Order of Man - In All Things, Be Intentional ｜ FRIDAY FIELD NOTES

00:00:00.000 And because we have so much going on, very rarely do I see a man who's very deliberate and intentional about what he wants to accomplish, what he's willing to say yes to, what he's definitely willing to say no to, and ultimately, how is he going to produce the life that he desires?

00:00:17.880 So get out your notepads.

00:00:18.960 I got four key strategies and tips here.

00:00:20.920 And by the way, somebody mentioned this at one of our events the other day.

00:00:23.960 They said to me, I really appreciate your ability to break down the complex into simple strategies.

00:00:31.280 You're a man of action.

00:00:32.800 You live life to the fullest.

00:00:34.400 Embrace your fears and boldly chart your own path.

00:00:37.240 When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time.

00:00:40.680 Every time you are not easily deterred, defeated, rugged, resilient, strong.

00:00:46.560 This is your life.

00:00:47.960 This is who you are.

00:00:49.460 This is who you will become at the end of the day.

00:00:51.960 And after all is said and done, you can call yourself a man.

00:00:57.120 Gentlemen, welcome to the Order of Man podcast.

00:00:59.880 My name is Ryan Michler.

00:01:01.560 I'm your host and the founder.

00:01:03.140 And we've been going strong for over nine years now, which is a testament to the work that we're doing, but also a testament to the work that you're doing.

00:01:11.880 That is the most important thing to me.

00:01:14.340 I could do everything I could possibly do.

00:01:16.700 But if you're not implementing this information, you're not applying this information, and you're not making your life and the lives of the people who care about you better, then we're not really fulfilling our mission.

00:01:26.740 And our mission is to reclaim and restore masculinity in a society that continues to buck, continues to fight against, continues to ostracize, continues to villainize men.

00:01:37.860 I want to establish us as authority figures, as leaders, as men who are credible, and capable, and strong, and bold, and courageous, and at the end of the day, are willing to get things done.

00:01:53.000 So that is the mission of this podcast.

00:01:55.300 We've got this podcast.

00:01:56.360 We've got events.

00:01:57.080 We've got our exclusive brotherhood, the Iron Council.

00:01:59.340 And today is your Friday Field Notes.

00:02:02.040 I'm going to share some thoughts with you today about being intentional in all things.

00:02:08.340 There's a lot of skill sets.

00:02:10.460 There's a lot of things that you need to develop.

00:02:14.180 There's a lot of tools and resources available.

00:02:16.120 But unless you're intentional about what you want to accomplish on both the personal and professional front, you're going to leave yourself wanting.

00:02:24.040 And those, again, who you care about, those who are relying upon you, you're not going to serve them as well as you could.

00:02:31.160 So we're going to talk about intentionality.

00:02:33.000 Before I do, I want to mention my good friends and show sponsors over at Montana Knife Company.

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00:03:18.520 All right, guys, with that said, let me get into the conversation today.

00:03:21.860 We're going to talk about four key strategies, four key tips or factors when it comes to being intentional.

00:03:29.600 Because look, at the end of the day, I see a lot of guys who want to accomplish big things.

00:03:35.240 They, to some degree, know what they should be doing.

00:03:37.940 They know they should be in the gym.

00:03:39.820 They know they should be courting their wives and their spouses and their significant others.

00:03:43.720 They know that they should be excelling at work and asking for promotions and developing skill sets and asking for the sale.

00:03:51.140 They know all of these things.

00:03:52.880 And yet, when push comes to shove, they just can't seem to implement for some reason or another.

00:03:59.520 And I think, ultimately, it comes down to whether or not a guy is intentional.

00:04:04.380 If you know what you need to do, but you're not really intentional about doing it, then you might do some things that work, and you might do some other things that don't really work.

00:04:14.140 And you're kind of just throwing everything at the wall and just seeing what sticks.

00:04:20.100 I don't want you to do that.

00:04:21.460 I'm busy.

00:04:22.500 You're busy.

00:04:23.280 We're inundated with the amount of things that we can do on a daily basis.

00:04:27.500 I was thinking about this just yesterday as my second son is almost wrapping up his baseball season.

00:04:34.080 I've got my oldest son who just finished lacrosse.

