Order of Man - Honoring the Fallen, the Dark Side of Self-Help, and Combating Negativity ｜ ASK ME ANYTHING

00:00:00.000 You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest. Embrace your fears and boldly chart your own path.

00:00:06.020 When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time. Every time.

00:00:10.480 You are not easily deterred or defeated. Rugged. Resilient. Strong.

00:00:15.500 This is your life. This is who you are. This is who you will become.

00:00:19.760 At the end of the day, and after all is said and done, you can call yourself a man.

00:00:25.040 Kip, what's going on, man? What do you think of the new temporary studio?

00:00:29.920 It's good. It'll work. What's the year?

00:00:32.080 It's a white room. It's got some cool flags behind us.

00:00:35.760 These chairs are a little high, though.

00:00:37.140 It is a little high. Maybe a little strange lake.

00:00:39.600 Did you know this is the first one that we're doing? No, no, no. I guess we did the video in Maine, too.

00:00:44.740 Well, we've done those Skype videos.

00:00:46.580 Yeah, but those don't count.

00:00:47.520 Oh, okay.

00:00:48.480 I mean, you were on your end in Salt Lake or whatever.

00:00:51.700 A little split-screen action.

00:00:53.260 Yeah, but I do like doing them face-to-face, and it seems like this is becoming more common.

00:00:59.660 Yeah.

00:00:59.900 When are you going to move to Maine?

00:01:01.040 I don't know.

00:01:01.920 We're going to get you out of here before long.

00:01:03.640 Once the cost of travel becomes too high, we're like, all right, the justifies just moving.

00:01:07.820 That's right.

00:01:08.380 Well, guys, like we had just mentioned, we're here in Maine again for, is this the second week in a row, or we had a one-week break, right?

00:01:17.820 There was a one-week break.

00:01:19.020 One-week break.

00:01:19.520 We're here at Origins Immersion Camp.

00:01:22.720 Of course, Pete Roberts, Brian Littlefield, the whole Origin team are out.

00:01:27.300 A good percentage of the Echelon front team are here.

00:01:30.460 Have you rolled with any of those guys yet?

00:01:31.900 Not yet.

00:01:33.580 I'm going to roll with JP this afternoon, I think.

00:01:36.480 I'd roll with JP.

00:01:37.220 I think I can take him.

00:01:38.900 I don't know, man.

00:01:39.660 Everyone keeps saying, hey, you need to roll with Echel.

00:01:41.900 He's a brown belt.

00:01:43.240 Yeah, but Echel is a beast.

00:01:43.680 But I think Echel's injured, too.

00:01:45.660 And I think he's injured.

00:01:46.440 I haven't seen him with a Guillon or anything, so I'm assuming he's injured.

00:01:49.900 Oh, I saw him this afternoon.

00:01:50.500 Really? 0.96

00:01:50.960 He's a beast, too. 0.87

00:01:52.180 Yeah. 1.00

00:01:52.420 That guy is insane. 0.97

00:01:54.660 Yeah. 0.70

00:01:54.880 I can turtle up really well and just kind of protect myself.

00:01:57.760 But what about Jocko?

00:01:58.540 Are you going to roll with Jocko?

00:01:59.480 I would in a second.

00:02:00.660 Yeah?

00:02:00.980 Yeah.

00:02:01.200 I think it'd be fun.

00:02:01.800 You've got to take advantage of that out here.

00:02:02.760 Yeah.

00:02:02.980 I think we're actually going to shoot bows a little bit later.

00:02:05.200 It's just one of those things, right?

00:02:06.540 You don't want to be the guy that's like this fanboy that's like, hey, can I roll with you?

00:02:10.760 You know what I mean?

00:02:11.200 I don't want to be annoying.

00:02:12.640 Yeah.

00:02:12.820 You know what I mean?

00:02:13.360 Well, I mean, you naturally go that way anyway, so you're naturally annoying anyways.

00:02:17.860 Yeah.

00:02:18.240 So I don't want to be extra annoying.

00:02:19.640 Extra annoying.

00:02:20.000 Yeah.

00:02:20.280 Yeah.

00:02:20.440 I bet he gets that a lot.

00:02:23.500 Totally.

00:02:23.900 Do you think guys like that get like, I don't know what the term would be, but like headhunters?

00:02:28.240 Not headhunters, but like-

00:02:29.140 Like a stalker kind of?

00:02:30.340 No.

00:02:30.800 What do you mean? 0.98

00:02:31.480 Like, I'm going to prove myself by beating you. 0.97

00:02:34.740 Totally. 0.64

00:02:35.460 Yeah.

00:02:35.740 Totally.

00:02:36.660 Yeah.

00:02:36.940 Because I think guys do it by default, right?

00:02:39.320 It's like, oh, it's an upper, I'm rolling with an upper belt.

00:02:41.400 Like, this is where I'm going to measure myself.

00:02:43.240 Right.

00:02:43.720 So for sure, these guys-

00:02:45.200 And I don't think there's anything wrong inherently with like figuring out how you stack up.

00:02:48.860 But like even you and I rolled yesterday a little bit and it felt good.

00:02:53.360 I mean, you still throttled me, but it felt better than last year.

00:02:57.020 Yeah.

00:02:57.820 Yeah.

00:02:58.020 So it's not like I'm defining myself or identifying with me being better than you or not better,

00:03:05.240 better than I was last year, but it also is a market improvement, right?

00:03:08.980 Yeah.

00:03:09.180 I think it's when that's coupled with maybe almost like from the perspective of like being

00:03:17.680 too eager or too aggressive, that's when it would get old, right?

00:03:21.760 Yeah.

00:03:21.940 Like I could imagine that.

00:03:23.080 Jocko's like, this guy's just not training to see how he trains, but he's training to

00:03:26.440 like to prove something.

00:03:27.680 That's like a different mentality.

00:03:29.060 Yeah.

00:03:29.240 I think if you're trying to prove something, that's different because you're going to roll

00:03:33.100 more aggressive.

00:03:34.000 There's going to be some probably anger flowing through your veins and then that's probably 0.94

00:03:39.020 when Jocko just smashes you.

00:03:40.140 And then he just dominates you.

00:03:41.360 Yeah. 1.00

00:03:41.400 And just kills you. 0.99

00:03:42.240 Yeah. 0.99

00:03:42.760 Yeah.

00:03:43.700 Puts you in the place.

00:03:44.740 Yeah.

00:03:45.300 Well, that's what we're here doing.

00:03:46.500 You know, we're here checking it out.

00:03:47.920 We came last year, of course, and again, for the second year in a row.

00:03:50.780 This is your second year, right?

00:03:51.720 Yeah.

00:03:51.940 You haven't come before?

00:03:52.780 Nope.

00:03:53.080 This at all?

00:03:53.640 Nope.

00:03:54.460 So yeah, we're here with Origin, the Echelon front team, another, I don't know.

00:03:58.080 I think there's like 200 guys in session A or 300 guys in session A and another 300

00:04:01.800 guys in session B.

00:04:02.960 So there's like 600 people rolling through here.

00:04:04.880 Yeah.

00:04:05.140 And I think there's more upper belts this year than it seemed last year.

00:04:09.740 Is that right?

00:04:10.120 Yeah.

00:04:10.280 That mat with all the black and browns is almost too small.

00:04:15.120 Really?

00:04:15.580 Yeah.

00:04:15.820 Once we start going over instruction, like there's barely space on there.

00:04:18.780 So that's a good sign.

00:04:19.820 They put us lowly white belts in another building and it's super hot in there.

00:04:23.020 And close the doors.

00:04:24.140 Close the doors.

00:04:24.780 We're like, there you go.

00:04:26.700 Peons.

00:04:28.080 You got to earn your way out of here.

00:04:29.040 Yeah.

00:04:29.340 Yeah.

00:04:29.740 Totally.

00:04:29.880 So next year I'm going to be out of there.

00:04:31.360 You're like, I'm out of here.

00:04:32.440 No, no, no.

00:04:32.820 You got to prove yourself first.

00:04:34.060 I'm going to be with the blue belts next year.

00:04:36.080 Love it.

00:04:36.460 It's my commitment right now.

00:04:37.580 Yeah.

00:04:38.440 All right.

00:04:38.920 Should we get into it enough wasted time?

00:04:40.540 For sure.

00:04:41.000 I mean, most of the guys are listening.

00:04:42.660 They've listened to us before.

00:04:43.840 They know what we're yapping about.

00:04:44.760 But if you're listening for the very first time, this isn't asking me anything.

00:04:47.680 So I think we got a lot of questions from the Facebook group today.

00:04:50.020 Yep.

00:04:50.360 And a few from Iron Council.

00:04:51.660 From Iron Council.

00:04:52.360 Yep.

00:04:52.500 So what we'll do, guys, is we'll take, I don't know, another 45, 50 minutes or so and

00:04:57.580 field some of these questions.

00:04:58.580 Do our best we can to answer those questions.

00:05:00.660 And if we can't, we'll make something up.

00:05:03.340 Yeah.

00:05:03.620 We're good at that.

00:05:05.080 Most of what we do seems like we're making stuff up.

00:05:06.960 But regardless of anything we say is correct and accurate.

00:05:09.080 That's right.

00:05:09.520 So don't question it.

00:05:10.080 There you go. 1.00

00:05:11.200 Don't bitch. 1.00

00:05:12.440 All right. 0.99

00:05:13.020 What's number one?

00:05:13.600 You're going to work on your swearing.

00:05:14.620 Oh, that's true.

00:05:15.480 Yeah.

00:05:16.320 One day you and I are going to be able to mark this podcast, this Ask Me Anything, without

00:05:20.160 having to mark it as explicit.

00:05:21.300 Explicit.

00:05:21.880 Yeah.

00:05:22.280 If you would just clean it up a little bit, we'd be able to do that and the kids could start

00:05:24.920 listening.

00:05:25.440 Well, and I love the fact that one of the guys-

00:05:27.320 Someone called you out.

00:05:27.620 Yeah.

00:05:27.820 Someone called us out and he's like-

00:05:29.200 No, not us.

00:05:30.020 You.

00:05:30.400 Yeah.

00:05:30.600 Okay.

00:05:30.780 He called me out, but it was funny because he was like, yeah, when you guys can stop

00:05:35.280 swearing?

00:05:36.120 I was like, geez, okay.

00:05:37.520 Pretty funny.

00:05:38.160 Yeah.

00:05:38.280 That's the problem.

00:05:39.180 All right.

00:05:40.200 Yeah.

00:05:40.580 First question is by Mr. Bubba Downs.

00:05:43.120 And I think Bubba's asking this really from a personal perspective, because as you know,

00:05:46.760 Bubba's been training in jujitsu.

00:05:48.960 He's getting into it, right?

00:05:50.040 Yeah.

00:05:50.180 And so he's saying, what are some good moves when rolling with a guy that is roughly 80 to

00:05:54.780 a hundred pounds over you?

00:05:57.360 So a bigger guy.

00:05:58.360 So he's, I think he's looking for some good moves when rolling with big guys.

00:06:02.660 And maybe, maybe the way we answer this question is really from, I don't know, maybe

00:06:06.740 what are go-to submissions or positions maybe that-

00:06:10.960 Well, I can tell you like, like my perspective is with a big guy like that, especially yours,

00:06:15.940 your answer is going to be different than mine because of where we are in our journey.

00:06:19.100 Yeah.

00:06:19.700 For me, it would just be to stay live and manage distance.

00:06:23.280 So I don't have to feel that full weight.

00:06:25.780 Yeah.

00:06:26.240 I mean, that's really what it would be for me.

00:06:27.800 He's like, don't be on the bottom, survive, try to get out from being on the bottom, try

00:06:32.960 to manage the distance so you can leverage a little better working limbs and things like

00:06:37.500 that rather than body.

00:06:38.580 Cause a guy that's 80 to a hundred pounds heavier than me is just going to smash, especially

00:06:42.640 if he's just getting into jujitsu and he knows he's big and he knows he's got some, some weight

00:06:48.980 behind him.

00:06:49.680 Yeah.

00:06:49.920 He's just going to Hulk smash the whole time.

00:06:51.800 Like he's not going to use technique.

00:06:53.220 Yeah.

00:06:53.460 So for me, it would be survival again, because I'm just getting started on the journey.

00:06:58.200 It would be survival.

00:06:59.320 And then it would be managing distance and positions and trying to keep myself from being

00:07:03.440 on the bottom.

00:07:04.160 Yeah.

00:07:04.460 I totally agree.

00:07:05.500 I think there's an element of survival with any guy that's substantially bigger than you.

00:07:09.520 Yeah.

00:07:09.740 And then your attacks, I think will vary as well.

00:07:12.060 Like if I think specifically of, of a really, it wasn't like a big, big guy, but really strong

00:07:17.080 guy.

00:07:17.480 Yeah.

00:07:18.720 Kent, I used to train, he now moved to Florida, but he used to train with us at Unified.

00:07:23.180 And what I learned with him is I'd stop attacking limbs.

00:07:26.880 Actually, it was back and choke only.

00:07:30.480 Oh yeah.

00:07:31.480 Arms wasn't.

00:07:32.300 Cause he's just so strong.

00:07:33.180 He's just so strong.

00:07:34.020 Yeah.

00:07:34.240 Like I wasn't getting enough leverage or he'd use that to stack me and then come up on top.

00:07:38.800 And so I think it's staying off the bottom, try to play your top game as much as possible.

00:07:44.100 So that way it's not on you.

