In this episode, Ryan talks about the importance of a man having a team and how a man should build a team. He also talks about what it means to be a man and why a team is so important.
00:00:00.000You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest. Embrace your fears and boldly chart your own path.
00:00:06.020When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time. Every time.
00:00:10.480You are not easily deterred or defeated. Rugged. Resilient. Strong.
00:00:15.500This is your life. This is who you are. This is who you will become.
00:00:19.760At the end of the day, and after all is said and done, you can call yourself a man.
00:00:24.720Gentlemen, what is going on today? My name is Ryan Michler, and I am the host and the founder of this podcast, The Order of Man.
00:00:32.040If you've been tuning in for any amount of time, you know we're all about interviewing the world's most successful men,
00:00:36.860extracting some of their wisdom and their information, and then sharing that with you through the podcast that you're listening to right now.
00:00:44.280And every single Friday, you get to listen to me, which is what you're doing right now.
00:00:48.060You get to hear me and my thoughts from throughout the week about some subjects and some conversations that I've been having.
00:00:53.720And today, in particular, I want to talk about how a man builds a team.
00:00:57.440And this is so, so critical, I think now more than it ever has been.
00:01:01.840But before I get into that conversation, I want to share just a couple of quick announcements and do a little bit of housekeeping here.
00:01:07.740You'll probably notice and hear in my voice that it's a little deeper than it normally is, and that's because I've been under the weather.
00:01:15.600So you'll just have to bear with me as we work through this conversation today.
00:01:19.540Other than that, I wanted to let you know that I have just released our tribe builder course.
00:01:26.560This is a course designed to help you as a man build your own tribe revolving around a message that's important to you or a conversation or a project or a product or whatever that may look like.
00:01:38.340I've spent three and a half years researching and getting very good at building large audiences like the one within Order of Man.
00:01:47.060And I want to pull back the curtain in a way and share some insights into how I've been able to do that.
00:01:51.480So if you're interested in building your own audience and building your own tribe and turning potentially a side hustle or a project or a hobby that you're doing on the side into a profitable, potentially even full-time business like I've been able to do over the past three years within Order of Man,
00:02:08.260I would encourage you to join us quickly because we only have 20 spots and I think we've already locked in six or seven of those spots.
00:02:16.040So if you're interested, head to orderofman.com slash tribe builder.
00:02:19.980I know it's a little different than I normally talk about, but that is something a lot of guys ask about and I thought I'd share that with you.
00:02:30.820Oh, actually, I do have one other thing.
00:02:32.520If you would, if you've gotten any value from anything that we're doing here, I would just ask that you please leave us a rating and review.
00:02:38.960I think we're up to about 1300 ratings and reviews, but I know there's so many of you, so many of you who are listening, who hopefully are getting value from what we're doing,
00:02:49.520but haven't done your part in leaving us a rating and review.
00:02:53.280Just take two minutes, pull over, or when you get to the office or you get done with your workout or whatever it is you're doing right now,
00:03:18.820All right, guys, let's get into the conversation.
00:03:21.160Again, we're talking about how a man builds his team.
00:03:24.280I had made a Facebook post the other day in our, in our Facebook group, which is at facebook.com slash groups slash order of man.
00:03:32.080And I talked about the importance of men working together.
00:03:35.900Now, when I made this post, it was overwhelmingly positive.
00:03:39.700Much of the comments and the engagement was positive and how guys knew they needed to form a team, but they didn't know quite how to do it.
00:03:49.700And so I thought this would make for a great conversation today, but I also got a lot of flack for it, which I was surprised.
00:03:55.120Uh, I got a lot of guys saying, well, I'm a lone wolf.
00:03:58.020Uh, the term that got thrown around quite a bit was this term called Sigma, which anytime you use any sort of Greek or Latin alphabet to describe a man, I kind of tune out a little bit.
00:04:09.980It's the alpha and the beta and the Sigma and all that kind of stuff.
00:04:12.640Uh, essentially what these guys were saying is that they work best alone.
00:04:18.400And while I can certainly see the appeal in that, I just don't believe that's the case.
