Order of Man - How Men Change the Tide of Culture ｜ FRIDAY FIELD NOTES

00:00:00.000 You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest. Embrace your fears and boldly charge your own path.

00:00:06.000 When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time. Every time.

00:00:10.440 You are not easily deterred or defeated. Rugged. Resilient. Strong.

00:00:15.440 This is your life. This is who you are. This is who you will become.

00:00:19.660 At the end of the day, and after all is said and done, you can call yourself a man.

00:00:24.580 Gentlemen, what is going on today? My name is Ryan Michler. I'm the host and the founder of the Order of Man podcast.

00:00:31.660 And of course, the movement as well, which we started in March of 2015.

00:00:37.140 So that's six and a half years ago. It's crazy that it's been that long.

00:00:41.560 But the growth that we've experienced is also pretty wild.

00:00:48.020 I didn't totally expect it would grow like this, but it's been pretty incredible to be on this journey

00:00:53.040 and to have conversations with the men that we have on this podcast.

00:00:56.800 And also you guys, you know, you come to our events, you shoot me messages and emails.

00:01:01.200 And every time I'm able to have a conversation with one of you about how this work has helped you or your family,

00:01:06.260 I'm honored by that. And it's fuel for me to continue to go.

00:01:10.940 Now, one of the questions that gets brought up a lot when I talk with you guys

00:01:13.600 is something along the lines of how do we turn the tide?

00:01:19.880 And typically that's referring to politics.

00:01:24.060 It's referring to the cultural degeneration that I believe a lot of us acknowledge and recognize.

00:01:32.420 And I guess that's the first thing we need to do, acknowledge that there is a problem.

00:01:36.060 You can't really improve and get better if you're not willing to admit there's an actual problem going on.

00:01:41.520 What's interesting, though, is every time that I talk about the problems that I see in society,

00:01:46.320 and I'm not going to get into that too heavy today.

00:01:49.760 There's always a few people who like to point out that somehow acknowledging problems and threats and challenges

00:01:56.440 is synonymous with painting yourself as a victim.

00:02:01.020 I don't quite understand where that notion comes from.

00:02:06.380 I think if you really want to win and thrive and succeed and help other people do the same,

00:02:10.840 then you have to be realistic about what the actual threats are.

00:02:15.880 Now, I would agree with the statement of victimhood.

00:02:18.880 If you blamed your life circumstances on everybody else and you refuse to take any sort of responsibility

00:02:26.520 over your own life, sure, that can be looked at as victimhood mentality.

00:02:31.880 But to simply acknowledge that there's some problems isn't painting yourself as the victim,

00:02:38.640 especially if you're willing to do something about it.

00:02:42.180 And that is the general answer I wanted to share with you today.

00:02:44.740 When you guys ask me, how do we turn the tide?

00:02:47.940 How do we change the political climate?

00:02:50.340 How do we change this cultural degeneracy?

00:02:54.000 What is it that we do?

00:02:55.040 The answer is you act.

00:02:57.380 You take action.

00:02:58.200 So I'm going to break this down very simply for you guys and then ask your help in standing

00:03:03.540 shoulder to shoulder with me and thousands and thousands of other men who believe in

00:03:07.980 the work we're doing here and how important it can be in society.

00:03:11.240 I mean, you look around and you see actors and entertainers and celebrities, and these

00:03:17.100 are the people that so many are idolizing and looking to for some sort of moral code

00:03:22.520 or judgment of moral decency.

00:03:26.620 And clearly, that isn't the case.

00:03:28.660 You look at the issues that men are dealing with when it comes to depression and suicide.

00:03:34.820 You look at the rates of fatherless homes, and then you look at the statistics behind

00:03:38.400 what happens to young men and young women who come from fatherless homes.

00:03:43.340 And inevitably, I'll have somebody say, well, I came from a fatherless home and I turned

00:03:46.460 out pretty good.

00:03:47.120 Sure.

00:03:47.400 And that's great.

00:03:48.160 I did too.

00:03:49.120 And so there's certainly those of us who can make ourselves into something despite our

00:03:55.440 situation and circumstances.

00:03:57.540 But you look at drug abuse, crime rates, suicide that comes from fatherless homes.

00:04:06.740 It's staggering.

