Order of Man - February 04, 2022


Have Some Self-Respect! ｜ FRIDAY FIELD NOTES


Episode Stats


Length

33 minutes

Words per minute

172.05272

Word count

5,718

Sentence count

418

Harmful content

Misogyny

9

sentences flagged

Hate speech

9

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, Ryan talks about the battle to reclaim masculinity and restore it to its rightful place in society. He also discusses the importance of self-respect and why it is so important in order to be a good man.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest. Embrace your fears and boldly chart
00:00:04.960 your own path. When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time. Every time.
00:00:10.400 You are not easily deterred or defeated. Rugged. Resilient. Strong. This is your life. This is who
00:00:17.080 you are. This is who you will become. At the end of the day, and after all is said and done,
00:00:22.620 you can call yourself a man. Gentlemen, what is going on today? My name is Ryan Michler.
00:00:27.580 I'm your host, and I'm also the founder of the Order Man Podcast and Movement. If you're here
00:00:33.260 and you're visiting us for the very first time, I want to welcome you. I'm really glad you're here.
00:00:38.180 If you've been with us for any amount of time, whether it's been a month or a year or seven years,
00:00:43.860 which is as long as we've been going, welcome back, and thanks for being in this battle with me.
00:00:48.800 And if you're wondering what the battle is, guys, the battle is to reclaim and restore masculinity.
00:00:53.620 It's evident to me that society has undermined, I will say, at a minimum, and I'm hesitant to use
00:01:03.380 the word attacked masculinity, but I do believe there is a battle, a battle being waged, a war being
00:01:11.940 waged on what masculinity is, what it means, why it's important, why it's relevant, how it serves
00:01:18.220 society. And I think much of it is perpetuated by two things. The powers that be, that's our
00:01:24.980 government, that's these institutions, that's entertainment. Anybody who wants your attention
00:01:30.480 is going to undermine what it means to be a man because weak men aren't able to withstand
00:01:38.820 some of the temptations and the battles that are being waged.
00:01:44.020 And then I also believe it's perpetuated by ignorant people, people that sure don't have
00:01:50.020 any problem enjoying the luxuries and the benefits of what masculinity has provided throughout the
00:01:54.820 ages, but they love to complain about it while they're yapping on their smartphones, while they
00:02:03.560 have the freedoms to be able to do it in the first place, because men were able to fight and battle
00:02:09.460 and lay down their lives for the freedoms that we enjoy. So I'm attempting here to reclaim and
00:02:16.480 restore masculinity and put it back on the mantle where it belongs. And to that end, we do these
00:02:21.320 podcasts. This is your Friday field notes. This is a little different, obviously, than our interview
00:02:24.880 shows. We've had tremendous, tremendous success. We just had Brian Callen on the podcast. Matt
00:02:31.080 Fraser, five-time CrossFit champion, is on the podcast next week. So we have those incredible
00:02:37.300 conversations. But this one in particular is just some things I've been thinking about.
00:02:42.580 And many of you know that I'm in the process. Actually, I'm no longer in the bulk of the work
00:02:51.020 that I need to do with regards to writing the book, because I just finished the first manuscript
00:02:55.600 earlier this week. But there's a chapter in the book called self-respect.
00:03:01.840 And as I look around at men, and I talk with thousands and thousands of men on an annual basis
00:03:10.340 about what they're dealing with, what they're struggling with, how they can improve themselves,
00:03:14.740 how they can step up and lead, not only themselves, but their families and the employees they have,
00:03:20.780 or their coworkers, or members, or people in the community, their neighbors. What I see is that a lot
00:03:27.160 of men want to go out there, and they want to lead, and they want to serve, and they want to make an
00:03:31.200 impact, and they want to help, and they want to leave their mark on the world, which is noble.
00:03:36.320 It's good. But a lot of these guys have some real self-esteem issues. They have some real self-respect
00:03:42.460 issues. And what I found in my own personal life, I'm speaking from experience here, is that you can't
00:03:49.760 really ask, in all fairness, for somebody else to respect you if you don't respect yourself.
00:03:56.780 The level of respect that other people have for you generally is in direct proportion to the level
00:04:03.500 of respect that you have for yourself. I got thinking about this, not only because I'm writing
00:04:08.020 the book, but earlier today, I jumped on the phone with one of our vendors, and the way that they
