Order of Man - Humility and Pride, Finding Your "Generals," and Offering Hope to Your Community

00:00:00.000 You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest. Embrace your fears and boldly chart your own path.

00:00:06.020 When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time. Every time.

00:00:10.500 You are not easily deterred or defeated. Rugged. Resilient. Strong.

00:00:15.500 This is your life. This is who you are. This is who you will become.

00:00:19.760 At the end of the day, and after all is said and done, you can call yourself a man.

00:00:25.120 Kip, what's going on, man? Glad to be back and joining you for another round of Ask Me Anything.

00:00:29.060 I think we're 56 episodes in. I say that, but I don't know. You may have a different number.

00:00:34.260 It seems like your number is always one or two off.

00:00:36.940 And it was usually one or two off lower than yours, and I actually have this one down as 57.

00:00:42.620 So maybe it's 57.

00:00:43.740 See, we can't get on the same page. I don't know.

00:00:46.340 Either way, we've been going for a little over a year now, right?

00:00:49.520 Yeah, yeah. In fact, I was thinking about this because we had Origin Camp last week.

00:00:55.540 I believe Origin, when we were at Origin, that was only the second or third AMA was the one that we did in person at Origin.

00:01:07.440 So Origin is kind of our milestone for roughly.

00:01:14.320 Did we do an AMA there or did we do a Friday Field Notes there?

00:01:17.920 We did both.

00:01:18.820 Oh, okay. I remember the Friday Field Notes.

00:01:21.040 Yeah, we did the AMA, and then you were honoring your word in the sense of you would never miss an episode.

00:01:29.380 And we did a mad – kind of a little bit of an ad hoc mad scramble jujitsu session Friday night, I believe.

00:01:36.980 I actually almost did the same thing this year.

00:01:39.300 I caught it a little bit earlier, so I gave myself enough time, but I actually almost ran into the exact same problem that I did last year.

00:01:45.420 And I don't know what it is about – well, I know what it is.

00:01:48.660 I'm distracted and excited and have another million things on my mind that entire week.

00:01:53.460 So I know what the problem is.

00:01:55.160 I just need to have a plan to better address it.

00:01:58.140 Yeah.

00:01:58.320 Well, you're up with Jocko that just got – as of the release of this podcast that got released yesterday, spot on.

00:02:08.800 It was a great, great episode with Jocko.

00:02:11.140 Were you able to listen to all of it?

00:02:12.240 Because I got about – I don't know.

00:02:14.140 I must have got three or four dozen messages that said that it only uploaded my introduction and my goodbye at the end of it.

00:02:24.820 And that's all that it recorded or all that it was showing, but we fixed it.

00:02:28.480 But you listened to it all, it sounds like.

00:02:30.740 Yeah.

00:02:31.160 Well, I didn't get through all of it.

00:02:32.920 I'm about halfway through, so about 20 minutes in.

00:02:36.360 So it seems fine so far.

00:02:37.880 I've just appreciated that you didn't use my name about the individual that got lost at origin and ended up in the wrong camp.

00:02:44.860 Well, we didn't want to throw you completely under the bus, just a little bit under.

00:02:48.220 Yeah.

00:02:48.500 Although I think I just did.

00:02:49.860 Yeah.

00:02:50.140 Yeah.

00:02:50.380 Well, that was you, not me.

00:02:51.980 You can do it to yourself.

00:02:53.520 I'll own it.

00:02:54.240 Yeah.

00:02:54.740 It's kind of like giving unsolicited feedback because a lot of guys will do that.

00:02:58.500 They'll give unsolicited feedback and it's like, no, that never goes well.

00:03:02.640 Let that individual own it.

00:03:04.100 They can talk as much crap about themselves as they want, but if you're going to do it, you're probably going to run against a wall.

00:03:09.180 So it's better to let other individuals throw themselves under the bus rather than you do it.

00:03:13.240 I appreciate that.

00:03:14.480 No problem, man.

00:03:14.960 It was cool listening to how Echelon Front got started and how Jocko got started.

00:03:21.060 Yeah.

00:03:21.180 I didn't really know that.

00:03:22.060 I never understood that.

00:03:23.000 Yeah.

00:03:23.420 Yeah.

00:03:24.600 Yeah.

00:03:25.000 He's really insightful.

00:03:26.060 He's always – he's good to talk with.

00:03:28.480 He's interesting to talk with.

00:03:29.560 At times, he's so matter-of-fact that it makes it difficult, quite honestly, at times.

00:03:35.000 But I've gotten to know him a little better over the years and that's certainly worked a little better.

00:03:39.000 Yeah.

00:03:39.540 It's funny.

00:03:40.260 As a guy who writes books, who has a podcast, when you have a conversation with him, he's a man of few words, right?

00:03:48.040 So you mentioned something.

00:03:49.480 He's like, yeah, good.

00:03:51.640 Yeah.

00:03:51.960 And so sometimes if I didn't know – yeah, that's exactly right.

00:03:54.940 And if I didn't know him, I might think that he didn't want to be there or that he was bothered or put out.

00:04:02.080 It's actually not that at all.

00:04:03.480 It's just he's so convicted with regards to what he believes and he knows it.

00:04:07.940 And he actually talked about this in the podcast.

00:04:09.720 He knows it to be true.

00:04:12.000 So I imagine for people, not just Jocko, but people like that, that it would be difficult for them to understand why everybody else doesn't already know that.

00:04:21.520 And there's no new information and here's what you need to know, period, the end.

00:04:25.340 So I think a lot of people are actually striving for that level of commitment and clarity and focus.

00:04:32.940 And that's why he's done as well as he has, at least part of the reason he's done so well.

00:04:36.940 Totally.

00:04:38.100 And I think that style of communication is just highly effective.

00:04:43.320 It's just –

00:04:43.860 Well, it is because there's not a whole lot to be interpreted.

00:04:46.600 It's like here's – it's matter of fact.

00:04:48.740 There's no other interpretation of it, which is actually good.

00:04:52.180 That's a leadership strategy is be very clear in your communication so there's no misunderstanding about where you stand and what is expected of you as a follower or an employee or a subordinate or whatever.

00:05:04.840 Yeah, it was great.

00:05:07.260 Well, good job.

00:05:08.260 Should we get started today?

00:05:09.640 I think we probably ought to do that.

00:05:11.380 Yeah.

00:05:12.260 We got some good questions.

00:05:13.560 You reviewed them with me before we got started.

00:05:15.260 And for those of you who don't know what we're doing here, we usually talk about nothing and everything for five or ten minutes at first.

00:05:21.380 And then we actually get into what we're supposed to be doing on the podcast, which is answering your questions, which is what we're going to do now.

00:05:27.160 So we're going to answer your questions from Facebook, from the Iron Council, which is our exclusive brotherhood.

00:05:33.460 And I think these ones are maybe some spillover from the Facebook group if I understand correctly.

00:05:38.880 Yep, we got a mad, mad dump of questions from Facebook.

00:05:43.100 And so for you guys that are not with us on Facebook, you can join us at facebook.com slash group slash order of man.

00:05:51.000 And that's really where these questions are coming from.

00:05:54.860 So first question.

00:05:56.300 Oh, go ahead.

00:05:57.340 I just said perfect.

00:05:58.420 That's okay.

00:05:59.580 Excellent.

00:06:00.240 All right.

00:06:00.640 Tyler Ewing.

00:06:01.940 Ryan, I would like to know if you have any plans to visit Mount Catedine.

00:06:06.880 Uh, that's part of the Appalachian Trail.

00:06:09.460 It has some terrific camping at the base.

00:06:11.760 It is in the Baxter State Park there in Maine.

00:06:14.560 Do you live anywhere near there?

00:06:16.440 I don't know if I live near there.

00:06:19.000 Um, there's a lot of places that I want to see.

00:06:21.500 And you know, what's interesting is for as limited amount of people that live in Maine, everybody, it seems like knows a place in Maine, which is very cool because I get a lot of suggestions and feedback and idea and go check out this place and go to this restaurant and do this hike.

00:06:35.640 I love that.

00:06:37.140 Uh, quite honestly, I haven't done a whole lot of exploring.

00:06:40.000 We've explored the local area and the surrounding areas with my family and done the beach trips and Freeport and Portland and some of the bigger areas, Bangor, things like that.

00:06:48.140 Uh, but we'll get into all that.

00:06:49.620 So, uh, that is not on my radar currently, but certainly something that we're going to, we're going to be doing.

00:06:55.200 Yeah, I'm assuming by moving to Maine, you guys have a, you almost have to start maintaining a list of things to go or places to go and things to try, uh, just because there's so many, um, new things around you guys.

00:07:09.180 I'm assuming.

00:07:10.360 Yeah.

00:07:10.980 Yeah.

00:07:11.220 I mean, there, there, there's always something to do.

00:07:13.200 So just, we, we find something every weekend and we go do it and crank it out and have fun and do our thing and we have a good time.

00:07:20.460 Love it.

00:07:21.200 All right.

00:07:21.960 Tucker Watkins, any tips for shift workers on how to balance family life, work, and in general, I'm in already a struggling marriage.

00:07:31.340 And this recent job change to make things better has seemed to make things worse.

00:07:36.900 When he's saying shift work, do you think he's saying that his schedule is not consistent?

00:07:43.120 Yeah.

00:07:43.460 I'm assuming he's working graveyards and then swing and yeah, you know what I mean?

00:07:47.560 Sure.

00:07:48.200 Yeah.

00:07:49.060 Uh, yeah, that's tough for sure because you can't create any sort of pattern or routine or, or even boundaries in a lot of ways.

00:07:56.060 And so that makes for a challenge.

00:07:57.560 Uh, I, I think the glaring solution, although it's not easy, I'm telling you that it's not easy, is that you may need to make a change in, in your work.

00:08:09.040 You, and it may not happen overnight.

00:08:11.240 It may take a year or two or three years, but if you are in this situation that you're not satisfied with right now, then I have to ask, what are you doing to put yourself in a better position down the road?

00:08:23.820 What are you doing right now that will tee up future success?

00:08:26.980 I think a lot of guys are so short sighted because they're focused on paying the bills or saving their marriage or any number of things that they need to address that they aren't willing to look at least into the future a little bit and wonder or think or ponder or plan on how life is going to change in the next three months, six months, a year, five years, 10 years.

00:08:48.660 Uh, I've heard it termed the rat race.

00:08:51.200 You're always on this, this wheel, this spinning wheel.

00:08:54.020 And at some point you have to jump off the wheel.

00:08:56.760 Now you can do some things that are going to plan again and to tee you up to, for success.

00:09:01.100 But if you're always spinning, you never give yourself the time or attention to jump off the wheel and get into something else.

00:09:07.280 And, uh, that's something that you probably ought to focus on sooner rather than later, because it sounds like the marriage is falling apart.

00:09:14.120 Again, that's not the easy answer.

00:09:16.120 It's a simple answer.

00:09:17.380 It's not the easy answer.

00:09:18.820 Uh, but as far as what you do currently, you build in buffers and you build in margin and you create and establish very clear boundaries between work and your family life.

00:09:28.460 You definitely, definitely keep the lines of communication open with your wife, because I would just assume without knowing the situation and getting into all the details that there's probably a breakdown in communication.

00:09:41.880 I think I can safely say that if your marriage is struggling, there's probably a breakdown in communication and she might be struggling with your schedule just as much as you are.

00:09:50.960 And that's not going to be fixed necessarily right away.

00:09:53.480 But if you open up the lines of communication and you ask her what's going on and you tell her what you're thinking and feeling and what you're experiencing, then you can start coming to some mutual understandings and find some common ground on this stuff.

00:10:06.380 I know those maybe aren't extremely enlightening answers, but they're answers nonetheless.

00:10:13.380 And I think they're going to serve you very, very well if you implement both of those.

00:10:18.380 I mean, Tucker, you mentioned in his question that it's already a struggling marriage.

00:10:22.820 So I would say by introducing more complexity to a struggling marriage is not going to help the marriage, right?

00:10:29.960 Like, so I would kind of put it back on Tucker.

00:10:33.260 Why is the marriage currently struggling and are you addressing those items?

00:10:37.760 And I really think, too, like and you kind of alluded to it, Ryan, but sometimes I feel that if our circumstances are difficult, as long as that communication is open, as long as you and your spouse are on the same page and you're working towards something, the quote unquote struggle of shift work, the quote unquote struggles of life can actually be really good for your marriage.

00:11:01.640 It's when we let those circumstances affect us in a negative way that then it snowballs and makes things even more difficult.

00:11:10.220 So there's an opportunity to actually better your marriage if you guys are on the same page, if the communication is clear, that she's bought in, right, that there's expectation being set, that she's committed to the expectation that is being set, that's properly communicated and she agrees with it.

00:11:31.200 Like if you guys can get on the same page in regards to what the struggle looks like and what you're doing as a couple and how you're going to support each other and not just her support you.

00:11:41.220 Let's be really clear.

00:11:42.140 You support her as well in this process.

00:11:44.700 This could be a good thing.

00:11:46.160 It really could be.

00:11:47.400 Some of the best times of my life, of my marriage is when we've struggled.

00:11:52.140 But it's not easy, but don't get me wrong, but you can come together if you address it appropriately.

00:11:58.480 It's when we don't address it that we end up having problems.

00:12:01.200 Concurred.

00:12:03.080 That's absolutely right.

00:12:05.320 Do you guys get that?

00:12:06.640 It's right.

00:12:07.480 It's right.

00:12:08.360 Approved by Ryan.

