Order of Man - In the Trenches 002 ｜ Chris Gachko

00:00:00.040 Gentlemen, welcome to In the Trenches, an Order of Man podcast dedicated to interviewing

00:00:04.360 ordinary, everyday men like you and me who are currently in the battle of becoming better

00:00:08.840 men.

00:00:09.460 You'll hear the good, the bad, and the ugly from guys who are striving to become stronger

00:00:13.680 husbands, fathers, business owners, and community leaders.

00:00:17.560 It's our mission to deliver the stories that will inspire you to become the man you are

00:00:21.620 meant to be.

00:00:22.320 Your host for this podcast is a man who is not only in the trenches, but has drastically

00:00:26.920 changed his life for the better over the past two years.

00:00:29.260 Here's Mr. Bubba Downs.

00:00:32.960 All right.

00:00:33.780 What's going on, guys?

00:00:34.840 Bubba here.

00:00:35.520 Got my first guest today, Mr. Chris Gatchko.

00:00:39.220 Chris, what's going on, brother?

00:00:40.940 Good morning, my friend.

00:00:42.020 How are you?

00:00:42.840 Living the dream, but doing the math, man.

00:00:45.740 All right.

00:00:46.040 So, Chris, tell us a little bit about yourself, man.

00:00:48.980 So, I am kind of getting started on a lot of things really late in life.

00:00:53.740 I'm 43 years old.

00:00:55.060 I just started my own sales consulting business in the middle of 2017.

00:01:00.640 I just started my family towards the end of 2017.

00:01:04.120 I have a five-month-old son.

00:01:05.760 My wife and I are going on five years of marriage this year.

00:01:09.720 That's it.

00:01:10.480 That's literally my dream.

00:01:11.760 I did a lot of the things that a lot of people do for a very long time.

00:01:17.460 I worked the nine-to-five.

00:01:18.980 I sat in the car for an hour and a half on a commute.

00:01:22.100 I currently live in New Jersey.

00:01:23.280 I was born and raised here.

00:01:24.500 I lived in Virginia for a little more than a decade as well, right outside of D.C.

00:01:28.100 So, two very metropolitan areas.

00:01:32.280 I'm right outside New York City right now.

00:01:34.120 And then I lived right outside Washington, D.C. for a spell as well.

00:01:38.080 So, that's really my fun and exciting life.

00:01:40.860 And in regards to Order of Man and Iron Council, I've been in the Iron Council for two years.

00:01:47.880 This month, February, I started out just like everybody else does.

00:01:52.780 And it's kind of grown into being a little bit more.

00:01:56.380 I'm currently a battle team leader in the Iron Council.

00:01:59.640 I'm a battle team leader mentor for the IC, which means that when new battle team leaders are promoted into the positions,

00:02:09.360 I'm one of four people that they get paired with to make sure that they're on the up and up.

00:02:13.760 I was the curator of the book club until this month.

00:02:17.440 We actually have a book club every month that kind of goes with our monthly topic.

00:02:20.860 And I kind of ran that for the Iron Council.

00:02:23.560 I just actually turned over the reins starting in March.

00:02:26.300 Somebody else will be doing that.

00:02:28.200 And for Order of Man, I actually have a slightly larger role as well.

00:02:31.700 I'm the director of special events for Order of Man.

00:02:35.120 So, I take care of planning and setting up the live events for Order of Man.

00:02:41.460 So, for those of you that follow, my first event was the meetup that was in Nashville, Tennessee recently.

00:02:45.820 And we'll be looking at doing another one in July as well with the location West Coast to be determined.

00:02:53.040 Right on, man.

00:02:53.780 So, that kind of brings up my first question.

00:02:56.340 How did you get started on this journey?

00:02:58.600 It's interesting because it's actually a path that quite a few people in the Iron Council followed.

00:03:05.600 You know, for me personally, I'm a liar. 0.97

00:03:08.640 I'm a liar. 0.97

00:03:09.500 We just got to kind of get that out there.

