Order of Man - How a Man Builds Boundaries

00:00:00.000 You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest, embrace your fears, and boldly chart

00:00:04.920 your own path. When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time, every time.

00:00:10.260 You are not easily deterred or defeated, rugged, resilient, strong. This is your life. This is who

00:00:16.920 you are. This is who you will become. At the end of the day, and after all is said and done,

00:00:22.380 you can call yourself a man. Gentlemen, what is going on today? My name is Ryan Michler.

00:00:27.240 I'm your host and the founder of the Order of Man podcast and movement. Welcome here today.

00:00:32.260 Guys, this is a podcast about helping all of us, myself included, become better men. So I don't

00:00:37.520 care if you're a man at the height of his success in whatever metric you want to look at or at the

00:00:44.460 bottom of the totem pole. It really doesn't matter to me. Wherever you are in life, it's my goal to

00:00:48.920 bring you conversations and tools and resources to help you level up your life, to help you achieve

00:00:54.800 new levels of success, to help you sustain what you currently have, and also to help dig yourself

00:00:59.920 out of the pit of despair that you may find yourself in. Lord knows I found myself in each

00:01:05.720 one of those positions and I need the help just as much as you guys do, which is why we interview

00:01:11.780 some amazing, amazing men, extract their knowledge, extract their wisdom, and deliver that to you,

00:01:17.480 hopefully in a way that allows you to apply it in your life. I've got a really important discussion

00:01:22.960 on boundaries today, why they're important, and how a man builds those boundaries to ensure

00:01:29.360 he has healthy relationships with himself, with his friends, his colleagues, his co-workers,

00:01:33.500 his family members, and everybody is served by the boundaries he builds. Before I get into that,

00:01:38.340 I want to let you know that we have a free course available to you called 30 Days to Battle

00:01:43.140 Ready. 30 Days to Battle Ready. And when you sign up, again, it's free. When you sign up,

00:01:48.900 you're going to get access to a series of emails over the next 30 days that are going to help you

00:01:54.220 create vision for yourself in what it is you want to accomplish the rest of the year, 2023.

00:02:00.340 It's going to help you identify tactics, four key tactics that you can focus on each and every day

00:02:05.620 to accomplish your most important goals and objectives. And then last, to help you develop

00:02:12.580 checkpoints along the way to ensure that you're on the right path. And if you're not, then you can adjust

00:02:16.840 quickly and efficiently and move forward with confidence, knowing that you're on the right

00:02:21.560 path to success. So you can check that out at orderofman.com slash battle ready, orderofman.com

00:02:27.500 slash battle ready. And the first assignment is to reach out to me with your biggest struggle.

00:02:32.920 And then I'm going to respond back to you and we'll get the thing started. Again,

00:02:37.280 orderofman.com slash battle ready. All right, guys, let's talk about boundaries. I talked about this

00:02:41.600 because, or I want to talk about this because this is something that's important in my own life.

00:02:46.840 As I've established healthy boundaries, I always have better relationships with people.

00:02:51.000 If I let people walk all over my boundaries or my beliefs or my values, or even things that I

00:02:57.280 haven't clearly articulated or communicated, I know that I ended up being frustrated. The people I want

00:03:02.260 to have relationships with end up being frustrated and it's not good. A lot of nice guys, a lot of you

00:03:07.980 listening to this podcast are probably quote unquote, recovering nice guys. If you are allowing other

00:03:14.340 people to trample all over your beliefs, your ideas, your thoughts, your goals, your dreams,

00:03:19.380 your desires, or what you want, then needless to say, it's not going to be a fulfilling experience

00:03:24.840 for you in that relationship. So I don't care if it's a marriage, relationships with your children,

00:03:31.780 relationships with colleagues and coworkers or friends, having clear set, clearly communicated

00:03:37.960 boundaries is crucial for any healthy and thriving relationships. So let's talk about 10 points that

00:03:42.860 I've identified that are going to help you as a man develop and make more powerful boundaries.

