Order of Man - Increasing Influence, Overcoming Overwhelm and Insecurity, and Filling Your Cup First

00:00:00.000 You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest. Embrace your fears and boldly chart your own path.

00:00:06.020 When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time. Every time.

00:00:10.480 You are not easily deterred or defeated. Rugged. Resilient. Strong.

00:00:15.500 This is your life. This is who you are. This is who you will become.

00:00:19.760 At the end of the day, and after all is said and done, you can call yourself a man.

00:00:25.300 Kip, what's up brother? Glad to be doing the AMA again.

00:00:28.380 AMA number six.

00:00:30.900 Man, we're cranking through them.

00:00:32.140 I know. We're getting on a roll here, I think.

00:00:34.300 I think they've been good. They've been really good. We got a lot of good feedback.

00:00:37.820 The most feedback that we got this week was on the, or last week I should say, was on the Megatron, Galvatron question or whatever it was.

00:00:47.720 And now you and I know what is the deal there, I guess.

00:00:52.800 And he was a gun.

00:00:54.080 He was a gun. Dude, that was so surprising to me. I'm like, why?

00:00:57.280 Why? Why would, just like you thought, why would he be a gun?

00:01:00.860 What I love about it is on the Order of Man Facebook group, there became a dialogue.

00:01:06.600 So someone posted on there and said, hey, Ryan and Kip, just so you know.

00:01:10.500 And he gave us the rundown.

00:01:12.220 And if you want to know, we're not going to give it away.

00:01:15.020 If you want to know the difference between those two people, then you have to go on the Facebook group and actually read for yourself.

00:01:20.740 But regardless, he gives us the insights.

00:01:23.520 And what was interesting about it is there ended up being a lot of philosophy around it, right?

00:01:28.460 So when someone came up with the idea of like, well, it's like a leader.

00:01:31.220 You end up providing and providing a service to those that work for you.

00:01:35.900 And that's why you're a gun.

00:01:36.820 Yeah, but he's the bad guy.

00:01:39.080 So he's not, he can't be like a great leader, right?

00:01:42.340 I don't know.

00:01:43.060 That's actually probably a really good question.

00:01:44.660 Does it mean that you're not a good leader if there's not moral behind what you're doing?

00:01:51.180 Yeah, I do think that.

00:01:52.140 I do think that.

00:01:53.040 I think you have leadership characteristics for sure.

00:01:55.480 No doubt.

00:01:56.160 You know, you could take some of the most horrific and evil men that ever existed.

00:02:00.340 Hitler, for example.

00:02:01.200 And certainly he displayed leadership characteristics, but if you're not, I don't know, that's a good, that's a good question.

00:02:09.800 We ought to pose that question just to the guys.

00:02:11.800 I mean, there's no doubt that a man like Hitler possessed leadership qualities.

00:02:16.880 No doubt, right?

00:02:18.720 But he didn't use that for productive outcomes for himself and the people he had a responsibility for, which is something we talk a lot about.

00:02:26.240 So maybe he was a leader, but there's more to it than that.

00:02:31.680 That's a good question.

00:02:33.000 And you would, you would also assume that if your quest was not morally good, that probably your leadership skills in regards to how you uplifted people that, that you, you were presiding over would also lack that good moral.

00:02:48.660 Yeah, I'm sure.

00:02:50.080 I mean, well, I think everybody inherently knows the difference between right and wrong.

00:02:54.360 But I also believe that it's very, very easy to be influenced and manipulated and, and you get into this situation where you begin to justify or rationalize your behavior.

00:03:05.400 Even something as horrific as killing human beings, innocent human beings, you begin to rationalize and justify that.

00:03:12.500 And then you have a leader at the top who's encouraging that behavior.

00:03:17.600 And I think it becomes that much easier.

00:03:19.160 It's really fascinating to me and maybe not fascinating, maybe that's not the right word, but how one individual can influence so many other people to do something that morally they know is horrific.

00:03:36.220 Yeah.

00:03:37.080 It's, it's an interesting philosophical thoughts and questions and debate that I've had in my head for sure.

00:03:43.320 Oh man.

00:03:44.120 Well, and you, you've, uh, what was the study where they, where they were having people like shock someone in another room?

00:03:50.060 Do you know what I'm talking about?

00:03:51.140 There's like a, there was a, uh, there was a study.

00:03:53.480 It was a, um, they did a, uh, a prison study and I don't know if this is the one you're alluding to and I'd have to look to the, to the specifics, but they took these volunteers for this study.

00:04:04.220 And they, I think it was a Stanford prison experiment.

00:04:08.280 I want to say, I could, I could be off, but they would, you're right.

00:04:11.360 They would make part of them were, were quote unquote prisoners.

00:04:13.780 And the others were the guards and the guards began to abuse the prisoners.

00:04:18.340 And if I understand correctly, they even knew that these weren't real prisoners.

00:04:22.780 It was an experiment.

00:04:24.120 And they began to allow that power to get to their head.

00:04:27.380 And they began to abuse these, these quote unquote prisoners, crazy stuff, man.

00:04:33.040 I don't know the, the one you're talking about though.

00:04:34.760 Is that different?

00:04:35.320 No, no, it is different.

00:04:36.780 There was another experiment where they had someone in another room and they, they set the precedence or the perception that you were kind of creaking this dial and you were shocking someone.

00:04:47.580 Oh yeah.

00:04:48.880 And, and originally it was like really minute or whatever.

00:04:51.720 And then they started giving them other justifications like, Hey, well, this is just part of the job and don't take it personal.

00:04:57.480 And, and how far people were willing to go and how many people were willing to like inflict pain for the sake of quote unquote, their role and responsibility or because, or they justified it.

00:05:11.240 Right.

00:05:11.360 Because, you know, my boss told me to, or whatever it was.

00:05:15.380 It's really frightening.

00:05:16.780 Actually.

00:05:17.220 It is scary.

00:05:18.420 It's really scary how weak we are.

00:05:20.780 I mean, really, that's what it comes down to.

00:05:22.560 You're, you're doing something that goes against your moral compass that's weak.

00:05:27.720 And I'm not saying I'm above that.

00:05:29.740 I just think humans are weak in general.

00:05:32.800 And so we have to find ways to fortify ourselves against those evils and against doing the things that we know are wrong.

00:05:39.460 How do we do that?

00:05:40.580 Well, we, we surround ourselves with good information.

00:05:42.820 We surround ourselves with the right people.

00:05:44.940 And we continue to remind ourselves through the knowledge and information and the people and the experiences that we're having of the track that we want to be on, not the track that maybe somebody else wants us to, to travel.

00:05:58.280 Totally.

00:05:58.880 And what's crazy is that's the default.

00:06:01.820 So if we're not being intentional, guess what the default is?

00:06:05.100 Sure.

00:06:05.280 Yeah.

00:06:05.560 And that's what we talk about when we talk about the natural man, right?

00:06:08.700 He's lazy.

00:06:09.620 He's immediate gratification.

00:06:11.140 He'll lie.

00:06:11.640 He'll cheat.

00:06:12.040 He'll steal.

00:06:12.880 He wants everything.

00:06:13.880 Now he wants it without doing the work.

00:06:16.560 That's naturally, that's, I think how we operate and we have to fight against that.

00:06:21.680 And we do that through all the things that we're talking about.

00:06:23.740 Interesting, really interesting stuff, man.

00:06:26.000 Yeah.

00:06:26.220 I don't know how that came from Megatron.

00:06:31.060 I don't know, but we got there.

00:06:32.880 The first question we got there.

00:06:34.460 Hey guys, if you're listening in and you're thinking, what the hell are these guys even talking about?

00:06:38.340 If you're new, this is a, ask me anything.

00:06:40.920 So every week, Kip and I, uh, we field questions from the Facebook group, from the podcast, from the, the, wherever, Instagram, Twitter, wherever you're, wherever you're connected with us.

00:06:51.600 We field your questions, our Patreon account, and, uh, we answer those questions here.

00:06:56.760 We had a backlog.

00:06:57.640 So I haven't been asking questions in the group lately because we had a backlog, like a set of questions and we're trying to get through all those.

00:07:04.460 So let's, let's crank through as many as we can today.

00:07:06.840 Yeah.

00:07:07.240 And I think we'll get through them.

00:07:08.660 One note really quick on that Megatron post that I really liked.

00:07:11.820 Oh my gosh.

00:07:12.380 You're still, you're still in the Megatron thing.

00:07:14.160 I know, but no, it's, it's somewhat related.

00:07:16.420 So the, the guy who posted it shared why he posted it and it was an inside joke that him and him and his son had.

00:07:25.060 Oh, is that right?

00:07:25.780 So, so they asked that question cause they listened to the podcast.

00:07:29.020 Oh, that's funny.

00:07:29.580 Cool.

00:07:29.840 And they wanted to hear the question answered.

00:07:31.300 So did they listen to the answer?

00:07:33.280 Yeah, they did.

00:07:34.020 That's cool.

00:07:34.300 Yeah.

00:07:34.460 So I really love that.

00:07:35.800 And I also glad that we didn't demonize dumb question.

00:07:41.260 Yeah.

00:07:42.080 The young man's like, Oh, this is my great question.

00:07:44.420 And then meanwhile, I'm maybe cursing.

00:07:46.520 Oh, that's good.

00:07:47.220 I'm glad we didn't do that.

00:07:48.660 Yeah.

00:07:48.960 I think it's cool that dads are listening with their sons.

00:07:51.660 I also get quite a few messages from guys who, in fact, I just got one last night that a, uh, that a guy is going to be listening to our Friday field note show with a group of men.

00:08:01.180 They're going to meet every Friday and they're going to discuss the previous Friday's podcast, which I thought was really cool.

00:08:08.600 And, and actually very humbling that people are listening to our words, which is kind of strange and cool at the same time.

00:08:17.160 It's awesome.

00:08:18.100 It is awesome.

00:08:19.120 It's really awesome.

00:08:20.100 We're making an impact, man.

00:08:21.080 All right.

00:08:21.240 What do we got?

00:08:22.140 All right.

00:08:22.440 Josh Hubler, his first question.

00:08:24.580 We're just going to dive right into the deep stuff here.

00:08:27.480 Letting go of a bad X.

00:08:31.180 Tough and it's tough, right?

00:08:33.700 You know, just the fact that he said it's a bad X, he knows that she's bad for whatever reason.

00:08:40.160 Maybe she's immoral.

00:08:41.240 Maybe, I don't know.

00:08:42.880 I don't know what the story is, but, but he is identified that she is not good for him, which doesn't make it any easier.

00:08:50.340 Wouldn't it be nice if it made it easier?

00:08:51.860 Like, like this woman is completely crazy and, and, and, and she's just not the one for me.

00:08:57.440 Wouldn't that be nice if it made it easier?

00:08:59.600 But it doesn't.

00:09:01.260 You still love the woman, right?

00:09:02.720 She's still, she's still attached to you in a way.

00:09:06.860 And so it becomes very difficult.

00:09:09.060 The only thing that I can say with letting go of a bad X is time and attention.

00:09:13.400 I mean, this is what I say to the guys when they're talking about overcoming breakups and relationships is time and attention.