00:04:25.240I believe that maybe that's a position of arrogance and ego and pride saying that I can do it best on my own, but I know in my own life, and I'm only speaking from personal experience that I cannot grow to the level that I have a desire to grow to.
00:04:39.540Without the help and support of a team physically, mentally, emotionally in every facet of my life.
00:04:48.180This is why I surround myself with good people.
00:04:50.340Uh, this is why I go to industry conferences because the more I surround myself with other high achieving men, the more that I'm able to achieve in my life.
00:04:59.360And it's not osmosis, but there's just something about the power of proximity to other men.
00:05:05.620Now, women, I think are naturally better at this.
00:05:09.120I think inherently, uh, they know how important it is to have bonds and tribes.
00:05:14.400I look at my wife, for example, and every couple of weeks she gets together with her girlfriends.
00:05:19.020Uh, they do a game night and they have conversations about whatever it is they talk about.
00:05:24.260I don't even get involved in that, but I know she's done a great job at doing that.
00:05:27.740And I know a lot of women are like that.
00:05:29.540Your, your wives are probably like that as well, but I don't believe that men have the same ability or desire, or I don't know.
00:05:40.200I don't know exactly what it is, but we just don't band together with, with men as much as I think we ought to, uh, outside of school and maybe some competitive sports, uh, outside of the military, outside of potentially a fraternity in college.
00:05:54.820Once all that stuff is done, then typically I see guys, they go out into the world, they get stuck in the cubicle and they just don't engage.
00:06:03.480And when they find a woman and start having a family, the first thing to go, I'm speaking again from experience here is the relationships with the buddies.
00:06:12.580And as much as I can see the value in going to work and being available for your family, there is just so much value in banding with other men.
00:06:22.880So I'm going to talk with you today about a couple of points as to why this is so important and why I think we ought to be careful of believing that maybe we're a quote unquote Sigma or we're the lone wolf and the danger that comes with that.
00:06:37.680And then I'm also going to talk about some strategies in regards to how you can build your team.
00:06:42.840But the thing that I need to tell you first, before I get into that is a little bit of a disclaimer, because I think what I saw when I made that Facebook post and the feedback that I got, uh, was that some men seem to believe that I meant that forming a team and building a group means that you're not as self-sufficient guys.
00:07:05.880That is not at all what I'm talking about. Those two terms, being a team player, building a team, and then being self-sufficient are not mutually exclusive.
00:07:16.280You can actually be both. You can learn to be self-sufficient. You can learn to stand on your own two feet and at the same time, learn to be a team player and build out a team.
00:07:27.140That's going to help you accomplish whatever it is you want to accomplish. So please don't misunderstand me.
00:07:33.420I'm not saying that you should weaken your position by relying solely on other people, but I am saying that other people can help you progress.
00:07:41.080And in the meantime, you should be working on yourself to become more self-sufficient, getting yourself out of debt, getting in shape, learning everything that you can about your business, getting a new credential, or is it a designation, learning self-defense, securing your, uh, and fortifying your, your home for self-defense and those sorts of things.
00:08:01.560So everything that you can be doing, you should, and, and you should also be working on building out a team.
00:08:07.860So I just wanted to make that disclaimer, because I know there's a lot of guys who say that, that somehow building a team is making you weaker. That just really isn't the case.
00:08:15.820So let's first talk about why building out a team is so important. All right. Number one is having other men who are capable, who are successful, who are doing great things, helps you create a sounding board.
00:08:29.780Cause I know I've had ideas, whether it's family or business ideas where I just thought, man, I've got the greatest idea in the world. And in my head, it sounds great. It sounds perfect. It sounds like it's going to be a phenomenal thing.
00:08:43.100And then I start talking with other men who have gone through what it is I'm trying to accomplish. And even just saying it, I'm like, ah, I don't know how I even thought that this would be a good idea.
00:08:53.940Or we could get ourselves into a situation where we have to make a choice. Maybe it's about a career path or how to raise our children. Or one of the things that I've been dealing with, with some parents is getting my son and their sons into tackle football.
00:09:10.680And just having a sounding board is just a good thing. I mean, if you're isolated and I tend to be pretty isolated, I'm down here in my basement every day, working on the podcast and connecting with people and being on social media, but being isolated is not a good thing.
