Order of Man - Increasing Testosterone, Making Allies and Adversaries, and Coming Back From Divorce

00:00:00.040 You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest. Embrace your fears and boldly chart your own path.

00:00:06.040 When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time. Every time.

00:00:10.500 You are not easily deterred or defeated. Rugged. Resilient. Strong.

00:00:15.540 This is your life. This is who you are. This is who you will become.

00:00:19.780 At the end of the day, and after all is said and done, you can call yourself a man.

00:00:25.060 Kip, what's up, man? It is good to be back.

00:00:26.700 You, although you held down the fort really well last week, not even just, that's not even doing it justice.

00:00:31.680 You did a really, really good job.

00:00:33.420 Oh, thanks, man. It's, I don't know.

00:00:37.180 It sounds cheesy to say it, and maybe I shouldn't even admit it to it, but like, every time I think, man, I do pretty good, and then I'm like, ah, this one sucked.

00:00:47.600 I think that's natural, though, with anything.

00:00:49.520 I just assume that, that it's not going to go well, you know, or I just, well, I mentioned this, I text you, I said, oh, you know,

00:00:56.700 it just wasn't like my energy was not quite there, and then I listened to it, and I'm like, sound pretty energetic.

00:01:04.060 I'm like, apparently, it doesn't show in the way it speaks, so I don't know.

00:01:08.340 You know what's interesting, though, is I think this is true for anything.

00:01:11.440 Like, anytime you do something, you're going to be your own harshest critic, right?

00:01:16.360 That's, I think that's a pretty universal principle, and most of the things that you notice are going wrong, or you think aren't good, or I didn't answer that correctly, or I didn't do that thing right, you're going to really dwell on that thing over the things that you did well, and so people are like, oh, don't beat yourself up.

00:01:33.500 Oh, you know, afford yourself some great, like these types of things, which is good.

00:01:37.220 I understand that too, but also, I would be worried if I wasn't critiquing myself.

00:01:43.040 I would be worried if I wasn't concerned about, did I do a good job?

00:01:48.280 It's a weird dichotomy, because actually worrying about it means you care about it, and you'll likely get better because you're focused on how you can improve.

00:01:58.760 But if you're nihilistic about it, like, I don't know, it's okay, I don't care, that would be a red flag for me.

00:02:04.600 Like, why don't I care about this thing?

00:02:07.380 Yeah, yeah, that's true.

00:02:09.020 And I don't know about you, but like, sometimes when I am nervous about something, like, it just means it's important to me, right?

00:02:16.000 So that's kind of a telltale sign of like, hey, you know, you're taking it serious, you know, and let it serve you, right, not hinder you, so.

00:02:24.240 That's right, yeah.

00:02:25.240 Hold on, I got Facebook beeping at me over here.

00:02:27.420 Well, speaking of Facebook, we're fielding questions from Facebook this week, so let's just jump right into those questions,

00:02:34.100 because I know we've got a lot of good ones.

00:02:35.800 Yeah, let's do it.

00:02:36.480 And we do have a little bit of like housekeeping questions that kind of came up, and we can cover these quickly,

00:02:42.060 because I think a lot of guys are asking about this.

00:02:43.420 If they're good, if they're good, if they're like questions we've addressed, like, we'll move on.

00:02:48.160 But if they're good questions, yeah, let's hit them.

00:02:50.040 Yeah, sounds good.

00:02:50.900 I mean, one was about events, so, you know, we have a couple guys on Facebook.

00:02:54.680 Coming soon, yeah, stay tuned.

00:02:56.160 So stay tuned, keep checking the website, keep following us, that's how you find out, right?

00:03:00.520 Okay, yep, we'll let you, trust me, trust me.

00:03:03.280 I mean, look, we do this because we do this out of the goodness of our heart.

00:03:08.200 We want you guys to win and thrive and lead your families and succeed in business and lose weight and all the things that we talk about.

00:03:13.300 Yes, we want you to do that.

00:03:14.520 And we're also a business.

00:03:16.520 So trust me, when we have events and they're open, we're going to let you know, I promise you.

00:03:21.900 Yeah, yeah, sounds good.

00:03:23.680 But I appreciate the excitement about it, too.

00:03:25.620 I mean, yeah, and there's quite a bit of excitement about the BattlePlan app, too.

00:03:29.940 Yeah.

00:03:30.340 That kind of came up on Facebook.

00:03:31.360 So maybe just a quick, you know, let guys know what that is.

00:03:34.720 If you go to, so we've got the analog planner, right?

00:03:37.800 The written planner, which is actually what I use.

00:03:40.400 Like, I use this.

00:03:42.400 Yeah.

00:03:43.100 And I'm a Kate, like, I jump on the BattlePlanning app.

00:03:46.320 You know, I like it.

00:03:46.920 It's cool.

00:03:47.560 Obviously, I help design it.

00:03:50.580 So it's cool.

00:03:51.380 But if you're not like a written guy, and I know a lot of guys aren't, that app is badass.

00:04:00.240 So you can go in there and you actually document your vision.

00:04:03.440 You document your checkpoints, your objectives, the tactics.

00:04:08.000 And then every single day, you actually will have the opportunity to check it off.

00:04:12.960 And then you can see what percentage of the week you're hitting.

00:04:16.580 Are you hitting 60?

00:04:17.440 Are you hitting 70?

00:04:18.160 Are you hitting 100%?

00:04:19.020 The other cool two things that you can do is you can put daily non-negotiables in there.

00:04:23.760 So let's say exercise, visualization, cold shower or ice bath, whatever your non-negotiable is.

00:04:31.180 Yeah.

00:04:31.620 Not necessarily a goal, but a daily thing.

00:04:34.500 Daily thing.

00:04:35.380 It just happens.

00:04:36.380 Yep.

00:04:37.160 So you put that in there and it'll, every 24 hours, it'll reset.

00:04:41.920 So the next day, it'll be there and you have to check those things off.

00:04:44.580 And we also have the daily task reminders, which are things that aren't recurring every day.

00:04:50.980 They're just things that you needed to do.

00:04:52.380 So like I, for example, today, I needed to reach out to my accountant.

00:04:57.280 I need to schedule a meeting for our Facebook moderators.

00:05:00.540 I need to get a new t-shirt design to our merchandise guy.

00:05:04.840 These are daily tasks that we do.

00:05:07.600 And once I'm done, I'm done.

00:05:08.940 So you check them off and they go away.

00:05:10.640 But whatever doesn't get checked off, we'll roll over to the next day by default until you actually go check it off.

00:05:16.800 So it's a pretty cool app.

00:05:18.560 In fact, I'm going to grab something.

00:05:20.000 Hold on.

00:05:20.900 Yeah, no worries.

00:05:21.460 And if Ryan's pissed off or it comes across pissed off on Instagram, we know it's because he's met with his accountant and it's tax season.

00:05:29.460 So give me some grace.

00:05:32.180 I actually got, yeah, fairly, I mean, not great news, but like fairly good news for my accountant.

00:05:37.040 I owed less than I thought.

00:05:38.620 So that was cool.

00:05:39.580 Hey, that is cool.

00:05:40.540 Yeah.

00:05:41.140 Like never happens.

00:05:42.600 Yeah, no, never.

00:05:43.620 Well, I'm sure they'll get me next quarter and say, oh, you underpaid.

00:05:46.200 So, but yeah, this is the app itself.

00:05:49.960 So there's four, I mean, you guys are all familiar with it.

00:05:53.280 There's four sections, calibration, connection, condition, contribution.

00:05:58.700 And then you go in here, let's say connection, for example.

00:06:03.140 I don't know if you can, you can see the days.

00:06:06.880 So I'm on Tuesday.

00:06:08.700 So I'm just going to click Tuesday.

00:06:09.960 As soon as I get it done, I've got my, I didn't put any task reminders in here.

00:06:15.560 We just pulled this up, but yeah, it's cool, man.

00:06:17.360 So if you go to 12 week battle planner and 12 is the number 12.

00:06:22.660 So one, two, 12 week battle planner.com.

00:06:26.700 That's going to take you to the Google play store and the Apple, the app store.

00:06:31.680 So you can, you can get it from there.

00:06:34.100 Awesome.

00:06:35.400 All right.

00:06:36.260 Yeah, it's cool, man.

00:06:37.180 Excited.

00:06:37.680 All right.

00:06:38.480 Scott Torchik back to names.

00:06:40.600 Jeez, I'm going to, we're going to have to pronounce names here.

00:06:42.500 Thoughts on the possible new COVID passport to travel within our own country.

00:06:47.720 I think it's ridiculous.

00:06:49.280 I mean, it's, it's absolutely asinine.

00:06:51.700 It's going to happen.

00:06:53.000 And I think it's going to happen.

00:06:54.520 I think it's going to happen.

00:06:55.540 I just can't imagine it, but yeah, but the reason, so, okay, this actually brings up a

00:07:00.640 really interesting cultural thing.

00:07:02.060 All the guys who have guns are like, not in a million years, you're going to take my guns.

00:07:08.920 And then we allow all this legislation to be passed to restrict guns.

00:07:14.520 And, and, and then you'll hear these badasses on Instagram.

00:07:17.580 Never.

00:07:18.240 I'm never going to wear a mask.

00:07:19.840 Oh, except for if I need to go to the grocery store and I need to wear a mask, then I'll go.

00:07:23.840 But outside of that, I'm never going to do it.

00:07:26.480 And it's the same thing with this.

00:07:27.840 You're hearing all these social media badasses who are like, I'm never going to do a thing,

00:07:32.560 a passport.

00:07:33.600 And then we don't do anything about it.

00:07:35.400 We don't call our congressman.

00:07:36.560 We don't run for office.

00:07:37.800 We don't talk about it because heaven forbid somebody gets upset about it.

00:07:42.580 Like we do nothing.

00:07:43.840 And then something gets passed.

00:07:45.200 You're like, that's bullshit.

00:07:47.060 It's like, well, you didn't do anything about it for the past two years while they were,

00:07:51.140 while all the legislators were talking about it.

00:07:53.500 So that's going to happen for sure.

00:07:55.760 And, and, you know, you hear these things like, oh, we're not, well, you can't mandate

00:07:59.260 the, the, the vaccine.

00:08:00.920 Sure.

00:08:01.320 Right.

00:08:01.600 Okay.

00:08:01.840 So maybe the max, the vaccine won't be mandated, but essentially it's like, well, if you want

00:08:06.500 to fly anywhere, if you want to, if you want to go to a ball game, like you have to have

00:08:11.340 a vaccine, but we're not mandating it.

00:08:12.940 Like you just have to have a vaccine, but it's not mandated, but I can't do anything if

00:08:16.460 I don't have it.

00:08:17.660 Yeah.

00:08:18.540 So we, we need to get involved.

00:08:20.260 We need to talk with our legislators, talk with our elected officials, run for office, talk about

00:08:24.820 this stuff on social media.

00:08:26.100 I know it's not popular.

00:08:27.380 I know people are going to get pushed back, but it's not right, man.

00:08:31.860 It's not right.

00:08:32.480 And you know what?

00:08:33.040 If somebody's upset or, or scared, or, you know, they have issues with COVID.

00:08:37.780 And here's the thing.

00:08:38.420 Every time I talk about this, I get emails and messages from people like, well, you're a,

00:08:42.200 you're a COVID denier, or you don't care about people dying.

00:08:45.800 Only a moron would say that.

00:08:48.680 Okay.

00:08:49.220 I, I, I know COVID is a real thing.

00:08:51.880 I have people in my life who have experienced it.

00:08:54.140 I'm not saying it's not a real thing.

