Order of Man - January 26, 2018


FFN 092： The Myth of "Toxic Masculinity"


Episode Stats

Length

10 minutes

Words per Minute

182.28223

Word Count

1,845

Sentence Count

134

Misogynist Sentences

3

Hate Speech Sentences

2


Summary

In this episode, Ryan discusses a term that seems to be thrown around more and more these days that paints a very inaccurate picture of what it means to be a man. He argues that the term "toxic masculinity" paints a false picture of the state of masculinity in the world today.


Transcript

00:00:00.000 You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest. Embrace your fears and boldly chart your own path.
00:00:06.020 When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time. Every time.
00:00:10.440 You are not easily deterred or defeated. Rugged. Resilient. Strong.
00:00:15.500 This is your life. This is who you are. This is who you will become.
00:00:19.760 At the end of the day, and after all is said and done, you can call yourself a man.
00:00:24.720 Hey, gentlemen. What is going on today? My name is Ryan Michler, and I am the host and the founder of this podcast, The Order of Men.
00:00:31.160 I want to welcome you today. Whether you've been tuning in for months or years or this is your first episode,
00:00:37.580 guys, this is a show dedicated to helping you become a better man in every facet of your life,
00:00:42.780 from family to business to community service to your health and relationships, wealth, everywhere in between.
00:00:49.380 I've got some really interesting thoughts for you today regarding a term that seems to be thrown around more and more
00:00:54.260 that, frankly, just isn't true, and it ends up painting an inaccurate picture about what's really going on
00:00:59.460 with the state of masculinity in the world today.
00:01:02.440 But before I get into that, I do want to let you know the time is nearly here.
00:01:06.720 Next week is the release of my first book.
00:01:10.140 I don't know why I keep calling it my first book.
00:01:12.560 I have no intention of writing a second book right now after the process I just went through,
00:01:16.540 but maybe subconsciously I've got another one in me.
00:01:20.120 Regardless, the book is called Sovereignty, The Battle for the Hearts and Minds of Men,
00:01:23.920 and it is going to be a powerful, powerful tool in countless men's lives for reclaiming all the power
00:01:30.460 they've given to their bosses, employers, governments, organizations, spouses,
00:01:35.720 and I can't even begin to describe how excited I am about it.
00:01:39.520 And if you're interested, you will need to head to orderofman.com slash book
00:01:43.680 to be notified when it goes live on February 1st.
00:01:47.600 Again, that's orderofman.com slash book.
00:01:49.740 And while you're there, you can download the introductory chapter for free.
00:01:54.360 Outside of that, guys, I do want to let you know that this show is sponsored by Health IQ.
00:01:58.660 We've done a little work with them in the past.
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00:02:01.800 They help you and other health conscious people, runners, cyclists, weightlifters,
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00:02:09.380 I actually used to be a life insurance agent, so I know how expensive life insurance can be.
00:02:13.420 But unlike a lot of these companies where you end up subsidizing those who are not as healthy as you are,
00:02:19.420 Health IQ uses data and they're using science.
00:02:22.460 They get you lower rates on your life insurance, again, for health conscious people.
00:02:25.820 In fact, over 50% of their customers save up to 33% on their life insurance.
00:02:31.260 You know as well as I do that physically active people are healthier in general.
00:02:35.140 And some stats that I saw, they have 56% lower risk of heart disease, 20% lower risk of cancer,
00:02:41.080 58% lower risk of diabetes compared to, again, people who are inactive.
00:02:45.580 So like saving money on your car insurance for being a good driver,
00:02:49.580 Health IQ is going to save you money on your life insurance for living that health conscious lifestyle that a lot of you are.
00:02:55.660 You can learn more and get your free quote at healthiq.com slash order of man.
00:03:01.000 Healthiq.com slash order of man.
00:03:03.760 And no announcements other than that today, I do want to get into this message.
00:03:07.820 Again, there's a term that's being tossed around these days.
00:03:10.160 That's really been bothering me.
00:03:11.440 The more and more I think about it, the term is toxic masculinity.
00:03:15.140 And the reason that this term bothers me is because frankly, it just doesn't exist.
00:03:19.780 It's not real.
00:03:21.240 And to perpetuate the term, I think is to do injustice to what it means to be a man in the first place,
00:03:26.520 which is probably why it's pushed with such a heavy hand.
00:03:29.320 I think there's this growing movement to undermine masculinity.
00:03:33.280 And the term toxic masculinity and others like it is just one way to spread the propaganda that somehow masculinity is bad or evil or toxic.
00:03:44.300 And it just isn't the case.
00:03:46.780 Masculinity by its very nature is good.
00:03:50.280 It's strong.
00:03:51.420 It's assertive.
00:03:52.540 It's productive.
00:03:53.740 It's caring.
00:03:54.980 It's compassionate.
00:03:55.780 It's charitable.
00:03:56.380 And I'd even go so far as to say it's loving.
00:04:00.180 Look, a situation or a man can either be toxic or masculine.
00:04:04.280 Not both.
00:04:05.280 The term toxic masculinity would be like saying it's light outside, but kind of dark.
00:04:10.400 Or my boss is a really nice jerk.
00:04:13.920 Or that guy is really wealthy, but in a poor kind of way.
00:04:17.700 These are polar opposite terms and cannot possibly work in harmony or unison.
00:04:24.400 Now, sure, all men have the capacity to be both.
00:04:28.200 I've been an arrogant, prideful a-hole at times in my life.
00:04:31.820 And separately, I've used masculine virtues to create productive outcomes for myself and those around me.
