Order of Man - How to Best Secure a Promotion, Find and Hire a Mentor, and Prioritize Your Objectives ｜ ASK ME ANYTHING

00:00:00.000 You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest. Embrace your fears and boldly chart

00:00:04.980 your own path. When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time. Every time.

00:00:10.400 You are not easily deterred or defeated. Rugged. Resilient. Strong. This is your life. This is who

00:00:17.160 you are. This is who you will become. At the end of the day, and after all is said and done,

00:00:22.720 you can call yourself a man. Kiff, what's up man? It's good to see you. It's been weeks since we

00:00:27.680 did one of these together. So it's good to have my co-host back. It's good to be back. And here we

00:00:32.280 go. Yeah, I love it, man. And it doesn't need to be said. I always appreciate these conversations

00:00:39.900 and it's always better when we have a chance to do them together. And of course, we got some great

00:00:44.140 questions from the guys in the foundry, which is our members of the Iron Council. So we got some

00:00:50.040 good ones to go over. Is it weird for you to do it by yourself? Does it feel like pretentious or

00:00:56.520 you're talking to yourself in the mirror or like, what does it feel like for you? Because I've been

00:01:01.180 doing it so long that I don't even feel like at this point I'm talking to myself. So I'm just curious

00:01:07.020 about what it is for you. Yeah, it used to, I used to feel really awkward about it. Due to your

00:01:13.860 coaching, I just hit record and go. And I try not to like analyze like, oh, should I have said that

00:01:20.240 differently? And maybe I should hit pause and restart over. And I did that for a while. Like I was

00:01:26.120 tempted to do that, but, um, no, I, I just, I just go and, uh, record it and have a conversation

00:01:35.020 with myself. And I, it doesn't feel like I'm having a conversation with myself though, but I am

00:01:40.040 somebody, somebody had made a comment that the best part of your podcast was listening to you tell dad

00:01:48.160 jokes and then laugh at them yourself. I know, totally. That's how, you know, it's a good dad joke

00:01:54.400 when you laugh at yourself and no one, no one needs to be part of the joke for you to enjoy it.

00:01:59.160 But, uh, and, and I did get some messages by the way, guys are like, Hey, don't let Ryan give you 0.99

00:02:04.900 shit about telling dad jokes. Those were hilarious. And I was like, uh, I better check up on the last 0.99

00:02:10.580 AMA. And of course you started off with giving me shit for doing that dad joke. So I wasn't giving 0.99

00:02:15.840 you shit at all, man. I'm just telling you the feedback I received. So it's, it is, it is good to do 0.99

00:02:21.460 this together, but you know, there's also a life lesson in here with just starting. Cause I think

00:02:26.640 so many of us want things to be exactly perfect. Exactly. Right. Uh, I don't, I don't know if that

00:02:32.620 was good. I don't know how people are going to respond. What if they judge me? What if this,

00:02:36.400 what if that, I just believe that you ought to launch the product, whatever it is, knowing

00:02:42.140 with certainty that it is not going to be perfect, that there are going to be critics. There are going

00:02:47.520 to be people who hold you back or want to tear you down and just deal with it. So you could have

00:02:53.120 it perfect and never launch, or you could have it 80% ish and launch it. And that's how you grow.

00:03:00.520 That's how you get better. That's how you improve. And I'm not saying just because you launch

00:03:04.040 that you shouldn't go back and critique and evaluate your performance. I don't know if you do

00:03:08.640 that. I do that. And my wife makes fun of me. She says, you listen to your own podcast. Well, yeah,

00:03:13.440 but I'm listening because I'm trying to figure out if I could have done it better, where what

00:03:19.360 question I missed or what point that I made that wasn't something I totally believe or, you know,

00:03:25.620 just trying to improve. And then you get better because you put it out there and there's some

00:03:29.860 real world consequence to what you're putting out there and you want to improve. But if you're

00:03:34.500 never launching, there's no feedback for you ever. And you're not going to improve because you never

00:03:40.380 launched the dang thing. Yeah. Not that you need more, um, you know, people telling you how great

00:03:45.900 you are, but you, you are so good at, okay. You are so good at this. And, and, and for those guys

00:03:52.180 that have a hard time relating, I'm, I'm the opposite, right? I have a, I have a tendency.

00:03:57.220 My natural tendency is Ryan, if it's not perfect, then don't do it and delay it and overanalyze it and

00:04:04.280 everything. And, um, I mean, you're just spot on. Like I have to fight against that a lot to go,

00:04:09.800 no, let's just get started and, and start making progress. And to your point, you don't know what

00:04:15.580 you don't know. And there's a, there's an element of knowledge that's not even on your radar.

00:04:21.280 You can analyze shit all you want. You don't even know about it. And that's not going to show up for 0.97

00:04:27.060 you until you take action. And that's something that you've been like a really great example around.

00:04:32.160 And, and hopefully that's been rubbing off in the different areas of, of my life. So.

00:04:36.440 Yeah. I mean, I think that's a personality thing to a large extent is, and that has always been my

00:04:42.760 personality of just go and figure it out along the way to my detriment in some cases. I mean,

00:04:47.460 I'd willing to admit that I've spent money and energy and time and relationships where I've,

00:04:55.640 I've alienated, I've ostracized, I've struggled because I do tend to, at times leave a wake of

00:05:02.720 collateral damage in my path. And so that's the risk of, of taking it too far to the extreme

00:05:08.000 with what I've been talking about, you know? So yeah, your blessing can be your curse and your

00:05:12.800 curse can be your blessing. If you understand the context in which you should operate.

00:05:16.540 Well, and, and I think the solution to that is something that we talk about on this podcast all

00:05:21.540 the time. And it's an after action review. It's just like you listening to the podcast when you run

00:05:26.500 solo, why do you do that? So you can pivot and adjust. You do an AAR when you rush,

00:05:32.580 an MVP or whatever. Why do you do that? So you learn that, oh shit, man, I, I sometimes leave

00:05:38.760 collateral damage. Sometimes I do this and I do AAR. So that way I realized like, oh, I've had this 1.00

00:05:44.620 brilliant idea and I don't act on shit because I overanalyzed it. And by now I could have tried 0.98

00:05:50.140 things out. I could learn. So it's the constant after action review, assessing what works, what

00:05:56.160 doesn't work. And, and regardless of your natural tendencies, wouldn't you agree?

00:06:03.080 Yeah, the, of course. And that's why we do those after action reviews so frequently. That's why you

00:06:08.100 built into the program, but a lot of guys just don't do it. They don't even think about it.

00:06:11.880 And I didn't for a long time either. You know, I just go about my business and it worked or it

00:06:16.840 didn't. And I never evaluate whether it worked or how it worked or how it failed or what specifically

00:06:21.220 went well, what didn't go so well. And the challenge is you can actually achieve success

00:06:28.100 without doing that. But that's, that's a, some people would say, no, it's a good thing. No,

00:06:32.940 that's not a good thing. That's, that's the reason it's not good is because as the saying goes,

00:06:41.600 you know, even the, you know, most unlucky get right twice, twice a day or whatever. Right. If you're

00:06:46.660 telling the time, right. It's like, it's like that you can't replicate it. That's the problem.

00:06:52.120 I don't want a one-time success. I think about this in this context of sports. You know, you look

00:06:57.780 at like Tony Gwynn or Ted Williams, some of the greatest baseball hitters specifically of all time

00:07:03.280 because they're consistent. It's not because they hit the most home runs. It's because they got on base

00:07:10.100 significantly more than any other player in the history of the game. And that's what I'm trying to

00:07:16.580 do is like, no, get on base. Every time you go up to bat and learn how to get on base,

00:07:22.520 learn how to replicate that. And granted, occasionally you'll hit a home run and we'll

00:07:26.520 take it. We like the home runs. We like the grand slams, but I want the base hits. I want the doubles

00:07:30.620 all day long. And then the occasional home run sprinkled in, but if I'm swinging for the fences,

00:07:35.140 like the odds of that working out are significantly lower than just hitting.

00:07:40.740 Yeah. That's not going to be as successful. Yeah.

00:07:42.420 Just have a good swing, swing the bat with the fundamentals and get on base as often as you can.

00:07:49.460 Everything else will take care of itself. If you evaluate it to your point earlier.

00:07:53.360 Yeah. Yeah. That's a good point. All right. Let's get to some questions.

00:07:56.460 Should we jump into it? Yeah. So we're going to field questions,

00:07:59.080 like I mentioned from the iron council to learn more about the IC and to be maybe sign up to be

00:08:06.180 notified of the next time we open up membership, go to orderofman.com slash iron council. First

00:08:12.380 question, Bobby, Katie, caddy. Sorry about it. What's your battle plan this quarter? We don't

00:08:19.420 hear much about what you guys are doing, uh, what you guys are crushing every day. So Bobby wants to

00:08:25.860 hear about what our battle plans are for this quarter. Yeah. I mean, do you have some, I don't

00:08:31.660 know that we need to get into all of them because that would take a long time, but do you want to

00:08:35.020 either go through your vision or your quadrants, or you want to go through an element of that?

00:08:39.600 Yeah. I'll share objective. One objective I have is, um, and I don't know where I picked this up,

00:08:45.540 but I'm constantly, it feels like I'm always flooding in data from places. And then I feel

00:08:50.060 bad because I never give credit to where I got it from. Um, so it may have come from you, Ryan,

00:08:55.700 or a book or, or something, but just the power of presence has been really present, uh, on my mind of

00:09:03.060 late. And, and that for me to take advantage of opportunities in my life, it's all about killing

00:09:11.320 it with what's on my lap, what I have available to me right now. And that has been very, um,

00:09:18.020 on my mind, a lot around my family, me killing it as a husband and a dad has to do with my presence

00:09:25.960 period. And, and not just like being, you know, we talked about this, it's being fully present with

00:09:31.520 my kids, with my spouse and everything. And so, um, so my objective, uh, this quarter is to increase

00:09:38.220 my effectiveness in the household. And, and that tactic is really around no social media,

00:09:43.880 um, after I get home. So I I'm turning off social media and I'm putting my phone away,

00:09:50.700 um, putting work away and I'm just engulfing myself, um, with my children and my spouse

00:09:56.340 appropriately. So nice. Yeah. I like that. Um, I I've got a couple different, obviously we,

00:10:02.720 we cover four objectives. I can cover a couple of here, uh, contribution, which is giving back

00:10:07.800 investing. It pertains to becoming a man of value. What I've been really focused on over the past,

00:10:13.800 I would say even six months and more so as we move into the next quarter is bringing in the right team

00:10:19.360 around me. So I've really spent a lot of time thinking about who is in the right place, uh,

00:10:26.060 who isn't in the right place. What are the resources and assets do I need to bring in?