00:09:24.500I mean, sometimes it's good to be alone. And I do that in the mountain and I ponder and I think, and I reflect about where my life is and what I want it to look like. But other times, solitary confinement is not a good thing. So we need a healthy dose of both, both a sounding board and then the ability to be alone with our, uh, with our own thoughts. So that's number one. Number two is moral and physical support. All right, guys, you cannot do everything that you want on your own.
00:09:52.100You can attempt to do it. And frankly, you might even have some success doing it, but it's not as effective. It's not as efficient as it could be. If you would learn how to humble yourself enough to be gracious and accepting help from other people. And it's not just anybody. It's those men who are achieving what you want to achieve. They're the type of fathers that you want to be. They're the type of business owners or community leaders or husbands that you have aspirations of being like.
00:10:21.120If you can surround yourself with those people, then you're going to have the moral, the emotional, the physical support that you need in order to accomplish your greatest objectives. And along those same lines, I think you're going to expand your horizons. And this is point number three. You're going to expand the way that you think about things.
00:10:42.860See, we create these boxes in our lives and those boxes are based on our own experience and our cultures and our backgrounds and the scripts that people have told us and the things that we've adopted in our minds.
00:10:54.220And we, we form these boxes. The only way to expand our horizons, to tear down the boxes of the walls that we have created is to expose ourself to new information. And that's why when you find a worthy band of brothers, a team of men to work alongside, you expand your ideas, you expand your capacity, you expand your skills.
00:11:16.220And in turn, you're going to see greater results than you previously even recognized were available to you. So point number three is the expansion of ideas and skills. And then number four is just the kick in the pants that you need.
00:11:31.180It's the accountability that every single one of us needs from time to time. There are times where I want to slack off. I want to disengage. I want to coast. I want to take it easy, but I've got men in my life who are holding me accountable. Part of that is through our brotherhood, which is the iron council.
00:11:49.340Uh, but I've got coaches. Uh, but I've got coaches. I've got mentors. I've got people that are informally mentoring me that I aspire to be like and look up to. And all of these individuals help give me the accountability that I need to do the things that I've identified as being important to me.
00:12:06.580So that fourth point is the kick in the pants. It's the accountability that I think you listening to this podcast recognize as being valuable. So again, it's having a sounding board. It's the emotional, moral, and physical support. It's the expansion of ideas and skills. And then it's the accountability that you need to achieve big things in your life.
00:12:27.560So now that we've got that taken care of, you understand, of course, there's more to it than that. Let me explain five strategies. I've written down five here. I take notes and I've got bullet points here of things I want to talk about. And I've identified five ways. Now, again, this list isn't exhaustive. Of course, there's other strategies that you can use. And if you have some insights and ideas about how you built your team, please share those, share those on Facebook, share those on. I'm very active on Twitter, which is at order of man.
00:12:55.880I'm also very, very active on Instagram, which is at Ryan Mickler. And my last name is spelled M I C H L E R. Hit me up on Twitter. Hit me up on Instagram. Let me know what's working for you. Some strategies that you've used to build your team. But here's five that I've used to build teams in my life. So number one, this is critical. This is the most important thing. You've got to wrap your head around the idea that you are going to need to lead the way. See, a lot of guys will say, I really understand the importance of building a team. I know I need to have good
00:13:25.860men around me, but I can't really find anybody or there's no men meeting in my area. And this is a very passive way of looking at it. Like if only somebody else would do it, then I would tap into what they're making or what they've created and all would be well. Well, look, the reality is as many people listen to this podcast, there's a hundred, a thousand, a million people who haven't ever heard of this podcast or aren't interested in self-development.
00:13:52.820So if you want to create a team, a powerful team of men to help you and them succeed and thrive, you're going to have to lead the way. You're going to have to put something together. You're going to be the one who is out recruiting. You're going to be the one who's organizing events and conversations and activities. You have to be the one to lead the way. And look, when you start, people aren't going to show up right away. It's going to take time and it's going to take commitment.
