Order of Man - FFN 093： Men are Providers

00:00:00.000 You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest. Embrace your fears and boldly chart

00:00:05.000 your own path. When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time. Every time.

00:00:10.460 You are not easily deterred or defeated. Rugged. Resilient. Strong. This is your life. This is who

00:00:17.220 you are. This is who you will become. At the end of the day, and after all is said and done,

00:00:22.800 you can call yourself a man. Gentlemen, what is going on today? My name is Ryan Michler,

00:00:27.820 and I am the host and the founder of this podcast, The Order of Men. I want to welcome you to what I

00:00:33.660 would consider the best podcast out there available for men. Of course, I've got a little bit of a biased

00:00:38.840 opinion, but the show is growing each and every week. In fact, just this last month, we had our

00:00:45.000 highest downloaded month to date. That's in over three years. So the message that we're sharing is

00:00:50.740 growing. It's reaching more men. And of course, I'm glad that you're here with us today. This has

00:00:54.780 been an exciting week for Order of Men. Just two or three days ago, it was on the 30th. So that was

00:01:01.660 Tuesday. We released our book, Sovereignty, The Battle for the Hearts and Minds of Men. And guys,

00:01:07.200 it has just blown up since. We've reached multiple number one categories in a very short period of

00:01:13.300 time. And we actually reached as high as number 35, somewhere right in there, in all of self-help.

00:01:19.460 So that's out of tens of thousands of books. So first and foremost, I want to say thank you.

00:01:24.000 If you've bought the book, Sovereignty, The Battle for the Hearts and Minds of Men,

00:01:27.060 I do appreciate that. If you've not done that yet, go ahead and get that taken care of. You can go to

00:01:31.600 orderofman.com slash sovereignty, and that'll take you right to the Amazon page where you can pick it

00:01:36.300 up there. We were getting a lot of great feedback on the book. And then of course, if you would also

00:01:40.580 leave a review on Amazon, that goes such a long way in gaining visibility and getting the book out to

00:01:48.060 the masses. So I appreciate any and all help that you guys have given there. With that said, guys,

00:01:52.560 I don't have a whole lot of announcements for you today. I do want to just get right into this show.

00:01:56.900 And what I thought I would do is actually read you an excerpt from the book, Sovereignty,

00:02:01.000 The Battle for the Hearts and Minds. That way, if I haven't convinced you just yet that you should

00:02:04.340 go out and pick up a copy, hopefully you'll listen to what I have to say and think that actually sounds

00:02:08.580 pretty good. And it will convince you to go out and pick up a copy of the book. Let me just warm

00:02:14.020 things up here for a second before I get into the chapter that I'm going to talk about, which is

00:02:17.920 that of providing. Guys, it is our responsibility as men to be providers. Now, a lot of times when I

00:02:24.240 say that, people will think financial provision. And of course, that has something to do with it,

00:02:28.500 but it's not everything. And at the end of the day, there's so many different ways that we as men

00:02:32.720 will be required and obligated, I believe, to provide for our families, our businesses,

00:02:38.400 our colleagues, our coworkers, our neighbors, our community in general. So again, today,

00:02:42.620 I'm going to read an excerpt from the book on being a provider. I hope you enjoy.

00:02:47.920 Chapter five, provide a man who becomes conscious of the responsibility he bears towards a human

00:02:54.740 being who affectionately waits for him or to an unfinished work will never be able to throw away

00:02:59.840 his life. He knows the why for his existence and will be able to bear almost any how. Victor

00:03:05.980 Frankel. As long as we've been on this planet, it's been up to men to provide for their families

00:03:10.620 and communities. Traditionally, this has been the way of physical provision, whether that means

00:03:14.980 hunting for food to provide life giving sustenance or financially to pay for the roof over our heads,

00:03:20.260 the clothes on our back and the food in our bellies. Modern times have challenged the status

00:03:24.080 quo as more and more women enter the workforce and more and more men choose to stay at home in what

00:03:28.460 was traditionally the women's role in the family and society. Let me be clear because there seems to 0.99

00:03:33.700 be some misunderstanding when I bring up the word provide. Does a man have a responsibility to provide 0.83

00:03:38.940 for his family financially? At the end of the day, I believe that is his responsibility. But I also

00:03:44.540 realize the dynamics of who brings home the bacon and who tends the house and children can vary from

00:03:48.820 family to family. If something other than the traditional roles men and women play works for

00:03:53.000 you and your household, more power to you. That said, there is more than one way to provide,

00:03:57.380 which I'll discuss in the following sections. Financial, mental, emotional, and spiritual.

