How a Man Finds Purpose in Life | FRIDAY FIELD NOTES
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Summary
How does a man find purpose in life? This is one of the most frequently asked questions and topics that men bring up. In this episode, Ryan Michler discusses how a man can find purpose and purpose in his life.
Transcript
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You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest, embrace your fears, and boldly chart
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your own path. When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time, every time.
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You are not easily deterred or defeated, rugged, resilient, strong. This is your life. This is who
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you are. This is who you will become. At the end of the day, and after all is said and done,
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you can call yourself a man. Gentlemen, what is going on today? My name is Ryan Michler.
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I'm your host and the founder of the Order of Man podcast and movement. Welcome here today.
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If you're brand new to what we're doing, this is a mission to reclaim and restore masculinity.
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And my job is to give you all of the information, tools, resources that you might need to thrive
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as a husband, father, business owner, community leader, however you're showing up as a man.
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We've been going for almost nine years strong now, and we have, I think, over 1,100 podcasts
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in the bank, including over 460 interviews with guys like Tim Tebow and Tim Kennedy and Jocko Willink
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and David Goggins, Andy Frisilla, Ben Shapiro, Matthew McConaughey, Terry Crews. I could go on
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and on with the lineup of men who have joined us, but this is a testament to what we're doing
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and a testament to the power that takes place when men band together, all working towards
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common objectives, which in this case is to reclaim and restore masculinity. So I'm glad
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you're here today. I'm going to talk with you about how a man finds purpose in life.
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This is one of the most frequently asked questions and topics that men bring up. How does he find
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purpose? Because he's not satisfied with his life, not satisfied potentially with his career
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or his family dynamic and wants to find some ways to reinvigorate his life and feel like it's
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important, meaningful, and that he's significant. So I'm going to get to a couple of key points that
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you can incorporate. What I would suggest to you today, and I don't always ask this, but
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get your notepad handy. If you have a notepad or an app that you can pull up and take some notes,
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because you might be listening to this as you're working out or doing some errands or chores or
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commuting to work, you might not be in the position to do that. But I'd like you to refer back to this
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and do some of these exercises that I'm going to give you, especially if you're not feeling like
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you're producing and achieving what you desire in life and you're not feeling good about where
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you currently are. Now, before I get into that, I just want to mention very briefly my friends and
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show sponsors over at Montana Knife Company. I use their knives exclusively for hunting. I don't use
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any other knives. They do the trick. They get the job done out in the field. They look good. They
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perform well. And one of the most important things is that they're 100% made in America by people that
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I know. I've broken bread with these people. We've enjoyed laughs and projects and events together.
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It's my good friends over at Montana Knife Company. So if you're looking for a new knife
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All right, guys, let's get into this. How a man finds purpose in life. Number one,
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I really want you to realize that in the process of discovering meaning and significance and purpose,
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you can actually find it where you are. And you want to look where you are first. One of the things
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that my co-host with the ask me anything, and I often talk about is making sure that you're
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maximizing where you currently are. A lot of men will think that life is just going to be better
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because they happen to be in a different environment, a new position, a new career,
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a new line of work, a new life. Guys, it doesn't work like that. If you haven't developed a skill set
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that you need, if you haven't maximized your performance where you currently are, there's
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no other performance. There's no other project. There's no other place that is going to help you feel
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better about who you are. You have to learn to maximize and leverage every single opportunity
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that you have where you currently are. Let me give you an example of that. Order of man is my purpose.
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I am here on this earth to run this movement, to create a business, to inspire millions of other
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men. I believe that. I didn't always know that was the case. Even as I started, I didn't know that
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was the case. But one thing I did is I excelled in my financial planning practice, which is what I did
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prior to this. I wasn't out there looking for something better at the expense of what I currently
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was doing. I wasn't half-assing it in my current job. I wasn't taking it easy. I wasn't coasting.
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I was trying to maximize everything that I could. And one thing that I did that drastically altered
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the course of my life about 10 years ago is I decided to start a podcast. And that podcast was
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called Wealth Anatomy. And it was designed to teach and educate medical professionals on how to invest,
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how to retire, how to create estate plans, how to create retirement planning, how to create
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employee benefits for their colleagues and coworkers. And I did that because I thought podcasting would
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be a great way to promote what we're doing and my services. Now I did about 20, 25 episodes,
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and I realized very, very briefly or shortly that I love podcasting. I love being behind this
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microphone. I love being behind this camera. I love sharing and communicating an important message
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to people in this medium. And I wasn't doing it so I could go start Order of Man. Order of Man
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wasn't a thing. It wasn't even on my radar. I did it because I wanted to maximize my business. And I
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believed that the financial services that we offered were important enough that as many people as I could
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get to hear what I had to say was extremely, extremely important. So I launched this podcast
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again, realized I loved it, but I found out that I didn't want to continue to have the same conversation
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that I was having for about eight, nine years with financial services. And so after about 25 episodes,
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I took everything that I learned, which wasn't a lot, but enough to then use that experience to leverage
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into what is now the Order of Man podcast. And I started this as a side project.
