GEOFF HOPF | Hard Times Create Strong Men
Episode Stats
Length
1 hour and 18 minutes
Words per Minute
187.85852
Summary
Best selling author Jeff Hoff joins the podcast to talk about what he meant when he penned the phrase, "When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time." We also talk about moral weakness and lacking skill sets, why masculinity does not need to be redefined, why accepting reality is such a crucial part of men's growth, and why all men want to be part of something great. Also, the 4 pillars of survival and overcoming illogical belief systems: You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest, embrace your fears, and boldly chart your own path. Every time life knocks us down, we are not easily deterred, defeated, rugged, resilient, strong. This is your life, this is who you are. This s who you will become. At the end of the day, and after all is said and done, you can call yourself a man.
Transcript
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We've all heard the quote, hard times create strong men, strong men create good times,
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good times create weak men, weak men create hard times. Today I have the author of that quote,
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Jeff Hoff, on the podcast to talk about what he meant when he penned that phrase. We also talk
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about moral weakness and lacking skill sets, why masculinity does not need to be redefined,
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why accepting reality is such a crucial part of men's growth, why all men want to be part of
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something great. Also the four pillars of survival and overcoming illogical belief systems.
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You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest, embrace your fears and boldly chart your
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own path. When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time. Every time you are not easily
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deterred, defeated, rugged, resilient, strong. This is your life. This is who you are. This is who you
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will become. At the end of the day, and after all is said and done, you can call yourself a man.
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Gentlemen, welcome to the Order of Man podcast. My name is Ryan Michler. I am your host,
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and I'm very grateful that you're here with us today. We've all heard that quote that I alluded
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to earlier, and I have the first person to ever pen and coin that term. It's probably one of the most
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shared men's quotes on the internet today, and I'm very excited to be able to get the author of that
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quote, and the author of other books on this podcast. His name is Jeff Hoff. Before I get into
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it today, I just want to mention my good friends over at Montana Knife Company. If you don't follow
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montananifecompany.com, and if you pick something up, use the code ORDEROFMAN, all one word, ORDEROFMAN
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at checkout to save some money. All right, guys, let me introduce you to my guest. His name is Jeff
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Hoff. He is a best-selling author, celebrated primarily for his post-apocalyptic fiction,
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particularly his New World series, but before embarking on that writing career, he served for
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six years in the U.S. Marine Corps as an anti-tank gunner, including deployments during the Gulf War,
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but following his military service, he pursued some incredible careers, things like commercial diver,
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executive protection agent, and all of these experiences have deeply influenced his storytelling,
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which infuses his novels with a lot of intensity and authenticity as well. Beyond his military and
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writing endeavors, he is an entrepreneur. He's a family man. He founded Property Picks, which is a real
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estate services company, co-founded Beyond the Fray Publishing, where they focus on paranormal
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nonfiction. And he's also ventured into children's literature with the book Doggyville. And he's got
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some incredible insight into not only what it means to be a man, but what it takes to preserve our
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culture, society, and way of life. Jeff, so good to see you. I was so glad that Nikki and I introduced
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us. He's been talking you up for probably years at this point. So you've got a good advocate, Nikki.
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I hope you know that. I'm sure you do. I do. I do. Uh, for firstly, thanks for having me on. I do
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really, really appreciate it. You've got a great podcast and yeah, I have big shout out to Nikki.
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He's, uh, I've known God him for years now and he's, he's, he's a good man. Uh, he's a good friend.
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So a good shout out to him. He's been talking to me over the past, uh, several weeks now at this
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point about what's going on in Canada and art, are you in Canada or are you an American citizen?
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I know I'm an American citizen. I'm down in San Diego. Well, that's what I thought because I
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didn't hear, I didn't hear the, uh, the, uh, the accent. Yeah. The A and the, uh, yeah, I didn't hear
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any of that, but he's been talking about it and we're on the back of, uh, a very interesting
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election for our Canadian brothers up North, which honestly, I think is a bit of a travesty. I think
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Trump probably contributed a lot to, uh, the way that election went, unfortunately, but also they
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have sovereignty and the ability to make their own decisions and it seems like they made a bad one.
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We'll see how it goes. Yeah. You know, I forgot who I was listening to. They were just talking about
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it today as essentially it's like, uh, you know, the Canadians have been suffering under kind of an
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abusive relationship for a long time from the liberal party. And then, uh, they were, and then along
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comes Trump and, you know, doing Trump stuff. And I think that kind of galvanized them in some ways,
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uh, to want to keep that liberal party in, um, but in power, even though, even though I think the
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other guy wasn't necessarily siding with Trump. I mean, everyone was, I mean, I think everyone was
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pretty much in lockstep in Canada that they're a sovereign nation that they there's, there's not a
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chance they're ever going to join the United States, blah, blah, blah, blah. Yet for some reason that
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really kind of pushed them over to, I think his name's Carney. I think that's who won the prime
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ministership. So I think that's right. Yeah. Yeah. So yeah, it's politics are interesting. You know,
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it's, uh, I'm, I, I personally don't have any desire for Canada to be our 51st state. Um, I, I'm quite
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happy with our relationship and, uh, I do think they're good allies. Uh, you know, clearly from a
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political standpoint, could there maybe be some better trade stuff going on? Of course. But, you know,
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Trump is Trump. Trump's doing Trump stuff. So he has his way of negotiating. I mean,
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we'll see if it all works out in the end. I think these things are, uh, I mean, it's good God, man.
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It's like, he's been in office with three months, three and a half months. It feels like three years
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already. A hundred days. Yeah, it does. It does. The speed at which he operates is pretty interesting
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for sure. It's so much going on. I think it is pretty indicative of what a lot of people may,
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may or may not know you for, which is the, um, the hard times create strong men quote.
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Yeah. And that, that is your quote. And what is interesting to me is it is probably the least
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attributed quote that I've ever seen. I don't know how, how you feel about that or if you would agree
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with that. Uh, well, it seems like it just popped up out of thin air and, but, but that's,
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those are your words. Yeah. So I, uh, well, let's just kind of, just kind of touch on that. The, um,
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the sentiment kind of that, that the quote represents is, is timeless. You know, that's
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this concept where generations will look at the younger generation and think that they're weaker
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than they are. You know, we always do that. Even us. And we just, we just look at, oh, you don't,
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you didn't have it as bad as I did. As you get older, that's just kind of like,
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you didn't have to walk uphill in the snow, both ways to school kind of thing.
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Right. It's just kind of this meme it's kind of become, but that's just kind of really how
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generations deal with other generations. We look at the other ones as weaker, not as capable,
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uh, soft, things like that. So the sentiment actually goes way back even to like medieval
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to Plato essentially kind of talked about generations, generations competing with each other
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and one generation thinking the younger generation's not capable, et cetera, et cetera. There was a,
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uh, a, a middle Eastern, uh, uh, historian by the name of Ibn Khaldun that essentially referenced,
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you know, kind of had a generational theory. And so the quote itself is essentially a, a boiled down
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basic concept of generational theory. And, uh, I know before we jumped on, uh, on the air here,
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we were talking about Strauss and how generational theory, and really that's all it does. It's kind
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of just, it takes, it takes Ibn Khaldun's kind of concepts. He had like five cycles. You got
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Strauss and how's generation, uh, generational theory, which has four, uh, cycles that kind
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of go through with generations. Um, you kind of, where you get like a rise and then a peak
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of civilization and then a collapse of civilization, and then it repeats itself again. Um, so essentially
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you're taking that, I mean, you look at the quote, essentially just distills all of that
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down into the very basic premise. Um, there, there were other people citing things that have
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similarities to it over the years. And so like it, yes, it, it gets attributed and I, I, it's now
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become, for all the people that like the quote, I've gotten a tremendous amount of like hate for it.
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It's fascinating and it's become very politically divisive, um, for people that's, that are on,
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okay, I guess kind of left of center, but it's not even that it's like, it's tends to be more of the
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far left politically. Look at the quote and think it's somehow tied to some kind of white supremacy,
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male misogynist kind of, uh, philosophy when it has nothing to kind of, to even, even do with that
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at all. Again, it's, it's looking at generations and it does look at how, and again, this is timeless
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as far as when you look at generations as at, and as a civilization matures, becomes more wealthy,
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uh, the people that are the beneficiaries of the founders or the people that worked hard
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just tend to kind of forget or have some kind of a societal amnesia. And they start to have disdain
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for where they came from, for what they stand for. Um, and that essentially becomes kind of the weak
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man in a lot of ways, you know, and when, and when, and that's, and when people like, I think of
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the guy who was from Axios or I can't remember where he was, he, he's trying to tie me to some kind of
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Nazi far right stuff too. It's like, it's, it's like the whole thing took on this whole kind of,
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it was like after the 2020 election, this whole thing became, it's just blew up. And again,
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there were some people, I think they're on the right conservative Republicans that kind of liked
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the quote. It's pretty cool. I think. Um, and I don't, I don't see any issue with it, but it's
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apparently a lot of people did. And they thought I was like talking against women and things like
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that. And in reality, the, the man part can be even defined as mankind. Yeah, exactly.