00:09:19.480 Give yourself time.

00:09:20.260 It's going to take time.

00:09:21.560 You know, you've been with this woman.

00:09:22.680 She's had an impact in your life.

00:09:23.880 There may be other situations like kids, for example, that are in a situation.

00:09:27.040 You may have been together for a decade.

00:09:29.060 And so, yeah, it's, it's going to take some time.

00:09:31.760 And while you're giving yourself some time, focus your attention elsewhere, find friends, find a hobby, get in shape, do things that are going to distract you physically and mentally from consuming your mind with this woman.

00:09:47.140 Otherwise, allowing her to continue to be in your head and your, in your space is going to create some, some real problems.

00:09:52.800 So I say time and attention, uh, use this opportunity.

00:09:57.520 And it is very frankly, it is, especially if this is somebody who's not good for you, who's not healthy for you.

00:10:04.040 This is a powerful, powerful opportunity.

00:10:06.220 You've been given a second chance, if you will, to remake yourself.

00:10:11.160 And when I was going through my separation, when I started to turn things around, I looked at as an opportunity to rebuild myself and I gave myself a project.

00:10:20.720 And the project was me.

00:10:22.100 How could I improve my fitness?

00:10:23.380 How could I improve my, my knowledge, my intellect and wisdom?

00:10:27.160 How could I improve every facet of my life?

00:10:29.280 How could I improve my finances?

00:10:30.600 How could I become a better business owner and a better friend to the people that I had neglected for so many years?

00:10:36.040 And I gave myself that project.

00:10:37.720 And through the project of making me the project, I was able to distract myself enough that I was still productive and able to function.

00:10:44.880 And then, you know, life happens and another woman comes into your life and all is good.

00:10:50.840 Just takes time and attention though.

00:10:51.980 Ryan, how much of that attention do you think has to do with kind of maybe rebuilding some self-confidence?

00:10:59.300 I wonder how many guys have a hard time letting go of that bad ex because they don't think that there's light on the other side of the tunnel, right?

00:11:07.580 Well, I, yeah.

00:11:08.260 They can't find something better.

00:11:09.720 Or, yeah, well, I, I think, I think the problem is, is that a lot of the times we make our women the center of our universe.

00:11:18.540 And that's a problem because if you're wrapping your identity up in a woman and I'm, I'm talking about a girlfriend, I'm talking about even your wife.

00:11:27.640 If your identity is wrapped up in this woman, what happens when she's gone, whether it's a separation or a divorce or a breakup or heaven forbid she dies.

00:11:38.620 Or if she has a bad day.

00:11:40.500 Yeah.

00:11:40.960 Good, good point.

00:11:42.300 So if your identity is wrapped up in her, that creates a real problem.

00:11:46.880 It's not just her though.

00:11:47.900 If your identity is wrapped up in your work, if your identity is wrapped up in, you know, your, your profession or your physical appearance.

00:11:55.720 These are all situations that are not entirely within your control.

00:11:59.780 And the problem with making your identity wrapped up into things and people who are not within your control is those things change and there's nothing you can do about it.

00:12:08.420 And, and so when, when they go away or they fail you, like sometimes it happens, it has the greater potential to destroy you.

00:12:17.400 So you have to wrap up your identity in the things that you're doing, how you're behaving, the information that you have, how you show up for other people and the titles are less important in the way you're behaving.

00:12:30.220 So I think you bring up a really good point, Kip, about, uh, being, being wounded in a way or, or damaging that pride or that ego or forgetting who you are because you were so wrapped up in her.

00:12:42.000 This is why I tell guys, don't ditch your friends.

00:12:46.100 When you get into a relationship, don't ditch your friends.

00:12:49.600 I did that.

00:12:50.580 Every guy has done that because he wants to spend time with his woman, obviously, but don't ditch your friends.

00:12:55.940 It's, it's not a good idea.

00:12:58.300 Man, there's so much here, Josh boundaries, identity, you know, moving on and growing from yourself.

00:13:05.080 If I had to throw in one more thing, uh, if you haven't read the book, you know, no more, Mr. Nice guy.

00:13:10.440 It, it's solid.

00:13:11.960 And I think it, it lines exactly with what Ryan's saying as well.

00:13:16.580 Yeah.

00:13:17.000 Yep.

00:13:17.340 Absolutely.

00:13:17.800 Great book.

00:13:18.620 Cool.

00:13:18.920 What do we got next book?

00:13:20.020 All right.

00:13:21.220 Mark Reese, best ways to deal with a wife slash spouse who says that they are depressed and thinks negatively and, and entitled versus being appreciative and grateful for, uh, even after being help, helpful.

00:13:35.060 And fulfilling their love language.

00:13:36.600 So, yeah, I think I got that.

00:13:38.840 So depressed, negative.

00:13:41.640 And it sounds like in this example, he feels that, Hey, I I'm doing my job here.

00:13:46.700 I'm being helpful.

00:13:47.420 I'm fulfilling that love language.

00:13:48.560 And they're still, they're still being this way.

00:13:51.080 Yeah.

00:13:52.180 Conversations are big here.

00:13:53.480 Why is she behaving that way?

00:13:54.760 Is this, is this normal behavior for her or has this changed over time?

00:13:59.260 If it's changed, you've got to get to the root of the problem of, of why it's changed.

00:14:02.600 You know, I know, for example, um, postpartum is something a lot of women deal with.

00:14:06.440 And a lot of guys are asking about, you know, as their wives have their kids and they're depressed and down.

00:14:12.040 And my wife certainly went through that, uh, which was a challenge.

00:14:15.140 Or is this just typical behavior, right?

00:14:18.080 I think, I think at the end of the day, and I'm not an expert here, I'm really not.

00:14:23.120 But I, but I think at the end of the day, uh, these conversations are really going to

00:14:27.700 be a big help doing things that edify and uplift you guys, uh, allowing her to go out

00:14:33.000 and do the things that, that are engaging to her.

00:14:35.400 And I'm not, I'm not saying that she needs to ask you for permission.

00:14:38.300 Please don't misunderstand me.

00:14:39.960 But what I am saying is that you don't give her grief and you don't give her a hard time

00:14:43.960 and make her feel guilty about wanting to go out with her girlfriends or wanting to participate

00:14:47.700 in a hobby or an activity or something that's going to help her, you know, she just might

00:14:51.240 feel trapped.

00:14:52.280 My wife stays at home.

00:14:53.620 She doesn't work outside of the house.

00:14:54.960 And there's days that I know she feels trapped.

00:14:57.620 She loves being a homemaker.

00:14:59.100 She loves being a mother and being a wife and taking care of the home.

00:15:02.640 And she loves it with all of her heart.

00:15:04.400 That's all she's ever wanted to do.

00:15:06.260 And yet there are certain days that she just feels trapped.

00:15:09.220 And so I can recognize that and see that when she leaves the house and gets outside and

00:15:14.660 goes out with her girlfriends or her mom, and it goes to lunch or whatever it is that

00:15:18.580 she wants to do, she comes back feeling better and more uplifted.

00:15:22.100 There might be elements of that.

00:15:23.600 There might be elements of, uh, I don't, I don't know if it's mental illness necessarily,

00:15:28.760 but there might be some things that are, that are going on.

00:15:31.220 And so encouraging therapy and getting some professional medical help, maybe something that

00:15:37.420 you consider, uh, the love language.

00:15:39.900 He talks about fulfilling their love language.

00:15:42.380 Have her read that with you.

00:15:43.660 Have her go through that with you.

00:15:45.100 Talk with her.

00:15:45.680 Hey, are you getting what you need from me?

00:15:48.040 I think the more open you are with your communication and the more that you allow her to do things

00:15:53.480 that are going to uplift her.

00:15:54.680 Again, it's not about asking for permission.

00:15:56.060 It's just not making her feel guilty about it.

00:15:58.340 I think you're going to have a lot more luck with this.

00:15:59.980 That's hard.

00:16:00.560 That's really hard.

00:16:01.300 I haven't had to deal with this a whole lot in my life, which is fortunate, but I don't

00:16:06.460 have a, a very deep perspective on this since I haven't had to deal with it.

00:16:11.960 Yeah.

00:16:12.320 Yeah.

00:16:12.720 Right.

00:16:13.220 I think you're spot on though.

00:16:14.520 And in regards to communication being at the root of it and, and experimenting, right?

00:16:18.780 I mean, I think sometimes we, we've, I know I've read those love languages before, before

00:16:23.500 I actually read the book and I assumed that my love language was one thing, but after I

00:16:28.900 read the book, I was like, Oh, I was wrong.

00:16:30.400 Yeah.

00:16:30.800 Yeah.

00:16:30.840 So, so it might just be a little bit of experimentation mark in regards to what works, what doesn't

00:16:35.960 work and, and getting a third party into the conversation with a therapist in regards

00:16:40.840 to what's at the root of how she's feeling and, and what adjustments can you guys make

00:16:44.900 in your marriage to give her maybe a little bit of purpose and something to work towards.

00:16:49.140 And I will also say this Kip is we're recording this on a Thursday tomorrow.

00:16:55.440 I'm releasing a Friday field notes that actually covers this.

00:16:58.460 So as of the release of this product podcast, that will be last Friday.

00:17:04.140 That'll be last week's Friday field notes.

00:17:06.420 So it's been covered a little bit.

00:17:07.420 It's been covered there.

00:17:08.480 So go back to Friday and listen to the podcast titled, I can't remember what I titled it.

00:17:14.980 I think it's 20 tips to win with your wife or something along those lines.

00:17:20.360 So go back, listen to that.

00:17:22.520 There's 20 tips in there that cover a lot of the things that we're, we're addressing

00:17:27.560 right now that I think will be a big, big help.

00:17:29.960 Yeah.

00:17:30.440 Want to up your accountability, have your wife listen to it.

00:17:33.160 Yeah.

00:17:33.540 Oh, for sure.

00:17:34.360 And you know, I actually shared these tips that I'm referring to in the Facebook group

00:17:38.780 and a lot of guys resonated with that.

00:17:42.060 And a lot of guys actually shared it with their wives.

00:17:44.260 I got messages and every message that I got from guys who shared it with their wives,

00:17:48.900 their wives were like, yeah, that's spot on.

00:17:51.380 Spot on.

00:17:51.820 Yeah.

00:17:51.980 That's awesome.

00:17:52.620 Yeah.

00:17:53.080 Love it.

00:17:53.620 Cool.

00:17:53.820 What else?

00:17:54.600 Josh Hubler, dude, you got on the list twice.

00:17:57.440 Well played.

00:17:58.520 Man.

00:17:58.860 So his second question is giving up caffeine.

00:18:02.260 Yes.

00:18:04.700 Like give it up, do it.

00:18:07.320 I'm assuming it's coffee.

00:18:08.620 I imagine it's coffee.

00:18:09.560 It's always coffee.

00:18:10.400 I never understood the coffee.

00:18:11.360 I don't drink coffee.

00:18:12.700 I think it tastes gross.

00:18:13.660 It's gross.

00:18:14.600 I can't even stand the smell.

00:18:15.280 It's gross.

00:18:15.760 It doesn't taste good.

