In this episode, Ryan talks about the importance of being a man of action and how to be a better father, husband, friend, and business owner. He also talks about how to become a better martial artist and martial arts instructor.
00:01:16.820This is me talking with you for, I don't know, 10 to 15 minutes or so about some thoughts and ideas.
00:01:22.240And some things that I've been thinking about from throughout the week.
00:01:24.880Of course, in addition to this, if you don't already know, we have an interview show as well.
00:01:29.000Where we are interviewing the world's most successful men, inspiring men, and guys that are showing up in a real big way.
00:01:36.440And their families, their businesses, their communities, and basically every aspect of life.
00:01:40.520So with that, make sure you subscribe.
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00:01:46.540That goes not only a long way in making sure that you get the information, but guys, it goes such a long way in promoting the podcast and boosting the visibility.
00:01:57.140We need more men and women, frankly, to hear what message we're sharing here about how to be a better father, how to be a better husband, how to be a better community leader and a business owner, a better man in general.
00:02:08.880And I really believe, otherwise I wouldn't be doing this, that the world needs this more than it ever has.
00:02:36.440Now, if you guys aren't familiar with origin, these guys are making lifestyle gear.
00:02:40.080They're making training gear for Brazilian jujitsu.
00:02:42.900They have a nutritional and supplemental line teamed up and partnered up with Jocko, which I take.
00:02:48.960I do the discipline, the super krill and the joint warfare.
00:02:52.240And I've noticed improvements in all of those areas as I've taken those things.
00:02:56.420And I've been, I wouldn't say against supplements, but I haven't used them in the past.
00:03:01.040And I've started to use some supplements as I've really tried to increase my physical fitness and my nutrition regimen and the things that I'm doing to improve my health.
00:03:09.120And these things have gone a long way.
00:03:10.760So guys, make sure you check them out.
00:03:33.340And then also if you end up purchasing any of the training gear, nutritional supplements, whatever it may be, use the code ORDER, O-R-D-E-R in all caps at checkout.
00:03:49.720You have likely heard this phrase, zero F's given.
00:03:54.120This is a phrase that I hear more and more and I figured we'd talk about this because while I can understand to a degree what anyone might be saying when they use that term, I can't help but see the folly, see the mistake in that line of thinking, especially for men.
00:04:11.040Because your job and my job as a man, I think is the exact opposite of that sentiment.
00:04:16.520Your job is to care about a lot and be a man of value in the walls, again, of your home and your business and out in your community.
00:04:24.820But if you walk around with a chip on your shoulder and that's what it feels like when guys say this, it feels like they just have a chip on their shoulder and you take this stance that everyone else should leave you alone and there's nothing that you should really care about.
00:04:37.160I've got to think that you're missing a big element of what it means to be a man.
00:04:41.480And if you've been with us for any amount of time, like, you know, that this is at direct odds with what we're trying to do here.
00:04:48.340And not to mention, you're limiting your potential and the potential of the people around you.
00:04:52.940If you look at our motto, which is so much more than just a few little clever marketing words, it's a lifestyle.
00:04:59.480It's a way that we operate and show up.
00:05:14.920There are certain things that you probably just shouldn't care about.
00:05:18.860Certainly, there's things that I don't care about.
00:05:21.140There's certain people that you shouldn't listen to.
00:05:23.560And it's extremely, extremely important that we actually inventory, that we look at our lives, every facet of our lives and ask ourselves what should and should not be included.
00:05:34.140But this quote unquote zero F's mentality, it seems to be different than that.
00:05:39.780And from my perspective, it seems to be a little more than tough talk from men who don't understand the value and caring about certain parts of their life.
00:05:50.900You know, if you take opinions, for example, now, again, I know, okay, I know that not everyone's opinion is relevant, but some are some opinions are relevant.
00:06:00.320If I recognize that someone has an opinion worth listening to, you better believe I'm going to listen to it.
00:06:06.380Even if somebody disagrees with me, I still think there's value in listening and striving to understand before we completely dismiss the disagreeing party as an idiot, which I've seen, or that you don't really care what he or she has to say.
00:06:23.520Even the so-called the haters, right? The haters of the world can simply just be ignored. And I've had to learn how to do that. That's a skill that, that can be developed and should be developed.
00:06:34.040But when you give a response, whether that's a negative or a positive response, you attract more of that in your life. And I'm just not interested in attracting negativity.
00:06:44.040So rather than get mad and offended or result to these childish answers, I just simply qualify the source of information.
00:06:53.520Is the person sharing this feedback, even a credible source of information? If the answer is no, just move on, just move on. If the answer is yes, then, well, you can probably make a case to listen, at least consider that that information may be accurate or it might improve your current position.
00:07:12.560Evaluating critical feedback even has been valuable for me. It does one of two things. It further enhances my belief about my current perspective again, or it opens me up to broader horizons and options. In both scenarios, I win. They're a good scenario, regardless of what happens. And besides automatically dismissing valuable information that could serve you, it weakens your position.
00:07:35.860And of course, the way you do one thing. And of course, the way you do one thing is the way you do everything. We've all heard that as well. In some of the events that we run, for example, I've been thinking about this. We have attendees do a plank challenge.
00:07:46.940And the challenge is designed to see how long any of the participants can hold their plank. Among the top reasons for participants dropping out of that plank is that it's quote unquote stupid.