00:07:45.220 And then I'd say chokes, just go for the blood chokes, not the limbs. 1.00

00:07:50.140 Yeah.

00:07:50.420 Yeah.

00:07:50.720 That makes sense.

00:07:51.260 Cause those guys are, they're going to be really strong.

00:07:53.380 So it's going to be harder to get those submissions.

00:07:55.180 I wouldn't say impossible though.

00:07:56.660 Cause let's clarify, like that's the objective of jujitsu is that a smaller guy should be able

00:08:01.020 to catch.

00:08:01.520 Right.

00:08:01.940 But it is harder when they're really strong.

00:08:04.000 Especially if like Bubba, he's just getting started to like I am.

00:08:06.400 Uh, I would also say that there's a difference between body types. 1.00

00:08:11.980 Of course, for guys that are 80 to a hundred pounds heavier than you, there's a guy who

00:08:15.800 may be fat.

00:08:17.380 Yeah.

00:08:18.040 And he's going to tire.

00:08:19.300 Yeah.

00:08:19.860 You know, we talked about this yesterday, right?

00:08:21.400 It's like whether the storm is your objective.

00:08:23.220 All you have to do is wait 60 seconds and then he's just going to lay on you and you can,

00:08:26.700 you can sweep them or slide out from underneath shrimp and get away from them.

00:08:29.800 And he's done.

00:08:30.640 He's exhausted.

00:08:31.300 And then there's like these big body barrel chested wrestler types who they're just strong.

00:08:38.540 They're not going to gas and they just, they know how to use their weight effectively.

00:08:41.920 They're muscle effectively.

00:08:43.480 And I think that's probably more of what we're talking about.

00:08:45.980 Totally.

00:08:46.380 That guy.

00:08:46.920 Totally.

00:08:47.380 And, and, and I think this is insightful to, to add is I think the unique responses that

00:08:54.040 we do to bigger guys, uh, and stronger guys are probably the same techniques that transcend

00:08:59.960 to a street fight more than anything else, because, uh, giving a perfect example, I think

00:09:05.020 Hager Gracie used to say this, that like during comps, he would almost only go for chokes. 0.99

00:09:10.200 And the reason why is because you can't, you can't brute force out of a choke.

00:09:15.580 You'll, you'll pass out.

00:09:16.660 Right.

00:09:16.960 And if you pass out, you lose.

00:09:18.500 Right.

00:09:18.760 So, but on an arm, for instance, if you're in finals in worlds and you're up on points

00:09:24.940 and the guy has you in an arm bar, what are you going to do?

00:09:26.700 Most of those guys aren't tapping.

00:09:28.340 Wait it out.

00:09:29.140 They're letting their arm break.

00:09:30.500 Right.

00:09:31.280 Really?

00:09:31.820 Yeah.

00:09:32.160 Oh yeah.

00:09:32.900 Oh yeah.

00:09:33.560 They don't care.

00:09:35.060 Right.

00:09:35.440 Cause they're, they're up in points.

00:09:36.800 So they're going to win.

00:09:37.600 Yeah.

00:09:38.040 And so some of those guys, there is no.

00:09:40.760 In world, if let's say in that scenario, if you and I are rolling and you break my arm,

00:09:47.100 are they going to call the match?

00:09:49.200 No.

00:09:49.720 I have to tap for him to call it.

00:09:51.320 Yeah.

00:09:51.820 So I could just roll with a broken arm.

00:09:53.460 Totally.

00:09:53.860 Totally.

00:09:54.420 Holy cow. 0.89

00:09:54.700 Damon at Unified, he's caught some, uh, the, uh, what, what are their names?

00:09:59.300 The shoot. 0.97

00:10:00.460 I'm going to slaughter names. 0.98

00:10:01.180 I'm not going to even attempt, but, um, he's caught guys with a heel hook here.

00:10:05.320 The knee pop, pop, pop, pop guy just keeps playing because he's up on points.

00:10:10.700 So these guys are crazy.

00:10:11.860 It's high stakes for them, right?

00:10:13.460 This is their careers.

00:10:14.400 And so they're kind of like, Hey, if I'm in a, in a finals, I'm not going to lose by

00:10:19.460 a broken limb.

00:10:20.620 But if that was a choke there, there's nothing you can do.

00:10:23.260 Yeah.

00:10:23.420 Passed out.

00:10:23.920 If they're passed out, that's a tap.

00:10:25.140 You're done.

00:10:25.700 Yeah, exactly.

00:10:26.540 So, and I think those same process applies to street fights is like, what are you going

00:10:30.180 to do after you break his arm?

00:10:31.520 Right. 0.99

00:10:31.860 He's still going to come up, bang you with the other fist or you, he's going to kick you. 0.92

00:10:35.760 Like there's other things that happen.

00:10:37.240 And so I think that same philosophy to big guys managing distance.

00:10:40.860 So they're not smashing you going for blood chokes, primarily over limbs.

00:10:44.940 Those are all applicable.

00:10:46.200 I think to a street fight more so than anything else as well.

00:10:49.720 So I think that same transcends.

00:10:51.540 That's crazy.

00:10:51.980 I had no idea about the broken limb thing.

00:10:53.820 Oh, those guys.

00:10:55.360 I've seen tons.

00:10:56.840 Kimoras. 0.75

00:10:57.300 Do you see the arm?

00:10:58.140 Like, no, you know, and they just keep training.

00:11:00.760 Yeah.

00:11:01.340 Oh, that's insane.

00:11:02.280 I know.

00:11:02.760 Especially, well, I'm too, I mean, being out of jujitsu for a year because I didn't

00:11:08.280 want to lose a match.

00:11:08.960 I'm like, screw that.

00:11:10.020 Well, not to mention you have other things too.

00:11:13.000 Yeah.

00:11:13.560 Career, another life.

00:11:14.840 Yeah.

00:11:14.960 Family.

00:11:15.360 Yeah.

00:11:15.780 But you think about some of these career guys, these jujitsu practitioners that this

00:11:20.140 is their life.

00:11:20.700 Like they've been training for worlds for a year, all year.

00:11:24.740 Right.

00:11:25.000 It's coming down to this.

00:11:26.740 So to them, it's like, Hey, it's worth not tapping.

00:11:30.180 Right.

00:11:30.720 All right.

00:11:31.080 So next question.

00:11:31.900 Gnarly.

00:11:32.740 All right.

00:11:33.080 Brian Grogan.

00:11:34.080 I've spent most of my life in a network of men and teams of men.

00:11:37.840 I've had to bear witness to many of their deaths as well.

00:11:41.300 I've had many friends die.

00:11:43.120 How will we honor those brothers in the iron council when that eventually comes?

00:11:47.560 That's a good question.

00:11:48.360 That's a really good question.

00:11:49.260 I know that he's, he's paid a lot.

00:11:51.700 You know, he's, he's served our country, uh, as a former Navy seal and has done a lot.

00:11:57.860 And of course the sacrifice that he's made, that his family's made, and then his

00:12:00.740 brothers that, that he's, he's seen go, I don't, I don't know.

00:12:04.620 I almost don't feel justified in like comparing the two, but I will, because that's the question

00:12:11.700 he's asking.

00:12:12.200 But I want to put that out there is that I think that's, I don't want to say a different

00:12:15.640 level.

00:12:15.980 I just think it's a different sacrifice and, and I don't want to lump it into that because

00:12:20.140 I feel like maybe it would be a little disrespectful in a way.

00:12:22.760 That makes sense.

00:12:23.540 Um, but how do we honor not only his men that he's lost, his brothers and sisters that he's

00:12:28.780 lost, uh, but, but the people in iron council or your family, your friends or whoever may

00:12:34.120 be, frankly, you live the kind of life worthy of, in this case, their sacrifice.

00:12:39.520 Yeah.

00:12:40.120 Um, if there isn't some sort of sacrifice, you still live a life worthy of their teachings

00:12:46.760 and guidance and mentoring, you know, I think about my family, well, my mom, for example,

00:12:52.320 you know, odds are she's going to pass away before I do. 0.97

00:12:55.520 That's a weird thing to even think about.

00:12:57.140 Yeah.

00:12:57.720 So how do I honor her memory by upholding the standard and everything that she's taught

00:13:02.980 me?

00:13:03.440 Yeah.

00:13:04.080 And, and when I have things that go my way because I'm implementing lessons and experiences

00:13:09.240 and conversations and stories that she shared with me from the time I was born to up until

00:13:15.120 now, I can take pride knowing that it was her that instilled that upon me and, and be happy

00:13:21.740 about that rather than be miserable.

00:13:24.600 I think a lot of people look at death as something miserable and it, you know, to a degree, it

00:13:29.340 definitely is, especially if it's unexpected, but you obviously have to overcome that, but

00:13:36.820 it can also be very, it's, it's natural, obviously, obviously, but it can also be a very

00:13:42.080 good thing in that if you honor these people correctly, it's like, man, you honor their

00:13:47.740 life and how they showed up and what they taught you and what they instilled upon you

00:13:52.380 and why you're a better human being because that individual was in your life.

00:13:56.580 And that's something I actually strive to be is whether it's in this podcast or on the

00:14:01.880 mat or in order of men or iron council, or as a, as a husband or a father is I want people

00:14:11.000 to be better because I was in their life.

00:14:13.640 Yeah.

00:14:14.260 And, and it sounds like in Brian's case, of course, he's got brothers that are like that.

00:14:18.220 We have friends that are like that, that we're better because those people are in our lives.

00:14:22.100 So it's not an opportunity to self-destruct, which I think a lot of people do.

00:14:25.320 Yeah.

00:14:25.920 And they'll wallow in, in, in their own pity and misery.

00:14:29.100 And of course it's hard.

00:14:30.200 I'm not saying it isn't, but live a life worthy of what these people taught you.

00:14:36.160 And, and, and I think about too, is if that individual was still around, what advice would

00:14:42.860 they be giving you?

00:14:43.880 Yeah.

00:14:45.460 Right.

00:14:45.880 Like if you're asking that question, okay, what if your, your closest brother in arms was

00:14:50.900 still with you and you, and you and him lost somebody else, what advice would he be giving

00:14:56.960 you?

00:14:57.380 And I'd be willing to bet he'd be giving something similar.

00:15:00.180 Hey, let's live a life worthy of their sacrifice.

00:15:02.040 Let's remember them.

00:15:02.700 Let's honor them by our actions, by our words, by our deeds in the way that we show up.

00:15:06.940 Totally.

00:15:07.400 Well, and I think the fact that life is limited is the very thing that makes it precious,

00:15:13.720 right?

00:15:14.140 True.

00:15:14.460 Great point.

00:15:14.880 So, I mean, if we, if it's not limited, then we would all probably be wasting it far more

00:15:18.800 than we, we already do, unfortunately.

00:15:21.100 Yeah.

00:15:21.280 I think that's true.

00:15:22.260 So do you think there's an aspect of this that, that maybe from a, cause when I read Brian's

00:15:27.860 question, I really feel it's like a little bit of how do we do this in the IC?

00:15:31.720 IC, like, is there, I don't know, is there a future idea of IC brothers that have passed

00:15:38.880 that we, you know, or is, or do you think a little bit of that is, is comparing to kind

00:15:45.660 of like the, the soldier, the military side of it?

00:15:49.100 And you don't want to do that or I don't know.

00:15:50.700 I don't think you get what I'm saying.

00:15:51.700 Yeah, I do.

00:15:52.240 And I don't think that it's, I don't think if we were to honor our iron council brothers

00:15:57.660 that way, that would be disrespectful. 0.51

00:15:59.240 I don't take it like that unless we took some sort of symbolism or something directly from

00:16:05.180 what the seals were doing or some unit like that.

00:16:07.400 Yeah.

00:16:07.660 I wouldn't feel disrespectful about that.

00:16:09.640 It is, it isn't something I've actually considered at all.

00:16:12.580 So I can't tell you this is what we would do or this is how we would do it.

00:16:15.980 But, uh, it is an interesting thing, especially for those guys who have been around for some,

00:16:23.280 you know, measurable amount of time.

00:16:25.260 These are guys who have given a lot of contribution to what we're doing.

00:16:28.960 And I'm wondering if consideration, I'm wondering if it didn't actually just present itself,

00:16:33.700 right?

00:16:34.120 If we had, if we had someone that passed away, that's been in the IC for a while, we'd probably

00:16:38.660 naturally say, okay, how do we honor this guy?

00:16:41.080 Yeah.

00:16:41.380 Yeah.

00:16:41.580 It would almost be cool.

00:16:42.580 Like I think about sports teams where, you know, you retire a Jersey, for example, like

00:16:47.400 it would almost be cool if we had somebody who was, uh, very instrumental in growing and

00:16:52.660 developing the iron council, like not, not like you or anything like someone more important.

00:16:56.780 Yeah.

00:16:57.280 Where we would, uh, where we would, I don't know, have a seat at the table, you know,

00:17:04.000 something like that.

00:17:04.960 I don't know.

00:17:05.180 Yeah.

00:17:05.480 Or even just, I don't know.

00:17:06.620 Yeah.

00:17:07.140 Some worth consideration.

00:17:08.120 Yeah.

00:17:08.460 Let's, let's hope we don't have to come up with this anytime soon.

00:17:11.300 Yeah.

00:17:11.540 I mean, the odds are that we are with 500 guys, it's bound to happen.

00:17:15.140 Yeah.

00:17:15.420 And you know, unfortunately, maybe it already has.

00:17:18.000 Well, it has.