00:04:37.100 I've got my youngest two children, a boy and a girl who just finished up soccer about a month ago.

00:04:42.600 I've got my second son who has another week or two, depending on how they do, of baseball.

00:04:49.220 There's a lot going on.

00:04:51.460 There is so much going on just in the realm of my kids' sports, let alone business, let alone my own physical prowess, let alone my own relationships, romantic relationships, and even platonic relationships.

00:05:06.240 There is so much going on, and we get bombarded, and we add this to our own plate.

00:05:14.060 We do this to ourselves, and because we have so much going on, very rarely do I see a man who's very deliberate and intentional about what he wants to accomplish, what he's willing to say yes to, what he's definitely willing to say no to, and ultimately, how is he going to produce the life that he desires?

00:05:33.740 So get out your notepads.

00:05:34.780 I've got four key strategies and tips here.

00:05:37.140 And by the way, somebody mentioned this at one of our events the other day.

00:05:39.920 They said to me, I really appreciate your ability to break down the complex into simple strategies.

00:05:47.020 I wish I could say that I'm exceptional at this, and I know what you're going through.

00:05:52.500 Ultimately, it's how I operate.

00:05:54.120 If I can break down complex strategies into four or five or six strategies or steps that help me improve, then I hope I'm giving you the information you need for you to improve.

00:06:06.920 So let's break this down.

00:06:08.100 We've got four key steps.

00:06:09.000 Number one is to identify.

00:06:11.400 So write that down.

00:06:12.940 Identify.

00:06:14.140 Men, I need you to identify what is important and what isn't.

00:06:18.780 Because when we're inundated with messaging and branding and billboards and radio ads and podcast sponsorships and all the social media channels that you belong to,

00:06:30.940 and I know that I'm infiltrating some of that when it comes to what you guys are consuming,

00:06:37.140 it's really difficult to delineate between what we should be consuming and what is important to us and what isn't.

00:06:46.260 I spend a lot of time throughout my day deleting, blocking, banning, unfriending, unfollowing, all of the social media accounts that are not relevant to me.

00:06:58.840 And I want you to focus on four key areas of your life.

00:07:02.080 That's it.

00:07:03.260 Four key areas.

00:07:04.700 We don't need 17.

00:07:06.620 We don't need 20.

00:07:07.620 We don't need 100.

00:07:09.380 We need four.

00:07:10.700 And the four are very simply this.

00:07:12.720 Calibration.

00:07:13.960 That is getting right with yourself.

00:07:15.800 Mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.

00:07:19.320 It's connection.

00:07:20.700 The relationships that you have with other people.

00:07:22.720 Your friendships, romantic relationships, partnerships in business, etc.

00:07:27.800 Next is condition.

00:07:29.180 It's your physical health.

00:07:30.780 Your sleep, your recovery, your diet, your nutrition, your strength training, other skill sets that revolve around your physical fitness.

00:07:39.460 And the last, it's contribution.

00:07:41.220 And contribution is becoming a man of value.

00:07:43.340 How do you add value by learning new resources, or excuse me, new skill sets, developing new ways of operating, identifying resources that are available to you?

00:07:57.340 This is all what we call contribution.

00:08:01.000 So, if you can focus on those four key areas, then everything else should be rendered irrelevant.

00:08:07.960 Now, I know it's hard.

00:08:12.120 I know you probably follow 2,000 people on Instagram.

00:08:15.640 I know that you pull up YouTube and you are able to escape from whatever your daily life looks like.

00:08:23.900 But entertainment is important.

00:08:25.880 I'm not going to say that.

00:08:27.180 That falls into the calibration component.

00:08:29.400 You have to be able to be entertained and have some joy and fulfillment and satisfaction in life.

00:08:34.680 But if it's coming at the expense of everything else that you want to accomplish, it's going to be a problem for you.

00:08:41.000 So, number one, I want you to identify what is actually important to you in those four areas.

00:08:49.080 Calibration, is it reading the Bible?

00:08:52.980 Is it getting a closer relationship with God?

00:08:56.100 Is it overcoming some insecurities?

00:08:59.380 And this is something I've specifically had to deal with over the past specifically two weeks.

00:09:04.900 I've identified some insecurities.

00:09:07.920 And my girlfriend has helped me, for better or worse, identify those insecurities.

