Order of Man - FFN 103： Building a Tribe, Developing Confidence, and the Drive for Bigger and Better

00:00:00.000 You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest. Embrace your fears and boldly chart

00:00:05.000 your own path. When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time. Every time.

00:00:10.500 You are not easily deterred or defeated. Rugged. Resilient. Strong. This is your life. This is who

00:00:17.240 you are. This is who you will become. At the end of the day, and after all is said and done,

00:00:22.800 you can call yourself a man. Gentlemen, what is going on today? My name is Ryan

00:00:27.960 Mickler, and I am the host and the founder of this podcast, The Order of Man. This, guys,

00:00:32.640 is a movement. It's a movement to help myself, to help you, to help every man across the planet

00:00:37.780 become a better man in his home, his business, his community, his life in general. So regardless

00:00:43.720 of where you are trying to improve, I believe you're trying to improve. Otherwise, you wouldn't

00:00:48.200 be listening to this podcast. But if you are new, that's what we're all about here. And what we do

00:00:53.020 is we interview the world's most successful men, warriors, athletes, scholars, New York

00:00:57.860 Times bestselling authors. I mean, you name it. If they have a successful story and they're doing

00:01:01.760 good and amazing things in their lives as men, we are interviewing those guys. We're extracting

00:01:06.840 their lessons, and then we are delivering them to you in the form of this podcast. Now, this one,

00:01:12.440 guys, if you are new again today, this one's a little different. This is our Friday field notes,

00:01:17.180 which is me. You get to listen to me for 10 to 15 to 20 minutes or so. This one might go a

00:01:21.760 little bit longer because we're changing up the format today as kind of a one-off in some things

00:01:26.720 that some guys have asked me to do. So today, instead of just sharing some thoughts that I have

00:01:31.760 from bouncing around in my brain throughout the week and the experiences that I have on a daily

00:01:36.460 basis with my family and my business and the interactions that I have, I thought what I would

00:01:40.660 do is I would reach out to the order, that I would reach out to the community. We've got a thriving

00:01:45.060 Facebook group. I think without looking at it, we've got roughly 44,000 men in our Facebook

00:01:51.720 group. And if you are interested in that, by the way, you can head to facebook.com slash groups

00:01:55.880 slash order of man and join us over there. We're having some amazing, amazing conversations about

00:02:01.580 anything from asking for promotions to reconnecting with kids and our wives to starting new businesses,

00:02:08.260 to getting in shape, to the mindset, whatever conversation you may want to have as a man,

00:02:12.480 I can guarantee you that we're having those conversations. And so what I did this week is I

00:02:17.660 just sent a message out in that Facebook group. And I said, I want to answer your questions.

00:02:22.360 You know, sometimes it's good to hear what I have to say, but at the end of the day,

00:02:25.600 if it doesn't land or resonate with what you want to hear, what good is it actually doing?

00:02:29.560 So I reached out to the guys in the Facebook group. I said, what are your most pressing questions?

00:02:33.960 And today I've got about, I'm looking at it right here. I've got about 12 to 15. I'm going to try to

00:02:41.000 get through all of these. I don't know if I will. I will try to get through all of them.

00:02:44.560 Uh, and we'll just see how far we can get some. I'm going to have short answers to some might be

00:02:48.840 a little bit more in depth, but I will tell you this. I've read the questions, but I do not have

00:02:53.540 any predetermined answers. I haven't scripted out these answers. I don't know exactly what I'm going

00:02:58.000 to say. I'm going to speak from the heart, speak from my mind and speak from my experience. If I have

00:03:02.860 an answer, I'll share it with you. If I don't have an answer, I'll share that with you as well.

00:03:06.940 Now, normally guys, this is where I do the announcements and I share with you all of the wonderful

00:03:11.420 things that we have going on, but I'm going to skip that right now because I can, I think

00:03:15.720 I can weave some of that in throughout the conversation and the answers. And I just want

00:03:19.320 to get into these things so we can get through as many as possible. So we'll just jump right

00:03:22.720 into it guys. And if you have any questions or anything that you would like me to answer

00:03:26.540 in the future, uh, the best way to do that is to join the Facebook group, facebook.com slash

00:03:31.240 groups slash order of man. All right, let's get into this. Number one, Leland McNally.

