Order of Man - Healthy vs. Unhealthy Ambition, The World vs. The Gospel, and Being an Engaged Man ｜ ASK ME ANYTHING

00:00:00.000 You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest. Embrace your fears and boldly chart

00:00:04.980 your own path. When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time. Every time.

00:00:10.440 You are not easily deterred or defeated. Rugged. Resilient. Strong. This is your life. This is who

00:00:17.160 you are. This is who you will become. At the end of the day, and after all is said and done,

00:00:22.700 you can call yourself a man. Mr. Kip Sorensen, happy, belated,

00:00:26.880 Merry Christmas, all that kind of stuff. Happy New Year. Happy Holidays. Happy Kwanzaa.

00:00:32.100 Merry whatever. Whatever it is people celebrate. Happy Holidays. Merry Christmas.

00:00:36.920 Yeah. Thank you. Merry Christmas. That's just the right thing to say. Just Merry Christmas

00:00:40.620 and Happy New Year. That is also acceptable. Yeah, for sure. It's good to see you, man. Go ahead.

00:00:46.700 I enjoyed the, what are those tricycle things that you guys were playing with? I saw that post last

00:00:53.200 side. I was like, that looks so fun. So we've got a lot of the guys know, you know, obviously,

00:00:58.120 because you've been up here, but we've got this big barn. And when what we call our event season

00:01:03.840 shuts down, we just clear everything out. Everything's put away and whatnot. My second

00:01:09.680 son got a slack line for Christmas. So we set that up. But then my two youngest kids got those little

00:01:14.720 drifting tricycles, razor tricycles or something. I don't even know what they're called. And we were just

00:01:20.200 doing tricycle races last night in the barn and just tearing it up. Obviously it's way too small

00:01:26.260 for me. So I'm kind of thinking I might need to get one for myself, one big enough for myself.

00:01:31.460 But, um, yeah, I beat my oldest son. My daughter beat me by like three inches. And then my second

00:01:38.060 son, I don't think I've raced him yet. He's the reigning champion. So I still need to race him,

00:01:43.000 but we had a good time. Yeah. Yeah. He's, he's on the leaderboard to be determined later,

00:01:48.020 maybe this week. Yeah. I'm going to smoke him. I'm going to smoke him. I just crash into him and

00:01:52.400 make him spin out and then beat him. You know, that's, that's my style. Yeah. Cheat. It's not

00:01:57.480 cheating. It's part of the, it's the game. It's like on, uh, what's that movie? Oh, days of thunder.

00:02:04.260 What do they call it? Like rubbing is racing or racing is rubbing or something like that.

00:02:08.340 It's just part of the game, man. You don't like the game. Just stay, stay off the track. Cause that's

00:02:12.780 how I roll. How was your Christmas? Funny. It was good. It was good. We, we have usually a lot of

00:02:19.620 family over. Um, yeah, it was good. It blessed, grateful, you know, it's a good time of season to,

00:02:28.040 you know what I mean? To reflect a little bit about what we have and, and think about others. And so

00:02:33.680 Asia always does a really good job at making sure that we're not focused on ourselves and

00:02:38.600 you know what I mean? Thinking about other people. And so we, we had a couple opportunities. I think

00:02:43.100 that were really great for the kids. Um, every year lately, actually the last few years, Asia has 1.00

00:02:50.180 made a post on, on social media saying, Hey, what families need help that, that my network or my

00:02:56.080 circle knows about. Um, and then she, and then she figures out who those people are. And then,

00:03:01.040 and then also coordinates, all right, who wants to give and gathers all this stuff. And then we have

00:03:07.780 the kids go out and drop all that stuff off on Christmas Eve. And, and there's so great

00:03:13.680 opportunities for the kids to drop some stuff off with in particular, this one lady that had a stroke 1.00

00:03:20.240 and her husband's in and out of work and they're super emotional and just super grateful. And you

00:03:26.460 know what I mean? It's just so great to have the kids see that. Right. And for them to like, yeah,

00:03:31.560 you know what we are truly blessed and, and, and kind of deal in some reality a little bit. So.

00:03:38.000 It's good. I was, my wife and I were talking about it, uh, every year she bakes cookies and

00:03:43.000 puts together little snack things and whatnot for a bunch of families, mostly like friends and

00:03:46.860 neighbors and things like that. And then every year we have, I don't know, anywhere from 10 to 15

00:03:51.440 people bringing snacks and goodies and whatever dropping off on the door. Yeah. And look, I love it.

00:03:57.660 I really do. So I'm not being unappreciative of that, but my wife and I were talking last night and I

00:04:03.160 got thinking, you know, we probably spent, I don't know, 150, maybe dollars or so on chocolate

00:04:10.300 and rice Krispies and cookie batter and dough, like all this, like all this stuff. And then

00:04:16.680 all these other people spent probably the same amount, you know, a couple hundred bucks on the

00:04:20.840 same stuff. And then they give it to me and I'm like, I don't really need this stuff. Like,

00:04:25.220 like, I'm not hurting financially. I don't need a bunch of snacks and goodies and candy as it is.

00:04:31.100 Like, I don't need this stuff. I just want, I think maybe we should just take that a hundred

00:04:35.600 or that 150 or $200 for spending on giving to like 50 people and just go out and buy like five or

00:04:41.700 six big hams and give them to the homeless shelter or some charitable organization or church

00:04:49.700 in our area or like give it to somebody who needs it. Like, I don't need a bunch of Rice Krispie

00:04:55.360 treats on the counter for the next two months, but there's a family out there who needs a ham for

00:05:01.240 Christmas dinner and for leftovers for the next three weeks. Yeah. I kind of feel like we missed the

00:05:08.280 boat a little bit on that and we didn't do what was right with our, with our resources from that

00:05:14.720 standpoint. So I don't know. I've been thinking about that. My wife and I have been thinking about

00:05:18.060 that. And I think that's what we're going to do next year. I would challenge everybody else to do

00:05:23.360 that. Like, you don't need, I know you love me. You don't need to send me Rice Krispie treats.

00:05:26.340 Like I get it. We're friends. We're neighbors. Like, cool. Go save that money. Give it to somebody

00:05:32.000 who needs it. That's going to be way better spent than spending it on me and the 50 other people you

00:05:36.220 feel obligated to go visit on Christmas. Yeah. Yeah, for sure. Yeah. Well, you guys are better than

00:05:40.960 us. Cause I, I made homemade caramel and I, I did cross my mind to share with my neighbors. And I was

00:05:47.060 like, nah, I'm keeping this for myself. Candy's not a draw for me though. I'm not, I don't have a

00:05:55.400 sweet tooth. I have a carb tooth. Yeah, dude. If you put bread, pasta, chips, yeah. Carbs, a hundred

00:06:02.360 percent rolls. Yeah. You put candy in front of me. I'm like, nah, I'm not, I'm not that interested.

00:06:09.000 See, I have both problems. Cause we even had cinnamon rolls. No joke. Christmas. I ate five cinnamon

00:06:15.920 rolls. Well played. Well played. I'm like, oh my goodness. I'm going to be so sick. I like I was

00:06:22.340 thriving. I was like, I need real food by dinnertime. I was like real food, just some real food. Cause

00:06:29.060 I'm making myself sick. So anyhow. Well, all right, let's get into it today, man. This is a,

00:06:35.700 I believe this is the last ask me anything of the year. So let's end things in style. You got you and

00:06:42.780 Sean did a great job last week, by the way. So appreciate you guys holding down the fort and

00:06:47.020 doing more than that. It was super fun to chat with Sean. The funny part was assuming that you

00:06:54.240 listened, I had no idea that Sean was a LDS until. Oh, are you serious? Yeah. I had no idea. I was

00:07:02.340 like, yeah, I was like, oh, you're LDS. That's funny. Well, you know, he's in California. So you,

00:07:07.240 you preconceived notions about him just because he lives in California. Yeah. All right. Let's get

00:07:13.260 into it, brother. All right. Brian Reynolds. So we're fielding questions from Facebook. Join us

00:07:17.940 there. Facebook.com slash group slash order, man, Brian Reynolds. I mean, legit hardcore question

00:07:23.400 here. So we're just going to dive right into these. All right. Dealing with the loss of the parent

00:07:27.980 recommendations. I just grieve, man. Like, you know, it's interesting. We get, we get so caught

00:07:38.820 up in the self-development space and like, well, what book do you have? What podcast and what

00:07:43.600 recommendation and what email series and what course and what conference and what this and

00:07:48.380 what that, and it all serves its purpose. But sometimes you don't need a book. You don't

00:07:54.380 need advice. You don't need a podcast. You don't need a course. You don't need this. You don't need

00:07:58.080 that. You just need to grieve, you know, and go through that grieving process, deal with it,

00:08:04.380 internalize it, get the closure that you need physically, mentally, emotionally. I would also

00:08:09.860 say as a man, we ought to help other people do that too. And that actually helps me during the

00:08:13.800 grieving process is if I can help my kids get through it or my loved ones get through the loss of

00:08:20.780 of somebody that's important to them, then it gives me meaning to be able to help them grieve

00:08:26.820 properly and go through the process. But I don't, I don't really think that we need to strategize it.

00:08:33.200 And I don't think he is necessarily, but I just think just be present, you know, don't, don't worry

00:08:38.100 about what books or what advice or what, just be present, help those under your care, work through

00:08:44.360 the grieving process in very much the same way. And just know it's going to take time. And that's not

00:08:49.920 fun. It's not comfortable. It's natural and it's good. And it's the way it is. So be a patriarch,

00:08:57.920 lead your family well through this rough time and take care of yourself and grief. It's okay. Just

00:09:03.660 grief. That's it. Part of what I'm curious, Ryan is, and I'm not sure if you're saying this or not,

00:09:10.280 but we all grieve in our own way. So don't, don't latch on to the idea that like, this is the proper

00:09:16.400 way to, to deal with this and that you might have your own way and, and that's okay.

