Order of Man - FFN 116： How to Find a Hobby

00:00:00.000 You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest, embrace your fears, and boldly chart

00:00:05.000 your own path. When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time, every time.

00:00:10.440 You are not easily deterred or defeated, rugged, resilient, strong. This is your life. This is who

00:00:17.240 you are. This is who you will become. At the end of the day, and after all is said and done,

00:00:22.800 you can call yourself a man. Gentlemen, what is going on today? My name is Ryan

00:00:27.720 Michler, and I am the host and founder of this podcast, The Order of Man. I do not have any

00:00:33.180 idea of how long you've been here, but whether you've been here for the first time or you've been

00:00:36.920 here for years, I want to welcome you. This has been a truly, truly great resource for helping

00:00:42.800 hundreds of thousands of men across the planet become better fathers, better husbands, better

00:00:47.900 business owners, better community leaders. With that end and that goal, we bring on the world's

00:00:54.120 most successful men, entrepreneurs, athletes, scholars, New York Times bestselling authors,

00:00:59.780 warriors, any man who has a successful story. We ask them great questions. We deliver those

00:01:05.820 conversations to you, and hopefully that lights a fire under you or inspires you to live life just

00:01:10.400 a little bit differently. If you are new, this is a different show. This is our Friday field notes

00:01:15.120 where you get to listen to me and some of the things that I've been thinking about from throughout

00:01:19.180 the week. And this subject and this topic that I want to discuss today is all about you. It's about

00:01:24.740 taking care of yourself. It's providing energy and learning how to harness energy and to recover and

00:01:32.060 restore and energize yourself so that you can come back into the things that you need to be doing,

00:01:35.880 whether that's relationships or business, more rejuvenized, ready to go and to be more effective.

00:01:42.920 Now, I'm going to get into that here in a minute, but before I do, I want to share with you

00:01:47.000 and make mention of our show sponsor. But more than that, my friends over at Origin, Maine,

00:01:52.260 these guys are doing just some incredible, incredible things in the jujitsu world, but in

00:01:57.000 American manufacturing as well. Everything they do is 100% made in America without compromise.

00:02:03.640 They do geese, rash guards, lifestyle apparel. They're getting into clothing. I mean,

00:02:08.540 their expansion and the things that they're up to is, again, it's inspiring and it's pretty

00:02:14.360 cool to see and be a very, very small part of. But they also have a supplemental lineup that I

00:02:19.020 use. It's their super krill, the joint warfare and their discipline, which is their pre-workout.

00:02:26.160 I also use mulk, which is a protein supplement as well. So I'm using a lot of stuff that they

00:02:30.600 provide. I love their story. I love what they're doing. I love how the geese and the rash guards

00:02:35.260 perform during jujitsu. And I just feel better through the supplements I'm taking, which is partnered

00:02:39.960 up with Jocko. That's Jocko's supplemental line. So guys, if you are interested, check it out.

00:02:44.440 OriginMaine.com slash order of man. Again, that's OriginMaine.com slash order of man. And make sure

00:02:50.780 you use order at checkout. So you get a discount there as well. Now, with that said, let's get into

00:02:56.580 the discussion. It actually ties into jujitsu because what I want to talk with you about today

00:03:02.060 is finding a hobby. Now, I know that when I say that, that you need to find a hobby, you need to find

00:03:07.720 an outlet that there's going to be a lot of men who hear that and their knee jerk reaction is,

00:03:12.240 I don't have time. I don't have energy. I've got these obligations and these priorities and

00:03:18.540 these responsibilities. And I would love to be able to carve out time to do things for me,

00:03:22.600 but I just can't. I can understand where that comes from. I've been there. I've been in situations

00:03:27.880 where I feel like I've been up to my eyeballs or higher in stuff, whether that's business or family

00:03:34.040 or debt. And for me to carve out any space, emotional, mental, physical space for me to do

00:03:40.720 something just for me has seemed like it's impossible. But I'm telling you through experience

00:03:46.320 that if you cannot find a way to carve out time for yourself, to do something that you are interested

00:03:52.680 in, that engages your mind and your body, then you are not going to be effective as you could be.