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You've said that before. I've heard you say that for sure. Yeah. And it's like the, the people it's
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so fascinating. And when I, when I get into, uh, my writing, all, a lot, a lot, a lot of the
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apocalyptic books that I've done and the, in the Westerns and so forth, I touch on specifically in
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the, in the apocalyptic, uh, content. It's more about not the event itself, not the apocalyptic
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event. It's about how individuals are dealing with that event and the human condition. And it's so
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fascinating. I've been so focused on that in my writing that when that came out of those who
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remain and that became kind of part of this zeitgeist culture and how people reacted to it
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was fascinating. Just like incredibly fascinating. Like on, I think it's Reddit. Is it Reddit?
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Yeah. Reddit. I mean, there's whole blogs on there. People like wishing me dead. Like I should
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die. I mean, that's the bane of society at this point. I'm some Nazi. It's crazy, man. And so,
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but I think when you look at what the quote means, if you really take that deep dive into generational
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theory, uh, the fourth turning, we were talking about that you can see where we kind of are on this
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path. And you wonder if that this generational theory is actually has some facts or it's true
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or that it, we're about to experience it because we definitely seem to be on the cusp of some kind
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of a fourth turning, some kind of a collapse where they call it chaos. That's what Strauss and
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house called it. They called it the chaos, degeneration and the fourth turning. It's that,
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that, that turning is called chaos and that's, or crisis chaos turns into crisis. We're in the crisis
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Well, I think that's probably true. You know, I've got so many, I'm taking notes here as we're
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talking about this, but I saw a meme and I've, and I'm sure you've seen it as well. And people
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will post a picture of a stick and the caption is here's a stick to prove that people will argue
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about anything, you know? So there's that, there's that aspect of it, but then there's also the aspect
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that people like to label and compartmentalize. If I can take you in that quote and compartmentalize
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you into this right wing ultra mega Nazi camp, then I don't have to, to employ any sort of critical
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thinking. And maybe what I'm saying next will fall into the same camp. But I believe that the far
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left, not to be confused with liberalism, because I think there is some merit to some of those concepts
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if executed correctly. But I'd go so far to say is that the far left, when they look at a quote like
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that and they get angry, it's projection. It's self-reflection. It's, they know they're weak
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deep down inside. They know they're cowardly. They know they won't stand up for truth. They know they
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won't stand up for what is right. Um, they, they manipulate and they distort and they coerce and
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they bully in order to achieve some sort of weird worldview that they have. And maybe I'm guilty of
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the same thing here. But to me, when somebody reads a quote like that, it's, it's projection.
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Like there's, there's no reason to be angry about a quote like that. It's, it's, it should be
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self-reflective. It should be, okay, well, which generation are we or where are we and how can we
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improve regardless of what side of the political aisle you sit on? I, I think, I think you're
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absolutely right in that. I do think there is some self-reflection. Therefore they're projecting
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out because they, they, they might essentially, they're, they're essentially assigning themselves
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as the weak person. That's why they're getting very upset about it. They're taking it upon
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themselves. Which is interesting. Like, wow, they're already like, Hey, I'm the weak guy over
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here. That's why I'm so pissed off. And it's like, okay, there's also this part when you look at the
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far and it's the far left. Cause you know, when you look at, I mean, I, anyone who's fair-minded
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who isn't necessarily tied lockstep with any kind of political movement, like part of the, a team
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politics, a lot of people have tribalism. Yeah. A lot of people have views that kind of on a spectrum
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in a lot of ways, they'll have views that maybe are kind of a little bit left to center, you know,
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or a little bit right, or maybe far right. It just depends. Like if you look based on each individual
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issue and how it affects your life, most people do tend to be on kind of a spectrum. Then this
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tends to really only upset that people are on the far left. Like we're talking to fringe element,
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you know, we can go into a conversation about how much of that represents like that specific
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party today, the democratic party. I think there's, they've been kind of hijacked in some regards,
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but that's another conversation. But I also think that they get upset about it because,
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because when they look at it and if people took it seriously and were concerned that we're at this
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crisis point, that inflection point in society, that people go, Oh my God, we need to stop that.
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We don't, we don't want to collapse. We need to fix this. And I don't think that some of the elements
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in that, that fringe want a collapse. They don't like our Republic. They don't like our system.
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A lot of them are Bolsheviks, really. They're communists and they don't like our market system.
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They don't like our constitutional Republic. And I think they would like to see that all destroyed.
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They don't want anything that would say, Hey, strong men need to stand up again and protect
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what we have. So we can have a nation state, a market system for our children and our children's
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children. We need to protect that and keep that safe. And so while it's one, I think you're right.
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They're projecting. I think two, they also don't want to do anything to stop them from their ultimate
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goal of destruction. I think the far left is a insanely self-destructive death cult. In some
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ways they're just hardcore and communists really. I mean, I have such a hard time wrapping my head
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around it. I was talking with a friend about some things I was having a hard time understanding.
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And what they said to me is, well, you don't believe that way. And so it's hard for you to wrap
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your head around it. And I'm a pretty black and white kind of guy. That's maybe one of my
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cognitive distortions on the worst end of things is that I tend to fall into black and white thinking,
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catastrophize all or nothing. So I'm aware of that for sure. But my question is, you know,
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what is the problem against what I see as law and order, free market societies based on,
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you know, voluntary exchange, for example, low regulation and taxation, elected representatives.
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I don't understand what, what is the issue here? I really cannot wrap my head around why
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anyone, unless you're in power, would advocate for that. Why, why wouldn't you advocate for those
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things? I think there's a couple of things. That's a great question. By the way, I had the same
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thing. I scratched my head because I think we're rational, reasonable people. And I think that like
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Elon Musk mentions the hive, you know, the mind virus. And I think they've been captured by part
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of that. I think that they are absolutely in this, like, vicious circle, are kind of like spiraling in
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some ways. And it's, this will sound harsh, but, and this isn't like people that are like liberal,
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classically liberal people. Cause what's, what's fascinating. That's a different group of people.
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Totally. Cause you look at like, if you look at like, say the classical Democrat, for instance,
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from like the 1990s, even to early two thousands and so forth, they're still capitalistic free market
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people that believe in the Republic and the rule of law and all of that. It's, it's, it's like you
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had this element on the far left that really kind of was born. The genesis of it was in college, college
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campuses. And then you also have the birth of the internet. So then you have this, this ability for
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that mind viruses to spread everywhere. And because if you look at their belief systems, they're not
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logical. They're ill, it's illogical actually. You look at some of the politics that's happening now
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with just like the deportation of just illegal immigrants. And you, you're looking at what
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they're, what, you know, how they're, they're siding with a guy who's an MS-13 guy. It's like,
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what? I don't, it's, you do, you scratch your head. It's like, what? I don't understand what's
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happening here at like, this is, I mean, I think they're, they're hurting themselves. They're taking
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what they call the 80, 20 issues and they keep siding with the 20%. And, and for what, like, I,
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what are they getting out of aligning themselves with a known terrorist? Like it's, I don't get
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it. It's like, it's insane. It's like, they're living in another reality now. And this is where
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I think is a negative aspect of the internet and social media is it's created that hive mind.
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And at the same time, you can go on there and you can curate whatever content you want to see.
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And so they literally have their own truth. They look at stuff and they just believe,
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by the way, the right does, the right can do that too, by the way, the right can get on there and
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they'll, they'll say certain things. And I was like, is that really true about that person? And then
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when you really look, it's not. So you get some of that where that's, that's distortion or even just
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be a fake news that feeds even the right too. And the right kind of goes down that road.
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And so there's kind of this hard, it's really hard. It's almost like three truths in some ways.
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You have like, what's on the far left and you have what's on the far right. And then you have
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the rest of us looking at each side going, what the hell is going on? Um, I, I, I don't know how we
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deal with this guy. I'm going to tie this back into generational theory and why I think Strauss
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somehow and, and Khaldun and all these people over the years and centuries were correct. And
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we are in a crisis, I believe right now, we have essentially two cultures that exist right now,
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two distinct cultures that have two different value systems and belief systems.
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Their value systems and belief systems even come down to the system of government that they want.
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And they have a lot of power and they have the media as a bullhorn that trumpets and parrots all
00:21:05.040
their nonsense. And so you cannot have a nation state stay together when you have two distinct
00:21:14.620
cultures that are fighting for the heart of it. You look at the, the, the American civil war,
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that's what you had. You had two distinct cultures. You had the culture that was in the North that was
00:21:26.060
more abolitionist. And he had the culture in the South that was, uh, that, that had a, that was a,
00:21:32.360
a agricultural kind of, uh, society, uh, that did rely on slavery to do, you know, for that.
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Uh, now most Southerners didn't have slaves, but still it was just a completely different culture,
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way different than the Northern culture. And so the belief systems and how they just dealt with
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things and how they believed became so different that they looked at each other as enemies. And
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then you had the spark with the, which was the, the election of Lincoln. And so I think we're kind
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of at that crossroads. We have two distinct cultures that want to buy for power in this nation. And so
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I don't see how we get out of it without some kind of, some kind of conflict personally.
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Violence. Yeah. I mean, that's, that's like, I was, I can't remember what I was looking at, uh, earlier today.
