Order of Man - How to Forge Masculinity Into Manliness ｜ FRIDAY FIELD NOTES

00:00:00.400 Masculinity is what you and me were handed, biologically.

00:00:03.860 We're entitled to it.

00:00:04.980 We have a right to it.

00:00:06.100 But manliness is what you do with it.

00:00:08.040 That force is never the problem.

00:00:10.000 Don't let the American Psychological Association tell you. 1.00

00:00:13.640 Don't let raging feminists tell you, 1.00

00:00:16.500 you are not the problem. 1.00

00:00:18.540 Your behaviors could potentially be.

00:00:20.420 I'll give them that.

00:00:21.900 But who you are, your biological makeup is not a problem.

00:00:24.940 So we need to call each other up and step up ourselves

00:00:27.460 into what it means to be manly.

00:00:30.000 man there's a lie that we have been sold by modern culture and we've been carrying around

00:00:37.000 this lie for so long that we've internalized it we believe it we accept it as gospel and doctrine

00:00:44.180 and that lie is that the thing inside of you it's the drive it's the edge the part of you and me

00:00:52.720 that wants to compete and conquer and build and dominate that that is the problem with society

00:00:58.660 that if you could just smooth out the edges a little bit,

00:01:03.840 soften it, apologize for it enough

00:01:07.140 that you finally be what society would deem a good man.

00:01:14.100 And I'm here to tell you that's exactly backwards

00:01:16.400 because that raw force inside of you is not the problem.

00:01:21.240 It's the raw material.

00:01:22.980 It's the building block of what makes a man a man.

00:01:26.640 And a man who doesn't understand the difference between what he was given, God-given gifts and talents and abilities and skill sets, and what he's actually supposed to do with it, that kind of guy spends his entire life either ashamed of his own driving force, his own engine, or potentially letting it run him into a wall.

00:01:51.860 and we see both in modern times we're in men's mental health month right now and we see men

00:01:58.640 killing themselves at staggering rates and then we see other completely passive and weak and timid

00:02:04.320 cowardly young men who are becoming men because they've been told to sit down to shut up to color

00:02:10.440 within the lines and to reject everything that makes them who they are so i want to draw the

00:02:15.240 line very very clearly today and i want to put an end to this once and for all the difference is

00:02:21.340 masculinity versus manliness. What you are versus what you're responsible for becoming

00:02:30.340 is the distinction. And then I'm going to give you five very strategic, very simple ways

00:02:36.620 to take the one, the building blocks of what makes you a man and forge it into becoming a man,

00:02:44.800 manliness. And here's the distinction. And everything that I talk about hangs on this

00:02:50.460 distinction. I think it's very, very important in society today. Masculinity is simply just,

00:02:56.280 it's raw. It's amoral. It's the force that you were born with. It's the aggression,

00:03:01.920 the dominance, the stoicism, the ambition, the strength, the hunger to win, the drive,

00:03:08.580 the capacity for dominance. And I want you to hear that word very clearly. It's amoral.

00:03:14.680 it's not immoral it's amoral it carries no moral weight on its own it's neither good nor bad

00:03:22.280 it just is it's it's like horsepower and and horsepower doesn't care whether it's driving

00:03:30.940 an ambulance to a hospital or a getaway car from a bank robbery manliness is what happens

00:03:38.600 when you take that raw force and you begin to hone it and refine it and make it what it's

00:03:44.360 supposed to be. You discipline it. You aim it at something. You govern it. You direct it.

00:03:51.540 And you put in service of something worthwhile, something worth serving.

00:03:57.540 Manliness is masculinity under control and aimed at something righteous and good.