00:04:02.960 A man's ability and capacity to master each of these areas represents the second point of his mission,

00:04:07.780 provide financial. Let's cover the financial topic because as it stands today, the overwhelming

00:04:13.560 majority of men still provide the financial support to the family. If this does not apply to your

00:04:18.040 situation, I would still encourage you to read this section as it may become your responsibility in the

00:04:22.680 future for any number of reasons, death, disability, layoff, and or divorce. There is a growing and

00:04:28.980 disturbing trend that the number of welfare recipients is increasing and the number of programs

00:04:34.320 available is expanding more on this in chapter eight. Let me be the first to say that I recognize

00:04:39.720 there is a time and a place for these programs, but I also recognize the fraud and blatant scandal

00:04:44.780 that has ripped through these social welfare programs. One of my stepfathers is a private

00:04:49.520 investigator. He was hired by large corporations to investigate workers' compensation fraud. He would

00:04:55.160 routinely come home and show me surveillance videos of quote unquote, injured men fraudulently

00:05:00.700 collecting workers' compensation. These were men who had, for example, broken their backs yet found

00:05:06.600 the time, energy, and physical strength to mow the lawn, do some chores around the house, go on

00:05:11.140 shopping sprees to the mall, and many other activities. Now I realize this one particular example

00:05:16.100 may not be a social welfare issue, rather an insurance issue, but it illustrates the way one man can

00:05:21.880 take advantage of the system in order to live inconsistently with the way in which he was meant to live.

00:05:27.060 Although I do not agree with any man who fraudulently mooches off of any other working man,

00:05:32.740 I can certainly see the appeal. After all, what sounds better than collecting a paycheck while

00:05:37.060 sitting in your basement playing video games and watching all my children infomercials and

00:05:41.580 the price is right or whatever shows air during the day. But as nice as that may sound, the reality

00:05:47.160 is that a man's desire to get something for nothing is at direct odds with his sovereignty. Programs change

00:05:53.040 or go away altogether. The money runs out and or you get caught. A man must resist the urge to get 0.59

00:05:59.240 something for nothing. There is nothing more damaging to the heart and mind of a man than

00:06:03.760 knowing he is not providing for himself and those who rely on him. I remember times in my life where

00:06:09.640 my wife and I were living on credit to make ends meet. We were robbing Peter to pay Paul. Those were

00:06:14.960 some of the most stressful times in my life and times I wish never to experience again. On the other side,

00:06:20.400 we've experienced times of extreme financial abundance in our family. There is nothing so

00:06:24.740 satisfying as coming home from a long week of work knowing that although you're tired, your family and

00:06:30.280 loved ones are benefiting from the result of your labors. To provide financially is the work of men.

00:06:36.000 Unfortunately, there seems to be some confusion about our relationship with money. Money is simply a

00:06:40.980 metric of perceived value. It's not the only metric, but it's a metric. When a man goes to work,

00:06:47.600 his employer pays him based on the value he will provide to the company. When a client hires an

00:06:53.000 advisor, that client is paying based on the perceived value he will receive. This is why it

00:06:58.780 feels so good to make money. It's not necessarily the money itself. It's the value a man brings to the

00:07:04.820 marketplace. If there's one thing we want in this life, it's to be valued. Mental. Outside of the

00:07:11.940 financial provision, a man must also learn to provide mentally for himself and his family.

00:07:16.200 A man's ability to develop the mental fortitude and resilience to lead in times of feast and famine

00:07:21.540 is of the utmost importance. Let's face it. Life is tough. Life can be a challenge. You and your

00:07:27.360 family are likely to run into any number of problems that could derail the plans you have set for

00:07:31.840 yourself. Disability, injury, lawsuit, death, divorce, bankruptcy. Without the mental fortitude to plan for

00:07:39.940 and overcome the events you are likely to experience in your lifetime, you and your family could find

00:07:44.920 yourself in ruin. There have been many times in my marriage when all seem lost. Mortgage payments

00:07:50.200 went unpaid. Tempers flared. Anger and resentment welled up. It's times like these that people will

00:07:55.480 turn to the man for mental guidance and support. Will you break down when all seems lost or will you

00:08:01.040 step up to the challenge? One will never truly know until that day comes. But if you do have a desire

00:08:06.660 to lead your family effectively, mental provision, fortitude, and resilience are musts. What knowledge

00:08:13.340 have you required? What experiences can you draw upon? What is your ability to effectively articulate

00:08:18.420 the vision you wish to cast? These are all ways in which a man provides mental clarity and strength

00:08:24.080 as the head of his house, his business, and his community. Emotional. When I talk about masculinity,

00:08:31.100 the last thing most men would think about is emotion. The lie we've been fed that men are not emotional

00:08:36.320 just isn't reality. Think about the last time you felt something. Pride in your son for scoring the

00:08:41.980 game-winning touchdown. Fear that you weren't going to be able to make a payment on time. Sorrow as you

00:08:46.860 thought about the fight you and your wife got into last night. Emotions are something we all experience.

