Order of Man - FFN 115： The Path of Most Resistence

00:00:00.000 You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest. Embrace your fears and boldly chart

00:00:05.000 your own path. When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time. Every time.

00:00:10.440 You are not easily deterred or defeated. Rugged. Resilient. Strong. This is your life. This is

00:00:17.080 who you are. This is who you will become. At the end of the day, and after all is said and done,

00:00:22.800 you can call yourself a man. Gentlemen, what is going on? My name is

00:00:27.020 Ryan Michler, and I am the host and founder of this podcast, The Order of Man. Whether you've

00:00:31.460 been listening for a year or two or three years, or this is the very first time you listen to the

00:00:36.520 show, I want to welcome you to what I and hundreds of thousands of other men across the planet

00:00:40.620 consider to be the best resource available for helping you step up as a man, as a father,

00:00:48.100 a husband, a business owner, a community leader, wherever it is that you're showing up in your

00:00:53.100 life. We've got you covered each and every week. We're interviewing the world's most successful

00:00:57.380 men. These are entrepreneurs. These are athletes, scholars, warriors, New York times, bestselling

00:01:03.140 authors. I mean, you name it. If they've got an interesting story and they're having success in

00:01:07.000 their life, it's my job to interview those men, ask them great questions, get their answers in part,

00:01:12.800 some of their wisdom upon you each and every week. Now this, your Friday field notes is a little

00:01:17.540 bit different. Basically, you get to hear from me. You get to hear my thoughts and my ramblings and my

00:01:23.580 ideas from throughout the week. So I'm going to get to that here in just a minute. Before I do,

00:01:28.300 I want to make another announcement about our Order of Man legacy event. Guys, if you don't know what

00:01:33.260 this is, this is the very first time that we're actually going to be doing a father and son event.

00:01:38.580 We've done events for men in the past, but I think it's really, really important to start looking at

00:01:43.940 the future generations, the boys who are going to become men. And we need to find a way to usher

00:01:51.900 these young men into manhood. I know I'm certainly doing that with my boys to the best of my ability.

00:01:57.640 And I thought that we could do this three and a half day experience in the mountains of Southern

00:02:01.420 Utah, which is designed to push and test both you and your son, forge new bonds, and then give you

00:02:07.900 the tools and the guidance and the direction and the resources that you need in order for you to help

00:02:13.500 your boy become a man. So those dates are September 20th through the 23rd, 2018. I think we've got

00:02:21.440 about seven, maybe eight spots left. So if you are interested, make sure you learn about that and get

00:02:27.180 signed up quickly. You can do so at order of man.com slash legacy order of man.com slash legacy. And this

00:02:34.600 event and the other events that we've done actually tie in really nicely to what I want to talk with you

00:02:39.260 about today, which is the path of most resistance. Now you hear that. And even saying that sounds a little

00:02:44.960 weird because we just don't use that term. The term we use is the path of least resistance. And I

00:02:51.400 understand, I think it's natural. I think that we as human beings are looking for effectiveness. We're

00:02:57.980 looking for efficiencies. We're looking for the shortcut. We're looking to do things the easiest. And again, I

00:03:04.400 understand that I do that as well. And I also believe that there's merit to the path of least

00:03:09.340 resistance. We don't want to make things hard just for them being hard. Now I'm going to distinguish

00:03:15.460 that because there is a time and a place where we should be looking for the path of most resistance

00:03:21.160 and the path of most resistance should be explored during training. When the stakes aren't high, see,

00:03:27.160 we can take the path of least resistance during the actual test when it actually counts. But if we learn

00:03:34.340 in training and I'm not just talking about some sort of physical training or training for a specific

00:03:38.680 event, I'm going to get a little bit more specific with you on that. I'm talking about just life in

00:03:43.740 general. If you can train yourself to look for the harder path when faced with two potential choices,

00:03:52.000 if it's in training where it doesn't really count like the actual test might, then I think it's better

00:03:59.020 that we take the path of most resistance. I'm going to get to why that is. I'm going to share

00:04:05.040 some insights into why I think we as men need to incorporate this more into our lives. But first,

00:04:11.040 I want to get a little bit more specific with what it is I'm talking about, because it's very easy to

00:04:16.080 say, Oh, just choose the path of most resistance. Just get tough. We hear that all the time. And again,

00:04:20.640 there's merit to that, but let's talk about that a little bit more specifically. When I'm talking

00:04:24.940 about taking the path of most resistance, what I'm talking about is enabling you to better face

00:04:30.780 the trials and the obstacles and the hurdles and just life in general. It's that uncomfortable

00:04:36.840 conversation that you need to have with your spouse or the uncomfortable conversation you need

00:04:42.040 to have with an employee or an employer. See what most people will do is they know it's uncomfortable.

