Order of Man - Garbage In, Garbage Out, Relationship Triggers, and False Idolization ｜ ASK ME ANYTHING

00:00:00.120 Example or scenario of maintaining frame would be coming home from work after a bad day.

00:00:04.940 Maybe you lost a client. Maybe your boss is frustrated with you. Maybe your job's on the

00:00:09.320 chopping block. Who knows? It could be any number of things. And you can come home and still maintain

00:00:14.300 frame and you can say, hey hon, just want to let you know, bad day at the office today. Lost a big

00:00:19.440 client, pretty frustrated about the way that it went. It's going to represent a sizable decrease

00:00:24.080 in income to the business and I'm concerned about it. And here's how you maintain frame, guys.

00:00:30.260 It's this phrase right here. And here's what I'm going to do about it.

00:00:34.920 All right, brother, we're back for another Ask Me Anything. Good to see you. We're getting back on

00:00:38.780 our regular schedule. So we've been off. I guess that happens during the holidays. You know, just

00:00:43.800 things come up, extracurricular activities, family outings, trips, busy with work, trying to catch up,

00:00:51.780 all that kind of stuff. But here we are. We're going to stay on this schedule now.

00:00:55.160 Yeah, I love it. It's a good example though, right? We pivot, we adjust, we still make it

00:00:59.740 happen, right? And, you know, often I'm sure you could relate to this in your past where

00:01:05.460 if it wasn't aligned with the expectations or the way you wanted to do it, you'd probably kick the

00:01:11.820 can and like, ah, we'll just skip this week, right? But, you know, you've been awesome. In fact,

00:01:16.860 it's impressive to think that you've never missed an episode on this podcast for, what, 10 years?

00:01:23.280 I mean, that's pretty crazy. Yeah, and there's been a couple of replays that I've done, you know,

00:01:27.720 when I was in a really dark time of my life, when I was going through my divorce, where

00:01:31.980 I did a few replays. I might've done two or three, but every single week for, like you said,

00:01:38.280 the past 10 years, we've put out a podcast. And when we started doing two, we've never missed one

00:01:43.240 of those. And we started doing three, we've never missed one of those. So there has never been

00:01:47.540 a time where we've committed to releasing a podcast episode that we haven't for 10 years.

00:01:55.020 You know, it is fascinating too, because I think this is what's required to be successful.

00:02:00.440 I hear so many men often complain about other people's success. Like, oh, that guy has great

00:02:08.940 connections or that guy's really intelligent with that thing. Or he comes from a background of wealth

00:02:17.160 and abundance, or he just got lucky. These are all things that men will say. And

00:02:23.560 it's just not true. Now, some of those things exist. I do believe there are a series of fortunate

00:02:32.080 events that people have. You know, I was born to a really good mom who cared about me. I was born in

00:02:38.660 this great country. I was born with, you know, relative intelligence, depending on who you ask.

00:02:45.680 I was born with, um, uh, good health. You know, that's something that I've enjoyed that a lot of

00:02:52.980 people are just born without. And so sure, there are some fortunate events and there are some things

00:02:58.400 that happen favorably outside of your control. But I've often said that for men like me, and I'm sure

00:03:06.500 there's a lot of guys who can relate with, with my story and the things that I've gone through and

00:03:10.840 you as well, is that we don't have the luxury of missing weeks. We don't have the luxury of

00:03:18.460 not showing up fully or not learning how to get better or not being resilient or adaptive or

00:03:26.580 flexible. We just don't have the luxury of doing that. And if you want to be successful in life in

00:03:31.620 any endeavor, then it's going to require all of you for a very long time.

00:03:35.800 Totally. Well, and I don't know, like it's, it's perfect. In fact, yesterday I was speaking with

00:03:42.520 some high school students around goal setting and the idea that where the difference between

00:03:50.400 success for most individuals is those willing to be consistent and put in the reps. Right. And I used

00:03:56.800 an example of, of Michael Phelps. A lot of people don't realize, right. Well, obviously one of the most

00:04:02.040 decorated Olympians in history, when he was a teenager, a teenager, he had a regiment around

00:04:11.180 sleeping, around reps on the pole, mental meditations, diet. As a teenager, he started defining the reps

00:04:23.300 necessary to be an Olympian. He wasn't just, I mean, now is he talented? Of course, all those other

00:04:31.920 things. But you take, I'm sure if we asked him and you took away all the reps and all the discipline

00:04:38.040 and all the structure that he had to be consistent with, he wouldn't have been an Olympian.

00:04:43.220 No, no way. And you know, what's interesting, I watched a documentary on him one time and they

00:04:49.600 were talking about, among other things, his physical stature and how he's built. He is quite

00:04:56.600 literally built as the perfect specimen for swimming in his events, the way his torso is,

00:05:02.640 the way his legs are, the way his feet are webbed or something like it was crazy stuff.

00:05:06.600 He's literally built to swim, but that doesn't discount what you're saying because there's

00:05:12.820 plenty of people who are built with an aptitude for certain things, or at least the potential

00:05:17.920 for greatness and don't tap into it. You know, another documentary I just watched with my oldest

00:05:23.500 son, he's so into lacrosse, is Brennan O'Neill, one of the greatest lacrosse players of all

00:05:28.780 time, probably at this point. And he's fairly young. And we watched how he went from, you

00:05:36.440 know, an 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13 year old kid to just becoming this absolute powerhouse of

00:05:42.820 a lacrosse player. And it doesn't hurt that he's 6'4", 240 pounds and just purely and naturally

00:05:49.380 athletic. That doesn't hurt. But I know all sorts of athletic people who aren't playing

00:05:56.280 sports. I know all sorts of intelligent people who are broke. I know all sorts of otherwise

00:06:03.460 physically capable people who aren't doing anything with their life. I know all sorts of

00:06:08.000 kind, empathetic, gracious people who don't have good, healthy relationships. So it takes more

00:06:13.920 than just a natural aptitude for a thing to have the results that you want in life.

00:06:20.360 Totally. This is crazy. I'm not a scientist. I have no idea if this is true. But it makes

00:06:25.840 you wonder if part of the genetics of Michael Phelps was also formed during his growing years

00:06:33.160 at because of all the swimming he did as a teenager while he was growing. Or was that a

00:06:39.760 byproduct like what he had been, what he was just if he never swam? Or was all the swimming

00:06:46.380 almost primed him and molded him into who he was as an adult?