00:08:56.140 I don't want people to die, but what I do want people to do is make their own decisions.

00:09:00.580 If you're worried about COVID, then don't, then don't go where people are.

00:09:06.840 Like, that's your prerogative, not mine.

00:09:09.100 You're, you, you don't have the right to limit my freedom, my life, liberty, life, liberty,

00:09:14.640 and the pursuit of happiness.

00:09:15.720 You have the right to limit yours voluntarily, but not mine.

00:09:19.160 Yeah.

00:09:19.920 You know, so at church the other day, I made this post and a lot of people lost their minds

00:09:23.980 about church.

00:09:24.940 You know, they, they don't want us to sing.

00:09:26.720 They don't want us to congregate.

00:09:28.240 They want us to wear a mask all throughout service.

00:09:31.780 They just opened it back.

00:09:33.080 I'm like, I'm not, I'm not playing.

00:09:34.640 So I wore a mask out of respect as I was walking in the building and talking with people

00:09:40.260 to, because I want to be respectful.

00:09:42.300 But when I sat down, that mask came off.

00:09:44.000 So everybody in the thing was wearing a mask, except for me and my family, we weren't wearing

00:09:47.900 a mask and nobody said a thing.

00:09:50.140 And if they did, I would, I would say, okay, thank you.

00:09:53.160 And I would leave because that's my, that's their decision.

00:09:56.640 And that's my decision.

00:09:58.280 And if somebody is upset about that, then they have every right to excuse themselves to,

00:10:02.960 to not go out in public, to not go to the grocery store, to not go wherever they think

00:10:07.020 they're concerned with.

00:10:07.880 But yeah, you don't have any right to inhibit what I do.

00:10:11.780 So, and we're not talking about the plague here either.

00:10:15.460 I mean, let's be, let's be honest.

00:10:17.100 We're not talking about the plague.

00:10:19.420 We're not at a great societal risk right now.

00:10:22.340 And by the way, if your vaccine works, Kip, if you and I are hanging out and your vaccine

00:10:26.600 works, it doesn't matter whether or not I got the vaccine.

00:10:29.220 Yeah, it doesn't.

00:10:32.220 Right.

00:10:32.540 So, so if you're concerned and you're, you want to feel and you feel good about it, get

00:10:39.420 the vaccine.

00:10:40.400 Right.

00:10:41.240 And that's fine.

00:10:41.800 I don't look, if somebody's like, I don't, I'm afraid of COVID.

00:10:44.000 Okay.

00:10:44.240 We'll live your life the way you see fit.

00:10:45.760 If they're like, well, I'm going to get a vaccine.

00:10:47.020 Okay, cool.

00:10:48.760 Like, I don't, I'm not going to judge you for that.

00:10:50.960 Like, I'm not going to do that.

00:10:52.480 I don't feel good about that right now.

00:10:54.600 That's my decision.

00:10:55.420 My family's decision.

00:10:56.200 But yeah, if, if you want to, but you lead your family, like you, you do your thing.

00:11:00.960 That's important.

00:11:01.740 I think the big takeaway here and something you talked about on Friday field notes, I

00:11:06.280 think it was as well.

00:11:08.100 It's like that, that silent majority is, is the, the passive majority is really what

00:11:14.020 it is.

00:11:14.600 I mean, there, there is a silent majority.

00:11:16.920 I do think in this country that disagrees with a whole lot of things.

00:11:20.200 The problem is they're not saying and, or doing anything about it.

00:11:24.940 Right.

00:11:25.380 That's true.

00:11:26.580 And they're not running for, for office and they're not putting themselves in positions

00:11:30.540 of authority where they're making decisions.

00:11:32.080 They're not expressing their opinion and their beliefs.

00:11:34.600 And so they're just getting railroaded.

00:11:37.120 And a lot of the times what I think people are doing is like, well, I don't want to, I

00:11:41.300 don't want to rock the boat.

00:11:42.120 I don't want to, I don't want it to be weird or awkward.

00:11:44.020 I don't want to make people feel uncomfortable.

00:11:47.820 Well, they're willing to do that to you.

00:11:50.740 Yeah.

00:11:51.460 You know, so, and, and, and let's fight fire with fire a little bit.

00:11:55.820 And, and that's, that's a big problem with, I think conservatives and also Christians generally.

00:12:02.460 Yeah.

00:12:02.820 You know, like, Oh, I don't turn the other cheek.

00:12:05.680 I don't want to ruffle feathers.

00:12:06.720 I want everybody to like me or whatever.

00:12:07.920 Like, Oh, so what are you going to grow a back, a backbone?

00:12:11.900 When are you going to grow a spine?

00:12:13.060 When are you going to have some standards?

00:12:14.820 Even look, if they're righteous and virtuous standards, then you have to have a backbone to

00:12:21.140 back them up.

00:12:21.600 Otherwise they're not standards.

00:12:23.000 Well, we've talked about this, like in that example, or is it because you don't want to

00:12:28.940 offend someone or is it because you are worried about how you're going to feel?

00:12:33.180 And, and we talked about this most of the time.

00:12:35.260 It's not about the other individual.

00:12:37.000 It's, it's a, it's selfish.

00:12:39.080 We choose not to say something because we don't want to be uncomfortable.

00:12:42.180 We don't want to possibly be called out most of the time.

00:12:44.960 And I think if we reflect, we know that's true.

00:12:47.500 Yeah.

00:12:47.940 It's not really about offending someone else.

00:12:49.840 So bottom line, I think it's bullcrap.

00:12:54.440 I'm going to talk about it.

00:12:55.640 I'm going to work against it.

00:12:57.020 I'm going to talk with our elected officials.

00:12:58.640 I'm going to continue to have elected officials on this podcast.

00:13:01.580 You know, I haven't ran for office.

00:13:02.920 I mean, full disclosure, I haven't ran for office.

00:13:05.040 So, and I'm telling people, Hey, should you, you should run for office.

00:13:07.220 Well, right.

00:13:07.580 Do I have to say that I'm doing the way I'm doing it the way I feel like I can do it.

00:13:11.120 I feel like I can have a great impact, a powerful impact among hundreds of thousands,

00:13:16.280 if not millions of men here on the podcast.

00:13:17.680 And not all of us have to do the same thing.

00:13:20.760 We all don't run for office, but we have honorable men running for office.

00:13:24.820 We have honorable men coaching youth sports.

00:13:26.640 We have honorable men starting their own movements.

00:13:28.640 We have honorable men talking about these conversations.

00:13:30.660 We have honorable men leading within their businesses and communities and functions and

00:13:34.720 outings.

00:13:35.280 And collectively between our elected officials and our coaches and our mentors and our community

00:13:41.400 members collectively, we start pushing back against this thing.

00:13:45.360 And that's where the enlisting more men into this movement is so critical to that.

00:13:52.540 And just as a reminder to you guys, like that's our ask here, right?

00:13:55.860 Like subscribe to YouTube, share a message on the YouTube video, share this podcast episode.

00:14:00.360 I mean, there's lots of ways that you guys can help.

00:14:02.300 And also this growth.

00:14:03.780 So, yes.

00:14:04.100 And this week, leave a rating review.

00:14:05.660 We really need you to leave a rating review.

00:14:06.980 Like there's a big push because we had Ethan Suplee on the podcast, which is awesome.

00:14:12.880 We're getting so much positive feedback on that one right now.

00:14:15.860 If you don't know who he is, he's an actor.

00:14:17.400 He was on Boy Meets World, American History X, Mall Rats, Without a Paddle.

00:14:24.300 Like you guys all know who this is.

00:14:25.840 Yeah.

00:14:26.000 And he has the American Glutton podcast.

00:14:27.840 And he's lost over 250 pounds in an environment where in Hollywood, there was a lot of people who actually had a vested interest in him being very, very unhealthy.

00:14:39.400 Yeah, because that's his angle, right?

00:14:42.120 That's his angle.

00:14:43.060 That was his role.

00:14:43.940 And so I even asked him.

00:14:45.060 I said, well, it was very hard.

00:14:46.700 I was wondering what I wanted to ask, but this is a real question.

00:14:49.100 I said, what is it like to be, you know, cast as the fat guy?

00:14:52.620 I've always been curious about that.

00:14:54.100 You know, there's somebody who's always cast as the fat guy or the ugly person.

00:14:58.440 Like, what does that feel like?

00:15:00.360 You know?

00:15:00.620 So it was, it was a good.

00:15:03.180 So anyways, on the back of that, ratings and reviews will help promote and boost the visibility of what we're doing here.

00:15:10.560 Yeah.

00:15:10.760 That interview is super great.

00:15:12.300 It's super great.

00:15:12.740 Thanks, man.

00:15:13.160 Thanks.

00:15:13.520 Yeah.

00:15:13.720 All right.

00:15:14.360 Check this out.

00:15:15.180 You guys ready for Kip Sorensen to pronounce the name correctly where most of you had probably fell?

00:15:20.280 You're getting a little big.

00:15:21.420 You're getting a little big for your britches here.

00:15:22.920 It's only because I know a Joao, so I know how to pronounce it.

00:15:27.000 So Joao Lucas Silva, I just want to say thank you for this movement.

00:15:30.760 It's been a blessing in my life.

00:15:32.560 Hello from Brazil.

00:15:33.360 That's it.

00:15:33.780 I just want to pronounce the name correctly.

00:15:35.640 Joao.

00:15:36.160 How do you spell that?

00:15:37.140 Joao.

00:15:38.100 Joao?

00:15:39.360 Joao.

00:15:39.980 Yeah.

00:15:40.400 J-O-A-O.

00:15:42.420 J-O-A-O.

00:15:44.140 Yeah.

00:15:44.420 I would have butchered that one.

00:15:45.740 Yeah.

00:15:46.400 See?

00:15:47.040 Good job.

00:15:47.740 I'm learning.

00:15:48.180 I got a name.

00:15:49.060 Yeah.

00:15:49.420 Mike Collins, if you did have kids that were in public schools, how would you tell them to deal with bullies?

00:15:58.420 As a teacher, I've heard I've had a hard time with kids.

00:16:02.780 Tell me that their parents tell them to fight back because I agree with the parents if it's at last resort.

00:16:08.940 But I can't encourage that, obviously.

00:16:14.280 Why can't you encourage that?

00:16:16.540 To defend yourself?

00:16:18.360 Yeah.

00:16:18.600 I would do that.

00:16:19.120 I mean, if I was a school teacher, if I look, maybe bullying is like someone calling you names, right?

00:16:24.420 And it's not physical harm, maybe.

00:16:26.660 Yeah.

00:16:26.760 Well, that's different.

00:16:27.840 Not to start violence over attack.

00:16:28.700 That's different.

00:16:29.300 Yeah.

00:16:29.520 I mean, if somebody's calling you names, then you have to teach your kids to be resilient.

00:16:32.500 As a parent, you have to teach your kids to be resilient.

00:16:34.580 Like every little squawking, you know, a little bird over here talking about what they like or don't like about me doesn't get my attention.

00:16:42.680 And so I teach my kids that.

00:16:44.900 You know, I vividly remember conversations I've had in particular with Brecken when he was a little chubbier about like, oh, this kid made fun of me because I'm fat.

00:16:53.520 Okay.

00:16:53.720 Well, how did you feel about that?

00:16:54.800 Well, I didn't like it.

00:16:55.520 So what are you going to do about it?

00:16:57.460 Yeah.

00:16:58.160 Are you going to just complain about it?

00:17:00.180 Because there's really only two things you can do.

00:17:02.500 You can either accept it and demoralize yourself and just like take it or, or let it roll off your back.

00:17:10.100 I guess you could do that too.