00:12:09.980 The one and only authority on the subject.

00:12:15.080 It's funny because every once in a while we'll get – of course, every day it seems like I get – who made you the authority?

00:12:20.640 Like, dude, I've never said I'm the authority.

00:12:22.720 I'm never at a loss for words, but I'm certainly not the authority.

00:12:26.960 So take it all with a grain of salt, fellas, as if I need to say that.

00:12:31.160 Well, and just – it's about the conversation, right?

00:12:33.880 That's about the ideas and the conversation and how they benefit us.

00:12:36.640 I think that's exactly right.

00:12:37.960 It's just –

00:12:38.160 You and I hanging out and having lunch and if Tucker was with us and we were just chatting about whatever, that's what this is.

00:12:45.040 I think it's a great point.

00:12:46.020 Yeah, it's – and that dialogue and discussion is very, very important because it seems like more and more that's being shut down.

00:12:52.040 Heaven forbid we disagree with, you know, something I said and then I'm a horrible human being.

00:12:57.500 It can't just be isolated to – no, I don't agree with Ryan on that.

00:13:00.300 It's that I'm a horrible human being and everything I say is garbage and don't listen to a word I've ever shared.

00:13:07.080 Like, you know, there is some middle ground on that spectrum of being absolutely right and never right and I probably fall somewhere in between.

00:13:16.380 I mean, yeah, Ryan Navratle, when the changes you make begin to be routine and or habits, how do you keep going?

00:13:26.080 How do you stay excited and fresh?

00:13:28.840 Well, that's kind of the point.

00:13:31.000 The point is that you're implementing changes with your habits and then they become so routine and ingrained into what you're doing.

00:13:37.840 Like, you don't – your expectation, for example, is not that taking a shower or brushing your teeth is going to be exciting.

00:13:43.780 Like, that's not why you do it.

00:13:46.960 You don't go into the – in the bathroom and think, man, I'm going to comb my hair today.

00:13:52.180 I'm so excited to do this and it's like – it's new and it's fresh and it's exciting.

00:13:56.060 No, you just go do it because it's a habit and that's what you do and you care about your hygiene and the way you look and the way you present yourself and so you do it.

00:14:06.020 It's the same thing with other habits like going into the gym.

00:14:08.940 Who told you that that needs to be exciting and make you feel alive and everything about it has to be wonderful for you to continue?

00:14:15.500 No, you just do it because that's what you do and you know it's part of the routine and that's great.

00:14:20.980 So, what you're doing when you're establishing new habits is you're establishing what my friend Zach Evanesh calls the new normal.

00:14:28.380 It's the new normal.

00:14:29.580 You're normal right now.

00:14:30.840 Standard, yeah.

00:14:31.040 That's all it is.

00:14:31.560 It's the standard.

00:14:32.420 So, you're creating a baseline standard.

00:14:34.100 The way you operate in your life right now is a baseline standard.

00:14:36.860 If you add new things into it, it's above and beyond the standard.

00:14:40.280 Now, once you do it long enough, that becomes the new standard.

00:14:43.520 So, what do you do?

00:14:44.440 Level up.

00:14:46.200 You level up.

00:14:47.080 I was thinking about it at jujitsu with Origin Immersion Camp last week and I heard – I think he was a brown belt maybe and I'm sure you would echo these sentiments.

00:14:57.300 Is he said, man, this just never gets easier.

00:15:01.780 This never gets easier.

00:15:03.180 And then me as a new white belt, I was thinking to myself before he said that, I'm like, I can't wait until I'm a blue belt or a purple or brown because this is going to be a whole lot easier.

00:15:15.500 And he's like – and again, you would echo this.

00:15:18.320 He said it never gets easier.

00:15:19.920 Why?

00:15:20.560 Because it's the new normal, right?

00:15:22.920 When you learn what you need to learn as a white belt, you become a blue belt.

00:15:26.340 And now the blue belt standard is the standard, right?

00:15:29.820 You learn some of the fundamentals and the foundations and then you can build upon that.

00:15:33.680 And so, you mix these new strategies and techniques and more complex ideas into the scenario so that you're not coasting.

00:15:42.440 In fact, it never gets easier.

00:15:44.720 You just implement new things that are more challenging that are going to push you even further than you were before.

00:15:49.020 So, in real life, how does this work?

00:15:51.800 The way that it works is by implementing a workout routine or a reading practice.

00:15:58.660 Any number of things that you're trying to implement in your life, that becomes the new normal.

00:16:02.200 And then in order to push yourself further, you have to go further.

00:16:07.900 That might mean if we're talking about reading that you read a little bit more or you read something that you've never read before.

00:16:13.340 That's maybe a little bit more advanced or complex or outside of the genre that you would normally read.

00:16:19.880 If we're talking about exercise, it might be that you're doing strength training and that's all you're doing.

00:16:25.400 So, instead of that, why not throw a three to five mile run in every week or two?

00:16:31.120 It's expanding your capabilities that keep you propelling and moving forward.

00:16:35.560 But make no mistake, the habits you're implementing, they're not supposed to be exciting because exciting isn't the goal.

00:16:42.160 Winning is, however you define that.

00:16:44.860 And winning, frankly, isn't exciting.

00:16:46.700 I remember in high school going to football practice.

00:16:49.180 Dude, I hated football practice.

00:16:50.940 I love football, but I hated football practice.

00:16:54.700 But I went because it wasn't about liking it or not.

00:16:59.180 It was about, I love the sport and I wanted to win and I wanted to succeed and that's what it required.

00:17:05.220 So, a lot of these habits and things that we implement, we do in spite of them maybe not being the most enjoyable thing or not the most exciting thing.

00:17:12.720 But we just know what it leads to and that is the ultimate objective, not to be merely entertained.

00:17:18.520 Do you think because Ryan is asking this question from, you know, how do you keep it exciting and fresh that these actions have not become a habit because he's looking for excitement and fresh?

00:17:31.260 Like, it's still mundane.

00:17:32.660 It's still like he's drudging through it like, oh, man, I have to go to the gym.

00:17:36.300 Yeah, that's an interesting perspective.

00:17:37.560 It's not a habit yet.

00:17:38.640 Yeah, that's an interesting perspective.

00:17:40.300 And it might be that, what you're saying.

00:17:41.780 It also might be that it's not clearly tied to an objective that resonates with him.

00:17:48.520 Like, yeah, his vision of this doesn't propel him forward to get it done.

00:17:53.560 For example, writing.

00:17:55.160 And I've talked about this.

00:17:56.400 I don't particularly enjoy writing.

00:17:58.400 I don't do blogs.

00:18:00.080 I love being in front of a camera or behind a microphone, but I do not like to write.

00:18:04.360 Well, I wrote a book last year.

00:18:07.660 For me, I could get past the discomfort and the fact that I didn't enjoy writing because it was tied into not having a book,

00:18:16.060 but it was tied into getting a message out to a new audience that had not heard my message before.

00:18:20.920 And that, to me, was exciting.

00:18:23.320 So when I didn't feel like writing a thousand words per day, and trust me, there were plenty of days where I didn't feel like doing that.

00:18:30.100 I did it anyways because I knew that my ultimate objective, which was exciting to me, getting this message out to more men,

00:18:36.880 was the ultimate objective.

00:18:38.820 And therefore, in order to fulfill that, I had to do something I wasn't necessarily excited about doing.

00:18:46.400 Yeah.

00:18:47.240 Yeah.

00:18:47.880 And I do think there's a little bit of sometimes we have these routines, whether we're excited about them or not, right?

00:18:55.780 Life.

00:18:57.040 It's okay to mix things up and have excitement and keep things fresh.

00:19:02.640 And so I really think it's kind of two different ways, right?

00:19:06.020 I think Ryan could have a routine and habit and kind of be, you know, getting after it and doing his things, tied to a vision or whatever.

00:19:12.680 And then every so often, mix it up, right, to make things maybe exciting if you're not trying new things.

00:19:18.300 But that could be everything from maybe not changing your routine or not changing like, oh, I'm not going to work out anymore.

00:19:24.840 But maybe it's, hey, I'm going to mix in yoga once a week or I'm going to do something different than I'm not normally used to.

00:19:31.400 I'm going to go do sprints at the track or, you know, there's ways to kind of if you if you feel it's been mundane, then maybe there's there's other strategies to mix it up a little bit.

00:19:41.740 Yeah.

00:19:42.040 Yep.

00:19:42.320 That's exactly right.

00:19:43.200 That's how I look at it as well, too.

00:19:44.900 Okay.

00:19:45.220 All right.

00:19:45.980 Dustin Darby, how can you address hopelessness in a small secluded community?

00:19:51.440 Drugs are rampant.

00:19:52.580 Homelessness is rising.

00:19:54.160 Jobs are scarce.

00:19:55.680 Kids are suffering from abuse like it's normal.

00:19:57.960 They go hungry.

00:19:59.060 Large majority of homes don't even have running water.

00:20:02.260 The kids have nothing to aspire to.

00:20:04.160 My wife and I moved here trying to give them some hope.

00:20:07.160 She is a teacher.

00:20:08.080 I just became an officer.

00:20:09.500 I'm starting a group for juniors and seniors to give them some some of the things I've learned here.

00:20:15.220 What can we do to continue giving hope in such a dark place?

00:20:19.340 So I want to answer this with the disclaimer and the assumption that you've already made the decision that this is a battle worth fighting for you because it might not be.

00:20:30.460 And and I'm not saying that about you in particular.

00:20:33.140 What was the gentleman's name?

00:20:34.920 Dustin Darby.

00:20:35.840 Dustin.

00:20:36.240 So I'm not talking about Dustin particularly.

00:20:38.180 I'm just saying in general, there are certain battles that we feel like are hopeless.

00:20:42.540 And I just want to let guys know you aren't required to fight that battle.

00:20:46.060 You aren't required to fight that battle.

00:20:48.800 You have to choose which battle is worth fighting for you.

00:20:52.740 So I'm just going to assume that Dustin, because he's asking this question, the fact that he just moved here and his role within the community, his wife's role within the community, they have made the decision that this is the battle worth fighting.

00:21:04.320 Does that make sense?

00:21:05.220 Why I would bring that up?

00:21:05.960 Totally, totally, totally.

00:21:07.480 Well, and because sometimes you might get people that for the wrong reasons, say they, quote unquote, want to fight a battle, but they're but they're really not driven towards it.

00:21:17.860 And that may not be the battle for them.

00:21:20.040 Right.

00:21:20.280 Something else may drive them substantially higher and further than just any problem.

00:21:26.500 Right.

00:21:27.420 Yep.

00:21:27.860 That's exactly right.

00:21:28.960 So, again, we'll go back to the assumption that this is the battle that Dustin's chosen to fight.

00:21:32.920 And I commend you for finding something that's meaningful and engaging and significant to you and your wife as well.

00:21:38.400 It is going to be an uphill battle.

00:21:40.420 And I think you understand that.

00:21:41.920 I imagine that you didn't come into this thing blindfolded to what was going on or the reality.

00:21:46.460 Maybe it was a little worse than you thought it was initially, but I do commend you for doing that.

00:21:51.280 Here's what I would say is that you have to begin to start a movement.

00:21:53.900 And what you want to accomplish within a community like this, a very depressed, maybe economically inviolable community where poverty and maybe a criminal activity has gotten out of hand a little bit, is that you aren't going to be able to do it by yourself.

00:22:12.320 You just aren't.

00:22:12.820 There's no way that you're going to be doing it by yourself because you are a minority and frankly, your voice and your example and your impact isn't as broad as it needs to be in order to affect the change that you're after.

00:22:26.660 So, that said, what I would do is I would look for the bright rays of hope within the community.

00:22:34.400 And trust me, there are.

00:22:35.760 There are people in your community who feel the same way that you do, who would love to see more families intact, who would love to see jobs being brought into the area, who would love to see a reduction in criminal activity.

00:22:50.620 You have to find those people.

00:22:53.180 You have to find those people.

00:22:54.480 And when you do, you begin to band with them.

00:22:56.820 Maybe that's an organization or you meet on a weekly basis and you begin to discuss with these individuals what can be done.

00:23:03.120 You insert yourself into the powerful, important conversations within politics and what's happening in the communities and neighborhoods.

00:23:10.340 And you go to town hall events and you run for office and you start to impact and make some of these changes.

00:23:16.040 And you enlist other people at the school and at the school district and in the police force, these other first responders.

00:23:22.860 These are people who naturally are going to gravitate towards wanting to serve the neighborhood and the community anyways, but you can't do it alone.

00:23:31.600 So, you can take a page out of the Order of Man playbook.

00:23:36.200 If I called this Order of Ryan, it wouldn't nearly be as successful as it is right now.

00:23:41.620 It's called Order of Man for a reason.

00:23:45.160 And that's why, Kip, you're on this podcast.

00:23:47.940 That's why we have 25 plus team leaders in the Iron Council.

00:23:52.440 That's why Chris Gatchko runs our events.

00:23:54.980 That's why Drew Kuchurik is our network manager.

00:23:58.140 That's why you're the team leader liaison.

00:23:59.740 I have all of these people in different places based on what they're good at because I realize I cannot have the type of reach that I'm after on my own.

00:24:10.240 So, what I would start doing, Dustin, right?

00:24:13.660 Yep.

00:24:14.000 Is, Dustin, I would start looking for your generals.

00:24:18.000 Who are the generals that are going to step into this battle with you?

00:24:22.460 And then you be the leader of that.

00:24:24.600 You talk about what needs to change.