00:09:23.520 Yeah. I mean, we all have our own way of doing it, but we know psychologically that the grieving

00:09:27.940 process is a process, you know, and I don't, I'm not a psychologist, so I won't even pretend to know

00:09:33.840 what that technical process for grieving is. But I think generally we all go through the same

00:09:39.540 series, like denial and then acceptance. And then there's going to be anger. Why did you leave me?

00:09:45.580 So there's going to be a whole broad array of emotions. And I think that's pretty universal

00:09:49.820 the way that we express those emotions. That's what I think is up for interpretation and a little

00:09:56.300 bit subjective. So just let it be okay. You know, let it be okay. I actually talked about this on my

00:10:04.680 podcast with my son. So it's Brecken's podcast called man in the making. It's officially out right now.

00:10:09.660 And the episode that we're releasing this week, we actually went through and talked about the loss

00:10:15.760 of his dog. So please don't misunderstand me. I'm not comparing the loss of, of a human, your,

00:10:21.400 whoever that loved one is in your life to the loss of our dog. I don't want it to come across like that

00:10:26.120 at all. Cause it's not just illustrating a point here. You know, but we talked about dealing with

00:10:32.020 that loss and he got pretty emotional actually on the podcast itself. And, and it was okay.

00:10:38.580 You know, when we talked about crying and I'm like, is it okay to cry? He says, yeah, it's okay to cry.

00:10:42.420 I said, yeah, when it's appropriate. And this is an appropriate time. You know, if you're in the

00:10:46.460 middle of doing work and you've got things to get done, crying is not going to help or even,

00:10:51.540 even be any sort of productivity, but in the right moments at the right times,

00:10:56.680 in the right circumstances, a hundred percent it's appropriate. So yeah, I'm not going to tell

00:11:01.220 you what it's like to grieve for you, but just allow yourself to experience those emotions and

00:11:06.400 be there for other people. Don't avoid them. Yeah. Like embrace it.

00:11:12.140 Yeah. I mean, that's another problem that we see in self-help is especially in the man space,

00:11:16.400 whatever you want to call it is so many guys are like, Oh, don't, we're not going to be emotional.

00:11:19.820 We're going to be stoic guys. Like you have emotions, but here's the interesting thing about it.

00:11:26.680 The more that you try to repress and suppress and keep those things down and not show and,

00:11:31.780 and not use your emotions as any sort of factor in your life, the worse it actually gets.

00:11:38.300 Yeah. Cause now you've pressed them. It's going to show up. Not only is it going to show up anyways,

00:11:42.600 it's going to show up a hundred times worse than it would have. If you would have just dealt with it.

00:11:47.420 Hey, I'm sad. Hey, I'm glad I'm jealous. I'm mad. I'm angry. I'm happy. I'm whatever.

00:11:53.100 Express it in a, in a constructive, healthy way.

00:11:56.140 Because if you don't, it's going to be worse. And, and then you're going to be emotional anyways.

00:12:02.280 Like you're, you're never going to get out of being emotional. It's not that it's about the

00:12:07.520 way that we respond to emotion, not the fact that we're emotional creatures.

00:12:12.240 Yeah. Copy Eric Brandon Ballard with your retail management experience. You know,

00:12:18.040 that the day-to-day priorities can shift quickly. How would you adapt your planning to this style of

00:12:22.940 work? I've tried multiple times to make it fit, but I have trouble making this work. I'm hoping

00:12:27.940 you can shed a different perspective on how I might make, make this work.

00:12:32.280 I wish there was a more specific example on this because yeah, you're right.

00:12:36.340 I was kind of like a day. Yeah. So guys, if like, let, let this be a little bit of a reminder here.

00:12:42.520 If you have questions, like you don't need to give us your entire backstory. We don't need that

00:12:46.540 because we can't get to that, but give us the, the specific as much as you can so that I can give

00:12:51.320 you a more honest answer. I don't know if it'll be right, but it'll be honest.

00:12:55.040 Yeah. The most detail he gives really is just day-to-day priority shifting. So like just maybe

00:13:00.660 a scenario by which, you know, one day your priorities are one thing and the next day the

00:13:04.680 priorities are just drastically different. Yeah. Just embrace that mindset. You know, that,

00:13:09.060 that to me is just making a decision before you get into work and knowing that,

00:13:12.460 Hey, here's my goals. Here's what I want to accomplish. Here's the priorities as they stand

00:13:17.360 right now. And then just be open. That's the biggest thing. Cause what a lot of guys do is

00:13:22.400 they'll be so rigid with, with their, with their planning that the slightest little thing that

00:13:29.880 deviates from that plan, the plan shatters, you know, you could, you could look at, look at a

00:13:34.680 building, for example, have you ever been in a skyscraper? You're on the 60th floor and you could feel

00:13:41.340 the building moving a little bit. Have you experienced that? Yeah. Yeah. It's actually

00:13:45.400 supposed to do that. It's supposed to move a little bit because if it doesn't move and there's

00:13:52.160 some sort of force exerted against it, whether it's an earthquake or high wind storms, and it

00:13:56.960 doesn't flex and bow a little bit, it's going to fall down. It's going to shatter and crumble and

00:14:01.540 break the same thing with the flagpole. We have a, I think it's a 25 or 30 foot flagpole in our front

00:14:07.000 yard. It's made of fiberglass. I watch it. We get hot high winds right here. I watch it.

00:14:11.140 The thing flexes and bows, but it doesn't break. It just flexes and bows and moves with the wind.

00:14:17.780 It's supposed to be like that. Instinctively, you might say, well, it just needs to be rigid and

00:14:22.340 firm and not movable. No, if it did that, it would break against the forces that are going to work

00:14:27.600 against it on a daily basis. And the same is true about your schedule, whether it's retail

00:14:32.040 or keep what you're doing or what we're doing here with a podcast or being a father. You know,

00:14:37.660 one of my kids in the next hour could be having those trike races in the, in the barn and, you

00:14:42.400 know, run into a beam and have a concussion or fall off and break their arm, you know? And

00:14:47.020 like, what does that do to my schedule? Well, if it's so completely rigid that I can't function

00:14:52.040 outside of that, I'm doing the people I'm trying to lead a disservice. So I come in with my plans

00:14:57.400 and with my strategies, ready to go, ready to execute. And if everything works seamlessly that day,

00:15:02.780 and sometimes it does, perfect. I'm ready for it. If things don't, I'm also ready for that,

00:15:08.080 at least mentally. And one tactic that I employ is that, and I learned this in my financial planning

00:15:13.180 practice, what I was doing is I would, I would try to like schedule my meetings, like back to back to

00:15:19.580 back to back to back to back to back to be as efficient as possible. Doctors do this too. And if

00:15:25.780 you're a doctor and you're listening to this, that's why you're always late. Listen to me right now.

00:15:29.560 I'm not going to insult you. Listen to me, doctors, dentists, chiropractors, veterinarians,

00:15:37.640 et cetera. I get it. I understand what you're doing. I appreciate what you're doing. You're

00:15:42.280 trying to be efficient, but you're actually being an asshole because if the first person in the day 0.87

00:15:48.260 shows up five minutes late, or you go five minutes longer because you actually hopefully care about

00:15:52.760 that person, your patient, what does that do to the rest of the meetings? Now everybody else is late

00:15:57.120 because you couldn't manage your schedule correctly. Shame on you. Okay. So what I started

00:16:03.100 doing in my financial planning practice, if I knew my meetings would go for about an hour, let's say,

00:16:07.320 I would always schedule meetings on the, on the every 90, 90 minute blocks.

00:16:14.420 So I'd give myself a 30 minute buffer before and after for some of these contingencies, people show

00:16:20.380 up late, you know, it happens, right? Get a little long winded like I am right now. It happens.

00:16:24.600 And I know that. So I plan that into my schedule. So this is a three-step formula. Number one,

00:16:30.420 plan your day. Number two, build in buffers in case things change. Number three, do the review

00:16:37.080 after the day. So as the priorities changed throughout the day, you can shift and make a

00:16:41.780 game plan and a strategy for tomorrow. That's the three-part formula for dealing with any uncertainty

00:16:46.740 in life. Yeah. I like that. One thing I've learned Ryan is that buffer after meetings,

00:16:52.680 what I've done too, when I go back to back is 6 PM will come and I'll be like, shit, I discussed a

00:17:00.860 whole lot of things during some of those meetings. I didn't like have time to write down things because

00:17:06.280 I was jumping in between meetings and now I'm trying to remember what the action items were or the

00:17:13.560 follow-up items. So I never even gave myself time to like properly even do follow-up. And so it, it

00:17:20.680 hurts you not, not just from a, even if you're rigid and you're able to get on time to all those

00:17:25.920 meetings, you don't have the time to actually do proper follow-up after the meetings when you're

00:17:30.400 going back to back too. So that's, that's something I've been trying to give myself that time. So I

00:17:34.840 can do follow-up notes and, or, you know, take necessary notes around, you know, what needs to

00:17:40.100 be tackled or, you know what I mean? Whatever, right. Kind of brained up a little bit. So.

00:17:44.500 Well, you're, you've been doing it over the past two weeks. You've been sending me an email after

00:17:48.000 every time we talk and then you pull it up before we're talking, you're like, Hey, here's the three

00:17:51.840 things we talked about. Here's five things that came up that we haven't talked about. And so you might

00:17:57.080 think, well, that's going to take me longer because I have to do that note. Those

00:18:00.380 notes afterwards. And maybe it does take you longer, but it's more efficient.

00:18:05.620 Yeah. Cause I'll forget half of that. If I wait until the end of the day.

00:18:09.040 Yeah.

00:18:09.480 Right. And then we'll have to deal with it when it's a problem instead of dealing with it when

00:18:12.840 it's not a problem right now and get out ahead of it. So yeah. Yeah. Quicker doesn't mean more

00:18:18.480 efficient. It doesn't mean more effective. Sometimes it means actually the exact opposite of that.