00:04:17.180 were communicating with me showed a real lack of respect for me. And instead of just letting it
00:04:28.820 slide or brushing it off, I said something, respectfully, but I said something. I said,
00:04:35.000 you know, the way that you're speaking to me right now shows a real level of disrespect,
00:04:39.040 and I don't appreciate it. So, we can either be respectful towards each other,
00:04:44.420 or we don't have to do business together. Now, 5, 6, 7, 8 years ago, I would have let that slide.
00:04:54.020 I would have let other people talk to me like that. But I refuse to do that right now. And I refuse to
00:04:59.200 do it now because I have a level of respect for myself that I won't be talked to that way,
00:05:04.920 especially when I'm doing business with you. I'm paying you. You're definitely not going to treat
00:05:10.640 me like that. But I know a lot of you guys who are listening, who are willing to roll over,
00:05:16.080 you're willing to kowtow to some of these individuals and these people who will treat
00:05:21.060 you with a level of, at best, disrespect, and at worst, some sort of disdain for who you are.
00:05:27.860 And I can't help but think if you're willing to expose yourself to that,
00:05:32.000 that you probably don't think very highly of yourself. Because the men who think highly of
00:05:39.020 themselves don't allow themselves to be treated the way that so many people would treat you.
00:05:46.220 So, as I wrote the book, and I specifically worked on this chapter over the past several weeks,
00:05:51.160 and I had this little conversation today with one of our vendors,
00:05:55.000 I started thinking about some strategies and some tactics that you can employ in your life
00:06:01.440 to ensure that not only do you have a level, healthy, mature level of respect for yourself,
00:06:09.840 but that you command that respect. And when I say command, I'm not telling that you bark orders.
00:06:15.700 That's not what I mean in this context when I say command. I'm saying that people know how to
00:06:21.560 treat you because you know how to treat yourself. And sometimes this is difficult because we as men
00:06:27.380 feel like, and I've, I've perpetuated this, this thought process here in the podcast over the past
00:06:33.540 seven years, that it's our responsibility to go out into the world and to serve others. And it is,
00:06:41.120 it definitely is. I believe that you're going to find a deep, meaningful sense of joy and fulfillment
00:06:50.660 and satisfaction in your life. When you go out and you serve others in a meaningful way.
00:06:57.980 But I also know that the only way to be able to do that to its maximum potential is to ensure that
00:07:05.600 you're taking care of yourself and to ensure that you think highly of yourself.
00:07:11.480 Society would say, don't do it, right? Don't be prideful. Don't be arrogant. Don't think too
00:07:16.160 highly of yourself. And like, I get that. I can agree with that to, to some extent,
00:07:20.500 but we've lost the narrative. You have to love yourself. You have to respect yourself.
00:07:31.060 You have to be willing to take care of yourself. And only then can you adequately take care of others.
00:07:37.860 So let's get to these. I identified five. A few of these are in the book. And by the way,
00:07:42.220 if you want to know more about the book, then just sign up on order of man.com for our newsletter,
00:07:46.460 because I'll be sharing snippets and information and when it's available and how to get on the
00:07:51.020 pre-order list and how to become part of this, the sales launch team, all that kind of stuff.
00:07:58.280 So order of man.com, you can join the email list there. Number one, guys, fill your cup first,
00:08:04.300 fill your cup first. You know, I know it's generally a leadership principle that you have to put the needs
00:08:08.600 of others above your own and you have to serve them. And I get that. Like, I actually don't see
00:08:13.800 anything wrong with that. You know, there's times where I put the needs of my children or my wife
00:08:17.500 or even my clients above the needs of my own, because I want to be a leader. I want to be
00:08:23.560 effective. I want to help, but that isn't sustainable. And so those should be isolated
00:08:27.560 experiences, but you really need to fill your cup first, guys. You really need to ensure that you
00:08:33.720 carve out time every single day out of, out of your, your day and your week to take care of
00:08:40.060 yourself. That could be visualization or meditation or going for a short walk or training jujitsu or
00:08:47.580 reading a good book or reading the scriptures or practicing the guitar or painting or going out and
00:08:54.900 doing some photography or going for a walk. I don't know what it looks like for you, but I want to give
00:09:00.240 you permission as if you needed it, that you, you have full permission to go out and take care of