00:24:26.120 You talk about your strategies, any ideas.

00:24:28.180 And then you start to enlist your generals and then enlist your captains and your majors.

00:24:34.020 And you just work down the line and you let these people do the work that you're interested in doing as well.

00:24:38.800 But you got to leverage your ability.

00:24:40.080 Otherwise, you just won't make the impact that you're after.

00:24:45.280 It's a great response.

00:24:46.480 I totally want to ask this question, Ryan, because I think sometimes, and I'm not saying Dustin has this issue, but I think sometimes when we want to create a movement, right, and we're in a leadership position, and we have the conversation around getting generals, one struggle that a lot of guys have, and or women, I'm sure, have the same issue, is they hold it close to their chest, right?

00:25:14.880 It's their thing.

00:25:17.060 And because of that, sometimes they have a hard time letting go.

00:25:20.840 They have a hard time enabling the Chris Gatchko, the Drew, the Kip Sorensen to take a leadership role within that organization because it's their baby.

00:25:32.640 What advice would you give Dustin?

00:25:35.760 And I'm not saying if that is the case, but what advice would you give Dustin or other guys that might struggle with that?

00:25:40.780 That that might be a natural tendency to not give up – to give up some of the control, to struggle with giving up that control and allow that community to kind of take on new leadership to some extent.

00:25:52.180 Well, I think generally at a 30,000-foot level, you need to let go of the ego because you can keep this as your baby or you can have it impact thousands if not tens and hundreds of thousands of people.

00:26:05.340 But you can't do both.

00:26:07.520 You can't have it be your baby exclusively and also impact the type of people that you want to impact.

00:26:13.780 So pick one.

00:26:15.100 Are you more interested in being right?

00:26:17.300 Are you more interested in being propped up?

00:26:19.100 Are you more interested in everybody giving you the recognition and the acknowledgement for what you're doing?

00:26:24.440 Or, as in Dustin's case, are you more interested in propping up those around you?

00:26:29.520 We already know the answer to that because you're asking this question.

00:26:32.400 So now, you know it's an ego thing.

00:26:34.200 Now, let's break this down even further.

00:26:36.620 Number one, realize that somebody might actually be able to do it better than you.

00:26:43.100 It's not.

00:26:43.960 So I used to think that because we hear these things.

00:26:46.680 If you want it done, you're right.

00:26:48.180 You have to do it yourself.

00:26:49.380 You know what?

00:26:50.500 I cannot run an event nearly as effectively as Chris Gashko.

00:26:54.780 And I have no problem saying that because that doesn't damage my authority or credibility or influence.

00:27:01.780 In fact, it enhances it because when people come out here to our events and they go through this well-run organized experience, that makes me look better.

00:27:13.120 So by having the right person in the right place, he propped up all these other individuals and in the meantime, propped me up even higher because of the experience people are having.

00:27:24.260 We have to get past this idea that if you want it done right, you have to do it yourself.

00:27:28.860 No, if you want it done right, you have to put the right person in the right place to do it.

00:27:33.040 And that might be you and it might not be you.

00:27:35.960 And if it's not you, get the hell out of the way so somebody can do it.

00:27:41.060 And trust me, it does not undermine anything you're doing.

00:27:45.400 It only enhances it.

00:27:47.840 So that's number one is to, again, find people who can do it better than you.

00:27:56.520 Number two, take pride in the fact that even if, let's say Kip, let's just take you as an example.

00:28:02.460 And this is not necessarily true, but we'll use this as an example.

00:28:04.640 Well, no, here is a great example.

00:28:07.620 That is true.

00:28:08.460 When you started podcasting, you would probably admit to me that it was rougher than it is now.

00:28:13.640 Is that accurate?

00:28:15.540 Yeah, totally.

00:28:16.780 I take pride in not only knowing that my efforts are leveraged by having you here, but I actually take pride when I hear you on the podcast and I hear the improvement in your voice.

00:28:29.320 So not only are we serving the men of order of man, I've also served you.

00:28:34.640 I've made you a more effective communicator in a way.

00:28:38.920 And I've given you the platform and the resources and maybe even some of the stumbling blocks in order to do that.

00:28:46.560 And to me, I take great pride every time I hear you answer a question or host this podcast or lead when I'm unable to and see how it goes and see how you interact with the guys.

00:28:58.240 Or even when we're at jujitsu camp last week and guys are coming up to you and talking directly to you about your contribution on the podcast.

00:29:08.080 That doesn't take anything away from me.

00:29:10.300 This is not a zero sum game.

00:29:11.760 I see that and I saw it multiple times over lunch and on the mats and I was excited for you about that because I care about you.

00:29:22.080 I want you to win.

00:29:23.180 I want you to thrive and I want other people to thrive as well.

00:29:25.900 So I've reframed that from, oh, he's taking away something from me to, no, I'm giving him this gift to be able to improve himself in some capacity.

00:29:35.920 And I look at the same thing with Chris.

00:29:38.700 Chris might tell you that he, maybe he feels like he wouldn't be able to market an event as well as I can, but he knows he can run it.

00:29:46.280 Well, I know I can market it, so I'm going to give Chris the gift of doing what he loves and what he enjoys and what he finds value in and what he's good at by doing the thing that I'm good at so he can focus on the thing that he's good at.

00:30:00.460 It's just more giving of yourself.

00:30:02.660 And in fact, that's the fourth quadrant of what we talk a whole lot about, which is contribution, becoming a man of value.

00:30:10.920 Delegating authority is actually giving.

00:30:14.400 It's giving.

00:30:15.120 It's being more valuable because you're giving other people things to do where they can improve and they can expand and they can grow.

00:30:22.600 And you know what?

00:30:23.120 Maybe it's not going to turn out perfect.

00:30:25.640 Maybe it isn't going to be as good as it could be if you did it, but you're not always going to be around and you have other things you want to focus on anyways.

00:30:33.720 And I told the guys at the order of man main event, I said, I don't think I could stop this thing if I wanted to.

00:30:39.620 Like if I died today or if I just said, you know what?

00:30:43.760 I'm done.

00:30:44.220 And I threw in the towel.

00:30:45.160 I have no doubt that somebody or a group of somebodies would step up and continue the order of man movement.

00:30:54.920 And I take pride in that knowing that I have enabled and equipped the men to be able to do that in my absence.

00:31:02.600 I feel the same way about the Iron Council.

00:31:05.020 Man, it feels good to know that I can leave for a week.

00:31:09.280 And granted, I was still plugged in a little bit, but leave for a week and feel 100% confident that even if I didn't show up at all, that when I got back, the whole thing wouldn't be burned to the ground.

00:31:22.440 In fact, it would be edified and uplifted and it always is, but get over yourself and realize that there's other people who can A, do it better than you and B, if they can't, they need to learn how to do it better than you.

00:31:36.280 So you can step back and engage in something else, maybe something that you're more inclined to pursue.

00:31:40.800 A little bit of a soapbox there, but these, look, the only reason I'm sharing that is these are lessons that I have learned and personally struggled with because I actually really, how do I say, like I'm really driven and motivated by recognition and acknowledgement.

00:32:01.980 And that's not right or wrong, by the way, because I know there's a lot of guys listening who are, and some guys aren't.

00:32:06.480 I happen to be.

00:32:07.340 So when somebody, even if it's my wife's comes to me and says, Hey, you know, you did a really good job on that thing.

00:32:11.940 I like that.

00:32:12.760 That feels good to me.

00:32:14.140 Like that, that that's reaffirming for me.

00:32:16.900 So when I get a message from somebody who listens to the podcast and they say, Hey man, I love the podcast and love what you're doing.

00:32:23.520 And like, that feels good.

00:32:25.420 And I want to keep doing it.

00:32:27.400 So I'd really had to learn to get out of my way in order to let other people step up into places.

00:32:32.660 And, you know, maybe somebody comes and gives you some, some recognition that doesn't take away from me.

00:32:39.540 In fact, I feel like I'm part of that actually, because we created this and created an environment where you could step up and serve in this capacity.

00:32:48.220 So it's a lot of learning for me as well.

00:32:50.980 Yeah.

00:32:51.180 And I could see, I mean, and that's why I brought it up.

00:32:53.340 Cause I think that's, that's a default behavior for a lot of guys, right?

00:32:57.060 Is when we create opportunities for other people, sometimes when we see them succeed or progress, or we may not want to create the opportunity because we're afraid that takes away from us.

00:33:07.040 So, um, that was great.

00:33:08.860 Actually.

00:33:09.160 Thanks.

00:33:09.740 Thanks for sharing that.

00:33:10.780 Actually.

00:33:11.020 What?

00:33:11.240 Like you didn't think it'd be great or what?

00:33:12.920 No, no.

00:33:13.640 I'm just kidding.

00:33:14.060 I wasn't sure.

00:33:14.860 I'm just kidding.

00:33:15.300 I'm just kidding.

00:33:15.320 What you guys don't see here is I'm actually texting, uh,

00:33:19.880 Ryan and sending texts of what he should say next.

00:33:22.700 I'm like, Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:33:23.520 Say that.

00:33:23.840 That's good.

00:33:24.420 That.

00:33:24.700 And you're telling me, good job, Ryan.

00:33:26.420 Good job.

00:33:26.860 You're doing a good job.

00:33:27.660 Keep going.

00:33:28.300 Good job, man.

00:33:29.140 Yeah.

00:33:29.380 Keep it up.

00:33:30.980 All right.

00:33:31.560 Ben DeVita.

00:33:32.640 How can we stop parents from forgetting their children in the car?

00:33:36.060 25 deaths this year already.

00:33:38.440 It's getting out of hand.

00:33:40.760 So I don't know if that's 25 deaths across the U S or like,

00:33:43.480 yeah,

00:33:43.680 which he lives or what,

00:33:45.460 but it's too high,

00:33:46.640 whatever it is.

00:33:47.300 Uh,

00:33:47.540 you know,

00:33:47.820 I actually,

00:33:49.200 I actually,

00:33:49.880 know of somebody who left their child in the car and their child died.

00:33:56.120 Really?

00:33:56.900 How old?

00:33:58.400 Uh,

00:33:59.320 three or four.

00:34:01.880 Oh,

00:34:03.300 maybe,

00:34:03.720 maybe actually,

00:34:04.260 no,

00:34:04.420 I'm sorry.

00:34:05.000 Younger,

00:34:05.840 maybe like one or two.

00:34:08.740 That's little.

00:34:11.620 And I used to think I'm like,

00:34:14.000 man,

00:34:14.480 who would do that?

00:34:15.540 Like a horrible human being.

00:34:16.980 What a moron.

00:34:18.180 No,

00:34:18.540 man.

00:34:19.200 I mean,

00:34:19.760 yes,

00:34:20.460 sometimes,

00:34:21.020 but based on this experience,

00:34:24.000 no,

00:34:24.820 no,

00:34:25.440 that's not the case at all.

00:34:27.280 I think that could happen to anybody.

00:34:29.680 Yep.

00:34:30.440 Uh,

00:34:31.240 I mean,

00:34:32.460 how do we,

00:34:33.340 how do we do this?

00:34:34.100 I just think maybe you make it a,

00:34:36.500 make it a standard practice,

00:34:38.700 I guess you'd say.

00:34:39.540 I mean,

00:34:39.800 when you get in the car,

00:34:40.580 you have a list of standard operating procedures or checklists,

00:34:44.040 right?

00:34:44.240 Same thing.

00:34:44.720 I think of like a pilot and his flight plan.

00:34:47.960 Like a,

00:34:48.760 does a pilot really need to go through his entire checklist?

00:34:51.700 He's probably done it 2 billion times.

00:34:53.420 Does he really need to go through that again?

00:34:55.520 Yes.

00:34:56.480 The answer is yes.

00:34:57.460 He needs to go through it.

00:34:58.700 So he hits everything.

00:34:59.660 I actually do the same thing with podcasts is I have a workflow and I go through it every single time.

00:35:06.360 And guess what?

00:35:07.380 Anytime there's a little mess up and there happened to be a mess up yesterday on the pod,

00:35:11.160 the Jocko podcast we talked about that a second ago,

00:35:13.160 it's because we missed a step or we didn't follow the flow or the plan.

00:35:18.340 So,

00:35:18.780 I mean,

00:35:20.720 I don't know if you,

00:35:21.940 if you incorporate that into driver's ed,

00:35:24.920 uh,

00:35:25.420 into your training,

00:35:26.520 um,

00:35:27.180 but maybe just checking.

00:35:29.140 I mean,

00:35:29.380 you should be doing that anyways.

00:35:30.420 Like when I get in the car,

00:35:31.860 I,

00:35:32.040 I check the seats,

00:35:33.540 right?

00:35:33.760 Like I,

00:35:34.560 I check behind me,

00:35:35.660 I check around the vehicle because I want to be aware of what the hell's happening around me.

00:35:40.760 When I get out of the car,

00:35:42.000 I clean up my trash.

00:35:43.420 I empty the car out every time.

00:35:45.020 So if you ever get in my car and it's dirty,

00:35:46.500 that's weird.

00:35:47.640 That would be an anomaly because I clean it out every single time I get out of the car because

00:35:51.120 I want it to be clean and orderly.

00:35:52.960 And that's just kind of what you do when you're done with a place,

00:35:55.660 you clean it up.

00:35:57.380 Uh,

00:35:57.780 and then you check your surroundings.

00:35:59.500 So I don't know how to affect that culturally,

00:36:02.500 but those are strategies that I think all of us would do well to,

00:36:06.140 to incorporate.

00:36:07.940 Yeah.