00:09:13.320 But what are those insecurities and what do I need to do to shore those up so that I can move forward in confidence and clarity and boldness with my life?

00:09:22.400 But again, calibration is mental, emotional, and spiritual.

00:09:27.360 Is it journaling?

00:09:28.440 This is something that I've done.

00:09:30.180 In fact, every single day for the past week, I have gotten my journal out.

00:09:34.760 I've got a notepad right here.

00:09:36.080 It's kind of a little bit buried today.

00:09:37.840 I've got my battle planner and some tax stuff.

00:09:41.720 But third down the list is my notepad.

00:09:46.320 And every single day for the past week, I've been going in there and just asking myself one simple question.

00:09:54.840 What do I want to accomplish today?

00:09:57.300 What am I scared of?

00:09:59.460 What am I excited about?

00:10:01.980 The things I'm scared of, what can I do to overcome those things?

00:10:05.940 How can I be more sure about myself?

00:10:08.300 What can I do on a daily basis to feel good about my own performance, physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, relationally, financially, etc.

00:10:17.800 Guys, this is something that I do every single day.

00:10:21.020 And it's really, really crucial that you begin to know yourself.

00:10:25.300 If you can't know yourself and know what you're after and know what you want to accomplish and know what scares you and know what freaks you out and know what excites you, then really nothing else matters.

00:10:38.500 I've made some posts over the past several weeks on social media.

00:10:42.300 And one of the often trends that I hear or comments that I hear is you just need to know Jesus.

00:10:52.280 And while I can agree with a sentiment, I think important, maybe not more important, maybe, I don't know.

00:11:01.560 I'll let you guys decide that for yourself.

00:11:03.160 But you need to know yourself.

00:11:04.560 You know, when people say, all you need is Jesus, I don't actually believe that's true because Jesus put 8 billion people on the planet as of today.

00:11:14.920 And there's opportunities to learn and grow and develop from those 8 billion people.

00:11:20.320 Even Jesus had disciples.

00:11:22.920 If Jesus was all-knowing, why did he need disciples?

00:11:25.940 If he knew everything there was to learn, why did he need the 12 disciples?

00:11:33.020 It's because we're meant to learn from other people.

00:11:37.020 We're meant to expose ourself to new information.

00:11:40.620 We're meant to get information that challenges us and pushes us in a way that maybe we just couldn't do on our own.

00:11:48.520 If Jesus, from a spiritual perspective, is the epitome of masculinity and manliness and all-knowing omnipotence, why did he have 12 disciples?

00:12:01.880 Consider that, guys.

00:12:03.760 He had 12 disciples because he was a man.

00:12:07.020 He was a human.

00:12:08.260 He needed to learn from other people.

00:12:10.360 He needed to not only serve, but be presented with opportunities to learn.

00:12:18.520 And I want you to really, really consider what you can do to learn in your life in those four realms.

00:12:25.300 Again, calibration, mental, spiritual, emotional, connection, relationships with others, condition, your own physical health, and then contribution, your ability to become a man of value.

00:12:40.580 There are a lot of people who are impacted by the decisions you're making.

00:12:44.700 And I think it's very important to not only understand for yourself, and that's where the identify process comes in, but point number two is to be able to articulate where you're coming from with other people.

00:12:57.900 I've seen a lot of guys who have very clear ideas about what they want to accomplish in life, and yet they're unwilling or unable to communicate that with other people.

00:13:08.960 The problem is, is that everybody else has ideas.

00:13:14.200 They have their own self-interest at heart.

00:13:16.760 And that's not to be devious or deceitful towards you, but everybody is selfish, yourself, myself included.

00:13:25.540 And if we can't clearly articulate what it is that we're after and what it is that we're trying to accomplish with other people, then we can't be upset when they aren't willing to get on board.

00:13:39.080 Nobody is going to believe in you.

00:13:40.920 And I know that's sad.

00:13:42.180 I know that sucks.

00:13:43.100 I know that's hard to hear.

00:13:44.740 But your wife isn't obligated to believe in you. 0.85

00:13:47.440 Your kids are not obligated to believe in you.

00:13:49.980 Your family and friends and closest people in your circle are not obligated to believe in you.