00:10:30.340 Uh, what do I need to invest in to take this podcast and movement to the next level? Uh, so

00:10:35.760 in the past couple of weeks, I've, I've had somebody working with us. Uh, I brought her on even,

00:10:41.460 even more so we ramped up what she's going to be doing. And of course the compensation that comes with 1.00

00:10:45.860 it, uh, we're, we're really trying to build out. This is big for me right now is, and this is what

00:10:51.540 I'll be moving in a quarter to is our media team, making sure that we have social media covered,

00:10:57.700 uh, making sure that we have the video production covered, making sure that all the editing like

00:11:02.700 Chad Robeson takes care of that locked in and dialed in. Uh, and then we're going to be introducing

00:11:07.740 a new, um, a new segment to what we're doing. And I haven't decided on the, what it's going to be,

00:11:14.700 but I'm thinking something like spotlights. So this past week I went and met with Ethan

00:11:21.020 Suplee, Dave Rubin, Vic blends, and then Michael Chandler and Michael Chandler has a fight coming

00:11:26.420 up next month. So we, we went down to where he trains and we recorded all some of his training,

00:11:33.000 what he's doing. Him and I actually got to train a little bit. I saw that one super cool. Yeah.

00:11:38.900 You're like, no striking bro. What's this role? Yeah. I told him, I texted him. I said, um, Hey man,

00:11:45.220 like when we're down there, I want to, I want to train with you. And I think initially he didn't

00:11:50.460 respond back to that element of it. Cause we talked and I'm like, Oh, maybe he doesn't. Cause he's,

00:11:55.360 you know, training for a fight. Like, I don't want to hurt him. Not that I could hurt him,

00:11:58.720 but I don't want to do something stupid. It's so easy to get hurt. Right. 0.99

00:12:02.120 Well, and let's be honest. Like we even see this in origins, like guys like, Oh,

00:12:06.100 Ryan Mickler, I want to roll with you. Right. Like there's a little bit of this targetness and

00:12:11.100 let's be Frank. What are we doing? We're seeing how good we are. Like most of those guys aren't

00:12:16.280 like actively going, Hey, I want to roll with you to fill your style. It's like, I want to roll and

00:12:21.900 see if I'm better than you. Right. And so Chandler probably has it. I don't know. I think so. And

00:12:27.200 I think you're right. I think you're right. I didn't have that mentality at all.

00:12:31.880 I don't think you do, but he has to be concerned of that kind of guy going, Hey, what's, what's

00:12:37.380 train Chandler, you know, completely, completely. So I messaged him about, cause my intention was

00:12:42.980 not, I want to know how good I am. I'm like, I actually went in there. Like, I want to know

00:12:47.380 what it's like to roll with you. Totally. Yeah. I want to know what it's like to roll with somebody

00:12:53.580 who's elite level. Like how much better are you than the other people? Like that's, that's the

00:13:01.200 mentality I went into it with. Yeah. It'd be an honor to get smashed by him. You know what I mean?

00:13:06.220 You'd be like, yes, this is awesome. Yeah. So I'm messaging back and forth and I'm like, Hey,

00:13:11.460 look, bro, I get it. If you don't want to train, I get it. You got a fight coming up. I like, I'm,

00:13:16.260 I won't be a spaz. Like I'm I'll be controlled because it's the spazzoids who get you in trouble. 1.00

00:13:21.640 It's not the, it's not the guys who've been in it for a long time. Yeah. It's the unpredictable

00:13:25.860 guy that gets you. Yes. Yeah. And so I said, I'll, I'll be controlled. Like we'll go smooth

00:13:30.760 or whatever. And I was teasing him. Cause when I met, when I met with him, I'm like, man,

00:13:35.940 cause eventually he said, yeah, let's do it. We'll just go. We'll go slow. We'll, we'll, we'll roll.

00:13:41.500 We'll do some wrestling jujitsu, but we'll do it. We'll do it slow, smooth. I'm like, cool. No problem.

00:13:45.820 Um, so we didn't even go, you know, we don't go a hundred percent. And, uh, and it was funny

00:13:52.100 cause I messaged him and I, or when we were talking, I said, I'm glad you accepted my request.

00:13:56.740 And he's like, Oh really? Why is that? And I said, because I had it on a text thread that if you

00:14:02.620 turn down me training with you, I was going to blast it out to the world and say, Mike Chandler

00:14:09.600 didn't accept my, uh, didn't accept my request to go fight him. He just dodged me. Yeah. He

00:14:16.920 exactly. Yeah, exactly. But no, it was cool. Um, and so we're going to do, the reason I brought that

00:14:23.280 up is we're going to do these short spotlight segments where there's a lot of video footage

00:14:28.860 of Chandler training, what his regimen is and that sort of thing. And then we sat down for 15 minutes

00:14:34.580 or so in front of his octagon at his, his cage at his training center. And we just talked like we

00:14:40.600 were old buddies. So we did that with him. We did that with Ethan suplee. Uh, it was awesome, man.

00:14:46.400 It was so cool. So that's that anyways, that's, that's what I'm focusing on, on contribution.

00:14:52.400 Uh, condition is really trying to dial in my body fat. Um, I've been training a lot with jujitsu.

00:14:58.500 I've been lifting and I feel bigger and stronger, but my, to be frank, my diet is horrendous. Like

00:15:06.580 it's, and I've been traveling a lot and I'm not trying to use that as an excuse. I'm just trying

00:15:10.260 to say that's a reason for, for my horrendous diet, but just with added weight and body fat percent,

00:15:17.160 like I really got to lock that in. So I I'm going to be hiring a nutritionist. I've got a couple of

00:15:22.660 conversations this week, in fact, for that. Uh, so that's, that's condition. Um, and then with,

00:15:29.260 with, uh, connection, which is the relationship component, it's building out high caliber

00:15:34.300 relationships with guests that I want to have on. So that the, the tactics around that are reaching

00:15:40.460 out to high caliber people, um, reaching out to those individuals we've had on the podcast and

00:15:45.820 asking for recommendations. We've been hyper-focused on who we want to have on the podcast. In fact,

00:15:51.320 hold on one second. Nobody knows about this yet, but next, I think it's next. It's either next week

00:15:57.680 or the week after this is the individual we have coming on the podcast. Mr. Terry Cruz, man,

00:16:03.440 it's coming on the podcast. So he just sent me the book and he's coming on. So we're bro,

00:16:09.420 we're ramping this up. Like we're taking this thing to the next level. And so the connection,

00:16:13.100 uh, quadrant is revolved around bringing the right people onto the podcast who have a message,

00:16:20.120 maybe a different message. We haven't heard before a different perspective. So yeah,

00:16:25.400 lots of exciting stuff. So I know this is not the question by Bobby, but I, I'm sure everyone

00:16:31.060 listening is kind of, you know, wants a little clarity on the spotlight is the objective there

00:16:35.940 really is to drive inspiration, right? That, that I can watch this five minute video on Chandler

00:16:42.080 about how he's showing up as a man and, and really be able to relate to that. Like, I mean,

00:16:47.680 let's be frank. That's what the podcast interview is, right? It's a conversational version.

00:16:52.740 And is this a video version of that with the intent that we're, we're driving knowledge and

00:16:58.400 inspiration from these individuals that you choose to spotlight? Is that the idea?

00:17:03.360 Yeah, for sure. I mean, I want guys to be motivated, inspired by the guys they're

00:17:06.880 hearing from and learning from, but I also want to see, I personally want to see these guys in their

00:17:12.380 element. And I think the people who are listening, although they may not have an opportunity to go

00:17:16.840 train with Michael Chandler or lift with Ethan Suplee or Google build knives with Josh Smith or shoot

00:17:23.840 archery with John Dudley or, or Jack Carr that they can still get an element of that, a piece of what

00:17:31.900 that would be like. So from a consumer standpoint, I want the men who are listening to be able to tap

00:17:39.340 into a 10 to 15 minute segment and feel motivated and inspired, like by some elite people in their,

00:17:46.940 in their chosen field. But then from a business standpoint, I want to be very clear about this too,

00:17:52.740 is we do hour plus long conversations with our podcast guests. And so there's going to be a subset

00:17:59.480 of people who are going to listen to an hour plus, and there's going to be other people who are like,

00:18:03.220 I don't have an hour, but I have 15 minutes. And so if we can give them a bite-sized segment in a

00:18:08.560 different format, a different feel, something that's more conversational, like you'd be either

00:18:13.740 a fly on the wall or you're actually sitting in the room with these guys, then that's what I want

00:18:19.120 to make is available to hit everybody, to give everybody what it is they're, they might be looking

00:18:24.520 for specifically. Got it. Cool, man. I'm excited for that. That's going to be cool. It's going to be

00:18:30.240 really cool. Super cool. All right. Greg Ray, how do you go about finding the right business

00:18:35.620 coach slash mentor? And what should you expect from the process? So finding a good coach and

00:18:41.080 mentor recommendations. Well, the first thing you need to do in finding a mentor is know what you want.

00:18:48.200 Specifically, because if you said, well, I just want to learn how to grow my business.

00:18:52.320 Wrong answer. I just want to get in shape. Wrong answer. I just want to make more money. Wrong answer.

00:19:00.720 What do you mean? Now, if we take getting in shape, for example, and you said, well, Ryan,

00:19:06.440 I really want to, I want to run a marathon. Okay. Now we're getting specific.

00:19:12.720 Right. Or if you said, I want to start, instead of, I want to start a business, you say, I want to start

00:19:16.300 a podcast centered around X, Y, and Z. And I want to know how best to do that. That's a better answer.