00:03:59.400 You are going to be effective, but it's probably only going to be for a very, very short period of

00:04:04.640 time until you eventually burn out. And it's going to place burden and strain on the other

00:04:10.740 relationships that I know are important. Your family relationships, your business relationships,

00:04:14.620 it's going to be a struggle. So guys, it is imperative, so imperative that you find a hobby

00:04:21.940 and it doesn't really matter what that hobby is. But I think as a criteria that it should probably

00:04:27.140 engage your mind, it should probably engage your hands and your back and your body. It should be

00:04:32.720 physical in nature, because I think these are the things that help us as men gain that energy and

00:04:38.400 come into the relationships and the other avenues of life, more rejuvenated and ready to tackle those

00:04:44.280 things the way they need to be tackled. And here's the deal. And you've all heard this before.

00:04:48.360 You cannot pour from an empty cup. And yet so many men, that's exactly what they do. They give

00:04:56.340 and they give and they give and they give until they absolutely cannot give anymore. And I appreciate

00:05:02.540 that. I can, I can respect that even to some degree, but this is not a sprint. Life is a long

00:05:11.120 term commitment. And if we want to make it to the end, then we've got to find a way to take care of

00:05:17.080 ourselves. So that's what this is about. What I want to do, because we all, I think we all

00:05:21.100 inherently understand and realize the importance of having a hobby and having friends to spend time

00:05:26.620 with. But what I wanted to do today is just give you some keys, some pointers, some tips that I've

00:05:31.180 used in my life that have helped me find and articulate and spend time in some hobbies that

00:05:36.520 are important to me. And before I get into those five or six tips, I thought what I would do first

00:05:41.340 is just share with you some of my hobbies. One thing I do, I do this weekly, once a week. I don't do it a

00:05:46.800 whole lot and you don't need to do it a whole lot. Just engage in it enough that you can come back

00:05:51.420 into the other avenues of life more, again, rejuvenated and ready to go. But one thing I'm

00:05:56.000 doing is jujitsu. I've been doing that for about two months now. I do it once per week. I know guys

00:06:00.560 are going to hear that and think, Oh, you got to be three, four, five. That's great. I would love to

00:06:04.400 do that. But the fact of the matter is I place priority on other things as well. And maybe I'll do that

00:06:08.800 down the road. But for right now, once a week works for me, Brazilian jujitsu, CrossFit. I also look as a,

00:06:15.100 as a hobby as well. I know that might fall more in, into the line of, of fitness and it certainly

00:06:20.260 is, but it's also a hobby for me. Uh, I also have a 1500 square foot shop out in the back,

00:06:25.980 uh, where I do woodworking. So I'm out there and building shelves and built a little dollhouse slash

00:06:32.460 bunk bed for my daughter and bunk beds for my boys and some bookshelves and some different things.

00:06:39.020 Like it's, it's been, it's been a good experience and it just gets me out of the house and it's my

00:06:43.660 space. Uh, the other thing that I've really got heavily involved with over the past, I would say

00:06:48.340 12 months or so is archery and bow hunting, which has just been an amazing, amazing outlet,

00:06:55.060 amazing hobby. I've met so many great people through the practice of archery. And in fact,

00:07:01.400 as you're listening to this, I'm spending some time with the guys at mountain ops at the total

00:07:05.720 archery challenge this week, as you're listening to this, which is, uh, pretty cool. It's allowed me

00:07:10.740 to explore that Avenue as well. And it's engaged again, my body and my mind and my spirit. And I

00:07:15.100 enjoy those things. So those are a couple of things that I do for fun. Now, what you do for fun,

00:07:19.180 uh, could be that it could be painting. It could be working on cars. I mean, there's so many different,

00:07:25.320 you could maybe make knives. Uh, I shoot guns is one thing I also like to do. There's so many

00:07:30.120 different avenues to explore. So let's get into these key points here. These couple of tips that I

00:07:34.940 wanted to share with you. Number one, you've just, you've got to explore broadly. I think so many guys,

00:07:40.420 what they do is they look at what other people are doing and they think, well, I should be doing

00:07:44.520 that. Or what's the one thing that my buddy's doing that I should be doing. And I'm just going

00:07:48.920 to go all in on that. I would suggest that you don't do that. And instead you explore broadly,

00:07:53.740 if it comes to your mind and it seems semi engaging, maybe you hear somebody playing the

00:07:59.960 guitar and you think, Oh, I should try that. Then yes, you should absolutely try that. That's the

00:08:04.880 only indicator that it's worth giving a shot is the fact that you're even semi interested in it.

