Order of Man - FFN 096： 10 Steps to Reclaim Masculinity

00:00:00.000 You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest. Embrace your fears and boldly chart your own path.

00:00:06.020 When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time. Every time.

00:00:10.440 You are not easily deterred or defeated. Rugged. Resilient. Strong.

00:00:15.500 This is your life. This is who you are. This is who you will become.

00:00:19.760 At the end of the day, and after all is said and done, you can call yourself a man.

00:00:24.720 Man, what is going on today? My name is Ryan Mickler, and I am the host and the founder of this podcast, The Order of Man.

00:00:31.620 I'm glad that you're back with us today. I have got an important one for you today, and one that I think definitely, definitely needs to be addressed.

00:00:38.780 If you don't know what we're all about here, guys, we're about reclaiming what it means to be a man.

00:00:43.820 A man is a protector, a provider, and a presider, but there seems to be, at a minimum, a dismissal of men in society today.

00:00:51.240 And my job is to take the fight to the masses and let the world know that we as men are needed now more than ever.

00:00:58.520 And I can't do that without you guys. It's incredible to me that hundreds of thousands of men are showing up each and every month to listen to this message on the podcast.

00:01:07.500 But gentlemen, we need more. We need millions and millions of men across the planet engaged.

00:01:13.320 So I ask that you please share this podcast with the world so they know there is somewhere, a place of reason and sanity where we can talk about the things that matter most to us.

00:01:24.340 Obviously, with this podcast, you get to listen to me each week, but I'm also interviewing the world's most successful men that I can find and working on unpeeling what makes them so successful so we can show up more fully for ourselves, our families, and our communities.

00:01:38.600 Now, guys, just two very quick announcements before I get into the discussion today.

00:01:43.300 First, if you don't already know about it, we have our third uprising.

00:01:47.020 Our third uprising taking place on May 3rd through the 6th, 2018, just around the corner here.

00:01:52.960 This is a three and a half day experience in the mountains of Southern Utah.

00:01:56.300 We're going to be competing against each other in a series of obstacles, challenges, and trials.

00:02:01.480 It's all designed to push you and test you physically, mentally, and emotionally.

00:02:05.780 So make sure if you haven't checked it out that you go to orderofman.com slash uprising, orderofman.com slash uprising.

00:02:13.680 As of right now, we only have 10 spots left, and I know we're going to sell this thing out.

00:02:18.060 I want you to be there.

00:02:19.120 Again, orderofman.com slash uprising.

00:02:21.660 And second, guys, if you're not following me on Instagram yet, make sure that you are.

00:02:26.300 I am doing a lot more on my personal profile, which is at Ryan Mickler, at Ryan Mickler.

00:02:32.540 My last name is spelled M-I-C-H-L-E-R.

00:02:35.700 So make sure you're following me there.

00:02:36.960 Now, the reason I share this with you is because the topic of today, the discussion that I want

00:02:41.060 to have with you today, I had actually made a post last week or so on my Instagram profile

00:02:46.540 about reversing this trend of masculine dismissal.

00:02:51.080 I think that we can all agree that men and masculinity are on the defensive.

00:02:56.280 There is a disturbing trend in society that says we are simply not needed.

00:03:01.120 And I think you could agree with me that this could not be further from the truth, but

00:03:06.460 unfortunately, it seems like it always takes something catastrophic to happen before society

00:03:12.060 as a whole realizes the value of strong and noble men.

00:03:17.060 But I'm not interested in waiting until that happens because I believe, as I said earlier,

00:03:20.840 part of our job as men is to provide, even if it isn't all that appreciated.

00:03:25.460 And most of the times it isn't.

00:03:27.200 Unfortunately, we'll continue to see the ramifications of a lack of men and a lack of masculinity.

00:03:35.080 It's suicide rates, drug use, violent crime, school dropout rates, child abuse.

00:03:40.400 The list goes on and on and on because, because we're lacking true masculinity in society today.

00:03:47.140 So guys, in an attempt to begin the dialogue, I'm just beginning the dialogue here.

00:03:51.460 This is not an exhaustive list around reversing the trend, but I did want to share with you

00:03:58.120 this post I made on Instagram.

00:03:59.440 It's 10 steps to reclaiming masculinity, 10 steps to reclaiming masculinity.

00:04:04.900 And here they are.