00:13:56.420 They believe in you to the extent that, number one, you've communicated what you're trying to do, and number two, you've met that expectation.

00:14:03.960 If you have not met their expectation, then you are falling lower on the totem pole of hierarchy of credibility, trust, influence, and authority.

00:14:15.700 That isn't convenient.

00:14:17.100 That isn't easy.

00:14:17.940 That's sometimes a hard pill to swallow.

00:14:20.100 But that's the reality.

00:14:21.340 Unless you can clearly articulate what it is you're trying to accomplish with the people who will be impacted directly by the decisions that you're going to be making, you can't hold them accountable to standing by you.

00:14:38.800 Now, if I tell somebody, here's what I'm going to do, here's how I'm going to do it, and then I start working towards that objective, and people see the growth and the progress and the evolution and the results, and they decide to leave anyways, and some people will.

00:14:56.280 At that point, it's on them.

00:14:58.920 It's no longer on me.

00:15:00.320 But if I've identified what I want, and point number two, I've articulated what it is I'm trying to accomplish, and people decide to leave, and they will.

00:15:10.800 Please don't get me wrong.

00:15:11.980 They will.

00:15:13.400 If they decide to leave, that's no longer on my shoulders.

00:15:17.140 But if I've done those things, then I have an expectation of the people, romantic, platonic, and otherwise, to stand by me.

00:15:26.360 And not only stand by me, but to support me, to uplift me, to edify me, to call me on my bullcrap when I'm not doing what I said I would be doing.

00:15:38.500 Excuse me.

00:15:41.420 If they can't do that, then we don't have the right people in our corner.

00:15:46.060 And that might mean that we gradually let these people out of our lives.

00:15:50.000 That might mean that we make abrupt changes when it's appropriate.

00:15:53.640 And that might mean we need to have some very hard, come-to-Jesus-type conversations with other people that we thought were in our corner who aren't.

00:16:03.840 So if point number one is to identify what it is we want to accomplish, point number two is to articulate it to those who will be impacted by it.

00:16:11.640 If I have clients, for example, who, and I'm going back to my financial planning days, who I want to pick up as clients and I want to serve them and build their financial plans, then it's up to me to explain and articulate what it is I want to do.

00:16:28.260 I had a very, very, very, very clear conversation with the woman that I'm dating.

00:16:36.460 This was months, maybe four, three, four months ago.

00:16:40.140 And we had been dating and I decided that this is a woman who I want to date exclusively.

00:16:47.200 I don't want to date other people.

00:16:49.060 I want to date her.

00:16:50.180 I don't want her to date other people.

00:16:51.940 I want her to date me exclusively. 0.90

00:16:54.940 And we were at dinner one night and I said to her, hey, I'm paraphrasing here, but I want to have a conversation with you about dating.

00:17:05.480 I don't know who you're dating.

00:17:07.140 I don't know what you're doing.

00:17:08.260 That's your business.

00:17:10.360 I know that there's other opportunities for me to date and go on dates and see other people, but I'm interested in you.

00:17:16.680 And it doesn't feel right at this point for me to go on other dates when I know if I were to go on those other dates, I would be thinking about you.

00:17:27.440 So I want to date you exclusively.

00:17:31.560 I don't want you to date other people.

00:17:33.140 I'm not going to date other people.

00:17:34.660 I want us to date exclusively.

00:17:37.400 And I remember her telling me this was, she said yes, by the way.

00:17:42.440 And this was several days later, she told me, I'm really glad that you told me that.

00:17:48.600 And I remember her saying how refreshing it was.

00:17:51.380 What she said, and I'm paraphrasing here, is finally somebody who's willing to tell me what they want without beating around the bush.

00:17:58.600 This is the power of intentionality.

00:18:01.180 Now, she had a choice.

00:18:02.200 If she were to come to me in that moment and say to me, hey, you know, I appreciate that you want to date exclusively.

00:18:10.420 I'm not really in that position, so I'm going to continue to date other people.

00:18:14.240 That's her prerogative.

00:18:15.440 She can make that choice.

00:18:17.600 But I'll be damned if I don't communicate what I'm after and what I want.

00:18:24.080 And if she said to me, hey, I want to date other people, at that point, I probably would have cut it off.

00:18:31.540 Because she's not as serious about the relationship as I am.