00:17:11.160 And accept that you're fat and you're okay with it or lose weight.

00:17:15.080 Like those are the only choices.

00:17:17.040 Yeah.

00:17:17.920 And, but that's not comfortable because you want little Tommy not to say mean things to Brecken.

00:17:21.880 No, I want Brecken to be capable of emotionally and physically if needs be of handling it because I can't control little Tommy.

00:17:30.460 Yeah.

00:17:30.940 And there's Tommy's, whether you're a kid or a kid in your school or what, that's right.

00:17:34.960 So, so yeah.

00:17:36.480 I mean, should that happen?

00:17:37.840 No, but kids are little a-holes, man.

00:17:41.320 And so are adults, by the way.

00:17:43.160 Yeah.

00:17:43.780 Those are the kids that were a-holes now that are adults and they're a-holes and you can't control it.

00:17:48.960 So all that you can do is accept what they're saying as truth.

00:17:55.400 Don't accept, like people call me an asshole all the time.

00:17:57.900 I don't think I'm an asshole.

00:17:58.980 I can be one, but I don't think I am.

00:18:01.300 And therefore I don't have to accept their critique or criticism of me.

00:18:05.020 Yeah.

00:18:05.340 Or if I'm an asshole and I think I am, then I can either say, yeah, I'm an asshole, deal with it.

00:18:09.960 Or I can say, well, I don't want to be an asshole and I can fix myself.

00:18:12.920 Yeah.

00:18:13.100 Those are the only three options ever.

00:18:15.020 So as a school teacher, what do you do?

00:18:17.360 Yeah.

00:18:17.600 You teach your kids emotional resilience.

00:18:19.240 And also you make sure they understand how important PE is, physical exercise, being strong, nutrition, being capable, being athletic.

00:18:29.800 This goes for boys and girls, confidence.

00:18:32.300 Yeah.

00:18:32.600 You can teach all these things outside of the realm of fighting back.

00:18:38.240 You know, you teach them math and art and science and spelling and all these other things.

00:18:43.680 Well, and control of emotions, right?

00:18:45.900 Like, yeah.

00:18:46.560 Like we talk about, like, should you fight back if you're attacked?

00:18:49.700 Yes.

00:18:50.040 But what's also great is controlling your emotions.

00:18:53.300 So you're not fighting back from the perspective of anger, frustration, you know, or those emotional feelings.

00:19:00.060 It's actually from a result of defense.

00:19:03.340 Right.

00:19:03.920 Which doesn't necessarily have to be anger.

00:19:06.300 So, you know, what could be really cool depends on the age, you know, of course, how you would do this and what would be appropriate.

00:19:12.520 But, I mean, what would keep a school teacher from taking, you know, 20 minutes in the beginning of class or here's what I would probably do.

00:19:19.920 I would time it right before recess or lunch or whatever because that's where it's going to happen.

00:19:24.520 And so you time it out and you play out a scenario.

00:19:29.520 Hey, guys, let's just go through a scenario, you know, for the next 20 minutes.

00:19:33.600 We're done with math.

00:19:34.400 We're done with reading all this stuff.

00:19:36.600 Let's say you're on the playground and you're on the swing and somebody comes and yells at you, you know.

00:19:42.260 It's like, and then, like, play it out and get their answers.

00:19:45.040 Like, start getting their answers and get them involved in the process.

00:19:48.680 Man, I think you'd get a lot of buy-in if you did that right.

00:19:50.820 Of course, age appropriate.

00:19:52.860 Yeah.

00:19:53.080 And it would be a good thing.

00:19:54.540 But deal in reality.

00:19:55.780 Yeah.

00:19:56.480 I mean, that's the truth.

00:19:57.400 And you're not going to control little Timmy.

00:19:58.960 Yeah, you could physically if you needed to.

00:20:01.200 If you were capable, you could.

00:20:02.260 Yeah, but that might just perpetuate something, you know.

00:20:06.040 Maybe.

00:20:06.460 Usually it doesn't.

00:20:07.540 Usually little Timmy or whatever his name is gets popped in the mouth and then he stops mouthing off.

00:20:11.760 Or he might fight back and you have to defend yourself.

00:20:14.560 And maybe you get beat up, but little Timmy ain't going to pick on you anymore, even if you get beat up.

00:20:19.260 Totally.

00:20:19.980 We were reading a book to the girls the other night, and I think it's applicable.

00:20:25.620 And it was a great lesson.

00:20:27.200 And this lesson was it was on the side of the girl, of the side of the kid hanging out with the bully, where they have friends and these friends were being mean to a new kid.

00:20:37.200 And they were calling her names and being mean to her.

00:20:40.400 And in the book or their story, it was from the perspective of this girl that necessarily didn't say nothing.

00:20:46.520 She didn't defend this girl, but we all know this, right?

00:20:50.800 Like if you're hanging out with people that are making bad decisions, even from a legal perspective, you're an accomplice, right?

00:20:58.440 Like you're guilty, right?

00:21:00.140 You didn't stand up for them.

00:21:01.720 You may not be the one that threw the stick, but, you know, you drove the car, right?

00:21:05.240 Or you may not have said the words, but you're still hanging out with them, maybe even laughed, right?

00:21:10.180 You're a participant.

00:21:12.280 And it was interesting is it was from this girl's perspective, and she felt bad and kind of came around and became friends with the new kid.

00:21:21.100 And I told my girls is the more important value of this lesson is that the new girl didn't retaliate because by not retaliating, it allowed this girl that felt bad to circle back around and establish a relationship.

00:21:39.740 If that new kid lashed out and was like calling them names and angry, that girl would have never like, she would have, it would have progressed her in the, in that area of bullying her even more.

00:21:53.980 Does it make sense?

00:21:55.320 Versus not, not lashing it out.

00:21:57.300 And so I'm like, there's, there's value in you being confident and, and even giving grace to people that like may come across rude because they might be feeling guilty about something, you know, or they may come to their own conclusion.

00:22:09.680 Of like, that was wrong.

00:22:11.040 But if you lash out before they come to that conclusion, then you just justified their actions.

00:22:16.720 Yeah.

00:22:17.180 I, I, I can see where, what you're saying would be right.

00:22:19.960 And I can see the other side of it too.

00:22:21.340 Like you have a right to defend yourself.

00:22:23.400 Yeah.

00:22:23.880 But I mean, yeah, I get, I, but I understand.

00:22:26.280 I understand the point, but I think what you're talking about here, let's paint this as a broader picture.

00:22:30.360 You're actually having these conversations with your kids.

00:22:33.620 Yeah.

00:22:34.060 Like how do you deal with this?

00:22:35.240 Yeah.

00:22:35.540 Right.

00:22:35.860 Here's a scenario.

00:22:37.000 Even if you got it out of a book, here's a scenario.

00:22:38.980 Here's a situation.

00:22:39.900 What would you do?

00:22:41.380 How would you handle yourself?

00:22:42.700 And a school teacher, a teacher can do that.

00:22:45.360 Totally.

00:22:46.300 A hundred percent.

00:22:46.840 A school teacher can do that without condoning violence or anything that might get them or

00:22:50.480 other kids in trouble.

00:22:51.340 You can work through scenarios with kids on emotional resilience, physical toughness, like

00:22:55.300 all of these things.

00:22:56.440 You just have to be a little creative.

00:22:57.860 And I love it is own what, what's it within your control, right?

00:23:00.940 Is, is kind of the lesson, which, which is so great, which I love Jocko's books on,

00:23:05.240 you know, warrior kid.

00:23:06.580 Cause I, I think those books are just perfect.

00:23:09.340 They are.

00:23:10.080 But so here's one thing I would say is I definitely recommend those books by Jocko and of course

00:23:14.980 others, but don't stop it at reading the book.

00:23:18.740 Like talk about the book, like talk about what actually happened.

00:23:22.140 Hey, in that situation, what would you have done?

00:23:24.940 How would you have had, what did you do?

00:23:26.600 Right.

00:23:26.860 What did you do wrong?

00:23:28.940 You just use that as fuel for the fire of the conversation that you should be having.

00:23:34.740 Don't think just because you're reading it, that this is enough, follow it up and have

00:23:39.160 some engaged conversation about it.

00:23:41.260 Yeah.

00:23:41.500 Yeah.

00:23:41.700 We've done that.

00:23:42.420 Like I'd pause and it's like, what do you think you should do?

00:23:45.900 Exactly.

00:23:46.280 I think you should do this.

00:23:47.460 You're like, all right, let's see what's reading, you know?

00:23:49.920 Yeah.

00:23:50.580 Yeah.

00:23:51.260 On that note, I'm going to crack open my discipline go today that I brought.

00:23:55.140 I know I'm, I just got reloaded, restocked.

00:23:57.900 Oh, bang, dude.

00:23:58.680 No, come on now.

00:23:59.820 Sacrilegious.

00:24:02.080 Holy cow.

00:24:03.500 What flavor you got there?

00:24:05.380 This is a afterburner orange.

00:24:07.300 I actually am not an orange drink kind of guy.

00:24:10.580 Yeah.

00:24:11.420 I don't like orange drinks except for this one is really good.

00:24:15.400 This is probably my favorite.

00:24:17.220 This one and then sour apple sniper, which is JP's.

00:24:20.520 This one's Dave Burke's, but JP's is really good too.

00:24:23.880 But I think Dave Burke slightly edges out JP.

00:24:28.640 All right.

00:24:29.640 Late in bash.

00:24:30.820 How does a 24 year old come back from basically a divorce?

00:24:36.140 How does he recover?

00:24:38.820 Man, you're 24.

00:24:40.860 I know.

00:24:41.580 That's what I thought.

00:24:42.360 I thought, I mean, I'm not trying to make light of it.

00:24:44.040 I'm not, I'm not at all.

00:24:44.840 Like your life is just beginning, man.

00:24:47.160 When did you get divorced, Kip?

00:24:48.360 How old were you?

00:24:50.380 Roughly.

00:24:51.480 24.

00:24:52.300 I think.

00:24:52.620 Were you really?

00:24:53.880 Yeah.

00:24:54.100 How'd you, how'd you come back?

00:24:55.620 How'd I come back?

00:24:56.460 I ran.

00:24:57.220 I cried.

00:24:57.880 I felt sorry for myself.

00:24:59.520 And then?

00:25:00.280 Became a victim.

00:25:01.120 No, I'm still that all that way.

00:25:02.960 Yeah.

00:25:03.300 Yeah.

00:25:03.520 But less so.

00:25:05.260 I mean, I get to see, I see glimpses of that in you for sure.

00:25:08.220 When you email me like this guy said something mean to me on, on Facebook about my response.

00:25:13.200 You know, I think it's, I, you know, we, we talk about this all the time and let me ask

00:25:18.800 the question this way.

00:25:20.420 How do you come back from mistakes and regrets?

00:25:25.520 Fix them.

00:25:26.900 Fix them.

00:25:27.540 Yeah.

00:25:27.840 And you grow from them.

00:25:29.300 That's the only thing you can do.

00:25:30.760 What's the other alternative?

00:25:31.940 Check out.

00:25:33.060 Yeah.

00:25:33.940 So like I'm out, you can check out emotionally, you can check out physically and, and I'm not,

00:25:38.580 of course, I'm not condoning that I'm saying, but that is a route that people have chosen

00:25:43.540 to take.

00:25:44.300 So you could do that or you could re-engage.

00:25:47.140 You could take responsibility for your heirs, not hers, by the way, like, you know, you're

00:25:54.680 not all, it's not all on your shoulder.

00:25:56.340 Some of it is absolutely not all of it.

00:25:58.660 So take what you can, put it on your shoulders and get better, improve.