00:18:23.380 And you end up undermining yourself because of it. So give yourself some margin because things will

00:18:28.360 happen. You know, they will.

00:18:30.380 All right. Alex Gutierrez, uh, dealing with prior emotional trauma, often known as PTSD and how to

00:18:37.900 heal and move forward. I did it and I can give you info if you want to talk about it sometime,

00:18:43.320 but wanted to know your thoughts.

00:18:46.120 I look, I, whatever I could give you would be really, really basic. Uh, I think if you're having

00:18:51.840 some sort of emotional trauma based on past experiences, whether that's PTSD or whatever,

00:18:58.100 um, you need to go visit somebody who's a professional and that's not me. Yeah. I can

00:19:04.060 give you my advice. I can give you my input. I think generally, I actually mentioned this to

00:19:09.260 somebody in the Facebook group today, cause they were saying that they were dealing with, uh,

00:19:12.980 Oh, what were they dealing with? They were, Oh, they were dealing with a stressful situation in

00:19:17.980 their business. And, and they said, well, I didn't, I didn't cause the problem, but you know, I'm,

00:19:23.200 I'm going to be suffering because of it. And this individual was the owner of the business from what

00:19:27.860 I gathered in the post. And I said, well, I mean, the first thing you need to realize is that you

00:19:33.300 actually did cause the problem. I mean, you hired the guy who had the issue. He's following your

00:19:40.400 system or alternatively, he's lacking the training needed to follow your system. So you, you did cause

00:19:47.220 it. And the fact that you're denying it is going to keep you from quote unquote, and this is the term

00:19:52.360 he used dealing with the stress of it or growing and, and not having this happen again. Yeah. Well,

00:19:59.620 but that's how you deal with the stress of it. So I think this is different between the sexes,

00:20:03.280 so women, I think generally, because they're more empathetic, uh, again, generally, uh, they're 1.00

00:20:08.240 more relational in nature that they can actually talk about an issue. And just the fact of talking

00:20:13.960 through it with another woman, because of the empathy and the relational nature of, of who they

00:20:18.840 are as women is actually going to help. But men generally, we tend to operate more in action

00:20:26.200 oriented things, meaning we're getting things done and we take pride, not necessarily in the

00:20:31.100 relational, but in the quantifiable, Hey, I fixed it. So for a man, how does a man deal 0.96

00:20:38.620 with stress? He a figures out what's stressing him out. Let's, let's take something as innocuous

00:20:45.280 as, um, as you know, uh, um, I don't want to call this guy out. So I'm trying to be a little

00:20:52.520 broad here, something not going correctly at work and then figuring out what the problem was.

00:20:58.380 And then you come up with a solution for it and then you do it and you implement it.

00:21:01.880 And then the stress is gone. Like you alleviate the stress.

00:21:05.820 Yeah. Like once you even have the plan, like once I, once I, once, at least for me, once I

00:21:12.080 confirm my understanding of the issue and I have a game plan now, don't get me wrong.

00:21:17.480 We need to act on the game plan, but the stress almost goes away. Once I have a plan,

00:21:21.380 like once I'm like, okay, this is what I'm going to do. I got a path moving forward.

00:21:25.100 Like at that point, I'm like, Oh, no longer stressed. I'm, I'm addressing the issue.

00:21:29.720 You know, I agree. You're moving in the right direction. I feel that way. Like right now I'm

00:21:33.500 in the process of writing a book and admittedly over the past couple of days, I've slacked off

00:21:37.900 a little bit because of Christmas. And that's my, that's on me. Like, I'm not blaming that on

00:21:42.860 anybody or any, that's on me. I decided not to, because of this, I would like to blame other

00:21:47.320 factors, but it's me. Okay. So I've been stressed out over the past couple of days. My wife and I

00:21:52.400 I've talked about, I'm like, I'm a little stressed because I haven't done this. And I got in the

00:21:55.640 office this morning. I'm like, okay, well, the way to alleviate your stress is just to catch up.

00:22:01.000 Yeah. Like that's it. So I got in this morning, sat down, did my planning. Cause I do planning

00:22:07.000 every single morning without fail, did my planning. And then I sat down and I cranked out about 1600

00:22:11.860 words. My goal is to write a thousand words per day. When I get off this call, I'm going to write

00:22:15.300 another five to 800 words today. So I'll be well over 2000. Yes. And guess what? I feel better.

00:22:23.240 I feel better. Okay. Now with that said, I don't know how relatable that is to some traumatic

00:22:30.980 experience. If you've been, for example, sexually abused as a child, I don't know that just identifying

00:22:37.200 the problem and coming up with a solution and then doing it is going to work through some of that

00:22:41.460 trauma. Like there's going to be some real difficult times. And that's why I say find a professional to

00:22:48.580 work with, to work you through these things. So you can get it out of your system. You can talk

00:22:54.060 about this in a positive, constructive way. And I think also a therapist is probably going to help

00:22:58.700 you come up with a game plan so that you can deal with it moving forward. When you're feeling

00:23:03.680 traumatized or you've run across something that triggers a response based on an experience you may

00:23:09.720 have had 20 years ago, that therapist is going to give you some tactics and strategies to be able to deal

00:23:15.220 with it. So I don't think the process is different, but the way that somebody might be able to go

00:23:19.740 with, go through it with you is. Yeah. Copy. Gary Hearn. What does the Bible say about being a man

00:23:28.800 versus what the modern world says? Well, look here, here, here's what I think is, is the biggest

00:23:34.820 lesson regarding not just masculinity, but just adulthood in general is to take responsibility

00:23:42.360 for your life. You know, we, we, we all have gifts and talents and abilities, and we all have

00:23:49.040 hands that were dealt, uh, some, some good cards, some not so good cards and, but it is what it is.

00:23:56.580 And it's on you now to take that hand that you're dealt and to maximize it, to take the gifts and

00:24:02.800 the talents and the abilities that you have and to leverage them for productive outcomes for yourself

00:24:07.720 and for the people that you have a responsibility for. And so I would say the biggest lesson of the

00:24:12.800 Bible and the gospel in general is personal responsibility. You're going to be called to

00:24:18.160 task on what you did in this life. You're going to be asked about what did you do to magnify your

00:24:23.400 gifts, talents, and abilities? How did you serve other people? How did you help other people learn

00:24:28.260 about being and return home? Those are the questions that we're going to be asked. Now you contrast that

00:24:33.680 with modern society and modern culture. And it's, Hey, you know, like if life's hard, we're going to

00:24:38.760 help you. And, Oh, you know, you made a mistake. And so let me, uh, slap your hand at worse and wrap my

00:24:44.580 arm around you and give you a hug and tell you why all of your poor performance and, uh, and behavior

00:24:49.600 is acceptable and okay, because I don't want you to feel bad. This is a very interesting thing that

00:24:54.800 people, they have this. And I think this is more modern Christianity than anything. They have this 0.59

00:24:59.520 really weird notion of Christ as being this, like really kind of just casual laid back, like peace and

00:25:08.700 love hippie guy. Like that's not who Christ was. He was passionate. He was convicted. He, he was

00:25:16.620 principled. He was truthful, even at the risk of not only making people feel bad, but at the risk of

00:25:24.600 his own life, this was a principled, convicted, independent man. This wasn't some peace and love

00:25:32.680 hippie who just wanted everybody to want to offend about themselves. No, this was somebody who said,

00:25:38.960 Hey, you're wrong. You're sinning. And here's what he didn't leave it there. He said, but here's what

00:25:43.640 you can do to fix it. Here's the path that you can walk to improve. Here's how you can make something

00:25:48.660 better of yourself. Here's how you can serve other people, but society, modern culture, I call it the

00:25:54.360 doctrine of popular culture doesn't teach that. It teaches there are no consequences for your

00:26:00.100 decisions. There's no consequence for your behavior. If something's wrong with your life,

00:26:04.620 it's not because of you. It's because somebody or something did something to you. You're the victim.

00:26:09.320 And that to me is antithetical to what the gospel is all about and what the Bible and God teaches.

00:26:16.120 Yeah. I like it. I, to add to it, I think the other thing, the big difference between the world

00:26:24.940 and the Bible I'd say is, is your value of where it sits. I think that's the other thing that just

00:26:32.180 really resonates for me is, is our divine nature is made present in the Bible and who you really are

00:26:39.960 and what your, what your potential is. And the world says, Oh no, you know, it's the, it's the,

00:26:47.360 it's the approval of man, Ryan, that makes you valuable. It's, it's, it's financial gain and it's,

00:26:54.760 and it's worldly things is, is what, what makes you valuable, not who you are as an individual,

00:27:00.820 not service of other individuals, not, you know, your divine nature as, as a son of God. Right.

00:27:07.340 So yeah, I would add, I think that's, that's at least what came to mind when I think about this

00:27:13.500 question. Well, I think you're right. And I think human value in general, the value of human life,

00:27:19.000 you know, the popular talk about abortion, you know, you're going to kill a baby in the womb 0.92

00:27:24.940 because you don't value human life. Oh, but Ryan, what about the mother? Her body, her choice.

00:27:32.680 So you're going to choose to kill a human because you're not comfortable with the decision that you

00:27:39.100 made. Oh, but then there's rape and incest. Yes, I know. But then does that make killing a baby

00:27:43.580 acceptable or justifiable? No, of course it doesn't. So there's the value of human life.

00:27:51.080 You know, there's another thing here too, that some, some people know if you've been following

00:27:54.460 for any amount of time, I would encourage you guys to go look at a document and just type this in

00:27:59.500 the family proclamation. And you can type that into your Google search bar and you're going to find

00:28:05.560 this. It's an LDS message from the first presidency. And I can't remember what year that came out,

00:28:12.020 but it's called the family proclamation. What's that? I said, we're old. It was a long time ago.

00:28:17.840 It was a long time ago. Family proclamation. And so if you don't know, our motto is protect,

00:28:23.720 provide, preside. Well, if you go read that document, those three words are in that document.