00:19:23.300 Got it. So the first thing you need to do is get, and I know what Greg does. Greg puts together,

00:19:27.900 he's a, does long range firearms schools and instruction, and he does hunting. He puts

00:19:36.000 together hunting programs for guys who have been hunting for a while and guys who have never hunted

00:19:39.980 at all and teaches them how to zero in and sight in their rifles, how to go out and shoot pigs or

00:19:45.140 bears or deer or elk or whatever they're doing. And then break the animal down, learn how to process it

00:19:51.080 effectively, and then actually prepare meals with the mood meat that you just, you just, uh,

00:19:56.120 uh, procured. So when you're thinking about mentorship, there's a lot of aspects of your

00:20:04.820 life that it could be. And what you want is you want a specialist. I don't, I don't know that I

00:20:11.860 totally subscribe to the idea of I'm a life coach. I don't know what that means. I don't like broadly

00:20:18.800 and generally, I mean, maybe a therapist would be helpful for that because they can work you

00:20:22.360 through some things. But when you just say you're a life coach, what are you talking about? Like

00:20:27.320 you're, you're, you're talking about planning out my day. You're talking about feeling better. You're

00:20:32.580 talking about efficiencies in my business. What, what specifically you're talking about?

00:20:37.160 So what I'm going to look for when I look for mentors is, okay, I want to grow the video

00:20:43.900 production quality of our business. Okay. And that's going to lead to a lot of different things,

00:20:50.420 but because I'm hyper specific about that, I can actually go out and target individuals who either,

00:20:56.360 and here's the second answer to that, to that question, who either are doing it themselves.

00:21:04.440 Okay. So if I want to learn to get better at jujitsu, I'm not going to reach out to a white belt. 0.99

00:21:09.800 I'm going to reach out to a black belt. And actually I'm not going to reach out to a black 1.00

00:21:14.560 belt that doesn't like, ideally I would find a black belt who has the same style and body type as

00:21:22.020 me. Yeah, totally. Right. Because that like Kip, you and I train jujitsu completely different.

00:21:29.200 Like if you're telling me I got to flip around and I got to like do back flips and stretch my legs

00:21:34.760 into positions, they don't belong. I think it's awesome. I'm not going to do that. But if you're

00:21:41.040 like, Hey, let me teach you how to smash past people effectively and just tweak these few things

00:21:46.340 about your game. Let me, let me take you as a big bodied guy, a big framed, I should say.

00:21:53.200 Yeah. And your game's going to be a little slower, a little more methodical, a little more physical

00:21:58.560 than your game is Kip. Like I want to learn from that guy because he knows how to do it with my body

00:22:03.980 type and what's good for me. Maybe, maybe I'm wrong. Maybe you want to learn from somebody

00:22:08.100 else, but that's what I'm thinking. Yeah. But, but I think your, your analogy is perfect in the

00:22:13.520 sense of it needs to be specialist in regards to whatever it is that you're specifically looking

00:22:19.060 for. Right. Right. Absolutely. So, so, and so the second part of that, I said, either find somebody

00:22:26.460 who's doing it themselves to the degree that you want to do it and, or they have a track record of

00:22:32.360 doing it for somebody else. So the example I was using that scenario is Tim Grover, world-class

00:22:39.100 athletic coach, coached Michael Jordan, coached Kobe Bryant, Kobe Bryant, Dwayne Wade, I believe

00:22:48.180 like he's coached these, these miraculous, these amazing basketball, some of the greatest basketball

00:22:53.160 players, the greatest basketball players of all time. Yeah. Can he play basketball as well

00:22:57.980 as Michael Jordan? No way, not a chance in hell with all the respect to Tim. No, because it's a

00:23:08.120 different skillset. He doesn't need to know how to play basketball as well as Michael Jordan to be

00:23:14.080 able to coach Michael. It's a different skillset. So you need to either find somebody who's either

00:23:18.360 producing it for themselves or they have a track record of producing it for other people.

00:23:23.280 Yeah. And if you can have those couple of things, you know, exactly what you want. You have somebody

00:23:28.860 who's producing it for themselves and, or for other people. And then the third part of that question

00:23:33.900 is what to expect. That's what you need to talk with them about. I'm not going to tell you,

00:23:38.820 but you need to say, Hey, what can I expect? What results can I, can I expect to see? How long is this

00:23:45.640 going to take when, when things aren't going right? What are you going to tell me? Uh, how are you going to

00:23:52.260 keep me on the path? What do you expect from me? How often do I need to check in with you?

00:23:56.940 So I'm not going to answer that question specifically, but what I will tell you is you

00:24:00.760 need to ask really good questions about how this process will go about what their expectations are

00:24:07.500 for them and what they have for you and decide if that's a fit or not. That's where the interviewing

00:24:12.380 comes into play. Yeah. That's great, Ryan, because I was going to ask like how much you would

00:24:18.000 evaluate style into this, because as I've, as I've looked and thought about like a coach and a mentor,

00:24:26.180 you know, some individuals come to mind. I'm like, Oh, he would be a great mentor, but I'm like,

00:24:30.880 but he's going to tell me what I want to hear. And I don't want someone that will tell me what I want

00:24:37.680 to hear. I want someone to call me out when I'm acting like a bitch. Does it make sense? And, 1.00

00:24:43.500 and be a little bit more hard nosed with me, not someone that's a little bit like, Oh, you're,

00:24:48.180 you're doing great. And you know what I mean? Like I want the opposite type of style, if that

00:24:52.340 makes sense. And I think that would be covered in those expectations of how's the conversation

00:24:57.620 going to go, Ryan, when it goes South and I'm not doing what you expect me to do. Like what does

00:25:02.700 that look like typically? Right. And understanding those specific expectations. So last night, my wife and

00:25:09.340 I watched hoarders. Have you ever seen that show? Hoarders? Hoarders? Hoarders. Hoarders. No.

00:25:15.320 Okay. Well, you guys all know what it is. People who hoard and teach them how to get rid of that

00:25:19.500 pattern of whatever they're doing. Anyways, it's like to coach people that get them to stop being

00:25:25.020 hoarders. Is that the idea? It's to coach them. And then it's to clean up their mess. Cause a lot of

00:25:29.540 cases, their houses are condemned by the city and they're having like violations and there's health

00:25:35.120 issues. So I'm watching the show last night. And one of the guys is a, I don't, I think he said

00:25:41.420 clinically licensed hoarding specialist therapist or something like that. Right. Yeah. I think that's

00:25:48.420 good. Like that's a specific skillset I'm sure. And the amount of patients this man had was

00:25:54.220 unbelievable. I'd be like, what? I couldn't do it. So kudos to him. But when people, when the hoarder

00:26:01.100 lady was talking, he was like, how does that, and how does that make you feel?

00:26:06.820 And, and what do you know? What do you feel about that? And how do you process that?

00:26:10.720 And I'm thinking in that situation, it's probably right. But if anybody said that to me, I'd be like,

00:26:15.320 F off. Like, I don't need that. Like, I need you to tell me what's wrong or what's right and how I can

00:26:19.680 do it better. I don't need this fluffy fairytale bullshit. Again, I'm not saying it's wrong. I'm really 0.99

00:26:25.880 not. I'm saying from my personality, like, I don't want you to be like, how does it make,

00:26:30.800 I'm pissed obviously. So what do we do about it? That's what I want to know. And that's a different

00:26:35.560 style, you know? So the style to your, to your point is an important consideration.

00:26:40.960 Yeah. Ian Beck, I have just accepted a new job as a training and development manager at my work,

00:26:47.860 which is in manufacturing. Do you have any advice in my new career path? I originally was the

00:26:53.720 fabrication supervisor. So I know the product very well, but not so much about individual

00:26:59.660 development and designing a program. Okay. So the first question he asked,

00:27:04.900 I was actually going to hit on the second question he asked, which is, do you have any advice?

00:27:09.680 Not a great question. This is, it's really not. Yeah. Any advice about what, right? But then he got

00:27:15.480 more specific. And so he hit on that. I just want to reiterate and hash on that as I have in the past,

00:27:20.200 the more specific you can get with your line of questioning, the more specific your answers

00:27:24.840 will be. So he said, he's not great at the product development stuff. Is that, did I hear that right?

00:27:29.720 Learning and development, right? So he's a supervisor. He understands their product really

00:27:33.740 well, but now he's in a position to provide training and development to other employees.

00:27:39.280 Got it.

00:27:39.800 And he's looking for advice in that space.

00:27:42.360 So there's a book called E-Myth that I really like that hits on this.

00:27:47.640 Great book.

00:27:48.560 And a lot of times what ends up happening when you're really good at your job

00:27:52.460 is you get promoted to lead other people, but the leadership component is different than the

00:27:59.820 technical application of installing a roof, for example. Now you got to lead people to get them

00:28:07.040 and to install roofs. And just because you were good at putting roofs on houses, doesn't mean that

00:28:12.260 you're going to be good at teaching other people how to do that effectively. So I think we're running

00:28:18.360 into that a little bit. So read E-Myth, that's a great book. The other thing is I would say more

00:28:24.060 of a soft skill that would be valuable to learn is just to listen without interjecting. And so Kip,

00:28:30.800 if I'm, we're just take installing roofs, cause that's the analogy I was going with. I'm a great roof

00:28:36.520 installer. You're a good roof installer. Maybe you're just getting started.

00:28:39.900 And I'm elevated to the position of leadership. I don't really need to go to you and teach you

00:28:45.740 like all the inner workings and ins and outs of installing a roof. I mean, obviously that's

00:28:49.840 important. Let's not dismiss that. I do need to teach you the tech. There's a baseline knowledge

00:28:54.380 you need to know. Yeah. But as a supervisor, actually what I should be doing is asking you

00:28:59.420 questions like, Hey Kip, why are you here? What's your goal for being here? Why do you like this work?