00:03:36.320 He says, how do you find a new tribe when the current tribe becomes complacent? Look,

00:03:43.060 I completely understand when the current tribe becomes complacent. I know for me, there was

00:03:49.060 a lot of times in my life where I felt like I was the only one who wanted to thrive, who

00:03:53.880 want to succeed, who wanted to push. And so I can certainly understand when you're looking

00:03:58.020 around at the men next to you, to your left and right, and you feel like these guys aren't

00:04:03.280 on the same path. And frankly, we outgrow people sometimes. I know that's not easy to

00:04:07.980 hear. I know you don't want to hear that necessarily. There may be men in your life who you've been

00:04:11.740 friends with since kindergarten or, or even brothers, family who you've outgrown. And I'm

00:04:18.540 not saying you need to ditch those relationships, but I am saying that you need to be deliberate

00:04:22.260 and intentional about leveling up. And that's what it's all about. It's about leveling up the

00:04:28.060 connections, leveling up the network, leveling up the relationships that you have and having

00:04:32.620 other men in your life who are succeeding in the ways that you want to succeed is critical.

00:04:38.660 So the question is, how do you do that? Well, number one, you need to know what you want.

00:04:43.580 If you don't know what you want, then who, who are you going to surround yourself with? You don't

00:04:47.360 even know who to surround yourself with. So for example, if you said, well, I really need to improve

00:04:53.040 in my fitness. I want to get in shape. I want to cut back some fat. I want to run a marathon.

00:04:59.600 I want to do a triathlon. I want to do a Spartan race. Well, that's good. That's, that's what you

00:05:03.540 want. Now you have to find those people who are doing what you want to do. So the best way to find

00:05:09.780 men who are in shape is to do what go to the gym. And that's what I did. I started doing CrossFit

00:05:15.680 and I found guys there at CrossFit who I resonated with, who I connected with, who were achieving

00:05:20.200 results, obviously physically. And I reached out to them and I connected with them. Uh, there's

00:05:25.000 masterminds. Let's say you want to grow a business or you want to start a podcast. Maybe you want to

00:05:28.860 start a podcast like this? Well, where do you go? You go where the podcasters are. And there's

00:05:33.980 an infinite number of mastermind groups who are talking about how to podcast. There's Facebook

00:05:39.280 groups. Uh, there's another great tool that I use, which is called meetup.com. If you're not familiar

00:05:45.700 with that, go to meetup.com and you can find people who are extremely interested in whatever you are

00:05:51.920 interested in, whether that's hiking or shooting or running or lifting or sewing. I mean, I don't

00:05:59.440 know. I don't know what your thing is. Photography, whatever your thing is, meetup.com is a great place

00:06:04.820 to find other people who are very interested in that thing as well. I would also jump online and

00:06:10.560 figure out what conferences and what networks and what courses and what activities are going on in your

00:06:15.760 area. At the end of the day, the answer is very simple. Go where the people are. And it's not just

00:06:20.860 anybody, but go where the people are who are achieving the results that you want to achieve

00:06:26.100 and put yourself out there and connect and, and offer praise to those people and compliments to

00:06:31.500 those people and ask them questions and look for their feedback and try to connect with them.

00:06:36.220 And the more that you do that, the more success that you'll have in building a tribe who is not

00:06:40.860 complacent, a tribe who is growing and expanding and look in your current circle. You know, there's

00:06:46.900 people in your current circle, whether it's your family or colleagues, friends, coworkers,

00:06:51.640 neighbors who are achieving some results and they haven't even been on your radar.

00:06:55.920 So look in your current circle and see, okay, this guy is succeeding in business.

00:06:59.860 Maybe I can just take him to lunch. Maybe I can just ask him a few questions. It's very simple.

00:07:05.000 If you go where the people are and you put yourself out there. All right. So number two,

00:07:08.780 Matthew Souders. Now I might butcher that Souders, I believe is how it's pronounced.

00:07:12.720 He says, what's the best way to build a new network when you have moved across the country

00:07:17.860 state and you truly don't know anyone. I think it's very similar to what I just gave. So I'm

00:07:23.440 not going to drone on about this, but again, meetup.com is a great place. Look for your

00:07:27.900 colleagues, look to your coworkers, look to your neighbors. Maybe there's a religious or church

00:07:31.780 institution that you are involved with that you can get involved with. Maybe it's running wherever

00:07:36.660 the people are, just go where the people are. And guys, I'm naturally an introvert.