00:18:16.840 It's not good for you.

00:18:18.060 And people say, oh, it's good for my keto diet or would I put butter in it or MCT oil?

00:18:22.280 I'm like, dude, it's just, it's just covering up a turd.

00:18:24.980 Like, it's still not good for you.

00:18:28.860 Just give it up.

00:18:30.440 Understand why you want to give it up.

00:18:32.180 Maybe, maybe you don't have a strong enough reason to give it up.

00:18:35.000 I don't know.

00:18:35.720 What's your reason?

00:18:36.520 Figure that out.

00:18:37.540 I want to give it up because X, Y, and Z.

00:18:39.460 Cool.

00:18:39.660 Then tie your reasons for giving it up to that.

00:18:41.580 Replace it with something else.

00:18:42.660 Maybe it's water.

00:18:43.440 For me, it was water.

00:18:44.960 Just drink a ton of water and you won't even be thirsty or hungry because you're full on water.

00:18:49.880 My mom would say that when I was growing up.

00:18:51.400 I'd say, mom, I need something before I go to bed.

00:18:53.060 She's like, go have water.

00:18:55.140 And then you just get full on water and you don't want anything else.

00:18:57.920 I would say a lot of people don't, don't want to give up caffeine because they feel like they

00:19:01.920 need it for energy to that.

00:19:03.780 I would say, figure out a better way to sleep.

00:19:05.320 Like bust your ass all day long in meaningful and purposeful work, and then go to bed early,

00:19:12.420 wake up at the right time, give yourself enough sleep, keep your room dark, keep your room cool,

00:19:18.260 have a good mattress.

00:19:20.380 The more that the better that you can sleep, the better you're going to better you're going to

00:19:24.560 feel.

00:19:24.860 And also I would say that you need to get in shape.

00:19:27.780 And I don't know if Josh is in shape or not.

00:19:29.660 I'm just saying this as general advice.

00:19:31.980 You need to lose weight.

00:19:33.420 If you're 10, 20, 30, 40 pounds overweight, you need to lose that weight.

00:19:36.880 You need to get strong.

00:19:37.980 You need to get healthy because the more that you do, you, you won't need the pick me up

00:19:44.100 as much.

00:19:44.640 You'll have the energy because you're not carrying around.

00:19:47.020 Literally, man, I was carrying around a 45 pound plate around my essentially midsection

00:19:52.720 and around my neck.

00:19:54.600 And it was really interesting as I started to lose that 40, 50 pounds that I had, I picked

00:19:59.080 up one of those plates.

00:19:59.980 I'm like, holy crap, this thing's heavy.

00:20:01.980 A 45 pound plate.

00:20:03.220 No wonder I was tired.

00:20:04.540 I was carrying this around all day.

00:20:06.460 And then when I went to bed, it was laying on top of my lungs and my esophagus and my

00:20:12.900 body was fighting to get the air that it needed.

00:20:15.540 And so when you wake up in the morning, you're like, man, I'm exhausted.

00:20:18.280 Yeah, of course you are because you're not healthy and you're not sleeping right.

00:20:23.460 So you need the caffeine to wake you up.

00:20:25.680 You don't need it.

00:20:26.800 You don't need it.

00:20:27.920 You just need to live a healthier lifestyle.

00:20:29.480 Well, and some people think that caffeine doesn't affect their sleep, right?

00:20:34.160 I think Aubrey Marcus's book, you know, on the day he talks about, you know, if you take

00:20:38.580 caffeine past 2 p.m., you may still sleep.

00:20:41.840 And people think, oh, well, it doesn't affect my sleep.

00:20:43.880 I can have a coffee right before bed and I still sleep.

00:20:45.900 But the quality of sleep gets affected.

00:20:50.080 And so we got to be really careful.

00:20:51.260 Now, with that said, I'm a complete hypocrite.

00:20:54.580 I have so much caffeine in my house.

00:20:56.760 It's actually a really funny story.

00:20:59.100 But I did a project for a client and they had some sales issues or whatever.

00:21:04.640 And they owed me like a couple grand in professional services.

00:21:09.100 And I pinged him one day and said, hey, do you still have some of those caffeine chews?

00:21:15.680 He's like, what is it?

00:21:16.700 He's like, they're like caffeine, chocolate, caffeine chews.

00:21:20.200 And I'm like, do you still have those?

00:21:21.880 Because I use them as like maybe like a pre-workout.

00:21:25.040 Right.

00:21:25.640 And he's like, yeah.

00:21:26.360 I'm like, why don't you just pay me in product?

00:21:28.640 And he's like, well, how much?

00:21:29.920 And I'm like, how much you owe?

00:21:32.060 Yeah.

00:21:32.500 I have $2,000 worth of.

00:21:34.460 Do you really?

00:21:35.860 I do.

00:21:36.820 Oh, my gosh.

00:21:37.320 I'd be giving away like they're candy.

00:21:40.580 That's funny.

00:21:41.600 It's actually funny.

00:21:42.560 Well, I mean, we all know, right?

00:21:44.460 We all know.

00:21:45.820 You know.

00:21:46.940 Yeah, totally.

00:21:47.640 And yet we still – and I'm not saying you point – we all know.

00:21:51.020 I have a Diet Coke every once in a while and we know.

00:21:54.700 Yeah.

00:21:55.040 And we know what our limits are and when we're addicted to something.

00:21:57.520 You know, this has been in my past where I was pounding Mountain Dews as a programmer on a regular basis.

00:22:05.560 And then I realized I'm like, oh, my gosh.

00:22:07.000 I can't even stay awake halfway through the day without like constantly drinking something.

00:22:10.720 Yeah.

00:22:11.000 Yeah.

00:22:11.260 When you recognize that, that's definitely become a problem.

00:22:14.200 Yeah.

00:22:14.400 Good luck, Josh.

00:22:15.700 You got this.

00:22:17.380 That's your – the answer is like giving up caffeine.

00:22:19.900 Good luck.

00:22:21.120 Yeah.

00:22:21.560 Or actually, Josh, I'll just – I'll take advantage of you.

00:22:25.220 If you want some chews, I'll sell them to you.

00:22:27.060 He's like a dealer, man.

00:22:28.680 Yeah.

00:22:29.180 Like preying on people's addiction.

00:22:32.720 Don't worry about it, dude.

00:22:33.820 You need it.

00:22:34.500 Power up.

00:22:35.160 That's right.

00:22:37.100 All right.

00:22:37.620 Adam Seely.

00:22:37.840 All right.

00:22:38.000 What's next?

00:22:39.400 Proper debate etiquette.

00:22:40.660 A real man must know how to debate without losing one's cool, especially in this politically charged time.

00:22:47.500 What's your thoughts?

00:22:48.380 Well, my first thought is don't debate people who don't understand the rules of proper etiquette of debating.

00:22:56.720 Like that will say – that little rule, that little tidbit right there will save you so much time, energy, headache, and frustration.

00:23:03.960 And I have learned this the hard way over past four years of doing my business online and dealing with people on social media.

00:23:09.340 If somebody's not willing to engage in an intellectual, respectful debate, don't debate them because there's no winning in that.

00:23:18.060 There's no coming out on top.

00:23:21.200 Now, certain people, they like to debate for the sake of debate and they can keep their cool because they understand this is not personal.

00:23:27.180 This is just an opportunity.

00:23:28.400 I have a friend who growing up, he just loved to debate and so did I.

00:23:32.800 And so we would have some very powerful discussions about who knows what without losing our cool and without making it personal.

00:23:41.340 So I think rule number one is you got to make sure that the person you're communicating with is willing to adhere to the boundaries as well.

00:23:50.780 And if they're not, there's no winning.

00:23:52.320 Just disengage.

00:23:53.400 There's no winning in that.

00:23:55.080 Outside of that, I think don't take things personally.

00:23:57.940 Don't make things personal.

00:24:00.400 Don't get into the personal attacks and things like that.

00:24:03.280 And if somebody disagrees with you, it doesn't mean they don't like you or it's not personal.

00:24:09.660 What's the quote, never let me make the vulgar mistake of believing that every time I'm contradicted, I'm persecuted.

00:24:16.760 Something along those lines.

00:24:19.200 And so you've got to avoid taking things personally.

00:24:22.860 If you feel yourself getting heated and fired up, just disengage.

00:24:26.700 Like again, there's no winning.

00:24:28.960 What is the positive outcome that can come from being upset and frustrated and angry?

00:24:34.300 Nothing.

00:24:35.060 So just very simply disengage.

00:24:36.640 Know that the people that you're communicating with can respect those lines and those boundaries as well.

00:24:43.600 And also consider what is the point?

00:24:47.460 Why?

00:24:49.240 What's the point?

00:24:50.300 Are you debating with somebody because you're trying to win them over or because you're in front of an audience or because you're trying to expand your capacity?

00:24:57.940 I think there's some worthy reasons why you would debate, but then sometimes it's just an ego and an arrogance thing.

00:25:05.000 And in that case, just let it go.

00:25:07.060 Just find somebody else to talk with.

00:25:08.920 It just saves a ton of time and headache and frustration.

00:25:12.220 Yeah.

00:25:12.440 Remove your ego from the reason of the debate.

00:25:15.740 You know, a good friend of mine, Edward Simmons, he hooked me up with a book called Crucial Conversations.

00:25:20.320 Oh, it's a good book.

00:25:21.040 Dude, great book.

00:25:22.720 And really the premise I'm going to probably slaughter, but the premise of the book is unless there's common respect, trust, and motive is clear in a conversation, people go to the space of defending themselves.

00:25:37.900 So if they feel that you don't respect them or they can't trust you, guess what the psychology says?

00:25:44.860 They're not changing their mind.

00:25:46.440 Yeah.

00:25:46.620 It's not going to happen, right?

00:25:49.000 And so, you know, I would enter a debate based upon do those things exist, right?

00:25:54.260 Is there common respect for one another?

00:25:57.200 Is there trust?

00:25:58.460 And what is the motive?

00:25:59.640 And if those things are clear, then, man, it could be a huge benefit, right, to debate and understand.

00:26:05.340 And I think debate is also – I think it's twofold.

00:26:08.500 I think it's sharing one's feelings, but it's also trying to understand their perspective.

00:26:14.120 How amazing is it when you could debate with someone and go, man, I totally understand what you're saying.

00:26:19.760 Now, I may not agree, but I understand.

00:26:21.700 Like, I see your perspective.

00:26:23.980 And then you can walk away better off.

00:26:25.580 That's exactly right.

00:26:26.600 When you understand somebody else's perspective, it makes you a better human being because you have a greater capacity for information that you hadn't previously considered.

00:26:36.820 I think of – the guys I think of who are good at this is Jordan Peterson and Sam Harris.

00:26:42.440 Those two guys don't agree on everything.

00:26:46.520 They don't agree on a lot.

00:26:47.900 And yet, they're willing to engage in meaningful debate and conversation.

00:26:52.080 But like you said, and I think that's a good litmus, is the respect is there, the level of trust is there, and both of them are very, very clear on what the motive and the outcome is.

00:27:01.180 And so, it turns into a very fascinating discussion that allows thousands and thousands of people to see things in a new light they haven't previously considered.