00:04:07.500 It's terrifying.

00:04:08.680 It's actually very disheartening.

00:04:10.680 So there's a lot that we can do as men and should be doing to improve our own lives,

00:04:15.700 our family lives, our community's lives, and then just the nation as a whole.

00:04:21.920 And it's clear to me that this is a critical component of the work that we all have to do.

00:04:28.400 So here's what I would suggest first when it comes to changing the tide or turning the tide

00:04:31.920 and fixing this culture that we live in.

00:04:34.100 Number one is fixing yourself first.

00:04:35.760 You know, it's very easy to look around and say, you know, this is the problem I've got.

00:04:39.040 This is the president.

00:04:40.720 Here's the economy.

00:04:42.200 Here's what we're dealing with.

00:04:43.440 Here's what my parents did to me. 1.00

00:04:44.720 Here's why my wife is a bitch. 1.00

00:04:46.280 Here's why my boss is an asshole. 1.00

00:04:48.160 And so what we do is we're constantly looking for problems and threats, which can be good, 1.00

00:04:52.980 but very rarely are we willing to accept that maybe, just maybe, you need to work on fixing

00:04:59.980 yourself first.

00:05:01.200 Because all the things I just shared, those might be true.

00:05:03.780 There might be some issues because of the current president.

00:05:06.220 There might be some issues in your finances because of the economy.

00:05:09.340 There might be some issues in your relationship because your wife isn't as good of a human 1.00

00:05:15.800 being as you'd like her to be.

00:05:17.860 And you want to be. 1.00

00:05:18.940 Your boss really might be an asshole. 1.00

00:05:21.020 And so there's a tinge of truth with all of the things that we tell ourselves, because if it 1.00

00:05:26.460 wasn't somewhat truthful or there wasn't some hint of accuracy, it'd be harder to use that as an

00:05:31.920 excuse. But none of that excuses the responsibility that we need to take for ourselves.

00:05:39.040 And namely in four critical components.

00:05:41.340 Number one, there's your spiritual health.

00:05:43.320 And I'm not necessarily talking about religion, but I'm talking about

00:05:46.140 believing in something bigger than you in a higher power, something directing this.

00:05:52.800 You become at peace and can answer the question of why you believe you're here.

00:05:58.260 And there's something bigger than just you that's operating, that's moving you, that's guiding

00:06:03.600 you. It's very important that we all find that because that spiritual realm of things is really

00:06:11.080 going to help us live a more moral, decent, and fulfilling life.

00:06:15.740 Number two, your emotional well-being.

00:06:18.040 I talk about this all the time.

00:06:19.600 Men have such a strange relationship with emotions.

00:06:23.000 We've been led to believe that we shouldn't be emotional. 1.00

00:06:25.960 And that's stupid. 1.00

00:06:26.820 We're all emotional. 1.00

00:06:28.600 Now, we don't need to react emotionally, but to say that we shouldn't be emotional is a

00:06:34.400 very strange and quite literally impossible order.

00:06:39.260 It's an impossible ask.

00:06:41.040 I usually liken our emotions to the dashboard of our vehicle.

00:06:46.560 If you're driving down the road, for example, and the check engine light on your truck comes

00:06:50.460 on, you don't get all pissed off and bent out of shape and go drive off the road and wrap

00:06:55.480 your truck around the next tree that you see.

00:06:59.060 No, you pull over, you take your truck into the mechanic and you have it diagnosed and you make

00:07:04.260 the necessary fixes and then you get back on the road.

00:07:07.560 Your emotions are the same.

00:07:08.860 You need to understand why you're angry, why you're sad, why you're happy, why you're glad, and then use those emotions as feedback for what you need to do for your next course of action.

00:07:21.920 So, we have spiritual health, we have emotional health, and then we have our mental health.

00:07:26.940 This is the mindset that you guys are coming from.

00:07:29.660 Do you have grit?

00:07:31.060 Do you have resolve?

00:07:31.940 Do you have fortitude?

00:07:32.780 Are you willing to withstand temptation?

00:07:37.360 Are you willing to do hard things?