00:04:47.500 And so they turn around, they tuck tail and they run and they put it off because they've never built

00:04:53.440 up the mental fortitude, toughness, grit, resiliency, whatever you want to call it in

00:04:58.300 order to have those uncomfortable conversations. And what I found is that when I have those types

00:05:03.600 of uncomfortable conversations, things get better. You work things out. But again, most people run

00:05:09.520 away. Uh, it's exercise, you know, think about your life and most people's life. They wake up at

00:05:15.440 their predetermined time, their phone goes off or the alarm clock goes off. And what's the first thing

00:05:19.740 they do? The path of least resistance. They don't get out of bed. They hit the snooze button and then

00:05:24.440 they're presented with this opportunity to go in to the gym and go exercise. Oh no, I'm not going to

00:05:29.620 do that today. I can do that tomorrow. I'll start tomorrow. And then they go into the kitchen and

00:05:34.540 what kind of food are they presented with? Well, the cereal and the junk food and everything else

00:05:39.000 they probably shouldn't have, but heaven forbid, we don't eat anything at all, or we choose to eat

00:05:43.820 healthy. That's the path of most resistance that I'm talking about. Uh, it's other events and

00:05:49.380 experiences and opportunities that you could potentially put yourself into that most people

00:05:53.900 don't because they're afraid. And so we let this fear of what may happen, keep us from doing the

00:06:00.280 very thing that will help us thrive and Excel and succeed in life. I get it. Fear is real. We have

00:06:10.520 these acronyms like false evidence appearing real. I don't necessarily agree with that maybe in certain

00:06:16.260 cases, but fear is real. When I'm afraid, when you're afraid, there's probably some legitimate

00:06:22.500 reasons for that fear. There's potential negative consequences and outcomes of the things that you're

00:06:28.260 afraid about. But this is why it's so important that we choose the path of most resistance when the

00:06:34.020 consequences and the stakes aren't all that high so that when they are, when there's a real

00:06:39.460 conversation that needs to be had, when there's a real choice that needs to be made, when you're

00:06:44.260 faced with a natural disaster or heaven forbid, an active shooter situation or some other emergency

00:06:51.180 that you've adequately prepared yourself by choosing the path of most resistance up until that point.

00:06:57.540 So let me share with you why I think this is so important because it's going to help you build

00:07:02.640 some characteristics, some traits that are going to help you thrive and succeed in your life.

00:07:10.100 Number one, when you choose the harder path, when you choose to do the harder thing, when you

00:07:15.880 voluntarily place yourself in hardship, you naturally and inevitably build up resilience.

00:07:22.500 And when I'm talking about resilience, I'm talking about physical resilience. I'm talking about

00:07:27.520 mental resilience. I'm talking about emotional resilience and fortitude so that when it counts,

00:07:33.800 when the stakes are high, you can adequately handle those things because you've inoculated yourself

00:07:39.440 against a scary conversation, against a natural disaster, against some sort of threat, against some

00:07:47.680 sort of test that all of us will be tasked with facing. You have to build up the resilience.

00:07:53.860 You have to build up the grit and the fortitude. And the only way to do that is to put yourself

00:07:59.480 under stress. Volunteer for experiences and events that are going to push you. Volunteer to speak

00:08:06.920 in public. When you know there has to be a conversation that needs to be made, go have that

00:08:11.140 conversation. Try a 24-hour fast because it's hard. Go into the gym the very first thing in the morning.