00:03:49.080 And of course, we'll talk about how to communicate them as well. Number one is you have to prove your

00:03:53.300 worth, prove your worth. Now in this one, I put in parentheses to yourself, right? We're not trying

00:03:59.500 to prove ourselves to anybody else. We don't need anybody's validation. We don't need to prove what

00:04:05.180 we're trying to do to other people. But what we ought to be considering is, do we know that we're

00:04:10.900 valuable? Do we know that we have value to add in our relationships or in the marketplace? And the

00:04:18.560 more that you prove your worth to yourself, the more capable you are of communicating boundaries

00:04:25.600 that frankly are difficult to communicate, especially if you've never done this before.

00:04:30.120 But if you know you're valuable, if you know you have worth, if you know that you're important,

00:04:34.860 if you know that at work, you're an important integral part of that work environment or in

00:04:39.920 your community, you're important part of the community or in a relationship that you're

00:04:43.320 important as a husband or a father, then you're going to value your time. You're going to value

00:04:49.420 your energy. You're going to value your efforts and you're not going to carelessly and frivolously

00:04:54.260 toss those things to people who don't frankly deserve all of that time, resource, energy,

00:04:59.520 etc. And you do that by developing confidence and you develop confidence by proving to yourself that

00:05:05.840 you can keep your commitments. So if you say to yourself, I'm going to get up in the morning

00:05:09.940 and I'm not going to hit the snooze and I'm going to go work out. And that's exactly what you do.

00:05:14.900 You are proving that you are valuable, not to anybody else. Nobody else might even see it

00:05:19.540 or acknowledge it, but you will know that you did it. If on the other hand, like I did this morning,

00:05:24.780 but it's disclaimer out there that you said you're going to work out and you get up and you don't go

00:05:29.500 do it, then you're disproving your worth and you're ruining credibility with the most important

00:05:34.400 person, which is yourself. And I did that this morning. I'm not above doing that. I just want

00:05:39.640 to let you know and be honest with you that I don't have this stuff figured out. I don't have

00:05:44.140 a hundred percent on this. Nobody does. And if they tell you they do, they're lying. So be wary of that.

00:05:49.960 But the most important thing is that if you make commitments to yourself, if you make promises,

00:05:54.320 if you make goals, if you have desires and dreams and hopes and all of these other things,

00:05:58.260 then prove to yourself that you're worthy by accomplishing those things or at a minimum

00:06:03.620 setting out to accomplish those things and being a man of your word. Number two, and these aren't in

00:06:09.180 any order, but you really ought to examine your values. What is it that you value? Do you value

00:06:14.180 honesty? Do you value integrity? Do you value hard work? Do you value loyalty and commitment and

00:06:21.520 sacrifice? These are things that I personally value. What is important to you? Is your time valuable to

00:06:28.240 you? I mean, how many times do we tell ourselves, oh, my time is so important. It's so important.

00:06:33.040 Well, cool. Well, show me your calendar. And you look at a man's calendar and he's not proving that

00:06:39.080 his time is valuable. He's wasting time. He's dinking around. He's chasing meaningless pursuits.

00:06:45.320 He isn't efficient with how he manages a schedule. And so he says his time is important. He says he

00:06:50.480 values his time, but he really doesn't. Or he says that his family's important. And this is something,

00:06:55.960 this is a trap that I fell into. I believed and said that my family's important. But if you were

00:07:00.440 to look at what I did, my behavior a year, two, three years ago, it wasn't as important as I had

00:07:07.420 made out in my mind. And so we need to examine not only our values, but do our actions align with our

00:07:13.320 values? And if they don't, then we have room for improvement. I mean, it's really unfortunate and I'm

00:07:19.480 not pointing fingers. I'm looking at the man in the mirror here on this one. It's really unfortunate that

00:07:24.260 we tell ourselves that we value certain things, but our actions aren't in alignment with those

00:07:29.120 values. And it's very easy to deceive ourselves and say, no, my family is important. No, my work

00:07:34.180 is important. No, my health is important. No, the relationships I have with my friends are