00:27:10.460 Debate is very, very powerful when done correctly.

00:27:14.940 What else?

00:27:16.420 All right.

00:27:16.740 Zane Road.

00:27:17.780 So, his question is, out of the people that you have not met yet, who would you like to meet next?

00:27:22.760 And I'm assuming – maybe this is across the board or maybe even related to podcast interviews.

00:27:28.700 I don't know.

00:27:29.580 Yeah.

00:27:30.320 There's so many people that I want to meet.

00:27:32.780 There's so many fascinating people out there.

00:27:36.540 Sometimes when people say this, they ask dead or alive.

00:27:38.840 It doesn't matter.

00:27:39.680 And I'll just say deceased, like George Washington, Teddy Roosevelt.

00:27:42.680 Those are two historical figures that I would love, love to meet and have a conversation with and do a podcast with or something, you know.

00:27:51.600 But currently, I think Mike Rowe would be fascinating.

00:27:57.600 I think The Rock would be incredible.

00:28:01.080 Somebody I really admire and respect is Keanu Reeves, of all people.

00:28:05.080 I think he would be an amazing, amazing conversation.

00:28:08.300 I'm working on getting with David Goggins right now for an interview.

00:28:14.160 In fact, I'm communicating with his team right now.

00:28:17.380 Man, there's just so many fascinating people out there.

00:28:19.960 And I want to meet all of them.

00:28:21.220 And I want to have discussions with all of them.

00:28:23.200 And I want to ask every single one of them, what does it mean to be a man?

00:28:26.940 Because, gosh, there's just so much to be learned.

00:28:29.940 I want to meet everybody.

00:28:32.160 Who would you meet?

00:28:34.040 You know, I liked your list so far.

00:28:35.900 I mean, George – I mean, deceased people, George Washington just insanely inspires me.

00:28:40.620 I read a large book about him and it's just – I love the man.

00:28:44.920 Keanu Reeves, he's a stud, man.

00:28:46.680 I love to talk to him.

00:28:48.040 I love to talk to him.

00:28:49.160 That's one that a lot of people don't think about, but I think that would just be such a cool conversation and podcast.

00:28:55.760 Yeah, it would be cool.

00:28:57.380 Yeah.

00:28:57.660 I mean, there's tons of people.

00:28:59.500 You're good at coming off the hip with those ideas.

00:29:02.200 I'd have to think about it.

00:29:03.000 Well, it's not off the hip.

00:29:04.060 I mean, this is my job, right?

00:29:05.280 Like, I think about who do I want to have conversations with?

00:29:09.340 And, guys, if you have recommendations on podcast guests or connections to any of these individuals, shoot Kip or me a message and, you know, we'll figure it out.

00:29:22.060 We'll figure out a way to get these guys on the show.

00:29:25.720 Yeah.

00:29:26.020 Or hook us up with Keanu Reeves, man.

00:29:27.680 I want to roll with him.

00:29:28.620 You know he does –

00:29:29.380 He does?

00:29:29.800 He does jiu-jitsu.

00:29:30.300 Oh, I didn't know that.

00:29:31.340 Yeah, that's why he's even more of a stud.

00:29:33.040 Well, so I didn't know that.

00:29:35.340 But I know in training for his movies like John Wick, for example, you should see the guy handle a firearm.

00:29:43.180 He's absolutely unbelievable.

00:29:44.740 A lot of people just think, oh, this is a movie or what.

00:29:46.840 No, that's like legitimately – he is a master with a firearm and tactical shooting.

00:29:54.340 It's unbelievable.

00:29:55.300 Well, go watch the video.

00:29:56.080 It's crazy.

00:29:56.640 Oh, yeah.

00:29:58.200 Both movies, I love those movies because if you watch those movies, there's jiu-jitsu throughout those entire movies.

00:30:03.900 It's almost as though he figured out how to do tactical handgun training and jiu-jitsu at the same time.

00:30:10.380 It's unreal.

00:30:11.880 That's cool.

00:30:12.080 I think he's a purple belt actually in Brazilian jiu-jitsu.

00:30:15.380 You think you could take him?

00:30:17.440 Yeah.

00:30:18.060 I'm just joking.

00:30:18.780 Not if he has a gun.

00:30:20.460 That's true.

00:30:21.760 That's true.

00:30:22.380 I think you could take him.

00:30:23.180 He goes John Wick on him.

00:30:23.740 In jiu-jitsu alone, I think you could take him.

00:30:26.440 I don't know.

00:30:27.540 I would just love to roll a theme.

00:30:29.140 If you can take – if you can take me, you can take him.

00:30:33.120 Like there's – that's not true either.

00:30:36.560 Way to build yourself up.

00:30:37.920 That's right.

00:30:40.400 All right.

00:30:40.900 What's next, man?

00:30:42.160 Okay.

00:30:42.860 So Zane Rode, his – oh, we are – Zane, we already answered your question.

00:30:48.560 Azure heuristic.

00:30:51.200 That's an interesting one.

00:30:52.200 Would you say heuristic?

00:30:52.660 Maybe just – it might just be rustic.

00:30:56.340 I liked heuristic.

00:30:57.680 That's actually one of my favorite words.

00:30:59.200 Heuristic.

00:30:59.520 My wife hates the fact that I love that word.

00:31:01.940 We'll talk about it some other time.

00:31:03.220 Okay.

00:31:03.740 Okay.

00:31:04.260 Azure rustic.

00:31:05.940 Practical guides and tricks for managing being overwhelmed.

00:31:10.640 He says, I own a seasonal business, 90 days of insanity, and then zero.

00:31:15.700 And he's always fatigued after that period beyond recognition.

00:31:19.040 Well, that's part of life.

00:31:20.480 I mean, a lot of things are just seasons, right?

00:31:22.580 It's just – it's seasonal.

00:31:23.900 Go, go, go, go, go.

00:31:24.640 Stop.

00:31:24.960 Go, go, go, go, go.

00:31:25.600 Stop.

00:31:26.220 Now, what I would say is there might be some things within your business that you can do

00:31:29.820 ahead of time and spread out.

00:31:31.360 Maybe there's a level of preparedness that you can come with that will help alleviate

00:31:35.380 some of the insanity over the first 90 days of being in that seasonal type business.

00:31:39.820 Maybe your ducks aren't completely in a row.

00:31:43.740 I would also say that you bring on the right team.

00:31:47.440 If you have the right team and they understand your expectations – and I would also say

00:31:53.120 this.

00:31:53.900 There's a little term that we used in the military called commander's intent.

00:31:56.800 If your team knows what your intent is, essentially what you're giving them is the authority to

00:32:02.400 make decisions on your behalf without having to ask you because they understand what your

00:32:07.580 intent is.

00:32:08.400 And if your team understands what your intent is, you don't need to be everywhere in every

00:32:12.860 conversation and every little intricacy of the business because you're allowing your

00:32:18.460 team to do that.

00:32:19.240 Now, if you're hiring people that you don't know and you don't give them authority and you

00:32:23.880 don't delegate tasks and you don't give them the ability to make little even minor decisions

00:32:29.500 and you're inundated with making all of these decisions that you shouldn't be, you're going

00:32:33.580 to be overwhelmed.

00:32:34.740 So I would say find a way to spread out the things that can be spread out.

00:32:41.380 So those are done prior to the 90 days of insanity.

00:32:44.380 Have a good team.

00:32:46.120 Be a great leader and two books that I would definitely recommend for this is extreme ownership

00:32:52.740 and Jocko and Leif's new book called the dichotomy of leadership.

00:32:57.140 These are both amazing leadership books.

00:33:00.080 They talk about delegation.

00:33:01.920 They talk about commander's intent.

00:33:03.900 They talk about decentralized command, which is also along the lines of what we're talking

00:33:08.020 about.

00:33:08.720 And I think it will really, really help with some of the overwhelm because you're not having

00:33:13.200 to do it all.

00:33:14.240 You shouldn't do it all.

00:33:15.520 Go back.

00:33:16.240 In fact, go back and listen to the podcast I just did last week with Jocko Willink.

00:33:22.140 And he talks about him as a leader.

00:33:24.100 His goal is to do nothing.

00:33:26.860 That's, that's a fascinating thought, but as a leader, his goal is to do nothing.

00:33:32.300 And there was times during his military career and specifically his mobilization to Iraq,

00:33:38.040 where all he had to do is say, execute in his team would go and it freed him up to do higher

00:33:43.220 level things.

00:33:43.860 So go listen to that podcast, listen to those books and take those couple of tips and see

00:33:48.540 if that helps.

00:33:49.840 Yeah.

00:33:50.060 I think there's some opportunity there for some lessons learned.

00:33:53.120 And I think Azure, you might be tempted at the end of that insanity period to go, oh man,

00:34:00.080 I'm exhausted.

00:34:00.700 And you may not take advantage of the opportunity to say, okay, what's the after action review?

00:34:07.340 How did those 90 days go?

00:34:09.220 How could we have made it better?

00:34:10.520 And what sometimes happens is, you know, I'll use a permanent example.

00:34:13.400 I, I, I used to plan my week on Mondays and that was highly ineffective.

00:34:19.700 Why?

00:34:20.340 Because over the weekend I got disconnected from what was important.

00:34:24.800 And so I started doing my planning on Friday and it's really tempting on Friday to say,

00:34:29.980 man, it's 4 PM, 5 PM on Friday weekends here.

00:34:32.360 And you know, I want to relax, but if I'm, I'm able to stick with it just a little bit

00:34:36.900 longer, I can plan better for the following week, way better than, okay, now let me plan

00:34:42.900 really quick before this insanity starts again.

00:34:45.220 So I would, I would kind of suggest at the end of those 90 day insanity periods, you and

00:34:49.780 your team focus on what went well, what did not go well, what could we do better?

00:34:53.980 What adjustments, how do we reduce the, the overwhelming mentality?

00:34:57.980 And you do it before you take that break and, and make sure that it's well documented.

00:35:03.600 So then that way you can hit the ground running a little bit better the next time you ramp up.

00:35:07.600 I like it, man.

00:35:08.660 It makes total sense to me.

00:35:10.160 All right.

00:35:10.780 Christopher Bacon.

00:35:11.580 How do you, how do you, how do you, oh my goodness, I can't talk.

00:35:17.540 What are we going to do with you, man?

00:35:18.600 Do you need me to read this question?

00:35:20.180 Yeah.

00:35:20.440 Go ahead and read the question.

00:35:22.580 Uh, where, let's see, where are we at?

00:35:24.460 I'll answer.

00:35:25.200 You know, yeah, you want me to start.

00:35:27.560 And so it begins the takeover.

00:35:30.680 I swung that in.

00:35:32.280 That's funny.

00:35:33.460 No, now I'm not going to read it.

00:35:34.920 You read it.

00:35:37.900 Where are we at even?

00:35:38.840 I'm not reading this question.

00:35:39.920 We need someone else on the podcast.

00:35:41.100 Yeah.

00:35:41.440 Now nobody's going to start reading questions.

00:35:43.640 That's funny, man.

00:35:45.100 All right.

00:35:45.320 Let's have a third co-host.