00:08:18.280 Push a little harder than you normally would. When everybody else around you is done,

00:08:22.260 you keep going. Go into the office early. Leave a little bit later. Do whatever you can to push

00:08:28.560 yourself further than you have before. That is the only way to build resilience. See, most people

00:08:34.020 think that they'll just step up to this situation when it calls for it. That's not true. There's a

00:08:41.560 quote by Archie Locus, and I probably butchered that, that says, we don't rise to the level of our

00:08:46.580 expectations. We fall to the level of our training. So, what does your training say about what kind of

00:08:51.200 man you are? If it's weak and it's soft and it's pathetic or non-existent, you will never be able

00:08:57.840 to step up to the task at hand when it needs to happen. So, number one, the reason you want to

00:09:02.940 take the path of most resistance is so that you can build up resiliency and fortitude and toughness

00:09:09.280 and grit. Now, number two is that when you choose the harder path, you are naturally going to improve

00:09:15.520 your creative skills, your creative talents. It's so important in a world that isn't linear,

00:09:21.580 that's all over the place. The unexpected happens and all kinds of trials and obstacles happen and

00:09:26.400 get in our way that each and every one of us as men learn to be creative. There's another quote or

00:09:31.860 mantra, and I'm not even going to attempt to say it in Latin, but the quote is, I will find a way

00:09:36.740 or make one. Sometimes the right course of action isn't going to present itself easily.

00:09:42.460 Sometimes there isn't a clear path. And so for you to become creative, for you to flex that creative

00:09:49.600 muscle and to look for different opportunities and different angles is going to be the way that

00:09:55.440 you are going to overcome the situation that you may find yourself in. But if you've never placed

00:10:00.160 yourself in any level of stress, you've never been uncomfortable, it's never been awkward for you

00:10:05.600 because you've run and you've avoided all of those situations that could have potentially built that

00:10:10.120 creative muscle. You're going to be stuck. You're not going to be able to produce or bring in the

00:10:16.080 income or get the client or have the conversation or get the raise or whatever it is that you're

00:10:22.080 trying to do. Creativity is so, so important in a world that is going to throw curve balls at you.

00:10:29.420 And unless you give yourself the opportunity mentally, intellectually, physically to overcome some of

00:10:37.020 these strange scenarios and unpredictable situations that we find ourselves in, you will never be able

00:10:43.440 to thrive when things get difficult. This is why when I see guys who fail at the slightest sign of

00:10:49.420 adversity or struggle, it's because they haven't built up the strength. It's because they aren't

00:10:54.760 being creative. And so what do they do? They see the wall and rather than go around it, they turn around

00:10:59.580 and they go home. If you and I have any hope of becoming the men that we're capable of becoming,

00:11:05.080 we've got to be able to be creative and look for solutions that aren't readily available.

00:11:09.640 And the beauty of this is other men aren't looking for these solutions. They aren't creative because

00:11:14.800 they too are taking the path of least resistance. And so when you look creatively at an opportunity

00:11:19.460 and you prove to yourself and prove to the world or other people, a wife or a partner, a employer,

00:11:25.140 an employee that you can be creative, you prove yourself worthy of following because you're

00:11:29.980 somebody who will get the job done. I will find a way or make one. And the third point I wanted to

00:11:35.880 share with you as to why it's so, so important that we choose the harder path is because it gives

00:11:41.280 you this sense of calmness. You might even say confidence. I'll give you a very small example and

00:11:47.240 one that I'm learning all too well. A couple of months ago, I started Brazilian jujitsu. And as I was

00:11:53.340 wrestling and grappling with other guys on the mat, I noticed that when I would get myself into trouble,

00:11:59.320 I would get excited. My heart would start pumping. I'd start consuming too much energy because I was

00:12:04.700 trying to bulldoze or strong arm my way through a particular move or a hold. And I would just get

00:12:10.100 completely chaotic. And as I grappled with those who were more advanced, blue belts, brown belts,

00:12:15.540 even black belts, I noticed and saw just a level of calmness and clarity and focus in the

00:12:23.200 way that they were approaching the match. I mean, I literally had guys that I was wrestling with

00:12:28.100 where they would have their hands behind their back while I was doing everything I could to

00:12:32.080 submit them or just force them to go where I wanted them to go. And they were calm and they were thinking

00:12:38.400 things through clearly and they were comfortable. Well, how did they get to that position? They got to

00:12:43.520 that position because they put themselves in the position I was in enough. They made themselves

00:12:50.460 uncomfortable. They put themselves in awkward circumstances. Guys, we've got to get better

00:12:56.340 with being uncomfortable. The more that you can put yourself in uncomfortable situations,

00:13:01.180 the more calmness, the more clarity, the more focus, the more determination, and even the more

00:13:07.040 confidence. And confidence is one of the biggest topics. One of the most frequently asked questions.