00:03:11.420 I lie to myself quite a bit and, you know, that naturally goes into others.

00:03:16.680 And I tell stories to try to cover myself and make myself seem better and things like that.

00:03:23.280 And that was a terrible pattern that I had fallen into.

00:03:26.140 And I had fallen into it again with my marriage.

00:03:28.460 And it became very overwhelming.

00:03:30.420 And I finally kind of let everything out in a very made-for-TV dramatic moment.

00:03:37.460 And it really wasn't that.

00:03:38.940 It was pretty nasty.

00:03:40.900 It was not good.

00:03:42.180 It was a bad look. 0.95

00:03:44.180 I just knew that I needed something to kind of help me get my shit straight. 0.89

00:03:48.140 I needed to get steered in the direction that I did not have the kind of support in my own personal life where I could do that. 0.95

00:03:57.840 My wife was my support.

00:03:59.140 But let's face it.

00:04:00.600 As a man, it's kind of hard to kind of take advice from your wife and, like, listen to your wife tell you what to do.

00:04:06.920 Yeah, absolutely.

00:04:07.340 It's not the easiest place.

00:04:08.520 You know, it's not the easiest place to do that.

00:04:10.160 So I found an online mastermind from some people that I followed online.

00:04:19.060 And I joined that.

00:04:20.420 And through that mastermind, I came across Ryan, who was actually in that mastermind as well.

00:04:26.440 And I came across him and his group, Order of Man, Iron Council.

00:04:31.180 And I joined it at that time.

00:04:33.920 And I was in both masterminds for a while.

00:04:35.980 And, you know, one of the things that you find out when we talk about, like, the Iron Council or some of these other ones is that you got to find one that fits.

00:04:42.480 It's just like anything.

00:04:43.480 It's just like a job.

00:04:44.700 It's just like a therapist.

00:04:45.760 It's just like a mastermind.

00:04:47.420 It's just like hiring a coach.

00:04:49.000 Just because somebody is a successful business coach doesn't mean they're a successful business coach for you.

00:04:53.900 You know, you got to find someone that works in your style and whatnot.

00:04:56.620 And that first mastermind didn't work in my style.

00:05:00.660 The Iron Council did.

00:05:02.080 So I ended up kind of sticking with it and staying with it.

00:05:04.280 So, you know, my journey was definitely one of, you know, feeling like I was kind of getting close to the bottom.

00:05:11.120 And then I was very, very fortunate to kind of come across Ryan in Order of Man and Iron Council when I did.

00:05:17.680 Yeah.

00:05:18.060 So you touched on something there that I thought was kind of important.

00:05:20.720 You said that a successful business coach might not be a successful business coach for you.

00:05:25.280 And that's one of the things that I think is really powerful about what we're doing is because you don't just have one business coach.

00:05:31.880 Yeah.

00:05:32.120 I mean, and it's interesting because, you know, everybody thinks that it's like snake oil, like all these coaches and all that.

00:05:41.640 And, I mean, on some level, I understand the skepticism.

00:05:44.020 There are so many people out there trying to do things like Order of Man, the Iron Council.

00:05:53.180 And people are skeptical.

00:05:54.900 People get nervous about, you know, oh, why would I spend money for doing the things that I need to do?

00:06:01.200 Well, because you're not doing the things you need to do when you have the ability to do them for free.

00:06:05.820 Like, it's so like that when I hear that question, it's so obvious the answer.

00:06:10.320 The number of people that have the motivation to do these things on their own, most of those people don't need the coaches, don't need the masterminds, don't need everything else because they're, quote unquote, doing it on their own.

00:06:22.440 You know, other people need that little bit of push, need that motivation, need to be able to kind of be put in a structure that works for them.

00:06:29.920 So, you know, when people ask me about Iron Council, I don't sell it.

00:06:35.100 I don't push it.