00:07:40.840 Uh, I like being around people, but at the same time, sometimes frankly, it drains me.

00:07:45.940 So I have to force myself to go where the people are and communicate with other people. It's not

00:07:52.740 something that comes natural or easy for me. It's just something I recognize as being important.

00:07:57.120 And the more I put myself out there and the more I get around other people and the more I go to

00:08:01.280 conferences and the more I attend events and the more I go to these outings that are happening in my

00:08:05.140 area, uh, the more success I have with my network. It's really not that complex. It's very simple.

00:08:12.360 It's difficult. I think in theory to, to, to practice, but it's a very simple process. Again,

00:08:17.460 meetup.com go where the people are, do that over and over and over again. And I think you'll have

00:08:21.960 success. All right. Next one, Josh McDavid says, what are some of the best methods for instituting

00:08:27.420 discipline in your life? When you formatted a habit of being undisciplined? Oh, I think that

00:08:33.600 the answer is in the question. You said you formed a habit of being undisciplined. So what you need to

00:08:38.940 do is form a habit of being disciplined and start with the low hanging fruit. Start with getting out

00:08:44.660 of bed on time. Start with not hitting the snooze. Well, how do you do that? You put the little systems

00:08:50.060 in place to ensure that you can't hit the snooze button, put your phone across the room, put it

00:08:55.660 downstairs, whatever you need to do in order to ensure that you're not going to hit that snooze

00:09:00.740 button. That's number one. Number two, wake up and go to the gym. Or even if you don't go to the gym,

00:09:06.660 just exercise, get your body moving. Maybe that's a quick walk and put the processes in place to

00:09:11.560 ensure that will happen. One of the things I did when I tried to get back in shape for the first

00:09:15.600 time in maybe five, six years was I found a buddy who wanted to go do the same thing. And he wanted to

00:09:21.060 walk in the morning. And so he would meet me every, every morning at six o'clock or whatever the time

00:09:25.460 was. And I knew he was going to be there relying upon me. And if I wasn't there, I would let him

00:09:30.980 down. And if he wasn't there, he would let me down. And there was days where either one of us didn't

00:09:35.740 want to do it. And yet we did because we had that accountability. We had that system in place. So

00:09:40.980 start with the low hanging fruit, make lists, make things that you need to get done and just start

00:09:45.460 checking off that list. Again, not a very complex process or system here. It's very, very simple.

00:09:52.500 Go for the low hanging fruit. And what's the benefit of discipline. And then the nice thing

00:09:57.920 about the way discipline works is that if you become more disciplined in one area, that will

00:10:02.820 naturally bleed over into other areas. So be disciplined in one area, the low hanging fruit,

00:10:08.300 working out, not hitting the snooze, drinking all the water that you want to, or having the

00:10:14.040 conversations that you want to, or making the certain amount of calls, track everything,

00:10:17.900 put the processes and systems in place and just compound those things every single day.

00:10:22.680 And the last little word I'll give you on this is don't focus on the win as being the end result.

00:10:28.620 So for example, if you said, I want to lose 30 pounds, well, that's going to require some

00:10:33.380 discipline. If you focus on that, if you focus on 30 pounds, I got to lose 30 pounds. I got to lose

00:10:39.480 30 pounds. And that's all you're focusing on. It's very easy to lose discipline. But if you focus

00:10:44.040 on the win being doing the activities, the certain little small tactics on a daily basis

00:10:49.900 that will inevitably produce the 30 pound weight loss, that's what you're going to choose to focus

00:10:55.380 on. And that's where your energy and attention is going to go. And you're naturally going to be

00:10:59.360 more disciplined by doing it. So what does that look like? Exercise an hour every day. Maybe it's

00:11:03.840 cutting out processed sugars. Maybe it's drinking a certain amount of a water per day. Those are the

00:11:09.800 tactics that you need to focus on and measure the win on a daily basis by those things.