00:35:49.080 His question is really, how do you make a distinction between relationships that need

00:35:53.080 work versus those that should end, especially with significance, uh, with significant others

00:35:58.780 and or friends?

00:35:59.600 I think, you know, I think you do.

00:36:01.460 I think if you're asking that question, you're probably getting closer to the relationship

00:36:05.000 that needs to end.

00:36:06.120 Uh, because it's hard, you know, it really is hard.

00:36:08.560 But if you're asking that, you're probably getting to that point.

00:36:10.820 I would definitely say that there's a line when it becomes dangerous and I'm talking about

00:36:16.240 abusive physically, mentally, emotionally, when it becomes abusive that way, it needs

00:36:20.180 to end.

00:36:20.560 If it's a struggle and it's a challenge and you guys are dealing with your own things

00:36:24.600 and, and it's just hard that, that to me is not abusive.

00:36:28.860 It's not dangerous.

00:36:29.740 It just needs something to be improved.

00:36:31.220 But when it gets to that point, I also think that there's gotta be some parameters.

00:36:34.780 You know, there's, there's gotta be some, some lines, Hey, I'm going to do this.

00:36:38.500 And I would like you to do this.

00:36:40.120 And if you don't see those changes being made and you feel like you're the one putting in

00:36:43.500 all the work and those changes aren't being made, then you need to really consider, uh,

00:36:48.220 maybe bringing an end to that relationship.

00:36:49.960 I'm always really hesitant about this, especially when it comes to relationships with, with your

00:36:54.580 spouse, with your significant other, because I think that union is powerful.

00:36:58.980 Uh, I think too many men throw in the towel too soon, gets a little challenging, gets a

00:37:02.900 little hard and so they throw up their hands and say, I'm done.

00:37:05.760 And, and especially when it comes to marriage, we made a commitment.

00:37:09.800 We made a commitment through thick and thin, right?

00:37:12.400 And, and for you just to throw in the towel because it got a little hard is a pretty weak

00:37:16.440 move and, and one that's revealing of your character, if that's the case.

00:37:21.100 Uh, but if it becomes abusive, um, if it hasn't changed over months and years and potentially

00:37:27.660 decades of trying new things and trying to put everything that you can into the relationship

00:37:32.380 and it just isn't happening, then it's, it's probably time to seriously contemplate that

00:37:38.980 with friends.

00:37:39.640 It's easy for me anyways.

00:37:41.200 And my wife and I were talking about this the other day.

00:37:42.860 We were talking about, I don't have a lot of close friends.

00:37:46.540 Uh, I, cause you're not funny.

00:37:48.220 That's, that's the reason.

00:37:50.240 That's the exact reason.

00:37:51.320 Thank you for pointing that out.

00:37:54.580 Now you would be funny if you sing that Garth Brooks song.

00:37:57.720 You're going to bring that up every podcast.

00:37:59.600 Uh, I'd be a river, baby.

00:38:04.820 Uh, yes, yes.

00:38:06.380 So I don't have a lot of close friends.

00:38:08.340 Uh, that doesn't bother me though.

00:38:10.280 It's not like I'm craving all of these like really close intimate relationships with, with

00:38:15.420 friends.

00:38:15.880 And I just, it doesn't bother me.

00:38:17.920 And when one relationship ends, I move on to the next and it's like, it doesn't, it's

00:38:22.420 not a thing for me.

00:38:23.660 And we were talking about why that is.

00:38:25.940 And, you know, we moved a lot when I was younger.

00:38:28.580 My dad was out of the picture.

00:38:29.960 I had a couple other stepdads come in.

00:38:31.860 And so like, I never really had this forming these connections.

00:38:35.460 So it just, I don't know.

00:38:36.840 I just, it just didn't work for me.

00:38:38.040 So like for me, friends are easy because friends come and go and, and I can look back fondly

00:38:43.780 on memories of friendships that are come and gone.

00:38:47.780 Um, but I don't like cling to those things.

00:38:50.980 So if, if the relationship becomes abusive or you're putting in all the effort and it's

00:38:56.380 not a two-way street, then with friends I'm gone.

00:38:59.440 It doesn't, it's not really a consideration for me, but I understand the significant other

00:39:03.240 is significantly harder.

00:39:04.700 Yeah.

00:39:05.160 And it's, it's tough sometimes to let go.

00:39:07.940 Yeah.

00:39:08.300 It's a little, there's a little bit of sadness.

00:39:10.080 I think sometimes.

00:39:11.180 Well, yeah, I mean, cause you have memories with this individual and you care about this

00:39:15.500 individual.

00:39:16.320 Um, and then it becomes harder with significant others.

00:39:18.480 If you have children in the mix, right?

00:39:21.080 There's a new consideration there and there's financial ramifications.

00:39:25.960 There's, there's all kinds of, all kinds of things.

00:39:28.720 So that's, that's definitely a challenge, which is why I think you owe it to you and you owe

00:39:32.320 it to your spouse.

00:39:32.900 And if kids are in the equation, then you owe it to them to really put forth a lot more effort

00:39:37.840 than maybe you've considered.

00:39:41.180 Yeah.

00:39:41.760 Cool.

00:39:42.320 All right.

00:39:42.860 Dusty Lucas, his questions around bow hunting.

00:39:45.240 He says, I assume you, you favor bow hunting over.

00:39:49.260 I don't know why that's, that reads weird.

00:39:51.420 Gun hunting.

00:39:52.320 Would you just say rifle hunting?

00:39:53.880 I don't know.

00:39:54.200 Well, yeah.

00:39:54.620 Or shotgun or I mean, yeah.

00:39:56.260 Yeah.

00:39:56.780 Yeah.

00:39:57.080 I, so I assume you favor bow hunting over gun hunting from the way you talk about it.

00:40:00.720 Why the bigger draw towards bow hunting?

00:40:02.380 That's a good pun.

00:40:03.160 Why the bigger draw towards bow hunting?

00:40:06.040 Um, I wonder if he meant that.

00:40:08.000 I don't know.

00:40:08.720 But even if he didn't, it was, it was well played.

00:40:11.380 Well played.

00:40:12.040 Yeah.

00:40:12.940 Uh, I don't care.

00:40:14.940 Well, no, I do care.

00:40:16.160 Uh, I, I like both.

00:40:17.440 I enjoy both.

00:40:18.220 I, I rifle hunt.

00:40:19.380 Um, I went on a turkey hunt with my shotgun earlier in the year.

00:40:23.500 I like both.

00:40:24.440 I like bow hunting because it's more challenging.

00:40:26.720 Bottom line.

00:40:27.280 It's just, it's just more challenging.

00:40:28.500 It's harder, you know?

00:40:30.160 And, and, and for me having the challenge of the bow and, and it's the other thing too,

00:40:34.600 it's a lot more intimate.

00:40:35.860 I actually feel like I'm hunting because you have to get closer and you have to be a little

00:40:40.880 bit more intimate with the animal and you can see the animal's eyes.

00:40:43.880 And I just feel a little bit closer to our ancestral primal roots when I'm out there with

00:40:51.920 a bow and a stick, essentially.

00:40:54.700 And granted, we have all kinds of new technology with the compound bows and everything else that

00:40:59.420 we're using.

00:41:00.060 And it's amazing to me when you think about the arrow, like all of our arrows are machined,

00:41:05.260 right?

00:41:05.600 And so they're, they're very specific and you know, the, the grams and the weight of the

00:41:10.060 arrow and you know, the, the, the fletchings and all of them are the same, but think about

00:41:15.540 how they used to hunt a hundred, 200, a thousand, 10,000 years ago, they would have to take sticks

00:41:22.500 and, and whittle them and get them smooth.

00:41:25.880 And then they'd have these rocks that they would carve into arrowheads and they're all different

00:41:29.760 kinds of weights and different shapes.

00:41:31.640 And they were accurate with them.

00:41:33.660 That's crazy to me.

00:41:34.920 Anyways, I just feel closer to being a man, if you will, when I'm hunting with a bow.

00:41:44.620 That's awesome.

00:41:46.320 I like them both.

00:41:47.560 I, I feel, yeah, I feel that I would want to bow hunt, but I can't even get a deer with

00:41:53.420 a rifle.

00:41:54.080 So, so maybe you should try a bow.

00:41:56.640 Baby steps, baby steps.

00:41:58.200 Why?

00:41:58.440 I can't even kill one with a, with a rifle a hundred yards away.

00:42:01.300 So I'm like, uh, a bow's not going to work out.

00:42:03.200 What do you mean?

00:42:03.620 Have you, have you been on some hunts where you haven't been able to hit, hit the deer

00:42:07.600 or what?

00:42:08.460 The last time, well, to be honest with you, I've never even pulled the trigger last couple

00:42:12.200 of hunts.

00:42:12.600 I'm like running around the mountain carrying a gun.

00:42:14.860 I'm like, this sucks.

00:42:16.280 So I need some skill.

00:42:18.240 I need some training.

00:42:19.120 I will say, well, that's, that's a good point.

00:42:20.800 You might, um, I will say that I'm new to hunting.

00:42:23.840 I only started hunting last year.

00:42:26.000 I'd never hunted before that.

00:42:27.400 So I've been on, uh, I've, I've killed two deer, uh, uh, uh, a sheep in Hawaii.

00:42:36.420 I just went into somebody's field and just took out with a grenade.

00:42:42.720 No, it was a black Hawaiian on, uh, Mauna Loa, which is in, on the big Island of Hawaii.

00:42:47.360 It was, it was awesome.

00:42:48.260 Um, a turkey.

00:42:52.660 And I think that's it.

00:42:54.060 See, I was, I was raised on a dairy farm and my dad was at, is a wild game butcher.

00:42:59.280 Oh, is that right?

00:43:00.240 Oh, you did tell me that.

00:43:01.300 Yeah.

00:43:01.520 So we never been, we never went hunting as kids because I think you said that.

00:43:05.340 Yeah.

00:43:05.720 We're always working.

00:43:06.620 Yeah.

00:43:07.100 Yeah.

00:43:07.380 You were, that was busy time for you guys.

00:43:09.540 Yeah.

00:43:10.000 Yeah.

00:43:10.200 So cool.

00:43:10.920 As an adult, right.

00:43:11.980 Next question.

00:43:12.640 JT Jordan.

00:43:14.020 Very cool question, by the way.

00:43:15.520 While I'm sure you know about Bushido, I'm curious how much have you studied it and to

00:43:20.700 what degree it might influence your overall philosophy of being a man?

00:43:23.940 Very quickly.

00:43:24.860 I know what Bushido is.

00:43:25.960 I have not studied it at all.

00:43:27.820 So that is something as you bring this up that I probably, probably should Bushido samurai

00:43:35.500 code, essentially.

00:43:36.580 Correct.

00:43:37.020 Yeah.

00:43:37.360 Yeah.

00:43:37.700 Codes and morals of samurai.

00:43:39.700 So I haven't, I haven't studied it at all.

00:43:42.580 I've, I've glossed over it, but, um, I'm actually going to write that

00:43:45.460 down because I think it would be cool to study that and look through that and see how

00:43:48.820 it maybe parallels my philosophy and of what it means to be a man.