00:09:06.000 yourself. Now, if it comes at the expense of your obligations and responsibilities, that's a problem.
00:09:11.480 Okay. There's a line, right? It's a spectrum on one end of the spectrum. You allow yourself to get
00:09:16.940 railroaded. You allow other people's priorities become your problems and you never get anything
00:09:22.000 done of your own. And you think less of yourself on the other end of the spectrum is you only look out for
00:09:27.040 yourself. You only care about yourself. You only do the things that are going to fulfill and uplift you
00:09:32.540 and you don't worry about anybody else. Okay. That's a problem too. There's a, there's a middle ground.
00:09:40.600 So you need to take care of yourself in moderation so that when the time comes and it will come,
00:09:48.300 it happens every day that somebody else needs you. You know, your daughter needs to have a conversation
00:09:55.820 or even just a tea party with you. Your son needs to wrestle with you or have a deep and meaningful
00:10:02.700 conversation. Your wife needs to be able to talk about her day and what's going on and the problems 1.00
00:10:09.920 that she might be dealing with. And she needs you to be able to step into that role. A client or an
00:10:15.300 employee needs you to help them with one of their problems. Your employer needs to task you with an
00:10:21.660 assignment to be able to move the business in the right direction. All that stuff is wonderful. And
00:10:26.760 I want you to be able to do those things. I want you to be able to fulfill those roles. But in order
00:10:32.080 to do that for sustainable periods of time, you need to take care of yourself. I like the 80-20 rule.
00:10:39.580 It's not perfect. There's going to be exceptions to it. But if 80% of your waking hours are spent on
00:10:46.700 serving others and helping others and leading your family and growing your business and servicing your
00:10:52.020 clients, then the other 20% of the time should be focused on you. Now, I'm not going to tell you
00:10:57.280 when and how and where and all that kind of stuff to do it. You need to find a time to do it. I prefer
00:11:01.760 early in the morning or later in the evening. Early in the morning because nobody's out of bed.
00:11:07.620 Later in the evening because my kids are in bed. So early in the morning, late in the evening
00:11:12.300 allows me to do the things that are important for me to respect myself enough to take care of myself
00:11:19.740 and fill my cup first, but not have it completely impact my relationship with my kids or my wife or
00:11:26.540 my clients or employees, et cetera. Number two, guys, do not become a punching bag.
00:11:34.340 Don't allow yourself to become a punching bag. And if you do number one correctly, 80-20 rule,
00:11:39.960 then it's not as likely that you're going to allow other people to railroad you, to treat you poorly,
00:11:45.460 to mistreat you, to disrespect you like that call I had with a vendor today.
00:11:52.020 I'm not going to be your punching bag. I don't care what your problems are. I don't care what
00:11:57.460 issues you have. Let me say it this way. I'll back up a little bit. I do care about those things,
00:12:03.220 especially if it's somebody in my life. I care if you're having a problem,
00:12:06.020 but I don't allow you to take those problems out on me because I think highly of myself
00:12:14.460 enough that I'm not going to be your punching bag. I'll be your sounding board. I'll be your
00:12:21.020 shoulder to cry on. Sure. I'll be a valuable resource in your life for good and productive
00:12:27.560 outcomes, but I won't be your punching bag. I won't allow you to mistreat me. I won't allow you
00:12:34.180 to disrespect me. I won't allow you to walk all over me. I won't allow you to exploit me.
00:12:41.420 I care about myself enough that if somebody's going to treat me like that, I disengage. I sever
00:12:48.360 the ties. I don't worry about the relationship and I drive on with the people who are meaningful
00:12:52.860 and significant in my life. And I don't care if that's friends, family members, whatever,
00:12:57.360 not even my wife. And I've committed fully to her. I'm not going to be her punching bag. And I don't
00:13:04.260 expect her to be my punching bag because look, let's be honest. I've done and said some things
00:13:09.760 in my life to my wife where maybe I have tried to let her be my punching bag. And I hope that she
00:13:18.240 stands up for herself. I don't want to be that guy. Like we've all been there for sure, but I don't
00:13:23.680 want to be that guy. So I need to respect myself enough. And I need to teach the people in my life
00:13:29.380 to respect themselves enough. I remember as a very small example, my son, my oldest son fills
00:13:36.300 orders. So if you've gotten a hat or a shirt or a battle planner or whatever, it's likely that you've
00:13:43.060 received that from my son. He'll write you a handwritten note expressing his appreciation,