00:18:34.640 Now, fortunately, it worked out.

00:18:36.020 She was as serious about the relationship as I was.

00:18:38.540 And we've been dating for about six months.

00:18:40.660 And things have been really good.

00:18:43.660 But guys, you've got to communicate.

00:18:46.040 And I'm talking about, obviously, in this romantic context.

00:18:48.820 But with clients, how many of you are unwilling to ask for the sale?

00:18:54.260 The number one reason clients, or excuse me, people, salespeople, whoever that is, don't get the sale through surveys and through the data is because they haven't asked for the sale.

00:19:09.680 You guys just aren't deliberate enough.

00:19:12.160 You aren't intentional enough.

00:19:14.260 When I meet with a client, I tell them, here's what I'm after.

00:19:17.560 I want you to be a client.

00:19:20.080 I think whatever problem you're dealing with, I can address.

00:19:23.700 I have the solutions.

00:19:26.120 And if you don't think that's the case, that's on you.

00:19:28.460 But I believe enough in myself that I'm going to ask you to be a client of mine.

00:19:33.860 If we're not aligned, no harm, no foul.

00:19:37.520 But I'm not going to beat around the bush.

00:19:39.180 I'm not going to pretend.

00:19:40.200 I'm not going to softball it for you.

00:19:42.080 Like, I'm going to tell you exactly what I want and why I want it.

00:19:45.080 And hopefully, our objectives are aligned.

00:19:50.120 And if they are, we'll do business together.

00:19:51.820 If they aren't, we won't.

00:19:53.480 In my relationship, I'm going to tell her exactly what I want and hopefully everything's aligned.

00:19:59.000 If it isn't, then we move on and we go our separate ways.

00:20:01.380 But if it is, then we're together.

00:20:05.100 Be articulate in what it is you want.

00:20:08.740 All right, number three, enlist.

00:20:10.460 Okay, so we're going to need to enlist the help of other people as we get cognizant of what it is we're after.

00:20:19.880 We're going to need resources.

00:20:21.180 We're going to need books.

00:20:22.120 We're going to need information.

00:20:23.520 YouTube is a great resource.

00:20:24.880 This podcast is a great resource.

00:20:26.840 Our brotherhood, the Iron Council, is a great accountability resource.

00:20:30.440 We've got events, and there's other people doing events and programs and courses and everything, books and everything else, podcasts.

00:20:38.580 Guys, you're going to need to enlist some help.

00:20:43.020 It's hard when you're doing your thing to go at it alone, and yet so many of us men go at it alone.

00:20:48.900 We think, and I don't know where we bought into this idea that the lone wolf mentality is the way to go.

00:20:54.040 You need to have other men in your corner supporting you, edifying you, uplifting you.

00:21:01.540 You need intellectual resources.

00:21:03.980 You need spiritual resources.

00:21:05.620 You need to get your physical alignment in check and in order, and unless you can bring in all of these external resources to help you stay congruent to who you want to be, you're going to have a very difficult time doing so.

00:21:18.500 I don't buy into this red pill, MGTOW bullshit, and I don't because, 0.97

00:21:24.040 it promotes, whether it's intended or not, it promotes the idea that men are supposed to go their own way.

00:21:31.060 You're not.

00:21:31.920 You're really not.

00:21:32.860 I wrote a book called Sovereignty, and yet the guy who wrote a book called Sovereignty that guys like Jordan Peterson and other people have based some of their information and talks on,

00:21:43.700 if a guy like that is telling you that not only is it about going your own way, it's about enlisting other people to support you in that mission,

00:21:51.960 I don't know what else I can tell you.

00:21:56.560 This is crucial.

00:21:58.280 You notice people are using the word sovereignty.

00:22:00.500 Why?

00:22:00.860 Because I wrote a book on it, and then they picked up that word, and they picked up that lesson,

00:22:07.840 and I'm grateful that they did because we need to expand this mission,

00:22:12.900 but they picked up that, and they co-opted what we've been sharing for almost a decade now.

00:22:19.920 I'm telling you, you need not only to be sovereign, but you need to enlist other people.

00:22:25.140 You don't go your own way.

00:22:26.500 You enlist people on the path, on the journey to help you accomplish what it is you're after.