00:04:06.140 Number one, dismiss the fallacy that men and women are the same.

00:04:11.240 Men and women are not the same period. 0.95

00:04:14.120 It's amazing to me that we even need to have this conversation.

00:04:17.100 And this doesn't mean that men are better than women or that women are better than men.

00:04:22.140 It simply means that we're different.

00:04:23.720 That's all.

00:04:24.640 This debate, if it ever should have been one, has been settled, scientifically settled long ago.

00:04:31.920 I cannot say it more plainly than that.

00:04:34.360 We are different.

00:04:35.660 And it's time that we start playing into those differences rather than pretending that they

00:04:39.520 don't exist.

00:04:40.920 Number two, embrace masculine virtues in ourselves and our boys.

00:04:46.560 Grit.

00:04:47.380 Toughness, fortitude, dominance, aggression, strength.

00:04:52.240 These are all virtues I would consider masculine.

00:04:55.740 Does that mean that women can't possess these virtues? 1.00

00:04:58.180 Of course, that's not what it means.

00:05:00.480 There are feminine virtues.

00:05:02.220 Men have the capacity for expressing to love, kindness, compassion, empathy.

00:05:07.880 That's just to name a few men and women do not have an exclusive right to a set of virtues.

00:05:12.800 But we as men, guys, are naturally inclined to lean more towards those masculine virtues

00:05:17.640 for good reason, too.

00:05:19.180 It's our job.

00:05:20.020 And I'm going to say this over and over again today.

00:05:21.580 It is our job to protect, provide, and preside, which means that these virtues will more likely

00:05:27.780 be utilized more often than by that of our female counterparts. 0.90

00:05:32.260 We should not dismiss these masculine virtues as inherently bad just because a few boys haven't

00:05:39.880 learned to harness them correctly.

00:05:42.100 Mainstream media would call that toxic masculinity.

00:05:45.060 I did a podcast on that several weeks ago.

00:05:47.900 I call it childlike behavior.

00:05:49.980 Nothing more, nothing less.

00:05:52.220 All right, guys.

00:05:52.600 Number three, teach and model accurate gender roles and responsibilities. 1.00

00:05:58.040 Now, I get a lot of pushback on this one because people say there are no gender roles or gender

00:06:03.960 for that matter.

00:06:04.880 I disagree.

00:06:05.760 It's very clear to me that we as men are more capable and likely of stepping into the role

00:06:12.300 of protector, provider, presider.

00:06:14.600 That to me would be considered a gender role. 1.00

00:06:16.840 If we don't foster this in our young men and we continue to allow our boys to be raised

00:06:22.820 exclusively by women, they will not learn how to harness the biological hardwiring. 1.00

00:06:29.240 And yes, that is a real thing contrary to what some may have you believe.

00:06:35.520 It's the biological hardwiring and it's our responsibility as men to teach both,

00:06:42.300 boys, and to foster it in ourselves, how to harness those virtues for the betterment

00:06:48.220 of ourselves and society as a whole.

00:06:50.840 Number four, reject the assault and dismissal of masculinity.

00:06:55.920 Yes, there are those who are out working hard to reject masculinity and men altogether.

00:07:01.740 The quieter we are about this, the more likely we are to allow the loud minority to dictate

00:07:08.620 the tone of the conversation.

00:07:10.100 I refuse to sit back and let a group of angry, bitter, and resentful people tell me how valuable

00:07:18.120 I, as a man, am in the collective advancement of society.

00:07:22.980 This is why I do this work.

00:07:24.800 I've been doing it for three years now.

00:07:26.540 And this is why I ask you to share it with everyone that you know.

00:07:31.280 We have to reject the assault and dismissal of masculinity.

00:07:35.580 Number five, lead our families, businesses, and communities effectively.

00:07:39.560 As I mentioned before, we are presiders, which is synonymous with leadership.

00:07:44.300 It is apparent to me that men are neglecting the leadership responsibilities inside the

00:07:49.980 walls of their homes and their businesses inside of their communities.

00:07:54.140 We guys are called to lead.

00:07:57.680 We need to learn how to do it effectively and step into that calling.

00:08:01.720 I'm not going to get too far off onto this one because we've talked a lot about leadership,

00:08:05.260 but it is our responsibility to lead our families, businesses, and communities effectively.