00:04:04.560 So again, masculinity is the fuel, but manliness is the engine. It's the steering wheel. It's the

00:04:09.840 destination. It's everything else. And this is why you so often hear, you don't actually hear

00:04:15.140 it much more anymore, but the premise still permeates every fabric of society, this whole

00:04:20.480 toxic masculinity idea. And this is why it's so catastrophically wrong and why it's hurt quite

00:04:28.060 literally millions of men over the course of even just the past decade. Because if you tell a man

00:04:35.120 the fuel itself is poison to him, if you let our young men believe in two options that you can

00:04:43.800 either suppress the fuel or you can just simply apologize for it, then what you do is you neuter

00:04:50.420 the very thing that gives that man or the young man or the boy the capacity to act favorably in

00:05:00.680 the world and you end up with exactly what we see men who are passive they're resentful they're

00:05:09.560 anxious they're ashamed of their own nature and then they build nothing they just wallow around

00:05:16.640 in their own self-pity and they act like good little lap dogs to everybody else who comes along

00:05:21.640 but for the boys and the young men who understand that the moment that masculinity is is raw and

00:05:30.500 amoral, that it's not inherently wrong, as the American Psychological Association would say,

00:05:37.860 then that question changes entirely. It's no longer, how do I become less of a man? It becomes,

00:05:44.300 how do I refine myself and aim what I already have inside of me? And guys, that's the problem

00:05:52.780 that you and I can actually solve for a legion of young men who need good, righteous, manly men

00:06:01.280 in their lives. The Stoics talk about this a lot. They actually had a phrase for this kind of

00:06:08.980 unrefined, immature, maybe even potential. They talked about the difference between a man of

00:06:14.680 raw temperament and a man of virtue. And virtue, which was called arete to the Greeks,

00:06:22.780 literally meant excellence. A thing performing the function that it was built for to its highest

00:06:30.600 degree. And I've talked about this before. A knife's arete, I talked about this a week or two

00:06:36.280 ago, is to cut well. A man's arete isn't to have force, it's to wield it well. The force is already

00:06:45.660 built into it. You're bigger, you're stronger, you have the capacity for violence and dominance

00:06:50.100 and aggression. It's already built into your DNA. But what you do with it, that's the whole test.

00:06:58.260 And this is why this matters so much. Because it's not necessarily academic. The distinction

00:07:06.500 does two things at once. And sometimes it feels as if they're pulling in opposite directions,

00:07:12.820 which is exactly why I think it's so powerful. First, when you start to look at it this way,

00:07:19.020 it takes the shame off of your nature how many men do you know who at least internally and

00:07:28.760 potentially even subconsciously feel shame or guilt for being the men that they are

00:07:33.840 they may not say it but they act as if they're ashamed they don't know how to step fully into

00:07:40.680 their potential they don't know how to step fully into their manliness guys you don't have to feel

00:07:45.800 guilty for being driven or competitive or hungry or strong that's not a defect in who men are it's

00:07:53.060 the engine but second this is very very important it it puts the responsibility of making yourself

00:08:02.560 into a man on you because that's where it belongs because if masculinity is the raw building blocks

00:08:10.740 the raw material then you can't hide behind that you can't take that aggression and that that hunger

00:08:17.560 that ambition and and just use it to run over people around you and this is what we see in the

00:08:23.260 quote-unquote manosphere like these guys who just are they're not tough they act tough they talk

00:08:29.540 tough on social media they sound tough but they're just trying to bully and railroad people

00:08:34.480 and then they'll say things like well it's just how i'm wired wired has nothing to do with the

00:08:41.560 efficacy of the wiring it's it's just an excuse it's just how i am if people don't like it then

00:08:49.240 that's their problem no that's your problem because as a man isn't it our job to be influential to be

00:08:55.640 credible to have authority in the lives of the people that we're trying to serve you can't just

00:09:00.600 say my wiring is this way and I have no obligation to refine it. And then at the same time, complain

00:09:06.760 that people aren't listening to you, that they aren't following you, that they aren't giving you

00:09:11.800 promotions, that they aren't asking to be led by you. Manliness on the other hand is that obligation

00:09:18.420 to do something honorable with what you were given by God. So that distinction, it holds you

00:09:26.060 to a higher standard it's it's like the adage uh spider-man's uncle says with great power comes

00:09:34.340 great responsibility the distinction between masculinity and manliness holds men to a higher