00:06:35.980 I tell them this is what it does and it works for me.

00:06:38.740 Right.

00:06:38.860 You know, I, great example, side example.

00:06:42.740 I run, I run half marathons.

00:06:44.620 I've run 18 mile races.

00:06:46.360 Like, I've done things like that.

00:06:48.040 And for a very long time, I was doing them in barefoot shoes.

00:06:50.260 It was like toe shoes.

00:06:51.760 People would be like, wow, those are awesome, really great, blah, blah, blah.

00:06:54.840 Guess what, man?

00:06:55.560 They're not for everybody.

00:06:56.660 They were for me.

00:06:57.680 I would never tell anybody to buy those because it took me six months to transition into them.

00:07:01.540 There's a whole process to do that.

00:07:03.020 People are just like, oh, I want great shoes.

00:07:04.920 It has nothing to do with that, man.

00:07:06.120 You got to find the shoes that are right for you.

00:07:07.600 What kind of shoes should I run in?

00:07:09.220 75 people give suggestions.

00:07:10.700 Oh, I love these Nikes.

00:07:11.880 Oh, I love these Sockneys.

00:07:13.480 Listen, man, go to a store.

00:07:15.340 Talk to a professional.

00:07:16.400 Find the ones that work for you and wear them.

00:07:18.400 That's it.

00:07:19.460 You know?

00:07:19.860 So, like, you got to find the thing that works for you.

00:07:22.740 So, for me, Iron Council works great.

00:07:25.320 For other people, there might be some other coaching and things that work great for them.

00:07:28.480 You just got to find the one that's right for you.

00:07:30.280 Absolutely. 0.95

00:07:31.040 So, you said earlier that you were a liar.

00:07:33.360 That kind of brings me to one of my questions, which is, what are some of the biggest hurdles that you've overcome?

00:07:38.040 For me, you know, it's not the easiest to talk about.

00:07:42.260 But, you know, I have been much more honest in my life and my relationships.

00:07:50.060 And it hasn't been perfect.

00:07:51.220 I'm not batting a thousand.

00:07:53.380 But in real major things, I'm much more forthcoming and straightforward with the things that I talk about and what I do.

00:08:00.080 And that's big for me.

00:08:02.040 I still have some struggles.

00:08:03.880 You know?

00:08:04.100 It's not like you join the Iron Council and everything goes away.

00:08:07.480 Like, it's a lot of hard work.

00:08:08.800 And I still have to do everything that I'm doing.

00:08:12.240 It's just a community that helps me do that.

00:08:14.940 You know, I still, business-wise, I overcame some major hurdles.

00:08:19.420 I was really in a rut from a professional standpoint.

00:08:23.660 And it's really kind of pushed me to a level where I'm at a point now where I'm creating my own business based on my expertise.

00:08:30.560 And that's a huge, huge change.

00:08:33.320 I was very much that person that played it safe and just took the next corporate job and took the next corporate job.

00:08:38.740 And that really was holding me back.

00:08:41.320 It was a lot of strain on me mentally, emotionally.

00:08:45.880 Working in the hospitality industry is not nice.

00:08:48.540 It's not a pleasant industry to be in.

00:08:51.660 It's definitely cutthroat.

00:08:53.700 Anybody that's worked in hotels or restaurants kind of understands how that goes.

00:08:58.140 But this has given me a huge opportunity to be able to be more present in my life, in my family, with my new son, with my wife even more.

00:09:07.640 So in that sense, it really has.

00:09:09.420 And at some levels, it saved my marriage.

00:09:11.140 You know, we were heading down a pretty dark path, I think.

00:09:16.060 You know, in the first couple of years that we were married, you know, we were just not heading in the direction that happy newlyweds should have been going. 0.99

00:09:23.240 And, you know, we got our shit together. 0.97

00:09:25.940 And, you know, so in those ways it is. 0.99

00:09:28.140 Because I've been able to – there's still some areas I need to work on.