00:08:09.880 So before you get too deep into one hobby and pigeonhole yourself into one thing and spend

00:08:15.820 countless hours and thousands of thousands of dollars, I would suggest to you that you just

00:08:21.080 worry about exploring broadly. If it comes to your mind, if it's semi interesting to you,

00:08:25.940 if it sounds intriguing or fascinating, then just do it. Just try it. You know, I know I've talked on

00:08:32.800 the podcast before about the power of saying no, and it's really important that you learn where to

00:08:36.780 say yes and no. Uh, but it is important that you also learn to say yes to some opportunities that

00:08:43.360 maybe you just haven't said yes to before. How often do we limit ourselves in our ability to find

00:08:49.500 new things that are going to be interesting to us because we tell ourselves we don't have the time

00:08:53.900 and the default answer is no. So maybe instead of saying no so much, these hobbies and these potential

00:08:58.900 interests that you should say yes, and you should explore broadly, try as many things as possible.

00:09:04.020 And weed those things out that aren't interesting to you after you try them, weed them out very quickly

00:09:08.640 so that you can explore something else. And I think through that process and understanding that it is

00:09:14.120 a process, you'll be able to find something that is engaging for you and that you can dive deeper

00:09:19.360 into. So that's number one, explore broadly. Number two, just ask your friends, ask your friends,

00:09:24.400 ask your family members, ask your colleagues and your coworkers, the people that you're surrounded

00:09:28.200 with, ask them what they do for fun. Maybe they're into four-wheeling. Maybe they're into

00:09:32.540 rock climbing. Maybe they're into gardening. Again, it doesn't matter what it is. Maybe they're

00:09:38.340 into grilling or working on the Traeger grill, which is something that we're doing. It's a smoker,

00:09:42.480 which is pretty fun and engaging for me and my wife, but ask other people what it is that they're

00:09:48.780 doing. And then again, explore broadly. If something sounds fascinating to you, one of my friends is

00:09:54.220 getting into oil painting. He just does an unbelievable job on his portraits and it's engaging. It's interesting

00:10:00.300 to me. So I think I'm going to consider giving it a try. Now I'm not going to spend thousands of

00:10:04.760 dollars. I'm not going to invest a bunch of time and energy and money and resources into it. I'm just

00:10:08.700 going to give it a shot because that's something he does. It sounds intriguing. It sounds interesting

00:10:13.460 to me and I owe it to myself to give it a shot. So that's number two, ask the people in your life

00:10:18.560 what they're doing. And if something catches your eye or it catches your ear, give it a shot. See what

00:10:23.300 you think. You're not committing to anything other than giving it a try. Number three, educate yourself.

00:10:28.120 I mean, we live in a world where access to information is so, so readily available more

00:10:35.240 so than any other time in history. I mean, you can read a book on any topic in a matter

00:10:39.900 of a couple of minutes. If I make a recommendation to you, you can jump on Amazon, download it to

00:10:43.980 your phone or your Kindle or whatever digital device you're using. And you could be reading

00:10:48.700 that within two minutes on a particular subject, but you've got things like YouTube. And of course

00:10:53.340 we've got social media. And the one that I use quite a bit is I go into Instagram.

00:10:58.020 And I use the search function and you can find all kinds of different hobbies and activities

00:11:02.080 and interest and things that just sound engaging, but educate yourself, learn. And the more that

00:11:07.040 you can learn, I think you're naturally going to find that you're going to gravitate towards

00:11:11.760 certain topics, certain interests, certain activities, certain discussions. And that's a

00:11:16.500 pretty good indicator. That should be an alert or a flag, if you will, that maybe this is an

00:11:21.320 avenue that you should consider exploring. And again, it's not about pigeonholing yourself.

00:11:25.540 It's simply just trying and it's giving yourself permission to try everything that comes into

00:11:32.320 your mind. I think that's going to be a huge help for you. So number three, educate yourself.