00:06:54.760 Yeah, that's an interesting question. I mean, if I were to take 10 male athletes, let's say

00:07:00.180 they're all 25, 30 year old male athletes and they're great at their profession. I could

00:07:06.160 if I didn't know what sport they played, I think I could probably make a pretty educated guess and

00:07:12.900 be right about 80 to 90% of the time just by looking at their body type, which tells me that our

00:07:20.380 bodies as human beings are incredible adaptive machines. If I wanted to be an endurance athlete,

00:07:26.780 now I don't have a long, I don't have long legs. I don't have a long stride. So, you know,

00:07:32.200 that's something that I would have to fight against. But if I trained like an endurance athlete,

00:07:36.100 I would begin to look like an endurance athlete.

00:07:39.360 Certainly if you did it when you were younger as well, when you were growing still.

00:07:43.660 Yeah.

00:07:44.120 I think there is probably truth. Again, I don't know either, but I think there probably is truth

00:07:49.020 the way our muscle development in those formative years, the amount of testosterone that's coursing

00:07:53.680 through our bodies probably even has to do with bone density, I would imagine. Yeah, you know,

00:08:01.080 this is also order lining on a discussion about evolution. And usually when you talk about this,

00:08:07.240 there's two sides of the spectrum, creationist and evolution. And I actually believe in both.

00:08:13.280 I think human beings are continuing to evolve biologically based on our surroundings, our

00:08:21.240 circumstances. And you know, what's interesting is, you know, you even get into the world of addiction

00:08:26.080 addiction and certain mindsets that I've seen that are hereditary. So, you know, addiction is

00:08:33.240 hereditary. That's an interesting thing. Some addictions. But even the way that people think

00:08:39.520 about life is not just, it's not all nurture. Some of it is nature. It's hereditary. And it's passed

00:08:46.620 through the genes, which is just fascinating to me. So we're incredible. And I went to this

00:08:53.920 keynote speech a long time ago. And I don't know why this one thing stood out to me so much,

00:08:59.700 but it really did. The guy who was speaking said, garbage in, garbage out. That's all. I mean, 0.99

00:09:05.840 he said a lot of other things, but I remember that among everything else he said. And I thought,

00:09:09.520 man, that is so true. Your output is a direct result of the input and the effort. And maybe that's

00:09:15.860 a physics lesson that somebody can explain to me, but your output is a direct result of the input and

00:09:21.320 the effort. And that's it. So if you want better results, you have to put forth better input or put

00:09:27.560 forth a better effort, more effective effort. And that's really all you need to do. And your output

00:09:34.100 will be better. Yeah. Love it. All right, man. Let's get, let's hop into some questions from the

00:09:39.820 Iron Council to learn more about the IC or to join us there. Go to orderofman.com slash Iron Council.

00:09:46.060 So Philip Nilsson, what's a strong belief you hold? And when was the time you questioned it?

00:09:56.640 I, I questioned myself every day. I'm trying to think of what the strongest

00:10:01.280 belief, you know, I would say probably my, my faith in God is a strong belief I hold.

00:10:07.300 But I do question it every day because things happen, you know, things happen in my life where I'm down,

00:10:13.660 or I don't feel like I'm getting answers to my prayers, or I'm not being looked after or walked

00:10:17.900 with. And that's frustrating. And then some days I think, you know, we're just meat sacks and we're

00:10:24.840 just doing the best that we can do. And when we expire, then we're given back to, you know, the earth

00:10:30.580 and the worms and the bugs and the maggots eat us. And that was the end of us. I don't know for sure,

00:10:35.900 but I do have a strong belief and maybe a hope that, that, that there is some greater power.

00:10:42.460 And, you know, I, but I questioned that every day and I think it's good. It's healthy to question.

00:10:50.100 I'm not a skeptic by nature, I don't think, or a pessimist by nature, but I do think it is important

00:10:56.440 to question intelligently and seek for the answers that you're after. And some things I just want to

00:11:04.020 be true because I think they lead me to a better life. And I think I'm more of an intuitive

00:11:09.880 thinker or person when it comes to that, that I want that to be true, whether it is or not is

00:11:17.280 irrelevant. I want it to be true because I think it helps me lead a better life. Yeah. Yeah. And so

00:11:22.860 I'm, I'm pretty pragmatic in that approach and I don't need a lot of reasoning or logic behind some

00:11:28.260 of those things. I just feel like, yep, that's good. That's wholesome. That's going to serve me well.

00:11:32.820 I'm going to embrace that idea whether or not it's objectively true. Yeah. You know what a strong

00:11:38.760 belief I used to have and I'm, and I'm happy that I've changed. Like this is a strong belief that I've

00:11:44.380 held and I've questioned it and I've changed and pivoted, or at least I try to, cause my natural

00:11:49.400 instinct is still to hold onto this belief. But whenever someone, I don't know, makes me upset or

00:11:57.600 goes against my expectations, right? I think they do something stupid. I used to 100% 1.00

00:12:04.100 assign that to their character. Like that is them bad, black and white, and not critically think 1.00

00:12:13.560 that there are a number of factors that drive our actions as humans. It's still very natural for me to,

00:12:21.400 to, to, to jump to the judgments, but I've gotten a lot better at slowing down. And when I'm tempted

00:12:28.980 to judge, to pause and critically think and say, no, it's more complex than this. And there's nuance

00:12:35.180 and there's, their intent is probably not to offend me. It's actually rooted in probably some selfish

00:12:40.840 desire or some insecurity of their own. And, and so I've, I've done a much better job and that was a

00:12:47.020 very strong belief. I was very quick to judge people. Um, and I think it was a rooted in my

00:12:52.280 quickness to judge myself harshly. And if, and as I became more empathetic with myself, I think it has

00:13:00.340 allowed me to be more empathetic with others. I think that's part of it for, for me too. The other

00:13:07.880 part of it for me, cause I, I, I fall into that same camp is that when you just get your butt handed to 0.68

00:13:13.000 you as often as you do when you're 44 years old, you start to realize, Oh my gosh, like I was critical 0.65

00:13:20.980 of that person. And here I am dealing with that same thing. And so, you know, let that be a cautionary

00:13:26.220 tale. Um, yeah, whatever you're, whatever you're criticizing others about, you were likely to

00:13:31.580 experience something very similar, if not the same thing and ask yourself, honestly, how would you

00:13:37.400 conduct yourself in that situation? You know, and, and what's interesting is we often assign bad

00:13:44.180 behavior in others to character deficiencies, but we often assign bad behavior in ourselves to some

00:13:50.540 form of justification or rationalization. Oh, my parents, oh, the economy, oh, my boss, oh, my wife,

00:13:56.660 oh, this, oh, that I never learned. I need grace, which is fair. Like some of that is fair. I'm not saying

00:14:03.040 it isn't, but if you're going to do that for you, then I think we ought to probably be better at doing

00:14:08.340 that for other people. Yeah. And psychiatry in psychology, they call it a fundamental attribution

00:14:13.900 error is when you do exactly what you just said. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's fancy. Any, any other

00:14:21.240 strong beliefs, any strong beliefs that you have pivoted from where you've held onto and you're like,

00:14:27.880 no, I was wrong and no longer, man. You know, one, one thing I actually question is marriage.