00:09:33.680 There always is, man.

00:09:34.260 I still haven't gotten over the – huh?

00:09:35.800 There always is, brother.

00:09:37.540 You know, still haven't gotten over the diet hurdle yet.

00:09:40.300 You know, I'm still really struggling with that.

00:09:42.460 I'm not where I used to be.

00:09:44.200 You know, I used to be, you know, almost 370 pounds.

00:09:47.340 I'm not there yet.

00:09:48.720 I'm not close to that, which is good.

00:09:50.380 But I haven't consistently been moving down to the other end either.

00:09:53.140 So, you know, I've been maintaining kind of in the same spot for a little while, and I need to kind of get that back into gear. 0.63

00:09:59.540 But I know I have the support and the resources here once I can get my shit straight in my head that I can do that.

00:10:07.200 So, you know, that kind of brings me to my next question is what are some milestones that you've made?

00:10:13.900 Well, I think the biggest one is starting my family because if we hadn't gotten our stuff straight,

00:10:23.140 as a married couple, like, I wouldn't have started my family.

00:10:26.640 Like, it just wouldn't have existed.

00:10:27.920 So I think that's huge.

00:10:29.980 I think the ability to start my own business was another one.

00:10:33.380 You know, I'm still kind of in the beginning stages of kind of getting this squared away.

00:10:36.660 But being able to be surrounded by so many different resources to allow me to do this

00:10:40.980 and to help me understand that I can do – that this is something that I can accomplish has been huge.

00:10:46.920 So I think understanding my ability to be able to – this is going to sound so, like, overdramatic – to be something, to be somebody,

00:10:57.280 to be someone that people can kind of look to.

00:11:01.920 You know, the term that you hear a lot in the Iron Council, the lighthouse.

00:11:06.400 Right.

00:11:06.980 You know, that's something that's uncomfortable for a lot of people to understand how to do that.

00:11:11.020 Everybody wants to be the tugboat, which is the example, lighthouse versus tugboat.

00:11:14.760 Everybody wants to be the tugboat, the one that has to rescue everyone,

00:11:17.640 as opposed to being that lighthouse that just does and lets everybody kind of gravitate towards that.

00:11:22.440 Being able to be a team leader, being able to be a mentor, to be a team leader,

00:11:25.960 being able to be someone that Ryan has entrusted to be able to do these live events,

00:11:32.600 you know, to put together these live events for him.

00:11:34.820 You know, that's a big responsibility, and I take that responsibility very, very seriously.

00:11:39.440 And knowing that that responsibility falls on my shoulders for my battle team,

00:11:45.060 for the team leaders that come on that I'm mentoring,

00:11:48.040 and then the people that are coming to these events,

00:11:50.120 knowing that hopefully they're going to come out changed in some way.

00:11:53.600 Knowing that I have the ability to affect people in that way has been a huge change.

00:11:59.280 And a lot of people talk about, oh, my marriage is better, my workouts are better,

00:12:02.320 my home life is better, great.

00:12:05.040 But I mean, for me, like, just to be just knowing the kind of leader that I can be

00:12:09.880 and the kind of man that I can be in my community, in my home, and in myself

00:12:13.560 has been one of the biggest changes I've seen as well.

00:12:16.860 Nice, nice.

00:12:18.360 All right, what advice would you give some of these guys

00:12:20.200 that are just now starting this journey to better themselves?

00:12:24.900 The biggest thing is don't be skeptical and don't think there's a magic pill.

00:12:30.380 Don't go in and question everything and feel like that you're the outlier that's different.

00:12:37.740 You're not.

00:12:39.040 You're not.

00:12:40.340 You are not special.

00:12:41.540 I guarantee you whatever you're going through.

00:12:44.120 Like, I guarantee you that if you come into the Iron Council,

00:12:48.420 someone's gone through what you're going through.

00:12:50.460 You're not special.

00:12:51.500 You're not unique.