00:11:16.540 All right. Next, Steve, actually, Stephen, sorry. Stephen Sanders says with your financial

00:11:21.520 background, what do you think most people should be doing with any extra money they have? Savings,

00:11:27.000 investments, et cetera. Well, I think there's a couple of different buckets on this. And I do have

00:11:31.100 a financial planning background. I'm not going to give you specific advice on this necessarily,

00:11:35.080 but I think there's a couple of different buckets. Number one is debt, right? You've got

00:11:39.660 to pay off debt. And I'm not saying these are necessarily in any order. It just depends on

00:11:44.000 what you're trying to accomplish. But if you have outstanding debt, that should be a top priority.

00:11:49.880 Maybe not the top or the number one priority, but it should be a top priority. Debt will enslave you.

00:11:56.560 It will consume your thoughts and your mind and your actions. It will consume everything about you.

00:12:01.800 So get that debt paid off. The second thing is savings and savings is different than investments.

00:12:07.180 Savings might produce a quarter percent or a half a percent return if you're lucky.

00:12:12.980 So this is not an investment strategy. This is having money set aside for a rainy day.

00:12:18.440 If something happens, if you need it, it is there, it is available. You can take care of those

00:12:24.720 emergencies or whatever it may be when they come up. And the third bucket is investments. And there's a

00:12:30.600 lot of different strategies here. Might be the stock market and mutual funds. Might be cryptocurrency.

00:12:35.380 Could be real estate. I think those are the biggest, obviously. And that's where I would

00:12:41.540 recommend starting. If you're just getting started, you probably want to look at some low cost

00:12:45.980 mutual funds or index funds as I think that's probably the lowest hanging fruit. And that's

00:12:52.300 probably going to be the best place if you're just going to get started. And if you're down that

00:12:57.220 road, then you can look into other investments like business, cryptocurrency, real estate. Some of those

00:13:03.760 are the things as well. So those are the three buckets, debt, savings, and investments. All right.

00:13:08.500 Next one, Bubba Downs. Now you guys might recognize his name. He is the host of our Wednesday show

00:13:13.920 in the trenches. He says, when building confidence, especially in this world, how do you grow more

00:13:19.220 confident in sharing the parts of your life that you're not proud of so that others can learn from

00:13:24.680 your mistakes? Now this is tough because I know not everybody's in this situation. So I think first

00:13:30.880 and foremost, you've got to ask yourself why, because there's this movement and it's really

00:13:34.380 interesting. There's this movement in this word. Okay. I've heard this word over and over and over

00:13:39.120 again. And that word is vulnerability. Then men have to be vulnerable. And I disagree. I think there's

00:13:45.000 times where we can express vulnerability, but I think to be vulnerable for the sake of being vulnerable

00:13:51.240 is a mistake because at times, quite frankly, it hinders our job and our performance as men.

00:13:56.620 And sometimes we don't need to be emotional and we don't need to be vulnerable. Sometimes we need

00:14:02.220 to be a little bit more stoic and get the job done, the job that's required of us. So that's

00:14:07.620 number one. But if you feel like that you have a strong why, or maybe you're sharing this because

00:14:12.240 you want to see other people improve, or maybe you're starting a podcast like this one, or you

00:14:15.900 want to put a message out on the world that will serve other people. What's the best way to do it?

00:14:20.880 You just, you just do it. You know, how do you grow more confident? You, you do it. I wish there

00:14:27.380 was a better answer, not even a better answer. I wish there was a more elaborate answer, but the

00:14:32.860 reality is the best way to grow confidence, whether it's sharing a story or in your body or in your

00:14:37.900 ability to ask for a raise or in your ability to approach women is to do the very thing that you're

00:14:43.320 lacking confidence in. There's no shortcut. There's no magic phrase or formula that I can give you and say,

00:14:50.440 just do X, Y, and Z. And all of a sudden, pow, you're confident. It doesn't work like that.