00:43:53.960 So good.

00:43:54.540 That's a good question.

00:43:55.900 Yeah.

00:43:56.140 I bought the book mind over muscle.

00:43:58.360 Uh, the author was Kano and he is the founder, I believe of judokan and a lot of the philosophies

00:44:06.680 of the judokan is kind of based upon some of that Bushido as well.

00:44:12.280 It's really interesting stuff.

00:44:13.720 I'll have to check it out.

00:44:14.360 Yeah.

00:44:15.460 Cool.

00:44:16.660 All right.

00:44:17.480 Billy Joe.

00:44:18.720 I'm skipping your last name.

00:44:20.020 Billy Joe.

00:44:21.040 Trujillo.

00:44:21.660 I would say Trujillo.

00:44:23.340 Trujillo.

00:44:23.820 He's in the iron council.

00:44:25.360 Oh, let me see.

00:44:26.560 Come on.

00:44:26.940 Now you just made me feel guilty.

00:44:30.020 Did you want to read this?

00:44:31.160 Did you want to read this question?

00:44:33.160 No, you, you keep reading.

00:44:34.880 I'm not, I'm not letting you give that up, man.

00:44:37.800 All right, here we go.

00:44:38.860 Your thoughts on the campaign tower effect.

00:44:42.320 Champagne.

00:44:43.240 Champagne tower effect.

00:44:44.240 It was brought up by a member of team Oscar.

00:44:47.160 We are the top glass.

00:44:48.260 And before we can fill other cups of ours must be full.

00:44:51.780 How do you practice this in your life?

00:44:53.580 I don't, I don't, I never heard it referred to as the champagne tower effect.

00:44:57.560 I understand the, the analogy there.

00:45:01.400 We're the top glass before we can fill other cups.

00:45:03.640 We have to, it has to overflow essentially from our cup before it fills to others.

00:45:07.560 That, that's what I'm getting from this.

00:45:09.240 We're talking about like the poshie bunch of glasses stacked on top and you're filling

00:45:13.000 that first cup and it's shrinking down into the other ones.

00:45:15.140 Okay.

00:45:15.420 Yeah.

00:45:15.640 I assume I've never, like I said, I've never heard of it referred to as the champagne tower

00:45:19.420 effect.

00:45:19.780 Makes sense.

00:45:20.360 I like the analogy.

00:45:21.700 How do I, I agree with that.

00:45:23.600 I think you do have to fill up your cup.

00:45:25.220 I think too often we just give away all of our energy, all of our resources, every bit

00:45:29.800 of a time and attention and energy that we can.

00:45:32.440 And before you know it, we've completely exhausted our resources, which is fine.

00:45:36.360 As long as you have ways to fill up your, your resources again, but very few men actually

00:45:43.460 have this.

00:45:44.100 It's almost like, um, uh, self-sustaining energy, right?

00:45:48.500 What do they call renewable energy, right?

00:45:51.280 Like right now, a lot of guys are operating from a source of non-renewable energy, meaning

00:45:56.380 they give it away and it can't be renewed, but renewable energy is something different.

00:45:59.840 It means that you have plenty to give away because there's things that are happening

00:46:03.240 in your life that are restoring your, your, your levels of energy that you can then continue

00:46:08.280 to give.

00:46:08.840 Because I think at the root of being a man is the ability to give, it's the ability

00:46:12.900 to serve, but you can only serve so long as you have the capacity to give and to serve.

00:46:19.080 So you have to go out into the world and do things that are meaningful and significant

00:46:23.640 to you.

00:46:24.640 Uh, hunting is one of them.

00:46:26.460 Jiu-jitsu is one of those things for me having time and attention with my, with my friends.

00:46:31.040 Uh, even, even my work, quite frankly, is renewable because I get just as much from doing this podcast

00:46:37.260 and having conversations with you, Kip and the other guys, I get, I get value from that.

00:46:42.940 And so it's renewable.

00:46:44.720 So I think you guys have to figure out a way to do the things that are for you within boundaries,

00:46:51.780 of course.

00:46:52.420 And then that way you can then serve others more effectively.

00:46:56.940 You can only serve so long if you're not renewing what it is you bring to the table.

00:47:02.500 Ryan, what would you say for guys that, that might be hesitant to share and, you know, reach

00:47:10.260 out and cause impact in other people's lives because they don't feel they have it all together.

00:47:15.420 Well, I understand that.

00:47:20.180 I get that.

00:47:21.160 I do.

00:47:21.760 I I've never felt that way.

00:47:24.220 I even have people say, well, what makes you the guru?

00:47:26.940 Nothing.

00:47:28.020 Nobody ever said I wasn't.

00:47:29.460 I didn't never allude to the fact that I was a guru.

00:47:31.880 I have some things figured out, no doubt, but I'm learning.

00:47:35.060 I learn every day from you and from the guys listening to this podcast and everybody else

00:47:38.840 I come into contact with.

00:47:40.700 So you don't have to be the guru.

00:47:42.940 You don't have to be the expert.

00:47:44.480 You don't have to be the know-it-all.

00:47:45.760 In fact, I think that's a dangerous proposition when you pretend you are.

00:47:51.480 So your question was, how do you, how do you get over that and share?

00:47:56.480 Just share your, just share your stories.

00:47:58.340 Just share who you are.

00:47:59.940 Share what you struggled with.

00:48:01.040 Share where you've succeeded.

00:48:02.260 Share where you thrive.

00:48:03.260 Share where you fell behind.

00:48:04.600 Don't, don't game it.

00:48:05.760 Don't try to make yourself sound more and better than you currently are.

00:48:10.460 Just, just go out and be you and that will serve people.

00:48:14.100 You do think that there's a level of where you need to be on your game.

00:48:18.200 Like you use the example about, you know, you don't come across as the expert, but in

00:48:23.760 the same token, there's a little bit of a dichotomy there for you in, Hey, if you're

00:48:29.480 going to do it in the interview with someone, you know, Aubrey Marcus, for instance, about

00:48:33.540 fitness and health, but Ryan's never hitting the gym and you know, you're eating donuts

00:48:38.800 all the time.

00:48:39.460 Like there's, it's almost like you need to be on the path, but you don't have to be

00:48:45.120 perfect.

00:48:45.640 You have to at least be trying.

00:48:47.220 There has to be a, say that's true.

00:48:48.560 Yes.

00:48:48.920 A hundred percent.

00:48:49.720 There has to be integrity there.

00:48:51.880 And I'm not at the peak level of my fitness game by any means, but I'm on the path.

00:48:56.560 I'm working out.

00:48:57.560 I'm eating right.

00:48:58.260 I'm doing the things necessary.

00:48:59.420 I'm sleeping.

00:49:00.020 I'm getting the rest.

00:49:00.740 I'm getting the nutrition.

00:49:01.860 I'm doing all of those things.

00:49:03.960 If I wasn't doing those things.

00:49:05.520 Yeah.

00:49:05.700 What right do I have to tell her to people to do it?

00:49:08.420 If I was in my, in my financial planning practice and I was broke and I was telling

00:49:11.880 other people how to invest their money.

00:49:13.300 Well, that's not, that's not an integrity.

00:49:15.300 People will, will find that out and they won't be attracted to you.

00:49:18.600 They'll be repulsed by you because they understand there's a lack of integrity in your life.

00:49:23.500 So yes, you have to be on the path.

00:49:25.900 You have to be doing the things that you're telling other people to do.

00:49:28.580 So otherwise there's a huge, huge integrity problem, which will translate into a credibility

00:49:33.920 problem.

00:49:34.980 Cool.

00:49:35.860 I think that's helpful, Ryan.

00:49:37.660 Cool.

00:49:38.660 All right.

00:49:39.180 Daniel Hembree.

00:49:40.300 His question is, it'd be nice to hear some strategies on overcoming insecurities and how

00:49:45.540 to stop letting negative experiences from past relationships carry over to new ones.

00:49:51.340 Over overcoming insecurities is really easy.

00:49:53.440 Put yourself in situations that you're insecure.

00:49:55.680 Oh, I said easy.

00:49:57.500 I shouldn't say easy, simple, put yourself in situations in which you're insecure and

00:50:03.160 the more you become familiar with it.

00:50:04.620 And the more you realize that you're not going to die when you do that thing that you're

00:50:07.700 insecure or afraid about, the more equipped you are to handle it, to deal with it, and

00:50:12.300 then to address it positively and health in a healthy way.

00:50:15.500 So if you're insecure around successful people, go be around successful people.

00:50:21.520 If you're insecure with having those types of conversations, have more of those conversations.

00:50:27.320 If you're insecure around women, go spend time around women.

00:50:30.160 If you're insecure asking for what it is you want, ask more for what it is you want.

00:50:34.800 If you're insecure with your body, get in the gym and go take care of your body.

00:50:41.600 It's very, very simple to overcome insecurities, familiarity.

00:50:45.580 That's what it is.

00:50:46.560 It's familiarity in those situations.

00:50:49.020 And then you start to inoculate yourself against those things that you're insecure about.

00:50:53.660 How do you inoculate yourself?

00:50:54.800 By getting better.

00:50:57.560 That's it.

00:50:58.300 Get better.

00:50:59.940 Oh, Ryan, I'm just insecure with my health.

00:51:01.700 You probably should be a little insecure.

00:51:03.840 You're 50 pounds overweight.

00:51:05.420 You don't sleep.

00:51:06.340 You don't eat right.

00:51:07.820 So yeah, the insecurity is warranted.

00:51:11.100 What are you going to do about it?

00:51:14.140 Well, if you want to fix it, then go fix it.

00:51:17.060 And everybody knows how to do that.

00:51:18.680 You go into the gym, you work out, you move your body, you eat real food,

00:51:22.500 drink lots of water, you get good sleep, and you do other practices that are healthy.

00:51:27.180 It's simple.

00:51:27.960 You don't just get to not be insecure by just wishing that you weren't or some, you weren't just born that way.

00:51:37.860 Like how, how come that guy's so confident?

00:51:40.080 Because he's worked towards it.

00:51:42.680 That's it.

00:51:44.760 It's, and I'm not, I'm not upset or anything here.

00:51:46.940 I'm just, I'm passionate about this.

00:51:48.620 This, this one just really engages me because I know there's so many guys.

00:51:52.520 And look, I was in this boat as well.

00:51:54.900 And I'm going to go back to the Jocko podcast because this, I think this illustrates the point perfectly.

00:51:59.460 I'll tell you what, I've done three interviews with Jocko.

00:52:01.560 The first one, I hate the first interview.

00:52:04.580 I hate it.

00:52:05.980 I don't think it sounds good.

00:52:07.880 I think our technology at the time was, was bad.

00:52:10.360 I think the microphones were off.

00:52:11.680 I think my ability as an interviewer was off.

00:52:13.820 I didn't ask good questions and I didn't, I don't think it turned out good.

00:52:18.160 And it had nothing to do with Jocko.

00:52:19.460 It had everything to do with me.

00:52:22.340 And so the second one I did was better because I recognized where I fell short and I improved.

00:52:28.240 And the third one we just did last week was amazing because I got better.

00:52:33.720 And when, and if we do a fourth one, it'll be better than the third one.

