In this episode, Ryan talks about the importance of being deliberate and intentional about what you want to accomplish and what you need to do in order to be a good man. He also gives some tips and strategies on how you can be a better man.
00:00:00.000And because we have so much going on, very rarely do I see a man who's very deliberate and intentional about what he wants to accomplish, what he's willing to say yes to, what he's definitely willing to say no to, and ultimately, how is he going to produce the life that he desires?
00:01:03.140And we've been going strong for over nine years now, which is a testament to the work that we're doing, but also a testament to the work that you're doing.
00:01:11.880That is the most important thing to me.
00:01:14.340I could do everything I could possibly do.
00:01:16.700But if you're not implementing this information, you're not applying this information, and you're not making your life and the lives of the people who care about you better, then we're not really fulfilling our mission.
00:01:26.740And our mission is to reclaim and restore masculinity in a society that continues to buck, continues to fight against, continues to ostracize, continues to villainize men.
00:01:37.860I want to establish us as authority figures, as leaders, as men who are credible, and capable, and strong, and bold, and courageous, and at the end of the day, are willing to get things done.
00:01:53.000So that is the mission of this podcast.
00:02:10.460There's a lot of things that you need to develop.
00:02:14.180There's a lot of tools and resources available.
00:02:16.120But unless you're intentional about what you want to accomplish on both the personal and professional front, you're going to leave yourself wanting.
00:02:24.040And those, again, who you care about, those who are relying upon you, you're not going to serve them as well as you could.
00:02:31.160So we're going to talk about intentionality.
00:02:33.000Before I do, I want to mention my good friends and show sponsors over at Montana Knife Company.
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00:03:18.520All right, guys, with that said, let me get into the conversation today.
00:03:21.860We're going to talk about four key strategies, four key tips or factors when it comes to being intentional.
00:03:29.600Because look, at the end of the day, I see a lot of guys who want to accomplish big things.
00:03:35.240They, to some degree, know what they should be doing.
00:03:52.880And yet, when push comes to shove, they just can't seem to implement for some reason or another.
00:03:59.520And I think, ultimately, it comes down to whether or not a guy is intentional.
00:04:04.380If you know what you need to do, but you're not really intentional about doing it, then you might do some things that work, and you might do some other things that don't really work.
00:04:14.140And you're kind of just throwing everything at the wall and just seeing what sticks.
00:04:51.460There is so much going on just in the realm of my kids' sports, let alone business, let alone my own physical prowess, let alone my own relationships, romantic relationships, and even platonic relationships.
00:05:06.240There is so much going on, and we get bombarded, and we add this to our own plate.
00:05:14.060We do this to ourselves, and because we have so much going on, very rarely do I see a man who's very deliberate and intentional about what he wants to accomplish, what he's willing to say yes to, what he's definitely willing to say no to, and ultimately, how is he going to produce the life that he desires?
00:05:54.120If I can break down complex strategies into four or five or six strategies or steps that help me improve, then I hope I'm giving you the information you need for you to improve.
00:06:14.140Men, I need you to identify what is important and what isn't.
00:06:18.780Because when we're inundated with messaging and branding and billboards and radio ads and podcast sponsorships and all the social media channels that you belong to,
00:06:30.940and I know that I'm infiltrating some of that when it comes to what you guys are consuming,
00:06:37.140it's really difficult to delineate between what we should be consuming and what is important to us and what isn't.
00:06:46.260I spend a lot of time throughout my day deleting, blocking, banning, unfriending, unfollowing, all of the social media accounts that are not relevant to me.
00:06:58.840And I want you to focus on four key areas of your life.
00:07:41.220And contribution is becoming a man of value.
00:07:43.340How do you add value by learning new resources, or excuse me, new skill sets, developing new ways of operating, identifying resources that are available to you?
00:07:57.340This is all what we call contribution.
00:08:01.000So, if you can focus on those four key areas, then everything else should be rendered irrelevant.
00:09:07.920And my girlfriend has helped me, for better or worse, identify those insecurities.
00:09:13.320But what are those insecurities and what do I need to do to shore those up so that I can move forward in confidence and clarity and boldness with my life?
00:09:22.400But again, calibration is mental, emotional, and spiritual.
00:10:08.300What can I do on a daily basis to feel good about my own performance, physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, relationally, financially, etc.
00:10:17.800Guys, this is something that I do every single day.
00:10:21.020And it's really, really crucial that you begin to know yourself.
00:10:25.300If you can't know yourself and know what you're after and know what you want to accomplish and know what scares you and know what freaks you out and know what excites you, then really nothing else matters.
00:10:38.500I've made some posts over the past several weeks on social media.
00:10:42.300And one of the often trends that I hear or comments that I hear is you just need to know Jesus.
00:10:52.280And while I can agree with a sentiment, I think important, maybe not more important, maybe, I don't know.
00:11:01.560I'll let you guys decide that for yourself.
00:11:04.560You know, when people say, all you need is Jesus, I don't actually believe that's true because Jesus put 8 billion people on the planet as of today.
00:11:14.920And there's opportunities to learn and grow and develop from those 8 billion people.
00:11:22.920If Jesus was all-knowing, why did he need disciples?
00:11:25.940If he knew everything there was to learn, why did he need the 12 disciples?
00:11:33.020It's because we're meant to learn from other people.
00:11:37.020We're meant to expose ourself to new information.
00:11:40.620We're meant to get information that challenges us and pushes us in a way that maybe we just couldn't do on our own.
00:11:48.520If Jesus, from a spiritual perspective, is the epitome of masculinity and manliness and all-knowing omnipotence, why did he have 12 disciples?
00:12:10.360He needed to not only serve, but be presented with opportunities to learn.