00:14:55.160 You have to earn that confidence and you earn it again by doing the thing that you're not confident

00:15:00.620 in. So doing that thing again, whether it's sharing a story like Bubba saying here or talking

00:15:06.780 with a woman or asking for a raise, if that scares you and you don't have the confidence to do that,

00:15:12.360 that's okay because you don't need the confidence to do it. What you need is courage. You need the

00:15:17.280 balls to be able to go do the thing that you're afraid of doing. And that's something every single

00:15:21.860 man has to some capacity, to some degree has the ability to be courageous, to be bold, to do

00:15:29.860 something, even though he's afraid of doing it and just getting it done. And then you'll notice by doing

00:15:35.200 it, that confidence is the result. It's the reward. It's the, it's the, the end result of doing

00:15:44.160 the work and taking the actions. All right, guys, next, any advice on helping sons? He says

00:15:50.640 specifically 11 years old, deal with their anger in an appropriate manner instead of lashing out,

00:15:55.500 man, this is tough. My oldest is 10. So he's right there and I can see anger welling up inside. Part of

00:16:02.080 that is the way that I display my anger and anger is an emotion. It's not bad. It's not good. It's

00:16:07.000 simply an indicator of what's working well or what's not working well in our lives. And if we're angry,

00:16:12.400 there's something off, that's a metric, that's a benchmark. And so if we're using that benchmark as

00:16:18.000 the indicator that we should self-destruct or we should be destructive around ourselves and to

00:16:24.440 other people, well, that's a, that's a negative outlet. Society calls that toxic masculinity.

00:16:29.400 I call it undeveloped masculinity because it's, it's childlike, it's immature. And I'm not saying

00:16:35.280 I'm not guilty of that. I certainly am. But number one is you've got to lead by example. When you're

00:16:40.360 angry, communicate that with your 11 year old son and say, son, I'm angry. And here's why I'm angry,

00:16:45.620 but here's how I'm handling it. Like a mature, responsible, intelligent man. He's going to see

00:16:52.540 that he wants to be like you by default. He wants to be like you. So if you're not giving that example,

00:17:00.100 well, yeah, he's going to, he's going to act like you and he's going to do the things that you do.

00:17:04.540 Number two, I would say that you need to get him involved in some sort of physical activity.

00:17:08.680 I happen to think that competitive sports at a young age is the catalyst for development for a

00:17:15.380 young man. So my two oldest boys, 10 and eight years old, excuse me, seven, 10 and seven, I've

00:17:21.740 got four of them. So sometimes I get the ages off 10 and seven years old. They are both heavily

00:17:27.260 involved in competitive sports because I want them to be able to use the energy that they have in a

00:17:33.540 constructive way and learn how to win and learn how to lose and learn how to work as a team and learn

00:17:37.660 how to overcome failure and obstacles and hardship and trials and adversity. And I think there's very

00:17:42.740 few areas that can replicate what a competitive physical sports can do. And when I say competitive,

00:17:48.940 I literally mean competitive, like you're competing as in keeping score. If you're just going out and

00:17:54.340 frolicking around in the field and looking at the dandelions and looking up at the clouds and

00:17:58.040 imagining little shapes in the clouds, well, there's a time and a place for that, but there's also a time

00:18:02.840 and a place to compete because as John Eldredge says, every man is trying to answer this question

00:18:08.420 and every boy is answering this question as well. Am I enough? And when you look at the scoreboard and

00:18:13.480 that boy sees that the score is five to seven, not in his favor, he realizes he is not enough.

00:18:18.540 And then the man comes in and says, great, how can we get you there? You as a father, Abraham,

00:18:24.000 who's asking this question, he's going to ask you, he's going to look to you and you've got to be,

00:18:29.760 again, that example that helps him with that. And then also finding constructive outlets that he

00:18:34.000 enjoys. Maybe he enjoys painting or building Legos is something big that we do around here or

00:18:40.040 shooting a bow or whatever, whatever that looks like for you, but be the example, get him involved

00:18:45.240 in competitive sports and find an outlet that he really enjoys and get him involved with that.

00:18:49.720 All right, guys, I'm looking at the time. I know we're not going to get nearly to where I want to

00:18:53.500 get to on these. We're about halfway through right now. And I think I'll take one or two more

00:18:56.700 questions here. Jason Fincannon, I think is how it's pronounced says, how do you keep your self

00:19:03.020 improvement momentum going or kick it back up when life's tasks and responsibilities kick into

00:19:08.540 overdrive for a while? And you just want to take a break when it levels back out. That's part one.