00:29:06.440 Where do you see yourself in five years? When you, when you leave, like, and you check out at

00:29:13.180 the end of the day, how do you, how do you measure what was a good day? How do you measure what was a

00:29:17.740 bad day? Tell me about your last boss. How was he or she, were they a good employer? Were they a bad

00:29:23.980 employer? What made them good? What made them bad? What did you like? What didn't you like? When were

00:29:28.820 you the happiest? You see, these are the kinds of questions that I wish more leaders would ask of

00:29:33.400 their, we'll just call them subordinates, their employees, whatever, because then you start to

00:29:37.740 know what makes you Kip tick. And if I know what makes you tick, like, Hey Ryan, I take value in

00:29:43.480 seeing this house built and, and knowing that there's a family under here and they're happy and

00:29:49.380 that I'm doing work. I really like working with my hands. Um, it's really important to me that I'm

00:29:54.180 capable. And I start hearing this kind of stuff from you. Then the way that I talk with you is going

00:29:59.400 to revolve around that. Like, Hey, Kip takes pride and satisfaction in a job well done in being

00:30:06.560 capable in seeing a family that's happy with his work. He takes pride in his work and somebody else

00:30:12.860 quite honestly might say, you know what? Like I just needed a job and I couldn't get hired anywhere

00:30:19.200 else. And these guys gave me a chance and I just want to prove like I can do it. And that that's not

00:30:25.060 wrong. Nothing wrong with that, but you're going to talk to that person differently than I'm going

00:30:29.620 to talk with you. So the more that you can understand what people's motives and intentions

00:30:34.100 and personalities and desires are, yeah, the roof stuff. Sure. Yeah. You got to teach them that stuff.

00:30:39.940 But outside of that, it's the deeper things that are really going to make a difference for you as a

00:30:44.480 leader and how you're going to be able to motivate and inspire your team. Because what I need to tell you

00:30:48.880 to get motivated might be, Hey Kip, look, this rivet on this roof is, it's not straight. Like

00:30:55.400 I know you take pride in what you do and it's really important to you. So we're going to have

00:31:01.080 to redo this because we want to, we want to make it look perfect. Right. And then Joe, I might say,

00:31:07.600 Hey Joe, I know you want to get out of here to be with your family. I know your family's really

00:31:11.740 important and you want to clock out right at time. So what that means is we got to do it right the

00:31:15.800 first time. So we don't have to spend any extra time here than necessary to completely different

00:31:22.540 ways to approach it. Both equally important, depending on who you're talking with.

00:31:27.300 Yeah. I call this the, your, your employee love language. And if you guys just search like

00:31:33.160 intrinsic motivators, you'll learn that it's drastically different for everybody. In fact,

00:31:37.880 we were having this conversation in our leadership team here. No employee ever leaves a company

00:31:43.660 because they're going to get paid more somewhere else. It's usually a combination of these other

00:31:50.160 intrinsic motivators that they're checking out. Does it make sense? And then that's more appealing.

00:31:55.660 And, and usually salary is not a high intrinsic motivator. It's usually a feeling of six,

00:32:03.960 a fulfillment in my job or being recognized for a job. Well done. It's, it's usually these other

00:32:09.320 things now. Don't get me wrong. That's not enough, right? You can't pay someone shit and have be

00:32:14.300 out of alignment with that because eventually it's just not going to jive for them, but to keep 0.99

00:32:20.540 someone committed and bought in and excited about their job, you got to know that corporate love

00:32:25.560 language, you know, whatever that is. And, and those, those are typically called intrinsic motivators.

00:32:30.020 So yeah. Yep. Yeah. If you don't want me to add in a couple more things for, Oh, go ahead. Sorry.

00:32:36.320 I was just saying there's a lot of good information. It sounds like you might have some go for it.

00:32:39.400 Yeah. So, so Ian, um, from a learning and development perspective, like when I think about

00:32:44.900 like training people, I would start looking at how universities and schools are failed in training

00:32:54.120 people. Um, if you search, uh, a concept called Bloom's taxonomy, it's a hierarchy by which people

00:33:01.840 learn the lowest level of that is my ability to regurgitate information. That's not what you want

00:33:08.580 your employees to be able to do. That is worthless in the workplace, right? My ability to recite on how

00:33:14.660 to put shingles on a roof, but, but being unable to actually do it does not provide me good learning

00:33:21.720 to development, right? For a roofing company. So you got to, right. But you still do need,

00:33:26.700 you still do need to know how to put a shingle on a roof. Like there is some information, but that's

00:33:34.420 baseline is what you're saying. Yeah. Well, baseline is my ability to, to share what I memorized with you.

00:33:40.920 Got it. That doesn't mean I know how to do it, right? Those are two different things. And so I would

00:33:46.080 really focus on this concept of action learning. How do you get people to learn and apply it

00:33:53.180 immediately. And, and I can't, man, this gets me all riled up when I start thinking about this,

00:33:58.520 but the idea of you putting someone through a formalized training process, that's like eight

00:34:03.660 weeks long. And then at the end of their training, all of a sudden they're going to remember shit that 0.98

00:34:09.420 you taught them eight weeks earlier is not an effective way to do things, right? Action learning 0.97

00:34:15.380 implies that when I give you content, you need to be able to relate it directly to a scenario

00:34:20.920 and apply it immediately. When you do that, you'll retain it. So how do you get these guys to do their

00:34:28.200 learning as part of their action and not necessarily give them a brain dump of a ton of content and then

00:34:34.560 throw them into the workforce and expect them to be able to like, remember what you showed them eight

00:34:39.480 weeks earlier. So can I give you an example of that? Yeah. Yeah. For sure. My wife, I've been teasing

00:34:44.940 her about it. Her and a good friend of hers, uh, signed up for a fly fishing course and up here in

00:34:51.660 Maine. And I was like, wait, you're going to go fly fishing in Maine. Like everything's still frozen.

00:34:58.280 And I'm like, how, how, how are you going to do that? How are you going to? Yeah. And she was like,

00:35:02.500 oh no, we're going to a class to learn about fly fishing. And I was like, wait, you're going,

00:35:07.960 so you're going to a fly fishing class, but you're not going to fly fish. And she's like, no, 0.56

00:35:13.660 they're going to teach us how to fly fish. I'm like, don't you think a better place to do that

00:35:17.140 would be on the river or on the, like, I mean, yes, you need to know how to fly, tie a fly for

00:35:23.280 sure. Or you need to know how to cast it to 10, but it's not brain surgery. I don't, I don't

00:35:30.420 understand. She's like, well, we go to this and then a couple of months, then we do our second

00:35:34.540 class, which is out in the field. I'm like, that's wrong. It's a hundred percent wrong.

00:35:38.760 Who would do that? Honestly, I need to look this guy up. And if you're listening,

00:35:42.820 you and I need to have a conversation about this. Like you're, you're going to take people

00:35:47.720 out of the great outdoors, which is part of the, actually the only reason you'd be out fly fishing

00:35:53.100 and you're going to pull them into a classroom to teach them to 10, to teach them a basic, not

00:36:01.020 for flying tying a fly to your, to your line. Like you're, you're, you're doing a huge disservice

00:36:09.780 to your people. Go out, teach them one, not the only, not they need to know that's going to take

00:36:15.540 you 15 minutes, then have them tie it onto their pole. You go and check it. And then when you're

00:36:21.060 done with that, teach them the two to 10 method or like whatever your method is. Yeah. And then have

00:36:26.240 them go catch a fricking fish. Yeah. Here, here's a perfect example. So they're going to sit in a

00:36:32.260 classroom and I don't know if this is true, but I'm just imagining they're going to sit in a

00:36:35.780 classroom. They're going to sit on a chair and they're going to have a table and then they're

00:36:39.740 going to like do this whole, like, but they'll do the not sitting at a chair in a table. And they'll

00:36:45.800 be like, Oh man, I'm sufficient at this. And then they'll go out by the river and go, Oh, this is

00:36:50.620 kind of a pain in the ass. I don't have the table, my table, right? Where's my chair. Right. And then it's 0.99

00:36:55.560 like, no, this is awkward. And then there's this element. The element is different, right? The

00:37:00.580 circumstance is different. And now I learned something that was in a, an environment that's

00:37:06.160 not applicable to real life. Right. Oh man. This is why we do our events. Kip, the way that we do them

00:37:11.300 is think about our jujitsu courses when we do our events. Yeah. Like we don't sit at the barn

00:37:18.700 and pontificate on how to be a jujitsu player and show like diagrams for you to learn.

00:37:25.260 Yeah. Like we literally go over to Jocko fuels in their warehouse and we throw out mats and there's

00:37:32.500 80 of us. And we, you know, we talk, Hey, here's some basic thing. Now go try it, go do it. And

00:37:38.260 they go do it. And then we walk around. You're like, you're getting that right. You're missing

00:37:41.300 this, tweak this, adjust that. And then we do that five times or whatever. And then we're like,

00:37:45.300 all right, now you're going to roll a hundred percent live with somebody. And you're going to try

00:37:49.040 to implement what we just showed you. Exactly. Exactly. And, and this is why I hate conferences.

00:37:55.480 No, let me say one other thing first. This is why I hate traditional conferences.

00:37:59.940 Even these like guru Insta guru conferences, like come to this hotel or this conference center

00:38:05.620 and listen to me yap at you for four days. What in the world makes you think that I want to sit

00:38:12.760 at a hotel conference center and listen about how wonderful and how great you are. I don't want to

00:38:19.300 listen to that. And by the way, if you're a public speaker, I'll say this too. Don't ever introduce

00:38:24.620 yourself on stage. Don't do that. All right. That's the MC's job. And it's your job to do a good

00:38:32.600 enough job on your presentation that you don't have to regurgitate how wonderful you are. Don't do that.

00:38:38.040 Number two, don't yap at people without getting them involved in the process. This is why our

00:38:44.320 events are so much better because you're not going to sit here and listen to us yap at you for four

00:38:48.980 days. We're actually going to go out and do shit. And then we're going to learn in real world scenarios. 1.00

00:38:54.740 Perfect. Man, I love it. And, and one last thought when you deliver to the data is just as critical.

00:39:01.780 So, and this is an example I use. I've used this example so many times and I've gotten good

00:39:06.880 feedback. So I'll, I'll share it here. So first time I went surfing, uh, it was actually on my

00:39:11.820 honeymoon and I'm not comfortable in the water. Like I actually know a lot of people don't know

00:39:16.220 about this. I didn't learn how to swim until like middle school and, and it was almost high school.