00:22:21.360
I don't know if it was when I was doing a little research for this conversation or something else that I saw
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in the end result is always violence. And whoever wins a physical or violent confrontation
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dictates the way the culture goes until there's, Oh, you know what it was? It was, um,
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gosh, what, what I'm trying to think what it was. Oh, it was a friend of mine. It's going back to
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what we started with, uh, with the, the election results in Canada. And I said, look, until, until
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the people get agitated enough. And I think agitated is the right word to use until the people get
00:22:56.840
agitated enough, nothing will change. And agitation, unfortunately, and I'm not even calling for this
00:23:03.400
by the way, but unfortunately agitation often leads to physical confrontation. And once it becomes
00:23:11.280
physical, then that's where we begin to change the tide of the culture or lose culture or, you know,
00:23:20.320
whoever wins wins. And I hate to say that, but to me, that is the reality of human history.
00:23:28.140
Yeah. What's, what's disturbing about where we're heading and you're, you're, you're a hundred percent
00:23:34.220
right. Right. And is that you're, there's actually three players in this. You have the left, you have
00:23:40.500
the right, and then you have the government. So our government today is not like the government of
00:23:47.280
Lincoln. Right. You know, so I'm talking, if you were like doing a comparison with, uh, a civil war
00:23:52.460
type of that that occurs, uh, where I think there's three different entities here that are at play.
00:23:58.460
And I think the government, there are elements with inside the government, call them the deep state
00:24:02.420
of whatever you want, the bureaucracy, whatever they are. They wouldn't, they probably wouldn't mind
00:24:09.220
a little bit of bloodshed, a little bit of reason to create laws that,
00:24:15.360
ed hamper civil liberties, be the savior. Yes, exactly. And then they can come in and take care
00:24:22.600
of things, kind of be the referee to get in the middle. And, but in order to keep us safe,
00:24:28.560
they need to do more monitoring the internet. I mean, you can see where this can go, you know,
00:24:33.640
where we have to, you know, there was this one attack was financed by this. And so banking has to
00:24:39.120
change now and we're going to have a digital currency. You can see where a, a, I mean, the Patriot
00:24:44.020
act was a great example. It would be like a Patriot act on steroids. And I think that they
00:24:49.300
actually might be the ultimate victor out of anything that happens. If there is an, if there
00:24:54.580
is some kind of a, another American civil war, I think they would be the ones that be the ultimate
00:25:00.740
victor. And I'm sure somewhere think tanks have already plotted this out somewhere. They've already
00:25:05.780
war game, this whole thing. And there, and Bellamy, they would protect themselves anyway,
00:25:11.780
COG, it's continuity of government. They would make sure that they are protected no matter what,
00:25:16.980
what would happen. Um, but we're already seeing kind of low level, low tier violence right now.
00:25:23.060
You see it just, just even when you look at, you started seeing it in 2020, you know,
00:25:29.060
people attacking, you know, Trump supporters, things like that. Just, just respectful. You see
00:25:34.660
it, um, even just with the attacks on Teslas and Tesla drivers and like that is textbook terrorism.
00:25:42.500
That's a hundred percent terrorism. You're going and just lighting up dealerships and
00:25:46.500
firebombing cars and assaulting innocent drivers. You drive a certain brand. It's insane.
00:25:53.140
Well, even, uh, Luigi Mangione or whatever, however you pronounce his name, same concept.
00:25:58.900
And how many people are actually championing him as a hero, as a, as a Robin hood figure for killing
00:26:06.900
an innocent man who had a family, who had a life, who had, who's probably by all accounts,
00:26:15.620
trying to do right and be a good person. And, and he's Luigi is hailed as, as a martyr.
00:26:22.740
Yeah. To a lot of these individuals, some heroic figure, some Christ-like figure to these people.
00:26:28.020
Well, they dehumanize people. That's that, this is where it's, this is where we're very close to
00:26:32.020
the tipping point. There was a book I read years ago. You might've read it. Cause you're in the
00:26:35.460
military. It was called on killing. And it talked about, yes. By David Grossman. Yes. And it talked
00:26:40.260
about the programming, you know, how you get young men like us to go kill, you dehumanize the opponent.
00:26:46.820
You make them, you can come up with all the silhouettes, crowd. I mean, all these kind of
00:26:51.140
these subhuman names we give the enemy. And then you don't look at them as they're,
00:26:56.820
they're not our equal. They're not fathers. They're not sons. They're not uncles. They're
00:27:01.060
just whatever, whatever we want to call them, whatever disparaging name they're scum. So it's
00:27:06.340
easier to kill. So I think that's what's happened now. So the, and you, again, I think there are some
00:27:12.580
elements on the right that's starting to do this kind of shit too. And I think they need to stop,
00:27:16.580
but you see it really prominently on the left. There are the ones that are really
00:27:21.460
taking the direct action. And you see that perfectly illustrated with what happened to that,
00:27:27.540
that healthcare CEO. Like he's subhuman. Now it's okay to kill people like that. Like what,
00:27:32.580
what is happening? And there's this not enough public outrage. I think people are so distracted,
00:27:39.380
like cats in the red dot. They're like, yeah, going back to what you're saying about Canada,
00:27:44.020
that's a good point. Thomas Jefferson wrote about it in the declaration of independence,
00:27:48.500
where he, he, he, he mentioned, I'm paraphrasing this. Um, essentially, you know, people will,
00:27:55.060
will deal with things up to a point. Essentially we will deal with like something until it becomes
00:28:01.220
unsufferable. And I'm, I'm butchering it right now, but it's right out of the declaration of
00:28:05.140
independence. And in that show, he says, what you said, he's like, we will deal, we will suffer
00:28:10.180
to a point and then we're done. And then we're done. And then once the civilian population
00:28:18.580
comes unglued, it's hard to put that back together. It really is.
00:28:25.060
Gentlemen, just going to step away from the conversation very briefly. Uh, we're coming
00:28:28.660
out with a new program or a course, it's probably better, a course called divorce, not death,
00:28:33.460
where we will walk you through all the ins and outs of navigating the first 12 months of your
00:28:39.060
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00:28:44.740
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00:28:48.740
we're going to teach you what to do in the first 24 hours to week. Uh, all of the intricacies of
00:28:55.940
the legal process and the team you'll want to hire the things that you should do and absolutely not do
00:29:02.660
and how at some point to move back into the dating pool. We're also going to open this up in June,
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00:29:43.620
Again, divorce, not death.com. All right, let's get back to it. Jeff.
00:29:47.380
There's a, uh, there's a book and I can't remember it. A good friend of mine, Matthew Arrington
00:29:54.100
suggested this book and, and because of your work in, in, uh, in, in fiction and the post-apocalyptic
00:30:01.220
genre, you might know what it is, but it seems like he was talking about a fictional work
00:30:08.900
that was based on some, some, some elements of truth behind it. And it was, it was a South
00:30:16.580
American country and it explained how quickly societies will devolve and collapse once one
00:30:24.340
minor thing goes wrong. You know, for example, if we lose power, it's going to be chaos.
00:30:30.580
Dude, we're not, I mean, it, yeah, we're nine, we're, it was nine miles away from society collapsing,
00:30:36.140
nine miles collapsing. Yeah. And I don't think that's hyperbole. Like people will kill each other
00:30:42.960
and do horrific things, rape and violence and murder and theft. And God knows what else
00:30:51.900
because power goes out. That scares me actually. And what's interesting, this is why when I've,
00:30:58.460
when I started writing the books the years ago, I really, I was like, I really took a lot of,
00:31:05.360
I did a lot of research, but also it was like, I want to understand the psychology behind why do
00:31:10.360
people do the things that they do? And if you look at, there never has to be an apocalyptic event.
00:31:16.540
So think about this. If all the lights go out and everyone works together and coordinates and
00:31:21.840
collaborates, there's no apocalypse, right? I, I mean, you can have bad shit happen and everyone
00:31:28.980
comes together and we work together as a society. We just deal with the problem and we move on.
00:31:34.340
And that's it. We, we suffer a little bit and whatever, then we move on.
00:31:39.180
What the weakness, this is goes back to the quote, the weakness that it shows is when you have an
00:31:44.400
event that says a power outage and it, and it's, and if it's extended, that's when the shit really
00:31:50.800
hits the fan. You extend that out. What it does is exposes the weakness in, in certain individuals.
00:31:58.220
They don't have, and they know it in their heart. They do not have the skillsets,
00:32:03.440
the knowledge to survive something. They don't have, they become like, like man and whip, like
00:32:13.340
they're like children. They're older, but they're just children. They don't know how to just suck it
00:32:17.360
up and deal with shit. It's Lord of the flies. Yeah. It is. But they're, but you're, you're
00:32:21.940
talking about 30 some year old children. Like you and I, the power goes out. We just deal with it.
00:32:27.060
And more than likely you've probably prepared. Like I am. I just have stuff prepared. I'm ready
00:32:31.520
to go. The lights turn out. It's my responsibility as a man to protect my family. And that's what I do.