00:08:51.920 Rather than run from those emotions, a man should strive to understand and regulate them.

00:08:55.880 Unfortunately, most men operate at the mercy of their emotions. As a coach to my children's

00:09:01.240 sport teams for the last four years, I can tell you that I've seen some horrendous behavior on the

00:09:06.000 field by men whom I would otherwise completely respect. I've been guilty of those emotional

00:09:10.720 outbursts as well. But tell me, how does suppressing your emotions at the risk of blowing up at some

00:09:15.860 unknowable future date add to your ability to live in sovereignty? What if instead you chose not to

00:09:22.340 suppress your emotions, but rather to understand them? And just as valuable, understand the emotions

00:09:27.980 of those closest to you. Emotional intelligence is a cornerstone of masculinity. If a man can

00:09:33.760 understand why he feels the way he does, does that not arm him with the ability to do something about

00:09:39.340 it? After all, if sovereignty is the objective, any tool that allows us to achieve more of it is of the

00:09:45.520 utmost importance. People are going to be sad. People are going to get mad. People are going to feel

00:09:51.420 offended and hurt. You will experience these emotions as well. It's okay. It's part of being

00:09:57.120 human. The more you can understand the emotions in yourself and the emotions in others, the better

00:10:03.040 you are able to adjust the way in which you approach any number of challenging scenarios. You are a rock,

00:10:09.760 the rock that many will look to in times of struggle, fear, and sorrow. That does not mean you

00:10:15.480 aren't allowed to display emotions. It means you need to use those emotions as a display of love,

00:10:21.420 guidance, and direction to those who look to you. The less we try to eliminate our emotions and the

00:10:26.920 more we start to decipher and decode what it is they're trying to tell us, the more likely we are

00:10:31.520 to be driven towards action that serves us and others. Spiritual. Whether you're Christian, Catholic,

00:10:38.420 Muslim, Hindu, or Buddhist, I think we can all agree that there is some unknown, unseen force that is

00:10:43.980 greater than the dimension in which we live. It is my belief that unless we learn to tap into this higher

00:10:49.200 power, we severely limit ourselves on the inputs available to live life as a sovereign man.

00:10:55.200 Call it your conscience, your intuition, your gut, Jiminy Cricket, the universe, God, the Holy Ghost,

00:11:00.800 the Holy Spirit, or a combination of them all. This extra sense has the ability to warn you of

00:11:06.320 impeding danger and illuminate a successful path. Most of us, however, live life too full to recognize

00:11:12.400 this power. Think about it. When was the last time you took a break? When did you last have time for

00:11:17.900 any level of reflection in your day-to-day activities? When's the last time you really

00:11:22.140 thought about how your time is meant to be spent? Tell me where in your day do you have the time and

00:11:26.920 margin to tap into this higher power that will allow you to escape the rat race you so desperately

00:11:32.040 want to escape? More than likely, the answer is that there is no time for that. You're always in

00:11:37.620 go mode. So you continue to live life the same way day in and day out for the rest of your life.

00:11:43.660 If we have any hope of tapping into this higher power, regardless of what you choose to call it,

00:11:48.360 we must create space for ourselves to listen, to feel, to hear, and to see.

00:11:54.440 In 2005, I found myself walking into the dusty building in the middle of a compound that was once

00:11:59.380 an Iraqi detention facility. It was my first day on the job and to say most of what ensued in the

00:12:04.240 following months is all a bit of a haze would be a massive understatement. I already mentioned the

00:12:09.620 14 soldiers who lost their lives who were represented on the entry wall of that building.

00:12:13.800 But what I did not mention was that when we returned from our tour, we learned that the

00:12:17.840 unit replacing us had lost 10 soldiers in the first week they were there. A suicide bomber drove a truck

00:12:23.880 to the front gate, maneuvered through the barriers, and detonated his explosive vehicle,

00:12:27.940 killing 10 soldiers guarding the gate to the base. With the loss of life from the unit before us

00:12:32.340 and the unit that replaced us, how was it possible that our unit did not suffer a single loss?