00:07:38.240 important. And then to come to the realization that your actions don't measure up, they don't stack

00:07:44.100 up. So it's only a value to you if you're actively honoring the value that you have. So for

00:07:50.960 example, if you tell yourself that you value honesty and yet you aren't honest with yourself

00:07:57.060 or other people, you're lying and making up excuses and rationalizing and justifying your

00:08:02.140 behavior, maybe not disclosing all of the information that somebody needs to hear, then you don't actually

00:08:08.220 value honesty. You like the idea of honesty. You think it's something that's important, but you don't

00:08:13.840 value it. Because what if you really valued it? Like what if you bought a brand new car today? You went out

00:08:19.380 and you spent 80 grand on the latest truck, the new GMC pickup. You spent 80 grand on this thing.

00:08:27.360 And what would you do with it? Well, you'd get the oil changed. You'd make sure the kids don't bring

00:08:33.440 their McDonald's Happy Meal in there. You'd make sure you get the thing washed. You might consider

00:08:38.000 upgrading the tires or the wheels or shipping the thing so it's more efficient or faster or has more

00:08:45.200 torque or horsepower, right? You would drive it in a way that shows that you care about it. You would

00:08:52.700 invest in it is the point that I'm making because you value it. And that's how we know it's a true

00:08:57.540 value versus just lip service. Number three, you need to, when you're establishing boundaries with

00:09:03.600 other people, you need to discard the outcome. Meaning that people are going to respond to your

00:09:09.580 boundaries, especially if you're a man who's never set boundaries before, people are going to respond

00:09:14.620 to those boundaries in less than favorable ways at times, because it might represent a threat to the

00:09:21.760 current status quo for them. Maybe they like the way things are. Maybe the fact that your kids, as a

00:09:27.580 small example, don't have rules in place. Maybe they like that. And all of a sudden here comes dad who

00:09:34.440 says, Hey, we're going to have rules for the amount of time you spend on electronics, or we're going to have

00:09:39.300 rules for the way that you communicate with me, or we're going to have rules with how you spend time

00:09:44.840 with your friends. Of course, they're not going to like that. Why would they like that? Even with

00:09:51.280 your own, your own spouse, your own wife, if you start communicating a boundary about the way that you

00:09:56.180 will be spoken to, she's not going to like that because she's used to speaking to you in a certain

00:10:01.520 way. And that's her comfort zone. And now all of a sudden you're saying to her, Hey, you're not

00:10:06.620 going to treat me like that anymore. Or you're not going to talk to me like that. Or here's how

00:10:10.400 you can communicate with me. That's a threat. Or if you're at work and you're used to an open door

00:10:17.100 policy, and all of a sudden you tell your employees, Hey, my door is not open 100% of the time. It's

00:10:23.700 open on Tuesday and Wednesday from noon to five, but the rest of the time I'm not available. They're not

00:10:29.280 going to like that. So this is why it's so important that you, when you build boundaries,

00:10:34.020 that you discard the outcome. And what I mean by that is acknowledge and recognize that people

00:10:40.460 aren't always going to like the way that you do it. But if you're constantly determining what your

00:10:44.920 boundaries are, or at least what you're willing to communicate based on the way other people feel

00:10:49.700 about it, guess what? Forget about the boundaries conversation. Cause you're not going to do any of

00:10:55.080 that because it's always a threat every time you enact a new boundary and, and more so even when

00:11:01.480 you enforce it. Number four, grow your balls. I mean, just have some courage, have some spine,

00:11:07.620 have some testicular fortitude, as I've often called it in the past. It's not comfortable.

00:11:12.480 It's a threat to people. It's an uncomfortable conversation. It goes against everything that

00:11:18.860 people pleasers believe that nice guys want to do. And there's so many of us, myself included,

00:11:23.900 who are nice guys that have a very difficult time communicating and expecting that people honor

00:11:30.300 the way that you want to be treated in the way that you want others to show up. But it just takes

00:11:35.600 courage. It takes you making a decision that the boundaries I enforce and set up are going to

00:11:40.460 create more efficiency, more time, more joy, more fulfillment for me, more clarity for other people

00:11:46.140 I'm trying to serve, more direction and discipline and focus for the people that I care about.