00:13:13.120 How do I build more confidence? You put yourself in situations that force you to be uncomfortable

00:13:19.460 because when you come out the other side unscathed, you recognize that you had something within

00:13:24.740 yourself that you didn't recognize before. I know we're just scratching the surface on what we could

00:13:30.380 talk about here, but gentlemen, let me be very clear with you. We've got to put ourselves in

00:13:34.920 uncomfortable situations. When we're faced with two or three or an unlimited amount of options,

00:13:41.200 we ought to consider taking the path of most resistance. And I'm not telling you that by default,

00:13:45.880 you always have to take that path, but you ought to consider it. You ought to recognize that it's

00:13:51.000 there. You want to contemplate whether or not you should take that path. I'll give you one other

00:13:55.840 example. I have started running over the past several weeks and it would be very easy for me to

00:14:01.020 wake up early in the morning when it's nice and cool and 75 degrees and go out for a little jog

00:14:07.080 or in the evening when it's cooled down and I can take it easy and it's comfortable. But what I chose to

00:14:13.240 do instead is to run in the middle of the day. And in the middle of the day where I'm at in

00:14:17.340 Southern Utah, it's roughly 105 degrees right now. And I run up this mountain that I'm looking at

00:14:21.740 through my window right now. Now, some people will say, Oh, you shouldn't do that. That's dangerous.

00:14:26.000 That's too hard on your body. Uh, no, it's not. I'm not in any risk as long as I'm willing to take

00:14:31.060 care of myself and listen to my body. But I choose to do that. I choose to run in the middle of the day.

00:14:36.540 I choose to do it when it's 105 degrees. I choose to go up the mountain rather than the paved

00:14:42.200 little nice level road. And I choose to do that because I know it's harder. I know it's more

00:14:47.920 challenging. I know it will build up my resiliency and my grit and my creativity as I'm trying to step

00:14:53.620 over different rocks and take different paths. I know that it will help me be calm and catch my

00:14:59.160 breath. If I were in some sort of physical situation that had dire consequences that could

00:15:04.640 potentially arise guys, it's easy. It's always easier to take the path of least resistance.

00:15:11.300 And there's times that we certainly should. Maybe I'll talk about that on a different podcast,

00:15:14.960 but I think you would be better off the majority of the time, considering that there is a more

00:15:20.560 challenging path, that there is a tougher path. And that's one that you ought to at least consider

00:15:26.000 if not explore. So let's recap these guys. And then we'll call it a day. Number one,

00:15:30.640 taking the path of most resistance is going to build up your resiliency, your grit,

00:15:34.300 your fortitude. Number two, it's going to help you flex and exercise that creative muscle.

00:15:39.180 That's going to help you get through situations that you are inevitably going to face in life.

00:15:43.880 And number three, it's going to help you build up a level of calmness and clarity and confidence that

00:15:49.300 perhaps you just didn't possess beforehand. And when you have these three things, resiliency,

00:15:55.360 creativity, calmness, when there is a challenging situation, there is a threat or an uncomfortable

00:16:01.060 conversation or some sort of obstacle and trial that you're faced and tasked with overcoming,

00:16:05.940 you will have developed and harness the tools that will allow you to overcome that,

00:16:10.720 which is something that you need as a man for yourself. And it's something that other people,

00:16:15.080 your family, your friends, your business, your community, it's the things that people are looking

00:16:20.560 for in you as a leader. So guys, with that, I will call it a day. Just one quick reminder of what I

00:16:26.980 mentioned earlier in the podcast, the legacy event. This is a father son event. I think I failed to

00:16:32.100 mention that it's for boys between the ages of eight to 15. So if you have a son, a nephew,

00:16:37.280 a neighborhood kid, somebody that you are looking over as a father figure, please consider taking them

00:16:43.120 to the inaugural order of man legacy event, September 20th through the 23rd, 2018 in the hills and

00:16:49.500 mountains of Southern Utah. You can go to order of man.com slash legacy to learn more again,

00:16:55.160 order of man.com slash legacy guys until next week, take action, take the path of most resistance

00:17:02.460 and become the man you are meant to be. Thank you for listening to the order of man podcast.

00:17:08.340 You're ready to take charge of your life and be more of the man you were meant to be.

00:17:12.140 We invite you to join the order at order of man.com.

00:17:19.500 Thank you.

Order of Man - July 06, 2018

FFN 115： The Path of Most Resistence

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