00:12:37.940 What was the difference? What separated us from the unit before and after? We prayed as a unit

00:12:44.180 morning, noon, and night. Our families prayed for us back home. We read scriptures together and we

00:12:49.140 lived our lives and carried out our duties in accordance with the guidance we received from

00:12:52.540 that higher power. The fact that I can't clearly articulate the difference or prove beyond a shadow of

00:12:57.500 doubt the existence of such a power seems to be a problem for many men. We tend to believe that if

00:13:02.620 we can't physically feel it or see it, it must not exist. Instead, we choose to lean only on what we

00:13:08.500 can prove. In addition to that, many men feel like tapping into a higher power makes them subservient to

00:13:13.960 that power. Prayer, meditation, divine guidance, and scripture study, however, do not make you

00:13:19.540 subservient to those things, but rather give you the ability to tap into a power far greater and more

00:13:24.920 powerful than we can understand. That does not weaken your independence. It only strengthens it.

00:13:31.120 The mindset. I am a source of creation, resources, and provision. Men provide, period. We are useful.

00:13:38.900 We bring ideas, thoughts, inspiration, and knowledge to the table. If we aren't willing or capable of

00:13:44.500 doing so, what good is it having us around? Now, some people will hear that and think it's too harsh or

00:13:49.600 doesn't accurately reflect our value in this world. Wrong. Our value in this world is in direct

00:13:55.320 proportion to the value we provide and create. It's what we do. Think about your tendency to offer

00:14:00.860 solutions and solve problems, even when unsolicited. If that doesn't highlight our natural desire to

00:14:06.440 improve our station and the station of those we care about, I don't know what does. Sovereign men

00:14:11.420 don't mind that others rely on us for provision either. Some may think that if the man is the sole or

00:14:16.180 weighted provider of all that is required to sustain a family, business, or a community's way of life,

00:14:21.540 it's somehow unfair. But it's not unfair at all. It's not unfair because we too gain from this

00:14:27.160 arrangement. We gain this sense of pride, satisfaction, and fulfillment that comes from

00:14:31.540 looking at our tribes and knowing they're thriving in large part due to us. I've known men who have been

00:14:37.200 laid off for any number of reasons. It's damaging to a man's psyche. I can see it in his eyes.

00:14:42.440 It's written on his face. I can sense it in his demeanor. When a man is incapable of providing

00:14:48.280 all that's necessary to lead, he loses his sense of purpose and direction. And as a result, the battle

00:14:54.020 for his heart and mind. I've been there. I've been in situations in my life where I knew I was doing

00:14:59.420 and providing less than I was capable of. It's the most demoralizing experience in the world. Being fully

00:15:05.780 capable of providing and producing results in my life, on the other hand, is the most rewarding feeling

00:15:11.420 a man can experience. There's nothing more liberating to the heart and mind of a man than

00:15:16.100 knowing he is enough as evidence of what he alone has created. So there it is, gentlemen. Chapter five,

00:15:24.840 provide from the book, Sovereignty, The Battle for the Hearts and Minds of Men. I hope that you go out

00:15:29.900 and buy a copy. I know that this work has literally transformed my life and everything that I've learned

00:15:34.840 over the past decade of trying to become a better man in my family, in my business, in my community.

00:15:40.040 I've written in the pages of this book. If you are interested in picking up a copy, you can head to

00:15:45.500 orderofman.com slash sovereignty. That'll take you directly to Amazon where you can pick up your copy

00:15:51.420 of the book, Sovereignty, The Battle for the Hearts and Minds of Men. I hope you do, gentlemen. And if you

00:15:55.980 do, please do me and all the men of this world a favor because more and more people need to hear this

00:16:00.900 message. Leave an Amazon review. Let us know what you thought about the book. We want this to be an

00:16:06.060 integrity, obviously. So don't leave a review unless you've read it or a healthy portion of it and know

00:16:11.040 exactly what we're talking about within the book. Again, orderofman.com slash sovereignty. With that,

00:16:17.200 gentlemen, I will sign out for today. But until next week, take action and become the man you are

00:16:23.140 meant to be. Thank you for listening to the Order of Man podcast. If you're ready to take charge of your

00:16:28.340 life and be more of the man you were meant to be, we invite you to join the Order at orderofman.com.

Order of Man - February 02, 2018

FFN 093： Men are Providers

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