00:28:28.880 What are, what are meant to do? Work to protect, provide, and preside. And then it also talks about

00:28:35.040 the role of a good mother and a woman in society and in her family and culture in general.

00:28:40.460 And so it talks about nourishment and being nurturing and supportive. So go, go take a

00:28:46.280 look at that because that's shaped a lot of the way that I view masculinity in general, so much so that

00:28:52.580 that's our motto and that's where it's derived from. Yeah. Paul, so note thoughts on how to define

00:29:00.740 having, um, having enough and being humble without getting complacent. If I'm always getting after it,

00:29:08.460 it makes, uh, what I have feel like it's not enough. And I think this is, I like this question.

00:29:14.140 Asia and I were just talking about this literally like yesterday about, I don't know, like I, I,

00:29:20.720 I'm always like getting after it. And I think because of that, I, I really, I'm not grateful.

00:29:28.280 You know what I mean? And I'm, I'm focused. I don't know. I I'm curious what your thoughts are on this.

00:29:33.020 Yeah. This is a, this is a question that we get a lot, right? What's the balance between having

00:29:38.520 enough and then being driven and motivated and not complacent. Uh, I would tell you this generally,

00:29:44.460 just, just very broadly and generally that it's, it's the, the line is when you cross from healthy

00:29:51.380 unhealthy. So if you're so fixated on what you don't have and what you want, that you are willing

00:30:01.500 to hurt other people, that you're willing to railroad other people, that you're willing to

00:30:06.960 neglect other obligations that you've assigned yourself to like your family, for example,

00:30:12.680 that are higher priority. Yeah. I don't know if they're higher. I'm just saying you, like when you,

00:30:17.260 you agreed to marry a woman and have kids, you made an obligation, a responsibility, a contract, 0.55

00:30:23.240 even if it's just written, excuse me, uh, verbalized that you're, that she's a priority

00:30:29.380 and your family is a priority. And if you're out there chasing the dollar at the expense of that,

00:30:33.300 then that's a problem. That's an unhealthy way of, of ambition and drive and inspiration. Now

00:30:39.640 contrast that with what I try to be. I'm not always the greatest, the greatest at this,

00:30:45.240 but you know, I, I want to build this movement. I want to grow this organization. I want to write

00:30:49.840 a book. I want it to be a New York times bestseller. I want to make more money. Like these

00:30:53.960 are all things that I have desires to do, but I have to juxtapose that with my other priorities

00:30:59.360 and obligations like my family. And I have to keep that in check. And there has been times in my life

00:31:03.640 where I've throttled back opportunities. I've said no to things that could advance the mission or the

00:31:09.220 business, but wouldn't necessarily advance my ability to lead my wife and children. Well,

00:31:14.980 and so you have to figure out when it's healthy and unhealthy. And I would say motives are going

00:31:21.080 to help you determine that. So if, if you're, if your sole objective is to build wealth and have

00:31:27.700 cars and experiences and houses and verified on Twitter so that other people can look at you and

00:31:34.920 think how great you are, that's probably not a great motive. That's an unhealthy motive.

00:31:39.740 Yeah. Alternatively, if your motive is, I want to be here, I want to serve people.

00:31:47.660 I want to give them the tools they need to be able to be effective in their own lives.

00:31:51.820 I want to put some food on the table so that I can do that for my family and lead them effectively

00:31:56.280 and preside over them. I want to have also some money and opportunities so we can create some

00:32:01.300 experiences where they'll get to experience life and they'll get to learn lessons and have exposure

00:32:06.160 to people they wouldn't normally have exposure to. Those are all healthy motives. Those are good

00:32:11.000 things, but that takes an honest assessment because it's very easy to trigger ourselves and

00:32:17.120 say, no, no, I'm doing it. I'm doing it for my family. My intention is good. Yeah. Are you though?

00:32:22.000 Like we don't know. And you might not fully know, but you really have to spend some time thinking

00:32:26.760 about it. So I can't tell you it's the hard and fast rule. Like once you make seven figures,

00:32:30.660 then anything over that is just being greedy. I don't know. I don't necessarily, I think it could

00:32:35.760 be, but I don't think it necessarily inherently is. It's all about your motives and only you can

00:32:41.260 really look into your heart and determine if your motives are healthy or they're unhealthy.

00:32:47.360 How does that trigger for you, Ryan? Like, is there, is there something you're doing on a regular

00:32:52.060 basis or is there some type of trigger in your thought process where you're like, oh wait, I need to

00:32:57.360 evaluate my motives at this moment? Or is this part of just your end of day process? Like how are you

00:33:04.580 getting to that point where you're, where you're doing that evaluation, ensuring that your motives

00:33:08.900 are pure? Yeah, that's a really good question. So yeah, definitely. I build it into my after action

00:33:13.340 review process where I think about why I'm doing the things I'm doing, but it's become so ingrained

00:33:18.240 into the way I view my life that I can actually do it now in real time. So to give you an example,

00:33:23.800 uh, the other day, uh, my second son, he said, Hey dad, do you want to, what did he say?

00:33:31.380 He said, do you want to, I think he said, do you want to build Lego? He either said,

00:33:33.940 do you want to build Legos or do you want to wrestle? I can't remember. Cause those are

00:33:36.720 common phrases in our house. And, and so he said one of those things. And I said, yes,

00:33:42.660 I do want to do that. I have to do a couple of things. And then in a half an hour, I'm all yours.

00:33:48.360 And he's like, cool, that's fine. Those are boundaries. Those are healthy, appropriate boundaries.

00:33:51.960 So I came upstairs. I did a little work about a half an hour. And I was looking at the clock.

00:33:56.400 I'm like, Hey, it's my time to go down. I told him I would. So I ran downstairs. And as I was

00:34:00.540 going downstairs, I got a text from somebody and the text said, Hey, do you have a time for a call?

00:34:06.320 I need to talk with you. And so I was like, yeah. So I got downstairs and I said, Hey bud, um,

00:34:14.180 I got to get on a call because it's important. And, but as soon as I'm done, then I'll play with you.

00:34:22.420 Yeah. And he said something, he said, he said, is it the way, but it was the way he said it. He said,

00:34:27.340 is it important? That's the, that's what he said. He said, is it important? And I said, yeah,

00:34:32.900 it is important. And then I was like, but that doesn't mean that I can't take it in a half an

00:34:38.640 hour or an hour. And so I caught myself in real time. And I said, you know what, buddy? Yeah,

00:34:43.740 it is important, but it's not as important as you. So let's go play. And I put my phone away

00:34:48.220 because I was present enough to realize like, yeah, it doesn't make it less important,

00:34:55.480 but that was my priority. And that's what I said I was going to do. So there's also the concept of

00:35:01.680 just being a man of your word. Like I didn't give this person who messaged me my word that I would

00:35:07.000 jump on a call with him at 2 PM in the afternoon, but I did give my son my word that I would be there

00:35:13.080 and ready for him. And so I was, I was glad I made that decision because I think it really meant a lot

00:35:18.300 to him. So the, so the answer to your question, the after action review, and then just being present

00:35:22.420 in the moment to the cues, the subtle cues, and sometimes the not so subtle cues that are there

00:35:27.340 and present that'll help you make better decisions. Right. I think a common pitfall I fall into that I

00:35:33.160 think might be valuable to some guys is I think today's the exception. Like in that example,

00:35:39.480 I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll fall into the thought process of, Hey buddy, you know, I got to really

00:35:47.300 do this thing. Today's a crazy day, right? Like today is some kind of unique, stressful day,

00:35:53.820 but tomorrow, you know what I mean? I'll be on top of things better. And, and the reality of it is

00:36:00.560 like, tomorrow's never any different than today. That's worse, you know? And, and, and I have to

00:36:06.040 remind myself is like, you know, it's really saying it a different way. What you already said

00:36:10.640 is being present. That's really what that is, is like, Hey, this is my time to, to wrestle and play

00:36:16.980 with them. That's being present. There is not a tomorrow, you know? And, and, and I mean that in

00:36:23.480 the sense of that's not a guarantee, you know, all you have is, is the moment and, and honoring your

00:36:28.940 word to that point. So something I have to remind myself of. Me too. Well, you know, there's also a lot

00:36:35.140 of inefficiencies in our lives. Guys, here's a challenge for you today, or you can start it

00:36:41.940 today or tomorrow. Just started right now, actually just get a notepad out. And I always

00:36:47.420 have a notepad in front of me, get a notepad out and just write down everything that you do

00:36:52.160 and what time you start and what time you end. I'm talking about even going to the bathroom to take a

00:36:57.100 shit, like write it down. Cause that time in the bathroom is significantly longer than it needs to be.

00:37:03.180 I know that. Okay. You're on, you're on Facebook at 1130 and you thought you were on there for 10

00:37:09.320 minutes. You look at the clock. Oh, it's 1245, but you, you weren't on there for 15 minutes.

00:37:14.740 You were on there for an hour and 15 minutes. Yeah. Right. Okay. You punch that, that, that snooze

00:37:21.300 button on the alarm clock. You're supposed to get up at six, but you actually got up at six 30.

00:37:26.540 So there's 30 minutes. There's 30 minutes on the toilet. There's an hour on. So, so I just gave

00:37:31.480 you two hours every single day that you didn't have before. You're welcome. By the way,

00:37:36.280 every day, I guarantee you could all find an hour to two hours. And what could that hour to two hours

00:37:42.900 be doing? Well, a lot of things you could write more on the book that you're trying to write,

00:37:47.220 or you could go wrestle with your kid for a half an hour or play with them for an hour and then take

00:37:50.740 another hour and go have, you know, a quickie with your wife and be intimate with her or take her to 1.00

00:37:56.260 lunch. Like there's a lot of other things. What's that? Get a workout in. Get a workout.