00:14:18.620I think of one of the things in my past is, and I haven't done this for a long time. I need to get back into doing this, but I wanted to play basketball every Tuesday or Wednesday night with just some guys in the community. And I had a friend who wanted to do the same thing. So we would go on Tuesday night and we would show up at nine o'clock at night. Cause that's when the kids were in bed and we could just sneak out and do the thing.
00:14:38.720And we would show up and we'd have one guy, two guys, three guys. And then we'd have one show up the next week. And it took a really long time. I mean, it probably took eight to 10 weeks of us, me and my friends showing up every single Tuesday night at the same time before people got the picture that we were serious about doing this.
00:15:02.280So you have to start, you have to lead the way you have to be consistent. And the more that you can be consistent in doing this and just recognize that you are leading the more successful you're going to be.
00:15:14.040So by the end of our time playing basketball, we would have too many guys show up. We'd have like 20 guys show up for basketball and we have to switch in teams and it just got overwhelming. So we had to nix it and start something else.
00:15:25.920I'm telling you, they will show up. If you're consistent, you recognize that you're not going to be passive on this thing and wait for somebody else to get something set up that it's got to be you as the leader, as the man establishing something and then finding the right people to tap into this team that you're building.
00:15:42.720So that's number one, lead the way. Number two, recruit within your circle. So there's people that, you know, brothers, cousins, fathers, relatives, friends, coworkers, wherever it is.
00:15:55.920That you interact with other people who could potentially make a great member of your band of brothers of your team. But you're not having these types of conversations yet because you're waiting for somebody else to do it.
00:16:07.320So point number one was to lead the way. Now that you have something established and you know, you want to create something, you know, you want to get together on a monthly basis and go shoot or go bowling or go to the game or any number of things that it could be.
00:16:19.740You have to look within your inner circle. Who do you work out with? Who are your coworkers? Who is in your family that could potentially be a strong member of your brotherhood?
00:16:31.300You probably really haven't looked at that at this point because it hasn't been on your mind. But now that it's on your mind, just write, write names down, write people down, think of who could be in this group.
00:16:41.620And then once you recognize, Oh, I like this guy and this guy could potentially be good. And this guy would add a good addition or, or bring something to the team or this guy's valuable because X, Y, and Z good.
00:16:52.040Okay. Now you've identified people that you already have contact with that you can invite to the game or to guys night or fight night, which is one of the things I do or a golf outing or a camping trip.
00:17:04.220I mean, the list goes, it's endless. It goes on and on and on and on. So number two, recruit within your circle inventory, who is in your inner circle and who could potentially, uh, step up in a different level in a different way and include them in your band of brothers.
00:17:18.480I mean, I've done this. In fact, uh, this weekend, I'm going to spend some time with, uh, two friends and their wives and my wife who I've identified who I know casually and informally, but I invited them and their wives out to dinner with me and my wife, because I want to see they're in my inner circle. I want to see where this goes. I like these guys. And, uh, we'll just take it from there. So number two, recruit within your circle.
00:17:41.740Uh, number three is to identify gaps in your team. So, or you personally. So if you recognize, for example, man, I'm just weak in physical fitness, you know, I'm 30 pounds overweight. I've been sitting on the couch for the past three years. I'm not really active. Uh, I noticed my energy levels are down. I'm not sleeping. I've got some illness I'm dealing with and I just really need to ramp up my health and fitness. Well, that's a gap. That's a gap that you need to fill.
00:18:07.740That's a gap that you need to look at. And you need to consider bringing somebody in who's physically fit, who has his health in order and in check, because this is somebody who is going to add value to your life and your team. So if it's health, I'll just take that as an example. Uh, well, a great place to find that person would be at the gym. Maybe there's somebody in your inner circle. Maybe there isn't. And I'll talk about that in a minute. Uh, if it's business, I know when I started my financial planning practice, man, I really, really struggled, especially the first couple of years.
00:18:38.060I had no idea what I was doing. I had no idea how to, uh, how to sell, how to market, how to get appointments, how to convert a point. I just didn't have any idea of what I was doing. It was really, really frustrating. And before I threw in the towel and I was close, I was getting to that point, but I didn't want to throw in the towel because I pride myself on, on seeing things through. I recognize that there was two advisors in my office who perpetually, they were thriving. They were succeeding. They were booking.