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I didn't anticipate it being a global movement. I didn't anticipate it being my career path. I
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didn't anticipate the amount of men, millions of men that have heard our messages that have
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implement what we share and have actually gone on to do great things themselves. That wasn't even on
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my radar. I was doing the financial. I was satisfied. And yet I found this out simply because I was
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trying to improve where I was. I've had all sorts of job opportunities and different things come up
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because I was fully engaged where I was. The grass is not always greener on the other side. And if it
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is, then you're going to find that out because you're doing everything that you possibly can at
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work right now, or your life or your marriage or whatever facet of life that you're showing up.
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Guys, go all in currently. Maybe there's a new project at work that you can take on. You don't
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know what that's going to turn into. Maybe you recognize something at work that you need to improve,
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and you have no idea what that will turn into. Too many of us as men are saying, well, that's not
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my responsibility. They don't pay me to do that. And we do the bare minimum while we're telling
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ourselves we want to find our passion and our purpose. Guys, if that's your mentality, even if
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you found what your passion and purpose was, you probably wouldn't recognize it, let alone go all
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in on it because you don't know what it takes to go all in on something. So go all in with where you
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are. And through the course of going all in and investing and pouring time and energy and resources
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into your current occupation, into your current relationship, into your current hobby, don't
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worry about finding your other passion. That will come. I promise you. It doesn't seem like it will
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because you think it's out there. It might be, but we need to do what we can right now where we are,
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which will give us better opportunities to find whatever it is out there or create something
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where we currently are. Guys, number two, I want you to explore all of your hobbies, all of your
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interests, all of your activities, all the things that you've ever thought you wanted to do. I want
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you to start exploring those things. I want you to say yes to those things. You never know where that's
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going to take you. Maybe you've always wanted to run a firearms course. You like, you like firearms,
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but you've never taken a course and you decide that, Hey, I'm going to sign up for this course
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because it sounds interesting. Who knows that could lead to you becoming a firearms instructor.
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Will it? I don't know. And neither do you, but we owe it to ourselves to find out. Uh, I just, uh,
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got tickets to do something that I've kind of wanted to do, but kind of scares me at the same time
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is skydiving. It's always been on my radar. It's something I've wanted to do again. I'm not overly
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thrilled about it, but it's an opportunity to do something. I'm in the position to be able to do
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it. I have the time to be able to do it. And so I'm going to go do that with someone else and we're
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going to go do it together. I'm a little scared. I'm a little freaked out. Maybe it turns into
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nothing. Maybe I do it once. Maybe I want to get certified. I have no idea, but it's something I'm
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interested in and I owe it to myself to go explore it too. Often men will not explore those veins
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because they're busy and they have other responsibilities and they have obligations
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and they can't take time off from work and all the other excuses that we create, or they tell
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themselves this will never produce any money. It will never produce any income. I'll never make
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this my career. I'm not as excited about this to turn it into my passion. One little caveat with this
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is we're going to go do these hobbies, interests, and activities with no expectation of results.
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You're not there to make it your passion. You're not there to make it your career.