00:39:21.800 And the only, and the way I, the reason why I learned how to swim, because I wanted to jump off

00:39:26.820 the diving board and I was tired of my T my classmates mocking me for being unable to swim. And the way I

00:39:33.420 swam across the pool link to justify jumping off the diving board was to float on my back. That,

00:39:38.680 that is how I, that is my learning of, so I am uncomfortable naturally under the water. Like

00:39:44.100 it kind of scares me a little bit. And, um, but I'm on my honeymoon and, and Asia's like, let's go 0.88

00:39:50.620 surfing. And, and I'm, I'll be honest, I was scared shitless, but you know, I had to like protect my ego

00:39:57.460 and I'm like, Oh yeah, yeah. Let's surf. You know, I'm thinking I'm going to die. Right. And, um,

00:40:03.320 we show up and these waves look massive. Like at the time I remember thinking I'm going to die on

00:40:09.920 my honeymoon. Like this sucks. Right. And I'm super scared and I don't want to tell her because my ego 0.99

00:40:14.820 and we're getting ready. And I was so bad, right? Like I didn't even know how to get out into the

00:40:19.960 water. Right. Like waves would come in and I'm like trying to paddle out. And she's like, what are you

00:40:24.900 doing? You got to wait until that sets over. You know what I mean? So you can even, uh, yes,

00:40:30.860 I just, there's so much stuff I didn't know. Anyhow, at one point she says, Oh, she's like

00:40:37.420 really quick. I almost forgot. If you ever get disoriented in the water, like you're not sure

00:40:43.560 what's up and down, reach down and grab the leash on your ankle and follow it up to the board.

00:40:49.440 And I'm like, okay. And then I went out, I got eaten alive by a wave and I'm swimming for the

00:41:00.120 surface. And I, and I started getting panicky, like I'm going to drown. And then all of a sudden

00:41:04.880 I remember what she said. Oh yeah, that's right. Grab the leash. So I grabbed the leash,

00:41:09.380 totally took me a different direction, but like up was that way. And I was swimming this way. Right.

00:41:13.920 Like, and I'm thinking, Holy shit. If she didn't tell me that, like what I have drowned, 0.99

00:41:20.160 like what I have drowned in this ocean. You know what I mean? If she didn't tell me,

00:41:24.440 this is what we do all the time in, especially in corporate America, we send out some email about,

00:41:31.820 Hey, if you happen to go surfing sometime, remember to do X and everyone goes, what? Well,

00:41:37.640 I'm not surfing right now. So I'm going to delete that email or I'm going to file that shit away. 0.99

00:41:42.560 And when I go surfing in a year, do you think I remember that advice? 0.99

00:41:46.580 No, of course not. No. And then I lose it. And so how we deliver information or how we act on

00:41:52.780 information is so critical. We talk about this from a book perspective, right? Well, you and I can read

00:41:57.460 some great books, but if we don't immediately go after that book, and I've, I've taken this from you,

00:42:03.060 Ryan and have some dog ears and go, okay, now that I've read this book, what am I going to do in my

00:42:08.720 personal life based upon what I just read? If I don't do that, I'm not going to remember that shit 1.00

00:42:13.980 six months from now. I'm not going to remember that a year from now is it was almost a waste of 0.99

00:42:19.220 my time. If I don't apply it through action almost immediately. Well, what's better reading 20 books this

00:42:28.860 year and doing nothing or reading one book and applying it to its fullest? Totally.

00:42:37.460 By the way, I have a book coming out later this year. So that's the one book that you should read

00:42:42.300 this entire year. All that's required. Yeah. That's all that's required. You can read a few

00:42:47.180 leading up to it just to prep yourself for what's coming in the fall. You're reading skills. Yeah.

00:42:51.360 But I promise this is going to be the only book you're going to need to read. And between that and

00:42:56.400 my previous book, like there's not really much else to read really at this point, that's really

00:43:02.700 what, why we're here. Um, do you have a release date yet? Or, I mean, any teaser from that perspective

00:43:07.520 or just, uh, I think it's the end of September. I don't know for sure. I think it's the end of

00:43:11.400 September is when the book is coming out. And I don't know if I can give the title or whatever,

00:43:15.700 like people have actually, people have screenshotted things that they found. Like one guy

00:43:20.920 screenshot of me this morning. He's like, bro, this book looks awesome. And I pull it up and

00:43:24.620 it's my book. And I'm like, wait, where did you even see this? He's like, it's at our local library.

00:43:31.140 Like as a, as a new release coming out in the fall. I'm like, that's crazy. So it's out there.

00:43:36.900 You guys can find it due to the publisher advertising early. I don't think they're advertising. I think

00:43:43.220 they're talking with public, uh, um, distribution channels and they have to give them information

00:43:50.900 to see if these distribution channels want to buy it. What, what, I don't know the process.

00:43:54.500 Yeah. I think some of it's kind of leaking out there, which is kind of interesting.

00:43:58.060 That is interesting. Cool. All right. Have we only answered like three questions? All right. We'll do

00:44:03.600 better. We'll do quicker. Uh, Ben Lewis, how do you choose or prioritize your goals and objectives

00:44:09.060 to focus on every 12 weeks, as opposed to other things you want? How do you decide to choose one

00:44:15.040 over the other? I'm, I'm lazy by nature personally. So the way that I choose is what's going to be the

00:44:23.180 easiest thing to do. That's going to yield the biggest result. I don't know if that's lazy though,

00:44:28.900 right? I mean, that just seems, I mean, minimal effort for biggest result is kind of just logically

00:44:34.420 good idea. I think, I think it is, you know, so I'll look at, so what I'll do, let's get tactical

00:44:42.040 on this. Yeah. Uh, let's take fitness for example. So I told you, I really need to lock in my diet.

00:44:49.080 I'm trying to lose weight and that sort of thing. So if my goal is to lose weight, I can, I'm going to

00:44:55.200 write down all the things I could do specifically. I can do CrossFit. I can do jujitsu. I can move from

00:45:01.300 three days a week to five days a week. I can run, I can walk, I can increase the steps, cut out sugar.

00:45:08.160 I can stop eating after seven o'clock. I can do intermittent fasting. I could do keto. I could do

00:45:12.660 this like a thousand things, right? So what I look at is if I know that my objective is to lose

00:45:21.120 body fat percentage, then is it going to be exercise for me? No, it's not because I actually

00:45:27.880 exercise quite a bit. I'm talking five, six days a week, excuse me, between jujitsu and, uh, and

00:45:34.700 CrossFit a couple of days a week. And then we're just an active family. So that's not it. If it's

00:45:42.160 eating, if it's like, for me, it's cutting out sugar. That's the lowest hanging fruit. If I can cut out

00:45:49.480 sugar and processed foods specifically in the form of bread, chips, that like pasta, carbs, carbs,

00:45:57.940 carbs, for me, that's what it, that's not for everybody. And I know people are going to be like,

00:46:02.780 well, you need carbs. I know I don't need all the carbs though. And that's, that's my challenge.

00:46:08.060 I'm having all of them. So, uh, right. So the lowest hang, the priority for me is, okay,

00:46:15.720 clean that diet up. Like go from this level of carbs to this level of carbs and eat in a certain

00:46:22.660 window. So you don't overeat. And look, some of you got like, well, intermittent fasting,

00:46:26.660 we're intermittent fasting. Does it, you know why it works for me? Because I overeat at night.

00:46:32.080 Yeah. When I, when the kids are in bed and my work is done and I'm chilling, reading a book or

00:46:38.100 watching a show or spending time with my wife, I'm like, get out the chips and salsa, get out the

00:46:43.000 crackers, get out of this, get out of that. Let's eat. And so for me, it's not that it works because

00:46:49.260 biologically, it's the best thing to do. It may or may not be that's irrelevant.

00:46:53.520 It works for me because that's when I overeat. So if I cut out that window, yes, your, your card

00:47:00.060 count, because you only have a small window, right? Yeah. And not just a small window. I cut it. It's not

00:47:07.920 that. I cut out the window where I eat the most. Oh, I see the window you give yourself is, is not

00:47:16.340 when you typically would have a lot of carbs. Got it. That's right. Your fasting window is when you

00:47:21.440 would typically eat carbs. So if my eating takes place from, let's say 11 o'clock to five 30 or six,

00:47:30.020 my biggest windows for eating are like nine o'clock at night. And so if I cut that out,

00:47:38.120 naturally I'm going to eat less, right? Cause I don't have time to eat chips and salsa during the

00:47:42.360 day. Like I'm busy, I'm doing work. Sometimes I don't even eat lunch. Right. But now if I know my

00:47:47.620 windows here, okay, well I got to eat lunch and I, and I got to do these things. And I, and then I tend

00:47:53.180 to eat the right food cause I'll go down and I'll grill some, something that, you know, we we've shot or

00:47:57.660 we have whatever. That's just good for me. So the priority is looking at what your biggest

00:48:04.020 challenges are and your distractions and your temptations and eliminating those.

00:48:10.960 And then doing the thing that's going to move the needle the most. It's not working out for me

00:48:15.900 because I already have that on lock. That's not an issue. But again, for me, it's like, don't eat

00:48:22.060 past seven and cut out the processed sugars. I know if I do that, bro, I'm golden. I'm golden.

00:48:29.300 And that's why that's a priority. Now let's take it in a different context. Let's say it's

00:48:34.360 relationships. So I've got four kids. I'm married. You know, I've got a lot of business relationships.

00:48:40.120 I'll look at it and think, all right, Kip, you and I, our relationship is pretty good. You know,

00:48:46.780 if we, if we don't talk for, you know, three or five days or whatever, like not the end of the world,

00:48:51.680 no worries. We're going to catch up next week and we'll hit it off right back where we were.

00:48:55.640 If I don't do that with my wife, that's a problem. Yeah. Right. If I'm traveling so much

00:49:01.780 that I'm not home with my kids, that's a problem. So low hanging fruit is not our relationship,

00:49:06.600 Kip, as much as I want to have this relationship. That's not the issue. That's not the biggest

00:49:11.460 point. The biggest point right now is I traveling a lot. So I haven't seen my wife. So I really need

00:49:17.640 to make sure I've invest in her and do date night once a week because I haven't been doing that.

00:49:24.640 Or I've noticed with my kids at times, I tend to pour a lot of energy into one over the other.

00:49:30.440 And so I'll look at it and say, you know, Brecken's got a lot of my attention over the past couple

00:49:34.280 of months. I really need to pour some energy into my daughter. And so she gets a lot of my time and 1.00

00:49:39.260 energy and attention. And I focus on her and put that forth to her because that's where it's lacking.