00:19:14.580 The second part of that, he says, seems getting myself back on track for the journey to the be the

00:19:19.600 best has taken a little too long after some of those runs. Look, I get it. And sometimes there's

00:19:24.360 stations in life. Sometimes you do need to take a break. Sometimes you've been go, go, go, go,

00:19:28.940 go, go as long as you can. And you're redlining. That's not sustainable. It really isn't. And I

00:19:34.340 think we do ourselves an injustice when we look at other quote unquote influencers or podcasters or

00:19:40.000 men out in the world who seem to be a hundred percent all the time. I'm here to tell you that

00:19:44.980 is an illusion. All right. You're looking at social media. You're looking at blogs. You're looking at

00:19:49.000 podcasts. You're looking at what I'm doing and thinking that, oh, Ryan's always on the go or Ryan's

00:19:53.160 always doing this. No. I mean, quite honestly, social media is a highlight reel. So you're seeing

00:19:58.220 the best of the best, but you're not seeing the downtimes. You're not seeing when I'm sitting

00:20:02.080 down, reading a book or on a walk with my family, you don't see that stuff. But that downtime is just

00:20:08.300 as important as the uptime as when you are redlining and you can't redline. You can't go hard unless you

00:20:15.960 learn how to go not so hard occasionally. So that's okay. It's okay to do that. Now there also comes a time

00:20:21.980 where you do need to kick it in gear and you need to ramp things up. And I think the best way to do

00:20:26.700 that is have some worthy goal, have some worthy ambition, have some battle that you're interested

00:20:32.680 in engaging in. And if you find yourself sitting on the couch or doing whatever it is you're doing

00:20:36.900 and not really going, I'd say that the first thing you need to look at is what's driving you,

00:20:42.140 what's motivating you, what pisses you off, what fires you up, what gets you excited about getting out

00:20:46.820 of bed. And if you can't answer that question, that's your first step. What is it that you want?

00:20:52.960 What do you, what do you want to create? What problem do you want to solve? What battle do you

00:20:56.580 want to engage in? What, what hurdle or challenge do you want to try to tackle? If you don't have that,

00:21:02.200 yeah, you're not going to get out of bed. You're not going to be motivated. You're not going to be

00:21:04.980 inspired. You're going to be stuck in a dead end job. You didn't come home, plop your ass on the couch,

00:21:09.620 watch the same shows you've always watched, do the same things you've always done, disengage from your

00:21:13.540 wife and kids, and you're not going to be motivated about those things. So step number one is find

00:21:18.120 something you're passionate about, find something that fires you up and just take a step. You know,

00:21:23.700 you don't have to solve the problem, but you do have to take the first step. And that's what I've

00:21:28.260 done here with order of man is I had this, this problem that I recognized in society, this lack

00:21:33.200 of masculinity or a dismissal of masculinity. And I thought to myself, well, what can I do?

00:21:38.820 And the thing that I knew how to do at the time was, was podcast. So I started a podcast.

00:21:43.540 And then I had enough guys say, well, what's next? And so we started a mastermind group,

00:21:46.960 the iron council. A lot of you guys are familiar with that. And I have guys asking what's next and

00:21:50.560 what's next and what's next. And through the process of taking one small step every single

00:21:54.960 day for the past three years, well, I find myself in a position in which I'm motivated and inspired

00:22:00.360 and uplifted and energized. I want to get out of bed. I want to come down here into my office and I

00:22:05.880 want to do this podcast and I want to answer your questions. And I want to serve you as men

00:22:09.480 and help you and myself become better men because I was willing to take the first step.

00:22:14.360 All right, guys, I'm going to get to the next question. And I think we're going to wrap it up,

00:22:18.380 but I will do this in the future. We'll do some more. Greg Griffiths asks, how do you get to a

00:22:23.020 place where you can keep yourself from sliding back into a rut to maintain? This kind of ties in line

00:22:29.680 with that last question that Jason asked. I think the best way to do that is to have, again, some

00:22:34.780 worthy goal, some worthy ambition, like what's next. You should always be asking yourself what's

00:22:39.940 next. Whenever I have a win and one in particular that I can think of is with the book. I just wrote

00:22:44.980 the book a couple of months ago, released sovereignty, the battle for the hearts and minds of

00:22:48.220 men. And I got done and that book was sent to me and I held it in my hands. And quite honestly,

00:22:52.700 I got a little tear in my eye with how excited I was, but it was, it was fleeting. It left very

00:22:58.400 quickly that that thrill and that excitement went away very, very quickly for me within 24 hours. And I

00:23:03.960 woke up the next morning and I thought to myself, why am I not as excited as I, as I thought I would

00:23:08.720 be? Why am I not still hopped up on this? Well, the answer was because I was on what was next.

