Order of Man - January 19, 2018


FFN 091： A Crash Course in Confidence

Topics
confidence confidence development confidence building
Hosted by
Ryan Michler
Mentioned
Andy Frisilla Jocko Willink Grant Cardone Aubrey Marcus Brett McKay
148： True Transformation Through Exercise and Nutrition ｜ Josiah Novak 149： Purpose-Driven Entrepreneurship ｜ Pete Roberts

Episode Stats


Length

10 minutes

Words per minute

196.6

Word count

2,020

Sentence count

109

Harmful content

Toxicity

3

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode of the Friday Field Notes podcast, Ryan Michler talks about what it means to be a man in a society that seems to have distorted it quite a bit and frankly, dismissed it for far too long. He also gives you a crash course in confidence.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Topics generated with Qwen2.5-3B-Instruct.
Hosts, guests, and mentioned names generated with spaCy (en_core_web_sm), reconciled against Wikidata.
00:00:00.000 You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest. Embrace your fears and boldly chart your own path.
00:00:06.020 When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time. Every time.
00:00:10.440 You are not easily deterred or defeated. Rugged. Resilient. Strong.
00:00:15.520 This is your life. This is who you are. This is who you will become.
00:00:19.760 At the end of the day, and after all is said and done, you can call yourself a man.
00:00:24.720 Gentlemen, what is going on today? My name is Ryan Michler, and I am the host and the founder of this podcast, The Order of Man.
00:00:31.180 I want to welcome you to what I and thousands of men across the planet would consider the best podcast available for men.
00:00:38.200 We're talking about all the issues important to you. Health, relationships, leadership, confidence, which we'll be talking about today.
00:00:44.660 Business, finances, anything else that may pertain to you as a man.
00:00:48.040 Now, today is our Friday Field Notes, where you get to listen to me for the next, I don't know, 10 or 15 minutes or so.
00:00:52.940 But if you don't already know, we also have an interview show where we are interviewing the world's most successful men on every front.
00:00:59.560 These are guys like Brett McKay, Andy Frisella, Jocko Willink, Grant Cardone, Aubrey Marcus, and of course, so many more.
00:01:06.580 So if you haven't already subscribed, I would encourage you to go ahead and get that taken care of right now.
00:01:12.300 Just subscribe right now. And if you would, please, please, while you're there, leave us an iTunes rating and review.
00:01:17.180 This goes such a long way in helping us spread the mission of the Order of Men, which I know a lot of you know by now is to reclaim what it means to be a man in a society that seems to have distorted it quite a bit and frankly, just dismissed it for far too long.
00:01:32.680 Now, I only have a couple of quick announcements before I give you a crash course in confidence today.
00:01:37.840 First, if you would, make sure that you get your ticket to the Order of Men meetup.
00:01:42.520 We've got six seats left. That's it. Six seats left.
00:01:45.640 It's going to be held January 26th, 27th, 2018.
00:01:48.740 So just in the next couple of weeks here, we've got 75 men coming in from all over the country for brotherhood and camaraderie and the tools and the insights and the resources we're providing.
00:01:59.140 And then, of course, the connections to help you on your journey to become a better protector, a better provider and a better presider.
00:02:05.180 You can register for the event at orderofman.com slash Nashville.
00:02:09.340 But again, do it quickly since we only have those six seats left.
00:02:13.160 And the other announcement, the book, guys, is hitting the shelves on February 1st.
00:02:17.420 It's titled Sovereignty, the Battle for the Hearts and Minds of Men.
00:02:20.540 And I could not be more excited about the way this thing turned out.
00:02:24.120 My publisher sent it to me.
00:02:25.320 The interior, the exterior, it's beautiful.
00:02:28.720 And I hope that the words match the cover and the interior and the way it's laid out and the design work.
00:02:33.720 You guys are going to be proud to hold this book and, of course, the message within the book itself.
00:02:37.940 There have been a handful of people who have read it, and I'm absolutely blown away.
00:02:41.400 I'm humbled with and by the feedback that we've received so far.
00:02:44.560 And I know it's going to change men's lives, which in turn will change the lives of families and neighborhoods and businesses, communities.
00:02:51.680 So with that said, if you are going to be at the meetup in Nashville, you are going to get a signed copy of the book before it's even available to the public.
00:03:00.540 If not, you're going to have to wait a couple more days until it is available.
00:03:03.900 But in the meantime, head to orderofman.com slash book, orderofman.com slash book to download the introductory chapter.
00:03:10.680 And then you'll be signed up to be notified when the book is available.
00:03:14.480 All right, enough of that.
00:03:15.800 Let's get into the conversation today on the topic of confidence.
00:03:19.180 Just so you know, a lot of these topics and conversations on the Friday Field Notes come from the discussions happening inside the closed Facebook group, which you can join at facebook.com slash groups slash order of man.
00:03:31.020 Now, one topic that I see talked about more than just about any other is that of building confidence.
00:03:36.740 It seems that more and more men are lacking the confidence they desire in their lives.
00:03:41.940 I think there's a lot of reasons for this.
00:03:43.340 So today, I thought I'd share with you why we seem to be experiencing more of that.
00:03:48.340 And then, of course, give you some very quick and actionable tips in order to develop confidence.
00:03:52.720 And of course, the results, the results that stem from it.
00:03:56.500 More than anything, guys, we've got to understand that you are not entitled to confidence.
00:04:01.420 I know you may think that you know that, but it's amazing to me how many men seem to think that confidence is something other people are just born with and that some men just inherently have some level of confidence.
00:04:13.760 I think there's probably some truth to that.
00:04:15.780 Some men are probably born with a predisposition to be more confident in their lives.
00:04:19.700 But I believe the bigger variable, the bigger variable here to building and developing confidence is the ability to take action despite your fear.