00:26:04.740 When I went through the separation with my wife, I was, uh, late, late twenties, like

00:26:12.700 28, maybe 27, 28, somewhere in there.

00:26:16.460 How did I fix that?

00:26:17.660 I got friends.

00:26:18.680 I got hobbies.

00:26:19.640 I started listening to good information.

00:26:21.660 Uh, I surrounded myself with good people.

00:26:23.300 I hired a couple of business mentors.

00:26:25.260 I, I, I went to, I went back to church, got my financial stuff.

00:26:28.660 And affairs in order and started progressing and getting better.

00:26:32.920 And then things got better in my situation.

00:26:35.500 My wife and I were able to reconcile in, in your particular situation.

00:26:39.620 That wasn't the case, but you're a better man than you were at 24.

00:26:43.100 Without a doubt.

00:26:44.220 Without a doubt.

00:26:44.920 What's the alternative?

00:26:45.860 Not doing that.

00:26:47.540 Yeah.

00:26:48.280 Now I, I think you should give yourself a little time.

00:26:51.880 Of course, like I'm not telling you just, well, you just feel better.

00:26:56.120 Why can't you just feel better?

00:26:57.200 That's not what I'm saying.

00:26:58.660 You're going to feel like shit, man.

00:27:00.080 You just got railroaded.

00:27:01.120 That's hard.

00:27:02.200 I know, I know to a degree what that's like because of my own personal experience.

00:27:06.620 And so you don't have to pretend that doesn't exist.

00:27:10.260 You know, sometimes you're going to have to put on a happy face because you got clients

00:27:13.140 or people you're meeting with.

00:27:13.960 Sometimes you're going to have to do that.

00:27:15.260 But, but other times it's appropriate to have guys that you can, you know, talk with

00:27:18.820 and have conversations with and, and, and be, be, be raw about what you're experiencing.

00:27:24.860 And, and then just gradually you get better because you're focused on the right things

00:27:28.460 as opposed to dwelling on the past.

00:27:29.960 And I'll tell you what, you know, there's a lot of guys.

00:27:34.380 In fact, I had a conversation via Facebook with somebody this morning that they are, they

00:27:39.720 are so, they are dwelling on the past so much that they took this temporary negative experience

00:27:47.160 and they made it significantly worse because they just let it sit there and brew and get

00:27:53.200 toxic and gross.

00:27:55.220 And now they're dealing with that and they're blaming it on the original circumstance instead

00:28:01.140 of the fact that it's more a reaction to their previous circumstance.

00:28:05.800 That's caused the problem.

00:28:07.660 Totally.

00:28:08.360 Totally.

00:28:09.300 Well, and I think when we make, when we're, when I think when we're out of integrity, right,

00:28:13.840 which is part of not owning our mistakes, when we're out of integrity, you have to justify

00:28:20.180 it until you fix it and you'll continue to justify it.

00:28:24.440 You'll can, and not only will you continue to justify like where you're at in life is

00:28:28.980 because of this divorce that I'm in this circumstance or whatever, but then you'll even enlist people.

00:28:34.480 Oh, I'm going to tell my family, my friends and, and all those wonderful people that love

00:28:39.800 you so much.

00:28:40.400 And, and I'm saying that kind of in a mean way, but all those people that,

00:28:43.840 supposedly love and care about you so much, are all going to just feed you the lie, you

00:28:49.600 know, Ryan, I know, but that's not, don't stand up for you.

00:28:53.560 Right.

00:28:53.980 Like, yeah, they're not going to tell you the truth, but it's not that they don't love

00:28:58.080 you.

00:28:58.540 Yeah.

00:28:58.940 It's just because they don't want to feel uncomfortable and, and they don't know how

00:29:03.920 to deal with it themselves.

00:29:05.340 That's true.

00:29:06.060 That's true.

00:29:06.640 Cause they went through the same thing that you did.

00:29:08.480 I, I, I know what you're saying.

00:29:10.100 They're going to give you bad information, but it actually comes from a good spot.

00:29:14.260 It comes from a good place.

00:29:15.680 It's just not, it's not, it's not what you want.

00:29:18.620 It's not what you need.

00:29:19.820 Yeah.

00:29:20.180 It's not what you need.

00:29:21.280 I got to reiterate something though, Kip on this is, were you really 24 when you went through

00:29:25.800 your divorce?

00:29:27.120 Um, so let's just say this.

00:29:29.200 I'm, I thought I was 35 when I was actually like 38.

00:29:33.160 So I'm really bad.

00:29:34.400 Okay.

00:29:35.100 You were young, right?

00:29:36.580 Yeah.

00:29:36.840 I was, I was in my early twenties.

00:29:38.580 Yeah.

00:29:38.900 All right.

00:29:39.240 Look, I'm not trying to dwell on your situation, but I think this is really important.

00:29:43.480 Okay.

00:29:43.980 You were, you were early twenties.

00:29:46.260 You went through a divorce.

00:29:47.440 I know personally that it was hell on you.

00:29:49.740 Yeah.

00:29:50.200 And here you are at this point in your life and you get to talk with me every day.

00:29:57.300 It's the highlight of your life.

00:29:58.440 I know.

00:29:58.900 Yep.

00:29:59.220 Yep.

00:29:59.880 And you would have, and there's some other things that are probably exciting in there

00:30:03.860 too.

00:30:04.360 Yep.

00:30:05.200 And think about how far you've come in that timeframe.

00:30:07.700 So this gentleman should take hope in that, that you've been there.

00:30:12.860 I've been there.

00:30:13.880 I talk with guys every day who have been there and they're 10 years into this thing, five years

00:30:19.000 into this thing, 20 years into this thing.

00:30:22.020 And it's not even a, it's, it's just a little blip.

00:30:25.580 It's a momentary setback and they're better and they're, they've got a beautiful, you've

00:30:30.560 got a beautiful wife, you're married, you've got a beautiful family, you've got a great

00:30:34.520 career, you've got opportunities, you're fit, you're, you're financially successful.

00:30:40.120 You have all of that in spite of that little blip that happened all those years ago.

00:30:46.100 Yeah.

00:30:46.500 And that blip, just to be clear, destroyed me many ways.

00:30:50.580 Of course.

00:30:51.260 Like when I, when I got divorced, I had, I, yeah, of course I had child support and I

00:30:57.180 had, what's the other one that you pay alimony severance, severance package.

00:31:04.060 She had to give her a severance package alimony.

00:31:06.900 If you add those up, it was more than 50% of my paycheck.

00:31:12.840 When I did the math, I couldn't pay our mortgage period.

00:31:17.300 I couldn't pay the mortgage.

00:31:19.000 I couldn't pay the house that I was living in.

00:31:21.860 I couldn't pay the car.

00:31:23.460 I couldn't pay anything.

00:31:25.340 Yeah.

00:31:25.440 And I remember going to like, this is not possible.

00:31:29.120 Right.

00:31:29.600 And it wrecked, not just emotionally, but financially it was a disaster.

00:31:34.040 I mean, it was horrible.

00:31:35.820 Yeah.

00:31:36.100 It was, it was a really crappy time, but, but here's the deal.

00:31:39.140 And, and I, I think whenever we, we, we encounter something really, really difficult

00:31:45.600 that we're like, we're in the midst of it.

00:31:48.100 We're in the bot, we're in the jar.

00:31:49.800 And it's just like, oh man, this is like the hardest thing.

00:31:52.980 Make that the best thing that could have ever happened to you.

00:31:56.560 Like grow from it in such a way that you can almost not regret it, that you're almost happy

00:32:06.940 it happened because if it wasn't for that thing, you wouldn't be who you are today.

00:32:12.140 Right.

00:32:12.720 And, and I don't, we're talking about divorce here.

00:32:15.280 I don't care.

00:32:16.440 Make it about abuse.

00:32:18.160 Your mom and dad beat the shit out of you as a kid.

00:32:20.200 Make that the best thing that could have ever happened to you.

00:32:22.520 Cause it woke you up at cause you to, to grow into the man you are today.

00:32:28.500 The best way that we get past regret, the best way that we like deal with things is by

00:32:33.400 becoming better.

00:32:34.520 Yeah, absolutely.

00:32:36.660 Well said.

00:32:39.260 I need more.

00:32:41.060 Do you got an extra one of those?

00:32:43.360 You don't need any, you're fired up today.

00:32:45.580 You were worried about energy levels and now you're drinking fangs and everything else.

00:32:50.120 Getting angry.

00:32:50.820 Yeah.

00:32:51.240 Serious.

00:32:52.520 All right.

00:32:54.500 Take your, take a deep breath and proceed.

00:32:58.020 There we go.

00:32:58.640 Relax.

00:32:59.340 Breathe through it.

00:33:00.400 Kyle owes for old folk out there.

00:33:03.260 See, we're all back to normal now.

00:33:05.000 All right.

00:33:05.520 You need Brazilian names.

00:33:07.020 That's what you need.

00:33:08.040 I do actually, maybe a tips for a construction field superintendent to maintain respect from

00:33:14.460 his field staff.

00:33:15.460 When all the guys he manages are older than him by a lot.

00:33:19.680 We've addressed this one in the past.

00:33:24.720 I think we've had multiple conversations about this.

00:33:27.320 I mean, look, age is a hurdle.

00:33:29.480 Let's not pretend that doesn't exist.

00:33:31.620 People are going to look at you and you're still wet behind the ears and they're going

00:33:34.660 to wonder why you're telling them what to do, but just be the best person, the best contractor,

00:33:42.320 the best, whatever it is you're doing.

00:33:43.980 Just be the best at it and let your results speak, speak from there.

00:33:49.000 And in addition to that, be very careful of bossing people around.

00:33:54.700 In fact, if I, if I were you and I had guys that were younger than me, I would enlist

00:33:59.900 allies.

00:34:01.300 Hey, so let's take your art dynamic.

00:34:03.360 Yeah.

00:34:03.720 Yeah.

00:34:04.000 Let's say I'm your boss.

00:34:05.180 I'm 10 years, 15, whatever, younger than you.

00:34:07.460 Hey, Kip, um, as you know, uh, I'm the, I'm the supervisor or the contractor on this and

00:34:14.180 you're aware of that, but man, I gotta be really honest.

00:34:17.540 There's one element of this that I feel a little, a little in over my head or feel like

00:34:21.360 I'm in the deep water, but you know, you've been doing this a very long time.

00:34:24.140 And I'd like to ask your opinion, not look full disclosure.

00:34:28.260 Not that I can necessarily implement everything that you suggest, but man, I'd really like

00:34:32.540 your opinion or your perspective on how you would deal with this certain thing, this relationship

00:34:37.760 or this project or this little hoop that we need to jump through.

00:34:41.380 Cause you have way more experience in this department than I do.

00:34:43.740 Would you mind sharing that with me?

00:34:45.880 Man, ally, instant ally.

00:34:48.120 You can't go wrong with that.

00:34:49.500 Dude, you did not undermine your authority.

00:34:51.720 You reminded him of your position.

00:34:53.220 You were very clear and confident in that.

00:34:55.040 You're so confident in your position.

00:34:57.440 In fact, that you were willing to ask a subordinate quote unquote subordinate, what you could do

00:35:02.820 and how they could help that plays into his, uh, maybe a little bit of ego, maybe a little

00:35:08.220 bit of vanity.

00:35:09.200 There's nothing wrong.

00:35:10.240 This is the game.

00:35:10.960 It's genuine.

00:35:11.700 I'm, I'm, I'm like, of course it is.

00:35:13.260 This guy just wants to do a good job, right?

00:35:15.220 It's not about a power play.