00:36:08.580 I mean,

00:36:09.040 one thing's for sure.

00:36:09.860 And you alluded to this is those 25 deaths,

00:36:13.240 right?

00:36:13.560 That,

00:36:14.000 that Ben's mentioning.

00:36:15.860 Um,

00:36:17.680 it,

00:36:18.040 I like to pull out that the fact that those people are paying the price.

00:36:23.300 Oh,

00:36:23.380 no doubt.

00:36:24.380 Forever.

00:36:24.860 You know what I'm saying?

00:36:25.560 Forever.

00:36:26.080 Yeah.

00:36:26.140 Forever.

00:36:26.800 I mean,

00:36:27.120 I couldn't even imagine as a parent,

00:36:28.880 um,

00:36:30.280 having to go through that,

00:36:31.300 that,

00:36:31.620 that is hoarded and,

00:36:33.160 and super bad.

00:36:34.040 So one,

00:36:34.960 there's a little bit of me is like,

00:36:36.160 man,

00:36:36.480 be slow to judge.

00:36:37.340 Right.

00:36:38.160 Um,

00:36:38.480 the other thing though,

00:36:40.100 is I think what's at the root of this is not being present.

00:36:43.620 Right.

00:36:44.100 It's,

00:36:44.760 it's,

00:36:45.100 we're in our car and we're scrambling and we're making a phone call and,

00:36:48.720 Oh,

00:36:48.880 we're getting the parking lot.

00:36:49.860 We're texting and our minds are all over the place.

00:36:52.800 And I wonder how much of,

00:36:55.080 of these would be reduced if we're actually just present.

00:36:59.000 Yeah.

00:36:59.540 To the fact that like,

00:37:01.000 I'm with my kids right now and that's important,

00:37:03.280 you know?

00:37:04.360 And even though we're going to the grocery store,

00:37:06.020 it's like,

00:37:06.460 we're not trying to juggle too many things at the same time.

00:37:09.280 I think this is a result of probably,

00:37:12.080 and I have no evidence of this whatsoever.

00:37:15.800 If this is legit,

00:37:16.560 but if I had to guess a little bit of this is information overload.

00:37:20.580 Yeah.

00:37:21.020 Of just too much going on too much data being thrown at us and we're trying to

00:37:25.720 balance things too much.

00:37:27.380 Yeah.

00:37:27.880 You,

00:37:28.220 well,

00:37:28.380 you talked about it.

00:37:29.380 Uh,

00:37:30.100 you talked about it last week of,

00:37:31.660 of how you just,

00:37:32.920 you know,

00:37:33.120 you shut your phone off,

00:37:34.180 you close the door and you spent time with your kids,

00:37:36.420 right?

00:37:36.700 Like you,

00:37:37.400 it's,

00:37:38.180 yeah,

00:37:38.840 yeah,

00:37:40.260 I agree.

00:37:40.900 I think that presence,

00:37:41.800 I think the overload,

00:37:42.980 I think the,

00:37:43.640 uh,

00:37:44.000 the,

00:37:44.720 like you said,

00:37:45.460 the information overload and everything that we have going on is just,

00:37:48.240 uh,

00:37:48.560 man,

00:37:48.920 it's,

00:37:49.220 it's a lot.

00:37:49.700 And so we need to scale back a little bit and be fully present.

00:37:52.580 Yeah.

00:37:53.340 Ooh,

00:37:53.700 tough.

00:37:54.340 All right.

00:37:54.780 Andrew Trotter.

00:37:56.080 What advice do you have for getting defensive when you're wrong or appearing incapable or

00:38:02.560 unknowledgeable?

00:38:03.340 Well,

00:38:05.780 if you're wrong,

00:38:06.700 then just say I'm wrong.

00:38:10.840 It's okay.

00:38:12.220 Yeah.

00:38:12.620 I don't understand.

00:38:13.420 Like,

00:38:13.640 it's okay to be wrong.

00:38:15.060 I,

00:38:15.300 I,

00:38:15.460 I understand it doesn't feel good,

00:38:16.980 but,

00:38:18.280 but ignorance isn't going to serve anybody.

00:38:21.040 So you just like going to beat your chest and tell everybody how right you are,

00:38:24.980 even though deep down inside,

00:38:25.960 you know,

00:38:26.120 you're wrong that that seems crazy to me.

00:38:28.120 And they all know you're wrong too,

00:38:29.560 by the way.

00:38:30.400 Yeah.

00:38:30.880 Yeah.

00:38:31.240 And then when you try to hide it,

00:38:32.820 you actually undermine what little credibility had left.

00:38:36.380 Yeah.

00:38:36.840 Instead of just saying,

00:38:37.700 Oh,

00:38:37.840 you know what,

00:38:38.360 man?

00:38:40.360 Yeah.

00:38:40.980 Yeah.

00:38:41.300 I was wrong.

00:38:42.000 And here's what I was wrong about.

00:38:43.500 And here's what I'm going to do to fix it.

00:38:44.920 And then you actually do it.

00:38:47.220 Well,

00:38:47.720 look,

00:38:48.040 flip the script a little bit.

00:38:49.820 Who,

00:38:50.100 who is this?

00:38:51.720 Uh,

00:38:52.120 Andrew Trotter.

00:38:52.940 So let's,

00:38:53.520 let's assume for example,

00:38:54.420 that Andrew has some,

00:38:56.000 a coworker or a subordinate or an employee or somebody he's working with.

00:39:00.060 And the subordinate or we'll just call him the employee,

00:39:04.580 the employee,

00:39:05.200 uh,

00:39:06.620 does something at work and ends up screwing something up.

00:39:11.920 And Andrew knows that that employee screwed something up.

00:39:15.640 And he goes to the employee and he says,

00:39:17.460 Hey,

00:39:17.640 you know,

00:39:17.880 you really messed this up.

00:39:18.900 Here's what happened.

00:39:19.560 And here's,

00:39:20.140 here's the ramifications of that.

00:39:21.620 And the employee says,

00:39:23.160 Oh,

00:39:23.580 well,

00:39:24.100 it was only because the other department didn't get their thing to me on

00:39:27.220 time.

00:39:27.500 And only because the customer didn't tell me exactly what they wanted.

00:39:30.640 And he had false expectations or realistic expectations of what we

00:39:34.220 could do.

00:39:34.660 And,

00:39:34.920 and,

00:39:35.420 and then the technology went out and then our internet didn't work.

00:39:37.840 And in the community where we live,

00:39:39.980 like we can't hire good people.

00:39:41.140 And he came up with this laundry list of items as to why he was justified in

00:39:46.200 what he did.

00:39:47.920 Andrew,

00:39:48.400 how much are you going to think of that individual?

00:39:50.000 Is that an individual that you want to continue to keep on your team?

00:39:55.160 Of course not.

00:39:56.320 Now,

00:39:56.760 what if the same scenario happened and you went to your employee and you said,

00:40:01.280 Hey,

00:40:01.380 here's what happened.

00:40:02.120 Here was the ramifications.

00:40:02.960 He says,

00:40:03.480 you know what,

00:40:03.840 boss?

00:40:04.920 Totally right.

00:40:05.980 In fact,

00:40:06.500 what if you didn't even have to go to him?

00:40:08.200 He actually came to you beforehand and he said,

00:40:10.600 Hey boss,

00:40:11.180 like here's what happened.

00:40:12.480 I screwed up right here.

00:40:13.840 And I know exactly where in the system I broke down and man,

00:40:17.600 it cost us this much money or this much time.

00:40:20.000 And here are the list of things that I've done to remedy this situation so that in

00:40:24.540 the future,

00:40:25.000 if we run against this,

00:40:26.120 it won't be a problem.

00:40:27.080 We'll address it early and we won't have to deal with it the way we do now.

00:40:30.140 And I'm really sorry that I was wrong.

00:40:32.840 And,

00:40:33.280 uh,

00:40:33.540 and,

00:40:33.880 and I fixed it.

00:40:34.700 I mean,

00:40:38.760 what a breath of fresh air and,

00:40:42.520 and what a,

00:40:44.080 what an awesome employee that you found.

00:40:46.180 And now this is somebody who you could actually groom to be a bigger part of the organization.

00:40:50.300 Cause this is somebody who takes initiative.

00:40:52.180 Now,

00:40:52.740 Andrew,

00:40:53.740 imagine you're the employee.

00:40:55.320 which employee should you be?

00:41:00.700 Should you be the one who blames everything on anybody else and says they have nothing to do with it and defends their fragile ego?

00:41:08.320 Or should you be the ego or excuse me,

00:41:11.740 the employee who takes ultimate responsibility for his actions,

00:41:16.860 doesn't make any excuses or justification,

00:41:21.740 justifications or blame it on somebody else.

00:41:23.980 And then actually comes up with a plan to fix it.

00:41:27.860 There's your answer.

00:41:28.980 What kind of employee do you want to be?

00:41:30.520 What kind of husband do you want to be?

00:41:31.980 Kind of brother,

00:41:32.740 friend,

00:41:33.240 colleague,

00:41:33.700 coworker,

00:41:34.280 neighbor,

00:41:35.240 politician,

00:41:35.880 leader.

00:41:36.740 What kind do you want to be?

00:41:39.040 What kind do you want to be around?

00:41:41.280 Be that individual.

00:41:43.000 And for you guys that are in a management position,

00:41:45.160 you're like,

00:41:45.620 Oh,

00:41:45.740 I can't relate.

00:41:46.820 The answer is exactly the same.

00:41:49.640 Exactly.

00:41:50.000 Just because you're in a management position,

00:41:52.020 the,

00:41:52.380 the,

00:41:52.800 the,

00:41:53.160 the advice here does not change at all.

00:41:57.080 Right.

00:41:57.580 Because that's what a leader does.

00:41:58.820 And you,

00:41:59.320 you alluded to that,

00:42:00.060 right?

00:42:00.260 This worker takes initiative and has extreme ownership,

00:42:02.940 right?

00:42:03.380 As Jocko would call it their leader leadership material.

00:42:06.800 If you're in a management leadership position and you're not taking extreme

00:42:10.580 ownership,

00:42:10.920 then you're not leadership material either.

00:42:14.160 And by the way,

00:42:15.460 I'm going to get on a soapbox.

00:42:16.900 Anybody in a management position that's never read extreme ownership,

00:42:20.180 but you're using that phrase like,

00:42:21.780 Oh,

00:42:21.920 extreme ownership or you should take it.

00:42:24.580 Read the damn book before you just use those two words and assume that you

00:42:30.380 know what it means.

00:42:31.840 Cause that's,

00:42:32.580 that's driving me mad.

00:42:34.700 Well,

00:42:35.220 and all right,

00:42:35.640 or,

00:42:36.080 or here's the one that gets to me as somebody who says,

00:42:38.720 Oh,

00:42:38.840 you got to take extreme ownership.

00:42:40.440 Like easy for you to say,

00:42:43.280 you have to do it.

00:42:44.100 You do it.

00:42:45.240 Yeah.

00:42:45.780 Everyone does.

00:42:46.520 I do it on their own.

00:42:47.480 We have to do it individually.

00:42:49.720 Exactly.

00:42:50.500 Exactly.

00:42:50.980 It's not an excuse to point fingers and say,

00:42:52.940 Oh,

00:42:53.040 the reason that we're failing is because you're not taking extreme ownership.

00:42:56.960 Exactly.

00:42:58.940 Exactly.

00:42:59.500 That's what I was kind of trying to allude to.

00:43:01.140 You know,

00:43:01.600 one thing that Tom Billy,

00:43:02.980 you've had him on,

00:43:04.020 on the podcast in the past.

00:43:05.600 He's the,

00:43:06.240 um,

00:43:06.780 he,

00:43:07.080 he has a podcast,

00:43:07.980 but he's also the,

00:43:09.020 was he the founder of quest nutrition?

00:43:11.100 I believe.

00:43:11.480 Yes.

00:43:11.860 Yes.

00:43:12.560 Um,

00:43:13.080 one thing that he said in the past,

00:43:15.100 and I don't know if this was actually on a previous episode on the order of man podcast,

00:43:19.080 but I really,

00:43:20.500 it really resonated with me.

00:43:22.020 And he said that he changed how he perceives himself as not a person that is always right,

00:43:28.320 but a person that can always find the right answer.

00:43:31.760 Hmm.

00:43:32.620 And I really liked that because it's still very empowering.

00:43:35.760 Yeah.

00:43:36.180 You know what?

00:43:37.060 I don't know the answer or guess what?

00:43:39.080 I was wrong,

00:43:39.740 but I'm going to make it right,

00:43:41.940 or I'm going to find the right answer,

00:43:43.540 or I'm going to adjust.

00:43:44.840 So I am correct.

00:43:46.200 Yeah.

00:43:46.660 I really,

00:43:47.600 really like that because it puts you in a position of not all knowing,

00:43:51.320 but it puts you in a position of being capable of knowing.

00:43:55.740 And,

00:43:56.260 and it's really,

00:43:57.040 I don't know.

00:43:57.380 I really resonated with me and I,

00:43:59.340 and I liked that concept.

00:44:00.520 Yeah.

00:44:01.000 I actually think that it's alluded to our previous conversation just before this one about,

00:44:05.600 you know,

00:44:06.000 finding the right people and in it,

00:44:07.800 not undermining your authority when you,

00:44:09.900 when you find somebody who might be able to do it better than you can.

00:44:13.320 So I think it's all kind of tying together.

00:44:15.580 Yeah.

00:44:16.140 Yeah.