00:12:53.160 And, you know, there are unicorns out there.

00:12:57.900 They're one in a billion.

00:12:58.860 And if you come in, there's going to be people that are in the same career as you,

00:13:03.700 that are in the same place in their marriage as you,

00:13:05.700 that are in the same place physically as you,

00:13:07.640 that are in the same place emotionally as you.

00:13:10.080 There are people that you can connect with that can relate to you

00:13:13.120 and that you can kind of have a kinship with that can kind of help you through this.

00:13:16.720 And the other part is that don't walk in and, you know,

00:13:19.960 feel like that it's just going to be like,

00:13:21.780 oh, my God, I'm in the Iron Council.

00:13:23.100 I'm surrounded by these awesome guys.

00:13:24.460 Like, my life is better.

00:13:26.140 It's not, man.

00:13:26.740 Like, there's work that needs to be done.

00:13:28.880 There's an expectation for you that when you come in,

00:13:31.100 you're going to do X, Y, and Z within the first couple weeks that you're in.

00:13:36.140 Or that's it.

00:13:37.560 You're not just coming in.

00:13:38.720 It's not like, oh, I'm just going to hang out and talk to some guys.

00:13:41.380 Right.

00:13:41.600 That's not it, man.

00:13:42.260 And honestly, man, I think that goes for just about anything you do in life.

00:13:47.340 Mm-hmm.

00:13:47.640 You know, that's not just the Iron Council.

00:13:49.560 Say the Iron Council isn't a fit for you or you're not ready for that.

00:13:52.940 You know, that goes for anything in your life.

00:13:55.660 If you're going to step into it, get ready to do the work.

00:13:59.980 Yeah, absolutely.

00:14:01.260 And I mean, it's amazing.

00:14:03.740 And look, I said it earlier.

00:14:06.540 The Iron Council is not for everybody.

00:14:08.220 You come into the Iron Council and you're like, yo, man, like, I'm not really happy.

00:14:12.440 Like, this isn't what I wanted.

00:14:14.220 Okay.

00:14:15.140 I'll give you a great example.

00:14:16.600 There was, you know, there was a gentleman that came to Nashville.

00:14:20.700 And again, you know, it's very personal to me that I'm planning, you know, planning this stuff.

00:14:25.700 And I noticed that he was there on day one, but he wasn't there on day two.

00:14:29.580 It was bugging me for hours.

00:14:32.060 And I finally came to Ryan.

00:14:34.420 And I was like, you know, like, I can't get this out of my head.

00:14:37.480 Like, this is something that bothers me.

00:14:38.500 And he goes, oh, do you mean X?

00:14:40.480 And I said, yeah.

00:14:41.400 And he shares with me an email.

00:14:43.460 And basically, this guy did not expect it to be what it was.

00:14:46.880 He thought it was something completely different.

00:14:49.580 He thought it was a completely different type of event.

00:14:52.320 He's like, listen, like, I'm in a similar space as you.

00:14:56.300 I thought this was very specific to this type of event.

00:14:59.280 And it's not.

00:15:00.500 Like, but this type of event is things that I do professionally.

00:15:02.920 So, like, I almost feel like I shouldn't be there anymore because I'm not trying to, like, take trade secrets and do all this kind of stuff.

00:15:10.460 So, he just gracefully bowed out.

00:15:12.080 He was like, listen, I made a mistake.

00:15:13.300 It's my bad.

00:15:14.240 That's awesome.

00:15:14.780 And so, like, it's okay if it doesn't fit you.

00:15:19.920 That doesn't mean it's a terrible program.

00:15:21.560 It doesn't mean it's the worst thing in the world.

00:15:22.860 It just means it doesn't fit for you.

00:15:24.360 Find the one that fits for you.

00:15:25.560 There's plenty.

00:15:26.200 And honestly, you could talk to guys in the Iron Council and they'll probably help you because we've all been in a bunch of different ones.