00:13:49.060 but he takes emails. He fills orders. He ships them out. He does all of it.
00:13:54.240 It fulfills inventory, all that kind of stuff. And not too long ago, about a month ago,
00:14:00.140 a lady reached out and she was really, really disrespectful to him. She was wrong. Contrary
00:14:06.400 to popular belief, the client is not always right. I've never bought into that. She was flat out wrong.
00:14:12.380 So my son showed me the email and she was very disrespectful. She was very rude.
00:14:15.860 So I sent her email back with, I was polite, but I was firm. I was firm, firm, but fair as the saying
00:14:26.020 goes. And I said, look, I try to teach my son respect, how to give it to other people and how
00:14:32.380 to command it from other people. You're not going to talk to me or him or anybody else this way.
00:14:39.080 Here's what we've tried to do. Here's how we've tried to make the situation right. Even though you
00:14:44.000 were the one who messed up. And so don't come at me and certainly don't come at my son because I teach
00:14:50.020 him how to respect and how to be respected. We don't allow ourselves to become punching bags.
00:14:57.640 And so the first line of defense is making sure that not only are you taking care of yourself,
00:15:02.200 but you have the balls to call somebody out when they're mistreating you.
00:15:06.860 That's not comfortable. It's not easy. It's oftentimes confrontational and it should be.
00:15:14.140 And sometimes people need to be checked and nobody's willing to check them. Nobody's ever
00:15:21.480 checked them. That's why they think they can get away with the bullshit. They might be pulling on you
00:15:26.580 and you might actually be the first person to ever put that person in their place. And that's exactly
00:15:34.380 what they need. Not only should you worry about taking care of yourself, but you're actually
00:15:40.420 doing them a service because now they're going to learn what's acceptable and what isn't. And I refuse
00:15:46.800 to allow myself and my people, my wife, my children, my colleagues, my employees, my coworkers to be
00:15:54.200 mistreated and disrespected. And I have the balls and I have the spine to say something about it when it
00:16:00.120 comes up. If it continues, I sever the ties. If my little verbal check gets things in place,
00:16:06.120 I'm happy to continue a relationship because we all mess up from time to time, but it isn't going
00:16:10.920 to become a habit and it isn't going to become a pattern with me. That's the point I want you guys
00:16:16.120 to get to. Number three, guys, don't be desperate. Early on in my financial planning career, I remember
00:16:25.160 trying to work with clients, prospective clients, people that I wanted to do business with.
00:16:30.760 And I was so desperate for their business that I came, that I, that I is like oozing out of me.
00:16:38.080 That's, that's the desperation is what was communicated. Sure. I use the words I was supposed
00:16:42.420 to. And I went through the scripts that my training taught me to do. And my trainers encouraged me to use,
00:16:48.580 but the underlying foundation, what the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the fuel behind it was
00:16:55.400 desperation, not confidence. And people can read it and people can see it. And it's repulsive
00:17:02.820 guys. It's repulsive. Whether you're chasing around a potential employer, chasing around a client,
00:17:12.080 chasing around a woman, it's gross. It's just, it just shows a complete, complete lack of respect 1.00
00:17:19.720 for yourself. Like you're, you're cuckolding yourself. And, and I'll tell you what, here's
00:17:26.580 one of the challenges is that people oftentimes when you behave that way will be flattered by what it is
00:17:32.560 you're doing. Cause it feels good, right? You got somebody who's chasing you around. You got somebody
00:17:37.620 who needs you. And so people feel wanted. They feel appreciated. They feel respected,
00:17:43.320 but I'll tell you what, I do quite a bit of traveling and have over the past six months.
00:17:47.880 And occasionally I'll see a woman. And as I talk about this, you're, you're going to have a picture
00:17:53.080 in your mind of what this woman looks like. Big fake boobs, big, gross, dried out, bleached hair, 1.00
00:17:59.940 fake lips, caked on makeup on their face, stupid clothes. It just like grow, like gross. Okay. Gross
00:18:10.260 women that, by the way, that don't have any self-respect. So they cake on the makeup. They put 1.00
00:18:15.280 the clothes on, they put on the big fake titties, like gross women. And, and you'll see these women 1.00
00:18:21.880 and they'll have like a little chihuahua in this designer purse, probably a thousand dollar plus 1.00
00:18:28.600 purse or dog carrier or whatever it is. And that's what you guys are. Some of you, when you don't
00:18:38.840 have the self-respect, you should a healthy level of self-respect. You're the dog in the designer purse