00:52:36.960 Cause I'll continue to get better.

00:52:38.340 And I'll continue to work through those insecurities in the, in the areas in which I fall short.

00:52:43.840 Insecurities are okay.

00:52:45.920 You're there's times in your life where you should feel inadequate.

00:52:49.460 And I, and I hate when society says, oh, just you're special the way you are.

00:52:54.860 Maybe if you're content with being mediocre and average, I'm not.

00:53:01.460 Yeah.

00:53:02.100 If you're listening to this podcast, I assume that you're not.

00:53:05.040 So go, go be something better.

00:53:07.920 Go be something more.

00:53:09.100 Now, the second part of that question, how do you stop letting negative experiences with,

00:53:15.020 with relationships carry over?

00:53:16.700 Well, I think the insecurity thing definitely has a big part to play because you elevate who you are

00:53:22.060 as an individual.

00:53:23.160 And you're more emotionally intelligent, meaning you can handle these situations because you've

00:53:29.420 dealt with some of these insecurities, finding new people and understanding that these situations

00:53:34.020 are not necessarily correlated, right?

00:53:37.660 You're, you're, you're dating and you're with a new woman.

00:53:40.380 Now she's not the same as the other one.

00:53:44.760 Uh, I, I just think that a lot of it just comes from dealing with your own baggage and

00:53:51.420 you deal with your own baggage through the actions that you take and overcoming the baggage

00:53:56.700 that you've dealt with.

00:53:58.180 Yeah.

00:53:58.820 I, I really feel when I, when I read that second half of this question, letting go of

00:54:02.720 negative experiences from past relationships, you won't carry them on unless you didn't

00:54:09.780 evolve from the negative experiences.

00:54:11.640 If you, if you didn't become a better man, then guess what?

00:54:15.200 You are going to carry it over.

00:54:16.560 But the idea is if you had negative experiences of the past and, and you've evolved and you're

00:54:22.280 now a different man than you were, it's not applicable, right?

00:54:26.080 It's not applicable anymore.

00:54:27.300 I mean, I had a conversation with a guy a couple of months ago and he posed this question

00:54:31.500 to me.

00:54:31.760 It was like, you know, he made some mistakes in his past and it keeps, it keeps showing

00:54:37.640 up into his current relationships and it's affected him.

00:54:40.400 Well, did you learn?

00:54:42.220 Did you actually evolve and become a better man?

00:54:44.820 If you didn't, then shame on you.

00:54:46.460 No wonder why it's all your relationships are failing because you haven't learned from

00:54:50.440 them.

00:54:50.600 You wasted the opportunity of the experience and the heartache and everything else.

00:54:56.920 You've wasted it by not becoming a better person.

00:55:00.100 So I really, and if we know we have evolved and we're not the same man, it doesn't matter.

00:55:05.260 Like I really, and I get, I think that gives you the confidence that it doesn't matter that

00:55:09.800 that happened in my past.

00:55:11.140 That's not who I am today.

00:55:12.500 And good.

00:55:14.300 It happened in your past because now you have the opportunity to learn.

00:55:17.840 There's a great quote.

00:55:18.660 It's no man steps in the same river twice for he is not the same man and it is not the

00:55:23.640 same river.

00:55:24.920 Yeah.

00:55:25.700 And, and to your point, learn, learn from those.

00:55:29.260 And some of those are painful, man, painful, painful lessons.

00:55:34.040 So what learn from them and get over the guilt and get over the remorse and get over the sorrow

00:55:40.320 because you've, like you said, learn from it.

00:55:42.540 Amazing.

00:55:43.320 Amazingly well said, Kip.

00:55:46.100 Now you say that, but then George Sykes makes me feel like a complete moron with his next

00:55:51.800 question.

00:55:52.160 Cause I have no idea how to pronounce those.

00:55:54.420 And so I'm going to beg you, Ryan, do you know how to pronounce those words?

00:55:57.240 Now that you have to read the whole question.

00:55:58.420 Yeah.

00:55:58.520 He's talking about the, the Uber mentions what he's talking about.

00:56:01.540 Um, and I'm, uh, I'll, I'll tell you what, I'm not familiar enough with the concept to

00:56:08.900 be able to say that the sovereign man, that's what he's asking about.

00:56:13.340 He's asking if the sovereign man is the same thing as Nietzsche's, uh, Ubermensch.

00:56:18.980 I don't know.

00:56:19.720 I don't know much about the Ubermensch to say that it's similar to, uh, to the sovereign

00:56:25.740 man.

00:56:26.320 I wish I could give you a better answer.

00:56:27.580 I just can't.

00:56:28.680 All right, George.

00:56:29.160 So here's, here's the action item coming out of this.

00:56:31.180 So now you have all these guys curious that's listening to this podcast.

00:56:35.240 So your job is to jump on the order of man, Facebook group, facebook.com forward slash

00:56:40.760 groups, forward slash order of man, and give us the breakdown.

00:56:44.560 Give us, give us, let us know what the Ubermensch is and your thoughts.

00:56:48.720 And, and let's, let's start that dialogue.

00:56:51.120 Yep.

00:56:52.200 Perfect.

00:56:53.120 Cool.

00:56:53.360 Jacob Gentry alternatives to Brazilian jujitsu a hundred plus a month is not my reality.

00:57:01.180 Looking for suggestions.

00:57:04.180 Um, well, I thought somebody made a good recommendation at origin camp, uh, that we went to and they

00:57:09.840 said, get, get a, get a, maybe it was you, you might've said it.

00:57:14.380 Look on, uh, look on YouTube, find a buddy in your town or your area or whatever.

00:57:18.320 Look on YouTube and learn some, some technique and learn some strategy and practice it together

00:57:25.560 with one other person in your garage or in your living room or wherever, you know, that's

00:57:29.860 what Jocko did when he started.

00:57:31.360 That's yeah.

00:57:31.960 Did you know that?

00:57:32.960 Yeah.

00:57:33.280 I mean, the Gracie's when they first came to, I think it was Florence, California, that's

00:57:38.100 how they started their schools.

00:57:39.520 They called it.

00:57:40.420 I mean, there's a coin phrase.

00:57:41.780 They're called Gracie garage and, and it was guys throwing down like crappy mats, not

00:57:47.340 even good mats, like puzzle mats that are like half an inch thick, right?

00:57:51.180 You still feel the concrete underneath them.

00:57:53.620 And they would set these mats up in garages and that's, that's what the schools were for

00:57:58.000 years.

00:57:59.320 Yeah.

00:57:59.960 And, and it doesn't take a whole lot.

00:58:02.020 Like Jocko was rolling around on grass with one of his master chiefs grass.

00:58:07.120 They just went out of the park and they're rolling around on grass and doing it.

00:58:09.740 So if you're creative, you'll, you'll find a way to do it.

00:58:13.000 Just go jump on YouTube.

00:58:14.460 There's a, there's a book that I bought called, I think it's called Brazilian Jiu Jitsu

00:58:18.920 University.

00:58:20.040 Are you familiar with this one?

00:58:21.500 Uh huh.

00:58:22.040 Yep.

00:58:22.240 And I bought that, but look, I mean, there's only so much you can learn about it by reading.

00:58:26.100 Okay.

00:58:26.320 I'm not saying just read the book and you're going to be like Keanu Reeves is I know Kung

00:58:30.260 Fu, you know, it's, that's not how it works, but certainly you can understand some, some

00:58:35.940 foundational principles and then you have to put them into practice.

00:58:38.340 So go find a buddy who wants to do it as well.

00:58:40.460 And you guys go roll around together, work on a guard, work on a move, work on a pass,

00:58:44.900 work on a whatever, and, and then just practice on each other and roll.

00:58:48.100 And, and the way that we run our, our, uh, activities is we, and during Jiu Jitsu, our

00:58:54.320 training is we do a half an hour, usually to 45 minutes of instruction on certain passes

00:59:00.500 or certain moves, whatever it may be.

00:59:02.260 And then we take 45 minutes of open mat time, which is just rolling with other people, you

00:59:06.840 know, trading partners.

00:59:07.840 So I would say use a similar model.

00:59:11.440 I'm not the expert on it, but look, if you're, if you're wanting to do it, then do it, be

00:59:15.920 creative and figure out a way to make it work.

00:59:17.360 And it's not going to be ideal probably, but until you can get to that a hundred dollars

00:59:20.660 a month, or you can get into a gym and professional gym, then do what you can.

00:59:24.440 The other thing I would say is go into the gym that you want to work out and, and just

00:59:28.900 tell the, tell the people, Hey, I want to come do this.

00:59:31.600 I don't have a hundred dollars a month.

00:59:32.840 Can I come clean mats for you two to three nights a week?

00:59:35.320 And then in turn, I can participate in the classes.

00:59:39.280 Totally.

00:59:39.800 I think, I think if they don't already have somebody doing that, I'm trying to think of

00:59:44.240 it were me.

00:59:44.680 If somebody came into me and said, and I could see that they were serious about it, about

00:59:48.800 doing something that I personally love.

00:59:51.420 And, and they're trying to be creative about finding a solution to be able to come there

00:59:55.460 and they're going to add value to me.

00:59:56.640 I would say, yeah, yeah, you can do that for sure.

00:59:59.860 So be creative and come up with an answer.

01:00:02.900 Yeah.

01:00:03.220 And guys, guys are always looking for someone to roll with Facebook groups, meetups or whatever.

01:00:09.180 Guaranteed.

01:00:09.700 There's a group of guys maybe in your area that meet up somewhere and get some rolling

01:00:14.360 in.

01:00:14.900 Yeah.

01:00:15.040 You just need to find them.

01:00:16.260 Right.

01:00:16.560 Yep.

01:00:16.780 I'm sure.

01:00:17.460 No doubt.

01:00:18.560 All right.

01:00:19.220 Daryl French, his question.

01:00:20.640 Any plans for a book, a bushcraft interview, Matt Graham or the like?

01:00:25.000 We should, I haven't done one for a while.

01:00:26.760 We've had Creek Stewart on a couple of times, which was really good.

01:00:29.740 Um, but I think if I remember correctly, we've done over 300 interviews now.

01:00:34.920 Um, I think he's the only one that we've had with regards to bushcraft survival, that

01:00:40.400 sort of thing.

01:00:41.260 Um, but yeah, let me look into something else because I think, I think that would be a good

01:00:45.640 thing and something worthy of, uh, worthy of covering.

01:00:48.220 So I'll look into that, Daryl.

01:00:50.220 Cool.

01:00:50.460 All right.

01:00:51.520 Oscar Leon, his question.

01:00:53.320 How do I get an internship without enough experience?

01:00:56.880 Well, an internship is designed for people without experience.

01:00:59.940 Yeah.

01:01:00.440 So I don't understand like, like how do you get an internship without experience?

01:01:05.040 Well, prove that you're, that you have some sort of capacity for doing a good job.

01:01:09.540 Now it may not be experienced in that specific field, but that's what an internship is designed

01:01:12.960 for.

01:01:13.600 It's designed to give you experience.

01:01:15.760 Some internships are paid and others aren't paid, but work with, I assume maybe he's in

01:01:23.040 college and he's looking for an internship in his field.