00:38:01.380 Nah, you don't want that. There's a lot of guys. There's a lot of things is the point that we're

00:38:05.920 making on a daily basis. And you're letting it slip through your fingers. You don't even realize

00:38:10.140 that we actually do the same thing with money. So as a former financial advisor, this is something

00:38:14.080 that happens all the time is you think you have your money dialed in, but what you don't take into

00:38:18.980 consideration is that diet Coke or that coffee you go out and get in the morning. The fact that instead of

00:38:24.420 going home or having a packed lunch or doing some sort of meal prep is that you go out and you eat

00:38:29.200 every day and that costs you $27 instead of costing you three or $4. Like it should, we do the same

00:38:36.260 exact thing. So in this planner that I reference quite often, the first page right there says that

00:38:44.680 which is measured improves that which is measured improves. So if you want to deadlift more or you want

00:38:53.840 to be better at jujitsu, where you want to have sex more often, where you want to play with your

00:38:58.460 kids more frequently, or you want to be more productive at work, just measure it. That's the

00:39:03.520 starting point and everything will get better. Not by default, but certainly give you the opportunity

00:39:08.080 to be better. Yeah. By, by allowing you to see the improvement, but also by informing you

00:39:14.460 that which you are doing that you might be blindsided, right?

00:39:18.780 And that's what I tell people, you need to take the blindfold off.

00:39:23.800 Yeah. But, but I find it even like, I'll use lifting weights as an example. It's really valuable

00:39:29.460 to track. And the reason why is because I know like sometimes if I don't track what I'm doing,

00:39:35.620 I don't know if that's a new PR or not, but, and there's a little bit of like mind game that comes

00:39:41.960 into it too, right? You're like, all right, last time I did, I don't know, last time I did these curls,

00:39:47.400 I was at this weight and I, and I had 15 reps in, you know what, it's time to bump that up.

00:39:55.320 You know, so I, I'm in between 10 to 15, so I'm going up to 75, right? Or, or whatever. And so,

00:40:01.300 but you won't play those games in your head, or at least I won't play those games in my head,

00:40:06.580 unless I'm tracking and know where I was last time. Otherwise I'm probably doing the same weight

00:40:12.160 as I did last time. And I'm not pushing myself that extra little, you know, area or that 1% or

00:40:18.720 that 2% more, um, because I I'm unaware of what I did, you know, previously.

00:40:25.260 Yeah. That gamifying is powerful strategy. I actually did the same thing this morning. So

00:40:29.280 I told you, I really wanted to write a bunch of words. I got what I think like 1500 or so,

00:40:34.080 give or take somewhere in there. Um, maybe a little less, maybe like 1400. Anyways,

00:40:38.820 uh, I started at nine o'clock AM. I don't know. It was, was it nine? No, it was 10. I started at

00:40:45.920 10 and I thought to myself, no, it was nine. I'm sorry. I started at nine and then I'm like,

00:40:50.740 okay, I have an hour to do this. I have from nine to 10 o'clock at 10 o'clock. I got to send a few

00:40:55.160 emails. By the way, this is how I plan out my day guys. Yeah. I always give myself time constraints

00:41:00.500 always without fail. Cause you go in Superman mode, super dry, hyper mode, hyper focused. Yeah.

00:41:08.580 Yep. If you don't give yourself time constraints, you won't do it. You'll your,

00:41:12.540 your performance will match the time that you have allotted. So if you have eight hours,

00:41:16.400 it'll take you eight hours to do the thing. If you have three hours, it'll take you three hours

00:41:19.760 to do the thing. So I always give myself time constraints. So from nine to 10 o'clock, I was

00:41:23.720 going to write from 10 to 10 30. Uh, I was going to send emails and, and do some correspondence.

00:41:29.920 And then from 10 30 to 10 50, uh, I was going to do some, just make some payments,

00:41:36.740 just some financially related stuff, tax stuff, things like that. Notice that I gave myself the

00:41:40.980 least amount of time to do that. And then I knew, okay, I'm going to get ready for this call. You

00:41:45.820 and me at 10 50. So I'll give myself 10 minutes. And, and that's kind of how I had it scheduled.

00:41:51.480 Well, from nine to 10 o'clock, I knew exactly. I started at nine Oh two. I wrote 1400 words in an hour.

00:42:00.860 I've never done that before. Never. That's a lot of words to write in an hour. Uh, but it was that

00:42:08.760 way because I tracked it and I knew I wanted to hit it. And I gave myself the time constraint to do it.

00:42:14.940 And it isn't any surprise to me that I wrote so many words in that, in that timeframe.

00:42:21.420 And then I felt really good because I'm like, Oh, cool. My goal is to write 2000 words. All I have

00:42:25.520 to do is write another 600 words today. Now I get to my emails. Oh, all my emails are caught up.

00:42:31.760 I have like, I always try to keep my emails under 10 that are sitting in my inbox. So I have less

00:42:35.720 than 10 now. Good there. I did all my correspondence with the iron council messages and things like that.

00:42:40.900 So I messaged a few people, reached out to a couple of guys I knew or know were struggling right now,

00:42:45.620 sent them some messages. And then I went to the tax and financially related stuff. Got some of that.

00:42:50.400 Dude, I feel good. I feel super good today because I've been so productive on all this stuff because

00:42:56.640 I gamified it. Yeah, totally. Cal Newport's book's like a great one on this subject.

00:43:03.280 Yeah. Deep work. Yeah. Deep work. And, and I, I really love, I mean, even atomic habits. I mean,

00:43:09.000 I guess we could throw out tons of resources around this, but I even have a cube, Ryan. It's,

00:43:14.140 it's a square cube and it has 15, 30, 60, and five, I think numbers on the cube. And if I take

00:43:24.220 the cube and I plop it, so 10 or 15 is on top, then it's an alarm for 15 minutes. Oh, that's cool.

00:43:30.740 And it'll go off in 15. If I switch it over to 30, then it's a 30 minute. And, and it's the same

00:43:35.580 thing. Like I'm like, all right, email 30 minutes, you know, and you're trying to bank through it as

00:43:41.560 fast as possible before that stupid alarm goes off. I mean, it sounds cheesy, but man,

00:43:47.500 it's so valuable mostly because I don't, you know, and we all have had these experiences where

00:43:52.480 you had, I don't know, 15 minutes to do something that you were probably needed an hour to do.

00:43:59.780 And you somehow magically got it done in the time that you had is because there was no options and

00:44:07.940 you were hyper-focused and you're like, Holy crap, that was awesome. That's what we're talking

00:44:13.880 about. That's what we're being intentional about it. So that way you can get that level of productivity

00:44:19.360 without procrastinating, you know, and not giving yourself any time, you know, but you know what I,

00:44:25.840 actually, what I really think is, is that you actually didn't need an hour, but you were lying

00:44:30.920 to yourself. Well, you can do one of two things. I'll be a little bit more graceful here.

00:44:35.320 Gracious. I should say you either, either a lying to yourself or you're just ignorant about it.

00:44:40.480 You didn't really know. Yeah. Yeah, for sure. And, but either one, you have to measure it to

00:44:45.680 actually determine, Oh, that's not an hour task. That's actually a 20 minute task and then make

00:44:51.340 it 20 minutes. Yeah. Yeah, for sure. All right. Alan Placer. Uh, when do you know it's time to step

00:44:58.880 past your fears into a new venture, whether it be marriage, new career, and et cetera.

00:45:03.480 I think it always is. Like, if you feel like something's calling to you, then you have to

00:45:09.720 step past the fear. Now you don't have to take a headfirst dive into the deep end. That's,

00:45:15.180 that's not what I'm saying. How do you know it's calling for you? How do you know there's a calling?

00:45:19.980 It just is the term you used. It just is like, it's on your mind. Then it's calling to you.

00:45:25.860 Hmm. I think we have this preconceived notion that, and I've said this before that you're calling

00:45:32.440 or the thing that you're supposed to be doing, you know, supposed to be doing, you know, when the,

00:45:36.920 the, the clouds part and the angels make themselves appear and they start singing. Hallelujah.

00:45:42.320 No, like I've been waiting for that, but right. It's keep waiting. You know, I haven't seen that yet.

00:45:48.080 Yeah. So how do you know it's calling to you? If it sounds interesting, small example, my wife for

00:45:57.200 years has been saying, just kind of have jokingly kind of casually. I want to learn how to play the

00:46:04.620 banjo. And every time she says, I'm like, do it. Like, let's get a banjo. Let's do it. And she's

00:46:11.160 like, nah, I'm busy. And I got this. And yeah, of course, you know, like we're all busy. Of course I

00:46:16.320 get it. You are. And so for Christmas, I actually got her a banjo and that, that was the gift that

00:46:23.000 I gave to her for Christmas. And so I gave her this banjo and like, you should have seen the light

00:46:27.980 in her eyes and like her whole demeanor was just positive and uplifted for a banjo. I think it's

00:46:34.240 kind of silly. Most people listening to this probably think banjo, that's weird. That's kind

00:46:38.100 of silly. It doesn't matter. It's her thing. And she was so excited to get that. Now, is that like

00:46:44.220 her calling in life? Is she going to just be a professional banjo player? Yeah, probably not.

00:46:51.260 But it's calling to her. It doesn't mean that it's going to like move her into this thing that

00:46:55.880 she's supposed to do with the rest of her life, but there's something about it that she feels

00:46:59.600 compelled to do. And so she should do it now. And you should do it. That said, I don't need to burn

00:47:06.380 the bridges just because I'm taking a step into the unknown. And that's the differentiating factor.

00:47:11.240 That's where I said, you don't need to jump head first into the pool, into the shallow end of the

00:47:16.380 pool, hoping you could swim or that you'll survive. No, I didn't do that with a podcast.

00:47:22.160 When I started the podcast, it was like, oh, you should do a podcast. Okay. Sounds good. And so I

00:47:27.740 started a podcast and then, but I kept my financial planning practice. I didn't like give the middle

00:47:32.640 finger to all of my clients and say, you're all on your own suckers. I'm starting a podcast.