00:07:39.240 When hard things come your way, are you willing to enable to get through those difficult and challenging circumstances? 0.99

00:07:45.020 Or do you have a loser mentality that you're pathetic and you don't deserve what you have and you're going to be a loser the rest of your life? 0.99

00:07:52.320 That's a mindset issue. 0.99

00:07:54.540 And the way that you improve that, by the way, is by putting yourself in very difficult and uncomfortable circumstances and situations.

00:08:02.300 Not dangerous.

00:08:03.460 There's a difference.

00:08:04.400 But difficult, yeah, so that you can train your mind to be more fit, to have the right mindset for success and growth.

00:08:15.840 Last, your physical realm.

00:08:17.340 Got to take care of your physicality, your strength, your stamina, your sleep, your recovery, like all of these things, your body fat percentage, all of these things.

00:08:25.940 I mean, we know 100% without any doubt that if you are in better shape, you're going to be better mentally, you're going to be better emotionally, you're going to be better spiritually.

00:08:34.800 And then and only then, by fixing yourself in these four components, will you actually have the ability to do everything, not everything, other things for other people, which we're going to talk about next.

00:08:44.480 So if you want to, if you genuinely are asking me that question, hey, Ryan, how do we turn the tide?

00:08:50.000 Fix yourself, fix yourself, ask yourself, like do a real inventory.

00:08:54.480 Where are you good?

00:08:55.560 Where are you lacking?

00:08:56.640 Where are you struggling?

00:08:57.680 Where can you improve?

00:08:58.820 How are you going to do it?

00:08:59.940 What's your plan?

00:09:00.880 What's your strategy?

00:09:03.480 If you can answer those questions in the affirmative and you're doing all of that, then I think you're on track for hitting into this next step.

00:09:10.140 And these aren't, these aren't in, in any order that, well, they, I should say it this way.

00:09:15.940 They are an order, but it's not like you get to check off the, I fixed myself first box.

00:09:20.100 So now I don't have to worry about that ever again.

00:09:22.420 We're constantly doing all of these things.

00:09:25.040 So we're stacking these.

00:09:26.640 The foundation is fixing yourself.

00:09:29.120 Number two, lead your family well.

00:09:30.920 Again, it does no good to go out and serve a bunch of other people and try to create some global movement of, of men or people or whoever it is that you're trying to rally around a cause.

00:09:42.820 If you can't even lead your family well, like if those closest to you aren't led by you, aren't inspired by you, don't want to be like you.

00:09:50.340 Somebody on the podcast, I can't, I wish I remembered who it was, just said, gosh, it's frustrating that I forgot who, who suggested this, but they said, oh, Jesse Itzler, I think he said, what I recommend myself as.

00:10:06.840 So on the podcast earlier this week on Tuesday, that Jesse said, would I recommend, recommend myself as a father?

00:10:13.540 Would I recommend myself as a business partner or a business solution?

00:10:18.920 But let's focus on the fatherhood component.

00:10:21.080 Like, would you recommend you as a father?

00:10:23.160 Would you want you as a father?

00:10:25.620 Would you want you as a, as a life partner?

00:10:28.400 If the answer is no, and you're being truthful, then that's probably the next step.

00:10:33.040 Like, forget about the business.

00:10:34.520 Forget about impacting thousands or tens of thousands or millions of people across the planet and ask yourself how you can be more involved with your family, how you can be better connected with your wife, how you guys can have a connection and intimacy that maybe wasn't there before, how you can lead your kids and be involved and be at their sports events and be at their dance recitals and their music recitals and all these other things that you want to be part of.

00:10:59.640 Like, do you actually know them or do you just see them really quickly in the morning before

00:11:04.240 you step out and pat their little head and say goodbye and give them a kiss and a hug?

00:11:07.920 And then you do the same thing at night.

00:11:09.220 And that's the extent of your relationship.

00:11:11.860 You know, people will always look to external sources and say, you know, if my external source

00:11:15.720 was better, if my wife was better, my kids were better, the economy or the president or my job,

00:11:20.680 then my life would just be better.

00:11:22.480 Well, that isn't true.

00:11:24.020 If you can't handle at a micro level leading yourself, how are you going to lead your family?

00:11:29.840 And if you can't even lead your family, how do you ever expect to lead your neighbors or complete strangers?

00:11:36.140 So there is a hierarchy to this.