00:32:35.820
That's part of it. It's an insurance policy, but it shows how many people aren't prepared
00:32:41.080
and they know they're not prepared. That's, that's why they freak out and they go, Oh my God,
00:32:47.300
the power's not coming back on. Then the panic sets in. And then that panic turns to violence,
00:32:54.240
turns to bloodletting. And then everything just goes crazy. Well, you know, like when I wrote my
00:33:00.160
first book, the end, it's about a super EMP, right? And that essentially just cripples. It just shuts
00:33:06.520
down the grid, cripples all electronic devices. And we just pretty much go back to the stone
00:33:11.020
age, but you go back, you go back to the stone age, but with an entire population that doesn't
00:33:16.340
have a skillset to survive. They don't know how to guard. They don't have a garden. They don't
00:33:21.480
know how to like, like harvest anything. They don't know how to do anything with livestock. They
00:33:25.460
don't know how to hunt. They don't, most of them don't even have guns. They don't have anything.
00:33:29.520
And so you turn the power off and they turn on themselves instantly and the government knows
00:33:36.580
about it. So when you, um, they did, it was a 2003 when I was doing the research for the first
00:33:42.120
book, there's a, there was a EMP commission that was put together by Bush back then. And they're
00:33:47.500
first analyzing what they should do and they're war gaming it and things like that. But it came
00:33:52.580
down to the whole thing. Like, well, there's a, there were some talking that 90% of the American
00:33:58.100
population. If you had a total continental wide grid collapse that was extended for a year,
00:34:05.780
90% of the American population or North American population would die.
00:34:10.740
Oh, that's, that's super conservative. It would 99% would die within 90 days.
00:34:17.340
Yeah. You see, and they're dying from initially you have just, you admit, initially the deaths are
00:34:22.840
in the hundreds of thousands. If you had like an EMP type of attack or a CME, you've got like
00:34:27.880
airplanes falling out of the sky. You have just like people in the hospital that are on machines,
00:34:32.200
those kinds of things, people that need critical care. Those are the people that go fast. And then,
00:34:37.180
then you get the dehydration that goes out some weeks and then you get starvation that gets pushed
00:34:41.920
out a little bit further. Then you get the violence that's all happening. And yeah, it just,
00:34:46.200
it doesn't take long. You know what the government does? The government hunkers down in bunkers.
00:34:50.760
And this is what they've stated in there. They just leave. They just exit.
00:34:56.780
And let everyone then take care of themselves. Continuity of government. What's that?
00:35:06.440
We've gone to their bunkers. And was it Green Bar, West Virginia, or, you know,
00:35:11.160
Cheyenne mountain or wherever they have these other bunkers. Um, and they just take care of
00:35:15.620
themselves. That's all. That's, that's their a hundred percent plan. If anything happens on that
00:35:20.120
kind of a scale there, they'll disappear, but you're not going to see them anywhere.
00:35:26.140
I think this is why it's so crucial that you and I and other people, other men are doing this work
00:35:31.160
because not only are we trying to acquire the skills, but we're trying to teach other men.
00:35:34.920
And, and I made a post or a Facebook group a couple of weeks ago about why every man ought to know,
00:35:41.960
ought to own a firearm and know how to use it. And the amount of backlash that I received
00:35:47.760
because I said, you should own a firearm. And most of it was centered around, it doesn't make you a man.
00:35:55.620
And, uh, you know, the likelihood of you needing a firearm, which I agree with today, the likelihood
00:36:02.640
of me needing to use my P365 is infinitesimal small. Like I probably won't. And I'm glad I'm
00:36:11.160
grateful. I'm really glad I won't have to use that today in all likelihood, but wouldn't I want to
00:36:17.220
know how to use it? Wouldn't I want the tool available? And it doesn't actually take away anything
00:36:22.920
from my life. It doesn't detract. It doesn't distract. It doesn't make my life harder in any
00:36:28.660
way. It's just a tool and a skill that might be that, like you said, insurance policy earlier.
00:36:35.780
That's what all those things are. They're insurance policies. To think that something won't happen
00:36:40.680
is a big bet. You're at the poker table with a shitty hand and you're going all in it. Like I've had
00:36:49.260
two, we had one incidents. We were living in Idaho. Some guy, some guy decided to go full retard and
00:36:57.260
try to get at my wife when he was already trying to get at my mother-in-law. Anyway, long story short,
00:37:02.660
you guys were in public or no, no, we were at our home in Idaho. Like we lived outside of McCall
00:37:08.080
and, uh, this guy tried to break into like snow and he was drunk. It turns out he was drunk and,
00:37:12.180
and decided he was going to try to get some action. And he tried to like, he, he was, he was,
00:37:18.520
we first spotted him over at my mother-in-law's house or she saw him. And like when the lights
00:37:22.280
come on with the sensor, then he kind of ran away. But what he did, he's ran away and he came across,
00:37:26.820
we lived on his golf course, came across his golf course in post hole and through like four feet of
00:37:31.040
snow. And then, so my mother-in-law, I jumped in the truck and I drive over there to see if I can find
00:37:36.480
him. And next thing I know, I get the call. He's at my house. He literally crossed all the way over
00:37:42.700
this fairway. And, uh, my wife, my, my oldest daughter was just a baby then. And of course,
00:37:48.380
thank God she had a gun. She went, she got a pistol. He tried to get in the, she saw him in
00:37:52.080
the backyard. He, as soon as they locked eyes, he ran for the slider to try to get in. And so she had
00:37:59.420
a gun and she like, she took shelter and then I showed up and then the dude didn't even run away.
00:38:03.780
So I go out there and I opened the door and he was hiding around the corner, like hammered.
00:38:07.980
And, uh, then he just took off run and sheriffs ended up picking up later. But what if I had to
00:38:13.240
use it? So I was armed and, uh, like, how would I felt if I didn't have that? If I didn't have the
00:38:20.740
means to protect or my wife didn't have it, she had, she had a revolver on her. Like it's so,
00:38:25.960
Oh, you should feel like a piece of shit at, at minimum. I'm, I'm, I'm sorry to say that,
00:38:30.400
but you should definitely feel like a failure. That's your job. And it's like, it is,
00:38:35.160
it's just a tool. Like, why would you not want to equip yourself and your family with the means
00:38:39.560
of protection? And then again, that only happened once, but it happened in relatively safe Idaho.
00:38:45.460
Some drunk guy decided he was going to get frisky. I think he, that guy was clearly up to no good,
00:38:50.840
but he was a bad dude. Like, Hey, there you go. Like, and I, you know, what if he had gained
00:38:58.840
access? My wife would have had to put him down. I know she would have, but she had our, my, my,
00:39:04.520
our baby at the same time, this guy didn't give a shit. And so it's like, those things can happen.
00:39:10.740
And why would you not want the means to like, to ensure that you don't have to have sleepless nights
00:39:16.580
for the rest of your life because you didn't prepare. And now something happened to your wife
00:39:20.800
and your child. It's crazy to me. I don't, I don't, I don't get that thinking. I don't go there.
00:39:24.800
Like I always in a constant state of like, okay, I make sure I have all these things. Like when
00:39:30.940
COVID first hit, I just closed the door. We're all prepared. Right. So do you need anything? I was
00:39:35.020
like, Nope, we're good. I'm good. We're going to hang out 15 days to slow the spread. It's just fine.
00:39:40.380
I can deal with that. Totally. Two days in, you realize what was all going on, but you can deal
00:39:44.080
with it. She told me, she was like, thank, I mean, she goes, I'm so grateful for you. I'm so grateful
00:39:49.900
that you think of those things that you took care of us, you know, from a man's perspective,
00:39:55.120
it just makes you feel great. That's what we're supposed to do as men. We're supposed to be
00:40:01.100
protectors and we're supposed to think like that. And she is jet was so just like, I'm so, I'm so
00:40:08.520
grateful for you. You know, the other thing I think it does too, is it gives us men a sense of
00:40:13.960
purpose. You know, there, I mean, we can, we can go into the depression rates and suicide rates and
00:40:18.440
anxiety rates and we can look at fatherless homes. We can look at incarceration rates. We can look at
00:40:23.300
drug abuse and, and alcohol addiction. We can look at all of that and we can see how, how really
00:40:28.520
desperate men are generally right now relative to other times in life. And I think this goes to the
00:40:33.320
quote that you coined about the hard times and weak times and weak men and strong men. Um, but it
00:40:39.240
gives us a sense of purpose and direction. Like this is what I'm supposed to do. You know, last night
00:40:43.500
I had a funny story actually last night, I have a pistol box on my nightstand and I put my pistol
00:40:49.420
in the pistol box unless I'm, you know, carrying it. And at night I take it out of the pistol box
00:40:55.180
and I have this little magnetic thing that I screwed to the side of my nightstand. And every night I take
00:41:00.500
my, my firearm out of my pistol box and I put it on that magnetic little strip so that if I need my
00:41:06.460
pistol, I can get it quick. I don't want to put in a code at 2am where I'm a little delirious
00:41:11.320
because I'm trying to wake up. So last night I'm laying in bed and I hear this noise and I wake
00:41:16.000
up and I grab my pistol. I'm like, what is that noise? It was my printer, which is in my room.
00:41:23.820
And it was my printer that for whatever reason decided it was going to pick up signal
00:41:27.640
and print a project from early in the afternoon that I had trouble printing at, you know, three or
00:41:34.200
four in the afternoon. And I grabbed my pistol and I'm like, what is that noise? And I got out of bed
00:41:38.520
and realized, Oh, it's just, it's just my printer. And you know, I put my thing away.