00:17:18.740 If you remember, I think, uh, we had a guy in Echo.

00:17:22.260 Oh, that's right.

00:17:23.160 Passed away a few, a couple of years ago.

00:17:25.600 Yeah.

00:17:25.880 Yeah.

00:17:26.200 He wasn't a member very long.

00:17:27.620 Yeah.

00:17:28.160 But nonetheless, still a member.

00:17:30.220 Yeah.

00:17:30.740 Yeah.

00:17:31.320 Hmm.

00:17:32.060 Something worth thinking about.

00:17:33.040 Yeah, for sure.

00:17:33.980 All right.

00:17:34.260 Tom Kingwell, uh, really good question here, Tom.

00:17:37.400 That's a little, are these Facebook questions?

00:17:39.860 No, these are iron council.

00:17:41.420 Oh, you did those first.

00:17:42.760 Okay.

00:17:42.920 Yeah.

00:17:43.140 Bubba, Brian and Tom had some questions from the IC and then we'll jump into Facebook.

00:17:46.320 So, so Tom's question, uh, do you think of the self-help epidemic is leading to people

00:17:53.840 being unsatisfied with their lives and instrumentalizing people, moments and memories to get ahead.

00:18:00.840 And that perhaps turning to some good old fashioned truths, values and ways of life would bring greater contentment.

00:18:07.120 So I think what Tom's referring to, and I can't remember the gentleman's name, but there is a, uh, Danish philosopher, I believe, who wrote a book.

00:18:20.300 He was on art of manliness.

00:18:21.400 I just listened to this podcast last week or something.

00:18:23.960 Yeah.

00:18:24.160 And he was talking, he was talking about this self-help.

00:18:27.380 Yeah.

00:18:28.160 And so I'm thinking this is probably where this is coming from.

00:18:31.040 Okay.

00:18:31.340 The podcast was really fascinating because he said that, uh, the cell that there is a problem with self-help and that everybody's trying to develop and grow and build in every facet of life.

00:18:41.300 And it's like, man, we can't ever be satisfied with where we are and like, nothing's ever good enough.

00:18:46.100 And we always have to be doing this work on ourself.

00:18:48.720 And if we're, you know, I took a nap before we did this podcast and heaven forbid I take a nap because that's downtime.

00:18:55.220 It's wasted time.

00:18:56.420 I can't be doing that.

00:18:57.820 Yeah.

00:18:58.200 But do you think really that many people are like going that hardcore?

00:19:02.760 No.

00:19:03.320 You don't say like they might talk about, yeah, I think it's the other side, right?

00:19:07.540 I think everyone's running their mouth about, oh, I need to do it.

00:19:10.040 I'm on top of the world and it's like, oh, but I'm going to start Monday, you know?

00:19:13.060 But there is.

00:19:13.780 So one of the things that he mentioned, Tom mentioned is this, uh, I think he called it instrument as a instrumentalization.

00:19:20.760 Yeah.

00:19:21.540 And what that is, is that you're using all of your resources and relationships and everything you have as an instrument to get ahead.

00:19:30.620 So for example, you and I can't, maybe, maybe we're friendly, but I'm only using it because you're adding value to the podcast.

00:19:38.840 Right.

00:19:39.240 Right.

00:19:39.720 Or, or you, you find this other relationship.

00:19:42.200 So the relationships are superficial because of that.

00:19:44.280 It's an instrument.

00:19:44.640 It's simply an instrument as opposed to intrinsically valuable.

00:19:48.600 Totally.

00:19:49.200 Right.

00:19:49.420 Like I find our relationship intrinsically valuable.

00:19:52.860 Yeah.

00:19:53.100 So if we weren't doing a podcast together or I wasn't getting something out of the deal, I feel like you and I would still have a friendship.

00:20:00.120 Yeah, totally.

00:20:00.740 But there's a lot of people who, who only do it to, and I call it gaming the system, right?

00:20:06.140 Yeah.

00:20:06.320 They're only friendly because they hope to get from it.

00:20:08.880 Totally.

00:20:09.060 It's not that the thing is intrinsically valuable.

00:20:11.860 Jiu Jitsu is actually a great example of this.

00:20:14.540 Jiu Jitsu to me is intrinsically valuable in that whether I use it as an instrument to save my life or not, I'm going to do it because it's valuable in and of itself.

00:20:27.180 Yeah.

00:20:28.020 It, it does lead to something else.

00:20:30.240 It has positive results, but it's not just the results you're seeking for.

00:20:33.840 Right.

00:20:34.000 Same thing with exercise.

00:20:35.040 So a lot of guys will say, and I think there's a balance here.

00:20:38.860 I think there is value in using resources and assets as an instrument, but a lot of guys will exercise so they can get down to 15% body fat or the, or, or lower, or they'll exercise so they can get the beach body physique when maybe they ought to just be exercising because it's intrinsically valuable.

00:20:56.960 Yeah.

00:20:57.360 You should do it.

00:20:58.160 Right.

00:20:58.500 And that's it.

00:20:59.220 Like they're almost like you don't need a reason to do these things.

00:21:03.400 You don't need a reason to be friendly.

00:21:05.040 You don't need a reason to practice Jiu Jitsu.

00:21:08.420 You don't need a reason to exercise.

00:21:10.100 You just do it because it's good in and of itself.

00:21:14.220 Yeah.

00:21:14.740 So that's what he's referring to.

00:21:16.120 I think if I had to guess, that's what he's referring to.

00:21:18.380 And, and I, even though you haven't answered the question yet, so we'll, we'll let you answer the question, but I can totally relate to this.

00:21:24.980 Like I've told, I've had, um, I've had, Oh, how do I say this without like, cause I don't want to like throw anybody under the bus.

00:21:33.520 I've had relationships where like, I really honestly feel the only reason that relationship existed was for that benefit.

00:21:43.120 Oh, for sure.

00:21:43.460 It was about connections to certain people is about improving their network or whatever, but it was very, almost like crazy superficial. 0.99

00:21:54.040 And it sucks.

00:21:54.840 It's not a great way to, yeah, it's, I mean, you might get what you want and I guess there's value in that, but I, I don't know. 0.96

00:22:02.420 But I, but from my perspective, I saw it like I could tell, you know what I mean?

00:22:07.040 And so it really didn't benefit because then I was immediately like, I didn't have that, a longterm established relationship that was positive.

00:22:14.960 Sure.

00:22:15.240 Right.

00:22:15.400 It felt very superficial.

00:22:16.580 Right.

00:22:17.160 And I was okay with it.

00:22:18.260 Like from a, from a superficial perspective, you know, I just realized you got something from it too.

00:22:24.100 Yeah.

00:22:24.320 And so maybe the arrangement, whether it was spoken or not was, Hey, we realized we're not friends, but like, you're going to get something from me.

00:22:31.240 I'm going to get something from you.

00:22:32.100 And, and I'm not saying there's not value in that.

00:22:34.000 There is.

00:22:34.360 There's still some value, but I think what's interesting, and we talked about this at the main event, you know, you had me kind of speak on connection.

00:22:41.700 Yeah.

00:22:41.860 And I really think in the end, like we're talking like Brian's question about, you know, we're talking about death a little bit in the end, those relationships and those connections, the ones that were superficial.

00:22:53.920 Are the ones we're probably going to like regret and not feel like fulfilled about.

00:22:59.840 Oh, well, we might get what I'm saying about them.

00:23:02.120 Yeah.

00:23:02.440 Yeah.

00:23:02.720 And so it's, there's a price though.

00:23:05.380 Right.

00:23:05.880 Because that's not finite.

00:23:07.560 Yeah.

00:23:07.720 And those, and those aren't the kind of relationships that you want to ultimately leave.

00:23:11.940 Right.

00:23:12.460 With, you know what I'm saying?

00:23:13.700 Like you'd want to really spend your time fully engaged and, and really strong relationships with people, something not so superficial.

00:23:21.000 But I think about this a lot with social media and it's weird for me to say, because I've made a career of being on social media.

00:23:27.820 That's tough though, too, though, right?

00:23:29.320 Because it has to be somewhat superficial.

00:23:30.980 For what I do.

00:23:31.700 Yeah.

00:23:32.000 Yeah.

00:23:32.320 But what's interesting is, and I try not to be this way.

00:23:36.060 And I think I do a fairly good job at it because when I meet people, a lot of guys will say, oh, you're the same guy that, that you are on social media.

00:23:44.480 Right.

00:23:45.200 And that's a compliment.

00:23:46.200 You're like, oh, good.

00:23:46.540 I don't take that as a compliment because what they're saying in the way I perceive that.

00:23:49.860 Brian's authentic.

00:23:50.900 No, not authentic.

00:23:52.940 Genuine.

00:23:53.680 Genuine.

00:23:54.220 That's right.

00:23:55.120 The way that I perceive them saying that is they thought that what I was doing was a game.

00:24:00.840 And I don't take that personally.

00:24:02.580 I just think that they've been let down so many times before that they're like, oh, this guy's probably just.

00:24:07.120 Yeah.

00:24:07.320 To see you genuine, they're like, oh, that's refreshing.

00:24:09.540 That's exactly right.

00:24:10.380 So, the question then becomes, would you do it if you didn't get any accolades about it?

00:24:16.440 Yeah.

00:24:16.720 Like, would you practice jujitsu if you couldn't take some pictures and post them and get some praise?

00:24:22.300 Yeah.

00:24:22.580 You would.

00:24:23.480 Yeah.

00:24:23.720 But there's probably people who wouldn't.

00:24:25.220 Yeah.

00:24:25.640 Totally.

00:24:25.920 Because that's part of the persona that are creating for themselves.

00:24:28.880 Yeah.

00:24:29.040 Would you hunt?

00:24:30.500 Would you, do you really treat your children that way?

00:24:33.640 Like, if you aren't getting recognized and if, and if you're answering that question, like, maybe I wouldn't and you're being truthful, then there's probably some, what is the term?

00:24:43.840 Instrumentalization happening.

00:24:45.960 Right.

00:24:46.320 Yeah.

00:24:46.660 Which is very, I mean, what's before my legs are falling asleep on the stools.

00:24:49.860 On the stools.

00:24:50.340 These stools are not good.

00:24:51.420 We're going to have to rethink this.

00:24:52.760 Show some thigh and show a little leg. 1.00

00:24:56.000 But I think, I don't know, but that's so natural, right? 0.95

00:24:59.780 Like, every damn thing everyone does, every day, every darn thing everyone does has to do with looking good. 0.67

00:25:08.020 Like, it's, it's in our fabric. 0.99

00:25:10.940 It's how you dress.

00:25:12.340 It's a survival strategy.

00:25:13.660 Yeah.

00:25:14.180 So to say you're old as man.

00:25:15.580 Yeah.

00:25:15.800 It's super hard not to do that.

00:25:17.500 I get, I think the idea is maybe be aware that you're doing it right.

00:25:21.540 And kind of put yourself in check and your motives.

00:25:23.700 Yeah.

00:25:24.040 Right.

00:25:24.260 Like, I, I try to dress well because it makes me feel good about myself, for example, and it helps establish some credibility and authority potentially.

00:25:34.940 Totally.

00:25:35.860 Not necessarily because I'm going to get a bunch of praise for, you know, or, and I'm not saying I'm a great dresser.

00:25:40.040 Yeah.

00:25:40.420 That's just an example.

00:25:41.240 Yeah.

00:25:41.280 But you're not naive enough to say either that, oh, it doesn't matter how I dress.

00:25:45.080 No, people are going to judge you based upon how you dress and how you present yourself.

00:25:48.380 We've got our computers and we've got all this stuff and this gear and we've got the desk and then I put the flags up.

00:25:52.620 Like I was intentional about if you're listening or you're watching this on video.

00:25:56.060 Yeah.

00:25:56.440 Like, it's not like I didn't think this through.

00:26:00.300 Yeah.

00:26:00.840 So is it instrumental, instrumentalization?

00:26:03.020 I have a hard time saying that.

00:26:04.040 The answer is yes, it is instrumentalization.

00:26:06.660 Yeah, totally.

00:26:07.060 So we're not saying that's bad.

00:26:08.900 Yeah.

00:26:09.360 Just not let it be the driving factor maybe.

00:26:11.620 Or balance it with, hey, I just do this because it's inherently valuable to me.

00:26:15.860 Yeah.

00:26:16.220 Certain things in your life.

00:26:17.200 Maybe there should be some things that are.

00:26:18.680 So do we answer Tom's question?

00:26:20.220 I don't know.

00:26:20.900 You have to bat it long enough.

00:26:22.920 Yeah.

00:26:23.360 He was just that.

00:26:23.680 Is it leading people to being unsatisfied with their lives?

00:26:25.940 Oh, for sure.

00:26:26.520 Because you're comparing yourself to other people.

00:26:28.780 And I know I'm really guilty of this.

00:26:30.840 In fact, I think I talked about it last week on last week's podcast is my patience and I'm

00:26:35.880 looking at what other people are doing.

00:26:36.940 I'm like, why don't I have that?

00:26:37.720 Why don't I have this?

00:26:38.740 And it's like, you know, actually that's one of the reasons that I really enjoy our move

00:26:42.880 to Maine is because the pace is a lot slower.

00:26:45.620 There's definitely less here in Maine of the notion of keeping up with the Joneses.

00:26:50.620 I noticed a lot of that in Southern Utah.

00:26:53.220 Yeah.