00:11:38.500 There is a subsequential order to this.

00:11:40.320 And again, you're going to be working on fixing yourself forever because you were never completely

00:11:45.280 fixed if we want to use that word, but you're never going to reach that potential, but you

00:11:49.820 should be striving for it.

00:11:51.360 And then you move into the next largest unit, which is your family, the people who are closest

00:11:56.680 to you.

00:11:58.340 Because look, you can fake and fool people for some amount of time, but we're all going

00:12:03.100 to find out.

00:12:04.080 Everybody's going to find out who people really are.

00:12:07.960 So make sure you have that stuff squared away.

00:12:09.920 Next, you move into serving your community.

00:12:14.960 So again, fix yourself, number one.

00:12:17.240 Number two, lead your family.

00:12:19.000 Number three, serve your community.

00:12:20.900 A lot of different ways to do this, guys.

00:12:22.260 It could be local politics.

00:12:23.920 That's one question I get quite a bit is, Ryan, are you going to be political?

00:12:26.720 And are you going to run for office?

00:12:27.900 And I mean, the answer to that is no.

00:12:30.240 But if I ever were to do that, maybe down the road, something changes, I would start at

00:12:33.900 the local level because I think that's where the real change can take place.

00:12:36.740 So we start at the local level and then we move up from there.

00:12:40.420 If that is your desire.

00:12:42.080 But yeah, I think if you have a desire to get into politics, you should probably do that.

00:12:46.100 And people say, I'd never get into politics or politics is for weasels and weenies and

00:12:51.800 all that stuff.

00:12:52.420 And I agree to some of that.

00:12:54.500 But also, we need men who are in this order of man realm to be political, right?

00:13:02.920 And I have a lot of people who say, well, if the current political climate is such a

00:13:09.140 problem to you, Ryan, why don't you run for office?

00:13:11.760 Well, that's not the only way to fix things, guys.

00:13:14.360 And I feel like the work that I'm doing here is going to be just as, if not more impactful

00:13:20.000 than me potentially running for office.

00:13:21.720 But I'm digressing a little bit here.

00:13:24.260 Next is serving your community.

00:13:26.680 I remember as I was coaching some of my son's football teams and baseball teams, I would

00:13:31.620 look around at the other kids and I would see a lack of fathers.

00:13:36.240 You know, some that were very, very engaged and others that just were not present at all.

00:13:42.020 And it was so frustrating.

00:13:43.340 And then I would look at these young boys and I would, I would just, I feel for them because

00:13:47.380 I know what it's like.

00:13:48.420 I've been there.

00:13:49.000 I've been in that situation.

00:13:50.520 And it became very clear to me that for some of these young men, I was the only male role

00:13:56.980 model, stable, solid male role model in their life, all because I decided to coach my son's

00:14:03.340 team.

00:14:03.540 And your local community center, by the way, guys would love to have you involved a hundred

00:14:08.680 percent beyond a shadow of a doubt would love to have you involved.

00:14:12.320 How do I know that?

00:14:12.980 Because I know that there's not as many men willing to step up into these areas.

00:14:16.680 You know, you look at Cub Scouts and Boy Scouts.

00:14:18.840 And although I have my issues with these organizations, uh, one of the things that was very, very apparent

00:14:24.780 in Cub Scouts, women lead Cub Scouts.

00:14:28.160 Men don't lead Cub Scouts.

00:14:29.820 It's not because they shouldn't, they absolutely should, but it's.

00:14:33.100 And then they'll complain about, well, all they do is arts and crafts and whatnot.

00:14:36.100 Yeah.

00:14:36.560 Well, maybe if more men stepped up and actually led these organizations, they wouldn't be in

00:14:41.880 the trouble in the situations they are.

00:14:43.680 They wouldn't be dominated and entirely run by women.

00:14:46.460 It's not that I have anything wrong or against women, but when it comes to teaching our young

00:14:50.320 men, we need male influences to be there, to teach them morality and right from wrong

00:14:56.180 and how to be a good and decent human being and how to work hard and develop mental fortitude

00:15:01.180 and emotional stability.

00:15:03.500 And, and that's what men bring to the equation.

00:15:05.740 I had men in my life as high school coaches for, for baseball and football.