00:44:16.780 All right.

00:44:17.520 Chris Mills,

00:44:18.400 how do you manage to stay humble?

00:44:20.860 If success is something that you've been accomplishing a lot this past year,

00:44:24.300 this is a really good question.

00:44:25.600 I've been wondering this for you personally,

00:44:28.000 Ryan,

00:44:28.300 how do you,

00:44:28.800 how do you stay humble?

00:44:29.600 Are you saying like,

00:44:30.980 I need to,

00:44:31.760 or,

00:44:32.300 um,

00:44:34.240 how do you stay humble?

00:44:36.120 Well,

00:44:36.340 I first,

00:44:36.880 let me say this.

00:44:37.400 I think it's okay to be proud of what you've done.

00:44:39.640 Like if,

00:44:40.180 if this,

00:44:40.740 who is it,

00:44:41.120 what's his name?

00:44:42.180 Uh,

00:44:42.440 Chris Mills,

00:44:43.040 Chris,

00:44:43.440 like,

00:44:43.900 okay.

00:44:44.180 So you've done some amazing things that you've been working towards,

00:44:47.120 man,

00:44:47.880 celebrate that.

00:44:48.540 Be excited about that.

00:44:50.420 There's nothing wrong with that.

00:44:51.700 In fact,

00:44:52.020 that's not at odds with humility.

00:44:53.620 So just be aware of that.

00:44:55.200 They're not on these opposite ends of the spectrum competing with each other,

00:44:58.300 a sense of satisfaction and pride.

00:45:00.420 And in your accomplishments is not at odds with you being humble.

00:45:05.420 Um,

00:45:05.960 humility is just a grounded sense of reality.

00:45:10.280 That's all it is.

00:45:11.800 It's just a grounded sense of reality.

00:45:14.580 And you can be proud of what you did and be humble,

00:45:17.940 even in your pride.

00:45:20.220 Hey,

00:45:20.740 you know what?

00:45:21.440 We accomplished this thing and man,

00:45:24.160 I'm so proud because I did these things.

00:45:26.500 Um,

00:45:26.780 now here's where the,

00:45:28.080 uh,

00:45:28.300 the grounded in reality thing comes into play.

00:45:30.560 You didn't do it by yourself.

00:45:33.000 Yeah.

00:45:33.560 So be aware of that.

00:45:34.880 So in,

00:45:35.700 in,

00:45:36.060 in the midst of your celebration,

00:45:37.340 who are you celebrating with?

00:45:38.780 I see these football players,

00:45:40.180 these running backs,

00:45:41.340 you know,

00:45:41.600 they break one free for 90 yards and they celebrate and they do their stupid

00:45:44.820 dances in the end zone.

00:45:45.840 And I'm like,

00:45:46.240 dude,

00:45:46.480 just run back to your lineman and go give them a hug and a slap on the ass

00:45:50.120 and tell them thanks for what you just created.

00:45:52.320 Like,

00:45:52.700 why are you celebrating?

00:45:54.960 And why are you?

00:45:55.940 Okay.

00:45:56.460 Celebrate is fine.

00:45:57.540 But why are you celebrating alone?

00:45:59.900 Shame on you.

00:46:01.300 Go back and congratulate the men who made that happen.

00:46:04.980 And it's no different in a corporate environment or a family environment or any

00:46:09.920 environment that you may find yourself in grounded in a sense of reality that you

00:46:14.540 didn't create it by yourself and giving acknowledgement to those other

00:46:17.920 individuals.

00:46:18.520 But in addition to that,

00:46:20.540 looking at the after action review and asking yourself,

00:46:23.960 okay,

00:46:24.160 I accomplished this great thing that I've been after.

00:46:26.700 What could I have done better?

00:46:28.440 Man,

00:46:28.720 talk about a humbling question.

00:46:31.480 Even in victory,

00:46:32.880 what could I have done better?

00:46:34.720 What will I do better next time?

00:46:36.780 How will I improve moving forward?

00:46:38.560 These are all humility driven questions because you're constantly seeking new ways to improve

00:46:44.420 and get better and realize that you are not and never will be at the pinnacle of your game.

00:46:48.840 If you think you are,

00:46:50.260 you have a humility problem.

00:46:52.620 If you think you're the best that ever was or the best you're ever going to be,

00:46:55.980 that's a humility problem.

00:46:57.140 And you better learn to do the after action review so you can check the ego and get better moving forward.

00:47:06.120 Love it,

00:47:06.820 man.

00:47:07.300 That's good stuff.

00:47:08.960 Wayne Squire,

00:47:09.960 the second I've been thinking about a career change and I'm going to be 32 this year.

00:47:15.560 Do you think that is too old to start a new career with a two to four year degree?

00:47:20.320 Yeah.

00:47:21.760 Give up,

00:47:22.500 man.

00:47:22.740 Yeah,

00:47:23.020 it's over.

00:47:23.760 You're like,

00:47:24.220 Wayne,

00:47:24.580 you only have stuck where you're at,

00:47:26.040 bro.

00:47:26.140 You only have 50 years.

00:47:28.200 So like,

00:47:29.160 sorry,

00:47:29.980 like you're on the downhill side of things.

00:47:31.420 Look,

00:47:31.860 I know.

00:47:32.340 And if you were thinking about doing jujitsu,

00:47:34.380 don't do it.

00:47:35.040 Don't do it.

00:47:35.360 You're too old.

00:47:35.780 Yeah.

00:47:36.160 And if you're wanting to work out,

00:47:37.940 don't work out,

00:47:38.620 bro.

00:47:38.900 You're 32.

00:47:39.720 It's over already.

00:47:42.020 Look,

00:47:42.500 man.

00:47:42.940 Sorry,

00:47:43.180 Wayne.

00:47:43.700 No,

00:47:44.080 we're not sorry.

00:47:45.000 Like,

00:47:45.580 I know we're giving you a hard time,

00:47:47.880 but I'm not sorry about that.

00:47:49.040 Come on,

00:47:49.380 man.

00:47:49.560 You're 32.

00:47:50.280 You're young.

00:47:51.400 You're a young buck,

00:47:52.480 dude.

00:47:53.040 Like if you,

00:47:53.920 if you think that's too old,

00:47:55.680 like,

00:47:55.980 I don't know what else to tell you.

00:47:57.760 I mean,

00:47:58.260 are you fighting an uphill battle?

00:47:59.740 Maybe,

00:48:00.260 you know,

00:48:00.600 maybe somebody started 10 years ago and they're that much further down the track.

00:48:04.500 So what?

00:48:04.880 You've got wisdom.

00:48:06.400 That's what I,

00:48:07.140 I'm just going back to jujitsu again is like,

00:48:09.000 I see these 25 year olds and these 32 year olds who started jujitsu five,

00:48:13.480 10 years ago.

00:48:14.040 And I think,

00:48:14.420 man,

00:48:14.540 they have such a huge advantage.

00:48:16.080 Yeah,

00:48:16.480 they do.

00:48:16.860 But I also have some life lessons too,

00:48:18.640 that I can draw upon toughness,

00:48:21.420 resilience,

00:48:22.220 strength,

00:48:22.720 grittiness,

00:48:23.800 wisdom.

00:48:25.060 That gives me an advantage that maybe these guys don't have.

00:48:27.460 Is it enough?

00:48:27.980 Probably not,

00:48:28.540 but I can get there.

00:48:30.820 And also I have experience to draw upon that.

00:48:33.020 I know that when I put my mind to something and I'm dedicated to it and I have that level of

00:48:37.720 consistency towards it that I'm going to achieve and I'm going to succeed.

00:48:41.080 I want you for a second to imagine the alternative to your question right now is if we actually

00:48:46.740 said,

00:48:47.120 yes,

00:48:47.320 you are too old.

00:48:48.240 I mean,

00:48:48.660 the alternative to you saying I'm too,

00:48:50.700 or I'm,

00:48:51.400 I'm going to do this is doing nothing.

00:48:55.120 Right?

00:48:55.560 So you resign.

00:48:56.300 You say,

00:48:56.580 well,

00:48:56.740 I'm 32.

00:48:58.780 I'm just too,

00:48:59.600 I'm just too old.

00:49:00.280 I can't do this.

00:49:00.860 So you do nothing.

00:49:01.620 And when you're 42 or 52 years old,

00:49:04.980 you look back on your life and you say,

00:49:07.100 man,

00:49:07.580 I really should have done that now,

00:49:09.360 but I can't do it now.

00:49:10.500 Now I'm too old.

00:49:11.340 So you say the same thing,

00:49:12.520 except for you're 20 years older.

00:49:14.360 I had this guy several years ago.

00:49:16.080 I was ordering some fencing for our house in Southern Utah and,

00:49:21.180 and a gentleman came over,

00:49:22.280 pleasant guy,

00:49:23.060 probably middle-aged.

00:49:24.800 I'd say somewhere between,

00:49:26.780 I would guess 45 to 55 years old.

00:49:28.980 And he comes over and he drops the fencing off and we got talking and he says,

00:49:33.780 what is it that you do?

00:49:34.500 And I told him a little bit about the podcast and he said,

00:49:36.580 oh man,

00:49:37.140 that is really,

00:49:38.100 really cool.

00:49:39.000 I actually wanted to start something similar to that about 10 years ago,

00:49:42.180 where I'd teach about leadership strategies and I was going to do a blog.

00:49:45.800 He was talking to me about things he wanted to do.

00:49:47.400 And I said,

00:49:47.840 why didn't you do it?

00:49:49.860 And he's like,

00:49:50.360 oh man,

00:49:52.040 I,

00:49:52.360 you know,

00:49:52.520 we just had kids and like my wife was trying to get her career launched and I,

00:49:56.920 you know,

00:49:57.040 I was busy with work and he had all these reasons why he couldn't do it.

00:50:00.400 And I said,

00:50:00.700 oh yeah,

00:50:01.240 I get that man.

00:50:01.920 Life's busy.

00:50:02.760 Why don't you do it now?

00:50:04.660 And he's like,

00:50:05.340 oh man,

00:50:06.460 my wife,

00:50:07.020 she's just finishing up school and the kids are about to graduate.

00:50:10.100 And you know,

00:50:10.980 we're planning on going on a vacation and I've got to put in my hours and I don't have any

00:50:15.400 vacation.

00:50:15.940 And so like,

00:50:17.320 it's just the time he's not bad.

00:50:19.860 I'm like,

00:50:20.420 okay,

00:50:20.740 you know,

00:50:21.060 like I'm not going to try to convince this guy that he should chase his dreams.

00:50:24.240 That's up to him.

00:50:25.380 But in my mind,

00:50:26.400 I was thinking,

00:50:27.300 man,

00:50:27.540 in 10 years,

00:50:28.180 if I have to order some new fencing,

00:50:30.820 I can see this guy pulling up at 62 years old,

00:50:34.220 doing the same damn thing,

00:50:36.700 delivering the same damn fencing,

00:50:38.780 talking to the same people,

00:50:41.560 dropping the fencing off and asking me about my work.

00:50:44.660 And I'm telling him what I'm doing.

00:50:45.480 And he's like,

00:50:45.900 oh man,

00:50:46.260 I was going to do something like that 20 years ago.

00:50:49.300 Why don't you do it now?

00:50:50.640 Oh man,

00:50:51.420 I'm on the edge of retirement.

00:50:53.180 If I just stay with a company for five more years,

00:50:55.200 then I can get my retirement and like social security is going to kick in.

00:50:58.680 And you know,

00:50:59.280 my,

00:50:59.860 my,

00:51:00.400 my,

00:51:01.020 I'm not as sharp as I once was.

00:51:02.680 My knees are hurting a little bit.

00:51:03.920 My wife,

00:51:04.780 you know,

00:51:05.140 she's,

00:51:05.440 she's kind of distant or we went through a divorce.

00:51:07.120 It's like,

00:51:07.860 when's the perfect time,

00:51:10.260 man?

00:51:11.880 When is the perfect time?

00:51:13.100 If you started at 10 years ago,

00:51:14.400 you'd be saying the same thing.

00:51:15.460 I wish I started it when I was 16.

00:51:17.040 Okay.

00:51:17.820 Well,

00:51:18.740 16 is long gone.

00:51:21.680 32.

00:51:22.220 Isn't get your ass moving and then let us know how it goes.

00:51:27.220 I think at the root of this,

00:51:29.100 Ryan is so many guys don't let go of the fact that they should have done it when they're 16.

00:51:35.580 Yes.

00:51:35.840 They're living in the past.

00:51:37.400 Yeah.

00:51:37.640 They're,

00:51:37.920 they're not there.

00:51:39.420 There is a major disconnect of reality.

00:51:41.780 Guess what,

00:51:42.120 Wayne?

00:51:42.460 Guess you should have started a while ago.

00:51:44.420 Sure.

00:51:45.180 That's true.

00:51:45.980 Maybe,

00:51:46.860 but guess what?

00:51:47.620 It's over.

00:51:48.160 It's done.

00:51:48.780 You can do about it.

00:51:49.500 Let go of the expectation of you,

00:51:51.480 quote unquote,

00:51:51.940 dropping the ball and act on right now.

00:51:55.260 Stop,

00:51:55.940 stop focusing on what should have been.

00:51:58.880 That provides no value whatsoever.

00:52:01.460 As long as you're willing to act in the present.

00:52:04.000 And we do this all the time.

00:52:05.720 So many people,

00:52:06.360 they'll make everything wrong.

00:52:07.640 Oh,

00:52:08.600 man,

00:52:09.180 marriages.