00:47:36.480 I was like, most of my clients didn't even know for months and months and months that I was doing

00:47:41.820 something over here on the side. Not because I was hiding it from them, just because it was something

00:47:46.060 I was doing on the side. I don't explain what I had for dinner to all my clients either.

00:47:50.280 Yeah.

00:47:51.000 But I was willing to do it and to try it. And then what ends up happening, one of two things,

00:47:55.860 either you really feel that it's the right direction for you. And then that voice, that calling that

00:48:03.220 Alan was talking about, it becomes a little bit more pronounced or it says, just go a little

00:48:08.080 further. You know, so, so I started a podcast in, I think it was like 2000, it was either 2013 or

00:48:17.680 2014. It was called Wealth Anatomy. And it was a podcast for financial, for medical professionals

00:48:23.760 to teach them about their money because I was a financial advisor at the time. I felt called and

00:48:28.820 compelled to do that. So I did it. And I realized after 20 episodes that I loved the medium of

00:48:33.200 podcasting, but I didn't want to have that same conversation. So then I felt called to pivot and

00:48:39.100 I created Order of Man. We talked about this in the first episode with my son and Man in the Making.

00:48:43.920 So I created the Order of Man podcast. And then gradually over time, it grew and grew and grew into

00:48:49.460 what it is today, six years later. Well, about a year ago, my wife, excuse me, my son and I

00:48:54.500 started feeling really called to explore doing a podcast with him for him to have his own podcast.

00:49:03.160 And so we just launched last week, Man in the Making. And it was interesting because I was pulling

00:49:07.260 up, it's called Podcast Connect. It's where all of your podcasts that you have show up on the

00:49:13.240 dashboard for iTunes. And my Wealth Anatomy thumbnail is still there, even though the podcast

00:49:19.400 is not live, you can't find it. But the Wealth Anatomy thumbnail is still there. And then the next one

00:49:23.980 is the Order of Man thumbnail. And the next one is the Man in the Making thumbnail.

00:49:27.820 Yeah. I saw that. You posted this on Instagram.

00:49:30.560 Yeah. Yeah.

00:49:31.740 And I thought, man, what a cool representation of the past seven plus years of work.

00:49:40.200 But I never would have been where I am here today if I didn't listen. Well, here's what I was doing.

00:49:47.740 My wife and I were talking about this in bed the other night because I pulled that picture up and I

00:49:51.640 showed it to her. And she's like, oh, that's awesome. We were talking about it in bed. And

00:49:54.340 I said, do you really know where this started? And she's like, I mean, I kind of. And I said,

00:49:59.040 it actually started before podcasting. So what I would do, the first step into audio information,

00:50:08.480 I guess you'd call it.

00:50:09.420 Was your CDs, right?

00:50:10.920 That's what it was. It was my CDs. I bought a Blue Yeti microphone. It was like 80 bucks or

00:50:16.420 something. And then I went to Office Max or Staples when we had CDs and I bought blank CDs.

00:50:23.900 And then I went to, I don't know, some local film studio or a picture studio. It reminded me of

00:50:29.860 Napoleon Dynamite with the weird backdrops. And I was like, is there some sort of vest I can wear?

00:50:36.440 So I go in and I get my picture taken. And then I took the picture and I bought at Staples or Office

00:50:46.420 Max, I bought blank CD covers. So do you remember? Or did you put labels on the CD?

00:50:53.600 The labels. Yeah. The blank. No, no, no. The blank labels and the circle label. Yep. And I printed it

00:50:59.040 off and then I would manually attach the labels to the CDs. And then I would start handing them out

00:51:05.300 to clients. And she's like, that's right. I remember you doing that. That's where this

00:51:09.220 started. Was it some sort of like grand premonition of what was to come? No, it was like, this would be

00:51:14.000 a cool way to meet new clients. And it worked. And I took another step and another step and another

00:51:19.580 step. So Alan, you're asking, and you've done so many great things because we have this relationship,

00:51:26.220 you and I, but yeah, you're asking, when do you know? You already know. If you're asking the

00:51:31.620 question, you already know. You take a step. Yeah. And for you young guys, CD is compact

00:51:38.960 disc. That's right. Google that to learn more. We were talking about, so we were talking about

00:51:43.780 that, but then we were talking about, I can't remember exact. So you had floppy discs and then

00:51:49.420 you had three and a quarter inch floppies and the five. No, the big one, the five inch. And then

00:51:54.840 the three and a half, weren't they called like Z disks or Z drives or something? Like

00:51:58.800 no, you're talking about zip drive. Yes. Yeah. Zip drives was next, right?

00:52:04.080 500 meg. Yeah. That's right. Oh man. Those were the days. We had those in college. All,

00:52:09.920 all your, all your data was on your zip drive. Yeah. I was asking, I was asking Trish, I said,

00:52:15.900 do you still have, or do they still have, um, uh, computer labs? You remember the computer lab?

00:52:21.200 I'm like, do they still have computer labs in college? And she's like, yeah, probably. I'm

00:52:25.900 like, why? She's like, well, just in case anybody needs to go get on the computer. I'm like, well,

00:52:30.040 every, every person in America has a computer. Like you, you actually have one in your pocket.

00:52:36.760 I actually wonder if they do. I was just, her and I were talking about that. I wasn't sure if

00:52:41.200 they did or not still. So, well, maybe you guys let Ryan know on, on Instagram, if you're in college

00:52:47.000 and there, if there's computer labs or not at Ryan. So that's right. Interesting. Yeah. Let me

00:52:52.300 know. Cause I'm curious. Yeah. All right. Rudy van der Viver showing up being there for our families

00:53:00.140 and loved ones. How can men do this more with more conviction and confidence? How do we do this

00:53:05.760 with more conviction and confidence? So when I hear that question showing up, being there for your

00:53:10.680 family, this is what I call the primary answers. Like, how do you be a better man? Show up for

00:53:17.800 your family. What the hell does that even mean? Yeah. I'm not knocking you by the way. Like I've

00:53:22.740 said the same thing, but well, maybe your answer is define what showing up looks like. That's the

00:53:28.620 point. Right. Cause if you hear all this stuff, like we hear all these little quips and we hear you

00:53:32.640 have these, you know, these quotes on Instagram and Twitter and it's like, show up, rise up,

00:53:37.120 work hard, be there for your family, love them unconditionally. It's not wrong, but it's also

00:53:45.040 not great advice because it isn't really that specific. I do that too, because I got 140

00:53:51.600 characters to make a point on Instagram. Right. So what I would suggest to you is what was the

00:53:57.140 phrase that he used? Be there, show up, showing up, be there for family and loved ones. What,

00:54:03.300 like, what does that mean? And the way also the way that I show up for my family is going to be

00:54:08.700 different than the way that you show up for your family. I've got four young kids. My wife is a

00:54:13.520 homemaker. She's at home. That's probably not your circumstance or maybe more. Maybe it is. I don't

00:54:17.920 know. It's probably different. So what I would say to you is not great advice. Like my kids are the

00:54:24.620 different than your kids. My wife has different goals than your wife has. We have a different dynamic in 1.00

00:54:29.200 our family than you do. Different love languages. Yeah. Different needs. Yeah. So let's break down

00:54:36.500 show up first. Let's talk about that. Show up. How? My son, my oldest son, he wants me to show up by

00:54:47.000 talking about hunting. Usually it's outdoor involved or lifting. He loves to lift. Like usually it's

00:54:54.480 revolving around that. My second son, he likes to build Legos. He's very analytical. His mind works

00:55:02.960 that way. So he likes to draw. He likes to code on the computer. He likes to do Legos. My daughter,

00:55:11.040 very empathetic, very nurturing, very sweet, really wants to make people feel good and to let them know

00:55:19.480 they're loved and they're important. This is how she manifests itself. And so I will need to sit down

00:55:24.980 with her. And typically it's her and I working on a craft for somebody else. Like, Hey, I want to make

00:55:30.600 mom this picture frame. Can you help me do that? Or dad, I've got my dollhouse, but my dolls need this

00:55:38.840 living room set up this particular way. And so we need to build, I need a little block of wood. So my

00:55:43.940 dolls have a table that they can have dinner on, right? Like, okay, then that's what we're going to do.

00:55:49.500 My youngest, his phrase is, dad, can we wrestle? And so he's all about physicality, physical

00:55:57.060 interaction. He's a hundred miles an hour. And so we go into the front room and I have mats. We

00:56:01.360 bought mats from Amazon, a couple hundred bucks at most, and they're foldable mats. So we fold them

00:56:06.400 out, fold them up, put them away every time and lay them out, turn the heater on in the front room.

00:56:10.480 Cause it's the front deck that's been covered in and we'll go out there and, you know, we'll roll

00:56:17.100 around for a half an hour. I'm a laugh and he'll kick me in the ribs and do kamikaze jumps off the

00:56:22.300 top rope. And like, that's his thing. And so showing up is different for all of them. My wife,

00:56:28.220 I just need to sit down and talk with her undivided attention, sit down, talk with her, 0.75

00:56:33.780 ask her about her day, ask her about what she has going on. Be interested in the things that she's

00:56:39.480 talking about, whether it's her bees and what she's going to do with them over the winter,

00:56:43.140 or what the kids are struggling with at work and just listen and be there and ask her questions.

00:56:48.880 But I know that because I've answered the question, what does showing up look like

00:56:52.800 for each of my family members individually? And when you know it to go to your question,

00:56:57.560 you're going to be more confident in showing up the way that matters and the way you think

00:57:03.140 matters doesn't the way they think matters is the most important thing.

00:57:06.520 Totally. One thing I fail to do, I like, I have to be very intentional about this is

00:57:13.860 how I'm showing up in those activities, right? Like, like when I, when I hear showing up conviction,

00:57:22.640 it's like this, uh, it's like this hardcore version of happiness, right? Intentionality,

00:57:32.000 clean, blah, blah. And guess what? It is not fun to be around.