00:49:44.560 So I'm trying to shore up some of those weaknesses. That's how I prioritize anyways.

00:49:50.580 Steve, good child. Thank you for your time to read my question. You're welcome, by the way.

00:49:56.060 How do you communicate to your spouse that you want to be more successful in your work and business

00:50:01.100 and as a husband and father and leader? When your spouse says that they are a hundred percent

00:50:05.840 satisfied with exactly the way things are. I know most people would say, heck, I wish I had that

00:50:11.160 problem. I know I'm blessed beyond belief to have a wife like this. However, I all, I have always been

00:50:18.320 a hard charger and I always want to be the best I can. Now that my wife, now to my wife's credit,

00:50:23.560 she is content and happy with life that we have built. She is nervous about change and wants life to

00:50:29.980 stay consistent while I want to push my limits and be better. Thanks again.

00:50:36.720 It's a good question. It's very interesting. It is a good question.

00:50:39.880 I don't, I don't think, and we've talked about this before. I don't think being satisfied and

00:50:45.340 content with where you are is at odds with wanting to be better and wanting to have more and wanting

00:50:50.940 to do more and impact more people. A lot of the times we talk in these extremes, these dichotomies

00:50:55.880 where it's like, you're either happy with what you have or you need everything. And it's really

00:51:00.460 not that it's both. Yeah. You know? And so here's another thing I would say, when I hear you saying

00:51:08.160 this, what I hear you saying is you want to drive on with your business. That's what I hear. I could

00:51:13.940 be wrong, but I hear that you want to drive on with your business and do more with work, but she's

00:51:18.380 satisfied with the dynamic and the, the, the relationship between work and home life.

00:51:24.720 Yeah. And so nervous about, yeah. And she's nervous about change, which AKA, Hey, you're going

00:51:32.400 to change up the status quo. Am I still going to be a priority? You know, am I taking second string?

00:51:38.400 Here's why we're not a business podcast because there's 10,000 business podcasts out there that

00:51:46.620 are going to tell you to work harder, grind, hustle, sacrifice your life and your family and

00:51:51.380 whatever for your business. And I get it. And if that's your idea and that's what you want to do,

00:51:57.120 go find one of those business podcasts and, you know, do, do your thing, all the power to you.

00:52:02.860 We're not a business podcast. We're a podcast for men. And why I say that is because business,

00:52:09.640 your career pursuits and aspirations are part of who you are, part of who you are.

00:52:16.820 You're never going to hear me tell you to hustle and grind at the expense of your family. You're

00:52:22.380 never going to tell them, hear me tell you that you should hustle and grind at the expense of your

00:52:27.280 own wellbeing. Now there's bursts. Don't get me wrong. There's burst seasons. Yeah.

00:52:31.780 Right. Like I had a, I've got the book. I told you that earlier, there's going to be a burst for like

00:52:36.060 two to three months where it's, I got to go all in on this. My family knows that. And I've

00:52:40.180 communicated that with them, but you need to hustle and grind at home just as much as you do

00:52:46.420 at work. You need to hustle and grind with church, just as much as you do with your work aspirations.

00:52:54.440 And if it's not church, then make it something and, or charitable organizations, contributions,

00:53:01.480 giving back. You need to hustle and grind with your body as much as you do with your finances.

00:53:06.220 Because what men are really good at doing primarily when they are hustling and grinding 0.94

00:53:10.780 is career and money. Because it's easier things. Yeah.

00:53:16.140 It's easy. Like money doesn't talk back to you, right? Money doesn't make you feel guilty

00:53:22.960 for doing it or not doing it. Like money's money. Career's career. We don't take it too personally.

00:53:31.300 Usually it's like, just go harder and we get it. But what about that difficult conversation

00:53:36.980 with your daughter who has her first boyfriend? What about that challenging conversation with your

00:53:43.300 wife where she's like, Hey, I, I don't know if we can do this as a marriage anymore

00:53:48.420 or your son who's struggling with being bullied at school or, or, you know, maybe he's struggling

00:53:58.120 with his sexual identity or even his gender, because that's increasingly an issue.

00:54:05.260 That's way harder than, Hey, I got to pay off the debt. So what do we, what do we run away from?

00:54:12.880 Not run towards. What do we run away from? That's really what we're doing. So, so it works good.

00:54:20.260 And that situation's dialed and locked in and your wife's content. Cool. Direct that energy 1.00

00:54:25.340 towards something else. Maybe it's starting a charitable organization. Maybe it's getting your

00:54:30.320 kids involved in some aspect of the business. Maybe it's going on that vacation. You always

00:54:35.400 could have, should have went on and start to frame it as hustling, grinding at home. So you feel good

00:54:40.100 about the progress you're making at home relative to what you may have already created in your career

00:54:44.120 pursuits, which I commend you on. Not everybody can say that you're in that position. So just translate

00:54:49.360 it now. Yeah. Ryan, what, what advice would you give him regarding, you know, he, let's say he

00:54:55.360 identifies, Hey, you know what? I want to step up my game at work. My wife's nervous about change. 1.00

00:55:00.840 You know, what, what do I need to do to get her bought in to me, you know, doubling down, perhaps 0.98

00:55:07.700 not in a, in a way to sacrifice family time, but in a way that she, she can get on board and,

00:55:14.660 and see the value of him, you know, putting in not extra time, but hustling maybe more at work.

00:55:21.240 I think what you need to do is identify how it's going to serve her and the kids

00:55:24.980 because I already know how it's going to serve you. So do you, that's why you're doing it.

00:55:29.700 Yeah. And you're also saying it'll help the family, which it will, but she doesn't know that

00:55:36.660 she doesn't get that. And what she thinks of help, especially if you have all the bills paid

00:55:40.140 and it sounds like you do, you're saying, well, it's going to help the family. How you're going

00:55:44.880 to pay the bills faster. Yeah. Like you're going to need more money, other property. Like you tell

00:55:51.340 me specifically how it's going to serve the family. And I don't know what it is. I, you got to decide

00:55:55.900 that you got to figure that out. But if you're trying to communicate with your wife about why

00:55:59.460 you should be working more. And again, we're assuming on this question, that's what it is. But I think,

00:56:03.720 I think that's right. Then you got to communicate to her how it's going to serve her.

00:56:10.140 Right. So like with, with my wife, if I'm gone for three months and I'm sporadically at home

00:56:17.180 because I'm doing the book tour, then I need to communicate to her how that's going to effectively

00:56:22.940 serve the family. Well, here's a couple of ways. My kids are going to see me pursuing something

00:56:26.800 meaningful. I want them to know what that's like, right. They're going to see me doing something

00:56:33.160 that's bigger than myself and bigger than them. And I communicate it that way. So they get it.

00:56:38.140 They understand. Yeah. Right. It also means that when I'm home, because I have a book out,

00:56:44.040 a book is leverage. Like this is leverage. Cause what that means is that you and a million other

00:56:50.720 people can buy my book and read about it without me having to actually be present there.

00:56:56.180 Yeah. It's passive. I take passive influence. Yeah. Right. And income. Yep.

00:57:02.160 So if I take three months and I go to this book tour and I have 500,000 people buy a copy of my book,

00:57:08.140 and that turns into revenue and generates revenue and influence for me,

00:57:12.400 then that means I don't need to be on a podcast all the time. I don't need to be out on tour all

00:57:18.040 the time because people are getting my words and my information while I'm here on Sunday,

00:57:22.800 playing footsies with my wife and, you know, playing hoops with my kids.

00:57:27.440 Yeah.

00:57:27.920 So think about the bet. Think about the way to frame it. You have to be truthful,

00:57:32.440 but think about the way to frame your work in a way that's going to serve her and the kids.

00:57:38.200 Cause that's her priority and it's yours too, but you guys are coming at it from different

00:57:43.020 perspectives. So if you want to win her over, you can't hope that she's going to see your side of

00:57:48.360 things. You have to see her side and communicate with her in a way where she understands and she gets

00:57:54.320 it. Great answer. Travis Robinson. I recently interviewed for a team lead position at my

00:58:02.660 company. I've been working closely with my manager to prepare for this role, but in the interview,

00:58:08.260 all they focused on was that I didn't have relationships with other leaders in other

00:58:12.980 departments. I've been feeling frustrated because I didn't even know that that, that I should be doing

00:58:18.260 that since this is my first career type job since graduating college. My question is this,

00:58:23.780 how do I take full ownership of something when it's not clear that it was ever on my

00:58:28.840 responsibility? All right. This is a college answer or it's a college question. Oh, it wasn't

00:58:35.440 on the syllabus. Sorry. Maybe we'll make sure that we give you all the answers to life before you go

00:58:41.600 out and you, and you get into it. Okay. Now I'm not trying to pick on you, but you said yourself,

00:58:45.960 you're just out of college because you spent the last 12, potentially even 16 years going

00:58:51.780 through course curricula and syllabuses and them telling you what homework you had and what you

00:58:57.560 should be doing all the time with all of your money and, or excuse me, your time and attention

00:59:02.160 and energy. That ain't life, bro. Like, yeah. Okay, good. You know what? Actually, it's awesome.

00:59:09.940 They just gave you feedback. I know. Here's what they could have done. Here's what they could have

00:59:13.980 done. No, we decided to go with somebody else, you know, but thank you. Period. But you know what they

00:59:20.920 did instead? They said, Hey, we appreciate you applying. It's not right because we see there's

00:59:28.160 a deficiency in the relationship with other managers. And you're asking, what should you do?

00:59:33.300 They told you what to do. Go build relationships with the other leaders and the other managers in

00:59:39.720 different departments. That's what you have to do. They told you the answer. So go do it.

00:59:44.360 Travis and go ahead. I was going to say, Travis, like I think there's a lesson here. And the lesson

00:59:52.060 is, can you take ownership of something that's not on your radar or you don't know about it?

00:59:56.740 And the answer is of course not. But the minute, you know, you can, no, you can because it's your

01:00:02.160 job to know what's on the radar to figure it out. Yeah. But that's my point. There's going to be

01:00:06.380 parts of life that you're going to have to figure out. And once you figure it out,

01:00:09.940 then you pivot and you grow that's life. So like, this is not necessarily a bad thing.

01:00:14.900 This is actually a good thing. It's a good thing. That was not on your radar is now on your radar.