00:11:37.360 Now, number four, and this is the one that I think most guys are guilty of not doing.

00:11:44.560 And that is that you've got to carve out the time. If you are genuinely interested in finding

00:11:49.520 an activity, finding a hobby that's going to engage you, then you've got to carve out time

00:11:54.480 during your day. Every time I make a post about me working out or going running in the middle of

00:11:58.940 the day or any number of hobbies that I participate in, inevitably I get somebody that says, well,

00:12:04.320 wouldn't it be nice if dot, dot, dot. And what they're really saying is that they don't have the

00:12:09.260 time or they don't think they have the time. Every single one of us has the same 24 hours in the day.

00:12:15.020 It's just a matter of how we use that time. And if you carve out 15 minutes, 30 minutes,

00:12:21.360 an hour, even two hours out of every week, and you're deliberate and you're intentional about

00:12:26.820 that, I'd be willing to bet that if you focused on it, you wouldn't even know where that time went.

00:12:32.760 It wouldn't impact the rest of your life. And also guys, as you're carving out time,

00:12:38.080 make sure that you're setting a very clear expectation and boundary with the people who are

00:12:43.740 going to be affected by the decisions you're making. For example, if you dedicate Wednesday

00:12:50.100 nights to archery, for example, then it would probably be a pretty good idea that you communicate

00:12:57.360 that with your wife and your kids. Because if you don't, they're going to step over that. Not to be

00:13:03.380 devious or anything like that, but they don't know because you haven't articulated that. So part of

00:13:08.560 carving out the time is setting the standard, setting the expectation and communicating,

00:13:14.300 opening your mouth and letting the words pass through your lips that you are going to be

00:13:18.640 dedicating that time. Now, if Wednesday nights don't work out for the family dynamic and you and

00:13:22.860 your wife talk about that and she says, you know, Tuesday nights would be better. Great. Then carve out

00:13:27.800 Tuesday nights and make that work. It's really, really important that you are intentional and

00:13:33.300 deliberate about carving out the time of your day and letting everybody know what it is,

00:13:38.620 what the expectation is. So they're not stepping over that boundary. So again, you can come back

00:13:43.140 and you might even explain in a way that helps them see that this is not only advantageous for you,

00:13:49.020 but it's advantageous for them. That if you go participate in this hobby, that you'll come back

00:13:54.580 recharged. I know, for example, just last night and yesterday I was having a bad day. I was off

00:13:59.520 mentally. I was just, I was out of it as weird. It was, I was in a weird place. And my wife

00:14:03.900 recognized that. And she said to me, Hey, why don't you just go for a run? And so that evening

00:14:08.920 last, last night I went for a run. I went for about three miles up the little mountain we've got

00:14:13.880 here. And I came back and I just felt better. It was good for me. She recognized it. She knows

00:14:21.120 that when I go and I take time for myself and I listen to a podcast or get into my own head for a

00:14:25.520 little while and think about the things that I'm thinking about, that I come back into the

00:14:29.420 relationship better off. So understand that for yourself and make sure you're explaining it to

00:14:34.660 the people that you care about and you have an obligation to serve. The next one guys, dive deep.

00:14:41.660 All right. We've talked about exploring broadly. We've talked about asking friends what it is

00:14:45.100 they're doing. We've talked about educating yourself on the different ideas and topics and

00:14:48.740 hobbies you could participate in. We've talked about carving out the time. Now, once you have tried

00:14:54.440 some hobbies and activities, and once you see what you like and you have an affinity for,

00:14:59.040 and see what maybe you don't like, now is the time to start diving deep. Now is the time to start

00:15:05.120 investing maybe more time, a little more energy, a little bit more resources into mastering that

00:15:11.680 skill. You know, when I went out and I started to get into archery, I didn't buy the bow immediately.

00:15:17.640 I went out and I tested it. And I asked some friends who had done archery, if I could shoot their bow,

00:15:22.820 I just had a buddy of mine do the same thing. He called me over the weekend and he said,

00:15:25.920 Hey man, I'm thinking about getting into archery. Can I go out with you? Of course I want to go out.