00:26:53.800 And I don't know if it's just inherently built into the culture or what, but I noticed it's

00:26:58.220 like, well, this guy got a new vehicle and that guy got a boat and this guy's house is

00:27:02.180 a hundred square feet bigger than mine.

00:27:03.800 And yeah, it's, but it's so hard not to do.

00:27:05.760 It is hard, but here it doesn't feel like that.

00:27:08.500 Yeah.

00:27:08.680 It's a lot better.

00:27:09.420 And people don't seem to care as much about that.

00:27:12.880 And I like that because the pace of life is a little slower.

00:27:16.920 I'm not worried about super superficial items as much is not as relevant in my life.

00:27:22.020 And I can focus on the things that are meaningful to me, like, like being fully present for my

00:27:27.280 kids and being deeply engaged and connected with my wife and doing work that's meaningful

00:27:32.180 and significant to me.

00:27:33.160 Not worrying about what my neighbor, John, the new truck he just bought and why I don't

00:27:37.220 have the 2019, I have the 2017 or 2020 or whatever, you know, totally, totally.

00:27:43.580 Yeah.

00:27:43.960 Asia and I, we have to, we have, we check ourselves every so often from that perspective.

00:27:48.240 I mean, you've been in my house, like you, you cross that road and the house, like the

00:27:54.000 neighborhood, the general neighborhood in which we live in is very wealthy.

00:27:57.140 And it is super tough sometimes to be driving my, you know, driving the Stingray that's

00:28:04.520 like a boat built in the eighties, you know what I mean?

00:28:07.100 And then like, you know, the neighbors across the street, they have the new Air Nautique

00:28:11.820 that's like worth more than our other rental home.

00:28:15.100 And it's like, man, our boat sucks. 0.81

00:28:17.380 Who cares? 0.88

00:28:18.300 Do you get what I'm saying?

00:28:19.200 But it's a very natural thing to like, ah, you know, and you have to kind of like, wait,

00:28:24.340 nah, you know what?

00:28:24.980 It's good enough.

00:28:25.740 And we're, and we're purposely putting our attention to value elsewhere.

00:28:28.960 That's the difference.

00:28:29.860 You said, use the word purposely.

00:28:32.120 That's exactly right.

00:28:33.280 You made a deliberate, intentional decision to, to have that boat or to drive that car or

00:28:42.120 to live in that house.

00:28:43.420 And I think once you are more clear and more intentional about the choices you're making,

00:28:47.940 then you're more, you're, you're, you're better positioned to not be so swayed by what

00:28:53.980 other people are doing.

00:28:54.980 Totally.

00:28:55.180 It's the same thing with the, the, the FOMO, right?

00:28:57.840 Fear of missing out.

00:28:59.060 Have you heard, you've heard, okay.

00:29:00.760 So FOMO is like fear of missing out.

00:29:03.060 Like, Oh, I'm assuming teenage kids, social media.

00:29:05.920 It's like, but not just teenage kids.

00:29:08.000 I mean, grown men, you know, I'm sure there's people who right now see us here at immersion

00:29:13.440 and they're like, Oh man, I'm really missing out.

00:29:15.540 I want to be at camp.

00:29:16.520 Dude, you made, you made a choice not to be here.

00:29:21.900 Yeah.

00:29:22.340 So that's okay.

00:29:24.720 Like make a choice.

00:29:26.760 And yeah, you might be saddened or want to be out here, but you made that choice.

00:29:31.240 If you were deliberate and intentional about that choice and you thought about it and you

00:29:35.500 worked through it and you still made the other choice.

00:29:38.720 Cool.

00:29:39.640 Take comfort in knowing that I made this choice for a reason.

00:29:43.360 Yeah.

00:29:43.960 So when I see somebody with a brand new car and I get this idea of like, well, I want

00:29:48.420 a new truck.

00:29:49.160 I'm like, no, no, wait.

00:29:50.520 I made a choice not to have a brand new truck because I would like to spend this money and

00:29:57.580 allocate these resources over here, not towards the vehicle.

00:30:01.760 And then that seems to put things in perspective and check a little bit.

00:30:05.620 Yeah, totally.

00:30:06.260 Otherwise what you end up doing is just, Oh, well, almost like a woe is me or, Oh, this 0.98

00:30:10.980 sucks. 0.89

00:30:11.360 I wish I had it. 0.99

00:30:12.000 Well, I wish, I wish, I wish.

00:30:13.000 And then you're just feeling shitty about yourself because you're not, or chasing what

00:30:16.540 everybody else has and then actually having it because you could actually have what other

00:30:20.520 people have.

00:30:21.060 You're like, well, I, you know, I really want to have what Kip has.

00:30:23.740 So I buy the same car or I live in the same neighborhood and all of a sudden I'm pursuing

00:30:27.420 your dreams instead of mine.

00:30:29.400 Yeah.

00:30:30.040 Because I'm like playing catch up to you, which might be temporary, but no long, you're

00:30:34.380 going to long term satisfaction.

00:30:35.740 Yeah.

00:30:35.920 You're going to be happy for a minute and then it's going to go away.

00:30:38.060 It's fleeting.

00:30:38.640 Yeah.

00:30:39.360 Hmm.

00:30:40.540 Very insightful.

00:30:41.100 All right.

00:30:41.640 Facebook.

00:30:42.040 So these questions are from facebook.com, uh, slash group slash order of man.

00:30:47.500 Yep.

00:30:47.800 So Jason Wiley shoe, not a question.

00:30:52.020 Don't do, don't even read Jason. 0.58

00:30:53.420 What the hell? 1.00

00:30:54.980 Oh, what the crap? 1.00

00:30:56.520 I think I've corrected you what three or four times. 0.99

00:30:58.720 Yeah.

00:30:58.880 That's four times.

00:30:59.380 I'm going to see.

00:31:00.100 I'm going to just, actually, I'm done.

00:31:01.780 I'm done actually for the rest of this episode.

00:31:03.640 We'll see.

00:31:04.360 We'll see.

00:31:04.700 I left this in here because it's, well, it made me feel good when, when I read it.

00:31:08.860 So, um, what would you classify as a swear word?

00:31:13.220 Like is, you know, you based upon how, how my social condition, right?

00:31:18.240 Because how I was raised, we basically just swear words are just noises with, with social

00:31:24.440 interpretation.

00:31:25.300 And that's what you talk about a lot.

00:31:26.340 It's like, it's the meaning we attach to it.

00:31:28.000 That's why I justify a swear word.

00:31:30.120 So what is a swear word?

00:31:32.560 I guess it's different for everybody, but I think it's okay.

00:31:35.320 A, cause we also might have, we're totally going to riff on this.

00:31:38.280 There might be a drawback or we, it may be really easy for us to say, well, our social

00:31:42.620 condition is just a word, blah, blah, blah.

00:31:44.000 That's not a big deal.

00:31:44.840 But let's be real.

00:31:46.640 Like, oh, it's important.

00:31:47.520 There are important social conditions which benefit you and hinder you and, and affect

00:31:52.580 you in your social condition.

00:31:53.840 And if we agree on the meaning, like, let's take language.

00:31:56.160 People say, well, it's just words.

00:31:57.560 Well, yes, technically, or excuse me, it's just noises.

00:32:00.280 Yes, technically you're making noises with your lungs and your diaphragm and your vocal

00:32:05.180 cords and the air passing through that.

00:32:06.840 That's technically what's happening.

00:32:08.640 But if we collectively agree that this particular noise means dot, dot, dot, that's important.

00:32:16.340 That's what it means.

00:32:16.980 Because like thinking about having a conversation or thinking about understanding how you feel

00:32:22.120 about certain situations or thinking about you trying to teach me a technique.

00:32:25.640 If we didn't agree on the meaning of that word, how well would this whole thing work?

00:32:30.280 So yes, they are just noises, but words are important and the meaning that we give them

00:32:37.700 are important.

00:32:38.480 Totally.

00:32:39.080 And I always thought, I always love this thought process that anyone that says, you

00:32:44.840 know, words don't have meaning then say, okay, well, what's the internal dialogue that

00:32:48.440 you speak in?

00:32:50.040 It's a language.

00:32:51.080 It's a language.

00:32:51.760 When you internalize something, when you demonize someone or you're angry about something,

00:32:55.300 all of your thought process is based on language.

00:32:58.520 Right.

00:32:58.780 Or even you saying words don't have meaning.

00:33:03.260 Those words you just use have meaning.

00:33:05.500 Yeah, totally.

00:33:06.660 Because if they didn't, I wouldn't understand what those noises are.

00:33:09.820 Yeah.

00:33:10.220 Yeah.

00:33:10.720 It's totally crazy.

00:33:11.640 All right.

00:33:11.960 So Jason's comment, he says, I wanted to thank you, Ryan.

00:33:14.980 It's a pleasure listening and taking your advice and opinions.

00:33:17.700 I've learned a lot about myself, communicated better with my daughter, my mom, and my future

00:33:22.240 wife.

00:33:23.000 And Kip for your parenting advice.

00:33:24.500 I'm a man in the fire, New York fire department and landscape and I landscape on the side.

00:33:30.640 I listened to you guys cutting grass and driving to work.

00:33:32.920 So thank you.

00:33:33.520 I've been listening for three years now.

00:33:35.240 That's awesome.

00:33:35.900 That's Jason.

00:33:36.720 Yeah.

00:33:37.040 Jason, appreciate you, man.

00:33:38.180 We need, we need the support.

00:33:39.760 We appreciate the support.

00:33:40.840 We need great men in this fight.

00:33:42.660 Sounds like you're on the right path and the right track and honored to stand with you in

00:33:45.740 this, this, this whole notion of reclaiming and restoring masculinity.

00:33:49.360 Yeah.

00:33:49.720 Super cool.

00:33:50.360 Very cool.

00:33:50.700 Thanks Jason.

00:33:51.100 All right.

00:33:51.580 Thomas Kiley, how to maintain a healthy work and home relationship while having two kids

00:33:56.500 under two years old?

00:33:57.520 Um, I don't think it's, I mean, the tactics might be different for having a kid that's,

00:34:03.440 you know, nine and seven.

00:34:04.780 Yeah.

00:34:05.180 But I don't think it's any different really.

00:34:07.380 Yeah.

00:34:07.680 Uh, it's going to be, again, the tactics are going to be different, right?

00:34:11.240 You're not going to be playing catch with your kids when they're two years old, but you're

00:34:14.800 going to be spending a time with, with them.

00:34:16.480 You're going to be rolling on the ground.

00:34:17.720 I mean, how to maintain balance is have the boundaries established, communicate.

00:34:22.320 And you're saying the balance, regardless of age, right?

00:34:24.360 The balance act is an act period.

00:34:26.440 Like, yeah, you're going to struggle with balance.

00:34:28.660 I actually think it's a lot harder for men.

00:34:33.600 How do I, how do I word this?

00:34:35.700 I think it's harder for men to connect with babies.

00:34:39.260 Yeah.

00:34:39.700 Because all they do is sleep and poop and eat and cry.

00:34:44.900 Yeah.

00:34:45.400 And we don't, we didn't have them in the womb.

00:34:47.920 There's no connection.

00:34:49.620 Now, granted, when my children were born, all four of them were born, I was connected.

00:34:54.880 I love them immediately.

00:34:56.280 Yes.

00:34:57.000 But they weren't in my body for nine months.

00:34:59.700 Like they, they weren't relying upon me.

00:35:02.220 There wasn't really that connection.

00:35:03.880 And that connection, I don't really think develops until kids start getting older.

00:35:09.120 And, you know, dad gets more involved.

00:35:12.280 Well, and even in the early years, they're so, they're still reliant on mom.

00:35:15.620 Oh, a hundred percent.

00:35:16.560 It's like watching, watching our 10 month year olds.

00:35:19.120 Like I have to tell my wife to get out of the house because he is, if he sees her and 0.87

00:35:23.800 I'm holding him, he's like, dude, let go of me.

00:35:26.200 I want mom.

00:35:27.240 Yeah.

00:35:27.380 Yeah.

00:35:27.620 So, I mean, they're just naturally more dependent on her.

00:35:29.780 So that relationship's different.

00:35:31.100 Yeah.

00:35:31.380 Yeah.

00:35:31.620 So I think for, for a man, for a father, it's harder to connect with, with babies and toddlers.

00:35:37.660 And so I, I really think that we need, need to make a conscious effort to be involved

00:35:43.720 and be present and engage with our kids, even at that age to the best that we can.

00:35:48.940 It's easy when they can play catch.

00:35:50.660 Yeah.

00:35:51.380 It's easy when they can wrestle.

00:35:52.880 It's just a good excuse.

00:35:53.680 You're like, Oh honey, I got to go play catch with Tommy.

00:35:55.840 I got to go wrestle.

00:35:57.200 It's easy.

00:35:57.820 That's easy.

00:35:58.920 Yeah.

00:35:59.260 It's when they're young, two, four, you know, three years old where it's like, okay, yeah,

00:36:05.040 I got to be engaged.

00:36:05.980 I got to be present.

00:36:06.980 But as far as keeping the balance, is that what, is that the term you used?

00:36:10.200 Yeah.

00:36:10.220 Yeah.

00:36:10.560 The balance.

00:36:11.280 Just having healthy work, home relationship.

00:36:13.520 Yeah.

00:36:13.760 Just have those boundaries, leave work at work, leave home at home.

00:36:17.180 Whenever I try to do something, even now, if I'm podcasting, I'm podcasting.

00:36:23.320 If I'm playing catch with my kids, I'm playing catch with my kids.

00:36:28.260 Yeah.