00:57:36.520 I am a walking nightmare. Right. And so it is completely possible that I would do like

00:57:43.820 in using your examples, I'd be like, all right, let's wrestle and not be fun. Right. Or let's

00:57:51.740 get your dollhouse first. So I can get this done quick. Yeah. That's not enjoyable. And no one wants 0.55

00:57:58.140 to be around me. No one is inspired by me just because your kids like, let's be frank. Like I have,

00:58:04.260 and I have to remind myself of this. Like my kids, aren't going to go, Oh dad, you know,

00:58:07.820 you're so productive at work. I want to be like you, you know, it's like, Oh no, you're a happy

00:58:12.880 person and you love life and you get after it. Right. Now I want to be like you, you know? So I,

00:58:19.720 I, I don't know. I, I struggle. I struggle being pleasant. Right. When I focus on efficiency,

00:58:26.120 I get done. Yeah. Yeah. I do too. I'm the same. I think we're very similar in that personality.

00:58:30.680 Well, you know, you started this podcast off with something interesting. You're talking about those

00:58:34.380 little tricycle things that we have in the barn. And so my kids are like, dad, let's go out on

00:58:40.240 Christmas. Let's go out. Let's go out. I'm like, cool. Let's, you know, let's do it. And I went out

00:58:44.420 there. They're like, they wanted to show me. So I'm like, cool. I'll go out and watch it. And I watched

00:58:48.600 them and they're having fun. And they're like, dad, now it's your turn. I'm like, Oh,

00:58:51.800 I can't, how am I even going to get low enough to sit on that thing? Let alone fit in it. They're

00:58:57.880 like, do it, dad. You can do it. I'm like, all right. And like, I lowered slowly myself into it

00:59:02.940 about tore out my, my knees in the process and got in there. And I'm like, my son, my oldest,

00:59:08.960 who's almost as tall as me now. I'm like, how do you even ride this thing? He's like, you got to do

00:59:12.800 like this. He's like, lean back. And I'm like, okay. And you know, it wasn't like the thing I would

00:59:17.960 have picked to do, but it actually ended up being really fun because I got to see how excited they

00:59:22.980 were about it. And it was fun. Cause I was present. Like you're saying present there in the moment,

00:59:28.180 not like, okay, two races. And then I'm out of here. No, it's like, all right, let's do it. All

00:59:32.000 right. Now I want to race you. Okay. Now you two race. Oh, I beat you. Oh, you beat me, you know?

00:59:36.260 And you just be fully present with the moment. Yes. You're with them. Yeah. With them. Not just

00:59:41.240 physically, but like mentally, emotionally. Right. Yeah. Engage with them. Yeah. I had a similar

00:59:47.720 thing. Like I, uh, I was playing, there's like a new, I guess there's newer versions of Mario

00:59:54.080 brothers, you know, the typical Mario brothers, but you go from left to the screen to the right

00:59:57.800 and you hit little blocks, you know, the typical Mario that we were raised. So I guess there's

01:00:03.500 newer versions of it. And my kids were like, Hey, let's play this or no, they were like, Hey dad,

01:00:09.920 watch. And it was the same way. I don't want to watch. Yeah. And I didn't want to watch either.

01:00:15.780 I'm like, I don't want to do anything like play by yourselves. But I was like, you know

01:00:19.920 what? Give me a controller. Let me play a couple. Right. And, and the whole time we're like jumping

01:00:23.720 on each other and you know what I mean? It was, it was fun. Right. But I totally had to

01:00:28.280 do something that was a waste of my time. Well, then in hindsight really wasn't a waste of

01:00:33.180 time. The answer is no. Right. But that's my perception at the time was like, I have more

01:00:38.400 important things to do. And the reality of it is I didn't, that was the important thing

01:00:42.800 to do. Yeah. Well, here's one more example. My wife is really into beekeeping and I don't 0.93

01:00:48.300 like bees. I, not that I'm like totally afraid of them, but just stay the hell away from me

01:00:53.100 and they sting me every time I'm out there. And I'm like, I don't like bees. It is quite

01:00:57.280 fascinating though. That's extremely fascinating. Yeah. Like they're crazy little creatures.

01:01:03.300 And so my wife will ask me, you know, not so much anymore. Cause they're kind of done for

01:01:07.700 the winter. She's getting them already and whatnot. But she'll ask me to go out, you know,

01:01:12.260 in the spring or she'll go out and she doesn't have to ask me like, I'll, I'll say, Hey, you

01:01:16.020 know, can I come out with you? And she's kind of surprised and taken back at first. Cause she

01:01:19.520 knows it's not my favorite thing. She's like, yeah, of course. So we throw the bee suits

01:01:23.160 on and take the side-by-side out to the, to the bees. And I don't care about the bees. I really

01:01:28.340 don't, they don't, it doesn't, it doesn't matter. It's not anything I care about, but I love

01:01:32.720 watching her interact with it. I love how fascinated she is. I love the process. And

01:01:38.020 then when she tries to explain it to me and I don't get it, I'm like, that's cool. You

01:01:42.860 know, like to see how she lights up about it. And so the bees aren't the thing, the tricycle

01:01:47.500 isn't the thing, the Mario card or whatever, isn't the thing. The thing is them. It's be

01:01:52.840 fascinated with them. And I think you'll have an easier time with it. Yeah. Take a couple more

01:01:58.280 Kip. Yeah. I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm struggling with trying to fit in some, a couple, uh,

01:02:05.180 anyhow, I'll just go here. Tyler cross. What's your week look like? No, what's your week look

01:02:12.380 like? What's been the biggest life takeaway lately for you? What's wait, that was my, I'm

01:02:18.880 not sure why he's asking about the week. Yeah. I guess he's curious about what does your,

01:02:22.420 your week, my week, what's the biggest life takeaway as well? This, this week is all about the book.

01:02:27.740 Well, this, this month I've got to the end of the month. So that's what it's all about.

01:02:31.400 Yeah. Cause you've set a deadline, right? Where you wanted your draft done by a particular time.

01:02:36.160 And so you're, you're doubling down like, Hey, I got to wrap up. This is my commitment that I made.

01:02:41.520 Right. That's right. Uh, so that's what my week looks like. What, what is, what is my,

01:02:46.200 what biggest takeaway? What's been your biggest life takeaway lately? Oh, lately. Okay. Uh,

01:02:53.300 consistency in action that things become, they could become more efficient. They become more enjoyable

01:03:02.980 and you become significantly more proficient. So let me just give you a rough example.

01:03:08.240 If you're being consistent daily consistency. Got it. So if, if, um, you go to the gym

01:03:15.420 every Saturday for three hours, it's going to be significantly harder for you than if you go

01:03:24.500 to the gym for 45 minutes, every single day, I'm convinced that you'll have less results. I'm

01:03:31.660 convinced that it will be, you'll have to grind through it more. I'm convinced that you won't

01:03:38.340 enjoy it nearly as much, and you will not be as effective, effective and efficient as you could be.

01:03:44.020 If you would do it every day for a lesser amount of time, there's two places that shows up for me

01:03:49.180 in my life. Number one with writing. So, because I'm so heavily focused on this book right now,

01:03:54.680 and I told you this morning, I started and I wrote 1400 words in an hour. That was the fastest I've

01:04:00.800 ever done it ever. And the fast is not the metric by the way, but, but those were, that was very

01:04:06.680 efficient more so than ever because I write every single day. And I felt a little guilty because last

01:04:14.720 two days I missed, but up until that point, I was on like an 11 day streak of writing at least

01:04:19.000 12 to 1300 words per day. So let me clarify, Ryan, what you're saying is your ability to write

01:04:26.020 effectively has increased due to the fact that you're doing it daily. So it's becoming easier

01:04:32.580 and you're becoming more efficient with your writing because it's a daily. And it's also more

01:04:36.500 enjoyable because I used to have to grind. Now I wake up and I'm like, cool. I want to get my

01:04:40.900 thousand words in. And like, what am I going to talk about today? And I've learned little tricks

01:04:44.840 along the way. Like one little trick for writing for me is I'll write a portion, let's say a thousand

01:04:50.700 words, excuse me. And then before I stop, the last thing I do is give myself three or four prompts

01:04:57.880 to write on the next time I sit down. Got it. So you don't lose your thought process of what kind

01:05:03.800 of what's boiling in your head or what naturally at the moment seem like the next thing you should

01:05:09.960 write about. The next thing, the next evolution. Yeah. So, so writing is one area it's shown up a lot.

01:05:14.300 And then also jujitsu. Like I'm training four to five days per week. So it's more, I'm getting better

01:05:22.260 faster. I'll get better. If I just go twice a week or gradually, eventually I'll get better,

01:05:28.240 but I'm, I'm expediting my results. I'm getting faster, better because I can retain information

01:05:33.340 more effectively. I can practice it, that information more quickly. Like I'll go train

01:05:40.120 with Brian Littlefield, one-on-one coaching with Brian Littlefield once a week. And then that evening,

01:05:45.140 I have the opportunity to go train with the rest of the guys. And I can take what I learned that

01:05:50.960 morning and go apply it even more so that night. And so I'm expediting the result. And then it's,

01:05:57.760 my body doesn't hurt as bad because I'm moving all the time. I'm more efficient. I learn more.

01:06:05.700 It's just better, better. Yeah. So I'm trying to really figure out ways to implement things on a

01:06:11.520 daily basis, more so than I have in the past. Let me ask you this. It's related. I, I am starting to

01:06:19.100 come to the realization, at least for me, that when I, when I kind of come home and I'm grumpy or I'm

01:06:25.580 kind of having a bad day, it's usually because I didn't show up properly in that day. Yeah. That,

01:06:34.320 that I, that I didn't get the things done that I wanted to get done. I, in, in your example,

01:06:38.920 I didn't get my writing in. I didn't get my jujitsu in. I wasn't as productive as work as I would

01:06:45.000 like to be. And in most cases, when I walked through that door out in the evening, if it's a

01:06:50.240 bad day, it's usually because of a lack of me showing up and being, and, and getting done what

01:06:56.000 I know I should have gotten done earlier in the day. Would you say that's true for you? A hundred

01:07:00.240 percent true without exception. That is a hundred percent true. So get your shit done. Yeah. All right.