00:11:50.900 And therefore, as uncomfortable as the conversation may be, I'm going to have it. I'm

00:11:58.100 going to do it. I'm going to uphold these things. And one great way to grow your balls is to do

00:12:06.720 difficult things. When's the last time you did something difficult, physically, mentally, or

00:12:12.220 emotionally? Maybe there was a race that you wanted to participate in. That's the physical realm.

00:12:16.940 Maybe there's a difficult conversation that you want to have with somebody that you know is not

00:12:22.040 going to be good. I had two really powerful conversations with my two oldest sons yesterday.

00:12:26.520 I didn't want to have those conversations. They were uncomfortable. They were awkward. They were

00:12:31.020 challenging for me and for them. And yet I knew it was really important. And that helped me develop

00:12:38.020 and build some emotional resilience. I hope it did serve them as well. The last component I said is

00:12:42.880 mentally. When's the last time you stimulated your mind in a positive way, read a challenging book,

00:12:49.080 listened to a podcast that presented an idea that you aren't comfortable with or that you

00:12:54.640 adamantly or vehemently disagree with? When's the last time you pushed yourself in the intellectual

00:13:00.080 realm, took a new course, took a new program, got a new certification, secured a new credential or

00:13:07.500 degree. These are all mentally stimulating tasks, things that you can do to develop and build mental

00:13:14.600 fortitude. But guys, we've got to grow our balls. Number five, again, these are not in any order.

00:13:21.520 As you're communicating boundaries, you need to be firm in those boundaries, but you can also be fair.

00:13:27.200 And it's important to know that both can exist. Sometimes nice guys have a tendency of tap dancing,

00:13:33.440 tiptoeing into asshole territory. And that's not a bad thing because they don't really know where the

00:13:39.940 line is, especially again, if they're recovering nice guys, they don't know what is assertive versus

00:13:44.500 what is being a dick. Okay. But you need to learn to be fair with other people. I'm not saying that

00:13:52.220 just because you've communicated a boundary or identified one and now want to tell other people

00:13:56.360 what it is, that gives you a permission slip to be a dick to everybody around you. No, people still

00:14:01.280 have feelings. People still have their own thoughts. You've got to understand with a level of empathy

00:14:06.360 that what you're communicating is going to be a challenge to the status quo for people. And so

00:14:10.620 we can do this softly. And this is something we don't often talk about as men. We don't talk about

00:14:15.820 the softer side of being a man. I had a really, really interesting discussion with John Lovell,

00:14:20.780 a good friend of mine and founder of Warrior Poet Society a couple of weeks ago.

00:14:24.280 And he talked about a man being strong and physically fit and resolute, but also kind

00:14:32.820 and nurturing and empathetic and understanding. And so we can be firm in our convictions and we can

00:14:40.000 know exactly what we want. We can know how we want to be treated and how we want to be communicated

00:14:44.020 with. But also if we're trying to lead people, then it's important that we do it with a level of

00:14:48.160 empathy. What does that person need to hear from us? What struggles might they have with the

00:14:53.120 boundary we're trying to enact? And how can we bring that up in a way that lets them know that

00:14:58.140 we actually care about them? Because sometimes these boundaries conversations is like, it seems

00:15:03.460 like it's all about us. What about me, me, me, me, me? What do I need? What do I want people to do?