00:14:37.180 That's one. Like, is this really good for us or is it really required? Is that the question or,

00:14:43.440 you know, I would say, or is it possible? It's just, it's definitely possible because people do it.

00:14:50.400 Like it's definitely possible. Um, what I mean, maybe, maybe it's just semantics, but I want to

00:14:57.280 define it. I'm talking about just making sure that you have this like legal binding contract in place

00:15:02.100 and, uh, but I, why is the legal part required? Why should it be, you know, why should the government

00:15:10.560 come in and recognize your knowledge, a union between two people who want to be,

00:15:15.140 who want to spend time together? I don't think they should. Um, and so we get so wrapped up in

00:15:21.640 whether or not we're, we're married and we have this license. Now, will I get married again? Yeah.

00:15:26.260 I don't know. I, I do know that being in a long-term committed relationship is something that I want.

00:15:34.360 Like, I do know that, that I want to be with one woman and I want her to be with just me. And I think 0.94

00:15:39.880 anything to the contrary is probably not super healthy. You know, I see a lot of people who are

00:15:47.740 in open relationships, for example, or throuples as I've heard it called. And I have never seen that

00:15:55.900 work out effectively. Uh, I, I don't think it's good to bounce from one person to one person. I think

00:16:02.900 you learn a lot about your yourself when you're in a deeply committed relationship because that person

00:16:08.860 ends up being a real mirror into who you are. And even in breakups that I've had, including my

00:16:15.980 divorce, each one, although I definitely added to the scenario has been a real enlightening experience

00:16:23.740 for me. Like, Oh man, I still have deficiencies here. I still have gaps there. I need to improve

00:16:30.500 this, adjust this, tweak this, change this, consider that. And, and that's been real enlightening for me

00:16:36.780 as well. But as far as the marriage contract, man, that's one that I just thought, well, isn't that

00:16:42.280 what you're just supposed to do? Because I didn't know any better. And I don't, I'm not convinced that

00:16:47.260 is the case. I'm not not convinced either, but that one's I waffle on that one from time to time.

00:16:53.260 Yeah. I can understand that. But you know, the rest of the rest of like what I believe in life,

00:16:59.100 I can't think of a big, one big thing where I've changed my opinion. I think I've gotten a lot more

00:17:07.000 clear. You know, I think about that in the context of masculinity, protect, provide, preside. I've

00:17:11.560 gotten a lot more clear about my position. I've articulated my position. And in some cases I've

00:17:18.340 been forced to really examine my perspective, but I don't think that I've changed my opinion drastically

00:17:28.600 on too many things. Yeah. You know, this next question is perfect actually, because I was going

00:17:36.900 to actually bring this up of my perspective of what it means to be a man, right? And what a good man

00:17:43.520 looks like, especially when I was younger versus adulthood and, and, and through following you and

00:17:50.300 being part of this movement. Um, Mike Arndolfer, um, his question is how is the reality of being a

00:17:58.140 father leader and man of value different than what you perceived it, it was going to be like as a young

00:18:04.740 boy, the reality of being a valuable father different than what I was when I was a boy. Yeah. Like what you

00:18:15.040 perceived as a boy versus now? I mean, I, there's a lot more humanity in it than I, than I realized

00:18:24.120 because I, I grew up without a permanent father figure in my life. And my dad, I think was a good

00:18:31.180 person. Not, I think he was, he was a good person. And I had somebody tell me that people are just

00:18:38.420 different shades of gray. And, and many times they're not bad people. We just make bad decisions 0.57

00:18:44.060 and we do dumb things, but I don't think that makes somebody inherently or wholly bad. And I don't also

00:18:49.360 think that somebody is inherently or wholly good. I think most people do a lot of really, really

00:18:55.440 tremendous good things. And most people also do a lot of really tremendous and horrible things.

00:19:03.740 Um, and, and we hurt people and we are selfish at times. And then other times we're not selfish and

00:19:10.300 we're selfless and we're really caring. And other times we're protective and other times we're

00:19:15.240 exploitative. Like it's, it's crazy. Um, and I have this conception because I didn't really have a

00:19:22.320 permanent father figure where I would see other young boys who I was friends with. And I had this

00:19:28.840 idealistic version of what a good father would be. Cause I would see them going on camp outs with

00:19:34.500 their, their dads or playing catch in the yard or, you know, being at their, their dinner table.

00:19:40.640 If I went over and had dinner with a friend and the dad was at the head of the table and leading his

00:19:44.660 family well. And I started to create this idealized version of what it would be. And I think what that

00:19:49.740 did is it set me up for failure because you can never live up to an ideal. If that ideal is not

00:19:59.400 rooted in a reality. And the reality is that you can have a good man who's the head of his family

00:20:04.400 and still be kind of a dink and a screw up at times, you know, and I, I know it for myself. Um,

00:20:11.340 I try to be a good father to my kids, but I also know I'm really impatient and, uh, I get frustrated

00:20:19.080 easily and I didn't have margin or room for that. I was like, no, no, a good man is not that he's not

00:20:26.340 angry. He's not frustrated. He's always loving. He's always kind. He's always engaged. He's always

00:20:31.800 present. And it was a bit of a false dichotomy was he's always great or he's always horrible.

00:20:39.320 And then as I became a father, I realized I'm not always great. So I must be horrible.

00:20:44.060 And maybe that is an area where I've changed where, yeah, I'm not, I'm not either. I'm,

00:20:50.660 I'm probably, you know, 70 to 75% pretty good at it. And the other 25, I could really use some real

00:20:59.320 work, which is something even at 44 years old with one kid just about to be out of the house

00:21:03.640 that I'm trying to identify and work on. I can relate to that so much. And, and I feel

00:21:10.480 in spite of my dad's shortcomings, right. I think I identified areas that I wanted to show up

00:21:16.780 where I wanted to be involved in my kids's life more than he was. Like I saw that as a gap,

00:21:23.240 but you know, one area that was like, just blindsided is how to have a relationship with a

00:21:29.440 woman. I saw none of that from my father. Like I saw it because it was through my lens, right? Oh,

00:21:38.180 my dad should be doing these things with me. I could see the gaps in his fatherhood and how it

00:21:45.200 related to me, but I wasn't thinking about the gaps of how he was showing up as a husband.