00:52:09.720 Well,

00:52:09.900 guess what?

00:52:10.560 All right.

00:52:11.260 Sure.

00:52:11.700 You got yourself in particular.

00:52:12.880 Now,

00:52:13.240 what are you going to do?

00:52:14.540 Exactly.

00:52:14.940 What are you going to do about it right now?

00:52:18.020 That's exactly right,

00:52:19.020 man.

00:52:19.980 And you should start training.

00:52:21.260 Jiu Jitsu to Wayne or you're at it.

00:52:25.760 That's a,

00:52:26.320 that's a given.

00:52:27.100 That's a no brainer.

00:52:28.740 All right.

00:52:29.500 Everybody should do Jiu Jitsu.

00:52:31.300 Yeah.

00:52:31.740 It's a given.

00:52:32.520 Even Jocko would agree.

00:52:34.220 Even Jocko.

00:52:36.520 And you know,

00:52:37.360 he would.

00:52:37.920 So there you go.

00:52:39.000 Yeah.

00:52:40.040 Listen to the chin.

00:52:41.960 The Jocko.

00:52:44.340 Is that his new name?

00:52:45.840 Yeah.

00:52:46.320 Well,

00:52:46.500 you say,

00:52:46.880 listen to the beard,

00:52:47.660 right?

00:52:47.800 We say that order,

00:52:48.720 man.

00:52:49.200 Jocko.

00:52:49.600 It's like,

00:52:49.840 listen to the chin.

00:52:50.840 The only reason I was telling,

00:52:52.300 uh,

00:52:52.700 I think I told this maybe to Jocko and Pete too.

00:52:54.740 As I said,

00:52:55.080 the only reason that,

00:52:56.860 uh,

00:52:57.000 I grow a beard is because I have a small little chin.

00:52:59.280 So I have to make it look bigger than it really is.

00:53:01.740 So you can compete with Jocko.

00:53:03.180 That's right.

00:53:04.340 By the way,

00:53:05.220 if you guys have not seen the video on social media of echo getting his black belt.

00:53:11.880 So it was awesome.

00:53:13.320 So awesome.

00:53:14.040 So awesome.

00:53:14.660 Yeah.

00:53:15.340 Yeah.

00:53:15.840 Did I tell you,

00:53:16.780 were you there when echo and I rolled?

00:53:19.140 No,

00:53:19.500 you got to train with echo.

00:53:20.620 So he,

00:53:21.120 so he came up to me and he's like,

00:53:23.040 Hey Ryan,

00:53:23.820 he's like,

00:53:24.500 let's,

00:53:25.200 uh,

00:53:25.460 do you have some time?

00:53:26.180 I was like,

00:53:26.380 yeah.

00:53:26.520 He's like,

00:53:26.860 let's roll a little bit.

00:53:27.740 And here's what he said.

00:53:29.080 I want to see your style.

00:53:30.480 And I'm like,

00:53:33.340 my style,

00:53:34.200 my style,

00:53:35.580 my style is like flop around for a little while and then curling a ball while I get mauled by somebody bigger and better than me for like 10 minutes.

00:53:43.120 There's some style in there.

00:53:45.440 Naturally,

00:53:45.900 you just may not see it yet.

00:53:47.160 Yeah.

00:53:47.500 Yeah.

00:53:48.000 Um,

00:53:48.560 I'm just trying to stay humble.

00:53:50.220 So,

00:53:51.060 so we roll and he's,

00:53:53.900 I,

00:53:54.100 you know,

00:53:54.320 he's,

00:53:54.580 he's not going a hundred percent,

00:53:56.500 right?

00:53:56.820 Cause that would be crazy.

00:53:58.260 That would be like you and your eight year old son playing basketball and you like dunking it in his face and like dropping him down on the ground.

00:54:05.980 Like you're just not going to do it.

00:54:07.340 Right.

00:54:07.660 And standing over him.

00:54:08.680 And just like right up in his face,

00:54:10.480 like got you,

00:54:12.460 you suck.

00:54:13.520 Yeah.

00:54:13.640 That's what it would be.

00:54:14.300 So he didn't do that.

00:54:15.600 Okay.

00:54:17.380 So I don't know if he got like tired of rolling with me or whatever,

00:54:20.800 but he,

00:54:22.400 he swept me and Echo's a big guy.

00:54:26.540 Like he's a big,

00:54:27.820 strong dude,

00:54:28.800 but it defies all logic in physics as to how he could make me hit the ground as hard as I hit the ground when he swept me.

00:54:41.600 And I hit the ground and I popped right back up and I'm just laughing.

00:54:46.020 And he's just there smiling,

00:54:47.340 chilling,

00:54:47.880 just what cruising,

00:54:48.820 just smiling.

00:54:49.780 Yeah.

00:54:50.400 And I'm like,

00:54:51.420 let's try that again.

00:54:52.340 And he tried and he goes for the same sweep.

00:54:55.180 Fortunately,

00:54:55.580 I caught myself,

00:54:56.440 but he almost got me again.

00:54:57.820 I don't know how we got talking about this,

00:54:59.320 but Holy cow.

00:55:01.440 That was amazing.

00:55:02.320 And he gave me some great pointers and it was a lot of fun and people were watching and videoing it.

00:55:06.960 And I appreciate it.

00:55:09.660 Yeah.

00:55:10.060 You appreciate it being documented on the web.

00:55:12.640 Thank you for,

00:55:13.460 for putting that out into the eternal,

00:55:16.160 uh,

00:55:17.080 the,

00:55:17.460 uh,

00:55:17.740 ethernet.

00:55:18.260 I appreciate that.

00:55:19.620 That's funny.

00:55:20.700 That's funny.

00:55:21.540 Yeah.

00:55:22.000 That experience.

00:55:23.540 What?

00:55:23.800 That was actually a highlight of the,

00:55:25.840 of the,

00:55:26.580 of the camp.

00:55:27.780 Watching him get his black belt.

00:55:29.800 Yeah.

00:55:30.100 It was super cool.

00:55:31.000 It was awesome.

00:55:31.660 So there was that.

00:55:32.440 And then,

00:55:33.040 um,

00:55:34.200 session B that dude,

00:55:35.700 I,

00:55:35.940 again,

00:55:36.860 um,

00:55:37.260 I was so moved by that moment and how there was a couple of moments there that really stood out to me is,

00:55:43.880 do you remember when echo gave Jocko a hug?

00:55:47.520 Yeah.

00:55:48.080 It wasn't like a pat on the back.

00:55:51.200 It was like,

00:55:52.200 it was a hug.

00:55:53.260 It was a full on.

00:55:55.700 Yeah.

00:55:56.220 That man,

00:55:58.420 that moment right there was so,

00:56:00.480 so cool to see.

00:56:02.560 Anyway.

00:56:03.060 So we,

00:56:03.340 that,

00:56:03.500 that was session a,

00:56:04.420 so session B,

00:56:05.540 I don't know if I told you this or you knew or not,

00:56:07.520 but,

00:56:08.440 um,

00:56:10.000 Pete and Jocko and the echelon front team,

00:56:12.340 JP,

00:56:12.640 those guys,

00:56:13.660 uh,

00:56:14.200 wanted to raise money for Mark Lee's mother's foundation.

00:56:18.600 Do you know who Mark Lee is?

00:56:20.380 I've heard of Mark Lee.

00:56:21.580 Yeah.

00:56:21.860 And,

00:56:22.280 and it's,

00:56:22.860 uh,

00:56:23.100 I saw this,

00:56:23.780 right?

00:56:23.920 This is the competition between P and JP.

00:56:26.220 Yeah.

00:56:26.780 Yeah.

00:56:27.200 So Mark Lee,

00:56:28.140 if you guys don't know,

00:56:29.200 yeah,

00:56:29.360 no problem.

00:56:29.800 So Mark Lee,

00:56:30.640 if you don't know,

00:56:31.480 is,

00:56:32.900 uh,

00:56:34.040 the first Navy seal to be,

00:56:36.040 he was killed in Iraq.

00:56:36.960 He was the first Navy seal to be killed in Iraq.

00:56:40.000 And,

00:56:40.440 uh,

00:56:41.200 all of his team,

00:56:42.180 Jocko,

00:56:42.620 Leif,

00:56:43.220 uh,

00:56:43.700 JP,

00:56:44.660 all the,

00:56:45.140 the entire team,

00:56:45.920 they all call his,

00:56:46.960 his mom,

00:56:47.680 mama Lee.

00:56:48.540 And she started a foundation for,

00:56:50.740 for veterans and their families.

00:56:53.980 Um,

00:56:54.420 but they wanted to raise some funds.

00:56:55.740 And so JP was going to compete with Pete.

00:57:00.260 Now,

00:57:00.420 JP is a blue belt and Pete is a very,

00:57:03.680 very good black belt,

00:57:04.580 like a high level black belt.

00:57:06.400 And the competition was,

00:57:08.940 they had 10 minutes and,

00:57:12.540 uh,

00:57:13.600 Pete had to sweep him seven times in 10 minutes.

00:57:17.980 Otherwise he lost.

00:57:19.180 And JP,

00:57:21.460 I think if he passed his guard so many times and then he would win,

00:57:25.240 it was something like that.

00:57:26.080 So there's these little caveats.

00:57:27.040 Cause otherwise it just wouldn't be a fair competition.

00:57:28.880 Right?

00:57:29.740 Yeah.

00:57:29.920 And it's sweet,

00:57:30.480 by the way,

00:57:30.820 guys is the guys on bottom per se,

00:57:33.960 and they flip position.

00:57:35.640 And the guy on top is now on bottom.

00:57:37.260 The other guy's on top.

00:57:38.080 Right.

00:57:38.580 I mean,

00:57:38.800 I generalize that,

00:57:39.780 but just so everyone knows.

00:57:41.700 So,

00:57:42.280 yeah.

00:57:42.580 So Pete,

00:57:43.320 Pete got six in.

00:57:44.860 In fact,

00:57:45.620 JP hurt both of his shoulders and his elbow and Pete stopped.

00:57:49.800 He had him in,

00:57:50.680 I think he called it like a,

00:57:51.860 a lasso sweep.

00:57:52.780 I think is what he had said.

00:57:54.300 And ended up hurting his arm and is like,

00:57:56.200 Whoa,

00:57:56.620 are you okay?

00:57:57.180 And JP's like,

00:57:57.760 yeah,

00:57:57.920 yeah,

00:57:58.080 I'm okay.

00:57:58.580 And he kept going.

00:57:59.540 He wasn't okay.

00:58:00.560 He hurt.

00:58:00.980 Like,

00:58:01.120 I think he separated his shoulders or his elbow or something.

00:58:03.520 Like he really hurt himself.

00:58:05.280 So Pete got six sweeps and they had like maybe a minute or so left.

00:58:12.760 And,

00:58:13.180 uh,

00:58:13.540 they got stood up.

00:58:14.400 Like they stood up for some reason,

00:58:15.620 which they shouldn't have,

00:58:16.240 but they were stood up.

00:58:17.180 And Pete was like really trying to get him and flip him over his head.

00:58:21.480 And because that was part of the competition.

00:58:23.700 If he did a balloon sweep,

00:58:25.980 then he didn't need all six or seven.

00:58:29.440 Yeah.

00:58:29.640 Yeah.

00:58:29.860 Cause the balloons a little bit more difficult to catch.

00:58:31.920 Yeah.

00:58:32.200 So he tried and he just couldn't get them.

00:58:34.120 JP just sprawled and he couldn't get them.

00:58:36.220 And so JP ended up winning the match and Pete had to pay.

00:58:40.900 I say had to,

00:58:42.180 but Pete,

00:58:42.920 uh,

00:58:43.740 donated $2,500 to the foundation.

00:58:47.840 That's cool.

00:58:48.380 And then,

00:58:49.660 um,

00:58:50.160 an anonymous donor came in and ended up matching that contribution.

00:58:53.700 And then there was a bunch of little side bets going on.

00:58:57.600 And so they ended up raising at that match alone,

00:59:00.100 six grand.

00:59:02.080 No way.

00:59:03.180 Yeah.

00:59:03.360 That is cool.

00:59:04.460 Yeah.

00:59:04.660 That other people got into it.

00:59:05.960 Yeah.

00:59:06.160 It was really cool,

00:59:06.860 man.

00:59:07.120 It was,

00:59:07.740 it was a lot of fun,

00:59:08.740 but it was a great way to start off session B to see those guys.

00:59:11.540 And the,

00:59:12.680 the crowd was,

00:59:14.600 was split on who they were rooting for.

00:59:16.720 It was,

00:59:17.360 it was cool.

00:59:18.220 It was a lot of fun.

00:59:20.120 Yeah.

00:59:21.180 That's great.

00:59:21.920 So go full week next time.

00:59:24.040 Kip.

00:59:24.960 Yeah.

00:59:25.440 Full weekend.

00:59:26.500 You guys that didn't go,

00:59:27.740 that were on the fence,

00:59:28.660 uh,

00:59:29.400 be ready to get updates in regards to the next year's immersion camp.

00:59:33.520 It was,

00:59:34.200 it was a cool event.

00:59:35.120 It was super great.

00:59:36.200 Really cool.

00:59:36.880 All right.

00:59:37.180 Let's take a couple more.

00:59:38.060 I think we're,

00:59:38.800 I think we're getting to an,

00:59:39.740 to the hour mark.

00:59:40.460 Let's take a couple more.

00:59:41.620 All right.

00:59:42.100 Matt Meehan.

00:59:43.560 Are you giving elk hunting another shot this year?