00:15:11.120 In fact, I had one of them on the podcast, Matt labor.

00:15:13.480 I still talk with him to this day, 22 years later.

00:15:18.440 And that was somebody who stepped up in a big way when he didn't have to, you know, it

00:15:24.340 would have been much easier for him to do his teaching job.

00:15:27.480 And then at the end of the day, go home and spend time with his kids and his wife and be

00:15:31.980 consumed by the things that he wanted to be consumed with.

00:15:34.120 But instead he decided to serve us young men.

00:15:36.020 And there's lessons that I learned from him.

00:15:38.440 There's phrases that he taught us that I use more than two decades later.

00:15:44.260 This is the power of men stepping up into their communities.

00:15:47.520 So get involved in politics, get involved in coaching your kids, sports teams.

00:15:53.180 Another one, get involved in going on, on the school districts and going to the school board

00:15:59.220 meetings.

00:15:59.620 You know, if you have a problem with those things, you have a real opportunity to step up.

00:16:03.500 And can you imagine if a hundred thousand or a million or 10 million men who all saw what

00:16:09.980 was going on in society said, you know what, here's how I'm going to do it.

00:16:13.680 I'm going to fix myself.

00:16:14.920 I'm going to lead my family more effectively.

00:16:16.440 And then I'm going to start pouring outward into my community.

00:16:19.060 And I'm going to start impacting the thousands of people within my general proximity through

00:16:24.620 service, through leading, through giving, through adding value, through teaching.

00:16:30.040 Unstoppable.

00:16:33.980 And the last thing I would say, guys, and this is very important, is that when you're in

00:16:37.340 the position to do this and you have a desire to do it, so you're working on fixing yourself,

00:16:41.640 you've now learned to lead your family well, you're serving your community.

00:16:46.740 Now you have an obligation at this point to teach other men how to do that.

00:16:50.860 And this becomes this big perpetual cycle of growth and expansion and progress and morality

00:16:58.680 and capability and service.

00:17:01.720 Like you can't bottle this stuff up.

00:17:03.760 You know, if you have things dialed in, let's say your fitness is in check and your income

00:17:07.760 is good and you're growing a business and you're intimate with your wife and you love

00:17:12.000 and lead your kids well, and everything is wonderful.

00:17:14.840 We can't isolate ourselves in that anymore. 0.98

00:17:18.380 You know, there's the term of the silent majority, which is such a dumb concept. 0.93

00:17:22.780 Like, why are we being silent? 0.90

00:17:25.460 Congratulations.

00:17:26.340 You have everything figured out, but how are you going to help other people get things

00:17:29.400 figured out?

00:17:30.180 You're going to do it by inspiring them to lead this kind of life, to fix themselves,

00:17:35.540 to lead their families, to serve their communities.

00:17:37.400 And then they in turn are going to go out and do these kinds of things.

00:17:40.820 To take it back to my coach, coach Matt Labrum, when he decided that he wanted to serve me

00:17:47.040 and of course the other hundreds, if not thousands of young men that he did through his coaching,

00:17:52.620 he was creating a ripple effect of incalculable good, right?

00:18:00.580 Because if he changed me, let's just take hypothetically here.

00:18:04.380 It's not even hypothetical.

00:18:05.100 He did, he changed me and now I have the opportunity to impact quite literally millions

00:18:12.120 and millions of men who are listening to this podcast.

00:18:15.560 They're tapped into what we're doing.

00:18:17.240 They've read my book.

00:18:18.940 They follow the guests that I have on.

00:18:21.980 The reach is millions, all because one man decided that he was going to serve his community

00:18:27.720 and then he inspired me to go out and to do the same thing.

00:18:33.260 This is the exponential effect and growth that we'll see.

00:18:37.060 And a lot of you guys are like, I don't know, Ryan, it's too late.

00:18:40.740 Okay, well, you know, what's the alternative? 0.99

00:18:42.840 You're just going to sit back and cover your own ass and hope that things get better 0.99

00:18:47.540 or that they improve or that you can shelter and isolate yourself 0.99

00:18:50.980 from the nonsense that's going around in the world.

00:18:53.420 Well, you can do it for so long, but you know what?

00:18:55.300 Your kids and your grandkids are going to be the beneficiary of your inaction.

