Forgiving Your Father ｜ FRIDAY FIELD NOTES
Episode Stats
Words per Minute
189.44008
Summary
In this episode, Ryan Michler shares a personal story about his relationship with his father and how it shaped him into the man he is today. He also talks about the legacy event he hosted earlier this year called the "The Legacy Event" and the feedback he received from it.
Transcript
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You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest. Embrace your fears and boldly chart
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your own path. When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time. Every time.
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You are not easily deterred or defeated. Rugged. Resilient. Strong. This is your life. This is who
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you are. This is who you will become. At the end of the day, and after all is said and done,
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you can call yourself a man. Gents, what's going on today? My name is Ryan Michler and I am the
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host and the founder of this podcast and the global movement that is Order of Man, which
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is a movement to reclaim and restore masculinity. I'm glad that you're here, whether you're new
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or you've been listening for four and a half, almost five years now. We need more men in
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this battle and I couldn't be more honored to stand shoulder to shoulder with you. If
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you are new, this is a podcast dedicated to giving you the conversations that you need
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to step up and become more capable as a husband, a father, a business owner, a leader inside
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of your community and inside the walls of your home. And we're doing that through obviously
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the conversations that we're having here. We've got our interview show. We've got the
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Wednesday, ask me anything. And then we've got this, your Friday field notes. I'm going
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to get into the Friday field notes here in just a minute. It's a little bit different than
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it normally is. But before I get into that, I wanted to make another announcement of our Order
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of Man main event that's happening this year. I think it's roughly three weeks. That's August
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10th and 11th, 2019. We're going to be here for some competition for the betterment of
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each other. 75 men working together to help flesh out some of their battle plans for the
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next 90 days. My goal is to have every man who comes to this event, walk away with a very
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clear, actionable strategy in four key areas of his life in order to accomplish more in the
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next 90 days than potentially you have all year. So if you want the camaraderie, you want
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the competition, you want access to the framework of the battle plan, and you want to come and meet
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and hang out with me and the rest of the Order of Man guys, then make sure you get registered.
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Orderofman.com slash main event. And main is in the state main. So Orderofman.com slash
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main event. I'm looking forward to seeing you there again, August 10th and 11th. And by the way,
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if you're in the Iron Council, our exclusive brotherhood, you get a opportunity for the exclusive
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Iron Council dinner on the evening of the ninth. Again, orderofman.com slash main event. Hope to see
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you there. With that said, I want to get into the Friday field notes. This one's a little different
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because you're not going to hear from me today live. You're actually going to hear a recording
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from one of our events that I did earlier this year. It was called the legacy event. And I'll be sure as
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new ones come on board to tell you when those are. But basically it's a father son event. And at the
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graduation dinner at the legacy event, I shared a personal story of mine with the relationship I
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had with my father. And I wanted to talk with you about this, or at least share this recording with
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you. Because I had a conversation with a good friend of mine and some of the guys that he works
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with just yesterday. And as we were talking, we talked about forgiving fathers and how our fathers
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impacted us both positively and negatively. And the review or some of the feedback that I had received
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from these guys was that they really, really resonated with my story of my father and my path
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to forgiveness. And if they resonated with it, I'm sure there's thousands and thousands, tens,
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maybe even hundreds of thousands, maybe even millions of men out there who have some sort of
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strained relationship with their father and need to find it in their heart to forgive, need to ask for
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forgiveness, need to maybe even accept some apology from their father. So this is a very personal story
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for me. I've never really shared it outside of that legacy event. And then what I shared yesterday with
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these guys. And based on the feedback, I thought I'd share it with you. So it's a very quick recording,
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but I think it's powerful. I think it'll help you. And then I issued a challenge towards the end of the
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recording as well. And I encourage you to take me up on that challenge and well, you'll hear it when
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you get to it. All right, guys, enjoy. And hopefully this serves you in some way.
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Unfortunately, my mom and dad split when I was three years old. That's another stepfather's coming
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to my life, but my dad and I were as close as we could be. I'd go visit him on the summers.
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I remember playing Legos. I remember he would cook for us. There was, there was glimpses of that
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father-son relationship. And as I got older and he got onto his life and I got into sports and
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jobs and chasing girls around and all the things that we do as young men, we lost some of that
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contact. And about four years ago, it's going to be hard for me. About four years ago, he had a heart
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attack. And I didn't pay it much attention, quite frankly. I didn't feel like I owed him anything.
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I didn't feel like we were that connected, felt like we were pretty distant, not only physically,
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but emotionally as well. And I didn't give him much attention during that difficult time that he must
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have been going through. And fortunately he recovered and did pretty well. And we kind of got back onto our
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pattern of the way that we behaved. And we'd touch base periodically. And my mom would say, call your dad.
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And my mom would tell him to call your son. And that's kind of how it went. And then two years ago,
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he had another heart attack. And my knee jerk reaction to my thought was, he'll be fine. He had
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a heart attack a couple of years ago, he'll be fine. So I didn't give him much attention. I didn't pay
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much attention, thought everything would be fine. Well, he ended up being in the hospital for about
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a week and a half. And I neglected it. Neglected, neglected, pushed it off, didn't feel like I owed
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him anything. And my mom called me and she says, your dad's in pretty bad shape. His other organs were
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starting to shut down. And I said, he'll be fine. He's in good care. He'll be fine. She called me a
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couple of days later. She said, you need to get down here to California. And I took my two boys,
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my two oldest boys, Eli and Breckin. And I was driving down there.
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And I was 30 minutes away. My mom said, where are you? I said, I'm on my way. She said, okay, get here
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quick. So I got there and she came up. When I got to the hospital, she gave me a big hug. She says,
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And there's a lot that I think that he probably would have said that he would have done differently.
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I forgive him for his mistakes and his shortcomings.
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And I want you to have some real conversations.
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The conversations that I wish I would have been able to have
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And it's allowed me to be a better father in my life.