00:09:41.580 standard and it also it refuses the shame further your nature it separates what you are

00:09:51.120 which you didn't choose that you didn't get a choice in who you are naturally inherently I

00:09:59.540 should say but it separates that from what you're responsible for becoming and we often talk about

00:10:05.200 becoming the man that you're meant to be I say it every single week on this podcast for the past

00:10:09.820 11 years which by the way you absolutely do choose that you get to choose who you are becoming

00:10:17.040 and in modern times being a man is no longer a requirement it's a choice

00:10:22.980 you have to choose that every day because society will excuse it

00:10:27.920 not only will they excuse it they'll rebel against it they'll tell you that you're wrong

00:10:33.840 for being aggressive that you're wrong for being competitive that you're wrong for being stoic

00:10:41.000 that you're wrong for just existing as a man every single day you hear it every news outlet

00:10:47.300 every social media channel in fact I actually I've got a rebuttal I'm going to do with one

00:10:52.920 just today on Instagram so if you're not following me over at Ryan Mickler do because

00:10:57.580 I'm going to redo a rebuttal on the kind of nonsense that we often hear from feminist

00:11:03.300 and by misguided people who will on one hand complain about men on the other hand they'll

00:11:10.080 get the ick when those men embrace and adopt the ideology that they profess.

00:11:17.200 So let's talk about five ways to do this forging. Okay, number one, attach your masculinity to a 0.83

00:11:26.900 mission. I've often said that a boy becomes a man when he learns to produce more than he consumes.

00:11:33.580 Guys, we are all consumers of goods and products and services and resources.

00:11:39.700 There's nothing inherently wrong with that, but we need to outproduce our consumption.

00:11:46.160 Raw force with no target, it actually just turns into destructive behavior.

00:11:54.660 I remember when I was a kid, I would dig holes and I would break toys.

00:12:00.420 i would do all sorts of crazy stuff because i didn't know how to channel and harness that

00:12:05.920 masculinity into productivity just consumption so i'd break things or alternatively it just rots

00:12:12.520 in place with nowhere to go for example aggression with nowhere to go becomes silly bar fights

00:12:21.580 and and comment section wars and i'm not telling you i'm above above that i'm not because i'm i'm

00:12:28.640 guilty of my fair share of not necessarily bar fights, but comment section wars. But the ambition

00:12:35.360 that you have with no object becomes a low, constant relentlessness, a feeling that a lot

00:12:45.200 of you know, where you've got all this drive and just nowhere to put it. So it just wells up and

00:12:52.520 festers and builds inside of you. It's anxiety. You know, you often hear the phrase action is

00:12:59.520 the antidote to anxiety. True, but I would say righteous action because I can go be destructive,

00:13:06.460 but that's not going to help my anxiety. It has to be constructive. So the first element of

00:13:13.260 refinement is just aiming it towards something. If you're physical and aggressive, go to the gym,

00:13:20.240 go join jujitsu. If you've got ambition and drive and motivation, go to business conferences,

00:13:28.060 start a business, solve a problem. You have to point the energy that you have at something

00:13:35.300 worthwhile. And so again, build a business, lead the family, master a craft, pick up a new project.

00:13:42.820 The instant that that force that you are inherently capable of has a target, it stops

00:13:49.160 running you. And then it starts working for you and other people, by the way. And this isn't just

00:13:56.040 like soft motivation, rah, rah, cheerleading type stuff I'm trying to give you. There's actually

00:14:01.460 hard data underneath this. There's a 14 year study. And I think it's by, what's the guy's

00:14:10.520 name? Patrick Hill and Nicholas, I can't remember his name right offhand. I'll have to put it in

00:14:17.540 the show notes but they found that those men with a stronger sense of purpose in life had

00:14:23.180 a measurably lower risk of dying across that 14-year period and and we know this inherently

00:14:31.060 we don't even need a study to know that we know that because what is the life expectancy for men

00:14:36.940 who retire and right off into the sunset or go sit my ties you know on the beach or or play golf for

00:14:42.420 the rest of their life. And by the way, that happens regardless of your age. There's a separate

00:14:48.400 study that I was looking at of older American adults found that those with the highest sense

00:14:52.580 of purpose had a significantly lower mortality risk than those with the lowest sense of purpose.