01:00:19.760 So take ownership of it, grow, pivot, adjust, and make sure you take ownership for it.

01:00:26.980 Here's a hundred percent. Here's, here's what I also would say, because you're saying,

01:00:31.200 because I don't know what's on my radar. Well, right. None of us know everything that's on the radar.

01:00:35.860 So how do you, how do you know what you don't know?

01:00:38.900 You ask people who know. So what I would be doing, if I was in your position is I, first,

01:00:47.140 I would be developing relationships with other departments because that's what they told you to

01:00:50.360 do. So do that. The next thing I would be doing is I would go right to that person who got the job.

01:00:57.880 Let's say it's you, Kip. I'd go to you and I'd say, Hey Kip, I applied for that position as well.

01:01:03.500 And you got the job. And I just really wanted to congratulate you. I'm really excited. I was

01:01:08.660 excited for myself and I'm disappointed, but I'm excited for you. And I think it's going to be a

01:01:13.500 cool opportunity. And I just want to let you know, I'm here to support you. So if there's anything I

01:01:17.420 can do, please let me know. In the meantime, because you got the position and I didn't,

01:01:22.780 is there anything that you feel like you knew that gave you an advantage that you could share with me?

01:01:31.020 Come on, man. This is easy. Right. And I think some people would be hesitant,

01:01:36.660 right? Because they'd be like, Oh, I'm going to be threatening that guy.

01:01:39.240 Listening and putting myself in this scenario. I'm like, I like you. I like you, Ryan. Like I

01:01:45.640 want you to succeed. Of course. Yeah. Of course. Now, if you go around your back and I'm like,

01:01:53.340 Oh, Kip, that asshole shouldn't have got the job. And he didn't do that. Now you're not playing the 1.00

01:01:59.240 game. You're playing the game. You're doing it poorly. The other thing I would do is I would go to

01:02:05.000 different departments because again, they told, this is what they told you to do. And let's say

01:02:09.440 you're a department head in another department kit. So a different role play. I'm going to go to you

01:02:13.920 and say, Hey, Kip, um, I'm going to email you first or message you or whatever. Like, Hey,

01:02:19.000 do you have 10 minutes? I can sit down. I want to get to know your department and you and what you're

01:02:21.920 doing. And you say, yes, hypothetically. And so I sit down and I'm like, Hey, thanks for meeting with

01:02:26.140 me. I know your time's valuable. I want to be very efficient enough and respectful of your time.

01:02:30.660 Um, I applied for the team leadership position last week. Unfortunately, I didn't get it. I wish

01:02:36.360 I would have, I'm disappointed, but I want to make the most of it. And one of the things they said is

01:02:40.260 that I should work on developing relationships with the other department heads. And that's why

01:02:43.600 I wanted to talk with you. Um, and, and the first question I have for you is if you were hiring or you

01:02:50.920 were looking for somebody in your department, uh, what would you be looking for? Or what blind spots

01:02:55.940 should people be aware of that are in your department now that they could learn that would

01:03:00.480 help them accelerate their growth. Yeah. And you're going to tell me exactly what it is because

01:03:06.760 you're doing it humbly and you're being honest. Like, Hey, I'm disappointed. It's okay to be

01:03:13.140 disappointed. Say that. Yeah. Like, Hey, I'm really disappointed. I was, I was very frustrated.

01:03:18.320 Actually. I was really disappointed. I thought I was going to get the job and I didn't. That's okay

01:03:22.140 to say, but that's the truth. And that makes you more relatable. And now it shows that, Oh,

01:03:27.780 instead of wallowing in his own self-pity, he's going around a different department heads and asking

01:03:32.340 what he should do and how he should prove and what he, these leaders would be looking for,

01:03:37.380 man, great questions in this scenario are going to lift you leaps and bounds a hundred percent.

01:03:42.800 Yeah. And, and you can't help, but just completely respect someone that comes to the table with like,

01:03:50.000 Hey, what can I do? What do I need to do to level up here? You know? I mean, that's just so valuable.

01:03:55.220 So there's one other trick. I hate to use that word even trick. Cause it's not a trick. It's just

01:04:00.600 strategy or tactic. I don't yeah. Strategy is better word is let's say I ask you as a department

01:04:06.740 head, what you would expect to see. And I, and I'm taking notes, like literally take notes,

01:04:10.900 not on your phone, by the way, because if you do it on your phone, sometimes it appears like you're

01:04:16.920 distracted and an appearance is important. So bring a notepad with you, but a nice notepad,

01:04:23.120 not just like, like a piece of paper, like bring a leather binder notepad. And again,

01:04:29.500 the way you play the game is important. This is how you play it. So you bring a nice leather bound

01:04:34.300 notepad and you tell them, Hey, I'm just going to take some notes. Cause this is really important

01:04:39.140 to me. Do you mind? No, I don't mind. Okay, cool. And then you ask your question, you take your notes.

01:04:42.740 Now here's the, here's, here's the sauce right here. Here's how you do it.

01:04:50.060 24 hours after I meet with you, Kip, I'm going to write you an email or message, whatever's

01:04:54.100 appropriate based on your organization. And I'm going to say, Kip, thank you for sitting down with

01:04:59.700 me yesterday. It was very valuable. I learned X, Y, and Z. And then you write two or three specific

01:05:06.460 things you learned. And if you think of anything else, please let me know. And what I'm going to

01:05:12.080 do is I'm just going to periodically just give you a little feedback and how I'm doing, if you're okay

01:05:16.680 with that. Cause I really would like to maintain this relationship. And then what you do is a week

01:05:22.040 later, you share a very specific story about how you implemented something that Kip, you said, and I,

01:05:28.120 and I write to you and I say, Hey Kip, I just want to write it. And you said to me something

01:05:33.020 interesting about going above and beyond for our customers. And what I started doing is I started

01:05:39.460 making follow-up calls at, to our customers just to ask for feedback. And I actually had a customer

01:05:45.700 reach out to me and say, they wanted to replace their order just because I went and asked them

01:05:51.760 about their experience. And I just wanted to tell you, this works. This is awesome. Thank you.

01:05:58.720 So you do that a week later and then a month or two later, you do it again.

01:06:02.500 Right. Yeah. So this is how, these are some strategies for, for how you do it.

01:06:07.900 And I'm just saying like the minute I have an opening, I'm calling you without a doubt.

01:06:15.560 And it's not because it's not because you're prepped. It's not because you're fully skilled

01:06:21.540 is because I know you are capable of learning that you have a growth mindset and you'll listen 0.99

01:06:27.500 to the shit that I tell you and you implement it. The minute you know that from an employee, 0.98

01:06:32.900 they are golden. Like that's the ticket. It's not necessarily, now don't get me wrong. Experience

01:06:39.160 is beneficial because you can onboard people quicker. Right. But, but I've hired guys that

01:06:44.900 don't have the experience necessary to start, but they have this. They have the ability to take advice

01:06:52.720 and apply it. And you know, that they're eager and hungry and humble enough to listen to your

01:06:58.780 recommendations. Once that exists, possibilities are endless. I've got, I like this kind of stuff

01:07:05.540 because I like the game. So like I have, let me give you a couple more here and then we'll probably

01:07:10.840 call it a day. I already hired you, man. Oh, I know. But just in case you're an idiot and it takes

01:07:15.920 you a little longer than, than necessary. Let me explain a couple more. Don't, don't call them 1.00

01:07:20.720 that by the way. That's one thing, one bit of advice that I would say. No, actually that leads

01:07:24.460 into my next point that I was going to make is you talk really well about other people in other

01:07:32.640 departments. Yes. And you defend people. So, so when there's an, so let's say again, I come talk to

01:07:40.340 you Kip as a leader of the other department and there's an opportunity at lunch with completely

01:07:44.680 separate. And, and I have a chance to be like, oh, you know, like we're talking about people at

01:07:50.120 work. I'm like, you know, who's awesome. Kip Sorensen. Like I, I went and met with him and he

01:07:56.720 shared some ideas. Like I had no idea how incredible that guy was. That's it. That's all you need to say.

01:08:02.720 Just say good things. Cause that'll come around. Okay. The other thing you do is when people,

01:08:08.540 when you have an opportunity to defend people, do it. So let's say you have a,

01:08:13.020 so opposite, opposite. I come to you and I go, oh man. Oh, you met with Kip Sorensen last week.

01:08:19.420 That guy throws me wrong. It's kind of a dick. Don't you think? 0.99

01:08:22.840 So what I, so what I would say is I'd say, you know, I, I, I hear that. I get that. And I think

01:08:28.280 it's because he's intense. Yeah. I think it's because he's so intense about the job and he loves

01:08:34.300 it. But you know, interestingly enough, I went and sat down with him and he had so much incredible,

01:08:39.100 so much incredible information to share with me and ideas and concepts. And I've applied a couple

01:08:43.880 of things and our sales have gone up. Like I hear what you're saying, but man, I've had the opposite

01:08:48.820 experience with him. He's been really, really good to me. This is the game. Okay. And then the other

01:08:54.480 thing I was going to say is make sure you're adding value. So again, we're just, since we're going on

01:09:00.700 this, this, this, this line here is you're another department. Maybe I come across a scenario or a

01:09:07.340 situation we've talked, you've shared some things with me, we're developing a relationship and I come

01:09:11.300 across a situation that I think needs to be brought to your attention. Again, I'm not throwing people

01:09:15.520 under the bus because that's talking negatively. That goes against what I just said. But maybe there's

01:09:20.100 a missed point or maybe there's a tool that you guys were using in your department that you might

01:09:26.140 be able to introduce. So I would say, Hey Kip, you know, I, I noticed, uh, in one of our team

01:09:31.060 meetings, something got brought up about your department and, uh, it seems they were frustrated

01:09:35.120 with something. I used this ABC system for that when I was dealing with this in my past employer,

01:09:40.360 and it seemed to be really helpful. Go check out ABC. I mean, do what you will, but I think it might

01:09:45.480 be helpful. Now you're adding value. Now you're putting this on hyperdrive. And then the last thing I

01:09:51.620 would say is this is a warning. Don't be a brown noser. Yeah. Oh, people know. Let's be frank. 1.00

01:09:59.960 Like the only, not all people, not all people know. Really? Like it's so obvious. It does. It does.