00:15:32.260 So, that's the thing, man.

00:15:34.360 Like, don't be skeptical.

00:15:36.860 Don't think you're special and unique.

00:15:38.860 And make sure you're just prepared to do the work.

00:15:41.340 It's so cliche.

00:15:43.180 But that's the thing that people run into the most.

00:15:45.780 They're just like, oh, my God.

00:15:46.960 You mean I have to read a book?

00:15:48.440 Yeah, dude.

00:15:49.160 Like, the guy who runs this just wrote a book.

00:15:51.600 So, yes, you have to read his book.

00:15:53.400 It's kind of part of it.

00:15:54.660 Like, I mean, you know.

00:15:57.540 So, just those two things more than anything else.

00:16:00.800 You're not unique.

00:16:02.000 Don't be skeptical.

00:16:03.260 And be prepared to do the work.

00:16:05.340 Right on, man.

00:16:05.680 So, we're bumping up against time.

00:16:06.920 But I do want to ask you a question real quick.

00:16:09.220 If you can challenge these guys to do one thing this week, what would that one thing be?

00:16:15.000 Ooh.

00:16:16.560 Come on.

00:16:17.060 It's Bubba, man.

00:16:17.580 You know homework's coming.

00:16:19.280 No, I appreciate it.

00:16:21.040 What I would challenge anyone here listening to do.

00:16:23.660 And I'd love to actually see it in the Order of Man group page.

00:16:26.400 I'd love to hear it.

00:16:27.100 To be like, listen, man.

00:16:27.940 I heard the podcast and this is what I did.

00:16:30.000 I'd love you to reach out to one person who you would like to either coach or mentor you.

00:16:34.620 It doesn't matter who it is.

00:16:36.300 It doesn't matter what it is.

00:16:37.260 It can be an individual or it can be a mastermind group.

00:16:42.400 Reach out to someone to try to start to make your personal relationships better.

00:16:47.840 If there's somebody in your community that you respect, that you're like, I'd love you to be my mentor.

00:16:54.820 If there's someone you want to start working with, to be like, what do I need to do to hire you as a coach?

00:16:58.840 Even if it doesn't work out, take a step to start that conversation.

00:17:04.500 Find out more about the Iron Council.

00:17:06.480 Join the Iron Council.

00:17:07.640 Find another mastermind.

00:17:08.920 Find another coach.

00:17:10.000 Hire Ryan.

00:17:10.700 It doesn't matter.

00:17:11.240 Take that step to just try to advance yourself, whether it be personally, professionally, in your relationships, whatever.

00:17:18.440 Try to find a coach.

00:17:19.440 Try to find a mentor.

00:17:20.500 Try to find a mastermind.

00:17:21.480 That's my challenge to everybody listening.

00:17:23.200 That's powerful stuff, man.

00:17:24.800 You'd be surprised at how much that helps.

00:17:27.400 All right, gentlemen.

00:17:28.060 Well, we are, like I said, we're coming up against time.

00:17:29.960 Chris, thank you so much for being here, brother.

00:17:31.540 I really do appreciate you, man.

00:17:33.380 Appreciate you, brother.

00:17:34.340 Thank you.

00:17:34.840 Yes, sir.

00:17:35.320 All right, guys.

00:17:36.180 Do work.

00:17:37.060 Get results.

00:17:37.840 If you've been inspired by this conversation, we encourage you to learn more about the steps,

00:17:44.180 tools, strategy, and resources these men are using inside of our exclusive brotherhood,

00:17:48.340 the Iron Council.

00:17:49.600 The Iron Council is a band of brothers dedicated to leveling up their lives and committed to helping

00:17:53.800 you do the same.

00:17:54.940 You can learn more at orderofman.com slash inthetrenches.

00:17:58.400 Until next week, take action and become the man you are meant to be.

00:18:07.840 We'll be right back.

Order of Man - March 14, 2018

In the Trenches 002 ｜ Chris Gachko

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