00:19:07.880appointments. They were making sales. They were growing their practices. They were generating revenue. They were securing assets. I mean, they were doing a great, great job. And so I recognized these two individuals and it was really hard at first because I didn't want to tell these guys that I didn't have it figured out, but I didn't want to quit either.
00:19:24.280So I did the only thing that I knew how to do at that point, which is I went to them and I said, Hey guys, can I just take you to lunch? And I did that individually for each one of these guys. And both of them said, yes.
00:19:34.900And we sat down over lunch and they gave me a few pointers and a few tips. And eventually I started partnering with these guys and bringing them in on client appointments and sharing the revenue with them. Long story short, without my ability to recognize what I needed.
00:19:48.660And then the humility, the humility to go ask somebody else for some help with something I needed, I would have never thrived in my financial planning practice. And from that day, it exponentially took off. It grew and grew and grew.
00:20:04.200In fact, in fact, in the last four weeks, three, four weeks, I just sold my financial planning practice. And that's in large part because I had a team of other advisors who were successful, who I took a risk and I went out and I identified gaps. And then I filled those gaps with the men who could help me succeed. And of course I created a win-win situation for them. So number three, identify the gaps in your area or in your life.
00:20:29.920Number four is now, and I kind of talked about this a little bit, but you begin to recruit outside of your circle. So I'm not going to drone on and on about this one because I think you get it right. If you've identified a gap in health or business or as father or as a coach or whatever, whatever this looks like, you've identified that now you need to go where these men are. You need to go to the gym.
00:20:53.440You need to get involved in chamber of commerce. If business is a big interest of yours, you need to go where these men are and start recruiting outside of your circle. And this I think is probably the most challenging one for men because we have to let down our pride. We have to let down our ego and our arrogance, and we have to humble ourselves enough to go out, to reach out, to put ourselves in uncomfortable situations.
00:21:17.480And it's never comfortable doing something outside of your quote unquote comfort zone. That's why it's called that. It's never comfortable asking for help because as a man, you're supposed to have it figured out.
00:21:28.260And if you don't have it figured out, somehow you begin to believe as I used to, that I'm less of a man. No, it simply means you never learned it. So you got to learn it somehow, whether that was from your dad or a friend or a colleague or a coworker or whoever it may be, or maybe a mentor.
00:21:43.320And maybe you just haven't learned it yet. And so it's okay to go out into the world and recognize and identify that this person has some things figured out, reach out to that person. What's the worst they're going to say? No, not interested or just brush you off. Okay. Well, you're not at a loss. I mean, you aren't off any worse than you were before. You just need to find somebody else who could potentially fit into your, your band of brothers or your tribe or your mentors or whatever term you want to use.
00:22:10.260So start looking at people outside of your circle and then find ways to engage, find ways to go where they go, find ways to help them win, find ways to buy their products.
00:22:19.960A lot of people ask me how I've been able to connect with guys like Andy Frisilla and Tim Kennedy and Jocko Willink and Grant Cardone and all of the wonderful people I've had on the podcast.
00:22:31.340Very simply, I help them win. I invest in them. I invest my time and my energy and my resources. And it's not at my expense. I mean, I'm getting a lot. They're getting value.
00:22:41.640It's win-win situations. And I've been able to build a loose band of brothers simply by adding value and helping influential people win.
00:22:50.920And you can do the same thing. I'm not special. I'm not particularly talented or gifted when it comes to connecting. I'm not ultra wealthy.
00:22:58.820It's just that I am willing to let go of my arrogance and pride enough to reach out and to help other people win.
00:23:06.080So that's number four, recruit outside of your circle. And then the last point that I want to share with you is that you've now got to begin to test.
00:23:13.360You've got to test the members of your tribe. And when I say this, what I'm talking about is testing whether or not they're on the same page as you, because you might identify some people who can really help you thrive and succeed, and you can help them thrive and succeed.