00:21:51.340 And so that element of being a good man in leading and a man of value in a relationship,

00:21:59.280 in a marriage was just, Oh, um, I have no model for this. I never even thought about this,

00:22:05.980 you know, and, and that was kind of a big area for me that, that I realized that I had a gap that

00:22:12.080 needed a lot of learning and, and reps in when you, and, and I, I definitely can feel that when

00:22:18.240 you find you have those gaps, Kip, what is it that you do to shore those things up? Because the

00:22:24.520 reality is we might be able to identify a gap and still not know what the hell we need to do about

00:22:28.820 it. Yeah. I mean, that's tough, man, because like at one point as a, as a husband, my thought was

00:22:38.840 be overly expressive and just express everything. And I'm all good. And as I've learned with you,

00:22:47.200 right. And with the men of the iron council of the last years, that's not necessarily true either.

00:22:51.220 Right. Like I never understood the concept of maintaining a frame. I never understood the

00:22:56.940 concept of what it meant to preside with confidence versus just being this open book of wallowing in my

00:23:05.920 suffering and uncertainty, right. And bringing everyone along for the ride. There was a lot of

00:23:11.680 gaps. And to be honest with you, I wish I had some awesome scenario, but it was really just a result of

00:23:17.400 being around men that knew better than me, that shared ideas with me, reading books and flushing it

00:23:25.320 out. I like that idea of, of maintaining frame. I did a podcast probably years ago at this point

00:23:32.500 about why it's so important that we maintain frame, but I fear that too many men took that so literally.

00:23:37.880 And so, so with so much rigidity to it, that it was like, you can't, you can't be emotive. You can't

00:23:44.440 express your, your feelings or the way that you think about things. And, and, and I don't think

00:23:49.560 it's one or the other. I think I, in fact, I think it's very possible to maintain your frame and still

00:23:56.360 speak honestly and humbly to the woman in your life. You know, for example, uh, uh, uh, everyday

00:24:03.300 example or scenario of maintaining frame would be coming home from work after a bad day.

00:24:09.480 Maybe you lost a client. Maybe your boss is frustrated with you. Maybe your job's on the

00:24:14.520 chopping block. Who knows? It could be any number of things and you can come home and still maintain

00:24:19.640 frame. And you can say, Hey hon, just want to let you know, bad day at the office today,

00:24:23.940 lost a big client, pretty frustrated about the way that it went. It's going to represent a sizable

00:24:29.220 decrease in income to the business. And I'm concerned about it. And here's how you maintain frame

00:24:35.380 guys. It's this phrase right here. And here's what I'm going to do about it.

00:24:41.640 Because if you just come home and you be vulnerable and you just dump all of that,

00:24:48.720 what you're doing is you're saying, Hey, I'm going to put this bag, this, this burden, this weight of,

00:24:54.340 of masculine responsibility. I'm not just going to take it off and set it on the ground. I'm actually

00:24:59.600 going to take it off. I'm gonna have you turn around and I'm going to go ahead and put it on your

00:25:02.840 shoulders and you can go ahead and carry it. And the problem with that is that she does, that's not

00:25:10.360 her job. Her job is not to carry it. Her job is to help you by supporting you, by being nurturing, by

00:25:17.020 creating an environment where you want to carry it, where you're proud to carry it, where there's purpose

00:25:23.020 and meaning behind carrying it. And, and the way that you take the, the, the weight off even for a

00:25:29.840 moment is not by taking it off and putting it on her, but taking it off and setting it on the ground

00:25:34.180 just for a moment. And the way you do that is by saying, and so here's what I'm going to do

00:25:40.200 tomorrow. When I'm at the office, I'm going to have three times the sale sales calls that I normally

00:25:45.420 make. And the rest of the week, I'm going to call my existing clients and try to increase revenue and

00:25:51.340 get referrals and make up for the client that we lost yesterday or today. And what that does,

00:25:58.120 as long as you follow through on it, what it does is it doesn't undermine any sort of authority or

00:26:03.220 influence that you have with your wife. It actually bolsters it because now she's like, okay,

00:26:08.800 yeah, I can see he's having a bad day. He's not fully present here with the family. Um, I, I know

00:26:14.840 why he's frustrated. He communicated it with me. And then also he told me what he's going to do about it.

00:26:20.480 And this entire week he's actually done it. In fact, not only has he made up for the lost client,

00:26:25.540 he has 20% more income than he did before. And that fosters trust and credibility. It doesn't

00:26:33.940 undermine it. But when you say you're, I was talking with one of my coaching clients the other day,

00:26:39.440 and we were talking about the relationship that he had with his wife and the conversations that

00:26:44.340 they're having. And I gave him a few ideas on some of the conversations they could, they could start.

00:26:50.220 And I said, but look, if you start having these conversations and you start making commitments,

00:26:55.980 you better follow through with them because if you don't, it's actually worse than if you never

00:27:02.520 had these conversations in the first place. So that's my disclaimer to you. If you're going to

00:27:08.100 start broaching these subjects and you're going to start telling her what you're going to do,

00:27:12.620 you dang well better do it. Otherwise you're going in the wrong direction. You're not even staying

00:27:16.880 neutral. Yeah. Now you're a hypocrite. Now you're out of integrity. Trust will even erode more than if

00:27:23.640 you never did. Yeah. Well, and I hear from a lot of men who will say, you know, Ryan, I'm wanting to

00:27:30.520 start this business and I just can't get the support of my wife. Okay. Why, why should she believe you?

00:27:39.060 How many times have you dropped the ball? How many times did you say you'll take the trash out and

00:27:42.940 didn't, you know, one of the things that just replays in my mind when I was married is I would

00:27:47.860 go, occasionally I'd go on a little drink run or go to the convenience store and get a Red Bull or

00:27:51.580 something. And I would ask my ex, I'd say, Hey, can I get you anything? And she says, yeah, you know,

00:27:56.880 can you get me a diet Coke or whatever? I'm like, yeah, sure. I can't tell you the number of times

00:28:01.820 where I came back and I had my drink, but I didn't have hers. And I thought it was silly. I thought 0.73

00:28:08.520 it was stupid and insignificant. And it was like, I just forgot, like no big deal. And she, she never 1.00

00:28:14.020 really brought it up. But the more I replay some of those scenarios, the more I realized, oh, this

00:28:20.700 was death by a thousand cuts. Every time I failed to do something I said I was going to do, I lost a

00:28:26.920 little bit of credibility or I, it was insulting to her or she felt as if it wasn't important. And so the

00:28:32.820 big things, yeah, most guys are pretty good at the big things because they seem important. But how

00:28:38.660 many times did you tell your wife, you're going to stop by the grocery store and get milk on the way

00:28:42.380 home. And you don't, how many times have you told your wife that you're going to go mow the lawn

00:28:47.080 first thing in the morning, but then you sleep in past your snooze. And by the time you really get up

00:28:52.140 and going, you're halfway through the day already. And, and it's those things that not only hurt the

00:28:58.740 relationship you have, but it also hurts you as a person that it's the integrity gap.