00:15:00.860 Do we need studies to tell us that? Or do we inherently know that? Purpose isn't a poster

00:15:06.700 on the wall. You remember those, it must've been in the nineties where it was, you know,

00:15:11.240 a picture of a canyon or a mountain range and it said motivation and then it gave you the quote

00:15:17.520 it's not a poster on the wall it's it's literally well in this case it's life and death

00:15:24.580 a lot of you guys are familiar with victor frankel he watched men quite literally live

00:15:31.880 and die in concentration camps and i think he put it as plainly as he can as you can say it

00:15:37.160 He said that when a man knows the why, he can bear almost any how.

00:15:45.440 A man with a mission is a man with a reason to refine himself.

00:15:51.300 But a guy who doesn't have a mission has no reason to really bother with refining himself,

00:15:57.540 improving himself, developing himself.

00:15:59.620 And therefore, he's just unbridled, immature, and unreasonable.

00:16:05.620 all right number two you have to submit your masculinity to discipline now i know that when

00:16:12.440 i say submit it has this negative connotation but masculinity is just impulsive it's that there's no

00:16:19.940 better definition of masculinity than just a raw set of characteristics that determine our behavior

00:16:25.460 based on our biological makeup that's it that's the definition anybody who else who tells you 0.96

00:16:30.980 there's a different definition is lying or they're just wrong they're lying or they're ignorant

00:16:34.780 okay it it wants the thing that it wants and it wants it now i've often referred to it as 0.70

00:16:42.160 that natural man and the natural man is lazy and he's immediate gratification and he's gluttonous 0.99

00:16:48.300 and he's slothful and he's idle he's just a piece of crap if i'm being honest there's a guy in our 0.99

00:16:54.960 iron council group uh jay laurie and he often says in his past he was acting like a roach that's 0.99

00:17:01.060 right we've all acted like roaches that that's masculinity it's just again it's not inherently

00:17:08.260 roach like but it has the potential to be unless it's harnessed

00:17:13.600 so guys we've got to figure out a way to submit to this idea of discipline to run that masculinity

00:17:23.740 through routine through training through standards that you hold even i would say especially when

00:17:31.040 no one is watching. Discipline is the forge of masculinity. It takes heat and it makes it useful

00:17:37.840 instead of just hot and destructive. Like if you take a fire, I can burn down the Amazon,

00:17:45.940 but I can also craft knives and melt steel to build buildings. It's not the fire that's the

00:17:56.160 problem. It's how we utilize it. If we utilize it at all, there's a, there's a famous marshmallow

00:18:02.800 test. You guys have probably heard this where kids were offered either one treat now or two treats

00:18:10.820 later if they could wait. And in the original studies, it suggested that kids who could delay

00:18:16.340 gratification did better on all sorts of metrics and outcomes down the road. And I'll be really

00:18:22.960 straight with you on this because I want you to have the real picture. Later, bigger studies

00:18:30.840 found that a lot of that effect was tangled up with also a kid's home environment and circumstances.

00:18:37.900 So it wasn't just the delayed gratification. It's not just the clean magic trick that it gets sold

00:18:44.260 as. But here's what did survive that later scrutiny. The man who actually designed that

00:18:52.460 test. He insisted that delaying gratification is not some fixed gift that you're born with.

00:19:00.440 It's an acquirable cognitive skill. You can actually train it. That's the entire point.