00:36:28.460 You're not trying to do both.

00:36:29.740 Right.

00:36:30.080 And that's one thing I fall prey to a lot.

00:36:31.940 Like I noticed you have your phone out.

00:36:32.960 I got my phone.

00:36:33.620 All of us are within arm's reach of our phone at a given point.

00:36:35.940 This is a problem for me because my work is right here in my pocket and it's so easy to

00:36:41.960 like pull this out and, Oh, I just got to send this email real quick.

00:36:46.860 And, and my kids see that.

00:36:48.600 And my wife sees that and they don't interpret it as dad has to send an email.

00:36:52.660 They interpret it as that's more important than me.

00:36:56.120 So I really try and I'm not great at it, but I really try to be fully present in the

00:37:01.600 moment, whether it's training this week or doing this podcast right now or playing catch

00:37:06.980 with my kids or on a date with my wife.

00:37:09.040 It's like, that's the, that's the thing.

00:37:12.200 Yeah.

00:37:12.500 And I'm going to be the best at that thing in that moment.

00:37:18.100 Yeah.

00:37:18.300 I have a perfect example of this.

00:37:19.940 When I, I recently, I was just got divorced, uh, from my ex-wife.

00:37:25.560 Um, I just graduated college.

00:37:27.420 I was working full time and it was my first summer with the kids full time.

00:37:32.760 So it was this first new experience of, and it was a little chaotic, right?

00:37:36.820 I was like, well, wait a second.

00:37:37.860 So I have them full time.

00:37:40.120 Yeah.

00:37:40.880 So I got to find a sitter in the morning.

00:37:43.020 You know, my work was roughly about an hour away.

00:37:45.760 So I'd have to drop them.

00:37:46.720 Like I had to find daycare that was crazy early.

00:37:49.920 I had to pick up like, by the way, like that whole system doesn't even work.

00:37:53.600 I'm like, what?

00:37:54.480 I have to pick them up by three 30.

00:37:55.620 Like that's not even a full days of work.

00:37:57.040 Like, and so I got into this predicament where I was like, okay, I'd have to pick them

00:38:00.960 up by a certain time.

00:38:01.940 It wasn't a full day yet.

00:38:03.000 Right.

00:38:03.560 So then I'd come home.

00:38:05.080 I've tried to like do some more work.

00:38:08.320 I would try to like play and, and I tried to do both and, and everyone, anyone that's

00:38:15.680 experienced this, you're going to be able to relate to this immediately.

00:38:18.620 I was pissed off half the time.

00:38:21.160 Stop talking.

00:38:21.940 You guys are being too loud.

00:38:22.800 I've constantly, because I can't focus.

00:38:25.040 I was yelling at my kids.

00:38:26.840 They're wanting to play.

00:38:28.180 They're being innocent in the process.

00:38:29.820 I'm stressed out.

00:38:31.140 And I tried that for, and literally for like a couple of weeks and I was just losing my

00:38:35.320 mind.

00:38:35.640 I was just like, oh my gosh, like I am.

00:38:37.500 And then I'd feel guilty because I was yelling at them and they would, it would get late

00:38:41.860 because I've didn't get the work done.

00:38:44.000 And so now they're going to bed late and it was just, oh my gosh, it was like a snowball

00:38:48.140 scenario.

00:38:49.160 And then I remember, uh, one of those days I eventually was like, I kind of had this mentality.

00:38:54.660 I just walked in the house and I was just like, F it.

00:38:58.840 Like who cares?

00:39:00.920 And I just put the laptop away and I played Legos on the, on the carpet.

00:39:05.880 Right.

00:39:06.540 And just did whatever they wanted to do.

00:39:08.700 And I just, it's almost like it felt like careless.

00:39:12.040 I'm just going to throw work to the side.

00:39:14.220 I'm not going to worry about a thing.

00:39:15.640 It doesn't matter.

00:39:17.020 And I just was present with my kids.

00:39:18.900 And that's a boundary.

00:39:19.640 Yeah.

00:39:19.920 And even now I would even say that even for dads of like littler kids are talking about

00:39:25.360 that.

00:39:25.480 Even with my 10, 10 month year old right now, it's way more enjoyable actually.

00:39:30.640 If I just go into his room and play with the little blocks, he enjoys it and I enjoy

00:39:35.180 it.

00:39:35.480 It's when I'm like, oh, let me clean the house and do this while I'm holding the name.

00:39:39.540 That's when it's stressful.

00:39:40.820 So sometimes it's like turn off the light and just focus on that one thing.

00:39:45.740 And it is hard because we have a lot of demands.

00:39:47.800 You know, you talk about cleaning the house and you've got your job and you've got the business

00:39:50.720 and you've got your wife and you've got your other kids.

00:39:52.800 Yeah.

00:39:53.160 It is really hard.

00:39:54.080 And so I would say this is a boundaries thing.

00:39:56.540 And this is also a time management thing as well.

00:39:58.920 Yeah.

00:39:59.140 You need to be hyper efficient.

00:40:00.300 That's why being present is so important with whatever role you're playing is because

00:40:03.520 at work.

00:40:04.220 So your efficiency is insanely high.

00:40:06.560 Like I know.

00:40:07.100 So one of the things I did years and years ago in my financial planning practice is I decided

00:40:12.140 that I was going to call my day the end of the week at two o'clock on Friday afternoon.

00:40:18.060 Like I didn't want to work till five o'clock.

00:40:19.660 I wanted to start on a Friday.

00:40:21.720 And for the longest time I waffled back and forth because I thought that I wouldn't get

00:40:25.500 as much done.

00:40:26.580 But what was interesting is when I shortened the timeframe from five to two, I actually

00:40:30.820 got more done than I would in a quote unquote normal work day because I knew that I had a

00:40:37.320 hard stop at two o'clock.

00:40:38.620 And so I was hustling, hustling, hustling, trying to get that stuff done.

00:40:43.120 And so it just, to me, it taught me a lesson that why didn't I stop every day at two o'clock?

00:40:49.660 And what in the world have I been doing with three to four hours every day for the last

00:40:57.660 five or six years when I could have been much more effective and efficient?

00:41:02.740 And there's also times where maybe you should, that's a work thing.

00:41:06.500 At home, I would say unless you're maybe working on a project, potentially cleaning the house,

00:41:12.380 making dinner, maybe doing some chores.

00:41:14.900 Yeah.

00:41:15.500 I don't look at trying to be efficient with my kids.

00:41:18.120 Yeah.

00:41:18.500 Yeah.

00:41:18.760 It's not going to work.

00:41:19.440 No.

00:41:19.640 It's like, let's get 10 throws each in with a football and we'll do this drill.

00:41:23.440 And no, it's like, I'm not going to be efficient with that.

00:41:25.700 I'm going to say, okay, I've got, I've got this time block and we're going to use all of

00:41:28.960 it as much as we can.

00:41:31.060 And we're going to let it go wherever it wants to go.

00:41:32.860 Totally.

00:41:33.460 There's been numerous scenarios.

00:41:34.940 I crunches, right?

00:41:36.660 It's like, I got two hours to like, get this done.

00:41:39.840 Yeah.

00:41:40.440 And then you get it done.

00:41:41.500 You're like, geez.

00:41:42.480 Yeah.

00:41:42.840 That was, that was really productive.

00:41:44.800 That was better than I thought it was.

00:41:45.500 Yeah.

00:41:46.120 And then it makes you wonder like, geez, could I have done even more yesterday?

00:41:50.980 Exactly.

00:41:51.380 If I was just like laser focused.

00:41:54.120 Yeah.

00:41:54.300 Yeah.

00:41:54.660 That's gnarly.

00:41:55.860 All right.

00:41:56.640 Clay Grigsbaugh.

00:41:58.180 In your opinion, what movie character, but best exemplifies masculinity, manhood, and

00:42:03.060 sovereignty?

00:42:05.060 The two movies that immediately come to mind, maybe three is Braveheart, Patriot, and Gladiator.

00:42:14.340 Oh man.

00:42:15.260 I was going to throw Last of the Mohicans in there. 1.00

00:42:17.700 Oh, that's true.

00:42:18.300 That would be a good point too.

00:42:19.380 That'd be a good one too.

00:42:20.860 But yeah, those, yeah, those four, including Last of the Mohicans, that those are the four 0.91

00:42:25.280 I'd come up with.

00:42:26.080 Yeah.

00:42:26.520 Me too.

00:42:27.480 Those are good movies.

00:42:28.960 Easy.

00:42:30.320 All right.

00:42:31.320 Joshua.

00:42:31.880 That'd be a tough one.

00:42:32.500 I know.

00:42:33.360 Joshua.

00:42:33.860 Like music.

00:42:34.580 Shoobridge.

00:42:35.440 I know the music one.

00:42:36.540 Did you see?

00:42:37.760 A couple of guys had posted some things I didn't listen to.

00:42:40.220 They had some pretty, they had some interesting songs I've never actually even heard before.

00:42:45.000 Oh, I did see one.

00:42:45.840 I never heard these songs.

00:42:46.740 I was intrigued, but then I got distracted and didn't end up going back around.

00:42:50.040 I have, there's a, there's one song that is pretty, I'll share it to you with you

00:42:54.500 later tonight.

00:42:55.280 That's pretty solid.

00:42:56.260 Sounds weird.

00:42:57.300 I'll share it with you later tonight.

00:42:58.480 Yeah.

00:42:58.660 That's don't say it like that.

00:43:01.860 I'm swearing you're, you're, uh, you're going to inappropriate.

00:43:05.080 No, you went inappropriate.

00:43:06.280 I just called it out.

00:43:07.960 All right.

00:43:08.640 Joshua Shoobridge.

00:43:09.820 How can we fight against some of the negative negativity that exists in our communities?

00:43:15.120 Just be positive.

00:43:16.540 Yeah.

00:43:16.980 Just be the shining example of the kind of man that, that you have a desire to be the

00:43:22.240 kind of men who you are inspired by.

00:43:24.380 I, I don't think, I don't think you fight against it.

00:43:28.940 No, I don't think you're like, well, that's negative.

00:43:31.280 And so we can't be that way.

00:43:32.640 Or I'm going to argue with everybody for being negative.

00:43:34.840 Yeah.

00:43:34.980 I think that's negative in and of itself.

00:43:37.200 I think the best way that you fight this, fight this quote unquote, fight this is be

00:43:44.360 the kind of man that your community deserves and your community needs.

00:43:47.960 And so step up, be empathetic to, to individuals, be compassionate, uh, be service oriented, uh,

00:43:55.640 enlist other people, volunteer your time and money and effort and resources.

00:43:59.840 The other day, for example, Pete, uh, Roberts, he asked if he could use my side-by-side for

00:44:05.520 this camp and I said, yeah, of course.

00:44:08.240 Yeah.

00:44:08.400 That's not a problem at all.

00:44:09.380 Cause he was going to rent them.

00:44:10.660 And I'm like, don't, don't rent.

00:44:11.720 He even asked if he could rent it for me.

00:44:13.100 I'm like, nah, dude, like you don't need to rent it from me.

00:44:17.120 And so we, we busted out a couple of days earlier and, and I'm like, Hey, Breck, my

00:44:21.200 son, I'm like, Hey, come, come out and we're, we're going to clean this side-by-side.

00:44:24.780 So we washed it down and everything.

00:44:26.060 He's like, dad, why are we washing it?

00:44:27.540 And I said, because that's what we do.

00:44:30.520 Like we're going to let somebody borrow it and we're going to wash it.

00:44:33.960 So it's nice for him.

00:44:34.660 So it's nice.

00:44:35.280 And we go out of our way and take a little bit of extra measures to make sure that what

00:44:39.620 we're delivering is excellent.

00:44:42.840 Yeah.

00:44:43.300 We don't have to do that.

00:44:44.560 Maybe he doesn't even expect us to.

00:44:46.260 And you know what?

00:44:46.900 Maybe he didn't think anything twice of it, but we're, we, we do things with excellence.

00:44:52.640 And so we cleaned it.

00:44:53.720 We took a little extra time.

00:44:55.580 That's what I'm talking about is, is go the extra mile and do the extra thing.

00:44:59.920 And people will recognize that and see that and, and go out of your way.

00:45:04.820 I, that's, that's how you, I'm not going to say fight, but that's how you counterbalance

00:45:11.120 the potential negativity or the selfishness and, and put it in the right light, which is abundance

00:45:21.520 and prosperity and service and, and putting others needs potentially even above your own

00:45:26.720 at times.

00:45:27.280 When I think of the average guy that what they probably struggle with, I would assume it is

00:45:33.380 getting out of their comfort zone and having like conversations.

00:45:37.940 Like I'm thinking about just origin, for instance, there's huge opportunity for me to get out of

00:45:44.380 my shell, sit down at a table with some guys that I don't even know.

00:45:48.980 Watch the flag here.

00:45:49.700 Did I almost touch the order of band flag?

00:45:52.440 Oh, okay.

00:45:54.820 So, but to get out of my comfort zone and actually like get to know other guys and have conversations

00:46:00.880 with them, I'm assuming most guys probably struggle in that space more than anything.

00:46:04.760 Probably.

00:46:05.120 Would you agree?

00:46:06.300 It's, it's hard for me to fathom that, but I think you're probably right.

00:46:09.760 Yeah.

00:46:09.920 Cause that's really uncomfortable, right?

00:46:11.880 It can be.

00:46:12.680 Uh, I think it's something that I definitely think it's a personality thing, but I also think

00:46:17.200 it's a practice thing.