00:04:38.080 But never once have I displayed quote-unquote toxic behavior while simultaneously utilizing my masculine virtues.
00:04:46.380 They don't work together.
00:04:48.420 And besides, toxicity is gender neutral.
00:04:51.420 It's neither masculine nor feminine.
00:04:53.760 If it were, the term toxic femininity would also be used.
00:04:57.940 But it isn't.
00:04:59.200 A woman who is overly caring, kind, and compassionate to a fault wouldn't be considered toxic.
00:05:06.000 She would most likely be considered naive.
00:05:09.560 Not even the behavior of third-wave feminists is considered toxic femininity.
00:05:15.640 I would consider many of the rants and ideologies as bitter and resentful and angry.
00:05:20.460 But I would not categorize some of the behavior I've seen as feminine at all.
00:05:24.500 I can hear the naysayers now.
00:05:26.320 Ryan, what about these macho guys that go around treating everyone like garbage and manipulating them to get what they want?
00:05:31.660 Yeah, what about them?
00:05:32.900 That isn't masculine behavior.
00:05:34.420 It's childish and potentially evil, but certainly not masculine.
00:05:39.580 And I've had other people say, well, I guess it depends on how you define masculinity.
00:05:43.800 And I suppose that's true.
00:05:45.600 But no one in their right mind would define masculinity as bad.
00:05:49.780 And I guess that's kind of the problem, isn't it?
00:05:52.940 I mean, many people believe that masculinity by its very nature is not good for society.
00:05:58.180 To hammer the point home, these people are not in their right mind.
00:06:01.580 They're damaged.
00:06:02.860 I don't say that to antagonize or belittle them, but to paint the picture that these people have been hurt physically, mentally, emotionally, or they've seen others hurt.
00:06:13.060 And in order to protect themselves from future pain, they've created a false reality that all men, not just the ones who hurt them, are bad.
00:06:21.840 But let me explain something that many people seem to overlook.
00:06:25.520 Correlation does not equal causation.
00:06:28.000 Just because an evil individual happens to be male does not make all males inherently evil or only males evil.
00:06:36.900 That sounds absurd even when saying it, but there's thousands and thousands, if not millions of people who believe they are.
00:06:44.560 So I hope by this point, we're all on the same page here because it's critical that we as men unite in an effort to share with the world all the good that is masculinity.
00:06:52.700 We have allowed a few, a few to damage the very idea of masculinity for all of us.
00:06:58.840 So how do we do this?
00:07:00.340 Very simply, guys, it starts with you.
00:07:02.480 It starts with the way that you show up in your family, in your business, your community.
00:07:06.180 The fact is there's people out there looking at you and watching you.
00:07:11.300 They're modeling your behavior and then they're framing their opinions based on how you as a man interact with the world.
00:07:18.340 The way we reclaim what it is to be a man is to behave like the men that we're capable of being and to show our families and our employees and our neighbors how righteous and honorable men step up to serve others.
00:07:31.860 Service is the foundation of what it means to be a man.
00:07:36.040 Protect, provide, preside.
00:07:38.220 All three represent a level of service to others.
00:07:41.640 There's this growing movement to quote unquote redefine masculinity.
00:07:45.900 That's not the problem at all.
00:07:47.060 The problem is that it's already been redefined by those who have either been damaged by men or for whatever reason have created a false reality about the way we as men are designed to operate with our time here on this planet.
00:07:59.700 Masculinity does not need to be redefined.
00:08:02.080 It needs to be reclaimed.
00:08:03.700 It won't be found in the boy who never learns what it meant to be a man.
00:08:07.500 It won't be found in the women who try to teach us what they will never fully understand.
00:08:11.720 It won't be found by the man who has created an unhealthy response to his own life's circumstances.
00:08:19.420 It won't be found by the man who refuses to own his thoughts and his behaviors and his actions.
00:08:24.880 It will be found by you and me, the men who work hard to provide for their families, the man who wakes up early and he stays up late to help his children do their homework, the man who risks his livelihood to create a business that will bring a product or a service and jobs to the marketplace.
00:08:43.480 The man who coaches his children's and community sports teams, the man who helps a neighbor mow their lawn, the man who loses himself in serving and lifting others up.
00:08:55.760 That is what it means to be a man.
00:08:57.820 And that is what we need to reclaim from the boys who disguise themselves as men and those who are out to undermine the value that each and every one of us have the opportunity to provide in our families, our businesses, and our communities.
00:09:13.940 Gentlemen, that's all I have for you today.
00:09:15.880 Please, I ask that you share this message with the world.
00:09:18.820 I think it's a message that represents the vast majority of the way most men and women think and feel.
00:09:23.900 Well, we've been silent for too long and allowed others to dictate what makes us who we are.
00:09:29.400 So share this podcast episode on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, YouTube, wherever you do the social media thing.
00:09:35.860 You can tag me at Ryan Mickler or at Order of Man.
00:09:39.520 You can find this show.
00:09:40.880 Make a link if you would on social media at orderofman.com slash FFN as in Friday Field Notes.
00:09:46.620 So FFN092.
00:09:48.880 Until next week, guys, take action and become the man you are meant to be.
00:09:53.340 Thank you for listening to the Order of Man podcast.
00:09:56.340 If you're ready to take charge of your life and be more of the man you were meant to be,
00:10:00.380 we invite you to join the order at orderofman.com.
00:10:06.300 Order of Man