00:19:07.120 It's not that just some people are more disciplined. Discipline isn't a personality

00:19:11.800 type. It's reps. It's being around other people who are disciplined. And the reps, unfortunately,

00:19:18.620 they're mostly invisible it's it's the alarm that you didn't wake up to on the first go around

00:19:26.340 it's it's the workout that nobody saw nobody claps for it's it's that drink that you didn't order

00:19:33.640 it's the honest sentence or a hard conversation nobody sees any of that

00:19:39.240 that's what makes it a forging process instead of just

00:19:44.460 a performance where you're entertaining for likes and validation all right number three

00:19:53.280 you have to govern masculinity with some sort of principled approach

00:19:58.040 the same strength that protects people can also exploit people the same power that that shields

00:20:09.020 the weak and the vulnerable is the same power that can prey on the weak and the vulnerable

00:20:17.240 we see it we know it we know there's people being taken advantage of and being exploited

00:20:21.760 there's no version of force that is automatically good the only thing

00:20:27.300 standing between the two is what i would say is a code

00:20:30.280 a man governs his masculinity with principle what is your principle

00:20:37.960 you have to decide in advance by the way in in in the dark at night in the morning when nobody's

00:20:46.760 listening when you're journaling what you will and will not do when the pressure comes

00:20:51.780 when you have to hold that line when it will cost you time and money and energy and resources

00:20:59.040 or satisfaction or comfort when no one else will know if you folded that's what separates a man

00:21:05.980 from a child, a boy who happens to be on his just best behavior.

00:21:13.440 The child, the boy is good when it's easy,

00:21:16.600 but the man has a code that binds him when it's hard.

00:21:21.040 Masculinity is forged in difficulty

00:21:22.880 or at a minimum, it's revealed in difficulty.

00:21:26.680 It doesn't reveal itself in easy times.

00:21:30.640 It's easy to be good when everything's going well.

00:21:33.600 That doesn't make you a man.

00:21:35.980 what makes you a man is what you can do when times are hard or there's another quote

00:21:40.520 absolute power corrupts absolutely so and i'll probably butcher this one what's the quote about

00:21:48.240 uh you know give a man power and you can see who he really is

00:21:52.600 give a man hardship and you can see who he really is

00:21:57.080 okay and i think that was i think it was lincoln who said that if you want to test

00:22:04.860 a man's character and give him power. That's the whole game. Power doesn't build character.

00:22:12.400 It just reveals more of it. As in a previous life, I was a financial advisor

00:22:18.000 and people would say, well, you know, if I had money, then I'd be good. Then I'd be charitable.

00:22:23.240 Then I'd do this. Then I'd do that. No, you wouldn't. You'd be the exact same person you

00:22:26.600 are right now on steroids that's it the power that you have doesn't make you better it just

00:22:37.260 gives you leverage to utilize who you already are good bad or indifferent but principle code

00:22:46.900 righteousness, virtue decides ahead of time that there's this thing that can survive

00:22:55.820 contact with power, I guess you could say. Like when you have power, it's principle that actually

00:23:05.060 keeps you in line, that makes you a man. All right. Number four is that you have to aim this

00:23:12.920 outward in service of others. Okay. Undefined masculinity points inward. That's what it does.

00:23:23.640 It just points inward. It's my wants. It's my status. It's my appetite. It's my desires. It's

00:23:32.460 my comfort. It's just this closed loop. And a man stuck in that loop, he's going to be miserable

00:23:38.760 even when he's winning because he's just feeding the monster that's never full.

00:23:47.820 But manliness takes that exact same force and it turns it outward towards protecting,

00:23:53.760 towards providing, towards presiding, towards leading people who actually depend on you,

00:23:59.040 your wife, your kids, your colleagues, your coworkers, your family members. And notice

00:24:03.780 that the energy doesn't shrink, right?

00:24:07.360 We're not asking you men to become smaller.

00:24:11.080 We're actually, I would ask and argue and assert

00:24:14.920 that we want men to be more powerful,

00:24:18.120 but we want to give that power to something righteous.

00:24:23.400 And I really want you to picture this in your mind

00:24:25.760 as vividly as you can.

00:24:28.560 Let's say you've got two guys,

00:24:30.260 same ambition same fire one pours it entirely into his own reflection

00:24:41.020 it's it's the numbers it's the image it's the performance and the other pours it into

00:24:47.660 a wife who feels safe by him kids who feel led and seen a team that's better for having

00:24:56.560 that man in the room. Again, same raw material, but two completely different men.