00:15:30.040 I want to show him what I'm doing. And I want to share that hobby and interest with him. And he

00:15:33.980 went out and he shot and he enjoyed it, but he didn't invest a lot of time. And we were out there

00:15:37.640 for two hours on a Saturday morning. We spent some time together, had some laughs, had some good

00:15:42.900 conversations and did a little archery. Well, he found out that he enjoyed it, that he liked it.

00:15:48.340 And now he's going to dive a little bit deeper and he's going to invest in his first bow. And then

00:15:53.920 after that, he's probably going to dive a little deeper and a little deeper and a little deeper.

00:15:57.460 And so you don't want to commit yourself fully to one thing without exploring broadly. But once

00:16:02.200 you've done that, once you've explored broadly, then dive deep, invest the time, the energy,

00:16:09.260 the resources. And along with that, I would also say, invest in conferences, invest in events,

00:16:16.680 invest in groups that are dedicated to this specific hobby. I told you already that I'm up in Salt

00:16:22.440 Lake as of the recording or release of this podcast, as you're listening to it right now,

00:16:26.720 doing a total archery challenge because I'm invested in it. I'm diving deeper into it because I enjoy

00:16:33.420 what it is I do. I would never have done that two, three, four months ago, but now it makes sense

00:16:38.520 because I realize how much I enjoy it. I realize how much better it makes me and more effective.

00:16:44.560 And again, energized when I come back into the relationship. So that's it guys. I want you to go out.

00:16:49.720 I want you to have a hobby. I see too many guys who are just, again, up to their eyeballs and

00:16:53.880 the responsibilities and the obligations, and they've just capped themselves. I mean,

00:16:58.580 they've just stacked so much stuff onto their plates and they're just not enjoying life.

00:17:04.440 I had somebody that I follow make a post. He said just yesterday that if you knew that this sunrise

00:17:11.500 was the last sunrise that you'd ever see, how would you live your life today? And I know if I'm

00:17:18.680 answering that question and thinking and pondering on that question in all seriousness, it's kind of

00:17:22.960 dismal because I'm doing a lot of things in my life that I don't necessarily enjoy. And I think

00:17:27.360 that I quote unquote, have to be doing. How much time are you carving out for yourself? How much are

00:17:32.920 you enjoying life? How much do you smile? How much do you laugh? How much fun do you have with other

00:17:38.340 friends? How much do you just let go of some of those burdens and those responsibilities and

00:17:42.420 obligations from time to time? I know that's weird coming from me considering what we've been

00:17:46.420 talking about for the past three and a half years, but I want you to be a better man.

00:17:50.300 I want to be a better man myself. And in order to do that, we have to unplug from those obligations

00:17:55.720 and responsibilities periodically and systematically so that we can engage in the things that energize,

00:18:01.720 rejuvenate, and uplift us. So guys, go out there, find a hobby, explore those hobbies and those

00:18:07.520 interests broadly. Ask your friends, ask your family members, coworkers, educate yourself on what's out

00:18:13.160 there, carve out the time, make the time to do it every single week, communicate that time commitment

00:18:18.920 with the people who are going to be impacted by that commitment. And then once you have that dive

00:18:23.260 deep into one or two, or maybe even three hobbies that you find you really, really enjoy guys. I hope

00:18:28.660 that helps. I hope that gives you some insights. Drop me a line, shoot me an email, connect with me on

00:18:33.040 Instagram at Ryan Mickler. My last name is spelled M I C H L E R. Tag me in your posts on Instagram or

00:18:39.660 Facebook with what hobbies you're engaged in. Take a look at my Instagram profile. You can see what

00:18:44.540 it is I'm doing and see if any of those interests you, but I'm really interested. I'd be really

00:18:48.760 interested in what you are doing and how it's improving your life when you find the time and

00:18:53.980 you carve out that time to pursue a hobby and an interest that's meaningful to you. So gentlemen,

00:19:00.420 until next week, take action, find yourself a hobby, become the man you are meant to be.

00:19:05.640 Thank you for listening to the order of man podcast. You're ready to take charge of your life

00:19:10.700 and be more of the man you were meant to be. We invite you to join the order at order of man.com.

Order of Man - July 13, 2018

FFN 116： How to Find a Hobby

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