00:41:43.980
Obviously it's a different scenario than what you're talking about, but the fact that I could
00:41:47.680
react that quickly and had the skillset, the knowledge and the ability to react. If it had
00:41:54.740
been somebody trying to break into my daughter's room or come in the back door or, you know, any number
00:42:02.100
of things that could have happened was a sense of relief. And I could put my pistol back and realize,
00:42:06.440
okay, we're safe. I got this. I'm here. The house is protected. Everybody's safe.
00:42:12.680
Yeah. Yeah. I, you know, it was good training, wasn't it?
00:42:18.440
It was, it was actually a little jarring because my reaction time left something to be desired.
00:42:25.040
And I thought to myself, I think I'm prepared, but I don't know how prepared I am. Even though I'm
00:42:31.820
probably more prepared than 99% of people out there, I was still slower than I would have liked
00:42:36.540
to have been. Well, then was it Jocko say good. What that means? Okay, good. All right. I need to
00:42:42.480
work on something. That's good. I can be better now. Good. It's a mindset thing. Okay, good. I can be
00:42:47.160
better now. Uh, yeah, I, I, I think going back to the concept of purpose, um, I know there's a lot of
00:42:56.900
talk of trying to redefine masculinity and all these things in the modern era. And, you know,
00:43:02.960
we still, without a doubt, have barbarians at the gates. They're out there, um, to just think that
00:43:12.260
we no longer have to have strong men, trained men, lethal men, violent men, um, is nonsense.
00:43:22.060
Yes. And I, I, I'm with you. I think, uh, every man should have a gun. I think every man should
00:43:29.520
have training. I think every man should have training. And even in some type of martial arts
00:43:33.740
in some regard, you don't have to be black belts, but have some ability to be able to handle
00:43:37.840
themselves in a fight, whatever that is. I even think this there's, it's dismal when you look at
00:43:43.180
fitness levels too. Uh, you know, I, I, I, I have a, uh, uh, I have kind of a low opinion of when
00:43:53.540
people let themselves go too much. I'm like, come on, man, you can't do that. Like you got to,
00:44:00.200
cause what, what if you don't have access, you know, I got a gun. Well, what do you have to roll
00:44:04.140
around for about five minutes on the ground with somebody that you know, you know, you know how taxing
00:44:09.080
that is just roll around for one minute straight with somebody. You're going to be gassed. And I'm
00:44:14.940
not saying you got to run around with, uh, uh, yeah, so I, I'll, I'll say it. I'll cut it to this.
00:44:20.300
I I've, I've had it and I've talked about it before in preparedness. I look at it like that,
00:44:24.460
the four pillars of survival. And, uh, you've got, you know, you got resources, you got skillset,
00:44:31.420
you have mindset, mindsets, it's overlooked a lot. Got to have the mindset to be able to act,
00:44:36.000
but then fitness, fitness is something that gets overlooked so often. And they go, well,
00:44:42.740
I got the gun. I'll be fine. Like, well, you may not have the gun or it might get taken away from
00:44:46.160
you. Now you got to handle yourself physically. You have to have the physicality to carry out
00:44:51.960
the things that you might have to carry out. This is why the military has specifically going to get
00:44:57.240
special operations or, or infantry has standards is because you need the guy to go from here to there
00:45:04.640
with a lot of gear that's not light and fight the battle and then come back. So it's, it's,
00:45:11.440
you have to have a fitness. You have to have a level of fitness. Doesn't mean you have to have a
00:45:14.960
six pack, not saying that, but every man should have, should be physically fit to a certain extent.
00:45:20.760
You should have the strength to, you know, to do pushups and pull-ups and I don't know. I just,
00:45:27.100
and conditioning. I'm very, very big about that. I think it gets overlooked so much. And I just don't
00:45:32.720
find any excuse for it. When I see guys, I give guys shit all the time. I'm like, bro, what's,
00:45:37.560
what is that? So I, cause I think that goes into being a man that can be there to protect his family
00:45:45.280
at the same time. You are there to provide financially, but you also have to, women like
00:45:51.280
to feel safe. I know that's going to come down as some kind of sexist comment, but women want to
00:45:56.580
feel safe. They do. I talk to my wife about it all the time. She wants to feel secure.
00:46:03.020
They want to feel secure. This is, this is, this is interesting. It wasn't that long ago.
00:46:07.680
There were some other woman goes, you know, it was made a comment in some movie and to the,
00:46:11.940
to the effect that the woman said like, I'm scared all the time. I'm like, that's not real. Is that
00:46:18.360
true? My wife's like, yeah, when I'm out by myself, I'm, I'm like, not scared, but I'm always
00:46:24.420
looking around. Like I'm worried women when their husbands are on trips and they're home alone.
00:46:29.400
Yeah. I know a lot of women feel like that. Yeah. I don't feel like that when I'm home alone is
00:46:33.180
hanging out, whatever, but they feel very vulnerable. It's awesome. Yeah, I know, but
00:46:37.060
they feel very vulnerable. And I, and I was like, really? So we had, it, it was a great opportunity
00:46:42.300
to have a good, really, you know, hard, hard conversation about it. And I was like, you really
00:46:46.820
feel they're vulnerable. So he goes, Oh my God, you have no idea. Like all women do. You go, I know you're
00:46:50.760
in a parking lot, you pull in somewhere, you're looking around, you know, head on a swivel.
00:46:55.020
You know, situational awareness. And it's, I was like, I can understand. Cause you know,
00:47:00.580
my wife, I'm, you know, I'm sure your wife is grounded in kind of reality and that, you know,
00:47:06.200
that I can be some boss babe out there kicking our ass. You know, that's, that's like Marvel movies
00:47:10.780
and shit like that. Like they're, they're in grounded reality that the average Joe could take
00:47:15.220
them down. The average guy, even with a beard guy can throw them to the ground and do horrible
00:47:19.380
things to them. So it's, um, I was just, and so that's taken me to this point now as I'm 55 years
00:47:26.640
old where I'm really big about the fitness stuff now. And I'm actually now really even leaning into
00:47:31.560
just the concept of longevity. Cause I need to be there for them as long as possible. This is why
00:47:38.360
health and fitness is even more as we get, as we became older with gray hair to take care of
00:47:45.160
ourselves. Cause we might have to, we need to be there. I need to be there for my kids. I need to
00:47:49.480
be there for my daughters. And so I'm going to continue as long as I possibly can to be capable
00:47:55.160
of doing so physically. Yeah. I mean, I, I think that's a really good point. I heard a quote. Um,
00:48:03.820
this was also from Jocko and I'm paraphrasing, but he said something like men sometimes have what other
00:48:09.980
men want and women always have what other men want. And that was a, that was a really interesting
00:48:18.520
perspective on, on the differences I think between men and women as far as potential victimization.
00:48:26.880
But you know, the other thing I was thinking of as you were saying that is when you said, well,
00:48:30.920
women might feel bad about or insecure about what you said. The reality is that we all play a different
00:48:36.940
part in this, in this game. And when a woman feels protected and secure physically, mentally,
00:48:44.800
emotionally, financially, it unburdens her. It takes something off of her shoulders where now she can
00:48:53.380
focus on what she is eminently qualified for, which is love and support and nurturing and empathy
00:49:02.820
and kindness and compassion. But the same way that when a man is strapped with excessive financial
00:49:11.220
debt or excess stress because work's not going well, or the relationship is on the rocks, he is not free
00:49:18.300
to pursue the ability to provide for his family or protect his family or have that purpose. Like we
00:49:25.960
were talking about earlier. I agree. When you have that, I think when the relationship is in balance
00:49:33.040
between a man and a woman, the man is doing what he's doing is providing and protecting.
00:49:38.720
It allows, again, it unburdens her and allows her femininity to thrive. My wife has told me that
00:49:44.600
she is just, she thrives in that space. Um, and because she, she can, she can, yeah, just let down
00:49:54.540
her guard. She doesn't have to be that cause it's taken care of. I, uh, but going, you know, going back
00:49:59.760
to the purpose. Yeah. I think there's a, I, a lack of purpose that men feel. And, uh, yeah, I don't,
00:50:08.640
I don't, I mean, I've got some ideas on how that can be fixed, but you know, there it's,
00:50:12.760
there's a lot of headwind out there with, you know, popular culture that wants to, you know,
00:50:16.520
take that on. This is kind of going back to where you have two distinct cultures in our nation. Now
00:50:21.400
you didn't have this kind of debate on what masculinity was during world war two or pre
00:50:27.680
world war two, or even post world war two. This is a very recent phenomenon as far as trying to
00:50:33.820
define masculinity today. And essentially defining it as it should be more like femininity. It's, it's a,
00:50:39.960
right. It doesn't make sense. Um, and it's, it's a part of a cultural belief system that's
00:50:47.820
runs complete opposite to ours. And those two cannot cohabitate. It's impossible.