00:18:46.840 with the gross woman who doesn't think that highly of herself. And so she can't really get a high value 1.00
00:18:54.160 man. And so she has to buy an expensive dog to feel needed. That's you. You're the lap dog.
00:19:03.080 You're the designer dog with the fake boobs, the fake lips, the fake hair, the fake makeup. That's you.
00:19:12.820 Don't be desperate. How do you not be desperate? One, you do the work required to thrive and succeed
00:19:19.920 on your own in your own life. You go into the gym, you learn how to communicate effectively.
00:19:27.060 You learn how to be proficient with your body. You learn the skill sets that you need to become
00:19:32.660 more of a man. These are basic skills like using a firearm, changing a tire on a car,
00:19:38.640 changing the oil, basic mechanics, but it's also the skill sets that you need to thrive at work.
00:19:43.420 So my skill sets are being able to communicate effectively, excuse me, effectively with you
00:19:49.020 behind a microphone in front of a camera is to ask good questions, is to put out good products,
00:19:55.920 is to learn digital marketing, to learn social media, to learn how to communicate effectively.
00:20:01.080 That's the skill set I need. Some of you guys will need the same. Some of you guys will need
00:20:05.000 completely different. And some of you will need some of what I have to offer and what other people
00:20:09.860 have to offer. But that's how you overcome being desperate is you work on yourself to the point
00:20:15.940 where you are not now chasing people around, but they're compelled. They're drawn to you.
00:20:25.220 I never want to be in the position where I need somebody in my life. For my wife, for example,
00:20:31.720 I don't want to need her in my life. I want her in my life because she enhances my life and she adds 0.81
00:20:38.980 value to my life. And she rounds out my perception of the world. And she offers me joy and satisfaction
00:20:45.780 and laughter and love and intimacy, but I don't want to need it. I just want to want it. And so I
00:20:54.200 have to become the best man that I can be so that I have the potential of offering the same thing to
00:21:00.760 her. And the relationship is now reciprocal. Think about that puppy dog. I know the dog's getting
00:21:08.920 some food and some treats, but it has to do a trick in order to get it. It isn't inherently valuable.
00:21:15.660 It's only as cute as it is, or as subservient as it is, or how many tricks it can do, or how many
00:21:24.160 people give that fake woman attention because of it. It's not inherently respected. 0.88
00:21:31.300 Don't be desperate. Number four.
00:21:38.880 Okay. I changed the order around a little bit here. I want you guys to learn to communicate and
00:21:44.280 uphold the boundaries. I alluded to that earlier when I had this conversation with this vendor.
00:21:49.260 You know, you could, you could let people get away with it, treating you like dog shit,
00:21:55.000 walking all over you, railroading, you exploiting, you taking advantage of what you offer. You can do
00:22:01.140 that. And you all have, I have don't don't because every time you let somebody mistreat you and you
00:22:09.460 know, they're mistreating you and you don't do anything about it. You're letting a little bit of
00:22:13.640 your soul die. So here's the, here's the phrase you encourage what you tolerate. So not, not only
00:22:21.500 when people mistreat you and you allow it, are you saying it's okay. You're actually encouraging them
00:22:27.240 to continue to do it. I'm not willing to do that, but in order to do that, you've got to stand up for
00:22:33.600 yourself. And that's hard, especially if you're a quote unquote, nice guy, it's hard because you think
00:22:40.480 you're being an asshole. You're probably actually not being an asshole. You're just a Overton window 0.69
00:22:46.280 of nice versus asshole is shifted to the nice side. It's not even realistic. So what you might
00:22:52.460 consider being a dick or an asshole might actually just be being a respected human being, but you've 0.70
00:23:01.040 shifted the Overton window so far to nice that you no longer are grounded in the reality of what
00:23:07.520 is assertive and what is aggressive. So you have to learn how to communicate and look, you can do it
00:23:15.700 in a respectful way, but this isn't the real world. Isn't Twitter where it's some faceless, nameless
00:23:25.060 account behind a fake avatar. You don't even know if that's that real person. So you can say things you
00:23:31.520 wouldn't say in real life. You, you can be respectful and still command a level of respect
00:23:39.120 from others. So with this vendor this morning, I said, look, the way that you're communicating with
00:23:45.360 me right now is very disrespectful. And I don't appreciate it. I wasn't a jerk. I wasn't rude.