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You're simply there to enjoy the experience that you've always wanted to participate in
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and you might find something that you genuinely love. Maybe it's golfing, painting, hiking, rock
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climbing, shooting, skydiving, cooking, sewing. I don't know what it is, but if it's interesting
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to you, then go do it. If you've always wanted to be a pilot, go sign up for school or at least
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take a flight in a helicopter or a fixed wing, whatever your desire is. Move towards what is
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calling you. Here's what I found. There's not some thing that whether it's God or the universe or
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whoever that's going to come and bang you on the head and tell you this is what you should be doing
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and has you kneel in front of them and dub you on the shoulder with the sword and you rise a night
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and you rise, you know, with your passion and your purpose and calling in life. It doesn't work like
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that. It's usually something very small, something you didn't even see coming, something you didn't
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anticipate. It was just a little voice or a little urge or a little desire to do something. And the guys
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that have found their passion, they followed it. Not with the expectation of anything in return,
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but purely for the experience. They had one experience. They liked it. They did it again
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and again and again. And they started to delve more into that arena and world. And lo and behold,
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here they are now. Very purpose-driven, very passionate about their current occupation or
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field they're in. That's how it works, guys. When I started Order of Man nine years ago,
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I didn't know it was going to turn into this. So I did a podcast and I'd work two hours in the
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morning and I'd work an hour or two at night after my quote unquote real job. And then it was
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three hours and then it was four hours and then it was five hours. And then eventually I decided I
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need to take this full time. And I sold my financial planning practice to a friend and colleague so that
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I could go all in on this. But it didn't happen until I was willing to take the first step, then
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the next, then the next. Number three, here's some questions that you can ask yourself. The first
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question and write this one down. What problems do you see in the world? What problems do you see in
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the world? You know, I know we like to poke at certain activists and, you know, there's certain
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movements that, you know, I don't necessarily agree with that I think are a real problem actually,
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but you can't take away anything from the fact that the people who are engaged in these things,
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even if it's ignorant or intelligent, wherever it is on the spectrum, they're passionate about it.
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Guys, there's a problem with the world. I don't know what you see as the problem. I only know
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what I see as the problem. And the problem I see is that we don't have enough males stepping up
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and making themselves into men capable of leading themselves and other people. Well,
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I saw that growing up. I see that as a man. That's a real issue. That's a real problem that I think we
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as a society need to address or we're doomed. And because I believe so strongly about it, I'm going
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to put myself in the arena and the game and do something about it. So maybe for you, it's hunting.
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Maybe it's climate control. Maybe it's who knows world peace. Maybe it's solving hunger. Maybe it's
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ending wars. I don't know. Again, some of this stuff I don't necessarily agree with. It doesn't
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matter what I think. What matters is that you see a problem that needs to be addressed. Maybe you have
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a better way or a better mousetrap that could solve the biggest problems in the world. And you would
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find meaning and satisfaction from that. You don't need to solve the problem today. You just need to put
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your foot in the water and get yourself in the game. And once you do that, you're going to start
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to expose yourself to all sorts of new information and different people and new ideas and new industries
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that are going to eventually move you towards this thing that could be calling to you. Guys, if you see
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a problem in the world, then it's your responsibility to deal with it. Oftentimes, I'll get an email from
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guys who will say, hey, Ryan, here's a problem I recognize and I see you should do something about it.
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No, you should do something about it. I've already got my challenge. I've already got the problem I'm trying
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to solve. Now, I'll help you. I'll assist. I'll promote if I think it's a worthwhile cause. But I've got
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mine. What's yours? Don't message me and tell me you want me to do it. I'm going to message you back and say
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you do it. And how can I help support you in solving the problems that you see? Which leads me to my next
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point. There are some experiences that you've had in your life that are going to help you see those
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problems in a way that I can't. So, for example, I grew up without a permanent father figure in my
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life. My dad was primarily out of the picture at a very early age. I had a couple of stepfathers
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come into my life who weren't great examples of what it means to be a man. I saw that as a problem.
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As a young man, I would have liked to have had a better role model, a better influence in my life.
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And because of that, and because I see that now as a problem, I don't want other men to experience
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that. I don't want my children to experience that. So, I'm going to do everything that I can
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to improve my own situation, to give other men resources and tools and information they need
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to be able to make sure that that doesn't happen to them or the people in their lives.
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I'm uniquely qualified to do that. And sure, there's millions and millions of other men who have
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gone through similar or worse circumstances than I have, but the experiences that I have
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make me primed to be able to solve the problems that I see. Did you grow up in a similar situation?
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Did you grow up in extreme poverty? Did you grow up in an abusive household? Were there opportunities
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that were afforded to other people and weren't afforded to you? What was the issue and what did
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you experience and how did you overcome these challenges? Because if you overcame it and you
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have a successful roadmap for doing it, then you can teach other people how to do that. And that would
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be very rewarding and fulfilling to you. So, let's recap real quick. And then I'm going to give you some
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questions that might help prime the pump a little bit with regards to how you can identify what you
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have an aptitude or desire for. So, again, number one, finding your purpose as a man is to start where
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you currently are and maximize every opportunity, leverage every tool and resource you have, and be
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the best at whatever you're currently doing. I promise you it's going to create opportunities.
