FFN 096： 10 Steps to Reclaim Masculinity
Episode Stats
Words per Minute
172.23683
Summary
A man is a protector, a provider, and a presider, but there seems to be a disturbing trend in society that says we are simply not needed. I think we can all agree that we need to reverse this trend.
Transcript
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You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest. Embrace your fears and boldly chart your own path.
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When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time. Every time.
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You are not easily deterred or defeated. Rugged. Resilient. Strong.
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This is your life. This is who you are. This is who you will become.
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At the end of the day, and after all is said and done, you can call yourself a man.
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Man, what is going on today? My name is Ryan Mickler, and I am the host and the founder of this podcast, The Order of Man.
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I'm glad that you're back with us today. I have got an important one for you today, and one that I think definitely, definitely needs to be addressed.
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If you don't know what we're all about here, guys, we're about reclaiming what it means to be a man.
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A man is a protector, a provider, and a presider, but there seems to be, at a minimum, a dismissal of men in society today.
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And my job is to take the fight to the masses and let the world know that we as men are needed now more than ever.
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And I can't do that without you guys. It's incredible to me that hundreds of thousands of men are showing up each and every month to listen to this message on the podcast.
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But gentlemen, we need more. We need millions and millions of men across the planet engaged.
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So I ask that you please share this podcast with the world so they know there is somewhere, a place of reason and sanity where we can talk about the things that matter most to us.
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Obviously, with this podcast, you get to listen to me each week, but I'm also interviewing the world's most successful men that I can find and working on unpeeling what makes them so successful so we can show up more fully for ourselves, our families, and our communities.
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Now, guys, just two very quick announcements before I get into the discussion today.
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First, if you don't already know about it, we have our third uprising.
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Our third uprising taking place on May 3rd through the 6th, 2018, just around the corner here.
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This is a three and a half day experience in the mountains of Southern Utah.
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We're going to be competing against each other in a series of obstacles, challenges, and trials.
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It's all designed to push you and test you physically, mentally, and emotionally.
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So make sure if you haven't checked it out that you go to orderofman.com slash uprising, orderofman.com slash uprising.
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As of right now, we only have 10 spots left, and I know we're going to sell this thing out.
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And second, guys, if you're not following me on Instagram yet, make sure that you are.
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I am doing a lot more on my personal profile, which is at Ryan Mickler, at Ryan Mickler.
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Now, the reason I share this with you is because the topic of today, the discussion that I want
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to have with you today, I had actually made a post last week or so on my Instagram profile
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about reversing this trend of masculine dismissal.
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I think that we can all agree that men and masculinity are on the defensive.
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There is a disturbing trend in society that says we are simply not needed.
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And I think you could agree with me that this could not be further from the truth, but
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unfortunately, it seems like it always takes something catastrophic to happen before society
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as a whole realizes the value of strong and noble men.
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But I'm not interested in waiting until that happens because I believe, as I said earlier,
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part of our job as men is to provide, even if it isn't all that appreciated.
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Unfortunately, we'll continue to see the ramifications of a lack of men and a lack of masculinity.
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It's suicide rates, drug use, violent crime, school dropout rates, child abuse.
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The list goes on and on and on because, because we're lacking true masculinity in society today.
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So guys, in an attempt to begin the dialogue, I'm just beginning the dialogue here.
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This is not an exhaustive list around reversing the trend, but I did want to share with you
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It's 10 steps to reclaiming masculinity, 10 steps to reclaiming masculinity.
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Number one, dismiss the fallacy that men and women are the same.
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It's amazing to me that we even need to have this conversation.
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And this doesn't mean that men are better than women or that women are better than men.
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This debate, if it ever should have been one, has been settled, scientifically settled long ago.
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And it's time that we start playing into those differences rather than pretending that they
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Number two, embrace masculine virtues in ourselves and our boys.
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Toughness, fortitude, dominance, aggression, strength.
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These are all virtues I would consider masculine.
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Does that mean that women can't possess these virtues?
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Men have the capacity for expressing to love, kindness, compassion, empathy.
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That's just to name a few men and women do not have an exclusive right to a set of virtues.
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But we as men, guys, are naturally inclined to lean more towards those masculine virtues
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And I'm going to say this over and over again today.
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It is our job to protect, provide, and preside, which means that these virtues will more likely
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be utilized more often than by that of our female counterparts.
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We should not dismiss these masculine virtues as inherently bad just because a few boys haven't
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Mainstream media would call that toxic masculinity.
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Number three, teach and model accurate gender roles and responsibilities.
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Now, I get a lot of pushback on this one because people say there are no gender roles or gender
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It's very clear to me that we as men are more capable and likely of stepping into the role
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If we don't foster this in our young men and we continue to allow our boys to be raised
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exclusively by women, they will not learn how to harness the biological hardwiring.
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And yes, that is a real thing contrary to what some may have you believe.
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It's the biological hardwiring and it's our responsibility as men to teach both,
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boys, and to foster it in ourselves, how to harness those virtues for the betterment
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Number four, reject the assault and dismissal of masculinity.
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Yes, there are those who are out working hard to reject masculinity and men altogether.