00:59:47.360 Uh,

00:59:47.760 I don't think this year elk hunting is in the cards.

00:59:50.940 Um,

00:59:51.760 not that I'm opposed to it.

00:59:52.800 Like if you're offering,

00:59:53.560 I'll definitely take you up on that.

00:59:55.520 Um,

00:59:56.320 but I don't have any elk hunts planned currently.

00:59:58.540 I've got,

00:59:59.200 uh,

01:00:00.380 three deer hunts planned for actually four deer hunts planned and,

01:00:04.540 uh,

01:00:05.540 uh,

01:00:06.380 we'll be going after Turkey here in Maine as well as deer here in Maine and

01:00:11.660 probably some waterfowl hunting as well with some friends here in Maine

01:00:15.120 and potentially a deer and pig hunt as well in Texas.

01:00:22.200 Are there elk in Maine?

01:00:23.440 I've never,

01:00:24.080 I've never given thought to this.

01:00:26.140 No elk.

01:00:27.920 Mostly you think Utah and Colorado is what most people would.

01:00:31.220 I mean,

01:00:31.440 that's,

01:00:31.760 that's,

01:00:32.140 I think there's elk in California as well,

01:00:33.880 maybe Northern California,

01:00:34.760 but most of the time when you're hunting elk,

01:00:36.800 you're,

01:00:37.080 you're thinking Utah and Colorado,

01:00:38.840 maybe Nevada,

01:00:39.460 Nevada as well.

01:00:40.480 Yeah.

01:00:40.620 Okay.

01:00:40.880 But that's a little unique to the Rocky mountain.

01:00:44.220 Yeah.

01:00:44.760 Yeah.

01:00:45.360 I've just,

01:00:46.500 I don't know why I just,

01:00:47.860 am I a little bubble?

01:00:48.880 I just never given thought to where elk are located.

01:00:51.840 Yeah.

01:00:52.260 That's interesting.

01:00:52.960 No.

01:00:53.160 Yeah.

01:00:53.400 Utah,

01:00:54.360 probably Idaho as well.

01:00:55.380 Colorado,

01:00:55.880 Nevada,

01:00:56.660 California,

01:00:58.120 uh,

01:00:58.400 Oregon,

01:00:58.880 I believe as well.

01:00:59.820 And I don't know if they get up into Washington or not.

01:01:02.380 I'm not sure.

01:01:03.020 But you guys do have moose out there.

01:01:05.720 Moose.

01:01:06.200 Quite a bit,

01:01:06.420 right?

01:01:06.640 Yeah.

01:01:06.820 It's a,

01:01:07.340 it's a tag that you have to draw out for.

01:01:09.860 Unfortunately,

01:01:10.220 I got here after the date that we had to put in for our tag.

01:01:13.760 There's a lot of rules here in Maine.

01:01:15.300 Oh my goodness.

01:01:16.600 Yeah.

01:01:16.960 We're getting it figured out and make sure we do this thing legally and ethically.

01:01:20.480 Yeah.

01:01:20.960 Copy.

01:01:21.420 That's a funny thing.

01:01:22.080 Actually.

01:01:22.320 I want to talk about that for a second because,

01:01:23.980 um,

01:01:25.280 the hunting conservation and dichotomy,

01:01:27.940 I guess you'd say is,

01:01:28.860 is one that's on a lot of people's minds and most hunters understand this,

01:01:33.180 but if you're not to hunter or maybe are considering it,

01:01:35.520 um,

01:01:35.900 I just put our plates on our,

01:01:37.560 on our,

01:01:38.040 uh,

01:01:38.260 my truck.

01:01:38.860 I know I'm,

01:01:39.920 I'm behind.

01:01:40.480 I should have done it within like 30 days or whatever.

01:01:42.100 I didn't.

01:01:42.520 Okay.

01:01:43.160 You can call the DMV out here or whatever.

01:01:44.960 Now everyone knows.

01:01:45.840 Yeah.

01:01:47.040 And,

01:01:47.460 and I got,

01:01:48.440 I'm like,

01:01:48.860 I want the one with the moose on it.

01:01:49.900 Right.

01:01:50.120 That's,

01:01:50.580 that's the one we want.

01:01:51.260 And it said,

01:01:52.080 uh,

01:01:53.100 what does it say?

01:01:53.860 Like conserve wildlife or something,

01:01:55.400 something on it.

01:01:55.980 And I thought,

01:01:56.460 well,

01:01:56.520 that's kind of ironic because I hunt.

01:01:58.900 And then I thought,

01:01:59.680 well,

01:01:59.780 that's,

01:02:00.040 it's not really ironic because a lot of people don't realize this.

01:02:03.320 Yeah.

01:02:03.600 Because the hunting community is the biggest,

01:02:06.460 I think the biggest community that's conserving and adding funds and they're

01:02:10.520 actually in the environments and they're doing the most good towards these

01:02:13.300 conservation efforts.

01:02:14.420 I don't know why I got thinking about that,

01:02:15.940 but,

01:02:16.280 um,

01:02:16.860 yeah,

01:02:17.120 if you've ever considered hunting,

01:02:18.780 um,

01:02:19.660 do it.

01:02:20.980 I,

01:02:21.440 I really think it's going to be a valuable,

01:02:23.780 valuable,

01:02:24.300 important part of your life.

01:02:25.980 To whatever degree and capacity that you get into it.

01:02:28.460 I've got a good friend.

01:02:29.220 In fact,

01:02:29.540 the first,

01:02:30.120 the guy who took me hunting is Colin Cottrell.

01:02:32.300 And if you look him up on Facebook or Instagram,

01:02:34.700 you can find it,

01:02:35.460 but he's teaching people new,

01:02:37.620 new hunters,

01:02:38.280 what they need and how to hunt and how to get into it.

01:02:41.200 It's pretty cool.

01:02:41.940 Activate the hunt is,

01:02:42.940 is what it's called.

01:02:43.980 That's right.

01:02:44.860 That's right.

01:02:46.000 All right.

01:02:46.680 Patrick Abbott,

01:02:47.840 when did overanalyzing and getting everybody's thoughts on the most basics of

01:02:52.500 life issues before taking action became the norm?

01:02:55.980 So we reviewed these questions beforehand and I thought this,

01:02:58.880 I thought this was a good question.

01:03:00.020 And then I'm like,

01:03:00.560 well,

01:03:00.640 that's kind of an ironic question,

01:03:02.020 right?

01:03:02.420 That he'd be asking for our advice while asking why other people are asking for

01:03:05.860 advice.

01:03:07.140 But it is interesting because I think he's right in that we,

01:03:11.840 well,

01:03:12.540 we just live in an information culture,

01:03:14.180 right?

01:03:14.480 It's the information age.

01:03:15.840 Like there's books and there's podcasts and there's videos and there's YouTube and

01:03:20.380 there's social media accounts and there's blogs and there's so much information out

01:03:24.520 there that we are inundated and consumed by it.

01:03:26.800 And we almost in a way of falling into the trap of believing that we need to

01:03:30.600 consult the experts or other people to make decisions.

01:03:33.720 And we certainly should,

01:03:35.080 if they're complex or we don't have something figured out,

01:03:37.740 but man,

01:03:39.880 sometimes I agree in this case is like,

01:03:43.140 just make a decision and,

01:03:45.600 and be bold and be assertive.

01:03:47.600 And guess what?

01:03:48.820 If it doesn't work out,

01:03:50.360 change the course of your decision making process.

01:03:53.580 Like we're not talking about brain surgery here.

01:03:55.760 We're not talking about solving humanity's largest crises.

01:03:59.660 We're talking about where do you want to eat for dinner?

01:04:02.860 Or how do I tell my wife that I love her?

01:04:05.420 Or how do I have the birds and bees talk with my kids?

01:04:08.180 It's like those,

01:04:08.860 you don't need consultation for that.

01:04:11.760 You just need to go do it.

01:04:13.080 And it's ironic for me to say that because I make a,

01:04:15.220 I've made a career off giving people advice,

01:04:18.900 but damn,

01:04:21.240 you don't need advice on everything.

01:04:23.120 It's okay to just make decisions without having to consult somebody.

01:04:26.920 So give it a try and see how your decision making process works.

01:04:30.160 And if it doesn't work correctly,

01:04:31.180 then just pivot and alter change,

01:04:32.820 get better,

01:04:33.640 but you don't need to consult people for the tiniest of details.

01:04:37.900 I also think it's an attention gathering thing as well.

01:04:41.280 You know,

01:04:41.820 if you're asking those questions and people are giving you attention because,

01:04:45.520 you know,

01:04:46.160 well,

01:04:46.620 I'll give you an example.

01:04:47.920 And again,

01:04:48.280 this is going to be ironic because I'm saying it now,

01:04:49.740 but yesterday we celebrated my daughter's birthday.

01:04:51.940 I just didn't feel the need to post that all over social media.

01:04:55.740 And I didn't,

01:04:56.540 I didn't need the attention for that.

01:04:57.840 Could I have gotten attention for that?

01:04:59.020 Yeah.

01:05:00.260 But I didn't need it because sometimes I just like being present with my family and not worrying about what the hell everybody else thinks.

01:05:07.280 Yeah.

01:05:07.920 So you don't need the attention.

01:05:09.720 You just need to be a good man and focus on the people that matter,

01:05:13.100 which is your immediate circle.

01:05:15.220 I do think there's a social condition here.

01:05:18.240 I,

01:05:18.400 I,

01:05:18.720 I mean,

01:05:19.400 we're look,

01:05:20.140 I don't even buy weed killer without checking first.

01:05:23.980 Right.

01:05:24.320 Like,

01:05:24.620 right.

01:05:25.140 So I'll confirm the right weed killer before I buy it.

01:05:27.780 Why?

01:05:28.040 Because,

01:05:28.460 well,

01:05:28.560 if I'm going to buy something,

01:05:29.440 I'm going to make sure that I got the right stuff.

01:05:31.240 So I,

01:05:31.760 I think there's a social condition of we're in the information age and everything's available to us.

01:05:36.440 So we double check,

01:05:37.200 right.

01:05:37.800 Or,

01:05:38.300 or we'll validate.

01:05:39.000 I do also think that there's an element of this that is we're not as confident in ourselves as maybe our forefathers were.

01:05:48.120 Right.

01:05:48.640 We don't think we can figure it out.

01:05:50.700 We don't,

01:05:51.440 we haven't,

01:05:52.400 you know,

01:05:53.620 tried enough things to learn that.

01:05:55.580 That's the point.

01:05:56.220 You know,

01:05:56.420 I could drudge through this.

01:05:57.760 I can figure this out.

01:05:58.800 So we,

01:05:59.700 we hop online,

01:06:00.820 we analyze because one,

01:06:03.400 some of us might be thinking that there's an easier way and that's not going to be complex.

01:06:09.000 Or we're overanalyzing it and we're just perpetuating something and procrastinating.

01:06:13.640 Or the other part is like,

01:06:15.000 we don't have confidence in ourselves that we can figure it out.

01:06:17.240 And so,

01:06:18.240 you know,

01:06:18.520 we have to get everyone's thoughts,

01:06:20.100 not have to,

01:06:21.000 but we choose to get everyone's thoughts and,

01:06:22.880 and feedback on things.

01:06:24.540 So I,

01:06:25.080 I think there's lots of elements in this.

01:06:27.400 Um,

01:06:27.840 some of them good,

01:06:28.880 some of them obviously bad,

01:06:30.520 but one thing's for sure.

01:06:32.440 If it,

01:06:33.200 if it's stopping us from taking action,

01:06:35.040 I think both of us can agree.

01:06:36.420 And that's a problem.

01:06:38.200 Right.

01:06:38.760 And you mentioned this all the time,

01:06:40.460 Ryan.

01:06:40.720 It's like,

01:06:41.020 if you're going to lean in one direction or the other,

01:06:44.680 lead in the direction of overaction versus analysis,

01:06:48.340 right?

01:06:48.980 Because far too often that seems to be more of a problem where we're over,

01:06:52.980 overanalyzing,

01:06:53.920 we're thinking it too much and just not taking action.

01:06:56.520 Yeah,

01:06:56.720 you're exactly right.

01:06:57.620 You know,

01:06:57.840 what was interesting about,

01:06:58.880 uh,

01:06:59.680 Jocko's podcast that came out yesterday was he talked about,

01:07:03.200 he didn't have a grand plan for echelon front.

01:07:06.400 Did you notice that when,

01:07:07.300 I don't know if you got to that part.

01:07:08.620 Yeah.

01:07:08.980 I love that.

01:07:09.700 Yeah.

01:07:09.820 That was my favorite thing about the episode.

01:07:12.040 He didn't have a grand plan.

01:07:13.280 People,

01:07:13.560 somebody asked me at the event,

01:07:14.520 they were asking about how I started to order a man waiting for my magical

01:07:17.060 formula that I put together that created this.

01:07:19.160 I didn't have it.

01:07:20.480 I didn't expect it would be like Jocko.

01:07:23.580 I didn't expect what it would be and what it would turn into.

01:07:26.540 I had no idea.

01:07:27.680 It was,

01:07:28.380 I'm not going to say it was an accident,

01:07:29.780 but it was very fortunate the way that it happened and played out.

01:07:34.760 And I just took action.

01:07:36.500 I just,

01:07:37.400 yeah,

01:07:37.600 I should start a podcast.

01:07:39.040 Okay.

01:07:39.920 So I started a podcast.

01:07:41.700 Yeah.