00:19:02.800 And is that something that you're willing to live with?

00:19:04.840 Is that the kind of legacy you want to lead?

00:19:06.800 Or do you want to lead a legacy of action and inspiration and service and influence?

00:19:13.980 And you're teaching people to do good and to be good and to have morality and to be capable men.

00:19:19.260 Guys, if you've got it dialed in, we now have a moral obligation and responsibility to teach other men to do the same thing.

00:19:30.080 That could be as simple as getting on the podcast right now you're listening to,

00:19:33.580 taking a quick screenshot, blasting it out to 10 of your friends in a text.

00:19:37.940 It could be taking a screenshot and putting it on social media and tagging three people that you know.

00:19:43.120 It could be doing something like my good friend Curtis Miller did last weekend where he got 30 of his buddies to come over to my place.

00:19:50.260 We did it here at the barn.

00:19:51.440 He hosted a great event.

00:19:53.020 I spoke at the event and they got together and they're starting to hash and work some of this stuff out.

00:19:57.600 If I'm in one of your areas, like I've been over the past several months,

00:20:00.780 then come to a meetup and band with me and 30, 40, 50 other guys who happen to be in that area.

00:20:06.300 Have a book club.

00:20:07.560 Go have fight nights with guys just so you can get together and talk about some of this stuff.

00:20:13.500 Do jujitsu together.

00:20:14.940 Go train together.

00:20:16.020 Run a marathon together.

00:20:17.140 Go hunt together.

00:20:18.700 There's so many different ways to do this and so many different ways to inspire other people to do the same.

00:20:23.740 But we have to do it.

00:20:25.220 We have to do it.

00:20:26.600 None of this silent majority stuff. 0.99

00:20:28.780 None of this protecting our own asses. 0.95

00:20:32.540 You know, in the military, for those of you guys who spent time in the military, 0.98

00:20:36.260 probably understand the term blue falcon.

00:20:39.160 Blue falcon.

00:20:39.960 If you don't know what it is, you can go look it up.

00:20:41.880 But don't be a blue falcon. 0.99

00:20:44.200 Don't screw over other people and cover your own ass and not really worry about anybody else 0.99

00:20:48.880 or throw other people under the bus. 0.99

00:20:50.480 The way we do this is we lead ourselves, we lead our families, we lead our neighborhoods

00:20:55.220 and communities, and then we inspire other men to do the same.

00:20:58.500 And when millions and millions of us are doing this, we become unstoppable.

00:21:02.140 And we start to turn the tide of this cultural degeneracy.

00:21:06.520 We turn the tide of politicians.

00:21:08.520 We inform them through our actions and the way that we show up that they serve us, not the other 0.99

00:21:14.540 way around.

00:21:15.260 And we begin to take hold of this country and frankly, the world, which is what really needs

00:21:20.980 to happen.

00:21:22.640 We've got a lot of work to do, guys.

00:21:24.280 And I know I wasn't very specific today.

00:21:25.980 I wanted to give you a general framework, but if one of those topics hit home to you

00:21:30.780 and you feel like you need to improve in one or more of those areas, then go back through

00:21:35.740 the podcast archives, join our Facebook group, join the Iron Council, which is our exclusive

00:21:40.760 brotherhood and delve down the rabbit hole of information that we put out over the past

00:21:45.840 six and a half years.

00:21:46.620 It's all there.

00:21:47.720 Only question is, are you willing to access and apply it?

00:21:51.960 All right, guys, we'll be back next week.

00:21:55.000 This weekend, I am knee deep in the main event, a hundred guys coming out here.

00:22:00.280 Speaking of inspiring other people to do the same, a hundred guys out here and we're going

00:22:04.840 to have a great weekend, but I will be back next week.

00:22:07.460 Until then, go out there, take action and become the man you are meant to be.

00:22:11.600 Thank you for listening to the Order of Man podcast.

00:22:14.480 If you're ready to take charge of your life and be more of the man you were meant to be,

00:22:18.120 we invite you to join the order at orderofman.com.

00:22:21.960 Thank you for listening to the Order of Man.

Order of Man - October 08, 2021

How Men Change the Tide of Culture ｜ FRIDAY FIELD NOTES

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