00:50:55.240
Well, I mean, it even goes back further than that. You take a Marcus Aurelius. He said,
00:50:59.240
waste no more time arguing what a good man should be. Be one. Yeah. Which leads me to believe that
00:51:04.220
there wasn't actually a conversation about what it meant to be a man. Everybody just had
00:51:08.240
their definition and knew what it was and you either were, or you were not. And I know that
00:51:13.980
can be threatening to guys who feel like, I mean, the reality is this, and we talked a little bit
00:51:19.100
about labels and frameworks and obviously the quote we addressed earlier. And then we talked about,
00:51:24.340
um, uh, tribalism with the two parties, but some things can be fit into labels and some things can be
00:51:32.460
fit into very nice packages. And one of them for men is to be a protector, a provider and a presider
00:51:39.880
synonymous with leadership. And if a guy, in my opinion, if a man steps more fully into that and
00:51:47.520
he embraces that lifestyle, he says, I'm going to learn how to protect myself and other people.
00:51:51.760
I'm going to learn how to provide financially and emotionally and spiritually. And I'm going to
00:51:56.620
learn how to lead people, communicate effectively, cast vision, motivate, inspire. There would never
00:52:02.340
be a man who would ever have a lack of purpose in his life if he did those three things. And I am
00:52:07.720
fully bought into that concept. I agree. I agree. And I think what I would add with that, and I think
00:52:14.640
why some men are, can be become these incels today or afraid of that is the, is the word failure.
00:52:21.900
And what I would encourage those guys to do is redefine failure. If there's a, if there's something
00:52:27.980
you can redefine, it's that for instance. So there's two, there's, there's failing present tense,
00:52:36.220
and then there's failure past tense. We all fail. There's going to be something we're doing. We're
00:52:42.640
failing at it. That's okay. I got to go back to Jocko. Good, good. It's something I need to work on.
00:52:49.200
So I've reframed everything that bad, anything that bad happens to me, if I fail or mess up at
00:52:57.060
something, I choose now to look at it as an opportunity. It took me a while to retrain my
00:53:04.260
brain and everything is, that's an opportunity. I'm going to learn something from that. And so it's
00:53:09.780
like the observer effect. So now I only look for the lessons in that event or that situation. I look for
00:53:17.300
that. Okay. When I'm going to, this will make me better. I can level up from this. I can do this
00:53:21.700
better. I can do that, or I won't do that. I choose to not. So then it's just a failing, not a failure
00:53:27.800
because I don't allow it to shut me down. I don't allow it to like, I now I walk away. I step off the
00:53:34.740
stage of life because I, I made a mistake. We all make mistakes. We all will have moments where we fail
00:53:40.880
or we're not doing our best. And it's okay. That's completely okay for those guys out there.
00:53:47.480
They're trying and a mistake happens or something comes into their space and it disrupts them. And
00:53:53.440
now they're having some financial stress. Okay. It's an opportunity. If they embrace it as an
00:53:59.120
opportunity and find a way they will get around it. King, I was at King Solomon in the Bible,
00:54:06.540
uh, uh, richest guy in the world at the time, whenever that was, you know, I think, was he,
00:54:11.000
was he King's, was he King David's son? I can't remember now. Um, anyway, you're asking the wrong
00:54:15.620
guy on that, but I'm sure there's lots of biblical scholars. I'm going to get some hate on this maybe,
00:54:20.160
but, um, so, but I do know that he used to like, so he was the richest guy in the world back in the,
00:54:24.900
back in the day, uh, very successful, had everything you could ever imagine yet stuff would happen to
00:54:32.340
him. So he had a, he had this gold ring and on inside of it, he had it inscribed,
00:54:36.360
this too shall pass. So even the richest guy in the world would have issues or have problems.
00:54:42.480
And in order, he would have, he would look at his ring to remind him that this will pass too.
00:54:48.360
So we're all going to go through hardship. We're all going to have suffering. We're all going to go
00:54:53.420
through shit and that's just okay. You can, you can survive it. You will survive it. It will,
00:55:01.060
it too shall pass. And so if it's going to pass on a time, on a linear timeframe,
00:55:06.980
then why don't you redefine it as an opportunity to learn? Then it's not failure anymore. It's a lesson.
00:55:15.140
I think another important component of this too, Jeff, is that this too shall pass if you let it.
00:55:26.180
Like I, I cannot tell you how many men, and I've done this too, I'm guilty of this too,
00:55:30.940
where we hang on to a failure for way too long, or we latch onto some underperformance in a relationship
00:55:38.140
relationship or at work or just our own personal morality. And we just cling to it as if it's our
00:55:44.800
source of life. And as you were talking about failure, my thought was it's, it's either a result
00:55:51.720
of poor performance or an adjective of who you are. It's just a result. Like it does not define you
00:56:00.060
unless you choose to make it an adjective of who you are.
00:56:02.840
Unless you choose for it to. Yeah. Right. It's all, you get, you get, you get to,
00:56:08.120
you get to choose in on everything. Like our reality, our lives are dictated by our choices
00:56:13.960
and our mindset. This comes out to that mindset. Are we, are we choosing into that? Or are we,
00:56:19.720
again, I use the tool of reframing it. I reframe it. And therefore I don't want to use,
00:56:27.180
I don't want to say I'm happy that these things happen, but I'm like, I'm just like, okay,
00:56:31.780
I'm going to learn something from this. I'm going to grow from this. And when, when it's,
00:56:37.260
when it's redefined, you, you, it's a, you accept it differently. It's, it's like, I don't know.
00:56:45.300
It's, and you own it. You also have to own it too, but not own it to the point where,
00:56:50.380
um, you're beating yourself up over it, you know, and you're living in guilt the rest of your life.
00:56:57.020
Like what, that's what you were saying. They look at a failure and they're, they, they're riddled by
00:57:00.880
guilt the whole, the whole time. It's like, what, why would you do that? Why would you
00:57:05.220
handicap yourself like that? Why don't you redefine it and then, um, take ownership of it. And then
00:57:11.680
look what I've done. Cause nothing's better than kind of the, the guy who rises up, right.
00:57:16.880
From defeat. Nothing's, nothing's more amazing. The guy's been beaten down and he gets back up and
00:57:21.860
every guy will go, that guy, that guy, I love that guy. He got beaten down and he's got back
00:57:29.000
on his feet again. We love the men, men, like, that's the good thing about men. I love that about
00:57:34.360
men. And that is like, when I put drinking, I never had more calm. I never had more like support
00:57:41.320
than from my guys. It's always like the women where you've got like, when I'm like, why not?
00:57:46.000
But all my guy friends are like, good for you, man. That's good. You feel good. I said,
00:57:50.720
I feel amazing. That's good for you. They look good. Like support. Like that's a good brother
00:57:56.920
right there. They're supporting you. I was here, but now I'm here and they love it.
00:58:00.980
I mean, that's why even in the movies, we like the characters that we do, whether it's
00:58:07.420
Marcus Aurelius with, or I mean, uh, uh, Maximus, excuse me, with Gladiator or William Wallace with
00:58:14.300
Braveheart. I mean, this is the reason that we latch onto those guys. And yet you are the character.
00:58:20.620
You are the character in your movie. You can be that you had a bad relationship. You had a business
00:58:25.680
failure. You had a financial disaster. You had a medical condition. Um, you had people take advantage of
00:58:30.660
you good. It means you can rise up above it and create a really cool, compelling story for yourself
00:58:37.440
and other people. A hundred percent. And that's, that's a good point. You bring up something about
00:58:43.300
characters. Um, it's, I would like to see more men or more people, just more men though, um, make
00:58:51.480
themselves the main character in their story. That doesn't mean that you're now putting your wife or
00:58:58.520
your spouse, your children over here, but you can't take care of them fully unless you're taking
00:59:03.760
care of yourself. You have to take care of yourself. Um, and there's, there's some guys I
00:59:10.860
know that are just always, uh, they like to be the martyr kind of thing. Well, I'm like, why would
00:59:16.260
you do one? Take care of yourself. You're better equipped to be the provider. If you take care of
00:59:20.360
yourself, I'm not saying spool yourself like a baby, like a child, but you take care of yourself,
00:59:24.640
take care of your health, take care of your fitness. You know, I just, you know, take care
00:59:28.980
of your mental wellbeing. However you do that, when that's through spirituality or religion or
00:59:33.540
meditation, whatever that is, mental health is a very big thing too. So take care of yourself.
00:59:38.740
And then when you're optimal, then you can take care of everyone around you.
00:59:44.500
I love it. I actually think that's part of the reason why even just over the past couple of
00:59:49.560
years I've tended to not exclusively, but migrated more than I have in the past towards fictional
00:59:55.400
work, because there are so many stories and lessons and aspirational concepts and ideas that
01:00:03.480
you can learn from fictional work. You know, I had, um, Lee and Andrew child on with the Jack
01:00:07.860
Reacher series. And they talked about why fictional work was so much more important than self-help.
01:00:13.240
And I'm like, yeah, I don't know. And then I started really contemplating and read more fictional
01:00:17.660
work. And I'm like, you know, maybe there's actually something to this. And I know you do
01:00:21.820
a lot of fictional work as well. Yeah. Well, it's at least a hundred percent, right. I've
01:00:26.260
tried to talk, uh, talk to people about this. It's a way you can drive a message better than
01:00:34.280
if you're reading some kind of a nonfiction self-help book, because what happens in the
01:00:38.240
character building, everybody will, you'll connect to a character, right? Typically you can actually,
01:00:43.580
say, say if it's a Reacher series, say you'll, you'll find rapport with Reacher. You're connecting
01:00:48.780
with him. And so when he's making decisions, you're also thinking, well, what would I do?