00:23:52.860 I was just firm. And you know what? The entire tone of the conversation changed.
00:23:59.640 They immediately went from this weird demeanor of like, I feel like I'm better than you and you need
00:24:06.420 me and to very cordial, very mutually respectful. They were able to help me. I was able to help them.
00:24:15.420 We came to some understandings. We worked through a couple of issues that we had and we got it dealt
00:24:20.540 with because I respected myself enough to say, no, you're not going to treat me like that.
00:24:27.860 Here's, here's how you're going to treat me. And I would, I've done this with my wife and frankly,
00:24:34.660 she's done it with me. Hey, you don't, you don't talk to me like that. And it kind of like, whoa.
00:24:40.880 Okay. And you know what? I appreciate somebody who can actually do that. It means they have a spine.
00:24:46.320 It means that they're, they're a high powered person. They respect themselves enough
00:24:52.740 to treat themselves right and demand to be treated right from other people.
00:24:59.620 Do that guys, communicate. You got to communicate it first. Like you can't expect
00:25:03.420 people to just to treat you the way you want to be treated without ever communicating some of that
00:25:08.260 stuff. I mean, there's obviously a baseline of respect that I pay to all individuals unless they
00:25:12.720 prove otherwise. And then there's an elevated level of respect that people have to earn from me,
00:25:16.600 but you can communicate that. Hey, you know, earlier today, you said some things that were
00:25:24.000 hurtful. I didn't appreciate them. I don't mind you giving me feedback, but you're not going to say it
00:25:28.640 like that anymore. And if you do, here's what's going to happen. I'm going to disengage from the
00:25:33.440 conversation and we're, we're not going to, we're not going to go down that. And then you need to
00:25:38.980 uphold it. Okay. You've communicated it. Now when people step over the line, because it's kind of
00:25:43.720 like drawing a line in the sand, you draw a line in the sand. What do most people do? If somebody
00:25:47.600 crosses it, they're like, okay, well, no, that's a warning. Okay. But now I'm going to draw a new
00:25:51.700 line in the sand. And where is that new line in the sand? Is it in the same place? Hell no. It's
00:25:55.620 further back. So when people disrespect you and you draw that line in the sand, there needs to be a
00:26:02.520 consequence. Like the vendor I had this morning, when they were communicating with me the way they
00:26:07.420 were, I already had the line drawn. I know where, I know how I'm going to be treated.
00:26:13.060 And they stepped over the line. I said, no, you're going to go back on that side of the line. And
00:26:18.160 this is how you're going to treat me because I take care of myself and I respect myself enough.
00:26:25.660 And I also respect them enough to, I want to continue the relationship. It's a good vendor,
00:26:32.020 but it needs to be on my terms, not on whatever terms they feel is appropriate.
00:26:38.940 And the last point here, guys, is I talked about this Overton window of sliding. A lot of you guys
00:26:47.480 have moved from just like a really healthy perspective of self-respect and the way that
00:26:53.480 you treat other people, the way you expect other people to treat you. And you've moved that so far to
00:26:57.440 this nice side of things that you allow yourself to get railroaded and, and walked all over and
00:27:03.260 stepped on and get your nuts kicked, like all that kind of stuff. And so what I need you to do is I
00:27:07.760 need you to shift over to this other side, but there's an extreme on the other side and that's ego and
00:27:14.720 arrogance. So an example of that would be, um, let's take the vendor example I shared with you this
00:27:24.540 morning. If instead of saying, no, you're not going to treat me like that. You're being very
00:27:29.100 disrespectful. And here's what I expect in our conversations. If instead I said something like,
00:27:34.180 well, I can't believe you're talking to me like this. Don't you know who I am?
00:27:39.060 You need me. And I was like so far to the other side that I came across as arrogant or egotistical.
00:27:46.840 That's a problem too, because you're not better than other people. I'm not better than you.
00:27:51.820 I'm not better than that vendor. I'm not better than the person I talked with today.
00:27:56.040 And I didn't act like that. I don't believe I am. I believe everybody has an inherent
00:28:02.460 level of worth. Now they can undermine that by doing some bad shit. And if that's the case,
00:28:08.360 like I'm not going to engage in that, but everybody has an inherent level of worth.
00:28:12.280 And I am not better than anybody else. And you are not better than anybody else.
00:28:17.860 So you can have a level of self-respect, but I would be very, very cautious in allowing it to