01:07:08.820 Troy Dodson last 21. Okay. I'm 21. And I'm about to purchase my first home with my new wife.

01:07:15.120 I feel I do pretty well in the protect. He's a BJJ blue belt, does some Muay Thai shooting guns and

01:07:22.180 et cetera. And I, and provide, I have a solid job that has an upward mobility, but I worry that I lack

01:07:28.500 in the preside department. His wife is so much more organized than I am. So she handles the budget and

01:07:35.440 also the majority of cleaning and cooking. I worry because I spend so much time protecting and

01:07:40.060 providing work 10 hours, come home, go train Jiu Jitsu, et cetera, that I'm not as present in the

01:07:46.120 home. And sometimes I feel I'm out of the loop with our day-to-day occurrences. Any tips on leading

01:07:52.860 better as we start our young family? I look forward to any input. Thank you guys. Yeah. So leaders don't

01:08:00.180 do everything guys. Like you need to understand that. I think a lot of people believe that,

01:08:06.980 Oh, if you're a leader, you have to do it all. No, you just need to ensure it all gets done.

01:08:11.780 So with cooking, I don't do any of the cooking. Like I do zero of the cooking at the house,

01:08:16.380 but I don't feel like I'm being an ineffective leader because of it, because it still gets done.

01:08:20.820 My wife does it. And so my job in that role is to ensure she has everything that she needs 0.70

01:08:25.800 in order to cook. She finds value in it. She likes doing it. And so my job is to make it better for

01:08:31.420 her. Same thing at work. If I have an employee, I have to give that employee all the tools and 1.00

01:08:37.140 resources so they can perform their functions properly and correctly and have an enjoyable

01:08:41.200 time doing it. I don't have to do it to lead. So when it comes to my wife, I provide the financial

01:08:47.860 resources in the house. You know, she's not working outside of the house. I do that. Okay. She does the

01:08:53.200 shopping, but I'll give input if she needs a new tool or utensil for the kitchen or, or she wants

01:09:00.680 ideas. I'll do that when we're sitting down at the table and eating. Although I didn't prepare the

01:09:05.720 food, I can certainly host a discussion with her and the kids and I can ask about their day and I

01:09:10.640 could lead and direct and moderate the conversation that we're having as the leader of our home. So

01:09:15.480 there's other ways to do it, but you don't have to do everything. You just need to ensure it gets

01:09:19.800 done. Like one of the things that my family and I do is, uh, is daily meetings. Well, we've gotten

01:09:24.420 a little behind on that over the past several weeks because it's Christmas time and everybody's

01:09:28.720 busy and excited. It's just life, right? Okay. But it's my, that's my, I'm the leader. I'm the

01:09:33.300 patriarch of the home. It's my responsibility. And so my wife and I talked about it the other day and I

01:09:38.080 said, Hey, we need to do this. And she says, yeah, but we're busy in this and this and this. And I said,

01:09:41.460 we're doing it. Like, I'm going to, I'm going to find a way that it's going to work with

01:09:46.400 everybody, but this is a non-negotiable. We're doing this. And so I fully anticipate that I'm

01:09:52.440 gonna have to spend a lot of time on the front end, getting everybody in the habit again, uh,

01:09:57.160 really doing most of the heavy lifting when it comes to what we're going to discuss and talk

01:10:01.260 about. But over time that people will pick up on that, the kids and wife will pick up on that.

01:10:06.680 And then it'll be, it'll be different, but yeah, don't, don't ever assume that you need to do

01:10:11.360 everything in some roles. You just need to make sure that you're greasing the groove. So everything

01:10:15.320 can get done. And a great leader acknowledges that other people are better at certain things than

01:10:20.500 they are too. Yeah. Like, why should I cook the food when I know that she, A, enjoys it. B is way

01:10:28.360 better at it. And C is much more efficient than I'd ever be able to. Why should I spend all that time

01:10:32.960 doing that? I find no value in it. I'm not good at it. And it would be a miserable experience for

01:10:38.520 everybody. So is it leadership that I do it? No way. It's leadership to say, Nope, that's not my

01:10:45.860 area. That's your, it's your job in this example. It's, it's you serve being a silent leader and

01:10:53.600 ensuring that she has what she needs to do what she wants to do and what she's efficient at doing.

01:10:59.280 And, and, and that she has what, you know, the support from you to accomplish that, said task.

01:11:05.060 Well, there's other thing with eating too, is like when she's preparing, sometimes she'll have

01:11:08.960 our daughter or one of our kids in there helping because they actually, they enjoy it. They get a

01:11:13.160 lot of value from it. So I like to see their little relationships like that, but other times she just

01:11:17.000 needs the kids out of the way. And so it's like, cool. I mean, the kids are wrestling. I mean,

01:11:21.780 the kids are doing Legos. I mean, the kids are out doing trike races in the barn. Like, cool.

01:11:26.160 That's, that's how I can help. That's how I can serve right now. So although you might not be doing

01:11:30.620 everything, what was the other thing? It was food cooking and what finances or what was it?

01:11:34.840 And budget. Yeah. Budget. He mentioned. Yeah. Okay. So budget. Okay. She's better at it than

01:11:39.660 you. So, okay. Like you don't need to let that like, like threaten your fragile ego. Like, okay.

01:11:45.560 She's so what? Awesome. Like, I think most of us would appreciate a woman who's pretty good with 0.82

01:11:50.500 money. You know, like, yeah, that's a good thing. That's a great thing. So get her the information

01:11:55.080 she needs. Talk with her about your spending and about what debts you have coming up and what

01:12:01.140 investments you're making and what you're trying to pay off and all this kind of stuff and then do

01:12:05.620 it. Yeah. So that you're supporting her in it and support her. Yeah. Well, and then, and then live

01:12:11.600 by your budget. If she says, Hey, we can't really spend that much. Like then don't spend that much

01:12:15.720 because this is her department. So honor her department and support her. And I use the word

01:12:21.640 edify, which means that you, you, you honor her, her calling or that you honor what she's doing by

01:12:27.700 listening and applying and being a team player. Yeah. And that's, I think just as much leadership

01:12:34.560 as anything else. Copy. All right. I mean, we talked about a couple of things, but, um,

01:12:41.760 what was the one question? Someone's going to let you know. Oh, if there's labs in university.

01:12:45.660 Yeah. So that's right. Yes. If you want to let Ryan or see him playing on a tricycle,

01:12:51.780 uh, follow him on Twitter and Instagram. I think Instagram took it down. Actually.

01:12:56.460 Oh, they did because we had, I think we had Cody jinx playing in the background and they said,

01:13:02.000 well, you know, that music's copyrighted. I'm like, Cody jinx would like me playing his music.

01:13:06.720 Why don't you ask Cody if he wants me to take it down? Yeah. See, I was assuming it was violent or

01:13:11.640 something. Yeah. Oh gosh. Did you know one time I got, had a video removed on Instagram because

01:13:16.600 I was wrestling with my son, my youngest son on the bed and I suplexed him. Yeah. I did a, uh,

01:13:23.360 I did a belly to back suplex on him on the bed into pillows. Heaven forbid a dad play with his,

01:13:29.780 he was, I think three or four at the time. And it got taken down. I can't remember the term they use,

01:13:35.260 but I don't know, violence or something, but somebody probably reported that morons.

01:13:41.120 Yeah. Oh my gosh. It is crazy. So the iron councils closed. However,

01:13:45.880 I wanted to kind of give these some guys, some resources, you know, for some of you guys that

01:13:51.440 are like, Hey, I'm going to get on the path for the new year. Um, would you recommend at least

01:13:55.960 battle ready and go to the iron councils website and at least subscribe for the next time that we

01:14:01.720 have that open? Uh, look, battle ready is a perfect program right now. Cause it's a 30 day program

01:14:06.560 designed to get you up and running for your next quarterly plan, which should start January 1st.

01:14:11.780 So we're the end of December right now. If you go to order of man.com slash battle ready,

01:14:17.400 you're going to be immediately enrolled in 17 emails. You're going to get over 30 days that

01:14:22.620 are going to walk you through everything that you need to know about creating your own battle plan.

01:14:27.280 So you can crush it in 2022. So that's a great resource. Um, also we talk about in that battle

01:14:33.360 ready program, the iron council, which like you said, it's not open right now, but if you want to be

01:14:37.600 put on the waiting list, when we do open in the early spring, then go to, you can do it through

01:14:42.320 the battle ready program, or you can go to order of man.com slash iron council, drop your email in

01:14:49.260 there. And as soon as it comes available, we'll let you know. And a third resource for you guys

01:14:54.640 looking for a mobile app to assist you in the process of working on your battle plans, go to

01:15:01.060 12weekbattleplanner.com. That's the, the numbers one, two week battleplanner.com to download and

01:15:07.700 purchase that app. We've got a lot going on guys. You got your marching orders, get on the path,

01:15:12.680 um, finish out the year strong, you know, just don't, don't stop right now. Um, I'm a little

01:15:19.120 backwards. I said, you have 30 days. You really only have like four or five days until the new year,

01:15:23.200 but, uh, and in the Utah meetup, I was telling guys like, this is a perfect time to work on your plan

01:15:29.240 this week and work out some kinks. So don't wait until the new year, like do it today.

01:15:35.000 That's right. All right, guys. Appreciate you. We will see you on Friday until then go out there,

01:15:39.480 take action and become a man. You are meant to be. Thank you for listening to the order of man

01:15:44.040 podcast. You're ready to take charge of your life and be more of the man you were meant to be.

01:15:48.780 We invite you to join the order at order of man.com.

01:15:59.240 We'll see you on Friday.

Order of Man - December 29, 2021

Healthy vs. Unhealthy Ambition, The World vs. The Gospel, and Being an Engaged Man ｜ ASK ME ANYTHING

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