00:25:02.940 One is just consumptive, consume, consume, consume, eat everything. It's like the hamburger 0.55

00:25:07.680 with a hamburger or whatever his name with McDonald's, just consume all the burgers,

00:25:11.420 consume everything. And the other is building something worthwhile,

00:25:17.700 serving other people, leaning into other people, building an empire, offering value,

00:25:23.600 offering products and services, offering refuge.

00:25:28.840 That's the difference between a man who,

00:25:32.240 I was going to say take up space, but it's worse than that.

00:25:36.280 Just takes up, consumes resources, I would say it,

00:25:40.460 and a man who holds space for other people.

00:25:44.420 All right, and the last way that we turn masculinity into manliness is this.

00:25:48.980 none of the first four happen if you're sitting on the couch

00:25:53.920 you can't refine raw force by reading about it by talking about it by listening to it on this

00:26:02.640 podcast you refine it by putting it to the test against real resistance just like steel gets

00:26:09.240 tempered by heat and pressure by being worked i've got my everyday carry knife right here

00:26:15.640 shameless plug for my friends over at montana knife this is their brand new folding knife but

00:26:20.400 this metal this steel i've actually gone through and done their tour at their brand new facility

00:26:26.500 outside of missoula this knife doesn't become useful just because josh and his team decided

00:26:34.360 to shape it into something no it goes through a process of heat and pressure and being grinded

00:26:40.600 against. And then it becomes a useful tool. And the same is

00:26:46.300 true for you. You can be a useful tool, or you can be a

00:26:53.360 useful idiot. And unfortunately, there's way too many useful 1.00

00:26:56.480 idiots. It's voluntary difficulty. It's choosing hard 1.00

00:27:02.960 things. It's the failure that you internalize, and then you

00:27:08.860 answer instead of just avoid it. Every single rep of your life against real resistance makes you

00:27:15.940 and the steel that you're operating from a little more, a little better, a little sharper,

00:27:20.980 a little harder, a little stronger. A man who has never been tested by anything or is not

00:27:27.540 willing to be uncomfortable is a man who just has potential and he does. But what does potential

00:27:35.640 mean other than stored energy that is meant to be deployed. But a man who's been through the fire,

00:27:44.060 he has proof for himself and for the people who are watching him. Your wife is watching you guys.

00:27:51.860 Your kids are watching you. Are you proving that you're capable of leading them to a place they

00:27:57.660 could not have imagined going on their own? And more importantly, that kind of guy who's gone

00:28:03.660 through the refiner's fire knows what he's made of, which means that the fear that might cripple

00:28:10.680 lesser men loses its power over the man who's proven that he's capable of handling it.

00:28:20.620 This is why I will never, ever tell you to seek the comfortable path.

00:28:26.420 It doesn't forge anything. It's the resistance that does that work.

00:28:31.080 you should be a little suspicious of a life that never asks anything of you i mean how many of you

00:28:39.800 have wished at some point in your life that life was easier i've certainly done that but i think it

00:28:48.460 was bruce lee i think is where the quote is attributed to do not pray for an easier life

00:28:54.340 pray for the strength to endure a more difficult one that's the kind of men that we want to become

00:29:00.540 not that there's nothing wrong. And by the way, this is the distinction also between happiness

00:29:05.440 and fulfillment. This is how I define it anyways. And words are important. So we give them meaning

00:29:09.660 and the meaning for me between happiness and fulfillment. Happiness is just could be ignorant 0.71

00:29:14.780 bliss. And how many people do you know that are just happy because everything's going well? So

00:29:20.700 I'm happy. Well, I'd be happy too. But what happens when it gets hard? Does that happiness go away?