00:28:27.100 go too far and becoming egotistical or arrogant and believing that your shit don't stink and you're 0.96
00:28:33.280 better than other people. You're not. You might know more than other people about a particular
00:28:37.860 subject. You might be further down the path than somebody else, but you're not better than other
00:28:42.880 people. So don't act like it. Find the common ground, find the middle ground of being able to
00:28:49.860 respect yourself enough to be treated fairly, to be communicated with correctly, but you don't need
00:28:55.680 to go overboard. And I think there is a belief in the self-help space, in the masculinity space,
00:29:03.340 that you just need to be the alpha, the alpha and the omega. What you say goes and screw everybody
00:29:10.640 else. Everybody else is a loser. Women are bitches. Your boss is an asshole and you're the best and 1.00
00:29:15.880 you're God's gift to whatever. You aren't. You're an active participant in life. You're an active
00:29:23.540 participant in the social experiment that we're all participating in. And cooperation is better
00:29:31.920 than singling yourself out, than thinking you're above everybody else. This is a problem that we have
00:29:39.860 from family dynamics to corporate communication, all the way to the higher echelons of federal
00:29:49.480 politics. You aren't better than me. You don't know more than me. You don't get to dictate what I do in
00:29:57.040 my life. Like you're not the most important thing and the world does not revolve around you.
00:30:03.940 That isn't what I'm talking about. When I say self-respect, it's healthy. It's, I care about
00:30:14.660 myself. I take care of my body. I take care of my mind. I take care of my spiritual side of things.
00:30:21.300 I take care of me emotionally and spiritually and mentally and physically, but I don't go overboard
00:30:28.060 by believing I'm better than anybody else. Cause that's a whole other trap that we'll talk about in
00:30:32.740 the future. But for now, guys, I want you to really, really be aware of the respect that you
00:30:39.880 have for yourself and know, as I started earlier in this podcast today, that the level of respect
00:30:44.840 that others have for you is in direct proportion to the level of respect that you have for yourself.
00:30:51.640 So let's recap. Number one, fill your cup first, mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually.
00:30:57.760 Number two, don't allow yourself to become a punching bag for other people or the butt of
00:31:04.200 everybody's jokes. You're not. Don't allow yourself to become that person. The way you do that is by,
00:31:11.960 well, number three is don't be desperate, but you're not going to be desperate when you're doing
00:31:16.280 the work required to have more clients, to have more connections, to have more wealth and abundance
00:31:25.760 and prosperity in your life. When I was early in my financial planning practice, I didn't have that
00:31:30.260 stuff. So I was desperate for the one person I met with to do business with me. Right before I sold my
00:31:35.820 financial planning practice, I was turning down referrals because I was doing the work. I wasn't
00:31:41.300 chasing people around. They were magnetized. They were drawn to me. Number four, communicate and
00:31:47.940 uphold the boundaries. Number five, don't let it go too far and become egotistical or arrogant.
00:31:53.440 All right, guys. Chew on that. Think on that. Hit me up on Facebook. Hit me up on Instagram,
00:31:58.940 Twitter. I'm most active on probably Instagram and then it's a tie between Twitter and Facebook.
00:32:06.540 So Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook, all at Ryan Mickler. Make sure you sign up for the emails and
00:32:13.380 that way you can know when the book comes out. If you would, please just leave a rating and review.
00:32:19.000 If you feel like you have another, a man in your life, whether it's your dad or your brother,
00:32:22.640 a friend, whoever, nephew, son, who needs to hear about self-respect, just take a screenshot
00:32:29.120 right now, shoot them a text, give them the link. Hey, go listen to this podcast. 30 minutes,
00:32:34.460 20 minutes. I don't even know what it is. 30 minutes. It'll really help. Whatever you can
00:32:39.580 do to spread the movement, get the awareness out there. We just hit 19 on the iTunes chart,
00:32:44.680 which is really cool. That's the highest we've ever been trying to crack the top 10 now. So keep
00:32:49.280 sharing those reviews, keep sharing the good word, take a screenshot, post on Instagram, Facebook,
00:32:53.260 all that kind of stuff. Uh, and remember to respect yourself. All right, guys, go out there,
00:33:01.200 take action and become the man you are meant to be. Thank you for listening to the order of man
00:33:05.860 podcast. You're ready to take charge of your life and be more of the man you were meant to be.
00:33:10.580 We invite you to join the order at order of man.com.