01:00:52.380
Would I do this? Would I do that? You're critiquing, you know, cause you're, you're essentially
01:00:55.860
kind of being him. And so the things or the issues or whatever that he's dealing with and
01:01:01.100
you're dealing with. And so it's, it's definitely a way to drive, to drive, to drive a message
01:01:06.220
home because of this, that emotional connection we get with a character. And I got so many
01:01:12.200
people that reached out to me and how they guys, even women, but guys, some guys like
01:01:18.280
I've become a prepper now because I was reading your books. Like, Holy shit, I need to lock
01:01:22.600
my shit down now. I need to be, you know, like, because you're reading and you're watching
01:01:26.080
what's happened to some of these characters. Like, I can't do that. I need to like, I need
01:01:29.320
to get a gun. I need prepared. I need to have this. I'm good. I said, good, good. Because
01:01:33.360
they were seeing what was happening to the characters that didn't have those resources or didn't
01:01:37.680
have those skillsets. Like, I don't want to be like that. I don't want to do that because
01:01:41.840
it was emotional. It was hitting them here. And that, that here made them go here. And
01:01:47.760
they're like, Oh, and then they acted outside of it. And it's so, yeah, fiction is very, very
01:01:52.960
powerful, very powerful. And then you have to look at it this way. Human beings, man, we're
01:01:58.180
structured. We're storytellers. So think about this. When you wake up to when you go to bed,
01:02:04.520
you're either consuming stories or telling stories or good point. You are a story can
01:02:11.180
be just a narrative that you're on social media. You're looking at, it could be you, maybe
01:02:14.900
you're actually reading a book or watching, you know, listen to a podcast, listen to us
01:02:18.380
tell stories, right. Or you're watching a movie or then, yeah, you're going, you're telling
01:02:23.900
a story to, uh, to someone, you know, you work with, you're telling a story, they're listening
01:02:27.700
and then they're telling you a story back. Humans were conditioned just to tell stories.
01:02:31.260
It's all we do all the time. And then when we sleep, we're having a story run in our
01:02:34.620
brain, right? It's a constant storytelling. We're just, we're storytellers. That's what
01:02:42.220
Yeah. Well, it's powerful when you tell yourself the right stories and you consume the right
01:02:46.640
stories as well, because you can consume a lot of stories. You know, politicians love
01:02:50.340
to feed us stories that aren't in our best interest, for example. So I think it's really
01:02:54.320
important that we remain vigilant towards the stories we're consuming and telling ourselves
01:02:59.220
because that I think will largely determine how we're going to act throughout the rest
01:03:03.620
Well, look at, we'll look at what they call it. They call it a political narrative. It's
01:03:09.200
It's a story. They, they'll concoct a story to try to convince us or gaslight us to think
01:03:15.760
a certain way. Um, yeah, it's, it's, it, and so that's why Lee's a hundred percent right
01:03:21.920
that novels, if done right, can deliver a message more powerfully than if you picked up some
01:03:28.300
other book and get someone to move to action faster. Um, one, uh, are you familiar with
01:03:36.840
I don't think so. No, it's eighties, nineties. He wrote a book. I read it in the nineties
01:03:40.820
got undaunted courage. That was about the Lewis and Clark expedition. Oh my God. Stephen, Stephen
01:03:47.300
had a way he's passed on. I think he died in the early two thousands, but he had a way
01:03:51.980
of delivering history, like a story. So it was just an incredible book learning about,
01:03:58.440
you know, you have to meet Jefferson and Meriwether Lewis and you get in, and, and there's a big
01:04:03.820
John Clark and the core of discovery. And it was such a fascinating read. And I, you know,
01:04:12.820
I encourage you to read it. You just really learn about what these men went through on their
01:04:16.800
travels across the wilderness and it was 1803 or whatever it was, but it was so powerful
01:04:24.100
because he wrote it. He wrote history like a story. And so you become involved in it and
01:04:31.100
you're, you're completely, you're, you're involved with Meriwether Lewis. And then like sad when
01:04:37.140
you find out what happens to him at the end. And yeah, I don't want to spoil it for anyone
01:04:40.520
who's not familiar with what ever happened to Meriwether Lewis.
01:04:42.100
Don't because I'm interested. Yeah. I'm very interested.
01:04:44.040
It's just, it's just, and it, but then he's like, he's, he's just dotting in all these facts,
01:04:48.360
all this true historical facts along the way. Like this is, this is a crazy factoid.
01:04:53.400
I'm not spoiling it here, but just like they were consuming up to nine pounds of meat a day.
01:05:02.680
Based on how much calories, how many calories they were burning?
01:05:04.700
Yeah. And so, so he took incredible walks. He had all these journals. It's a lot of information
01:05:09.300
came from Meriwether, from Lewis's journals. Yeah. They were consuming, each guy was consuming
01:05:13.880
about nine pounds of meat a day. I mean, I do that too sometimes, but I'm definitely
01:05:18.860
not burning that much. So, but it was just crazy. I mean, so they're getting this game
01:05:23.340
and they're just consuming a lot of meat, a lot of meat. I was just a one little factoid
01:05:27.120
they learned, but yeah, I absolutely encourage you reading undaunted courage. You'll come away
01:05:31.180
just completely inspired. Like what these guys are capable of doing, what they did do.
01:05:36.240
It was truly, truly cool story. What these men did. I, it made me like, good God, I wish
01:05:40.860
I was on the core of discovery. That was so exciting. Well, it's like, what an adventure.
01:05:45.840
Yeah. Well, this, this, this reminds me a little bit of, um, uh, gosh, now I'm drawing
01:05:51.700
a blank Shackleton's adventure, um, to, to the, uh, to the South pole, the Antarctic.
01:05:59.100
Um, oh yeah. Gosh, this is one of my favorite books. I can't believe that. I can't remember
01:06:04.760
it right now, but the, as the legacy goes, he basically put an ad out that said, Hey,
01:06:10.680
our likelihood of success is bismal. But if we do, we're going to be heroes and legends.
01:06:16.620
And, uh, uh, Ernest Shackleton, what is the book called? Ah, it's going to frustrate me.
01:06:23.300
I'll figure it out. But I think it's the same concept. We see heroic actions like this
01:06:28.220
and we, as men want to step into that, you know? Yeah. We, we, we seek adventure. And again,
01:06:33.700
I think it ties into purpose. We, you know, um, this is something I think, and I don't,
01:06:39.120
I don't know if there's not based on any sciences based on, I I've often wondered,
01:06:44.300
you know, about again, going down to the human condition and things like that. When you look at
01:06:48.380
PTSD, right. And you look at guys who serve and some guys have a very tough time transitioning back
01:06:56.180
and other guys don't, I'm like, okay, what's, what's, what's going on here? Is there some kind
01:07:01.600
of common denominator? Um, that, that, and I, I have a theory and not a hundred percent. I'm not,
01:07:09.100
so don't like, I'm not quoting me. There's no science or peer reviewed papers on my thought on
01:07:14.480
this. But, you know, I look at like, I was, when I exited the Marine Corps after six years,
01:07:19.960
I think I successfully transitioned because I went, I was still with the guys who understood me.
01:07:26.740
I went from the military to commercial diving school and everyone at commercial diving school
01:07:30.740
was in the military. So we all spoke the same language. And then, and then I went from there
01:07:37.880
after two and a half years and became a bodyguard again, same thing. Ex-military cops or body military,
01:07:45.380
law enforcement, law enforcement. We all speak the same lingo. We all speak the same language.
01:07:49.320
So I, I was able to like come back into civilian, you know, society, fully re-implement myself
01:07:56.500
after 10 years of just constantly hanging with the people that understood me. And I think sometimes
01:08:03.240
you might get some guys that they're on, like, think of the purpose, you know, specifically during
01:08:08.580
the wars, like think of the purpose you had. You were, you were in history. You were taking part in
01:08:15.660
military campaigns, taking part in operations that there were meaningful purpose-driven stuff.
01:08:23.840
You had, you, you know, when you look at, you look at the military too, you know, young men are given
01:08:29.240
such responsibility at such young age. Like, like, like, if you look at enlisted, you have 22 year old
01:08:35.940
corporals or NCOs or sergeants. These are leaders of men at such young age, such huge responsibility
01:08:42.620
on their shoulders. And they're doing it. They're handling it. So these young men have some incredible
01:08:48.400
purpose. And then they come home and then they get out and then they end up in, they're in Ames,
01:08:56.120
Iowa, wherever they're from. And no one understands them. No one gets them. And now they're thinking
01:09:02.300
about all the shit and everyone they're hanging out with, let's tell me what happened. Like,
01:09:07.800
they don't get it. They don't understand me. And you've just been taken away from this
01:09:12.780
larger than life kind of adventure in some ways. I mean, I look at the military. It was definitely
01:09:17.340
an adventure. They're like, what'd you do? I got the blow up shit. It's pretty cool. Um,
01:09:21.440
it, it is, it's a, when you really look at it, but it's, it's a grand adventure to make what you did.