00:15:08.420 But also it's about our people. It's about our children, your spouse, colleagues, your coworkers,

00:15:13.820 your friends, et cetera. And so we need to learn how to do that firmly, but also fairly with a level of

00:15:19.960 empathy. Number six, I believe I'm on, is building your sovereignty. And this goes into the conversation

00:15:28.200 about discarding the outcome. But if you build your emotional, mental, spiritual, financial,

00:15:35.120 physical sovereignty, then you're less reliant on other people. So for example, if I'm financially

00:15:41.480 set and I don't have a bunch of bills looming over my head and I don't have a bunch of worries

00:15:46.460 about my income or where the money is going to come from to put food on the table or a roof over

00:15:51.420 my head, I'm less likely to compromise in my boundaries, right? Let's say you have at work,

00:15:56.060 hey, I'm an honest person with integrity. And then your boss comes to you and asks you to do something

00:16:01.420 that's not aligned with your integrity. But let's also say that you're broke, you're financially

00:16:07.560 in destitute, you've got debt up to your eyeballs. Are you more or less likely to compromise

00:16:14.700 your boundaries and your values in that moment? Of course, you're less likely because you have bills

00:16:21.020 to get paid. You have a mortgage, you have food you need to put on your kids' table. You have a roof

00:16:26.860 you need to put over their head. They just signed up for football and you got to pay their enrollment

00:16:30.400 fee for football and buy them new pads. You've got to do all of those things. And if you're not

00:16:35.280 financially set in this circumstance, then you're going to compromise your values because you care more

00:16:39.780 about making sure that your kids get or that you have food on the table than you do about your

00:16:43.260 values. And I don't think that's entirely wrong. But what if you didn't have to make that decision?

00:16:48.420 What if you were already financially free? What if the income was rolling in? What if you already

00:16:52.880 paid off all your debt? And now somebody comes to you and asks you to compromise your integrity

00:16:57.280 and you have the opportunity to walk away because you're sovereign, you're free. You're free of their

00:17:04.540 influence and their, in this case, their monetary carrot that they're dangling over you.

00:17:11.020 One of my early advisors in my financial planning practice told me a story that he wanted to go out

00:17:17.420 on his own. He no longer wanted to work with a financial firm he was working with. And he walked

00:17:21.500 in full of confidence to the manager's office and he said, hey, I'm quitting. And the manager said,

00:17:27.360 you can't quit. He's like, you'll never make it. You'll never survive. It doesn't work like that.

00:17:32.760 In this industry, you need to work with an organization. And what my mentor said to him at that time

00:17:37.000 is that I would rather be a bitch. Excuse me. I'd rather live in a cardboard box than be your

00:17:46.580 bitch for the rest of my life. And he walked away. And now he owns a multi-billion dollar organization

00:17:53.800 as far as assets under management, because he was willing to do that. And he wasn't willing to,

00:17:59.280 I messed that up initially, be somebody else's bitch that he was willing to live under a cardboard

00:18:04.280 box before he sacrificed his values. And look where he is now. And how many of us aren't willing

00:18:11.380 to make those decisions and aren't willing to put our money where our mouth is? Be sovereign, guys.

00:18:16.100 Get yourself fit. Get yourself financially free. Pay off debt. Learn how to make more money. Learn a new

00:18:21.820 marketable skill that you can make money with. Go to the gym. Lose 10, 15, 20, 30, 50, 100 pounds.

00:18:28.160 Or get fit. Get strong. Get off the medication. Stop having to go to the doctor so much and relying

00:18:33.460 on the medical world for all of the issues that you might deal with. Build up some mental and

00:18:37.900 emotional resiliency by doing things difficult that now you have the fortitude to be able to

00:18:42.800 work through your own problems because you did something difficult today. This is crucial.

00:18:47.680 Number seven, add weight to your words. I mean, how many times do we tell people,

00:18:51.500 the people that we love most, I'm going to do that. I'm going to take out the trash. I'm going to

00:18:55.200 go to the gym. I'm going to change my ways. I'm going to stop drinking. I'm going to start that

00:18:59.360 business. I'm going to go lift. I'm going to get strong. I'm going to pay off our debt.

00:19:04.220 And then we don't do anything. Right? Not a thing. There's no weight to your words.

00:19:09.720 And so when you tell people, hey, I expect to be communicated with this way. They're like,

00:19:13.180 yeah, sure. Whatever. Because every time you say something else, it means nothing.

00:19:16.940 And all I need to do is wait a couple of days or a week or two until you lose

00:19:20.240 your appeal to be able to do this. And then we can walk all over you again.