00:46:18.380 Yeah.

00:46:18.600 You know, just put yourself out there.

00:46:20.380 It's easy at events like this.

00:46:21.880 Cause we're all here to meet and we all have this common denominator and things, but yeah,

00:46:26.540 I think putting yourself out there cause there's risk in that.

00:46:29.380 Yeah.

00:46:30.100 Right.

00:46:30.380 Even if it's just sitting down at lunch with somebody here, there's risk in sitting down

00:46:36.040 at that table and saying, Hey, you guys mind if I sit down or maybe you're interrupting

00:46:39.720 a conversation or maybe you think, Oh, these guys are going to think I'm weird.

00:46:42.820 Yeah.

00:46:43.200 And so there's a, there's a level of risk, but so what?

00:46:47.280 Like really how bad could it be?

00:46:51.060 Yeah.

00:46:51.380 You know?

00:46:51.840 Yeah.

00:46:51.980 But to your point, I think a lot of what, what you're, you're telling, uh, Clay here

00:46:56.240 is like a lot, the, a lot of the counterbalance to negativity is us being uncomfortable.

00:47:01.640 Yes.

00:47:02.540 And doing these things that are uncomfortable, whether it's reaching out and creating new

00:47:06.480 connections and being a quote unquote lighthouse through your conversation or, or making the

00:47:12.280 extra effort on cleaning the side by side or offering services or moving people.

00:47:16.900 Like it's almost safe to say that every counter to the negativity is uncomfortable.

00:47:23.540 Oh, a hundred percent.

00:47:24.820 Yeah.

00:47:25.040 Like I actually had somebody the other day said, man, you guys just moved here.

00:47:28.800 You know, a lot of people.

00:47:30.060 I'm like, of course we do.

00:47:31.480 Yeah.

00:47:31.720 Because we go out of our way to embed ourselves and assimilate inside of the community.

00:47:36.660 So what am I doing to do that?

00:47:38.440 I'm inviting people over to my house.

00:47:40.400 I have bows.

00:47:41.300 I'm like, and I knew a guy, he, he, he wanted to shoot.

00:47:44.340 I'm like, yeah, just come on.

00:47:45.040 I got a bunch.

00:47:45.420 Like you can just come over and try it out, you know?

00:47:47.900 And, and there's parades and there's all kinds of things.

00:47:50.340 And we're trying to embed ourselves into the community by serving.

00:47:53.340 And, and it is awkward and it is uncomfortable and it does stretch us outside of our comfort

00:47:58.700 zone.

00:47:59.340 Not so much me.

00:48:00.240 Cause I'm used to it and I actually enjoy it.

00:48:01.840 I see it as a challenge, but certainly members of my family.

00:48:05.120 Yeah.

00:48:05.480 They're like, uh, and I'm like voluntary, involuntarily.

00:48:10.420 Thrusting them into it, you know?

00:48:11.740 But yeah, it is uncomfortable, but that's what it requires.

00:48:15.680 If you're going to be that kind of man.

00:48:17.120 And I'm assuming that's rewarding, right?

00:48:19.180 I enjoy it.

00:48:19.900 And I like the fact that we know people.

00:48:22.840 I like that we're part of the community.

00:48:25.900 That's valuable to me.

00:48:27.240 I like feeling like I'm part of the community and that requires effort.

00:48:31.080 I think what a lot of people think is that, okay, I'm moving to this new place.

00:48:36.180 And I think this is especially true a lot in our culture, religious culture.

00:48:40.280 That somehow they need to reach out to me and what, what, what is it called?

00:48:46.940 Um, fellowship, fellowship.

00:48:48.480 They need to reach out and they need to embrace us as the, no, no, no, no.

00:48:53.240 You're going into their house.

00:48:55.560 Yeah.

00:48:55.900 It's your, now should they?

00:48:58.040 Sure.

00:48:58.480 Of course.

00:48:59.180 Yeah.

00:48:59.320 But ultimately it's not their responsibility.

00:49:02.420 You want to get to know, I've had people say that all the time.

00:49:04.840 Oh, I went to church and nobody said hi.

00:49:07.200 I'm like, cool.

00:49:07.620 How many people did you say hi to?

00:49:09.480 Well, they should be saying hi to me.

00:49:11.780 It's like, what?

00:49:12.760 You're not owed anything.

00:49:14.340 Yeah.

00:49:14.820 You know, go out there, establish yourself, put yourself in, be assertive.

00:49:18.300 And, and I think you're going to eliminate this, this whole thing.

00:49:21.420 Like somebody owes me something else.

00:49:23.360 Yeah, totally.

00:49:24.720 And a perfect example of that in my life is my wife.

00:49:28.700 How so?

00:49:29.720 Every neighbor within a, I don't know.

00:49:33.240 They are.

00:49:34.000 Yeah.

00:49:34.600 We know everybody.

00:49:35.780 Right.

00:49:36.360 Why?

00:49:37.480 Because she's made a point.

00:49:38.760 She sees a new neighbor moving.

00:49:40.120 She's over to the house.

00:49:41.140 Hi, nice to meet you.

00:49:42.220 My name's Asia.

00:49:42.880 And she's, but, but what's great about it is you ask all those people, what's their

00:49:48.040 impression that she loves and cares.

00:49:51.020 Right.

00:49:51.680 And isn't that nice?

00:49:52.760 Like we were, we went over to our neighbor's house the other night.

00:49:55.100 They're, they're a little bit older and we, we actually really look at them as like grandma

00:49:59.280 and grandpa.

00:49:59.780 Yeah.

00:49:59.940 We got one in our neighborhood that way.

00:50:01.540 Yeah.

00:50:01.940 And so we went over there and, and, and, uh, she, she was talking with us and she said,

00:50:07.160 Oh, um, John was going to go over and get your trash cans.

00:50:10.600 Cause he noticed that you guys weren't home and he was going to go.

00:50:12.560 And then he went out and then they were gone.

00:50:13.900 So when you were, you're home, but I was like, that's cool because that means you're

00:50:17.040 looking after us.

00:50:18.180 Totally.

00:50:18.680 And that's why a community is so valuable is, and we noticed that they hadn't been there

00:50:23.320 for a couple of days.

00:50:24.200 And so, you know, we keep an eye on their house and make sure everything looks good.

00:50:26.960 If there was lights on or the garage was open, I'd run over there and close the garage.

00:50:30.140 I would do whatever I could to make sure that everything was taken care of.

00:50:33.060 Or if the mail was out, you know, I'd maybe collect the mail and go around the back

00:50:36.440 and set it on the porch.

00:50:37.400 And they do the same thing because you assert yourself and you go just a little, it's not

00:50:42.920 even hard.

00:50:43.740 Yeah.

00:50:44.420 It's not even hard to extend yourself.

00:50:46.460 It's just uncomfortable.

00:50:47.840 Yeah.

00:50:48.240 And, and it's funny because to your point earlier, so many people think, Oh, Oh, I moved into a

00:50:54.900 good community.

00:50:55.680 Yeah.

00:50:56.100 Or, Oh, I love my community.

00:50:57.960 Bad community.

00:50:58.420 Yeah.

00:50:58.640 And it's like, make it a good community.

00:51:01.480 That's right.

00:51:01.880 If you don't like it, change it.

00:51:03.100 Yeah.

00:51:03.320 And I really think people have that capability of bringing people together.

00:51:06.700 I do too.

00:51:07.140 If you're charismatic enough and willing to be uncomfortable and do it.

00:51:10.600 I don't think you need to be even charismatic.

00:51:12.280 Yeah.

00:51:12.640 Helps, but it does help.

00:51:13.980 It makes it easier certainly, but I think it's just effort.

00:51:16.700 Totally.

00:51:17.140 Yeah.

00:51:17.480 Totally.

00:51:17.800 And we see this in the, in the IC, you know, on guys on battle teams and you're like,

00:51:21.980 you want your battle team to be more accountable.

00:51:24.300 Guess what?

00:51:24.740 All you have to do.

00:51:25.480 Yeah.

00:51:25.800 Hey guys, I want more accountability.

00:51:28.420 Yeah.

00:51:28.840 Create it.

00:51:29.400 It is interesting because we'll see these guys come into the iron council and I'll see

00:51:33.180 guys come in and, and, and maybe we'll recognize them or their name and I'll see them on a

00:51:37.480 call and they'll introduce themselves or they'll share some insight on a Friday call.

00:51:41.160 I'm like, man, this guy's probably been part of the iron council for maybe a year or something.

00:51:44.520 He's like, oh yeah, I joined two weeks ago.

00:51:46.360 Yeah.

00:51:46.800 Has nothing to do with how long they've been a member of the iron council.

00:51:50.080 It has everything to do with somebody who's willing to dive in head first and putting

00:51:54.760 himself out there.

00:51:55.860 And man, if you're on a call with, what do we have on average?

00:51:58.440 Maybe 70, 80 guys on a call on Friday.

00:52:00.760 Yeah.

00:52:01.260 That's awkward.

00:52:01.960 I, because if I was on that call, I'd be like, I don't know if I've earned the right

00:52:05.740 to say anything.

00:52:06.640 And like, what are they going to think of what I say?

00:52:08.560 And yet we have these gentlemen who come into the iron council and they thrust themselves

00:52:13.200 into it.

00:52:13.840 And guess what?

00:52:14.620 They have a significantly better experience than somebody who's just there to take or

00:52:20.100 observe or whatever it is they're there to do.

00:52:21.860 Totally.

00:52:22.200 And what's great.

00:52:22.920 I love about this is guys find their voice because you get guys that would normally never

00:52:28.560 share.

00:52:29.020 Right.

00:52:29.300 They would even believe that they had nothing valuable to share.

00:52:33.640 And then they get in the IC and we kind of put this, put them in this scenario where

00:52:38.060 like, Hey, they have to, you need to share from day one.

00:52:40.700 You need to, yeah, you need to communicate.

00:52:42.340 And these guys in, we, I, we could rattle off a handful of names where these guys didn't

00:52:48.040 quote unquote know their voice or where it was, but through the iron council, they're

00:52:52.560 like, Oh man, I do have something valuable to share.

00:52:55.420 I think about like, I think about John Gilliland is one.

00:52:59.140 I mean, we could go down the list and all of these guys, I'm not going to say only through

00:53:03.720 the iron council.

00:53:04.680 Of course, there's a lot of work that happened.

00:53:06.060 But it's a platform that allowed them to like experiment and find their voice and start

00:53:10.940 sharing.

00:53:11.420 Yeah.

00:53:11.680 Yeah.

00:53:12.200 Let's take a couple more. 0.62

00:53:13.080 We're at almost an hour and I know we got to go here, uh, train in a little bit.

00:53:17.400 Get beat up by some jujitsu guys.

00:53:20.960 Yeah.

00:53:21.200 Chase Saxton.

00:53:22.360 What is your biggest accomplishment in your life and what drives you to conquer each day?

00:53:27.720 Biggest accomplishment.

00:53:28.480 It'd be easy to say like my family and I feel good about that.

00:53:31.580 I don't, I don't want to give that answer because that's what everybody would say.

00:53:34.460 Yeah.

00:53:34.860 But I'm really proud of what we're creating here with order of man.

00:53:37.940 Yeah.

00:53:38.380 And, and 15 million downloads.

00:53:40.420 Yeah.

00:53:40.700 We said two weeks ago, a couple of weeks ago.

00:53:43.260 Uh, I'm just so proud of what we've created here.

00:53:45.900 I'm, I'm proud of the movement.

00:53:47.360 I'm proud when, even when I come to, to immersion camp and guys are coming up to me,

00:53:52.680 they're like, man, a guy came up to me at lunch.

00:53:54.460 He's like, Hey, I drove up here from Philly.

00:53:56.080 It's nine hours.

00:53:56.680 I just wanted to thank you for being with me for half of the journey.

00:53:59.860 And I was like, wait, what do you mean?

00:54:01.000 He's like, Oh, I just listened to your podcast.

00:54:02.700 Yeah.

00:54:03.060 And to know that the message that we're sharing and the conversations that we're having are

00:54:07.480 impacting men positively and not just men.

00:54:11.060 Cause if I was just impacting your life, I would feel satisfied about that.

00:54:14.440 But now you're going out and you're engaging with your community.

00:54:17.860 You're engaging with teams that you coach.

00:54:19.860 You're engaging with your business and your clients and your colleagues and your family.

00:54:23.480 And this is now generational.

00:54:25.320 Yeah.

00:54:25.880 Right.

00:54:26.080 Because, and I'm not going to take credit necessarily for that, but the fact that we're

00:54:30.180 starting to, but there's influence there.

00:54:31.920 Influence for, that's a great word for influence, man.

00:54:35.100 I just, I'm so proud of that.

00:54:36.500 So I don't want to dismiss that.

00:54:37.780 I'm proud of the marriage that my wife and I have created.

00:54:41.060 And we've been together for 17 years, been married for 15 years, that we have four beautiful

00:54:46.800 kids that, that we're here in Maine and we're pursuing our dreams.

00:54:50.280 And we have some things, you know, even, even, even tangible things that we're excited about.

00:54:56.120 Like that's all great.

00:54:57.800 And that's, that's good.

00:54:59.040 And, and I'm not dismissing that, but I do want to just say, and I, and I think there's

00:55:04.480 this weird thing.

00:55:05.140 I'm like, people can't be proud of stuff because they're worried that it, that it's

00:55:08.920 going to come across as arrogant.