00:29:05.620 And the wider that integrity gap is the more horrible you feel about yourself. And we were

00:29:10.780 talking about that on the iron council call just this morning. It's what a Jay call it. The cognitive,

00:29:17.220 what did he call it? The cognitive load, I think is what he called it. Meaning that it's the emotional

00:29:22.940 and mental burden and turmoil of not being the kind of man that you're supposed to be.

00:29:28.740 Not only are you not producing results, you are feeling horrible about it because there's that

00:29:33.400 emotional and mental burden behind falling short. So honor your commitments or don't make them at

00:29:39.060 all. Totally. Chris Bowden, outside of the IC, what are your recommendations for finding men of our

00:29:47.220 caliber and desire to grow? I'd like to create a, a bench of solid door kickers in my circle. 0.94

00:29:52.960 Well, it's pretty easy. Actually. I think people overcomplicate this. Where do high value men

00:30:01.480 congregate? They're in business. They're in leadership positions within the community

00:30:07.680 and they're training their bodies and, and they're probably developing their spiritual growth as well.

00:30:13.120 So that's it. So if you want to find spiritual men, where do you go? Church. If you want to find men 0.54

00:30:20.600 who are training their bodies and keeping their bodies in shape, where, where do they go? The gym

00:30:24.800 or they train jujitsu or, you know, whatever. Where do men go who are part of the community and in

00:30:32.300 maybe even positions of authority and politics within your community? Well, they're at city council

00:30:38.280 events. They're at chamber of commerce. They're at rotary. Uh, where, where do business professionals

00:30:44.240 go? Same thing. Chamber of commerce, rotary net networking functions, networking events, business

00:30:50.520 summits, et cetera, et cetera. So what I would do is I would pick the four, the four realms maybe that

00:30:57.480 you want to address. So spiritual, then you'll have your, your financial, I would include career and

00:31:02.960 business in that as well. Uh, and, and you're physical. So maybe those three and say, okay,

00:31:08.180 I'm committed this week to going to one function that hits at least one of those topics

00:31:15.080 every single week. And that means that 52 times throughout the year, you're going to go to a

00:31:21.100 function where you're going to find men who are engaged in the community, making good money,

00:31:25.040 dealing with their, uh, spiritual health and dealing with their physical health.

00:31:29.880 That's step number one, easy. Nobody can say that's hard. That is so easy. And if you're saying

00:31:36.760 it's hard, you're just coming up with an excuse not to do it. Number two, when you go, the onus is

00:31:42.920 on you for introducing yourself. So in addition to part a, which is go to those meetings, part B is

00:31:48.980 introducing yourself to people you don't know. So if I see you at jujitsu Kip, and I've decided that's

00:31:54.740 what I want to start doing to get into my physical realm and maybe we train or maybe we don't, I might

00:32:01.240 come to you. And this is where it does get a little challenging for some people, not everybody, but I

00:32:06.080 need to come to you and say, Hey, I saw you training and you look like you've been doing this for a

00:32:11.340 while. I would love to be able to roll with you sometime. Are you open to that maybe next week

00:32:14.580 and just put yourself out there? You know, I had a, I was at the gym. Uh, this was about a week and

00:32:21.040 a half or so ago. And, uh, actually I think it was Christmas day. I think it was Christmas day in

00:32:30.180 the afternoon. And I went into the gym and it was pretty sparse. There was only like four or five

00:32:34.340 people in there. And, uh, there was a guy and I saw he had a sleeveless shirt on, but he looked like

00:32:40.220 he was fit and he had a coat of arms on his arm. And I just said, Hey man, like what's, what's the

00:32:45.960 tattoo? What's I can see it's either military or coat of arms. He's like, Oh yeah, it's a coat of

00:32:49.380 arms. And we started talking about his Scottish ancestry and how he's related, uh, to William

00:32:55.840 Wallace. And I talked about some of my Scottish ancestry and how I went to Scotland three or four

00:33:00.700 years ago. And we actually struck up a really cool conversation. And as he was leaving the gym,

00:33:06.140 I was finishing up my work. He's like, Hey man, I should hit you up. I said, yeah. Um,

00:33:10.220 he, we started talking about a podcast. He's like, Oh, what's your podcast? I said, order a man. 0.99

00:33:15.060 He's like, are you serious? I actually listened to your podcast. And he had no idea that he was

00:33:19.360 talking with me that, that it was my podcast. Anyways, he came up to me. He's like, Hey man,

00:33:24.660 can I hit you up on Instagram? Like if you ever want to hang out, there's some really cool hikes

00:33:28.020 around here. We can hit up, we can go on some runs or whatever. And, and like, it was so easy

00:33:33.880 just to open your mouth and share. When I go to the gym, I don't, I don't do the earbud

00:33:39.900 thing. Everybody in the gym has earbuds on. I don't do that. Right. Cause I can't be present

00:33:46.160 with what's going on around me if I'm stuck in my head. So I look at people, I say hi to people,

00:33:53.060 I acknowledge them. Or if they do like have a big lift, I'm like, dang, that was, that's good,

00:33:59.480 man. Like just giving people compliments. It's so easy if you just do it and practice it. And if you do

00:34:06.680 it for 52 weeks out of the year, you're going to have those door kickers like that. Totally. Yeah. 0.85

00:34:13.200 I think what I got from what you said, Ryan is go to the gym, go over to the hip thrust machine,

00:34:18.500 wait for a guy to be on that machine, stand there, make eye contact, just watch him lift. And then

00:34:24.940 afterwards say, Hey, we should, you know, go grab lunch and get to know each other. Absolutely. Yeah.

00:34:31.300 And if you can do some like gestures, like, like lick your lips while you're watching wink,

00:34:38.040 winking works really well. Wink. Yeah. That's good too. Yeah. And let us know how that goes.

00:34:43.540 Giving him a spot, you know, on the hip thruster, you know, from underneath lifting his hips. If he

00:34:48.320 needs a little help that, that goes a long ways. Yeah. See how that works out for you.

00:34:52.460 Yeah. You got a spot on the squat. You got to spot them on the squat. That's what you got to do.