00:29:26.900 yeah typically and then people who have never been tested end up wallowing in their own self

00:29:32.240 pity because things got a little hard fulfillment on the other hand to me is not the absence of

00:29:40.140 hardship it's the strength to endure meaningful hardship we don't need to make life hard just to

00:29:49.740 make it hard to prove to anybody else that we're men. That's, that's not, that's performative

00:29:56.680 again. That's not, that's faux masculinity or faux manliness. I should say it's not,

00:30:01.280 it's not real manliness. So guys, I'll leave you with this. Masculinity is what you and me were

00:30:09.540 handed biologically. We're entitled to it. We have a right to it because it's a simply a set

00:30:15.760 of characteristics behaviors that are biologically constructed based on our biological makeup but

00:30:23.340 manliness is what you do with it that force is never the problem and don't let the american

00:30:29.040 psychological association tell you don't let raging feminists tell you don't let cry hard liberals tell

00:30:36.980 you that you as a man are the problem you are not the problem your behaviors could potentially be

00:30:45.120 i'll i'll give them that your behavior could potentially be but who you are your biological

00:30:51.780 makeup is not a problem so we need to call each other up and step up ourselves into what it means

00:30:57.140 to be manly a man with no force has nothing to refine nothing to offer this is like jordan

00:31:05.320 peterson when he talks about uh a harmless man is not a good man he's not he's not he's not good

00:31:13.140 because he's incapable of doing anything meaningful he's good because he has the

00:31:17.840 ability to do something meaningful and instead of destroying everything in its path he does

00:31:22.600 something righteous with it it's not the absence of capability or strength or power or dominance

00:31:30.820 or aggression it's the ability to harness that into productive outcomes for yourself and for

00:31:36.340 other people if you don't have a mission if you don't have discipline if you don't have a code

00:31:42.000 if you don't have anybody to serve nothing to serve you don't have any fire to temper it

00:31:47.100 you're going to be a problem and you're going to feel the effects of that i guarantee you

00:31:51.560 because i have in my life and then we end up fighting or we end up freezing or we end up

00:31:59.760 fleeing fleeing might look like suicide or just avoidance of everything isolation maybe

00:32:07.660 fighting might be unbridled aggression might be violence towards other people who don't deserve

00:32:14.080 it freezing is just indifference nice guys freeze they don't talk they don't assert they

00:32:19.860 don't share and they just get stepped all over because they're frozen because they don't know

00:32:24.600 what to do with it a lot of it has to do with the fact that nobody showed them and society

00:32:29.840 acts actively fights against it and we know why good men are harder to subjugate

00:32:35.360 okay all of us have the same simple building blocks underneath

00:32:42.300 but a man taking control of that raw material instead of being controlled by it is somebody

00:32:49.340 who's going to be valuable to society and that's the work not becoming less of a man becoming a

00:32:55.180 man who's fully in command of everything that you already are you were given that fire you don't

00:33:01.780 need to apologize for it or feel bad about it. You were given it to make it something. So go make

00:33:07.640 something. So that's it for this one, guys. I hope that helps. And I hope it hits home for you. And

00:33:13.480 if it does, I want you to do this work with other men who are serious about it. And that's why we

00:33:18.500 talk so much about these things inside of our exclusive brotherhood, the Iron Council.

00:33:23.020 These are conversations that we're having. We're diving deep into what makes us men and how we

00:33:27.360 utilize our god-given talents gifts and abilities and characteristics for productive outcomes we

00:33:33.180 want to live fulfilled lives fulfilled lives excuse me so check it out go to order a man.com

00:33:38.900 iron council we are open for enrollment right now in bandwidth the thousand plus men who are doing

00:33:45.420 the work of harnessing masculinity and turning it into manliness all right guys we will be back

00:33:51.820 next week. Until then, go out there, take action, and become the man you are meant to be.

00:33:56.760 Thank you for listening to the Order of Man podcast. If you're ready to take charge of your

00:34:01.060 life and be more of the man you were meant to be, we invite you to join the Order at orderofman.com.

Order of Man - June 12, 2026

How to Forge Masculinity Into Manliness ｜ FRIDAY FIELD NOTES

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