00:55:10.560 I don't think any rational human being listening to this podcast right now, hearing me say that

00:55:14.780 I'm proud of what we created is thinking that I'm being arrogant right now.

00:55:18.040 It's funny how that is.

00:55:19.020 And yet we feel like, Oh, I can't say I'm proud of stuff.

00:55:21.520 Cause what if people, no, be proud of what you've created.

00:55:24.540 Don't be overly prideful.

00:55:26.920 Don't let it get in the way of continued progress, but it's okay to be happy with something that

00:55:32.860 you've done or something that you've built or a movement that you've established or

00:55:36.960 a helpful hand that you've given.

00:55:40.140 It's okay to be excited about that and be proud of that.

00:55:42.980 And I genuinely am.

00:55:44.140 And, and people that are genuinely care for you, they are going to be excited for you.

00:55:49.120 Of course.

00:55:49.940 Yeah.

00:55:50.100 And that's, that's, we criticize that are people that probably don't genuinely care anyway.

00:55:54.380 I made a post on Instagram the other day.

00:55:56.040 We had Brendan Lilly over to our place for the main event and, uh, he was throwing the hat,

00:56:00.960 uh, the Tomahawks.

00:56:02.700 Yeah.

00:56:02.920 I don't know if you saw this post, but he like threw all three at the same time and

00:56:07.280 they all stuck in one hand.

00:56:09.460 Yeah.

00:56:09.640 He, he had three in one hand and he threw them all and they all stuck.

00:56:12.840 And my boys were watching and they like jumped out of their skin just watching.

00:56:18.880 He's like, yeah, he drove and they just got so excited about it.

00:56:22.320 And, and what it taught me is that, or at least shed some light on is that if you want

00:56:27.520 to know who your friends are, look at them and watch their reactions when you win.

00:56:33.180 Yeah.

00:56:33.920 If they're congratulating you and lifting you up and propping you up, I got another great

00:56:37.580 example from just yesterday.

00:56:39.120 I'll share that here in a second.

00:56:40.300 But if they're congratulating you and propping you up, you know, that somebody is a friend.

00:56:44.620 Yeah.

00:56:44.980 But if they're like kind of bothered by it, they're bothered by it or they're making

00:56:48.420 little underhanded snarky comments or being sarcastic, that's a red flag.

00:56:52.940 I got to be aware of this, this dude, cause this guy might be a, a, a wolf in sheep's

00:56:56.860 clothing.

00:56:57.440 Yeah.

00:56:57.900 Another great example is Joe parody.

00:57:00.220 You know, Joe, uh, that's Pete's father-in-law.

00:57:02.860 He went to worlds.

00:57:04.040 Um, he, he, he, he won.

00:57:06.120 Yeah.

00:57:06.660 For, for, for black belts, for his, his age category and all that.

00:57:10.440 And man, he came in last night.

00:57:13.220 Do you, Oh, you weren't here.

00:57:14.240 I don't think.

00:57:14.880 No, I got here in a little late.

00:57:16.800 So all of us are in the gym and they're, like I said, there's probably, I don't know, 200 plus

00:57:21.040 guys in there.

00:57:21.760 Yeah.

00:57:22.140 We're all in the gym.

00:57:22.900 This is in the big gym.

00:57:23.920 In the big gym.

00:57:24.480 Okay.

00:57:24.840 We're getting ready to train and Pete must've saw Joe coming or knew he was coming.

00:57:29.980 And so Joe came down and he had his gold medal.

00:57:32.460 He's wearing it.

00:57:33.360 Yeah.

00:57:33.660 Cause he wants to show.

00:57:34.600 He should be proud of that.

00:57:35.760 Hell yeah, he should.

00:57:36.600 Like, that's the point.

00:57:37.520 It's not arrogant.

00:57:38.700 It's I'm proud of what I've accomplished and you have helped me accomplish that.

00:57:42.020 And he accomplished it.

00:57:43.100 Yes, he did.

00:57:43.680 Like, so he walks into the gym and everybody just stops what they're doing and just starts

00:57:51.720 clapping all 200 plus guys.

00:57:54.020 And we clap for minutes and he, you could just see, he's like beaming with pride.

00:57:58.820 And he's like, he just that classic smile.

00:58:01.720 Like, if you know, Joe, you know exactly what I'm talking about.

00:58:04.140 And he's like, he just loved it.

00:58:06.940 And to me, I thought these are 200 friends.

00:58:10.520 Like, these aren't guys who are going to underhand, you know, make underhanded comments or try

00:58:17.580 to undermine or downplay what somebody has done.

00:58:21.640 Like these are 200, they're happy for him and they celebrate with him and they prop it

00:58:27.500 up, not try to undermine and tear it down.

00:58:30.020 Yeah, totally.

00:58:31.240 So his, his second portion of this question is what, what drives you to conquer each day?

00:58:37.420 It's an, it's a fascinating question.

00:58:39.280 Uh, and, and it's one that a lot of people ask.

00:58:44.300 I think they're looking for the, the, the tactic or is that what they're looking for?

00:58:49.440 You think it's kind of like, what is Ryan doing every day to help him conquer?

00:58:52.820 I think these are guys who may be to some degree, don't feel completely satisfied with

00:58:56.840 what they're conquering or how they're accomplishing, or maybe they're lacking some, some motivation

00:59:01.400 or inspiration in their life.

00:59:02.620 So they're looking for what that is.

00:59:04.320 Yeah.

00:59:04.720 I wish I could tell you it's this one thing.

00:59:06.940 And as soon as you find this one thing, it's what it is.

00:59:09.100 All I can say is that for me, what is my drive to conquer?

00:59:13.960 It's just, I want to be the best.

00:59:16.320 Yeah.

00:59:17.060 I, I just, I, anything I do, I just, I want to be the best when I'm training.

00:59:22.520 I want to be the best white belt and when I'm like, I want it. 0.99

00:59:27.240 And when I'm doing this podcast, I want to be the best.

00:59:30.080 I wish I could tell you it's because dot, dot, dot.

00:59:32.460 Yeah.

00:59:32.780 I don't know where it comes from.

00:59:33.840 Is it, is it you being tied to like being, I don't know what the term would be fully connected

00:59:39.400 to your vision?

00:59:40.080 Like that's, that's crystal clear in your mind.

00:59:42.820 And so that's what allows you to, I mean, that's certainly an advantage, but anything I

00:59:48.240 do, I just want to be the best.

00:59:49.900 If I'm going to like writing a book, for example, I want it, I want it to be, I wanted it when

00:59:55.340 I wrote that book last year, about a year and a half ago, that wasn't, I don't enjoy the

01:00:01.120 writing process.

01:00:01.840 It's not something I particularly got a lot of value from.

01:00:04.540 Yeah.

01:00:04.860 I could see that.

01:00:05.500 But I wanted it to be the best and I feel pretty proud of what we accomplished in spite

01:00:11.100 of the fact that it wasn't a particularly enjoyable experience for me.

01:00:14.520 Yeah.

01:00:15.440 If I'm picking up archery, I want to be the best and I want to be the student.

01:00:19.900 And I want to learn all the little nuances and the intricacies.

01:00:23.120 And when I'm watching Jocko give instruction, I'm like, Oh wait, so he twisted his wrist

01:00:28.040 this way.

01:00:29.000 And that was a little nuance that most people wouldn't catch.

01:00:31.760 And I, I try to catch those things because I just, I want to be the best.

01:00:36.620 I don't know if it's my personality.

01:00:38.740 I don't know if it's potentially a chip on my shoulder that I feel like I have something

01:00:43.320 to prove to myself.

01:00:44.460 I don't know what it is, but I just can't fathom ever doing anything where I'm like,

01:00:49.720 I'm okay.

01:00:50.660 If it's kind of just like mediocre.

01:00:52.320 Yeah.

01:00:52.940 Well, I'm wondering if, if some of that has to do with you being present in the moment,

01:00:58.060 because I don't think that's possible, right?

01:00:59.980 I don't think it's possible for you to be the best student at the time.

01:01:03.840 Um, if you're not fully present in that moment, it's not, it's not possible for you to be

01:01:09.120 the best at archery practice today if you weren't fully present.

01:01:13.400 And, and maybe that allows you to just super narrow laser focus in the moment.

01:01:19.480 And that, and, and as we were talking about earlier, that allows you to be way more productive

01:01:23.360 than you would normally, right?

01:01:24.720 You're fully engulfed where I think everyone else is just, well, I think the opposite of

01:01:29.800 being present is a little bit of like, just trying not to drown, right?

01:01:33.060 It's like, Oh, I got so much.

01:01:34.200 I just, I'm trying to juggle.

01:01:35.720 Right.

01:01:36.140 And it's not like fully engulfed in the, in the moment.

01:01:38.660 Maybe, maybe I, I just, yeah, I think you're on the right track.

01:01:42.040 I, I, I wish I could give a great answer because it is something that gets brought up quite a

01:01:46.400 bit.

01:01:46.620 And I, and I have a level of empathy for guys who are in that boat.

01:01:49.980 I, I guess I have been there where I felt overwhelmed or deflated in my life.

01:01:55.560 Um, and I, I, I think it's just a choice.

01:01:59.760 Yeah.

01:02:00.520 So who is this?

01:02:01.440 Who's asking this?

01:02:02.040 Uh, Chase Saxton.

01:02:04.200 So Chase, you have a choice to make and the choice is, are you going to be the best or

01:02:11.100 are you just going to be mediocre and complacent?

01:02:13.240 Yeah.

01:02:13.900 And the best at whatever it is that you're doing today.

01:02:16.560 And it's, and, and look, even like, let's take jujitsu just because we're here.

01:02:19.900 I'm not saying I'm going to be the best jujitsu practitioner that ever existed.

01:02:24.180 That's not what I'm saying.

01:02:25.100 Yeah.

01:02:25.720 I'm saying that when I go to our next class, I am going to be the best student that I possibly

01:02:33.040 can be.

01:02:33.860 Yeah.

01:02:34.300 When I'm, when I'm training technique, I'm going to train it the best that I possibly

01:02:40.220 can.

01:02:40.620 I'm not going to take it lightly.

01:02:42.280 I'm not going to, uh, not look at all the little nuances.

01:02:46.200 Like I'm going to be the best at that particular thing.

01:02:49.200 When I come in here and I set up this podcast studio, you'll notice right here.

01:02:53.460 If you're watching the video, you can see these kids, these little screws right here. 1.00

01:02:56.160 Yeah.

01:02:56.580 Those really bother me because they're actually in the screen on the video and I, and I can

01:03:02.540 see them and they're bothering me because that's something that I could have probably

01:03:07.220 just found a screwdriver and got those out of there.

01:03:09.940 Like a little bit better.

01:03:11.280 And it would have just, dude, nobody's, that's not going to bother anybody except for me.

01:03:16.060 Yeah.

01:03:16.580 And that's enough.

01:03:17.580 Like, so I look at all, I don't, I don't know.

01:03:20.900 I feel like I'm rambling at this point, but I think you understand.

01:03:23.380 Totally.

01:03:23.720 I want to be the best.

01:03:24.940 If you don't want me to add in this idea, cause when I think about guys in this conversation,

01:03:29.620 I, I honestly think that most people think that it is their circumstance, which determines

01:03:35.140 if they can do their best today.

01:03:36.900 Like if when, you know, you use the analogy of like, Oh, when I think about my past and

01:03:40.760 deflated, or, you know, when I was trying to multitask or I think a lot of that time,

01:03:44.880 those guys think because of their circumstance, they can't be the best, right?

01:03:51.520 They can't be happy.

01:03:53.080 They can't be these things because their circumstances don't allow them to be right.

01:03:57.760 And, and I, and we talked about this in the main event.

01:04:00.080 And I, I think we have this completely backwards where we feel circumstances drive who you are

01:04:05.980 as a man or who you choose to be versus, uh, and it's be, do, have, right.

01:04:11.140 Where we be that way.

01:04:12.600 We do the necessary actions and then you have the results.

01:04:16.260 Then you're happy.

01:04:17.080 Then you do these things.

01:04:17.860 And it's not by circumstance.

01:04:19.180 And in fact, let's be honest, look at all the men that you've interviewed on Tuesdays.

01:04:23.020 Some of the most profound individuals, it wasn't their circumstance that made them amazing.

01:04:28.400 It was who they chose to be in spite of those circumstances.

01:04:32.940 I look at, um, one of my favorite scenes in a movie is in a Knight's Tale.

01:04:39.180 Do you remember that?

01:04:40.220 Yeah.

01:04:40.380 I think it's called a Knight's Tale with Heath Ledger.

01:04:42.120 Yeah.

01:04:42.680 Yeah.

01:04:43.000 Where he's talking with his dad and he's this little kid and he's standing on this barrel

01:04:47.180 or something.

01:04:47.700 Yeah.

01:04:47.880 Yeah.

01:04:48.040 Seeing the Knights come by.

01:04:49.160 Watching the Knights walk by.

01:04:49.900 Yeah.

01:04:50.080 And, and his dad's like something about changing the stars or whatever.

01:04:54.520 And the guy next to him is like, you can't change the stars or whatever.

01:04:58.100 And, and his dad's like, if you really want to, if you really want that to happen, then

01:05:04.600 yes, you can change your stars.

01:05:06.420 Meaning you can change your quote unquote fate.

01:05:09.020 Yeah.

01:05:09.480 You have your circumstances.

01:05:11.140 You have ultimate control over that.

01:05:13.520 That little scene right there has stuck with me for so long.