00:34:56.740 And then you can make eye contact in the mirror as, as he's, I was, uh, I was lifting. Yeah. Or

00:35:03.780 even on the, like the, what, the cable machines, you know how there are like, there's seven different

00:35:09.040 stations on some of those cable machines and you're sitting there and you're doing curls and you look

00:35:13.920 up past your weights and the other guys, they're doing like butterflies or something. You're like

00:35:17.260 through the bars. Yeah. Yeah. Through the bars. And you're trying like not to look at them unless it's

00:35:22.060 a friend and then you just stare out of a, make it awkward. Oh man. Uh, you were going

00:35:28.360 to say something else though, before I distracted you. I don't know if I should say, I don't know.

00:35:33.220 My, my son and I were working, working out. This was probably a year or two ago. And he's

00:35:38.400 like, dad, spot me on this. And so we were on the bench and I spotted him and I just stepped

00:35:42.200 up way too close just to mess with him. Just teabagged him, you know? And he's like, dad,

00:35:47.580 totally, totally. It's so funny. That's why I can't live for certain people. Like my good

00:35:57.740 friend, Richard, I hate lift. I love him. I hate lifting with him because the whole time

00:36:02.420 he's just messing around and I'm trying to be serious and he's just like messing with

00:36:06.700 me the whole time. The other, the other place is the sauna. You know, the sauna is a weird,

00:36:12.160 that's a weird one. Guys are sweating. And by the way, a little gym etiquette guys, if you're

00:36:17.280 in the sauna, like maintain some composure. Okay. It's, I know it's hot in there. I know

00:36:24.420 you're sweating. I know you're miserable. I know you're just trying to suck it up. Like 0.91

00:36:28.980 act like a grown ass man. You know, I go in there. I can't tell you how often I go into 0.99

00:36:33.580 the sauna and guys are like, like moving and they're like, and they're like snorting and

00:36:39.520 like just being disgusting. I'm like, control their bodies. Yeah. I'm like, dude, do it with

00:36:45.600 some class. Like, like they say, always look cool. Like it's yeah, it's hard. You don't

00:36:52.780 need to have a mental breakdown. And some of these guys look like they're having a damn 0.99

00:36:56.520 seizure in there. I'm like, just relax and do it with some composure and some grace. 0.99

00:37:00.860 So just a little, a little, uh, a little, uh, in the sauna. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Travis

00:37:07.800 Beattie, what advice would you give someone wanting to write their own book? Can you explain

00:37:12.880 your journey from concept to publication? My kids have inspired me to write a short children's

00:37:17.740 book. Any input is appreciated. Yeah, that's cool. Yeah. I think that's awesome. Um, you

00:37:24.120 know, there's a, for the sake of brevity, there's a lot of different routes, self-publishing,

00:37:27.700 you can get a publisher, you can do a quasi kind of agreement. Um, do you figure that out first

00:37:34.440 or did you write first? Um, no, well you don't write the entire book you do. I can't, I think,

00:37:42.840 I can't remember what it's called. It might just be a book proposal or a book summary or something.

00:37:46.780 So if you're going to go to a publisher, then you're going to have to put together a book summary

00:37:51.540 for, for a publisher. And it's not the entirety of the book. It just goes through each chapter,

00:37:58.740 chapter summary, what you're trying to accomplish, what your reach is, what your mode for distribution

00:38:03.380 is, who your audience is. It's that sort of thing. I can't remember what it's called,

00:38:08.260 but Michael Hyatt, who was a former president for, I can't remember the company, but a major

00:38:13.660 publisher. And he's got some really great stuff. Um, he, he had one at one point where it was like,

00:38:21.940 it costs, you know, 30 bucks or whatever, and they send it to you. And then you basically fill

00:38:26.620 your book summary or book proposal out using that template. And it was really, really helpful

00:38:30.940 when I was promoting, uh, the book, the second book, masculinity manifesto. So, but I would do

00:38:38.420 that anyways. You, you shouldn't write the entirety of the book without having a good overview and

00:38:43.840 outline. So I usually use not usually, but when I was writing those couple of books, uh, I, I organized

00:38:51.320 it using, I think the app or the program is called Scrivener. Don't, don't quote me on that. I think

00:38:57.320 it's Scrivener or Scrivener or something. It's S C R I V E N E R. I think Scrivener, uh, check it out, 0.99

00:39:05.000 but it's a word processor, but it organizes your thoughts into folders and different ideas and

00:39:10.560 references back and forth. It's just a good way to organize your, your book summary and proposal,

00:39:15.100 but that's what I would do. And so you break it down into like, what do you really want to

00:39:19.240 accomplish with this book? What do you want the reader to get from it? And then you work backwards.

00:39:23.020 Okay. In order for that to be the case, what four or five parts of the book do I need a little

00:39:29.260 different for a kid's book, right? It might not be as comprehensive. And then within each one of those

00:39:34.260 parts of the book, you have the chapters. Okay. Which chapter should be what, and you get the whole

00:39:39.480 thing pretty much outlined. And then you can go in and you can start, you know, writing from there.

00:39:46.300 Don't be so tied to your outline that you can't adapt and evolve as you have different considerations.

00:39:54.360 Cause I remember when I was writing sovereignty, the battle for the hearts and minds of men,

00:39:58.240 I had a really good outline. I had all the parts broken down. I had all the chapters and I spent a

00:40:03.800 lot of time thinking about that. And then I would write a chapter. What's interesting about writing is

00:40:09.380 you're forced to consider what you've just been flapping your gums about for most of your life. 0.55

00:40:16.880 Cause it's easy to just spew nonsense. Yeah. Yeah. Cause for the most part, you're not ever 0.91

00:40:22.800 going to get fact checked. Yeah. But, but I think what, what's important is that when you're writing

00:40:31.940 that again, it's a little different for a children's book. And I don't know if you mean like

00:40:35.660 a book for five-year-olds or a book for 15-year-olds. So that's a little different, but

00:40:40.660 when you have, when you have to write that and document that you're actually forced to get

00:40:46.180 supporting documentation, supporting evidence, articles and research and data to support your

00:40:51.720 assertion. And I remember writing some things and I can't even tell you what they are right now,

00:40:56.180 where I thought, man, I've been saying this, but now that I'm researching it, is it really true?