00:19:25.100 Guys, what we say is important. If we say we're going to show up,

00:19:28.240 we need to show up. And again, let me be really clear on this. I'm not the expert.

00:19:32.600 Just this morning, I told guys, hey, we've got a meeting at 10 o'clock Eastern and they all showed

00:19:39.360 up. Now I'm in mountain time. They all showed up at 10 o'clock Eastern. Guess who didn't show up?

00:19:43.840 I didn't show up. Okay. And I didn't show up because I miscommunicated. And what I didn't mean 10,

00:19:49.300 10 Eastern. I meant 10 mountain, which would have been noon Eastern. That was a mess up on my end.

00:19:55.600 But do you think that adds credibility and trust and fosters influence with these guys? Of course,

00:20:02.800 it doesn't. It does the exact opposite. Our word means everything. And when you have weight to your

00:20:10.940 words and you say you're going to do something and you do it consistently and repeatedly forever,

00:20:16.060 then when you start to communicate boundaries, people are like, oh, this guy must mean it.

00:20:19.960 Because when he says something, he does it. And you're going to have less pushback when you have

00:20:26.500 weight to your words. Number eight, don't give an inch because they'll take a mile. Guys,

00:20:31.660 boundaries are boundaries. All right. It doesn't mean it's not a lot. I don't even like the term line

00:20:36.520 in the sand because sand, you can just rub through it. It's, I would say like line in the concrete,

00:20:42.840 line in a rock. Okay. I don't want line in the sand that somebody can just walk over or rub over

00:20:47.680 or move the line. That's not what I'm after. I'm after a line in the concrete, in the rock,

00:20:52.680 immovable, impenetrable. Now I'm not saying we can't adapt and adjust, right? I might have certain

00:20:57.860 boundaries about my work hours, but if I get a phone call and my son broke his leg at football

00:21:02.060 practice, you can bet that I'm going to be changing my schedule so that I can go take care of my son at

00:21:07.820 the hospital. Of course. So don't misunderstand me. But what I'm saying is that just because somebody

00:21:13.880 starts to cross that boundary and it becomes a little awkward or uncomfortable for you,

00:21:18.680 does it give you permission to then draw a different line in the sand? Discomfort is not

00:21:24.840 the variable that allows us to change our boundaries. And if it is, then you don't really

00:21:30.780 have a boundary. You have a hope. I hope people will treat me kindly. I hope people will respect my

00:21:37.820 time. I hope I won't have any fires that I need to put out today. I hope my wife stays with me,

00:21:43.120 but that's not a great way to operate. The best way to operate is this is what I'm going to do.

00:21:48.600 This is what I want. These are my rules for engagement. These are my boundaries and I'm

00:21:53.400 going to make it happen. Come hell or high water. And the only thing that's going to keep me from

00:21:57.960 doing that is difficult, dire, unknown circumstances, like a child breaking their leg or their arm,

00:22:04.160 for example, or a fire as in a little fire at your home that you have to take care of. And so

00:22:09.620 you got to adjust, but everything else is serious because if one person starts to cross over that

00:22:15.300 threshold and you let them, that isn't where it ends. Oh, just this once guys, it doesn't happen

00:22:20.560 like that. Just this once turns into a common reoccurring theme. So draw your line in the sand,

00:22:27.900 not in the sand, in the rock. Don't give an inch or they'll take a mile. Number nine, enlist reinforcements.

00:22:34.740 Guys, it's okay to have other people in your corner. It's okay to watch what other people do.

00:22:40.000 It's okay to, I wouldn't say use other people to enforce your boundaries. But if you see that

00:22:45.300 there's strong people who are upholding and enforcing their boundaries, that's going to help

00:22:49.520 you do the same. Because you can see people on how firm and committed and resolute they are towards

00:22:54.560 their goals and their desires and their dreams. You can see it. You can acknowledge it. And because

00:22:59.620 you see it on other people, the idea is that because you're around them, it will motivate and inspire

00:23:04.520 you to do challenging and difficult things, even though you may be uncomfortable with doing it.