01:05:16.820 And I think it illustrates perfectly what you're talking about now is that your circumstances

01:05:21.260 may be less than ideal.

01:05:22.920 Yep.

01:05:24.860 Okay.

01:05:26.180 And decide to make the best of it.

01:05:29.620 If you're, if you're sweeping floors at McDonald's and not putting that down and that's what you're

01:05:34.580 doing right now, then be the best McDonald's floor sweeper that ever existed in the history

01:05:40.680 of sweeping floors at McDonald's.

01:05:42.800 And that communicated well with their fellow employees.

01:05:46.840 Lifted them up.

01:05:48.080 Made them love their jobs because you were there.

01:05:50.700 Like it's far more than even just the sweeping.

01:05:53.360 Of course.

01:05:53.580 It's just you showing up.

01:05:54.820 Have you ever seen those guys who they're out on the road and this would be like the

01:05:58.280 most miserable job ever to me.

01:05:59.940 They're out on the road and they have these big signs and they're advertising for businesses.

01:06:04.420 Yeah.

01:06:04.880 You know what I'm talking about?

01:06:05.800 Spinning around or whatever.

01:06:06.860 And some of them are like, just down there. 0.99

01:06:09.420 This sucks. 1.00

01:06:10.920 Hate my life. 1.00

01:06:11.820 Hate my job.

01:06:12.520 And then you'll go a block and you'll see the guy and he's like flipping it around and

01:06:16.160 like doing handstands.

01:06:17.180 Doing ninja moves.

01:06:18.000 Behind his back.

01:06:19.340 Be that guy.

01:06:20.660 Yeah.

01:06:21.340 Don't be the bum who's sitting there feeling sorry for himself and wishing his life was

01:06:26.040 different.

01:06:26.900 Be the guy who creates it.

01:06:28.700 Who's doing this.

01:06:29.540 They're doing the same thing.

01:06:30.860 And one's getting, one's getting smiles and appreciation by people driving. 1.00

01:06:34.360 The other one's like, oh, that poor sucker. 0.98

01:06:35.960 He's changing his stars. 0.99

01:06:37.740 Yeah.

01:06:38.060 The other guy has resigned to his current life.

01:06:41.940 The guy who's flipping the sign is changing his stars.

01:06:44.700 Yeah.

01:06:45.400 That's great.

01:06:46.320 All right.

01:06:46.680 How are we doing here?

01:06:47.440 Good, man.

01:06:47.940 Take another one.

01:06:48.240 Let's take one more and then let's go train.

01:06:50.080 All right.

01:06:52.500 Yeah.

01:06:53.100 Anthony LeConte.

01:06:54.880 Firearm safety and training.

01:06:56.060 Maybe some recommendations around that space.

01:06:58.180 I'm not going to get into that right now.

01:06:59.780 I'm probably not the most qualified to give the best advice.

01:07:02.540 I have a limited experience in that, but I do have some podcast guests coming up on this

01:07:09.520 very specific topic.

01:07:10.600 Sweet.

01:07:11.040 So stay tuned there, Anthony.

01:07:12.680 All right.

01:07:12.920 Alex Selzman.

01:07:13.940 What are your top tips for starting a business or a movement?

01:07:17.740 I can't remember.

01:07:18.680 You addressed this last week.

01:07:19.720 I think I would say one thing we're going to do and Kip, you and I talked about this

01:07:23.920 last night.

01:07:24.500 It must've been like 1am and I was half asleep, I think at this point, but we're going to start

01:07:28.820 scrubbing these a little bit.

01:07:30.780 So we're not like continuing to answer the same questions.

01:07:33.440 So this is Alex.

01:07:34.900 Yeah.

01:07:35.380 Alex, go back and listen to last week's podcast, Friday Field Notes specifically, because I

01:07:41.000 talk about, I think I went through three specific strategies that you can use in your

01:07:46.780 life in order to grow a movement, rally people around a cause, help yourself stand out in

01:07:53.660 a crowded marketplace.

01:07:54.680 I get very, very specific into that.

01:07:56.600 And you, and this is tribe builder as well.

01:07:58.700 Well, we do that.

01:07:59.360 Yeah, we do, we do have a course.

01:08:00.800 I don't have a timeline on that.

01:08:02.920 Frankly, I do that when I feel like it and I don't feel like it right now.

01:08:06.520 So go back and listen to that one.

01:08:08.660 So here's, here's a great question I think to wrap up on.

01:08:10.740 So Luke Watts, I find it easy to use failure or loss as a learning experience, but it is

01:08:15.720 harder to use victories this way.

01:08:17.780 What advice can you give about using victories as a way to move forward as well?

01:08:21.560 Well, you're going, uh, we're going to day after action review.

01:08:25.120 He says, you're going to go with a day, uh, the day after action review.

01:08:29.980 Aren't you?

01:08:31.180 It's what it is.

01:08:32.140 You already know the answer.

01:08:34.260 It's you, look, you said it's not hard to do it in loss.

01:08:37.280 That's why, because you're reviewing it and you don't want to be miserable.

01:08:41.780 That's why you're doing that.

01:08:43.180 Yeah.

01:08:43.380 You don't want to lose.

01:08:44.380 The loss motivates you to like step it up.

01:08:46.500 Right.

01:08:46.700 So just take a win as, okay, well, I, I'm happy that I won, but it wasn't good enough.

01:08:53.720 All right.

01:08:54.300 I could even do it better next time.

01:08:56.340 So, so kind of frame it in the same thing.

01:08:58.660 And then like he says, do your after action review.

01:09:01.760 Okay.

01:09:02.720 Well, let's just take jujitsu again because we're here.

01:09:05.020 Yeah.

01:09:05.340 So let's say I submit somebody, which doesn't happen all that often.

01:09:09.660 That's true.

01:09:10.240 But let's say I do.

01:09:12.340 Okay.

01:09:12.740 I catch you in something.

01:09:14.060 I submit you and I feel good about that.

01:09:16.700 If I just pat myself on the back and then go back to training.

01:09:19.920 Yeah.

01:09:20.440 That was a wasted opportunity.

01:09:23.520 I should be asking myself, okay, why did that work?

01:09:27.940 Yeah.

01:09:28.740 What is it that I did that I caught you or what were the little nuances that are easy to

01:09:34.060 overlook or how did I set that up or how to get into that position?

01:09:37.760 Exactly.

01:09:38.180 Because then you start looking at that and breaking that down and then you can recreate it.

01:09:42.960 The whole idea about anything is wrecked is to recreate the process.

01:09:48.280 It winning is not enough.

01:09:49.880 You need to know why you won so that you can do it the next time.

01:09:54.160 Totally.

01:09:55.360 Totally.

01:09:55.920 It's not complicated.

01:09:57.360 I think you just frame it.

01:09:59.160 The same as loss.

01:10:00.180 I lost.

01:10:01.000 I don't want to experience that again.

01:10:03.080 So what can I do?

01:10:04.740 Or on the other side of the spectrum, I won.

01:10:07.200 I want to continue to experience that and I don't want to lose.

01:10:10.760 So what can I do or what variables and factors went into the win that I can replicate next time?

01:10:17.680 That was really hard to catch that.

01:10:19.180 I barely got him or I use tons of energy getting into it.

01:10:23.040 How do I make that more simplistic or how do I get into that weird position again?

01:10:26.940 Because that was, I'm not even sure how we got there.

01:10:29.960 I would also say, ask people who maybe evaluated that or further down the path.

01:10:35.360 So last night I was rolling and I caught somebody in a submission and there was a brown belt watching. 1.00

01:10:40.740 And so we were rolling and I felt good about it because I submitted the guy, right?

01:10:45.260 Yeah.

01:10:45.420 And so I went and had lunch or whatever dinner and then I came back and, and, and Sean came up and he's like, Hey, can I give you a few pointers?

01:10:52.020 Awesome.

01:10:52.640 This is a perfect example of this.

01:10:54.100 And I was like, yeah, you're like, I don't need any pointer.

01:10:56.840 I submitted the guy.

01:10:57.700 I was like, what do you mean?

01:10:59.660 But I was like, yeah, I would love that.

01:11:01.360 He's like, Hey, really good job here.

01:11:02.860 He pointed out some things that, that I did well.

01:11:04.980 And he's like, do this, like just try this next time.

01:11:09.780 And that will tighten up this choke or that, you know, he gave me, I'm not going to get into the specifics, but yeah.

01:11:14.080 Um, cause I don't want to give it away any secrets to you, especially.

01:11:18.380 And so anyways, he gave me a few pointers and tightened up my game.

01:11:22.100 I won, but I still, I, there's still something to tighten my game up.

01:11:25.680 Yeah.

01:11:26.000 Right.

01:11:26.260 So that's a perfect example.

01:11:27.740 All right.

01:11:28.200 Should we wrap it up?

01:11:29.100 Yes, sir.

01:11:29.740 Okay.

01:11:29.920 Take us home.

01:11:30.720 Yep.

01:11:31.040 So guys, uh, as always, you can submit your questions.

01:11:34.040 Uh, one of two ways, uh, by joining us in the iron council, our exclusive brotherhood to

01:11:38.800 learn more about the IC, you can go to order of man.com slash iron council, or of course

01:11:44.380 our Facebook group, facebook.com slash group slash order of man.

01:11:48.480 Um, I feel like we say this every time, but man, it's, this fight's important.

01:11:53.780 It is important guys.

01:11:54.720 We're doing this.

01:11:55.480 Share the message.

01:11:56.140 I was talking to Dom actually earlier today.

01:11:57.860 I love this.

01:11:58.620 And he said, Oh man, there's a, there's a few podcasts that he is fully aware of that

01:12:04.480 he uses to introduce people to the order of man.

01:12:09.480 Yeah.

01:12:09.800 So he's like, Oh, listen to this.

01:12:11.120 I need to know which ones those are.

01:12:12.380 Yeah.

01:12:12.660 You should ask him.

01:12:13.500 I'll ask him.

01:12:14.000 Yeah.

01:12:14.280 But that's a great idea, right?

01:12:16.020 It's like, Hey, you, you, there's a one particular message that resonates with you.

01:12:21.140 Copy that link.

01:12:22.020 Sure.

01:12:22.440 Share that with people.

01:12:23.240 They don't need to subscribe to the podcast initially.

01:12:24.960 Like let them listen to that episode, see if there's some interest there.

01:12:27.680 And, and share that message.

01:12:29.700 Um, and then of course you can go to store.orderofman.com to, to get your guys to swag.

01:12:34.780 And of course, like this hat.

01:12:35.940 Yeah.

01:12:36.180 I both have these hats.

01:12:37.800 Uh, and I'm not talking, and I'm not tucking my ears.

01:12:40.200 I'm not.

01:12:40.760 Did you see that guy who is like, yeah, I think you are.

01:12:43.880 Did you see that guy?

01:12:44.860 He's like, I don't trust a man who tucks his ears and tucked into his hat. 0.95

01:12:48.220 I'm like, well, yeah.

01:12:49.280 Just because you don't know who you're, who you're talking to.

01:12:52.300 Cause he would choke.

01:12:53.280 Come to origin, bro.

01:12:54.940 Yeah.

01:12:55.140 I'll tuck your ears.

01:12:56.060 Yeah.

01:12:56.240 Say that to his face.

01:12:57.460 Yeah.

01:12:58.040 So, but you can follow Mr. Mickler on Instagram and Twitter at Ryan Mickler.

01:13:03.340 Yes, sir.

01:13:03.960 All right, guys, we'll let you get going again.

01:13:05.880 Also too, if you're listening to this audio on iTunes or Stitcher or wherever you're doing

01:13:09.820 the podcast thing, great.

01:13:10.860 No problem.

01:13:11.720 Make sure you check us out at YouTube because we've got the camera today.

01:13:16.160 Uh, we're going to be doing a lot more video, uh, for our podcast, not only these episodes,

01:13:20.280 but also our interviews.

01:13:21.460 So head to, I believe it's youtube.com slash order of men, check it out, subscribe.

01:13:26.640 And, uh, you get to see our beautiful faces.

01:13:29.440 Another great way to share as well.

01:13:31.140 True.

01:13:31.620 Yeah.

01:13:32.200 Um, main event.

01:13:34.140 Do you have those dates handy?

01:13:35.600 Yeah.

01:13:35.820 Uh, the dates are the 29th through the 31st of May, 2020, uh, registration is open.

01:13:42.660 It's only going to be open for a very short period of time because I don't think I told

01:13:46.620 you this.

01:13:46.960 We're like 40% sold out on the thing already between alumni and iron council members.

01:13:51.000 Yeah.

01:13:51.220 So if you had to, again, order of man.com slash main event, you can lock in your spot and

01:13:57.500 you got plenty of time to do it.

01:13:59.060 Not well, I should say plenty of time to prepare for it.

01:14:01.920 You don't have a whole lot of time to get registered.

01:14:03.640 Yeah.

01:14:03.720 We're going to register now, get your flights and everything later.

01:14:06.480 We got nine months before that's up.

01:14:08.100 Cool.

01:14:08.380 All right, guys, go out there, take action, become the man you are meant to be.

01:14:11.640 Thank you for listening to the order of man podcast.

01:14:14.480 You're ready to take charge of your life and be more of the man you were meant to be.

01:14:18.500 We invite you to join the order at order of man.com.

Order of Man - August 28, 2019

Honoring the Fallen, the Dark Side of Self-Help, and Combating Negativity ｜ ASK ME ANYTHING

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