01:07:41.860 And just to be clear,

01:07:42.840 if you or Jocko planned and analyzed the probability of either one of those two

01:07:48.140 things may have not happened.

01:07:49.420 Right.

01:07:50.400 That's exactly right.

01:07:51.920 Yeah.

01:07:52.580 All right.

01:07:53.020 Let's take maybe what one more.

01:07:54.740 Yeah.

01:07:55.060 One more.

01:07:55.560 All right.

01:07:55.840 Chris Dalton,

01:07:56.840 best advice for someone going into another relationship where the other person has

01:08:01.260 children.

01:08:01.760 I believe Kip would have some experience related to this.

01:08:04.080 I have no idea where you're talking about,

01:08:05.300 Chris.

01:08:06.520 I don't have any input because I don't really know.

01:08:10.000 I mean,

01:08:10.340 I think I'll just go back to my default answers of keeping the lines of

01:08:14.340 communication open,

01:08:15.680 clearly establishing expectations and standards and benchmarks.

01:08:19.720 And how things will be approached before they come up.

01:08:22.940 Discipline being a big one.

01:08:24.240 Like what is,

01:08:25.760 what is the line for discipline?

01:08:28.460 What do you expect from me as,

01:08:29.920 as your husband and your kids is a stepfather?

01:08:33.980 Like these are the kinds of conversations that you probably ought to be having

01:08:37.060 before you get into the situation.

01:08:38.800 Because if you start disciplining one of her children,

01:08:41.260 maybe you're going to cross a line that you didn't know existed.

01:08:45.240 And unless you address these upfront,

01:08:48.200 you're not going to know.

01:08:49.180 So you got to use a little foresight on this,

01:08:51.680 be smart,

01:08:53.220 predict some potential situations that may come up that would create some problems.

01:08:59.020 And,

01:08:59.420 and like I said,

01:09:01.020 be,

01:09:01.360 be smart,

01:09:02.120 be smart about the way that you go into this thing.

01:09:04.560 Yeah,

01:09:04.820 I would,

01:09:05.480 to be frank,

01:09:06.420 that's exactly what I'd recommend.

01:09:08.640 You,

01:09:09.120 you got it.

01:09:09.860 You got to have over.

01:09:11.140 And I say over communication just because we might feel it's not necessary,

01:09:15.280 but it is necessary.

01:09:17.080 So it's,

01:09:17.780 it's just really open communication of how are you going to deal with all the

01:09:23.280 different nuances that you guys can come up with.

01:09:25.220 Everything from discipline to what do you call them?

01:09:30.180 You're like mom and dad,

01:09:32.540 is it Bob or Chris or,

01:09:35.000 you know,

01:09:35.140 whatever.

01:09:35.540 Like I would have conversations around all of those different aspects in

01:09:39.660 regards to what that looks like.

01:09:41.020 The second thing I'd actually give some advice on is there are some natural

01:09:46.500 tendencies,

01:09:47.260 social conditions that are going to show up that are not going to show up

01:09:50.140 normally.

01:09:50.500 And one of them is,

01:09:52.180 is kind of what I calling mama bear syndrome by default,

01:09:57.300 whether you like it or not,

01:09:58.960 she is going to protect her children in a unique way that she wouldn't normally

01:10:04.020 protect them if they were biologically from both of you.

01:10:07.940 And it's going to piss you off.

01:10:09.980 And,

01:10:10.500 and she's going to over baby.

01:10:12.240 You're going to want to overcompensate and be a little bit harder because

01:10:15.280 she's over babying and it's just going to perpetuate those things more and

01:10:18.860 more.

01:10:19.060 You guys need to get on the same page of the benefits of dad and the benefits

01:10:24.600 of mom and the fact that they are different.

01:10:27.200 And that is by design and it's perfectly okay.

01:10:31.280 You got to get on the same page.

01:10:33.400 It's really funny.

01:10:34.380 I think is,

01:10:35.960 and we've talked about this,

01:10:36.860 the nuances of,

01:10:37.940 of dads and moms and how they raise their children.

01:10:40.340 And when we talk about how that's beneficial to children,

01:10:44.240 those same thing exists with,

01:10:46.480 step parents and,

01:10:48.640 you know,

01:10:49.180 biological and non-biological parents,

01:10:51.940 but it,

01:10:52.840 it almost seems to be heightened.

01:10:55.020 Right.

01:10:55.580 And those problems seem to be even more upfront and personable and it,

01:11:01.300 and there's more meaning that people add around them.

01:11:03.540 And there's just so much around that.

01:11:05.140 And so I would really make sure that you guys get on the same page and realize

01:11:09.600 that there are kind of somewhat unique dynamics that may exist and they're

01:11:14.220 not wrong.

01:11:14.920 They're not right.

01:11:15.660 They're just unique dynamics.

01:11:16.760 And I would address those and make sure that you both are on the same page.

01:11:21.220 But most importantly to realize that your role,

01:11:25.900 whether you're the biological parent or not is very important.

01:11:31.320 And,

01:11:31.800 and that mom sees that as well.

01:11:33.940 And that you guys supporting each other in those roles.

01:11:37.460 I think that's great,

01:11:38.680 man.

01:11:39.140 I think that's really good feedback.

01:11:40.500 I think what I'm trying to think of what would keep somebody from doing this.

01:11:46.140 And I just think it's uncomfortable conversation.

01:11:48.500 And I can't say that uncomfortable conversations and maybe the feeling of

01:11:51.800 being a little awkward by talking about disciplining or what names and the

01:11:57.180 things that you said,

01:11:57.940 the suggestions you made.

01:11:59.980 Yeah,

01:12:00.380 they're going to be uncomfortable,

01:12:01.340 but I promise you if you don't do it,

01:12:04.020 you're going to have uncomfortable conversations later.

01:12:07.080 It's just going to be magnified 10 times.

01:12:09.480 Totally.

01:12:09.820 And your,

01:12:10.520 your kids are going to be affected by it,

01:12:12.060 right?

01:12:12.500 If you guys aren't on the same page and you're overcompensating,

01:12:16.140 and you're writing the kids a little bit harder than mom.

01:12:18.440 And then mom undermines you and lets them get away with stuff.

01:12:21.640 What are you teaching Timmy?

01:12:24.260 Right.

01:12:24.740 You're teaching them that boundaries don't exist,

01:12:27.220 that you don't respect your spouse,

01:12:29.360 that this is how marriages work,

01:12:31.300 where partners aren't working together.

01:12:32.880 Like you're teaching your kids a bunch of horrible stuff.

01:12:36.260 So you guys need to get on the same page and make sure that you're a team.

01:12:40.400 Um,

01:12:41.400 you're,

01:12:42.020 you're the one that's great at labeling authors,

01:12:44.740 but,

01:12:45.320 uh,

01:12:46.060 um,

01:12:46.560 in the boy crisis,

01:12:47.460 he even talks about this a little bit.

01:12:50.000 Yeah.

01:12:50.360 Uh,

01:12:50.680 Dr.

01:12:51.060 Leonard Sachs,

01:12:52.400 Leonard Sachs.

01:12:53.000 Yep.

01:12:53.560 Oh no,

01:12:54.060 I'm sorry.

01:12:54.480 Warren Farrell.

01:12:55.100 Sorry.

01:12:55.940 Warren Farrell.

01:12:56.460 That's right.

01:12:57.260 Leonard Sachs does some similar work,

01:12:58.940 but,

01:12:59.180 uh,

01:12:59.340 different books.

01:13:00.460 Okay.

01:13:01.100 Yeah.

01:13:01.800 Well,

01:13:02.180 cool.

01:13:02.420 I think we went through a lot,

01:13:03.600 Kip.

01:13:03.800 If you don't mind,

01:13:04.460 I am actually going to close this out today.

01:13:05.960 Cause I had a couple of notes here that I wanted to mention that I

01:13:08.880 failed to share with you.

01:13:10.360 So yeah,

01:13:11.040 love it.

01:13:11.500 All right.

01:13:12.000 So the first thing guys,

01:13:13.240 I want to make a mention of my friends and show sponsors.

01:13:16.380 I know I talk about origin a lot,

01:13:17.920 but one company I don't talk a whole lot about is Soren X and,

01:13:21.880 uh,

01:13:22.640 Soren X just sent me a home gym.

01:13:25.240 Uh,

01:13:25.600 it's one of their,

01:13:26.220 uh,

01:13:26.520 XL racks and it's absolutely incredible.

01:13:29.280 I set it up,

01:13:30.180 finished it this morning.

01:13:31.240 I'm going to be working out on it this afternoon.

01:13:33.740 Uh,

01:13:34.160 they've got the center mass bells,

01:13:35.800 which are,

01:13:36.340 uh,

01:13:37.260 think of,

01:13:37.740 it's from that episode,

01:13:38.940 hollow balls.

01:13:39.600 If you listen to the Friday field notes,

01:13:40.860 I talk a little bit about these center mass bells.

01:13:43.140 Ryan works with the works out with those a lot.

01:13:45.100 Absolutely.

01:13:45.540 Hollow balls,

01:13:46.120 man.

01:13:46.380 That's what it's all about.

01:13:47.400 I told,

01:13:47.900 I told Bert that I was going to,

01:13:49.520 my mission in life was to get everybody to start calling,

01:13:52.880 uh,

01:13:53.420 center mass bells,

01:13:54.360 hollow balls.

01:13:54.980 So I don't know if he appreciates that or not,

01:13:56.860 but you guys can help me in that movement.

01:13:59.860 Um,

01:14:00.660 so anyways,

01:14:01.440 uh,

01:14:01.760 go check out their stuff.

01:14:02.920 Soren X S O R I N E X.com.

01:14:05.700 Check out the racks.

01:14:06.760 Very cool stuff.

01:14:08.240 Uh,

01:14:08.560 I think these guys are about to,

01:14:10.240 about to take over.

01:14:11.660 I really do.

01:14:12.560 Center mass bells are cool.

01:14:13.960 We've got a lot of cool stuff.

01:14:14.780 Check it out.

01:14:15.820 Uh,

01:14:16.300 what else?

01:14:16.820 YouTube is online and up and running.

01:14:19.760 Uh,

01:14:20.100 we've got a couple of interview shows up there.

01:14:22.180 We've got one or two,

01:14:23.320 ask me anything's up there.

01:14:24.860 Uh,

01:14:25.260 you're going to see a lot more on YouTube from us,

01:14:28.080 including,

01:14:29.060 uh,

01:14:29.760 our new podcast studio in my house,

01:14:32.600 which should be done here in the next week,

01:14:34.380 week and a half.

01:14:35.200 So if you had to order,

01:14:36.440 excuse me,

01:14:37.020 youtube.com slash order of man,

01:14:38.760 you can check that out and subscribe and then share.

01:14:41.100 We already have,

01:14:42.000 I think like 44,

01:14:44.060 almost 45,000 subscribers and I'd love to hit.

01:14:47.060 Yeah.

01:14:47.220 I'd love to hit that a hundred thousand Mark.

01:14:48.900 So please do that.

01:14:50.640 And the last thing is the iron council.

01:14:53.000 This is our exclusive brotherhood where we are holding each other

01:14:57.200 accountable.

01:14:57.760 We're communicating,

01:14:58.800 we're talking,

01:14:59.440 we're holding each other's feet to the fire.

01:15:01.000 We're doing some incredible,

01:15:01.940 incredible things.

01:15:02.860 And I'm telling you,

01:15:03.640 going at it alone might be effective,

01:15:05.580 but not as efficient as possible.

01:15:08.520 Finding a solid band of brothers goes a very,

01:15:11.540 very long way,

01:15:12.160 regardless of what your objectives are.

01:15:13.940 So you can check that out at order of man.com slash iron council.

01:15:17.400 And then the last thing,

01:15:18.480 the very last thing,

01:15:19.240 uh,

01:15:20.000 is our main event.

01:15:21.260 Kip,

01:15:21.700 I don't think I told you this.

01:15:22.660 We've have 75 spots available.

01:15:24.220 We've already sold 55 and it's not starting.

01:15:27.060 It's,

01:15:27.460 it's,

01:15:27.740 it's like nine months away.

01:15:29.760 So,

01:15:30.120 so I'm telling you guys,

01:15:31.880 there's a couple of different options on there as far as pricing goes,

01:15:34.160 that that'll work for you.

01:15:35.880 Um,

01:15:36.360 if you want to join us,

01:15:37.520 you better do it quick.

01:15:38.620 Cause we only have,

01:15:39.400 like I said,

01:15:39.660 the 20 spots or whatever it is available.

01:15:42.700 Um,

01:15:43.660 it's order of man.com slash main event.

01:15:45.840 And you can see everything that's going on there.

01:15:47.480 That's it.

01:15:48.220 Anything you would add Kip?

01:15:49.880 No,

01:15:50.140 sir.

01:15:50.580 All right,

01:15:50.860 guys,

01:15:51.460 appreciate you.

01:15:51.960 Great questions today.

01:15:52.680 Looking forward to seeing what other questions you have.

01:15:54.780 Um,

01:15:55.020 appreciate you being in this battle with us.

01:15:56.440 Go out there guys,

01:15:57.080 take action,

01:15:57.960 become the man you are meant to be.

01:15:59.900 Thank you for listening to the order of man podcast.

01:16:02.720 You're ready to take charge of your life and be more of the man you were meant to be.

01:16:06.500 We invite you to join the order at order of man.com.

Order of Man - September 04, 2019

Humility and Pride, Finding Your "Generals," and Offering Hope to Your Community ｜ ASK ME ANYTHING

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