00:12:18.520And I want you to really, really consider what you can do to learn in your life in those four realms.
00:12:25.300Again, calibration, mental, spiritual, emotional, connection, relationships with others, condition, your own physical health, and then contribution, your ability to become a man of value.
00:12:40.580There are a lot of people who are impacted by the decisions you're making.
00:12:44.700And I think it's very important to not only understand for yourself, and that's where the identify process comes in, but point number two is to be able to articulate where you're coming from with other people.
00:12:57.900I've seen a lot of guys who have very clear ideas about what they want to accomplish in life, and yet they're unwilling or unable to communicate that with other people.
00:13:08.960The problem is, is that everybody else has ideas.
00:13:14.200They have their own self-interest at heart.
00:13:16.760And that's not to be devious or deceitful towards you, but everybody is selfish, yourself, myself included.
00:13:25.540And if we can't clearly articulate what it is that we're after and what it is that we're trying to accomplish with other people, then we can't be upset when they aren't willing to get on board.
00:13:44.740But your wife isn't obligated to believe in you.
00:13:47.440Your kids are not obligated to believe in you.
00:13:49.980Your family and friends and closest people in your circle are not obligated to believe in you.
00:13:56.420They believe in you to the extent that, number one, you've communicated what you're trying to do, and number two, you've met that expectation.
00:14:03.960If you have not met their expectation, then you are falling lower on the totem pole of hierarchy of credibility, trust, influence, and authority.
00:14:21.340Unless you can clearly articulate what it is you're trying to accomplish with the people who will be impacted directly by the decisions that you're going to be making, you can't hold them accountable to standing by you.
00:14:38.800Now, if I tell somebody, here's what I'm going to do, here's how I'm going to do it, and then I start working towards that objective, and people see the growth and the progress and the evolution and the results, and they decide to leave anyways, and some people will.
00:15:00.320But if I've identified what I want, and point number two, I've articulated what it is I'm trying to accomplish, and people decide to leave, and they will.
00:15:13.400If they decide to leave, that's no longer on my shoulders.
00:15:17.140But if I've done those things, then I have an expectation of the people, romantic, platonic, and otherwise, to stand by me.
00:15:26.360And not only stand by me, but to support me, to uplift me, to edify me, to call me on my bullcrap when I'm not doing what I said I would be doing.
00:15:41.420If they can't do that, then we don't have the right people in our corner.
00:15:46.060And that might mean that we gradually let these people out of our lives.
00:15:50.000That might mean that we make abrupt changes when it's appropriate.
00:15:53.640And that might mean we need to have some very hard, come-to-Jesus-type conversations with other people that we thought were in our corner who aren't.
00:16:03.840So if point number one is to identify what it is we want to accomplish, point number two is to articulate it to those who will be impacted by it.
00:16:11.640If I have clients, for example, who, and I'm going back to my financial planning days, who I want to pick up as clients and I want to serve them and build their financial plans, then it's up to me to explain and articulate what it is I want to do.
00:16:28.260I had a very, very, very, very clear conversation with the woman that I'm dating.
00:16:36.460This was months, maybe four, three, four months ago.
00:16:40.140And we had been dating and I decided that this is a woman who I want to date exclusively.
00:17:10.360I know that there's other opportunities for me to date and go on dates and see other people, but I'm interested in you.
00:17:16.680And it doesn't feel right at this point for me to go on other dates when I know if I were to go on those other dates, I would be thinking about you.
00:18:46.040And I'm talking about, obviously, in this romantic context.
00:18:48.820But with clients, how many of you are unwilling to ask for the sale?
00:18:54.260The number one reason clients, or excuse me, people, salespeople, whoever that is, don't get the sale through surveys and through the data is because they haven't asked for the sale.
00:19:09.680You guys just aren't deliberate enough.
00:21:05.620You need to get your physical alignment in check and in order, and unless you can bring in all of these external resources to help you stay congruent to who you want to be, you're going to have a very difficult time doing so.
00:21:18.500I don't buy into this red pill, MGTOW bullshit, and I don't because,
00:21:24.040it promotes, whether it's intended or not, it promotes the idea that men are supposed to go their own way.
00:21:32.860I wrote a book called Sovereignty, and yet the guy who wrote a book called Sovereignty that guys like Jordan Peterson and other people have based some of their information and talks on,
00:21:43.700if a guy like that is telling you that not only is it about going your own way, it's about enlisting other people to support you in that mission,
00:21:51.960I don't know what else I can tell you.
00:26:51.720And hopefully some other boat that's passing by in the direction they want to go pick them up.
00:26:56.420It's no longer my responsibility though.
00:26:58.400And so I'm going to align myself with people, platonic and romantic relationships that are going to help me move in the direction I want to go.
00:27:10.780And when those boundaries are stepped over and stepped across, I'm going to communicate, right?
00:27:16.140And that comes back to point number two is articulate.
00:27:38.620But if we're aligned, cool, that's fine.
00:27:40.440Let's make sure we get back in alignment and make sure we're rowing towards the same destination.
00:27:45.860Guys, we have to be intentional in everything that we do.
00:27:50.720And I would say this as we part and we close out today.
00:27:53.360If you can't be intentional about it, don't do it.
00:27:58.000If you're going to be flippant and casual and random and just kind of willy-nilly about it, just don't do it.
00:28:06.780Do something else that you can be more intentional about.
00:28:10.340A lot of the times people will listen to this podcast or other podcasts and think that they have to engage in all the same hobbies and activities that I do in order to be a quote-unquote man.
00:28:48.020Have you articulated those desires with other people?
00:28:51.580Have you enlisted the right tools, resources, and people in your corner to make that a reality?
00:28:55.860And then have you aligned yourself with the people who are going to move you in the right direction and distance yourself from the people who won't.