01:01:26.560 I don't know, but internships are easy.

01:01:28.820 I used to work a lot with dentists and what they would go in and do before, uh, college

01:01:33.880 and before dental school is they would actually go shadow other dentists.

01:01:37.440 So they would walk into a dentist office and say, Hey, I'm considering going into dental

01:01:40.600 school or I am in dental school.

01:01:42.060 Can I come shadow you and watch your day and watch what you're doing?

01:01:45.900 And those dental dentists were like, yeah, sure.

01:01:47.880 Cause they understand, uh, if you're in college work through your, your, I don't know what the

01:01:53.480 department's called, but the job department or the business department.

01:01:56.620 And they sometimes have internships and experiences that you can participate in.

01:02:01.240 But yeah, an internship is designed for people without experience.

01:02:04.280 That's how you get experience.

01:02:05.600 But you're going to have to prove to that potential, uh, employer that you have some

01:02:12.340 capability to succeed and to follow directions and to thrive and to learn new things and to

01:02:17.660 actually add value to them.

01:02:19.300 What does that look like?

01:02:20.500 And work with your business department in the college to, to figure out how to put a resume

01:02:24.540 together and, um, just, just put yourself out there.

01:02:28.520 And then sometimes you just got to start at the low, the low end.

01:02:31.820 This is life.

01:02:32.620 You know, my, my first job was at Burger King and then I got a better job and then a

01:02:36.020 better job and a better job and a better job.

01:02:37.660 And although my experience at Burger King wasn't directly translatable to retail, for

01:02:41.880 example, uh, there was still work experience that a new employer saw and was able to take

01:02:49.980 and willing to take a risk.

01:02:51.880 So start at the bottom and work your way to the top.

01:02:54.600 Yeah.

01:02:55.060 At my boss, Brian, he went at our company.

01:02:58.520 He has kind of these, these set items that when we do interviews, do they meet these

01:03:03.600 criterias?

01:03:04.200 And they're not very specific, but they're general.

01:03:06.200 And one of them is passion.

01:03:09.280 And, and so I would suggest to Oscar, if, if we have an intern coming in for an interview

01:03:14.080 and they're passionate, meaning that if the interview is, I don't know, for software development

01:03:20.520 and he has no experience doing software development, but he's done some fun pet projects and he's

01:03:26.700 tried to figure it out on his own and he has those things to share and he's passionate

01:03:30.560 about learning and taking on and being challenged to that.

01:03:34.460 I would hire that in a day over a degree.

01:03:39.520 And I, and I think that's the case for most people.

01:03:41.400 So, you know, if you're passionate about what you want to be an intern about show and communicate

01:03:46.500 that passion and that could go a long way.

01:03:49.260 I think.

01:03:49.840 Yeah.

01:03:50.200 I wholeheartedly agree.

01:03:52.100 Cool, man.

01:03:52.800 We got through them all.

01:03:53.780 It looks like, look at us.

01:03:55.420 We're killing it.

01:03:56.880 So I'll have to ask, uh, for some more questions, uh, in the Facebook group and Patreon and every

01:04:02.800 which way.

01:04:03.240 So we'll do that.

01:04:04.580 Cool.

01:04:04.900 So, I mean, if you guys have not heard Ryan's interview with Chaco, you gotta, you gotta go

01:04:11.620 into the podcast history, download those.

01:04:13.920 In fact, just subscribe to the podcast.

01:04:16.420 So then that way you're not missing any of these, uh, excellent, excellent episodes and

01:04:20.560 interviews that Ryan does.

01:04:21.740 Uh, we mentioned this earlier, but on the Facebook, um, no, we have some great conversations

01:04:26.820 happening.

01:04:27.200 There's some great men trying to level up, provide insights to one another and suggestions,

01:04:31.700 and you can go there and leave an impact and help other men.

01:04:35.060 And you do that by going to facebook.com forward slash groups forward slash order of man.

01:04:40.020 And Mr.

01:04:40.800 Mickler of course is on Instagram at Ryan Mickler.

01:04:43.360 Twitter is at order of man and the Patreon account, which is patreon.com forward slash order

01:04:49.640 of man.

01:04:50.280 I have a question for you.

01:04:52.080 Yes, sir.

01:04:52.780 What is a forward slash versus just a slash?

01:04:56.200 A forward slash leans to the right, a backslash or are you sure?

01:05:03.040 Yeah.

01:05:03.560 Well, forward slash is always leaning to the right.

01:05:05.300 A backslash leans to the left.

01:05:06.760 Now, if you just say slash, most people mean a forward slash or I mean a forward slash slash.

01:05:14.220 Yeah.

01:05:14.460 Just because we're all used to that via, uh, your way it is.

01:05:18.540 I don't know.

01:05:19.320 I don't, I'm not a hundred percent convinced because I've had other people explain it the

01:05:23.240 other way.

01:05:24.320 So we'll leave that.

01:05:27.440 Well, you know what?

01:05:28.580 I got a funny story.

01:05:29.560 You got to hear the story.

01:05:30.400 So, so I was just meeting with a client the other day and, and I had a person in the meeting

01:05:35.020 room argue with me a little bit.

01:05:36.700 They're like, ah, you know, I disagree and blah, blah, blah.

01:05:38.960 About slashes or something else.

01:05:40.920 Yeah.

01:05:41.380 About technology.

01:05:42.440 So we'll, we'll, we'll say it's slashes.

01:05:44.060 Okay.

01:05:44.600 And, um, and I, and I was, I'm stern, but I'm not, I had respect, but I was stern.

01:05:50.860 And I was like, no, actually you understand this wrong.

01:05:53.000 Cause you, you don't know what you don't know.

01:05:56.580 Right.

01:05:56.940 And part of my job is to help you see what, what else is available to you.

01:06:00.780 Was this a client?

01:06:01.880 It was a client.

01:06:02.820 Okay.

01:06:03.100 And, uh, and it was, it was a little stern, but it was good.

01:06:07.060 And, and then he had to leave the meeting with a handful of other guys.

01:06:10.860 And then someone goes, oh yeah, well, our CIO, the reason why he doesn't understand that.

01:06:14.560 And I'm like, really guys?

01:06:15.800 I'm like, someone could have told me that was the CIO before, before I started arguing

01:06:20.440 with the guy.

01:06:21.660 No, but that he, like, he should know.

01:06:25.060 Totally.

01:06:25.820 But, and I, and I wouldn't have changed anything, but it would have been good to know that, uh,

01:06:30.100 that was the boss.

01:06:31.220 Or maybe, you know what though?

01:06:33.240 Maybe it's good.

01:06:34.000 You didn't know because maybe if you knew you wouldn't have said what needed to be said.

01:06:38.940 Yeah.

01:06:39.320 I would have cow-toed maybe a little bit.

01:06:40.740 Right.

01:06:41.060 Yeah.

01:06:41.520 Good point.

01:06:42.260 Yeah.

01:06:42.580 Good point.

01:06:43.040 Interesting.

01:06:43.400 Yeah.

01:06:43.920 It's pretty fascinating.

01:06:44.820 And again, you and I are not above this, but it's fascinating how much we think we know

01:06:50.780 and, and how much we'll cling to that misinformation or not information, uh, when we're presented

01:06:57.960 with somebody who actually knows what it is they're talking about.

01:07:00.980 Yeah.

01:07:01.580 Well, and it's really an honest mistake in the sense of, and I, and I know I've already

01:07:07.200 used that phrase, but you know, you don't know what you don't know.

01:07:10.060 Like you, you can't even comprehend slash argue with something that is not even on your

01:07:15.400 radar.

01:07:15.940 Right.

01:07:16.400 Right.

01:07:16.540 You don't even know it exists.

01:07:18.020 Right.

01:07:18.380 Right.

01:07:18.540 I mean, sometimes we know things that we don't know.

01:07:20.500 Right.

01:07:20.740 I know I'm not a brain surgeon.

01:07:22.480 That's a given.

01:07:23.260 Right.

01:07:23.540 But there's aspects of thinking and technology or whatever that I don't, I'm not even aware

01:07:28.500 of.

01:07:28.680 I don't, I can't even have an opinion of because I don't even know it exists.

01:07:31.660 Yeah.

01:07:31.940 And that's a whole different scenario.

01:07:33.600 Yeah.

01:07:35.020 Right on, man.

01:07:35.980 Well, Kip, I appreciate you guys.

01:07:37.660 Appreciate you.

01:07:38.400 Keep asking those questions.

01:07:39.560 Kip and I will keep answering them.

01:07:41.520 Um, Kip's going to keep reading them.

01:07:43.300 I'm not going to read them.

01:07:45.160 And maybe I, and if, if George Sykes comes up with some more difficult things to read,

01:07:49.560 maybe I should start, start prepping a little bit to make sure I can actually pronounce what

01:07:53.820 is given to me.

01:07:54.480 But, you know, I think, I think there's definitely value in prepping for it.

01:07:57.540 And you do because you, you write all these out and you know what the questions are, but

01:08:01.260 I also think there's value in just doing this off the cuff and just having a lot more

01:08:04.940 casual.

01:08:05.280 In fact, most of the feedback that we get on the podcast, this particular podcast is that

01:08:10.280 they like the casualness of it.

01:08:11.860 So if we overproduce it, I think it takes away from what it is we're trying to do here

01:08:16.640 on this, uh, Wednesday, ask me anything.

01:08:18.580 Well, and they're going to keep listening.

01:08:19.840 Cause they want you to hear that, uh, Garth Brooks song.

01:08:22.100 You're going to sing one day, one day, keep, keep working for it.

01:08:24.760 And one day, uh, I may do it.

01:08:26.940 Or one day you could sing that song.

01:08:28.700 That's a great song too.

01:08:29.660 I don't know that one.

01:08:30.640 Who's that one by, uh, Matt, Mattis Yahoo.

01:08:35.140 I don't even know.

01:08:36.300 I don't even know who or what that is.

01:08:38.020 I'm sending you a link.

01:08:38.760 It's a great song.

01:08:39.540 All right.

01:08:39.780 Shoot me a link.

01:08:40.760 All right, cool.

01:08:41.400 All right, guys.

01:08:42.240 Well, Hey, we appreciate you.

01:08:43.260 We're glad you're here.

01:08:43.980 Couldn't do this without you.

01:08:45.200 Um, it's man, it's just, it's, it's humbling and it's inspiring to see all the guys here

01:08:49.280 who are leveling up their lives.

01:08:51.320 And I'm glad to be part of it.

01:08:53.080 Kip, I, I guess I could speak for you and say that you're glad to be part of it as well.

01:08:56.740 And sure.

01:08:57.940 Anyways, guys, we'll let you get going, but until a Friday for our Friday field notes,

01:09:01.180 take action and become the man you are meant to be.

01:09:03.520 Thank you for listening to the order of man podcast.

01:09:07.240 You're ready to take charge of your life and be more of the man you were meant to be.

01:09:11.040 We invite you to join the order at order of man.com.

Order of Man - September 26, 2018

Increasing Influence, Overcoming Overwhelm and Insecurity, and Filling Your Cup First ｜ ASK ME ANYTHING

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