00:35:16.580 He's not thinking he's superior.

00:35:18.560 And then also if, and when you implement that.

00:35:21.540 So let's say I implement your strategy and I'm talking with my bosses or other people.

00:35:25.040 It would be very tempting to say, yeah, we got it done.

00:35:28.080 It was hard, but we got it done.

00:35:29.120 No, that's the wrong way to do it.

00:35:30.920 You need to praise in public.

00:35:32.480 Hey, you know what?

00:35:33.480 Yeah, we got that done.

00:35:34.580 Thank you for acknowledging that.

00:35:35.760 But really I have to pass that on to Kip because that was actually Kip's idea.

00:35:40.480 I reached out to him because I knew he had a lot of experience in this and he brought,

00:35:44.140 excuse me, these three ideas to the table that, that were phenomenal.

00:35:48.040 We, we collectively decided to go with this one and, uh, you know, we made it happen,

00:35:52.040 but we, we got to get the props to Kip on this, dude.

00:35:56.920 If you do that every day, all day, and that's all you did, or, or, you know, you're working

00:36:02.040 with guys and, and they ask you a question like, Hey, you know, boss, what do you think

00:36:06.140 I should do?

00:36:06.640 And, and you turn it back and say, man, you've been doing this longer than I have.

00:36:10.720 Like, what, what would you do?

00:36:13.420 Well, I would do X, Y, and Z.

00:36:15.220 Great.

00:36:15.560 Yeah.

00:36:15.700 Why don't you do that?

00:36:16.980 Let me know how it goes.

00:36:17.780 If it turns out well, or if you're running into anything else, let me know.

00:36:20.360 We'll bring in some other help or figure out what we need to figure out.

00:36:22.580 But I like your course of action.

00:36:23.800 Yeah.

00:36:24.140 Do it.

00:36:25.220 Yeah.

00:36:26.920 I don't think you lose.

00:36:28.240 I mean, you're always going to have the guys talking behind you, but I'm telling you,

00:36:31.280 if you enlist enough allies, let's say if you got a crew of 10 and seven of them

00:36:36.300 or your allies, they're going to drown out the three, the three are going to quit.

00:36:40.440 They're going to leave or they're going to correct themselves.

00:36:42.460 Yeah.

00:36:42.860 Yeah.

00:36:43.080 And the opposite of this is you're overly concerned.

00:36:46.300 These guys are older.

00:36:47.740 I'm not as experienced as them.

00:36:49.420 So I'm going to prop myself up.

00:36:51.240 I'm going to be over domineering.

00:36:52.900 I'm going to pretend that I know something I really don't know.

00:36:56.220 They're going to see right through it.

00:36:57.820 And you're going to lose tons of respect.

00:36:59.980 And that, and that's why this advice is so counterintuitive because you're like,

00:37:03.740 I, okay, I'm just, I just natural.

00:37:06.120 Well, you think, yeah, you think if you flex, it's going to help you and it doesn't.

00:37:11.600 Yeah.

00:37:12.000 It's like a, it's like peacocking, right?

00:37:13.980 You know, you're just like, it's just, it doesn't work.

00:37:16.920 And you think you're fooling people.

00:37:18.400 You're not, everybody sees right through it.

00:37:20.320 Like you said, so just give credit where credit's due and list the list and list the

00:37:24.660 help of the other guys.

00:37:25.500 And you're going to, you're going to create some killer allies.

00:37:28.880 Yeah.

00:37:29.400 Or adversaries.

00:37:30.140 You're going to, you're going to create one or the other.

00:37:31.920 So pick which one you want.

00:37:33.820 Yeah, for sure.

00:37:34.800 All right.

00:37:35.440 Question by Reese battle team leader Reese here.

00:37:38.340 Is it possible to be intimate with a woman and pass the age of 40 asking for a friend?

00:37:45.220 I don't know.

00:37:45.920 I've never been with a woman over 40.

00:37:48.620 No, if you're over 40.

00:37:50.600 Oh, if I'm over 40, I don't know.

00:37:52.540 I'm not over 40.

00:37:53.840 Oh, okay.

00:37:55.060 All right.

00:37:55.660 I mean, I hope, you know, there's always, there's always, there's, I thought he was

00:38:01.500 talking about a woman over 40.

00:38:02.800 I'm like, my wife's not over 40.

00:38:04.500 And even if she was, I wouldn't say she was.

00:38:06.480 Look, I made a post the other day about hope and how like it, like your happiness is, and

00:38:16.800 even your, even your, your, your progress and your growth is contingent upon your level

00:38:22.940 of hope.

00:38:23.520 And guys don't like hearing that.

00:38:24.880 Cause we hear, you know, hope's not a plan.

00:38:26.440 Hope's not a strategy.

00:38:27.300 That's not what I'm saying.

00:38:28.520 I'm not saying just hope it'll all work out.

00:38:30.520 That's not what I'm saying.

00:38:31.440 But what I mean by hope is that you have at least some level of belief that getting out

00:38:37.740 of bed today will yield some sort of result.

00:38:40.420 Yeah.

00:38:41.220 That asking that woman on the date will potentially, she, she might say yes, you know, the slim

00:38:47.480 chance, but she might say yes, or asking for the promotion or starting the new business.

00:38:52.460 There's some element of hope in there.

00:38:54.660 Otherwise you wouldn't do it.

00:38:56.120 But I say this because as I'm about to turn 40 next week, I have hope that I'm still going

00:39:01.480 to be able to be intimate with my wife next week, as much as I am, if not more than I

00:39:07.320 am today.

00:39:08.440 Well, and, and to your point, like for guys that feel like they don't act on faith and

00:39:13.700 hope you do, there's no guarantees in life.

00:39:16.860 There's, there's all these things that we kind of take for granted.

00:39:20.380 You know, it's funny, like, think about it.

00:39:22.160 Like it's a new day and a new day kind of has a sense of renewal to it.

00:39:27.280 Right.

00:39:27.480 Like we kind of wake up, like we assume that when you lay down, you go to bed for some odd

00:39:31.540 reason.

00:39:31.860 It's like this fresh start says who the clock is still going.

00:39:37.020 What's changed other than there's like this, the symbolic sense of hope.

00:39:42.820 Right.

00:39:43.260 And I think the symbolism is important opportunity.

00:39:45.740 Yeah.

00:39:46.080 Yeah.

00:39:46.540 But you, but the cool thing about symbolism in that is anything can be a symbol.

00:39:51.040 So you get to create it.

00:39:52.320 Right.

00:39:52.980 So you, you could say, okay, well, my, when my alarm clock goes off in the morning, uh,

00:39:56.900 that that's symbolic of a new, a new day.

00:40:00.000 Uh, and that's a new opportunity.

00:40:01.640 Or you could say when I'm done with this podcast, after just listening to all of that and being

00:40:06.660 hopeful and optimistic, like I'm actually going to reset my life.

00:40:09.940 Or let's say you're an alcoholic and, uh, you hear from somebody who has been sober for

00:40:16.020 the past 12 months straight.

00:40:18.060 That's a symbolism of a new opportunity, a new beginning for you.

00:40:20.860 It's the same reason with Ethan earlier in the week when we had him on the podcast, let's

00:40:24.320 say you're 50, a hundred, 200 pounds overweight.

00:40:26.640 Listen to that podcast.

00:40:27.820 That's the reset.

00:40:28.640 And you also have to have continual resets because it's easy to slip back into, into

00:40:34.120 default mode.

00:40:34.900 So we're taking a very lighthearted question very seriously, but, uh, I think you guys get

00:40:39.000 the point here.

00:40:40.840 Dave Douglas, how to handle low testosterone.

00:40:44.340 I don't think we've ever had this.

00:40:46.060 We've never talked about this.

00:40:48.120 You and I, well, I mean, there's, there's natural ways to do it.

00:40:50.980 Number one, lose, lose weight, get physically strong, lock in your diet, compete.

00:40:58.640 And when there's been studies that suggest that even competing with other men and then

00:41:02.920 winning, have sex, be intimate with your partner.

00:41:07.320 These are all ways to naturally increase your testosterone.

00:41:11.520 Get the testosterone shirt and just read the instructions on the back.

00:41:14.480 It's as simple as that.

00:41:15.500 And you're Doug.

00:41:16.200 Yeah.

00:41:16.600 And people either love or hate that shirt, but it's all true.

00:41:19.940 That's store.orderofman.com.

00:41:22.140 And it's not even there anymore.

00:41:23.800 Oh man.

00:41:24.700 Really?

00:41:25.000 We did a limited, we did a limited over and over again.

00:41:28.020 I'm glad I got one.

00:41:29.320 Yeah.

00:41:29.560 So, but when the other thing I think we have to keep in mind, like I, this crosses my mind

00:41:33.800 every single time I go to the fridge here in the office and I see one of those frozen

00:41:37.040 burritos.

00:41:38.420 Yeah.

00:41:38.780 I'm like, Oh, that's a quick eat.

00:41:40.460 That thing's packed with like estrogen.

00:41:43.220 Yeah.

00:41:43.680 And there's a, they're called a, what do they call them?

00:41:48.320 Endocrine disruptors, I believe is what they're called.

00:41:50.820 Where they actually like the chemicals in your shampoos and your soaps and things like this

00:41:54.920 actually disrupt.

00:41:56.140 Okay.

00:41:56.460 I'm not an expert on this stuff, but the way that I understand it is that testosterone,

00:42:00.440 a hormone binds to parts of your elements of your, your, your body.

00:42:06.680 Again, I'm not an expert, so people are listening to you're butchering this, but it binds to

00:42:10.860 it.

00:42:11.100 But if you have these disruptors, these chemical disruptors, then the testosterone can't bind

00:42:16.600 to these particles in your body.

00:42:18.100 And therefore you have low testosterone.

00:42:21.000 There's other reasons, but that's one of the reasons.

00:42:23.760 So yeah, you're talking about these endocrine disruptors that are very real.

00:42:27.680 Totally.

00:42:28.240 Well, and, and then, and, and I just, this crosses my mind, right?

00:42:32.000 Because I think some guys are like, there's a couple of things is like, we all assume

00:42:35.400 that we might all assume that we have low testosterone.

00:42:37.860 So it's like, oh, I need, I need to get supplements.

00:42:40.280 And you're like, okay, hold on.

00:42:41.520 Wait, do you know that?

00:42:42.520 So you should probably have some blood work done.

00:42:44.080 Yes, of course.

00:42:44.940 And even validate that's the case.

00:42:46.580 And then what are you doing to make a difference about it?

00:42:49.040 And I, and I think in life, we always have these, we have these options, right?

00:42:52.560 We have the easy path and the harder path.

00:42:55.640 And, and sometimes we might be tempted to say, Hey, shoot me up.

00:43:00.080 Cause I'm low on T.

00:43:01.120 Meanwhile, we're not doing any of these things that we should be doing to begin with.

00:43:05.740 Right.

00:43:06.180 And so, you know, I, I, it's just, just be mindful not to take the shortcut or the easy

00:43:11.460 way route.

00:43:12.300 And, and it's not because that testosterone might be better.

00:43:17.120 There's other benefits, right?

00:43:18.980 Like if we do what you just said, Ryan, we're like, we're working out regularly.

00:43:22.660 We're, we're, we're being intimate with our wives on a regular basis.

00:43:26.060 Like if we're doing those things, guess what other things in life are going well, not just

00:43:31.180 my testosterone level increased.

00:43:32.780 Of course, other things are going well.

00:43:34.860 So there's, it's kind of like what came first, you know, the chicken or the egg, like, is

00:43:38.020 it the testosterone or is it the activity?