01:09:28.320
You left home, you travel around the world or whatever you did, cool stuff. And you, now you're doing
01:09:34.400
whatever you're working at a grocery store or you're back in college, but no one understands
01:09:38.020
you. And I think that can be a part of some people having some mental breaks or not doing
01:09:44.880
well with mental health. And I'm saying, I'm not taking away from some of the experiences they had,
01:09:49.660
but then again, I'd look at some guys that have had the same similar experiences yet. They don't
01:09:53.280
have that happen to them. So I just wonder what's, what drives some of it. And again, I don't know
01:10:01.260
for sure. But I know I just look at my own experience and then just always hanging. I just,
01:10:05.900
I like, I never skipped a beat six years. And then two years, all the guys were in the military.
01:10:10.580
We were all talking the same shit, talk the same language, bodyguards, same thing. We're all just,
01:10:14.600
I was hanging with the same guys again. Like I never left for a long period of time. And then
01:10:19.400
eventually civilian friends. And then now I'm here where I'm today. And again, imagine being
01:10:24.220
transplanted, being with a platoon, being with a unit of guys, you've been through a lot of shit.
01:10:28.520
Now you're out. Now you're dropped somewhere in the middle of nowhere back home. No one gets
01:10:33.160
you. No one understands you. Well, I remember coming home and I watched a, I can't remember
01:10:39.340
if it was a young man or young woman berate, literally berate the, the cashier, the sweet
01:10:45.660
little young woman who's probably 17, 16 years old because she didn't put enough mocha frappuccino
01:10:53.020
in her Starbucks latte or whatever. And I thought, this is what we're worried about. Like
01:11:00.280
this, I just got back. Like, this is what we're concerned about. And it gave you an entirely
01:11:06.880
different perspective on the things that we get consumed with.
01:11:15.440
Well, Jeff, Hey, uh, I'd love to know how to connect with you. I think the guys probably
01:11:19.720
really resonate with this conversation. You've got your, um, your nonfiction series that I
01:11:25.080
want to make sure you address. The name of that book, by the way, is endurance. I can't
01:11:29.980
believe that I could not remember it. It's such a great, it's one of my favorite books.
01:11:37.360
You'll love it. It is, it is a, it is a, uh, historical account of Ernest Shackleton's
01:11:45.100
ill-fated adventure across the Antarctic. Uh, it's phenomenal. And it gives us a framework.
01:11:51.060
When I was doing Spartan races, that was required reading. They had us before I went
01:11:55.360
and did this endurance event. It was a, uh, a 50 hour endurance event with Spartan. And
01:12:00.480
they said, you will read this book before you come. And I'm so glad they made me because
01:12:04.500
it's one of my favorites, but regardless, how do we connect with you?
01:12:08.040
Yeah. Let me ask you that when you're, I can see why they would do that for you. Cause
01:12:10.960
then when you're in the middle of the race, you're probably thinking of those guys.
01:12:13.380
Well, it's a frame of reference. It's like, okay, I can do this. Wait a minute. Those
01:12:18.680
guys did that. I can do that. This is nothing. Like these guys are yelling at me. I'm hiking
01:12:24.140
up a hill. I don't have any sleep. I'm not really all that cold, maybe a little cause we
01:12:28.820
were wet. Um, and these guys are dying in the Antarctic and they're surviving. So they're
01:12:35.160
facing leopard seals and starvation and trekking across dozens, if not hundreds of miles across
01:12:42.000
barren landscape in the middle of the winter, if they can do that, I can hang for another
01:12:49.300
Yeah. I think that that, and I know we gotta, we gotta jump off here, but I was just like,
01:12:53.500
that's the importance. I think that our military branches need to continue to do. And as instill
01:12:59.500
the culture in the history of whatever branch we were in and to honor whatever they did or like
01:13:07.160
our forefathers, where they came from, because that's what we look at as like, Hey, being a
01:13:11.660
Marine, it's always like, they do that. They were like a cult, man. They like brainwashed
01:13:15.500
us. Right. And to like the, the, the history of all the different campaigns. And we learned
01:13:22.200
about the guys in Okinawa and the 72 days of sustained combat. It's the game thing. It's
01:13:26.220
like, if those guys can do that, I can do this. You know, you, so you, you want to be part
01:13:31.760
of that lineage, right? You want to be part of something that's great, that huge fraternity.
01:13:38.560
So it's good to know where we come from. And this kind of can tie into our ourselves as
01:13:44.660
a nation state, why it's important to teach our history and be proud of ourselves as a
01:13:49.840
nation. Cause look at what we've done through there and then be proud to be an American and
01:13:54.880
then want to continue on with that, that culture, that lineage of what our forefathers did. We're
01:14:03.180
going to do the same thing and continue this American dream forward, this manifest destiny.
01:14:08.540
So I think culture teaching positively the lessons of what our forefathers that are, it's critical,
01:14:14.740
critical. Again, it's the storytelling. It's goes back to the storytelling thing.
01:14:19.480
Well, how do we connect with you and learn more about what you're up to so we can, uh,
01:14:22.480
sync up and read your books and follow along with your journey?
01:14:25.380
Yeah. Well, the best thing to do is just find me on, uh, gmichaelhop.com on my books. So there,
01:14:29.560
my emails there, you can get, you get in touch with me there. I kind of got rid of all my social
01:14:33.680
media a little bit ago. That's a whole nother story.
01:14:36.360
That's probably a good idea. That's probably a good idea. Are you familiar with, uh, Cal Newport
01:14:41.800
That sounds really familiar to me. Why do I know him?
01:14:44.700
Uh, he, he wrote a book, I believe it's called, don't quote me on this, but for some reason,
01:14:56.640
He may have been, I actually don't know. We've had him on the podcast a couple of times and he
01:15:00.920
talks about the entire concept of minimalist work, you know, not getting distracted with
01:15:07.060
technology and social media and counterintuitively. He's very, very popular. And you wouldn't even,
01:15:15.820
most people wouldn't even know cause he's not on social media at all. He's nowhere to be found.
01:15:20.480
Yeah. I got rid of it. I still have a Facebook there. Cause I didn't want to delete it. Cause
01:15:23.440
I had all these pictures of my daughters and then I got rid of the Instagram. I just deleted
01:15:28.840
that Instagram. I got rid of LinkedIn, got rid of all that shit. And I was like, it didn't change
01:15:33.520
my sales. Didn't change my reach. Uh, you know, like I have so much more time and I find when I
01:15:40.620
was on social media, like creates a different emotional state. I feel detached. Like I feel detached
01:15:46.300
from right. Everything around me, because think about your attention shotgunned all over the
01:15:51.060
world. When I should be just focused on like focus on this conversation right now. And then when I'm
01:15:56.700
done, my wife's just got home. I'll go give my attention to her, not beyond giving attention to
01:16:00.840
something somewhere around halfway around the world. Doesn't make sense that I have no connection to.
01:16:05.200
Yeah. So I felt it. So he wrote a couple of books that he wrote so good. They can't ignore you,
01:16:10.320
which I love deep work. Another great one. And then the other one that I was talking about is
01:16:15.480
not digital detox. It's digital minimalism is the other one. So check it out. But Jeff,
01:16:21.820
we're going to sync everything up. So the guys know where to connect with you and pick up copies
01:16:25.000
of your work. And man, I'm really grateful for this conversation. I think we may need to run it back
01:16:29.060
here very soon. Cause we need to talk about some other things as well. And maybe we can do a part
01:16:34.080
two down the road as well. Yeah. We, we should take the deeper dive into the fourth turning and,
01:16:38.180
uh, generational theory. And, um, yeah, that's some, it's good to learn it. And then once you
01:16:45.520
take the deep dive, you'll be like, Oh shit, like we're in it. Like this is it. Right. I want to talk
01:16:52.520
about that for round two. If you're up for it. I'm in. Awesome, man. Cool. We'll make it happen.
01:16:57.380
All right. Thank you, brother. Appreciate you joining me today. I appreciate you, Ryan. Thank you for
01:17:00.780
having me. There you go, gentlemen, my conversation with the one and only Jeff Hoff. I hope you enjoyed it.
01:17:07.600
Uh, very enlightening. We're going to do a round two. We already talked about it. We're going to do a
01:17:11.100
round two. And, uh, I think you're going to get a lot of insight from that as well. I only knew
01:17:16.000
Jeff through that quote, which I did not originally hear from him, but he did indeed pen that phrase
01:17:21.800
and that term. And, uh, obviously he has a lot more insight to back it up. So make sure you connect
01:17:26.900
with him. He's got his nonfiction book series. Check those out. We talked a little bit about that
01:17:31.500
throughout the podcast. Uh, also check out our course coming up divorce, not death.com
01:17:37.260
divorce, not death.com. I think that's going to help a lot of you guys navigate. Not only some
01:17:42.040
of the stuff that I've been through post divorce, but some of the things that I'm sure thousands,
01:17:48.040
if not tens of thousands or millions of other men listening to this podcast have gone through
01:17:52.180
and we're going to help you navigate that. So you can hold your head up high, redeem yourself,
01:17:56.460
fix yourself, potentially get into a new relationship and make yourself into a better man.
01:18:01.960
All right, guys, you've got your marching orders. We will be back tomorrow for our ask me anything
01:18:06.860
until then go out there, take action and become the man you are meant to be.
01:18:14.680
Thank you for listening to the order of man podcast. You're ready to take charge of your life
01:18:19.340
and be more of the man you were meant to be. We invite you to join the order at order of man.com.