00:08:11.900 Number six, serve the young men in our neighborhoods.

00:08:15.480 The amount of young men growing up without father figures is alarmingly high.

00:08:20.640 If these boys don't have male influences in their homes, like I didn't have inside of my home,

00:08:26.600 they'll never learn how to harness all that makes them male for, again, the betterment of

00:08:31.880 themselves and their families and society.

00:08:34.040 This is why it's crucial that we step up to serve our young men, whether it's through

00:08:39.440 teaching or coaching, mentorship programs, Boy Scouts, any organization that serves these young

00:08:45.780 men in our area.

00:08:46.680 And as another point of interest, we need to work towards maintaining dedicated programs

00:08:53.240 to serving boys exclusively.

00:08:55.880 There are plenty of programs out there where boys and girls are together co-ed, but we also

00:09:00.960 need to maintain the programs that are working with boys exclusively.

00:09:05.400 I mentioned Boy Scouts, Boy Scouts of America has begun to lose its way.

00:09:09.900 We must guys, we have to help maintain its integrity or simply find other organizations that will.

00:09:18.040 The next one, only have children once we are physically, financially, mentally, and emotionally

00:09:25.340 prepared to do so.

00:09:27.080 This is another one.

00:09:28.180 I get a lot of pushback on this because a lot of people will say, if you wait until you're

00:09:32.440 ready, you'll never have kids.

00:09:33.820 I've heard that over and over and over again since making this post a couple of weeks ago,

00:09:37.280 but I want you to notice I didn't say ready.

00:09:40.360 I said mature enough.

00:09:42.060 You don't need to have everything figured out, but you damn well better be capable of taking

00:09:46.560 care of the obligation that children are.

00:09:49.000 And they are an obligation.

00:09:50.380 Sure, there's a lot of amazing and wonderful things that come from raising children, but

00:09:55.980 they are an obligation as well.

00:09:58.540 If your mind and your body and your bank account aren't able to support bringing children into 0.99

00:10:04.660 this world, it's better for everyone to wait until you are mature enough to do so.

00:10:11.400 Number eight, commit to our marriages and do everything we can to honor our marital vows.

00:10:16.680 Our children guys have the right to be raised by a father and a mother because both bring

00:10:22.380 something powerful to the equation that is this family dynamic.

00:10:26.560 And I realize I get it.

00:10:28.680 I understand there's situations in which it doesn't and can't always work out.

00:10:33.500 But I urge anyone, anyone that's getting married to think long and hard about their ability

00:10:38.860 to work through the hard times.

00:10:40.480 And also consider whether your potential spouse has the ability to do so as well.

00:10:45.220 Fatherless homes, I've said this before, are a plague on society. 1.00

00:10:49.640 And when you look at the numbers, it's not really hard to see why our youth, especially

00:10:53.640 boys, seem to be struggling so much.

00:10:56.900 Men, honor your commitments to your spouse or frankly, just don't commit at all.

00:11:03.640 Number nine, hold ourselves and our boys to the highest moral and ethical standards.

00:11:09.220 There are consequences, gentlemen, for our choices.

00:11:11.780 You know that.

00:11:12.680 I know that.

00:11:13.480 It's the way the world works.

00:11:14.900 But if we don't live by those consequences and teach our boys to do the same, we will

00:11:20.000 continue to see many of the problems we see when it comes to crime rates and violence,

00:11:26.220 mistreatment of women, failing academics.

00:11:28.960 It's easy to let ourselves and other people, especially the ones that we care about off the

00:11:33.300 hook.

00:11:34.000 But guys, easy does not equal better.

00:11:37.960 Hold ourselves and our boys to the highest moral and ethical standards.

00:11:41.260 And the last one, the thing I want to finish up with you today is number 10, continue to

00:11:46.280 develop the skills and ability to protect, provide, and preside over ourselves and those

00:11:51.760 we have a responsibility for.

00:11:53.060 This is a lifelong journey and our progression will never be complete.

00:11:58.140 The fact is you are a protector, a provider, and a presider.

00:12:03.000 And if you're going to be those things, you might as well be the best.

00:12:05.940 How do you become the best?

00:12:07.300 You practice, you learn, you implement.

00:12:11.080 Don't shirk your responsibilities.

00:12:13.180 Don't shy away from leadership opportunities.

00:12:16.000 Don't neglect those responsibilities that you have.