00:43:39.960 And actually the answer is to that question, it doesn't matter.

00:43:44.700 Yeah.

00:43:45.100 Cause they came together or one came first and the other didn't.

00:43:49.780 And it, the, regardless life is still the same.

00:43:52.840 Like, so people say, well, if I could increase my testosterone, then I'll be happier.

00:43:57.220 Or you can do other activities and, or you can just decide that you're going to be happier

00:44:01.880 by doing these things.

00:44:03.360 And then that will increase, increase your testosterone.

00:44:06.740 So, but I do like your idea.

00:44:08.360 You know, it's funny because people, exactly what you will say is they'll say, well, you

00:44:12.520 know, I'm willing to do anything.

00:44:13.700 And then you give them a list of things to do.

00:44:14.940 They're like, I'm willing to do that.

00:44:17.700 You know?

00:44:18.320 Yeah.

00:44:18.540 And so we, we all know what it is.

00:44:22.000 I I'll give you a very vivid example.

00:44:23.920 I've, I've actually never had my testosterone checked.

00:44:27.100 Um, but one health example of what we're talking about is years ago when I weighed 235 pounds

00:44:33.800 as a man who's five 10 and probably I would say a healthy weight for me would be one 75

00:44:38.480 to one 80 would be like a healthy weight for me.

00:44:40.920 So I was 235 pounds.

00:44:42.700 Uh, I had sleep apnea.

00:44:46.060 I would literally rub holes in my bed sheets because my legs would twitch all night.

00:44:53.440 Restless leg syndrome.

00:44:54.740 So my legs would twitch all night long.

00:44:57.980 I'd be shaking and moving my legs.

00:44:59.520 And then I would rub literal holes in my sheets.

00:45:03.480 And then I would wake up and sleep is like crap.

00:45:06.260 Exhausted, exhausted.

00:45:07.780 And so at, when people hear that sleep apnea, Oh, CPAP, you need a CPAP machine.

00:45:12.860 And that's what the doctor said.

00:45:13.960 Oh, you get a CPAP, you know?

00:45:15.520 So you, so you wear that mask or whatever it is all over your face to get oxygen.

00:45:18.840 And I'm like, well, yeah, maybe, maybe.

00:45:24.000 So then I started losing weight.

00:45:26.120 Guess what?

00:45:26.620 I don't have anymore.

00:45:28.300 I don't have sleep apnea.

00:45:30.120 I don't have restless leg syndrome.

00:45:32.000 I sleep for the most part, unless I'm stressed out about things or whatever.

00:45:34.700 I sleep pretty good.

00:45:37.260 And, and this is not medical advice.

00:45:39.220 Let me throw that disclaimer out there.

00:45:40.480 Yeah.

00:45:40.640 Yeah.

00:45:41.180 Okay.

00:45:41.440 Cause I know that there's situations which may require some medical intervention, but

00:45:46.740 the low hanging fruit is losing weight.

00:45:50.780 Cause if you have 20 or 30 pounds around your neck like this and around your chest and your

00:45:58.620 stomach all night for seven, eight, nine hours a night, your fat, your body is literally

00:46:05.780 trying to kill you because it, is it any wonder you're tired in the morning or that you can't

00:46:12.500 breathe?

00:46:12.900 You have a layer of fat around your neck.

00:46:15.620 Yeah.

00:46:16.020 Your, your lungs are, are under so much stress and pressure because you're fat and you wonder

00:46:23.400 why you can't get oxygen.

00:46:24.440 Come on.

00:46:25.060 Yeah.

00:46:26.260 Well, and it's, and back to what I was saying.

00:46:28.740 Okay.

00:46:29.380 If you got the machine, great.

00:46:30.900 You might sleep better, but all the other benefits of getting in shape, you're not going

00:46:36.640 to be able to take advantage of, right?

00:46:38.480 Like there's, there's, there's, I mean, I even, when I hurt my wrist, I don't even take

00:46:43.560 a cortisone shot.

00:46:44.800 Cause I remember the doctor's like, it's fine.

00:46:47.260 It's not broken or whatever.

00:46:48.280 We can give you a cortisone shot.

00:46:49.480 I'm like, what's that going to do?

00:46:50.920 Well, it's going to reduce that pain.

00:46:52.400 And I'm like, but if I don't feel that pain and I keep training, what happens in six months?

00:46:58.720 Well, you're going to want to stay off of it because it's going to get worse.

00:47:01.220 And I'm like, I want the pain.

00:47:03.180 Right.

00:47:03.600 Cause then your body can tell you, then I know, like, don't do that.

00:47:06.760 Right.

00:47:07.360 But so what's the health benefit?

00:47:10.020 There's not one.

00:47:10.900 If anything, that shot was going to be a drawback to me because I wasn't getting the signals

00:47:15.340 I needed from my body to say, stay off that wrist.

00:47:18.120 Right.

00:47:18.480 You know, so that's, that's a really good point.

00:47:21.220 That's a valid point.

00:47:22.340 I think if we were to wrap this up, here's what I would say is, is the device I gave you

00:47:26.480 is get your nutrition dialed in, get your fitness in check, compete.

00:47:30.860 No, it's good.

00:47:31.720 Compete with other men.

00:47:33.520 Be intimate with your, with your wife.

00:47:35.920 Yeah.

00:47:36.900 And in addition, go have your testosterone levels checked and you can consult with a physician

00:47:44.520 about TRT testosterone replacement therapy.

00:47:46.720 You can talk with them about that.

00:47:48.600 That's not a recommendation I would make.

00:47:51.060 Cause I just don't know enough about anybody's personal situation.

00:47:53.940 I would, I definitely feel a hundred percent confident in recommending the five or six things

00:47:58.080 I just told you.

00:47:59.040 Cause I know that will help, but there might be other things, but you're going to have

00:48:03.320 to talk to your physician on that one.

00:48:04.940 Yep.

00:48:06.440 Tim, Catherine, if you had to deal with a life altering disability, how would you proceed

00:48:12.580 with teaching and leading your family, grandkids, and others?

00:48:15.600 I would show them how a life altering disability can actually, you can overcome it.

00:48:22.900 You can be better, rise above it.

00:48:25.260 Yep.

00:48:25.560 You can be, you can improve.

00:48:26.860 You can do amazing things in spite of some, some perceived disadvantage.

00:48:32.580 You know, we had Madison Cawthorne, youngest United States Congressman.

00:48:36.240 He's, he's paralyzed from the waist down.

00:48:38.740 He's the youngest Congressman.

00:48:40.500 He's, he's doing amazing things.

00:48:41.720 You know, we, we, we've had, we've had a guy, Eric Weinermeyer blind, a hundred percent

00:48:47.320 blind, legally blind.

00:48:48.720 He hiked the seven tallest peaks on each continent.

00:48:54.940 The seven tallest peaks on each continent.

00:48:57.060 And he, he kayaked down the Colorado river blind, unassisted by himself.

00:49:05.700 He had a radio, if I remember correctly, when we had him on the pod, I think he had a radio

00:49:10.460 and he had spotters.

00:49:12.300 They were in other kayaks next to him or wherever they were.

00:49:14.840 And they would say, Hey, paddle left, paddle, right, paddle hard, ease back, turn, whatever,

00:49:19.280 whatever advice they were giving him.

00:49:20.700 But he did it on his own.

00:49:22.960 We had Travis Mills.

00:49:24.720 He's one of, I believe, if I remember correctly, five, uh, quadruple amputees from the Iraq war

00:49:33.080 who lives a great life, has a beautiful family.

00:49:38.580 We just spent some time.

00:49:39.560 We had dinner with him and some other friends about a week ago.

00:49:42.160 Uh, he has the Travis Mills foundation, which is an organization that teaches disabled veterans

00:49:48.220 and their families how to readapt and readjust to life and everyday ordinary activities, including

00:49:52.500 just living their lives.

00:49:55.000 You know, we've had, uh, Omar crispy.

00:49:57.580 A lot of you guys know crispy.

00:49:58.640 We've had him burns all over his body.

00:50:02.220 Yeah.

00:50:03.080 You know, and, and, and the wonderful things that he's doing just through being funny,

00:50:07.900 like entertaining people, making people smile and laugh and being helpful.

00:50:13.420 And how do you, how do you teach people what to do in these life altering situations?

00:50:20.480 Like you said, you rise above it.

00:50:22.380 You, you, you show them what's possible.

00:50:24.720 You live an extraordinary life.

00:50:26.880 And then everybody will say, as opposed to probably ignoring you, frankly, I think a

00:50:31.620 lot of people who are disabled, who have injuries like this, get overlooked and ignored instead

00:50:35.840 of that.

00:50:36.540 They're going to say, look at that guy.

00:50:39.260 What's my excuse?

00:50:40.720 Nick, Nick Santana Stassos, I believe is how you say his name.

00:50:43.500 Another guy, he was born, uh, with, without legs.

00:50:46.880 And I think he's got one arm, if I remember correctly to his elbow, and then one up by

00:50:51.020 his shoulder, basically like a, a nub or a stump.

00:50:54.560 And one of the most, he's a bodybuilder.

00:50:57.560 He's a motivational speaker.

00:50:59.640 One of the most inspirational dudes ever, uh, Kyle Carpenter, youngest living medal of

00:51:06.680 honor recipient burned all over his body.

00:51:09.180 Now he, he, I think he has one, one fake eye, but his jaw was ripped from his face.

00:51:17.100 He broke all of his ribs, burned all over his body because he jumped on a grenade.

00:51:24.120 Like that kid is, and I say kid, it's probably not the right thing to say, but he's young,

00:51:30.860 but he is an extraordinary man.

00:51:34.080 He's one of the kindest, nicest, inspirational, motivating people I've met in my entire life.

00:51:41.120 And, and I was going to say, in spite of what these guys have gone through, I actually don't

00:51:44.740 think it's in spite of it.

00:51:46.000 I think it's because of it.

00:51:49.220 That's why they're so inspiring.

00:51:50.840 You take a guy like me who let's be honest, I'm a pretty ordinary average guy grew up in

00:51:56.860 a pretty ordinary average household, did some ordinary average things.

00:52:00.480 You know, I'm not particularly amazing at any one thing.

00:52:05.660 I'm good at some things.

00:52:06.800 I'm not so good at others.

00:52:08.800 I'm not going to be nearly as inspirational as, as, as Kyle or Omar or, uh, Eric or any

00:52:15.660 of these other guys I talked about, because those are extraordinary people.

00:52:19.620 Those are the guys who are overcoming tremendous odds.

00:52:22.160 Those are the guys that I want to talk with because I'm inspired by what they're doing.

00:52:25.300 Not some ordinary guy who happens to have a podcast.

00:52:29.260 Like anybody could do that.

00:52:31.120 These are people are not anybody.

00:52:32.860 And I think that's very inspiring.

00:52:34.280 And I know, I know with a hundred percent certainty it's possible because I've had very real and

00:52:39.040 deep conversations with these individuals.

00:52:41.380 Yeah.

00:52:42.120 And I think those individuals help, help me realize just, you know what I mean?

00:52:46.040 How good life is, but also how minute my excuses are, you know, it's just like,

00:52:53.520 yeah, you want some perspective.

00:52:54.480 I have no barriers, you know, in comparison.

00:52:58.480 Yeah.

00:52:58.960 No excuses.

00:53:00.180 Yep.

00:53:01.280 All right.

00:53:01.860 A couple more.

00:53:02.580 Yeah.

00:53:03.100 Chris Gatchko has a question.

00:53:04.600 He says with so little time left on earth, are you going to maybe do a 45 day battle planner

00:53:10.360 just in case?