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Number two, explore even to the small degree all the interests, hobbies, and activities that sound
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interesting to you. If you've ever wanted to go do something, go do it. If you ever wanted to hike
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the Grand Canyon, you ever wanted to go skydiving, you ever wanted to take a firearms course, you ever
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wanted to learn how to cook more effectively, go do it. No expectation. This is not necessarily your
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roadmap. You're just doing it purely for the experience. And the more experiences that you create
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in your life, the better opportunity you have to find what it is you're meant to do and what you
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should be doing. Number three, what problem do you see with the world? And then number four is what
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have you personally gone through and overcome that's going to help you solve other people's
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problems who are in a similar situation as you. Now, point number five, I'm going to give you three
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questions that I think are very, very important and will help give you a little bit of access or insight
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into what you should be doing. Okay. Number one, what would you be doing? What would you be doing
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if money were of no concern? If all your bills were paid, everything was taken care of, what would you
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be doing? Now, I know there's people who like to be kind of smart asses on this and say things that
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they want to do. Fine, whatever. If that's your thing and that's what you would go do, then that's what
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I'm talking about. Okay. If you would go live in the mountains as a mountain man and that's all you
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would do, good. Like how do we get you to that point? How do we make that a reality for you? If money
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were of no concern, no bills, all the bills were taken care of, no debt, independently wealthy, trust
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fund, whatever it may be, what would you be doing with your time? I would be doing this. I would, I love
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this so much that even if money were of no concern, I would still be doing this. It's that
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important to me. Second question, what advice are people asking you for? Because what you're going
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to notice is if people keep asking you for business advice, then they see something in you that you
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might not see in yourself. If they're asking you, how do you take such amazing pictures? Or maybe you,
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uh, you share some of your thoughts on social media and a bunch of people are asking you, man,
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how do you write like that? Or how do you articulate your ideas so well? Or how do you present so well
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in public? Those are little insights. If you have a bunch of people asking how you present so well in
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public, maybe there's an opportunity for you to start teaching other people to present the way that
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you do. If other people are asking you how you take pictures so well and how you see it, the lighting
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and, and, and Photoshop and all the things that you're doing, maybe there's an opportunity for you
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to leverage that and begin to teach other people as a career with how to take pictures, beautiful
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pictures. Okay. Whatever people are asking you for, if you see a reoccurring theme, you might be onto
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something. And the third question here is what am I doing when time goes the fastest? What am I doing
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when time goes the fastest? Cause at that moment you're in the zone, you're in flow as Steven Kotler
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might call it. You are, you are seeing it in real time. You're, you're completely immersed in what
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you're doing. There's no distractions. You're not thinking about anything else. You're fully,
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fully present in the moment. And when time is going fast, you know, you're hyper engaged,
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which means that you should be finding more opportunities to be in that state because that's
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the state where you perform the best. When time is going the fastest, nothing else matters.
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You're all in and there's no distractions. If you can figure out what that is, you might be onto
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something. So again, it's what would I be doing if money weren't a concern? Uh, what advice are
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people asking me for? And what am I doing when time goes the fastest? So those are five. Now guys,
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the last point that I want to make for you today, and look, I don't have the answer to exactly how
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you're going to find your passion. What I wanted to do today is give you some questions and give you
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some fuel to begin to think about what you might be doing and drive yourself towards action. You have
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to take action. Nothing's going to come smack you across the face and say, this is what you need to
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be doing. You need to take action towards new things, towards existing things. That's how you begin to find
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your passion. The last thing is I want you to tap into a higher power. I believe in God. I tap into
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God's presence in my life. I pray to God. I look for divine inspiration. I ask for opportunities for
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me to serve other people. And that gives me a sense of power. It gives me a sense of clarity. It gives me
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a sense of direction. And it helps me see that there's something bigger than just myself. I can't
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imagine being in a position where I believe that all of this would go away and none of this really
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matters in the eternal perspective. To me, it does. And because it matters, the way I show up
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matters. The ends in my mind do not justify the means. The way I show up matters. And if I show up
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properly, and if I show up the way that I feel I should based on my moral compass, then I believe
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the ends will take care of themselves. So what is your higher power? Again, I believe in God.
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If it's God, if it's the universe, if it's karma, if it's some sort of cosmic muse, I don't know. I
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don't know what it is for you. But if you believe that there's something bigger, maybe it's just a
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sense of community. Maybe that's your higher power. Maybe you just have this innate desire to serve
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humanity because that's the right thing to do. If there's something bigger than yourself,
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you can see the picture from a step back and realize that even though you might be a small
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part to play, you're an integral part of the purpose, of the grand plan, of the grand design.