00:23:14.140 I was thinking about what's, what's, what's forward, what's moving me forward, what's driving

00:23:18.980 me, what's keeping me motivated. What can I do next? That's bigger and better than this. And there's

00:23:23.580 certainly a time to celebrate, but there's also a time to get over it. I had a baseball coach who

00:23:28.180 you're going to be hearing on the podcast in the next couple of weeks when I was in high school.

00:23:31.380 And he says, you're only as good as your last dad bat. Think about that for a second. You're

00:23:36.040 only as good as your last dad bat. I know guys that still celebrate 20 years later, how good

00:23:41.400 they were in high school. What a shame because they're missing all of the opportunity and the

00:23:46.320 potential for growth in their life because they're focused on backwards rather than forward.

00:23:51.900 So ask yourself, what's next? What's my next battle? What's the next thing I want to fight?

00:23:58.300 What's the next engagement? What's the next thing for me? What's the thing that's hopping

00:24:02.480 me up right now? And start moving in that direction. Start doing the one thing that's

00:24:06.980 going to get you to the place that you feel like you want to go. And if you realize down

00:24:10.940 the road, it's not the right direction. Okay. That's fine. You can pivot, but you've got

00:24:15.140 to be excited about something. You've got to engage in a battle. And I think men need to

00:24:20.280 have activity. We need to have a battle. John Eldridge, I just quoted him a minute ago.

00:24:24.400 He says, deep in his heart, every man longs for a battle to fight, an adventure to live

00:24:29.060 and a beauty to rescue. I believe that to be true. If you don't have those three things,

00:24:33.420 then I think you're missing a critical, critical component of your life as a man.

00:24:37.960 So anyways, guys, I answered, I don't know, eight or so right there. I thought I would get

00:24:41.840 through all of these. I'll have to do this again. Cause we've got another five or six questions

00:24:45.160 that guys have asked and I'll get to them. I will. But for now, just for the sake of time

00:24:49.480 and wrap things up, I hope that helps. I hope that gives you some insight into the way that

00:24:54.240 I look at how this world works and man, I certainly don't have it all figured out.

00:24:57.740 I've got a few things figured out. I'm more than happy to share the few things I have figured

00:25:00.780 out. And then I learned, I learned just as much from you and the rest of the order in

00:25:05.940 this movement than, than you probably learned from me. So I want to say on that note that I

00:25:10.220 do thank you. I do appreciate you. None of this can happen. I mean, this is, this is

00:25:14.720 literally growing to hundreds of thousands and we're closing in on millions and millions

00:25:18.620 of men across the planet who are listening to this podcast, who are engaging in what we're

00:25:23.180 doing. And again, it just couldn't be done without you. So on that note, I would encourage

00:25:27.640 you guys to join our Facebook group. I mentioned it a couple of times, facebook.com slash groups

00:25:32.200 slash order of man. So check that out. If you are interested in taking it a step further,

00:25:37.280 we've got our exclusive brotherhood with roughly 375 men in that group, order of man.com

00:25:43.960 slash iron council. I appreciate those of you who asked questions. It was Leland McNally,

00:25:49.840 Matthew Souders, Josh McDavid, Steven Sanders, Bubba Downs, Abraham Christensen, Jason Fincannon,

00:25:57.160 and Greg Griffiths. I'll get to these other questions another time. Guys, until then take

00:26:02.500 action and become the man you are meant to be. Thank you for listening to the order of man podcast.

00:26:08.500 You're ready to take charge of your life and be more of the man you were meant to be.

00:26:12.280 We invite you to join the order at order of man.com.

Order of Man - April 13, 2018

FFN 103： Building a Tribe, Developing Confidence, and the Drive for Bigger and Better

Episode Stats

Length

Words per Minute

Word Count

Sentence Count

Misogynist Sentences

Hate Speech Sentences

Summary

Transcript