00:53:11.900 What is it with these guys?

00:53:17.320 How old is Reese?

00:53:18.460 I want to know how old Reese is.

00:53:19.740 And I want to know how old Chris is.

00:53:21.960 Those guys are older than I am.

00:53:25.460 But to answer your question, yes, we are going to do that.

00:53:28.020 It's, it's now a 30 day battle planner guys.

00:53:30.720 Sorry.

00:53:31.040 If you're 40 and older, you could use the shortened one so you could finish it before

00:53:36.780 you die.

00:53:37.580 Actually, if you're over 40, if you're over 40, just send us a message and we'll give

00:53:42.440 you a 10% senior discount on your, on your purchases.

00:53:46.280 All right.

00:53:46.960 Well, why we're at it, Bubba actually had a question as well.

00:53:49.580 He said, now that you're 40 and you have a blue belt, do you plan to keep training or

00:53:53.780 are you tapping out?

00:53:55.940 I'm not 40.

00:53:57.320 I'm still not 40.

00:53:59.020 I got one week.

00:54:00.220 Here's what I would say to Bubba.

00:54:03.320 Why don't you come up here and find out?

00:54:06.480 Cause last time you decided not to come up here.

00:54:11.300 Avoiding the role.

00:54:13.640 And then mocking down from Texas across.

00:54:17.120 He's, he's literally across the country and he's yapping.

00:54:20.600 All he has to do is come up here and we'll find out.

00:54:25.620 What else?

00:54:26.860 All right.

00:54:27.240 Barry King.

00:54:28.040 I can't get motivated for anything.

00:54:31.260 What's the best way to get motivated?

00:54:38.460 And so this is a hard one.

00:54:39.540 Cause I've never been.

00:54:40.780 Yeah.

00:54:41.520 I've, I've never been in a position where I haven't been.

00:54:44.120 Look, I'm not always motivated.

00:54:45.420 Yeah.

00:54:46.420 But I've never been in a position where I haven't been at least excited to some degree about

00:54:51.660 something.

00:54:52.080 Like what gives you hope?

00:54:53.220 You know, we talked about hope earlier, hope earlier.

00:54:55.200 What, what even sounds remotely interesting?

00:54:57.040 You got to be interested in something.

00:54:58.600 And I know guys will say, well, I'm not passionate about that.

00:55:01.040 Or, you know, I'm not motivated about that.

00:55:03.840 You don't have to be supremely motivated about something to have some level of interest in it.

00:55:08.080 Like, just, just go give it a try, you know, throw your, throw your hat in the, in the ring

00:55:11.620 and give it a try.

00:55:13.780 Whether it's shooting or jujitsu, like we were talking about a second ago, or, uh, you

00:55:18.600 know, hiking, um, right writing.

00:55:22.120 There's a thousand painting.

00:55:23.640 There's a thousand different picking up the guitar, whatever.

00:55:27.560 If it just sounds remotely interesting to you, do it.

00:55:31.320 Just take one step and get, get rid of this mentality that we always have to be motivated

00:55:36.740 a hundred percent of the time for it to engage us.

00:55:39.420 Yeah.

00:55:40.060 You know, I, I like doing this podcast, but there's times where I'm like, I don't actually

00:55:43.960 want to do like today.

00:55:45.200 I'm, I'm, I'm excited to be here, but there's days where I'm like, you know, I'm not feeling

00:55:48.980 it today.

00:55:49.300 I'm, but I, but I do it because it's not necessarily the podcast.

00:55:53.440 The podcast is a medium for me to get information out of the world, which is what I really want

00:55:56.980 to do.

00:55:57.880 And so this is a medium, same thing with a book.

00:56:00.260 Now, when I wrote, I, and I've told you, I'm not, I wasn't particularly thrilled about

00:56:05.600 the writing process.

00:56:06.320 I'm still not, I don't like writing, but I do it because I know that it will lead to

00:56:11.460 an outcome that I'm after, which is getting more information like this into the hands and

00:56:15.700 heads of, of men.

00:56:18.200 So I do it.

00:56:20.220 Which I think is purpose, right?

00:56:21.920 Like, uh, Barry.

00:56:24.460 So in the iron council, which is our, um, our exclusive brotherhood, if you guys want

00:56:29.560 to learn more about that, go to order of man.com slash iron council.

00:56:32.940 Uh, last month we, we covered the book, the art of the impossible by Steven collar.

00:56:38.980 Yeah.

00:56:39.340 And if I remember correctly in one of the earlier chapters, he breaks us down.

00:56:44.120 Like what is motivation?

00:56:45.520 And he does talk about that.

00:56:47.420 There's an element of curiosity to it, uh, an element of purpose, something greater than

00:56:54.720 oneself.

00:56:56.140 And then there's also an element of like goal as in like clarity of direction of where

00:57:02.140 you're going.

00:57:02.980 And, and so I, I would suggest that like, uh, and, and there's a question on here on religion

00:57:09.780 and we, we didn't get to it, but like, that's why I like when, whenever I hear about like,

00:57:15.060 oh, are you religious?

00:57:15.860 And I, you know, churches, I'm like, you mean the idea that there's greater purpose to one's

00:57:22.940 life than just staying alive.

00:57:25.940 What a brilliant way to live, right?

00:57:28.480 Like awesome.

00:57:29.600 And, and everything I just heard you say, Ryan is like, I'm willing to do a podcast sometimes

00:57:33.900 when I'm not feeling like it, I'm willing to write a book.

00:57:36.200 Why?

00:57:37.000 Because I know I'm committed to a greater purpose, right?

00:57:41.480 I've, I have created, and by the way, created or chose, right?

00:57:46.720 It didn't like someone didn't reach down and say, Ryan, you're in charge of order, man.

00:57:51.460 Yeah.

00:57:51.740 You chose that as your purpose and you found something greater than yourself that is meaningful

00:57:58.300 enough to you that you're willing to do what's necessary to have perseverance and drive

00:58:03.740 towards a greater something, right?

00:58:07.820 Yeah.

00:58:08.280 You know, I like, I wrote down that you're talking about this, that three component thing.

00:58:11.900 So it's purpose.

00:58:12.800 What was it?

00:58:13.180 It was purpose, uh, goal, goal was the first one, curiosity, curiosity.

00:58:20.480 Yeah.

00:58:20.880 So you have curiosity, purpose, and goal.

00:58:22.920 And I wrote something down here with, with the goal element.

00:58:25.680 I wrote down mastery because sometimes you just do something to see if you can do it.

00:58:30.540 So let's take a book, for example, you start writing a book because you're like, I want

00:58:35.360 to be, I want to say, I wrote a book.

00:58:36.920 That's, that's enough.

00:58:37.940 That's okay.

00:58:38.720 That's fine.

00:58:39.500 Yeah.

00:58:40.060 You don't have to, or, or you picked up the guitar because you wanted to learn how to

00:58:43.940 play that one song for your wife's birthday.

00:58:45.760 And that's all that's, that's cool.

00:58:47.840 That's enough.

00:58:49.220 Yeah.

00:58:49.620 Or, or, or here's another one.

00:58:51.540 You want to go to jujitsu because you want to see if you can get a blue belt, if you can obtain

00:58:55.440 the rank of blue belt.

00:58:57.080 That's good.

00:58:57.720 Now, when you get there, don't quit, but if that gets you started and that gets you

00:59:02.680 on the path and you're like, no, I just, I want to accomplish that thing.

00:59:06.620 Then that's really good.

00:59:07.860 You should, you should do that.

00:59:10.160 Or, Hey, you know, like I want to run a, run a marathon because I've never done that.

00:59:14.160 And I want to see if I could do it.

00:59:15.660 That's enough.

00:59:17.040 Yeah.

00:59:17.620 And you should pursue that.

00:59:19.540 And at the end of it, you might say, I actually really liked that.

00:59:21.800 I'm going to do that again.

00:59:22.600 Or you might say that was miserable every minute of it.

00:59:24.280 I hated it.

00:59:24.740 I didn't enjoy it and I'm never going to do it again, but I did it and I'm better for

00:59:30.260 it.

00:59:30.460 And that's good.

00:59:31.680 That's a good thing.

00:59:32.420 Yeah.

00:59:33.020 Yeah.

00:59:33.440 And, and along the way we build confidence and we flex those muscles of persistence and

00:59:40.180 resilience and all kinds of other benefit, right?

00:59:42.740 Just because we're willing to try something.

00:59:45.280 And, and also the element of mastery too, is if you are involved in something that you

00:59:49.100 already enjoy, see if you can get better at it.

00:59:51.240 You know, if you're podcasting or you wrote a book or you're, you're doing this thing

00:59:56.580 at work and, uh, and, and it could be the most mundane of, of, of tasks, even at work.

01:00:02.300 If you just turn it into a game and you're like, okay, I did my assignment or I did my

01:00:05.400 task or I mopped the floor or I, whatever.

01:00:07.960 And I did it in this, this amount of time.

01:00:10.240 It took me 15 minutes.

01:00:11.040 Next time I'm gonna see if I can do just as good a job, but if I can do it in 12 minutes.

01:00:14.680 Yeah.

01:00:15.140 My, my son and I do that in the store all the time.

01:00:18.280 Yeah.

01:00:19.120 So we'll have, you know, this morning, I think we had 40 orders this morning that we placed

01:00:23.160 and we, we literally set a timer and we're like, all right, let's see how fast we can

01:00:30.780 do it.

01:00:31.680 And so we cranked it out and we wrote it on the board.

01:00:33.500 We're like, okay, there's our time next time we have.

01:00:36.560 And then we calculated how many orders versus how long it took.

01:00:39.760 And so we came up with a price per or a time per order.

01:00:43.240 And so next time we do it, we're like, okay, we got to beat a minute, a minute per order.

01:00:47.140 Can we do it in 50 seconds?

01:00:49.220 Mastery, right?

01:00:49.960 It actually makes it fun.

01:00:51.060 I'm like, cool.

01:00:51.560 Like, this is a, this is the thing that we can work towards and we can figure out, okay,

01:00:54.980 I got to stand there.

01:00:55.900 You got to stand there.

01:00:56.640 We got to have the boxes here.

01:00:57.680 Merchandise needs to be here.

01:00:58.880 Maybe that's over there, but it's more popular.

01:01:00.680 So it should be right here closer to us.

01:01:02.320 And so you figure stuff out and that's fun.

01:01:04.920 Yeah.

01:01:05.400 That's funny.

01:01:06.160 I used to, I don't know if you know this.

01:01:08.140 So my dad was a wild game butcher and throughout high school, I didn't know that.

01:01:12.700 Yeah.

01:01:12.900 I did.

01:01:13.040 Yeah.

01:01:13.160 That was kind of my day.

01:01:14.200 I mean, during deer season, I just come home and I just have this line of, of, this is a

01:01:19.600 lovely room of death.

01:01:21.120 Yeah.

01:01:21.760 But, but I, I used to do that.

01:01:23.580 I had a, I had a timer and I'd be like, all right, I got skinning in a deer down to five

01:01:28.580 minutes.

01:01:29.360 Dang.

01:01:29.780 That's good.

01:01:30.120 I had like an L time, you know, I was getting good at it, you know, but it was fun.

01:01:34.500 Like I almost looked forward to it.

01:01:36.540 Yeah.

01:01:37.320 Yeah.

01:01:37.720 Even, even training this morning, when I went into training, I always go in with a

01:01:41.480 goal.

01:01:42.340 And so I, so I, I don't know what it is, but when I train with Brody in the morning, very

01:01:49.920 rare exception in the first one or two roles, he takes my back with very rare exception.

01:01:56.580 I don't know why it is.