00:23:29.940And for whatever reason, they're just not interested. Maybe they're at a different level. I mean, I've had people, for example, that I've reached out to who are on a different level when it comes to their business acumen and success,
00:23:42.320who have completely brushed me off or ignored me altogether. I used to let that get to me. I try not to let that get to me now because I realized these people are busy.
00:23:52.540They have their own lives. They probably got so many demands for their time and their attention and their resources. I just write it off as for whatever reason, they're not interested in the same thing that I am.
00:24:03.920And I don't take that personally. I just recognize that this just isn't a good fit. It's not a good fit for them. And it certainly isn't a good fit for me.
00:24:12.320So I check that individual off the list and I move on. I move on to somebody who potentially is more interested or I could help a little bit better or there's a better fit there.
00:24:21.120So you've got to find out who is really interested in this. You can do this by asking questions. You can do this by talking about higher level conversations as opposed to the weather or the baseball game last night.
00:24:35.800Like really start asking questions, really start having some of these conversations. And you're going to see that there's some people want one person that I can think of is, uh, is Sal, the Stefano. He's with mind pump media.
00:24:46.680Him and I have forged a connection and a bond. I like what he talks about him and I are very much on the same page with a lot of our discussions. Uh, we just did like a two and a half hour podcast and it went by so quick because I really enjoyed our dialogue and conversation and the level at which he was thinking.
00:25:03.020So this is somebody that I obviously want to get to know more and connect with better because there's, there's a connection there and I can help him. He can help me. And we create win-win situations. So test your tribe. And you're going to find again, some people just aren't cut out and that's okay.
00:25:19.520It's not like you have to ban them from talking with them, but maybe they're just not perfect for the team that you're trying to create. So I hope that gives you some insight guys. I know I can't share everything with you, but at the end of the day, you just got to go out there. You've got to experiment. You've got to try. When I started order of man, my goal was to create a movement and a project that would help bridge the gap.
00:25:43.620And I remember this specifically thinking about this in regards to what I wanted three and a half years ago. And I wanted to bridge the gap between what we as men know and what we actually do. And I would suggest to you that you could listen to this podcast. You could consume every other podcast out in the world. You can read every book that I recommend. You can go to every conference and seminar and event, and you can do all of that stuff and yet get nowhere.
00:26:11.820Almost like running on the treadmill. You're running and running and running and running and you feel like you're quote unquote doing the work and yet you're not getting anywhere. You've got to go out and you've got to experiment. You've got to test. You've got to see what works. You've got to put yourself out there. You've got to drop the pride. You've got to invest some time and energy. You've got to lead the way and be consistent. All of the things I talked about today is not an easy process. It's not. It's not going to fall in your lap, but it shouldn't fall in your lap.
00:26:40.780Because if it did, you wouldn't appreciate it the way that I appreciate my team because I've gone out and I've worked my tail off to ensure that I have the right men in my circle that I can help win and in turn will help me win at a different level.
00:26:56.920And a lot of times in a level that I never thought possible. That's how I've been able to build this movement. That's how I've been able to get in shape. That's how I've been able to be a better father and a better husband. And just frankly, a better man in general.
00:27:10.040I used to think that I could go at it alone. And you know what? I could. And you could too. And odds are that you probably will create a pretty decent life for yourself if you try. But I'm telling you, exponential results come from building a qualified team of men around you who want you to succeed, who you can help succeed.
00:27:32.860You guys are on the same page. You're thinking in higher levels and you're doing big things in your life. So that's my words of encouragement. That's my challenge to you. Go out. Don't listen to this stuff as much as you put this stuff into practice.
00:27:45.440And let me know again on Instagram at Ryan Mickler, M-I-C-H-L-E-R or Twitter at order of man, very active on both of those platforms. Let me know what's working for you. Let me know who's in your band of brothers. Let me know what you need. Give us some guidance, some direction, some resources. Again, this is all about us as men working together collectively to produce better outcomes for all of us.
00:28:07.360So I'll leave you with that. And I'll let you get to your weekend. Until next week, gentlemen, take action, build a team and become the man you are meant to be.
00:28:18.240Thank you for listening to the Order of Man podcast. You're ready to take charge of your life and be more of the man you were meant to be. We invite you to join the order at orderofman.com.