking them a question. Don't be above asking questions.

00:08:18.660 Just make sure you're using those things to your advantage. And then number three, make sure that

00:08:22.920 you're including other people. Those men who are overly prideful and arrogant, in my mind, they have a

00:08:28.880 tendency to believe that they're an island and they are above anyone else who may be simply along for

00:08:35.440 the ride. Whether you know it or not, you have not achieved any level of success in your life without

00:08:41.820 the help of somebody else. Never overlook that. There are countless men and women who have helped me

00:08:46.900 and you get to where we are. When I neglect that fact and forget that most of us are here to accomplish

00:08:52.820 a lot of the same things, essentially I spit in the face of anyone who's helped me along the way.

00:08:57.340 And I'm less likely to have those people and others rally around me in the future. It's

00:09:01.720 important to include other people. It is not noble to sit atop a throne by yourself. We live in a time

00:09:08.040 where access to information and amazing people is readily, readily available. So make sure you're

00:09:14.620 using a team. Now guys, I know that those three steps aren't the only steps that you can take on your

00:09:19.900 journey to exercising more humility in your life and in turn increasing your ability to do great

00:09:25.160 things, but that's a start. That's a start. Again, it's be curious, ask great questions and

00:09:31.000 make sure that you're including other people. If you want to learn more about humility and the

00:09:35.540 resources that we have available to help you battle some of that pride and that arrogance and that ego

00:09:39.900 that I'm sure you've seen in yourself, I've certainly seen it in myself, then I'd invite you

00:09:43.980 to join the Iron Council. Every single week, we're having some incredible conversations that are designed

00:09:49.260 to push you. We're doing challenges to help you step outside of your comfort zone. You're going

00:09:54.200 to participate in a battle team that will be holding your feet to the fire. Quite honestly,

00:09:57.440 it is all a little bit humbling, especially when you get involved for the first time,

00:10:00.960 but that humility is exactly what's needed to develop the strength that you need to succeed in

00:10:07.280 your life. So if you're interested in joining the battle with us inside of the Iron Council,

00:10:11.980 you can do that at orderofman.com slash Iron Council. And don't forget guys,

00:10:17.040 our live meetup, January 26th, 27th, 2018 in Nashville. You can get the details and get

00:10:23.680 registered at orderofman.com slash Nashville. I hope to see you there and also inside of the

00:10:28.640 Iron Council. Until next week, gentlemen, take action, be humble and become the man you are meant

00:10:33.940 to be. Thank you for listening to the Order of Man podcast. You're ready to take charge of your life

00:10:39.420 and be more of the man you were meant to be. We invite you to join the order at orderofman.com.

00:10:47.040 Thank you.

Order of Man - November 10, 2017

FFN 081： Humility is Strength

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