00:41:01.320 Do I really believe that at its core? And for some things, the answer was no, which caused the

00:41:06.500 whole outline to have to change or at least elements of the outline had to change. So it was

00:41:11.540 really cathartic and very challenging in a very positive way for me. Yeah. But then from there,

00:41:17.880 it's just right every day, you know, just, just right every day. And again, I don't know what kind

00:41:23.640 of book you're writing, but you might be able to crank out a children's book in, I don't know,

00:41:28.600 a couple of weeks or 30 days. It might not be that difficult for you. I would definitely hire

00:41:33.780 an editor. So this would be somebody who can come in and say, Hey, that doesn't make sense. Or I know

00:41:41.640 where you're going with this, but flesh that out a little bit more, or that doesn't, that's not how

00:41:46.360 kids talk or receive messages or that analogy. You're using mixed metaphors or congruency where

00:41:55.660 they'll say, Hey, um, you said this in chapter three, but now we're on chapter six and you're

00:42:00.300 saying this, and it's actually at odds with what you said in chapter three. So you either need to

00:42:04.280 make it in alignment or you need to explain that this is an exception. Um, there was other scenarios

00:42:10.620 where my editor, she, she was great. She didn't totally believe everything in, in my methodology 0.57

00:42:16.460 and beliefs around masculinity, not fully, which I actually thought was really good because she would 0.63

00:42:23.960 say, Hey, I don't, I don't understand this, this case you're making or this point, or I don't think

00:42:30.520 she didn't have preconceived notions because of her. So she'd say, yeah. And so she, she was never

00:42:36.520 like cut that out. She was says, no, you need to explain, you need to do a better job explaining this

00:42:41.120 point. Cause it's going to be lost on people. And it was very, very powerful that way. Yeah. You

00:42:46.780 know, and you want to bring in other good people like editor, you want to bring it for a children's

00:42:50.220 book. You're, you're going to want an illustrator. So you need to think about who, um, or what kind

00:42:55.340 of imagery you want for your book. Uh, I, I would definitely beta it with your own children and with

00:43:02.620 other children as well. Like ask them if they like it, what do they like about it? What lessons did they

00:43:06.960 learn? Who was your favorite character? Who did you like the least? And get real feedback from your,

00:43:12.420 from your audience. That would be huge. I can't help. I, there's some movie somewhere where a lady 1.00

00:43:21.460 was writing a children's book and the kids had their arms chopped off and they're like dying in

00:43:26.600 the children's. But do you know what I'm talking about? It's so funny. And she's sharing like, Oh, I,

00:43:32.120 I wrote a kid's book and she's sharing the book with people. And people are like, Oh,

00:43:36.100 that's nice. The illustrations are gruesome. Oh, well, isn't there a book or a movie scene with,

00:43:45.700 is it, is it like Billy Madison or something? I can't remember, but I've seen scenes like,

00:43:52.060 you know, the other one that comes to mind, have you ever seen the movie major pain?

00:43:56.320 Major? No. Oh, this is guys, this is a classic and it's good for your, your kids. I would say like

00:44:02.980 your young, you know, eight, nine or 10 year old kids up to maybe early teens. It's major pain. It's

00:44:08.640 a great movie. I think it's Damon Wayans or some, some, somebody I can't anyways. Um, he is a like

00:44:15.300 stone cold Marine Corps killer, but he starts, he goes, he gets in trouble in the military. And instead 0.69

00:44:21.740 of being like dishonorably discharged, they send him to a military prep Academy that has kids from,

00:44:28.760 you know, the ages of, you know, third grade all the way up to seniors. And he's, he's got this kid.

00:44:34.400 I think his name is tiger and he's teaching or he's going to, he wants to read him a bedtime story

00:44:39.560 and it's the little engine that could, and he starts telling him about it. But then he talks about

00:44:44.980 how Charlie's attacking the engine and all the soldiers pile out and they murder all of the enemy

00:44:50.800 and just like gets totally graphic and gruesome around this story. So make sure it's appropriate

00:44:59.700 for your audience. Yeah. All right. Uh, today is Horak. What are your, what's your advice for

00:45:07.920 preparing for marriage as a young couple in both practical and mental terms?

00:45:12.200 Um, I think from a mental standpoint, you know, obviously we could just riff on this forever.

00:45:19.080 Um, and you know, I want to be full disclosure to you. Like I've gone through a divorce and

00:45:23.920 sometimes people say, Oh, that disqualifies you. Now I think it actually makes me more qualified

00:45:27.840 because I know what does and does not work. Cause I was married for 18 years. So, um, I think from a

00:45:34.820 mental standpoint, like really trying to afford each other grace is going to be important. Learning how to

00:45:40.780 be, how to be good at that. I also think mentally is being committed and agreeing to yourself and to

00:45:50.460 her, uh, to always be as respectful as you can and not walk away from having meaningful and

00:45:57.880 significant conversations. You know, a lot of people do that where they'll go quiet, they'll shut down,

00:46:03.800 they won't engage. And it's, it's really, it's really bad. It's bad for a marriage. Um, and especially

00:46:09.980 depending on attachment styles, it can be really rough for, for people. Um, and then just kind of

00:46:17.200 going with the flow, you know, like realizing, Hey, I'm here to serve her. And hopefully you found

00:46:21.420 a woman who is, is there to serve you and then just be supportive as best you can. I also think

00:46:26.700 it's really important for a man to recognize that he, I believe that he's the leader of the household,

00:46:32.020 but I also believe if that's the case that you have to lead effectively. And the more that you put

00:46:37.240 onto her by way of making decisions, the less that she can step into her femininity. So that means 0.89

00:46:43.940 acknowledging what needs to take place around the house without looking for guidance or permission

00:46:49.280 from her. Um, that means acknowledging the direction of the family and what you guys are

00:46:55.620 trying to accomplish and invite her and include her in on the process of that. Those are all really

00:47:00.640 important things. Uh, from like a logistical or, or, or a, uh, real practical, pragmatic standpoint,

00:47:09.060 definitely make sure the finances are under control. Understand what your strengths and weaknesses

00:47:15.600 are around money, around conversations, around roles and duties around the house. Kip, you often

00:47:20.800 talk about this clearly defining the roles. So babe, I, in, in, in this context, I I'm going to take care

00:47:28.460 of the money because I'm, I'm good at it and that's, I have an affinity for it and, and you are good at

00:47:33.960 the organization. And so I'm going to defer to you on the organization and I'm going to cook dinner for

00:47:39.180 us on these nights and you're going to cook dinner for us on, on these nights. And on the weekends,

00:47:43.580 here's how we're going to spend our time. And here's how we're going to divvy up the household

00:47:47.280 chores. And here's what I would like to do for our future about, you know, I'm going to go work

00:47:52.680 and it sounds like you want to stay at home. So that's going to require this. And we want to have

00:47:57.300 three and a half kids, a white picket fence and have this place, you know, like come up with what

00:48:02.480 you're actually looking for and have those discussions ahead of time. So there's alignment.