00:04:30.100 See, it's my belief that confidence is the natural byproduct of action.
00:04:36.260 A lot of guys seem to think it's the confidence that comes first.
00:04:40.020 It's not.
00:04:40.780 It's courage.
00:04:41.700 In order to foster confidence in your life, you need to display courage to take action.
00:04:48.400 Nothing more, nothing less.
00:04:50.980 You know, men will ask, how do I get more confident around women?
00:04:53.200 Or how do I gain confidence in my ability to start a business or ask for a promotion or take calculated risks or just confidence in myself?
00:05:01.740 And the answer is that confidence is earned.
00:05:05.520 It's earned by taking part in the very activity that you lack confidence in.
00:05:10.680 So if you want to gain confidence with women, you need to spend more time with women.
00:05:15.120 If you want to gain confidence in your ability to start a business,
00:05:18.400 you need to start a business and ask for people to do business with you.
00:05:23.460 It's going to be awkward at first. 0.99
00:05:25.000 Of course, you're going to look a little foolish. 0.98
00:05:27.000 But remember, the guys who have confidence have already gone through that stage. 0.98
00:05:31.260 It's a mistake to believe that they haven't gone through that.
00:05:34.900 I remember going into the gym, for example, the first time in probably five or six years.
00:05:39.600 I still have the pictures to prove it.
00:05:42.200 In fact, you know, I was so hesitant to go in because I knew I knew how bad it had gotten.
00:05:47.660 And I thought people were going to laugh at me or think less of me or whatever lies, whatever lies that I have conjured up to keep myself comfortable, to keep myself complacent.
00:05:57.880 But I went anyways.
00:05:59.100 I put all that fear aside because what I wanted, which was to be in shape, was more important to me at that point than the embarrassment of stepping into the gym for the first time in years.
00:06:10.580 So you've got to ask yourself, how badly do you want it?
00:06:13.900 If the answer is, I want it badly, then you've got to be willing to put that fear aside.
00:06:18.040 Recognize that it's going to be a little bit uncomfortable, maybe a lot uncomfortable, and take pride in the fact that you did it anyways.
00:06:26.520 And then that pride of overcoming what you resisted doing is what fosters confidence in your ability to go back at it again tomorrow and the next day and the next and the next.
00:06:37.000 The biggest hurdle I had to overcome in my desire to be more confident was this natural tendency that we all have to choose the easy path.
00:06:44.500 And not that doing things the easy way is wrong, but when you're faced with two choices, the status quo or pushing yourself outside of your comfort zone, the only way to build the confidence you want is to choose, choose to step outside of your comfort zone.
00:07:00.240 Don't lie to yourself and think it should be easy or dismiss another man's confidence as something that guy just inherently has recognize that it's hard.
00:07:09.680 Recognize that building confidence takes effort, not just for you, but for everyone and face that reality.
00:07:18.700 Then you consciously make a choice.
00:07:21.880 One of the things I ask when I'm facing difficult work or circumstances is will the action I'm about to take help me or hinder me on my path to become a better man?
00:07:33.620 It's a great question to ask yourself.
00:07:35.580 If you want a promotion, ask yourself if asking for that said promotion will help or hinder you.
00:07:42.340 If you want a date, ask yourself if asking for that date will help you or hinder you.
00:07:48.000 If you want to be more confident with your fitness, just ask yourself if going to the gym is going to help or hinder you.
00:07:54.720 If you want to be more confident with other people, ask yourself if going to that networking event is going to help you or hinder you.
00:08:02.000 Then you act accordingly in spite of your uneasiness and in spite of your fear
00:08:07.080 Gentlemen, I know that it's not easy. I was not confident in myself for a lot of years
00:08:12.700 It's not something where you can simply flip a switch. It takes years of effort
00:08:16.800 It's almost like that adage what came first the chicken or the egg
00:08:20.900 You may not have the confidence now
00:08:23.600 But you don't need it right now. You don't need the confidence right now. What you need is courage
00:08:28.300 Courage the courage to act in spite of the feelings that have been keeping you back for so long
00:08:35.360 Only when you're courageous enough to take bold action
00:08:39.100 Have you earned and have the right to that confidence that comes with it?
00:08:44.500 So guys as I sign out today, please if you would do this send me a message
00:08:48.580 Tag me on instagram tag me on facebook or twitter with your post about the things that you are doing
00:08:53.940 To build more confidence in your life. It's about doing it's about the action of courage
00:08:58.700 I love seeing these success stories and watching you men do what is required of you
00:09:03.100 It's inspiring to me
00:09:04.580 And it goes a long way on my own personal journey to become a better man
00:09:08.640 Now guys remember again as we wind down today six spots left for the event in nashville
00:09:13.640 That's on the 26th and 27th 2018 of this month january
00:09:17.780 You can get registered at order of man.com slash nashville and then the book
00:09:21.660 That will be available in a few weeks february 1st
00:09:24.300 Which you can get the introductory chapter at order of man.com slash book until next week gentlemen take action
00:09:30.160 Build confidence and become the man you are meant to be. Thank you for listening to the order of man podcast
00:09:37.220 You're ready to take charge of your life and be more of the man you were meant to be
00:09:41.240 We invite you to join the order at order of man.com
00:09:47.780 You're ready to join the order of man.com
00:09:49.800 You're ready to join the order of man.com
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00:09:51.820 You're ready to join the order of man.com
00:09:52.180 You're ready to join the order of man.com
00:09:53.520 And if you join the order of man.com
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00:09:55.520 Thanks dean Sensите
00:09:56.280 For about professional support
00:10:01.440 You're ready to join the order of man.com
00:10:01.880 We'll Michigan
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