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The quieter we are about this, the more likely we are to allow the loud minority to dictate
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I refuse to sit back and let a group of angry, bitter, and resentful people tell me how valuable
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I, as a man, am in the collective advancement of society.
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And this is why I ask you to share it with everyone that you know.
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We have to reject the assault and dismissal of masculinity.
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Number five, lead our families, businesses, and communities effectively.
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As I mentioned before, we are presiders, which is synonymous with leadership.
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It is apparent to me that men are neglecting the leadership responsibilities inside the
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walls of their homes and their businesses inside of their communities.
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We need to learn how to do it effectively and step into that calling.
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I'm not going to get too far off onto this one because we've talked a lot about leadership,
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but it is our responsibility to lead our families, businesses, and communities effectively.
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Number six, serve the young men in our neighborhoods.
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The amount of young men growing up without father figures is alarmingly high.
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If these boys don't have male influences in their homes, like I didn't have inside of my home,
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they'll never learn how to harness all that makes them male for, again, the betterment of
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This is why it's crucial that we step up to serve our young men, whether it's through
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teaching or coaching, mentorship programs, Boy Scouts, any organization that serves these young
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And as another point of interest, we need to work towards maintaining dedicated programs
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There are plenty of programs out there where boys and girls are together co-ed, but we also
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need to maintain the programs that are working with boys exclusively.
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I mentioned Boy Scouts, Boy Scouts of America has begun to lose its way.
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We must guys, we have to help maintain its integrity or simply find other organizations that will.
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The next one, only have children once we are physically, financially, mentally, and emotionally
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I get a lot of pushback on this because a lot of people will say, if you wait until you're
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I've heard that over and over and over again since making this post a couple of weeks ago,
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You don't need to have everything figured out, but you damn well better be capable of taking
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Sure, there's a lot of amazing and wonderful things that come from raising children, but
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If your mind and your body and your bank account aren't able to support bringing children into
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this world, it's better for everyone to wait until you are mature enough to do so.
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Number eight, commit to our marriages and do everything we can to honor our marital vows.
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Our children guys have the right to be raised by a father and a mother because both bring
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something powerful to the equation that is this family dynamic.
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I understand there's situations in which it doesn't and can't always work out.
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But I urge anyone, anyone that's getting married to think long and hard about their ability
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And also consider whether your potential spouse has the ability to do so as well.
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Fatherless homes, I've said this before, are a plague on society.
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And when you look at the numbers, it's not really hard to see why our youth, especially
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Men, honor your commitments to your spouse or frankly, just don't commit at all.
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Number nine, hold ourselves and our boys to the highest moral and ethical standards.
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There are consequences, gentlemen, for our choices.
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But if we don't live by those consequences and teach our boys to do the same, we will
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continue to see many of the problems we see when it comes to crime rates and violence,
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It's easy to let ourselves and other people, especially the ones that we care about off the
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Hold ourselves and our boys to the highest moral and ethical standards.
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And the last one, the thing I want to finish up with you today is number 10, continue to
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develop the skills and ability to protect, provide, and preside over ourselves and those
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This is a lifelong journey and our progression will never be complete.
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The fact is you are a protector, a provider, and a presider.
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And if you're going to be those things, you might as well be the best.
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Don't neglect those responsibilities that you have.
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Let me break these down just as a recap very quickly.
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Number one, dismiss the fallacy that men and women are the same.
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Number two, embrace masculine virtues in ourselves and our boys.
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Number three, teach and model accurate gender roles and responsibilities.
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Number four, reject the assault and dismissal of masculinity.
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Number five, lead our families, businesses, and communities effectively.
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Number six, serve the young men in our neighborhoods.
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Number seven, have children only once you are physically, financially, mentally, and emotionally
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Number eight, commit to our marriages and do everything that we can to honor our marital vows.
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Number nine, hold ourselves and our boys to the highest moral and ethical standards.
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And number 10, continue to develop the skills and ability to protect, provide, and preside
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over ourselves and those that we have a responsibility for.
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It's not an exhaustive list, but it's going to get the dialogue started.
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So to that end, I ask if you would, if you got value from this, if you agree with this,
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But I think this is the discussion that needs to be had.
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And more importantly, we need to be implementing these 10 steps into our lives and the lives
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of the boys that we have an obligation to raise up as the next generation.
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Guys, with that, let me just remind you of the couple of quick announcements that I shared
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Number one, the uprising, a three and a half day experience in the mountains of Southern
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We do the three and a half days of tests and challenges and trials physically, mentally,
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We give you a new framework for the way that you're going to operate your life as a husband
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and a father and a business owner and a community leader.
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And then we take you back down to Las Vegas and send you on your way.
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So that's held again, May 3rd through the 6th, 2018.
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Outside of that guys, connect with us on social media at order of man, wherever you do the social
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Again, it's Ryan, R-Y-A-N Mickler, M-I-C-H-L-E-R on Instagram.
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We need to continue to grow this army of men who want to step into the role and calling
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And I'm honored to be standing shoulder to shoulder with you on this journey.
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Until next week, take action and become the man you are meant to be.
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Thank you for listening to the Order of Man podcast.
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You're ready to take charge of your life and be more of the man you were meant to be.
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We invite you to join the order at orderofman.com.