01:01:58.280 Yeah.

01:01:58.520 It's very strange somehow.

01:02:00.060 Yeah.

01:02:00.240 I think maybe I'm, I'm, yes, I'm giving up my back.

01:02:02.640 I think he's, he's got a lot of energy when he starts, or, you know, maybe I'm trying

01:02:07.080 something that I learned over the course of the last couple of days and it didn't work.

01:02:11.700 And so he, he just takes my back.

01:02:13.500 So this morning when I went in before I got in there, I'm like, okay, my goal in the first

01:02:18.660 round is not to let him take my back.

01:02:21.820 Yeah.

01:02:22.140 And that became motivating.

01:02:23.060 I was like, cool.

01:02:23.720 Okay.

01:02:24.100 Well, I got to protect my back today.

01:02:25.300 So maybe I pulled guard, you know, I tried some different things or whatever, but I'm

01:02:28.640 like, he's not getting my back today.

01:02:30.080 And that made it fun and exciting outside of the fact that it already is.

01:02:33.920 Yeah.

01:02:34.400 That's cool.

01:02:35.180 Oh, I trained with Jack Donovan actually this past weekend.

01:02:38.600 You try.

01:02:39.280 Is he a handful?

01:02:40.740 Dude.

01:02:41.620 Well, we're talking about goals.

01:02:42.900 I was just like, I just want to sweep him.

01:02:45.280 He is a, he is a brick, a boulder, a movable boulder.

01:02:50.580 So did you sweep him?

01:02:51.600 Did you, did you get to sweep him at all?

01:02:53.080 I don't want to be, I don't want to be like running my mouth on a podcast.

01:02:56.300 So you swept him just in case you, I may have gotten a few sweeps on it.

01:02:59.800 All right, cool.

01:03:00.720 But yeah, but he's also just getting started.

01:03:02.480 I think too, he is going to be a force to be reckoned with.

01:03:05.300 Yeah.

01:03:05.760 Yeah.

01:03:06.120 And, and they trained to, to attack.

01:03:08.320 So him and I were, were training for a while.

01:03:11.540 I was like, oh, so you don't stop until.

01:03:14.640 Somebody taps.

01:03:15.740 No timer.

01:03:16.420 Is that what you're saying?

01:03:17.580 Exactly.

01:03:18.180 I've never known that before.

01:03:19.300 You just go until you tap.

01:03:20.600 And so, so my round with him was a long round.

01:03:23.840 Cause how long I was trying.

01:03:25.640 I don't know.

01:03:26.300 It felt like 20 minutes.

01:03:27.600 I was just like, oh my gosh, I'm getting tired.

01:03:30.760 Yeah.

01:03:31.160 I don't think he is getting tired.

01:03:33.180 Yeah.

01:03:33.540 Clint, I think Clint was telling me that he may be trained with him too.

01:03:36.900 Yeah.

01:03:37.340 Yeah.

01:03:37.620 Clint was there.

01:03:38.560 It was there.

01:03:39.220 Yeah.

01:03:39.780 Yeah.

01:03:40.600 Yeah.

01:03:40.840 Talking about Clint.

01:03:41.680 I get his back all the time.

01:03:43.080 Yeah.

01:03:43.400 He just grabbed his beard and swing around the back of him.

01:03:47.600 All right.

01:03:48.040 One more question.

01:03:48.820 You don't want to talk shit.

01:03:49.960 And then you don't want to talk shit on anybody who can kick your ass.

01:03:53.200 The other guys you don't care about.

01:03:54.760 I don't want to talk shit about Jack Donovan.

01:03:55.700 Clint, I'll talk shit about.

01:03:59.000 All right.

01:03:59.500 One more.

01:03:59.900 Let's go.

01:04:00.220 Jack might scare me a little.

01:04:01.600 Yeah, for sure.

01:04:02.560 He's coming on the podcast.

01:04:03.600 We've got a podcast being released with him soon.

01:04:05.100 Oh, super funny.

01:04:06.120 All right.

01:04:06.600 So Drew has our last question here.

01:04:08.460 He says, do you turn down the lights for economical reasons or to be romantic?

01:04:13.940 And is it because you're getting older?

01:04:17.400 I have.

01:04:18.300 My wife has never accused me of being a romantic.

01:04:21.440 So we can just check that one.

01:04:22.900 It's always economical reasons.

01:04:24.900 Dude, I swear my life, any dad can relate with this.

01:04:28.380 My life at home literally consists of me turning down the thermostat and turning off the lights.

01:04:34.080 I swear, man.

01:04:35.580 That's it.

01:04:36.060 That's all I do around the house.

01:04:37.860 Because if I did anything else, I just don't have time to do anything else.

01:04:41.900 I'm literally following people around, turning the dang lights off everywhere I go.

01:04:47.120 In fact, when I go out there, I already know the hall light, the bathroom light, my daughter's light, the night light, the attic light that nobody even goes up there ever is going to be.

01:04:57.340 The porch lights are probably still on.

01:04:59.000 I just know.

01:04:59.480 Yeah.

01:04:59.780 I know.

01:05:00.020 If I have to catch some emails late in the night and everyone goes to bed before me, that's a major trigger for me.

01:05:08.100 I'm like, okay, I'm going to go to bed.

01:05:10.200 And I walk around and everything's on.

01:05:11.660 I'm just like, oh.

01:05:13.780 So when I come home.

01:05:15.560 No, when I come.

01:05:16.620 You're right.

01:05:17.140 When I come home from training, I know the pattern, right?

01:05:21.420 So what I do when I come home from training is I usually come home in the evening and I walk straight to the kitchen.

01:05:25.360 I walk from the barn to the kitchen and so there's the barn door light.

01:05:30.640 There's a light in the barn.

01:05:32.240 There's the mud light that goes from the barn to the room.

01:05:36.400 There's the mudroom light.

01:05:37.600 There's a laundry room light.

01:05:38.760 There's a living room light.

01:05:39.960 There's the schoolroom light.

01:05:41.140 There's the hall light and the bathroom light.

01:05:42.980 And finally, you get to the kitchen.

01:05:44.620 I am to the point now where I'm such a light Nazi that I count all of the lights that I had to turn off on the way there.

01:05:54.300 I think my record is eight.

01:05:57.980 And then I just ridicule everybody about it and they laugh and mock me and then do it again the next day.

01:06:05.600 Wait until you put a projector in your house and then you're just going to lose your mind.

01:06:09.060 A projector?

01:06:10.080 What do you mean?

01:06:10.680 Yes.

01:06:11.080 Like a TV projector?

01:06:12.560 Yes.

01:06:13.060 They'll leave the projector on and then the bulb gets blown out and I'm like, oh, that's only a thousand dollar bulb for the projector.

01:06:19.680 And then I'm just like really pissed.

01:06:21.720 They're like, dad, the light, the projector light went out.

01:06:24.400 Yeah.

01:06:24.780 Well, yeah.

01:06:25.660 Yeah.

01:06:25.920 Pay for it yourself this time.

01:06:27.240 Yep.

01:06:28.020 Jeez.

01:06:28.340 Here's a shovel you can play with in the backyard.

01:06:30.580 That's right.

01:06:32.600 All right, man.

01:06:33.460 Well, so we got some razzing in.

01:06:35.340 So April 3rd is Mr.

01:06:38.080 Don't stay the date, man.

01:06:42.040 Why would you do that?

01:06:43.800 Happy birthday.

01:06:44.800 Thank you very much.

01:06:45.940 It is coming up.

01:06:47.120 The big 4-0.

01:06:49.280 Yeah.

01:06:49.720 I was going to pose a question from a made-up source that, you know, about, is it true that

01:06:54.720 your scrotum drops down to your knees by the time you're 40?

01:06:58.840 But I figured it was inappropriate, so I didn't mention it.

01:07:03.920 Fair enough.

01:07:04.780 We'll leave my genitals out of the conversation.

01:07:10.200 On that note, guys, here's what I'd like you to do.

01:07:13.700 I'm going to close this thing out, Kip, because I didn't tell you.

01:07:15.780 There's two things I wanted to talk about.

01:07:17.400 We already talked about them.

01:07:18.280 I just want to reiterate.

01:07:19.280 Number one, leave a rating and review.

01:07:21.240 It goes a very long way.

01:07:22.140 It takes you a minute or two.

01:07:23.520 Wherever you listen, if you can do an iTunes one, we really, really prefer an iTunes one

01:07:27.620 because that's the largest podcast player at this point.

01:07:30.640 And that helps get the word out.

01:07:32.580 So that's number one, rating and review, simple, easy, do it.

01:07:36.200 Number two is the battle planning app.

01:07:38.180 Please go check that out.

01:07:39.320 There's a free version.

01:07:40.600 There's an upgraded version for that as well if you want to unlock all the features and

01:07:44.780 benefits.

01:07:45.820 And then if you are a member of the Iron Council, the battle planning app is actually included

01:07:52.060 in the membership.

01:07:54.120 So that's a cool thing.

01:07:55.640 So if you're already going to be a member of the Iron Council or have interest, join the

01:07:58.580 Iron Council.

01:07:59.060 We'll immediately get you linked up with the battle planner app.

01:08:02.640 And then also with that is then once you join a team in the Iron Council, the battle planning

01:08:10.220 app will sync directly with the rest of your teammates.

01:08:12.980 So not only on the app, do you have access to your records and your tracking?

01:08:17.260 Now you can see everybody on your team and you can help hold them accountable.

01:08:22.880 Let's say Kip, you and me and some other guys are killing it for the week and you see John

01:08:26.540 on there or Drew.

01:08:28.320 Let's say you see Drew on there slacking off.

01:08:31.740 You can call up Drew and say, what's up, man?

01:08:35.060 I haven't seen you check in.

01:08:36.420 Your numbers are low.

01:08:38.540 What's going on?

01:08:39.260 Can we help you with anything?

01:08:40.200 Everything all right?

01:08:40.900 You're dealing with something or what?

01:08:42.140 Vision's still okay?

01:08:43.500 Can you read okay?

01:08:44.260 Yeah, exactly.

01:08:46.400 I don't know.

01:08:47.080 I think Drew is quite a bit younger than us, but anyways, the battle planning app.

01:08:52.560 If you go to 12, the number 12, 12 week battle.

01:08:57.680 Now I'm confused.

01:08:58.780 This is what happens when you turn 40.

01:09:00.400 Yeah.

01:09:00.960 12 week battle planner.com.

01:09:03.480 The number 12, 12 week battle planner.com.

01:09:05.400 You can find it on Google and Apple.

01:09:08.600 Cool.

01:09:10.340 All right, guys.

01:09:11.400 Appreciate it.

01:09:11.980 Kip, appreciate you.

01:09:12.740 Always good to be back.

01:09:13.540 I like doing these things together.

01:09:15.040 We got to do them solo occasionally just to remind ourselves how good it is when we have

01:09:18.460 it together.

01:09:19.120 That's what I'm saying.

01:09:21.080 Anyways, appreciate you guys.

01:09:22.300 We'll be back on Friday.

01:09:23.140 Until then, go out there, take action, and become the man you are meant to be.

01:09:27.140 Thank you for listening to the Order of Man podcast.

01:09:30.020 You're ready to take charge of your life and be more of the man you were meant to be.

01:09:34.060 We invite you to join the order at orderofman.com.

01:09:37.180 Bye-bye.

01:09:53.480 Bye-bye.

01:09:54.100 Bye-bye.

01:10:02.900 Bye-bye.

Order of Man - March 31, 2021

Increasing Testosterone, Making Allies and Adversaries, and Coming Back From Divorce ｜ ASK ME ANYTHING

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