00:12:18.820 Boys run away from the hard things.

00:12:21.580 Men run towards them.

00:12:23.560 Gentlemen, that's all I have for you today.

00:12:25.980 Let me break these down just as a recap very quickly.

00:12:28.360 Number one, dismiss the fallacy that men and women are the same.

00:12:32.180 Number two, embrace masculine virtues in ourselves and our boys.

00:12:36.200 Number three, teach and model accurate gender roles and responsibilities. 1.00

00:12:41.020 Number four, reject the assault and dismissal of masculinity.

00:12:44.080 Number five, lead our families, businesses, and communities effectively.

00:12:49.120 Number six, serve the young men in our neighborhoods.

00:12:52.020 Number seven, have children only once you are physically, financially, mentally, and emotionally

00:12:57.940 mature enough to do so.

00:13:00.020 Number eight, commit to our marriages and do everything that we can to honor our marital vows.

00:13:05.260 Number nine, hold ourselves and our boys to the highest moral and ethical standards.

00:13:10.160 And number 10, continue to develop the skills and ability to protect, provide, and preside

00:13:15.320 over ourselves and those that we have a responsibility for.

00:13:19.100 So there it is, guys, 10 of them.

00:13:21.160 It's not an exhaustive list, but it's going to get the dialogue started.

00:13:24.440 And that's what I want.

00:13:25.340 So to that end, I ask if you would, if you got value from this, if you agree with this,

00:13:29.580 share it.

00:13:30.080 If you don't agree with it, tell me why.

00:13:32.280 Let's have a civil discussion about it.

00:13:33.900 But I think this is the discussion that needs to be had.

00:13:36.100 And more importantly, we need to be implementing these 10 steps into our lives and the lives

00:13:42.040 of the boys that we have an obligation to raise up as the next generation.

00:13:47.060 Guys, with that, let me just remind you of the couple of quick announcements that I shared

00:13:50.800 earlier.

00:13:51.380 Number one, the uprising, a three and a half day experience in the mountains of Southern

00:13:55.040 Utah.

00:13:55.640 You get to Las Vegas.

00:13:56.900 We pick you up.

00:13:57.740 We do the three and a half days of tests and challenges and trials physically, mentally,

00:14:02.960 emotionally.

00:14:03.900 We wear you out.

00:14:04.780 We give you a new framework for the way that you're going to operate your life as a husband

00:14:08.620 and a father and a business owner and a community leader.

00:14:11.740 And then we take you back down to Las Vegas and send you on your way.

00:14:16.120 So that's held again, May 3rd through the 6th, 2018.

00:14:19.320 It's at orderofman.com slash uprising.

00:14:22.680 Again, orderofman.com slash uprising.

00:14:25.040 Outside of that guys, connect with us on social media at order of man, wherever you do the social

00:14:30.120 media thing or Ryan Mickler on Instagram.

00:14:32.320 Again, it's Ryan, R-Y-A-N Mickler, M-I-C-H-L-E-R on Instagram.

00:14:38.160 Guys, I'm glad that you're here with us.

00:14:40.020 Again, it could not be done without you.

00:14:41.640 We need to continue to grow this army of men who want to step into the role and calling

00:14:46.220 of man.

00:14:47.380 And I'm honored to be standing shoulder to shoulder with you on this journey.

00:14:51.060 Until next week, take action and become the man you are meant to be.

00:14:54.880 Thank you for listening to the Order of Man podcast.

00:14:58.380 You're ready to take charge of your life and be more of the man you were meant to be.

00:15:02.420 We invite you to join the order at orderofman.com.

00:15:05.540 We'll be right back.

00:15:13.080 Bye.

00:15:13.360 Bye.

00:15:13.400 Bye.

00:15:15.400 Bye.

00:15:15.420 Bye.

00:15:15.780 Bye.

00:15:16.300 Bye.

00:15:17.080 Bye.

00:15:18.080 Bye.

00:15:18.400 Bye.

00:15:18.620 Bye.

00:15:19.260 Bye.

00:15:19.380 Bye.

00:15:19.820 Bye.

00:15:20.620 Bye.

00:15:23.400 Bye.

00:15:24.300 Bye.

00:15:25.480 Bye.

Order of Man - February 23, 2018

FFN 096： 10 Steps to Reclaim Masculinity

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