00:48:06.320 And you know what, if you find you're out of an alignment right now, that's better than finding

00:48:11.100 out 10 years from now. I don't think there's going to be a lot of deal breakers, but I can tell you

00:48:15.440 having those conversations ahead of time frequently and consistently is going to save you a lot of

00:48:23.000 headache down the road. For sure. I would get clear too on what makes you upset. What are your

00:48:29.880 triggers? What are, where are your shortcomings? I mean, man, I can't help, but look even at my

00:48:35.500 marriage and conversations I've had with other men. And most of our, our issues in our marriage is

00:48:41.800 kind of the baggage that we brought into the marriage, right? Whether it's baggage from previous

00:48:46.620 relationships or insecurities that we had, or based upon how we're raised and, and our spouse has to

00:48:52.180 deal with that. And they're going to have to deal with it even more. So if you haven't figured out

00:48:57.580 how to deal with it now, you're not going to be perfect, but at least be aware of those things,

00:49:02.080 right? And be operating in the space of taking ownership of your life and your upsets. So you

00:49:07.140 don't just plop that onto them and put this weight on them of your happiness is, is determined based

00:49:13.840 upon how they show up in the marriage and how they show up every day. You got to be independently happy

00:49:18.700 and, and understand those triggers. So then that way, when they do show up, you can take ownership

00:49:24.760 over them, communicate effectively, right? And work with your spouse. Yeah. I even think if you

00:49:32.520 understand what those triggers are, that you should talk to her about what those are and share them.

00:49:38.100 Yeah. Yeah. Because if she knows, Oh, he doesn't like when I do this thing, I think generally she'll

00:49:44.660 be less inclined to do it because she cares about you. Just like you. If she said, Hey,

00:49:49.640 I don't like when you do this thing, it bothers me. And here's why I can not do that. Or I can do

00:49:56.280 that. Like, of course, cause you want to serve each other. So the more that you understand what

00:50:00.900 triggers you and you communicate that with her, the more likely she is to acquiesce to that and vice

00:50:05.980 versa. If she tells you, Hey, I don't like when you chew with your mouth open. Okay. Then don't

00:50:11.480 you, you know, or no big deal. Hey, I can change that. Yeah. You know, if here's one I I've heard

00:50:17.460 before, um, in arguments, I don't like if you chuckle or laugh and make my ideas sound stupid 0.96

00:50:26.780 because that's X used to do that. And so if you ever do that, it's going to trigger me. It's going

00:50:32.560 to make me feel really frustrated and bad. I'm like, okay, good to know, you know, and I, and I try to

00:50:39.460 avoid that. Right. I think, I think most of them are going to be reasonable things and you just

00:50:44.820 don't do it as long as it's not a deal breaker, then, you know, and you know what the rules are

00:50:49.380 and you can abide by the rules and she can as well. And your marriage is much more likely to be

00:50:53.560 successful. Yeah. I love it. All right, man. That's a wrap. I think the key thing, um, iron

00:50:59.880 council, how, how, when are we closing enrollment for January? Probably here in the next week or so.

00:51:06.640 Um, so I would say definitely get signed up by Friday. I have to look at the exact dates,

00:51:12.580 but definitely by Friday of this week, get, get signed up. But yeah, we've got some really cool

00:51:16.900 things. We're working on essentialism where you were on the call this morning, right? Kip.

00:51:20.800 Yes. Yeah. Yeah. We did some exercises where, uh, some of the guys, all the guys on the call,

00:51:26.460 I think there was about 70 people on the call this morning. Um, they started working through

00:51:32.840 the way that they're spending most of their time and then figuring out if it's an alignment with

00:51:37.060 what they want. And there was some really enlightening aha type moments from some guys

00:51:41.740 who were like, Hey, I know what I say is important, but the more I write this down,

00:51:46.220 I can realize, I realize how little I'm actually engaged in those things.

00:51:50.780 I thought that was pretty enlightening. I hadn't thought about that, but it seemed like that was

00:51:54.720 good for this particular member. So we've got really cool exercises. We're having good conversations.

00:51:59.540 We've got battle teams. Um, I think it was maybe Chris or somebody was talking about building a band

00:52:05.240 of brothers and where do you find those men? If you are having a hard time finding those guys,

00:52:09.480 this is the place to be because we're all working from the same playbook and we might come at it from

00:52:16.100 different ways. We might have different positions on the team, but we're all using the same playbook

00:52:20.220 of success and growth and dominance and building wealth and getting fit and everything else that

00:52:25.840 comes with it. So I would say just make sure to, uh, to join us and make 2026 your best year that

00:52:32.060 you've ever had. Excellent. And that's order of man.com slash iron council to sign up. Right. And

00:52:39.460 as always connect with, uh, Mickler on the gram as well as X at Ryan Mickler, and maybe even a call out

00:52:46.380 to check us on YouTube. Um, all the podcast episodes get published there as well. I think you're up to

00:52:52.320 what, 347,000 subscribers there. And so you guys subscribing and following is, is always beneficial.

00:53:00.120 Yep, definitely. And you know, leave that rating and review to share this. Not only is it just good

00:53:05.480 because you're sharing something that's valuable with other people, but this is how we improve the

00:53:10.920 quality of our production. It's also how we ensure we get the best quality guests we possibly can. The,

00:53:16.100 the larger, more robust our platform is, the more enticing it is for incredible people who you want

00:53:23.200 to hear from to come on the podcast. So I'm doing that outreach. Um, and I ask that you help me in

00:53:29.300 just a small way by leaving a rating review, by subscribing on YouTube, uh, by leaving a comment

00:53:34.840 on YouTube or wherever you're doing your social media thing by, by sharing it, that helps. And believe

00:53:40.240 me, if you've got hundreds of thousands of people who are listening and everybody does that, we blow

00:53:46.040 this thing up. So don't be passive in this and don't be passive in your life either. Be assertive,

00:53:52.800 be bold, engage, help the people you believe in, support the missions you care about, and let's

00:53:57.600 blow this thing up. Excellent. All right, guys. Uh, we'll be back on Friday. I was trying to think

00:54:04.780 what episode this was. We'll be back on Friday until then go out there, take action, become a man.

00:54:09.440 Thank you for listening to the order of man podcast. You're ready to take charge of your

00:54:15.180 life and be more of the man you were meant to be. We invite you to join the order at orderofman.com.

Order of Man - January 14, 2026

Garbage In, Garbage Out, Relationship Triggers, and False Idolization ｜ ASK ME ANYTHING

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