00:22:34.580 And so we need to find the resources, the conversations, the podcasts, the tools, the email newsletters,

00:22:42.180 the social media accounts that we follow, the events and experiences that we sign up for and enroll in.

00:22:49.160 I hope you come to ours.

00:22:52.260 If that serves you, great.

00:22:53.820 We just had one a week and a half ago.

00:22:56.200 It was amazing.

00:22:57.120 We had 20 guys descend into the mountains of southern Utah to experience an event unlike any other,

00:23:02.880 and these guys walked away with some very real tools, strategies, tactics, and mindsets

00:23:09.200 to accomplish all they wanted to accomplish in life.

00:23:13.200 If it's our events, great.

00:23:14.600 If it's somebody else's events, great.

00:23:16.360 But make no mistake, you as a man are meant to do it with other men and women in certain contexts.

00:23:26.640 But unless you have other people you're enlisting in the battle, it's going to be futile.

00:23:33.460 You're only one man.

00:23:35.780 You cannot do it alone.

00:23:37.900 I know the Meg Town, the Red Pill guys like to tell you, and the Mikey guys, you can do it alone.

00:23:42.000 You can't do it alone.

00:23:43.080 There's no way.

00:23:43.680 All right, and then the last point that I want to make.

00:23:48.000 So we have identify what it is you're after.

00:23:50.960 Number two, articulate to other people who will be impacted by what it is you're after.

00:23:55.000 Number three, enlist the resources and tools that you need in your corner.

00:23:58.600 And number four is alignment.

00:24:01.020 It's boundaries.

00:24:02.980 I kind of alluded to this already.

00:24:04.820 If there's people in your life, romantic or platonic, who aren't aligned with what you're doing,

00:24:08.960 then those people don't deserve to be in your corner.

00:24:11.280 That isn't speaking to their worth.

00:24:13.220 That isn't speaking any judgment about who they are as human beings.

00:24:16.820 That has nothing to do with that.

00:24:18.320 It just means you're not aligned.

00:24:20.860 It just means what they're after is not in alignment with what you're after.

00:24:24.160 So if you have a relationship that's not working out because these other key areas aren't coming together,

00:24:30.620 then that's a person who is no longer going to be in your life.

00:24:34.100 It doesn't mean they're not worthy.

00:24:37.060 They are worthy.

00:24:38.160 They're a human being.

00:24:39.180 There's inherent worth as a human being.

00:24:41.980 It just means they're not going to be in your life.

00:24:44.860 That's it.

00:24:46.160 Because they're not aligned with what you are.

00:24:48.520 If I'm dropped in the middle of the ocean, for example, and I'm on a rowboat,

00:24:58.120 maybe not the middle of the ocean, but between two islands, let's say,

00:25:01.600 and I'm dropped, I'm plopped right in the middle between those two islands,

00:25:05.560 and there's two of us, and we're on this rowboat.

00:25:08.600 We each have a set of oars, and I believe I need to row south.

00:25:12.480 And the guy with me believes that we need to row north.

00:25:18.260 And so we start going.

00:25:20.620 What happens?

00:25:22.180 We don't go anywhere.

00:25:24.880 I don't need the guy who rows north.

00:25:27.600 He can go row with somebody else.

00:25:29.740 And by the way, he should also say, I don't need the guy, me, in this case,

00:25:33.260 the guy who rows south.

00:25:35.040 He can go row with someone else.

00:25:37.240 I want everybody rowing in the same direction.

00:25:40.020 Now, if somebody has a better way to row, teach me that.

00:25:43.480 Teach me how to do that because there are better ways to row.

00:25:47.160 There are more efficient ways of doing things.

00:25:49.140 But if you're going north and I'm going south,

00:25:51.240 I don't really care about your efficiency.

00:25:53.260 I need to know your direction, your heading first.

00:25:57.620 This is where alignment comes in.

00:25:59.700 And once I know we're aligned in our mission, our objective, where we're going,

00:26:05.380 then we can talk about what's the best way to get there.

00:26:08.360 Is it to row this way?

00:26:09.780 Is it to row that way?

00:26:10.760 Is it short strokes, long strokes, left and then right, or both simultaneously?

00:26:15.680 There's a thousand different ways we can do it.

00:26:17.620 But I need to first know that you are aligned with my mission.