00:08:01.880It's irrelevant or it's unimportant to what they want in life. That's what the attendees are saying.
00:08:07.380And this couldn't be further from the truth. I know it's a plank challenge, but it's relevant still. If you can't do a simple plank challenge without conjuring up the excuse that it's stupid when it gets a little challenging, what makes you think you're going to be able to stick with a marriage when it gets tough or a business when it takes longer to build than you thought it would?
00:08:30.040Or your fitness regimen when you don't see those results as quickly as you would hope for. The truth is, guys, it all matters. Again, the way you do one thing is the way you do everything.
00:08:40.920Now, I know that there's some activities that you truly don't care about. I mentioned that before. There's certainly activities I don't care about. I get that.
00:08:48.140And you shouldn't be expected to or even participate in every possible task and conversation or project or event or whatever that you could ever be part of.
00:08:58.720But I believe the better response as the first response is one of at least consideration. Why not consider the project or why not consider the opinion before you completely dismiss it?
00:09:11.540I like to use sports as an example because I believe it's such a great metaphor for life. If when I was playing football, I completely dismissed another team because, quote, I don't care what they're going to do. We're going to destroy them.
00:09:24.000Well, in that case, I opened myself up to the very real likelihood of not training for and not preparing for the game. And we all know how that's going to turn out.
00:09:34.140Ryan Holiday actually covers this at length in his book. Ego is the enemy. I know a lot of you guys have read that book. It's a great book if you haven't picked it up yet.
00:09:40.740But our arrogance has a way of becoming our own worst enemy. It opens us up to all sorts of blind spots and, of course, the potential loss that comes with it.
00:09:50.420I believe that this, quote, unquote, zero F's mentality does not come, guys, from a position of growth and expansion. It comes from a place of closed mindedness and arrogance.
00:10:01.400I don't need to beat my chest and tell everyone how little I care about life. I did that as a child when I wanted the approval of my friends. That's what it was. When I wanted the approval of other people, I pretended I didn't care about things and I was too cool or cooler than I really was.
00:10:17.780And I guess more than anything, that's the point that I'm making. This mentality is rooted in insecurity and a position of scarcity. Basically, you're saying, I want people to think that I don't care.
00:10:30.160So I'm going to yell it as loudly and obnoxiously as I possibly can. But isn't that a little ironic to do that? If you feel the need to tell people you don't care, you probably actually do care.
00:10:42.400And what's wrong with caring anyways, guys? I care about an infinite number of things in my life. I care about my family. I care about my community. I care about this movement. I care about the state of affairs for men. I care about this country.
00:10:55.340I care about putting food on the table. I care about people that I've never even met. I even care about those who disagree with me.
00:11:02.640That doesn't make you or me weak or my personal favorite is a quote unquote cuck or a beta. It just makes you a man of value because you care about those things.
00:11:13.220You're going to invest the time and the energy and the resources that you can. And whenever you invest your energy into something worthwhile, it always has a way of returning to you.
00:11:23.400And if there's things that I genuinely don't care about, I just dismiss them. I free up my bandwidth from more important matters and I drive on.
00:11:30.020There's no need to tell people how little I care. I just don't have time for it because I'm more focused on the things that I do care about.
00:11:36.740Now, some people are going to dismiss this information. They're going to tell me I'm blowing it way out of proportion.
00:11:41.720I disagree. Words matter. I believe they're powerful. When we were boys, we always heard the adage, sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.
00:11:50.260It's cute. And there's a point to be made there, but generally it's just not true.
00:11:55.680Again, words are powerful. They've been used to form world changing partnerships. They've started and ended wars.
00:12:03.600They've communicated and expressed love to the people that we care about building businesses and just about any other worthwhile endeavor that you could possibly think of.
00:12:12.720And it's been said that the complexity of our language is one of the very things that makes us human in the first place.
00:12:19.400And if it really has that much relevancy, our language has that much relevancy to who we are as a species.
00:12:26.460I think it's probably pretty safe to assume that it's powerful.
00:12:29.720So, guys, I'll end on this. If language is that powerful, powerful enough to do all those wonderful things and unfortunately some of those horrific things I talked about, then isn't it safe to assume that our own brains process the things that we say in very much the same way?
00:12:46.180If you keep telling yourself you don't care and quote unquote zero F's this and zero F's that, what signals are you sending to your brain about the amount of effort you put into the things that you say you do care about?
00:13:08.700I do want to make mention very quickly of our band of brothers.
00:13:12.620We've had so many men join us inside the Iron Council over the past week or so, and I want to make sure that I personally invite you to join us as well.
00:13:20.960385 or so members in the Iron Council.
00:13:23.420These are men who are banded together as battle teams.
00:13:26.540These are 15-man teams that we operate in.
00:13:28.700They're working together. They're working on goals.
00:13:30.900They're coming up with things they need to do on a daily basis.
00:13:33.180They're losing weight. They're building businesses.
00:13:38.740And we have the framework for helping you identify what that actually looks like.
00:13:42.980And more importantly, and this is the most important part, we're helping you establish and build the framework and the road to achieving the results that you say you're after.
00:13:53.040So if you're ready for more than just talking about what it means to be a better man, you want to do something about it, I invite you to join us in the Iron Council.