01:10:06.400 But there's a lot like you may not totally know. You may think, you know, so you just need to look

01:10:11.120 for, for clues where, where you might be rubbing somebody the wrong way, or you might be too forward,

01:10:17.020 or you might be interacting too much. Just, just look for cues include and be aware of it. Cause

01:10:22.520 you don't want to be a brown noser either. Totally. Um, one thing that came to mind, 1.00

01:10:27.320 and I think we fell at this sometimes. And so I just want to add to it is when you're meeting with

01:10:32.380 those department heads and they're giving you advice, don't, don't add reason excuse or your

01:10:39.340 story to it. Just listen to it. Like I use it as an analogy of like, take their knowledge and,

01:10:44.960 and put it on your lap and confirm that you understand, right? That's valuable, right?

01:10:49.340 You, you explain something to you, Ryan, like, Hey Kip, I see these as potential barriers for you.

01:10:53.780 It's good for me to go. Okay. So like this scenario, and this is how it works. Is that

01:10:59.060 what you're talking about? And you're like, yeah, awesome. Thank you so much. I don't go. Oh,

01:11:03.540 well, you know, I come across that way because, you know, and I make stories, do not share stories

01:11:09.300 or excuse away. You discredit the advice that someone's giving you. So just listen,

01:11:14.400 make sure that you thoroughly understand and then move on. They don't, you don't feel more,

01:11:19.780 you don't think better about me because I give you some reason or excuse of why I might show up that

01:11:25.780 way. There's, there's some phrases that you can use in this context. So if you're giving me that

01:11:30.760 Kip and I'm like naturally defensive, here's, here's the phrases you can use is that's good advice.

01:11:36.440 I haven't been great at that in the past. Yeah. Okay. That's one way.

01:11:41.820 Okay. I haven't realized it in the past. You're working on it, but you didn't have to give me

01:11:47.380 some bullshit story about how that's not you anymore. Right. So that's really good advice. 0.86

01:11:52.560 I haven't been good at that in the past, or here's another one. Oh man, that's, that's a really good

01:11:57.040 thought. I hadn't considered that before, but I can see how that would be valuable.

01:12:00.680 Yeah. Like those two phrases alone will help you not get defensive and just learn to accept

01:12:08.200 feedback. And you know what, even like, even if you have tried it and even if they're wrong,

01:12:13.720 it doesn't matter. This is the game. Let's say you give me advice and it's like, so off the wall,

01:12:19.500 stupid. I'm going to say, Hey, you know, thanks for sharing that with me. I hadn't considered that 0.99

01:12:24.780 before. Cause what am I going to tell you? That's stupid. Like, how's that going to serve me?

01:12:28.660 Yeah. That's going to help. Yeah. So I just say, Oh, I had, Oh, that's interesting. You don't have

01:12:33.840 to say that's good advice. If it's not, don't lie, but Oh, that's interesting. I, you know,

01:12:37.220 I hadn't even considered that before. So this is the game we play. It's okay. Yep. I feel like we

01:12:44.340 could just do a whole app on just this stuff. Yeah. We really should actually. Yeah. It's valuable.

01:12:50.600 All right. Are we up on time? Yeah. But I gotta say, I'm going to, I'm going to say something here

01:12:55.580 real quick. You're, you're looking good, Kip. Like you're honestly, you look this awkward.

01:13:02.940 What do you mean? It's not awkward. I'm just telling you, like, you're looking,

01:13:06.180 you're looking lean. You're looking like strong. Have you, have you changed some things this past

01:13:12.040 quarter and a half? I've put on roughly about 17, almost 20 pounds of, are you serious muscle?

01:13:20.160 Yeah. See, I'm not making out. I was right. Yeah. Like it's, um, good dude. I'm like,

01:13:26.080 thanks man. It's looking jacked. Yeah. I, um, it's been weird. I've never

01:13:30.560 jujitsu because I used to compete a lot. I've never wanted to get bigger because I didn't want to,

01:13:37.140 I didn't want to compete against bigger guys. So what do you weigh right now? Um, I'm one 95.

01:13:43.760 Yeah, dude, that's a rough category because you get guys who are fast, but they're just jacked.

01:13:50.640 Yeah. And I don't, and most guys that big are a little bit smaller than me. So then they're

01:13:56.080 stronger than me. Right. They don't have like bone weight and height on them. Um, but I'm not like,

01:14:02.860 I'm not in this mode of like, I want to compete and become pans or world champion. You know, I'm just

01:14:08.060 like, I just want to bulk up. So I'm just bulking up. So, so what are you doing? Um, so I do, um,

01:14:16.500 pull push and legs two times a week. So I'm doing push pull legs, and then I run and I repeat. So I,

01:14:26.420 I mean, I'm working every day, working out six days a week weights, and then cardio in between with,

01:14:33.500 with jujitsu. So you train let's, let's outside of jujitsu, you train six days a week. Correct.

01:14:41.320 With, with three or four days of cardio, two days of lifting. Yeah. No, I'm lifting six days a week.

01:14:48.920 Oh, you lift six days a week. Yeah. And then how often do you do cardio or jujitsu?

01:14:55.000 That's jujitsu. And then on my break day, I try to like get in some yoga or run, but we got a Ragnar

01:15:02.260 race relay. So now I've started running again. It might be overdoing it. Like I, like today I was

01:15:09.400 thinking about it. I'm like, Oh, wait a second. So I worked out this morning. I'll go to jujitsu

01:15:13.060 at noon. And then Asia is going to want to run tonight. I'm like three days a week. I mean,

01:15:18.260 three days, I don't think, but I don't think there is such thing as overdoing it. I, you know,

01:15:23.740 there's going to be the, the nutritionist and the, the fitness guys are going to be like,

01:15:26.840 but I think the body just gets accustomed to what it, what it is. So, okay. So you lift six days a

01:15:34.840 week, you get some cardio periodically through those days. And then you train jujitsu six days a

01:15:39.400 week. No, I'm probably training. Um, I've taken a break a little bit cause I, I jacked my glue,

01:15:45.920 but, um, about three days a week is I'm training three days a week. Jiu Jitsu. You look good, man.

01:15:52.160 I see it. I see it. Thanks, man. I appreciate it. All right. Let's wrap it up. Okay. Yeah. So,

01:15:57.640 I mean, I key, I think the key things, the key calls to action are just, you know, I see, man,

01:16:04.240 I was thinking about this, sorry, quick tangent, but I was thinking about, um, I was reading a book

01:16:11.420 by John Gary Bishop and he talks about how sometimes our values don't align with things that we take on

01:16:19.240 in life. Does it make sense? Like we'll say that we value these things and then we'll latch onto a

01:16:24.580 cause like a political party, or we'll latch onto another cause. And those causes sometimes

01:16:29.760 eventually we lose our values in them. And you go, wait a second, this cause that I'm part of is no

01:16:35.620 longer aligned with my values. And we got to be really careful when we do that. And anyhow, I was

01:16:41.480 really, it caused me to contemplate like, what are the causes that I'm part of? And, and I,

01:16:46.140 I consider the order of man movement, my cause. And what's so powerful about it is we're not out

01:16:53.100 of alignment with our core values ever. And, and you make sure that Ryan, as its founder and,

01:16:59.360 and as our leader of like, Hey, you're, you're never going to hear something on this podcast for

01:17:03.640 the most part, at least not intended that is not in line with what we should be doing as men,

01:17:09.540 whether it's fathers, business owners, coworkers in our communities or anything. And,

01:17:15.440 and that's what makes what we're doing here so powerful because there's not this other aspect 0.91

01:17:21.180 of political bullshit or power or control that's manipulating this conversation. There's conversations

01:17:27.680 rooted in providing the best resources possible for us to level up together, to band together and

01:17:34.300 to show up better in life and the trickling effect of what that would do. And so I guess my,

01:17:41.220 my ask is if you guys are down and you see that help us move the movement forward, band with us,

01:17:48.620 whether it's Facebook in the Facebook group, which is, you know, facebook.com slash group slash order,

01:17:53.680 man, subscribing in the newsletter, listening to the podcast, hopping on YouTube, sharing those videos

01:18:00.940 and et cetera, man. I just, every single time I turn the news or I'm watching too much social media,

01:18:07.720 I just, it reiterates how critical the work that is that we're doing. And so I just, I just feel like,

01:18:15.140 man, we just got to level up and leveling up for us is us of course, always doing our, our jobs better,

01:18:21.140 but it's also you guys doing your job better. And that is you leveling up and you sharing this message.

01:18:26.580 Well said, man, nothing else to say. It was awesome. Sorry. Just a little soapbox. I just

01:18:32.300 riled up. No, it's, it's good. And I've always thought, you know, if you have something that's

01:18:36.860 valuable to share with other people, then we have a moral obligation, like literally a moral

01:18:41.720 obligation to share it, to put ourselves, to put our best foot forward and to be that beacon of light

01:18:47.380 for people. Cause you may not recognize it. And I ask this occasionally when I do seminars and

01:18:51.740 conversations about whether or not you get to choose if you leave a legacy. And we always have like,

01:18:56.520 half and half, like half the people will say, yes, you, you always get to choose. And the other

01:19:01.440 half will say, no, you don't get to choose if you leave a legacy. And that's right. You don't get to

01:19:06.080 choose. You are leaving a legacy regardless. Yeah. Yes. You get the, what you do get to choose is

01:19:12.800 what kind of legacy you're going to leave. And so if you have something to share, something to put out

01:19:18.160 there, a tool even, or even a conversation like this, and you, you have access to it, then the legacy

01:19:24.660 you leave is sharing that information with other people. Cool. All right, you guys appreciate you

01:19:30.460 all. Um, get the, do the battle ready course, order of man.com slash battle ready, check out

01:19:34.620 iron council, order of man.com slash iron council. And then we'll be back on Friday until then go

01:19:39.680 out there, take action and become the man you are meant to be. Thank you for listening to the order

01:19:44.080 of man podcast. You're ready to take charge of your life and be more of the man you were meant to be.

01:19:49.280 We invite you to join the order at order of man.com.

Order of Man - April 13, 2022

How to Best Secure a Promotion, Find and Hire a Mentor, and Prioritize Your Objectives ｜ ASK ME ANYTHING

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