00:23:09.400 So who are the people that you look up to? Who are the firmest people? Who are the most successful

00:23:13.240 people? Who are the people that are killing it in all aspects of life? And what can you learn from

00:23:17.340 them about the way that they honor their own boundaries, the way they communicate boundaries,

00:23:21.560 and the way they get their jobs done? Enlist reinforcements. And the last one, the last point,

00:23:27.960 excuse me, that I made here is that it's very important that we respect the game. And what I mean by

00:23:33.500 that is other people's boundaries. If you trample on and walk all over other people's boundaries,

00:23:38.960 if you're unwilling to acknowledge that certain people want to be communicated with certain ways,

00:23:43.660 or they have rules, or they have things in place that maybe you don't like,

00:23:47.340 if you don't honor those things, how can you expect that other people will honor yours?

00:23:51.840 If you walk all over other people's boundaries, how can you honestly expect, especially if honesty is a

00:23:57.000 virtue you believe in, how can you honestly expect that they're not going to walk all over yours?

00:24:01.660 And how can you look at that person in the eye and say, I wanted to walk all over your boundaries,

00:24:06.060 but I don't want you to walk all over mine. If we start to acknowledge that other people have rules,

00:24:11.220 the ways in which they like to engage, the boundaries they have in place, then we can

00:24:15.900 begin to identify how this is actually healthy. It's healthy for them. It's healthy for you.

00:24:21.100 And you're going to honor and uphold and respect their boundaries, which is going to allow you

00:24:25.040 within integrity, allow other people or communicate to other people that they uphold yours.

00:24:31.660 Guys, the boundaries are so important and I'm not great at this. I have conflicts of interest and

00:24:37.020 I have my own feelings and my own thoughts and my own insecurities and my own fears and worries and

00:24:41.880 doubts. But I know that every time I identify a healthy boundary and I communicate it in a firm,

00:24:49.420 but fair manner. And then I expect people to honor those boundaries. The more time I have,

00:24:55.360 the more confident I am, the more freedom I have, the more fulfillment and joy I have in my life

00:25:01.220 because I'm pursuing things that are meaningful to me and the more healthy the relationships I

00:25:05.280 have with the people around me. Guys, let me recap and then we'll call it a day. Number one,

00:25:09.660 prove your worth to yourself. Number two, examine your values. Number three, discard the outcome.

00:25:15.060 Number four, grow your balls, courage, mental, emotional, physical. Number five, be firm,

00:25:21.100 but fair. Number six, build your sovereignty. I talked about the, I butchered it, but I'd rather

00:25:25.960 live under a cardboard box than be your bitch for the rest of my life. Number seven, add weight to

00:25:30.280 your words. Number eight, don't give an inch because they'll take a mile. Number nine, enlist

00:25:34.200 reinforcements. And number 10, respect the game, which is other people's boundaries. Guys, I hope

00:25:38.960 that helps you. I hope that serves you. Let me know how you're enacting and keeping those boundaries

00:25:43.800 in force. Share with me on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, share this with somebody else who needs to know

00:25:48.940 about boundaries. So many men do let's serve each other. And the last thing I would say to you guys

00:25:53.720 is check out that battle ready program at order a man.com slash battle ready. It's a free program

00:25:58.680 available to you. And it's going to help you get clear on your vision, your goals, your tactics,

00:26:04.920 and the checkpoints along the way. Also utilizing effective and healthy boundaries. All right, guys,

00:26:11.000 we'll be back on Friday or this is Friday. We'll be back next week. Excuse me, next week

00:26:15.640 for our interview show. Until then, go out there, take action, and become a man you are meant to be.

00:26:21.520 Thank you for listening to the Order of Man podcast. If you're ready to take charge of your life

00:26:26.000 and be more of the man you were meant to be, we invite you to join the order at orderofman.com.

00:26:31.460 you

Order of Man - August 04, 2023

How a Man Builds Boundaries ｜ FRIDAY FIELD NOTES

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