00:26:22.720 And if you're not, you're off the boat.

00:26:25.360 It's not that I don't care about you.

00:26:26.680 It's not that I don't love you.

00:26:28.080 It's not that I don't want you to win.

00:26:29.700 It's that you're not aligned.

00:26:32.160 And that's where boundaries come into play.

00:26:33.980 There are certain ways that I will and will not be treated.

00:26:39.440 And if somebody's going to treat me in a particular way, I'm going to exile them from the boat.

00:26:45.560 I want them to win.

00:26:47.920 I'm going to throw them a life vest even.

00:26:49.440 I'm going to dump them overboard.

00:26:50.600 I'm going to throw them a life vest.

00:26:51.720 And hopefully some other boat that's passing by in the direction they want to go pick them up.

00:26:56.420 It's no longer my responsibility though.

00:26:58.400 And so I'm going to align myself with people, platonic and romantic relationships that are going to help me move in the direction I want to go.

00:27:10.780 And when those boundaries are stepped over and stepped across, I'm going to communicate, right?

00:27:16.140 And that comes back to point number two is articulate.

00:27:19.100 Hey, I will not be treated like that.

00:27:23.040 Hey, this is where I'm going.

00:27:24.780 We both agreed to this, but now it seems like you're going in a different direction.

00:27:28.640 Can you help me understand that?

00:27:29.700 If they say, yeah, I am in a different direction.

00:27:31.520 Say, great, you're off the boat.

00:27:34.580 Go find your own boat or I'm off the boat.

00:27:37.380 One of the two is going to happen.

00:27:38.620 But if we're aligned, cool, that's fine.

00:27:40.440 Let's make sure we get back in alignment and make sure we're rowing towards the same destination.

00:27:45.860 Guys, we have to be intentional in everything that we do.

00:27:50.720 And I would say this as we part and we close out today.

00:27:53.360 If you can't be intentional about it, don't do it.

00:27:58.000 If you're going to be flippant and casual and random and just kind of willy-nilly about it, just don't do it.

00:28:06.780 Do something else that you can be more intentional about.

00:28:10.340 A lot of the times people will listen to this podcast or other podcasts and think that they have to engage in all the same hobbies and activities that I do in order to be a quote-unquote man.

00:28:19.380 I don't believe that.

00:28:20.260 There's a thousand, there's an infinite number of ways to be a man.

00:28:23.940 It's not my way.

00:28:26.400 Now, sure, there's some fundamental truths, protect, provide, preside about being a man.

00:28:32.140 But the way that we honor that, the way we fulfill that, the list is endless.

00:28:37.260 But that's up for you to decide.

00:28:45.260 Have you identified what you want?

00:28:48.020 Have you articulated those desires with other people?

00:28:51.580 Have you enlisted the right tools, resources, and people in your corner to make that a reality?

00:28:55.860 And then have you aligned yourself with the people who are going to move you in the right direction and distance yourself from the people who won't.

00:29:04.660 Intentionality in all things.

00:29:05.920 If you're not going to be intentional, move on to something better.

00:29:09.160 To the point I was making earlier, if you're listening to a podcast and it doesn't resonate with you or you don't care, do something else.

00:29:16.240 It's okay.

00:29:17.620 You didn't need it, but I give you permission to move on to something else.

00:29:20.780 Even if that means you leave listening to this podcast.

00:29:24.420 Find something that's in alignment and congruency with what you want.

00:29:27.340 All right, guys, that's what I've got for you today.

00:29:30.440 We'll be back next week for our interview and Ask Me Anything.

00:29:34.740 If you have any questions, thoughts, considerations, ideas, please message me on Instagram at Ryan Mickler.

00:29:40.800 My last name is M-I-C-H-L-E-R or at Ryan at orderofman.com.

00:29:45.980 And I'll answer those questions for you.

00:29:48.040 Guys, go out there, take action, be intentional, and become the man you are meant to be.

00:29:57.340 Thank you for listening to the Order of Man podcast.

00:30:01.880 You're ready to take charge of your life and be more of the man you were meant to be.

00:30:05.920 We invite you to join the order at orderofman.com.

Order of Man - May 10, 2024

In All Things, Be Intentional ｜ FRIDAY FIELD NOTES

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