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So find whatever that is. Ask people about spirituality. Ask people about what their higher
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power is. Ask people what drives them, what motivates them. I used to believe that if you didn't
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believe in God, that it didn't really matter and you couldn't have a moral compass. I don't think
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that's true. I think even people who are atheists and don't believe in God at all or any form of
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higher power, still many of them that I know are good people. Okay, well, where does that come from?
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I think I know where it comes from. You disagree with me. So you tell me where does that come from
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and then use it as fuel to serve that higher power or that higher moral compass that you abide by.
00:23:06.400
I think that's probably one of the most powerful things you can do and you can do it on a daily
00:23:10.160
basis and continue to ask yourself, what is my purpose, my small, seemingly insignificant purpose
00:23:17.440
in the grand scheme of things? Where do I fit in? What should I be doing? For me,
00:23:21.940
my desire is to become the best man that I possibly can be, to be the best protector,
00:23:29.360
to be the best leader, to be the best servant of the people that I love and care about,
00:23:34.380
to provide for those I love and care about, to provide and protect for those who can't take care
00:23:39.040
of themselves. If I can be that kind of guy, then I can go out and I can help other people do the same,
00:23:45.480
which I believe is the way to live for me. What is it for you? Explore it, consider it,
00:23:53.100
contemplate, pontificate, think about what that might be, pray about it, tap into the higher power,
00:23:59.340
and I think you'll begin to find your answers. But let's not fall into the trap of saying,
00:24:03.360
hey, if it's God's will, I don't believe it works like that either. I've seen so many men
00:24:07.960
say things like it's God's will and they let opportunity after opportunity and experience
00:24:13.960
after experience pass them by because they're waiting for God to interject. I don't think it
00:24:18.780
works like that. I think he has a desire for you to do great. I think he's going to present
00:24:23.420
opportunities for you to do so, but it's ultimately up to you to take advantage of them, to recognize
00:24:29.500
them, and to move forward with the opportunities presented. That's how you find your passion.
00:24:34.840
That's how you find your purpose in life. I can't tell you, just draw from a hat. I'll put a bunch
00:24:40.000
of things in here, draw from a hat. I can't tell you that one day you'll just wake up in the middle
00:24:45.100
of the night in a cold sweat, realizing what you're meant to do on this earth. All I know is
00:24:51.700
that regardless of your station in life, if you're satisfied or fulfilled or completely demoralized,
00:24:57.260
maybe in life right now, if you just keep going one step, one foot in front of the other towards the
00:25:04.600
triggers and things I gave you here today, that over time you're going to build your purpose.
00:25:09.700
You're not going to find it. You're going to develop it. You're going to articulate it. You're
00:25:14.080
going to uncover it. You're going to build it as we have here with Order of Man. So guys, I hope that
00:25:18.840
helps. If you have any other insights or ideas on how you can find your purpose and you want to
00:25:23.720
share those things, share them with me. I'll share them with the group. You can check it out at
00:25:28.520
Instagram. You can join our Facebook group. You can even sign up to be notified when our exclusive
00:25:33.260
brotherhood, the Iron Council, opens back up. We're all trying to help each other find our purpose.
00:25:37.600
That's at orderofman.com slash Iron Council. And you have your marching orders. I want everybody
00:25:43.100
to find their purpose. The world would be a better place if we did, but too many people,
00:25:47.020
too many men are playing less than they're capable of because they're just going through the motions
00:25:51.840
and they're not engaged in these things. Let's recap. And then I'll close out for the day.
00:25:56.220
It starts with where you are. Number two, explore all hobbies, interests, and activities without
00:26:01.080
expectation of results. Number three, what are the problems that you see in the world?
00:26:05.660
Number four, what experiences have you gone through that make you uniquely qualified to solve some of
00:26:10.980
these problems? Number five, what would I be doing if money was not a concern? What advice are people
00:26:17.080
asking me for? And what am I doing when time goes the fastest? And then number six, search for a higher
00:26:23.660
power. All right, guys, I hope that serves you in some way. I'm fulfilling my purpose and mission,
00:26:28.620
and I hope I'm doing that effectively. I want you to go out and do the same. Guys, we'll be back next week
00:26:33.320
for our interview show. Until then, go out there, take action, find your purpose. Actually, I'll say
00:26:39.740
it this way. Build your purpose and become the man you are meant to be. Thank you for listening to the
00:26:46.180
Order of Man podcast. If you're ready to take charge of your life and be more of the man you were meant
00:26:51.200
to be, we invite you to join the order at orderofman.com.