Order of Man - Internal Locus of Control, Victimhood Destroys You, and The Pitfalls of Sovereignty

00:00:00.000 Every dad can probably relate to this.

00:00:02.420 You go home, the room is clean,

00:00:04.580 we've set expectations and the room's not clean.

00:00:06.920 The natural default for at least me

00:00:09.080 is to raise my voice, to start belittling,

00:00:12.520 use some fear and uncertainty to get the room clean.

00:00:16.800 And that's the same thing that we do as leaders.

00:00:18.860 We lose sight.

00:00:20.140 We think it's about the project.

00:00:22.080 We think it's about the room being clean.

00:00:24.460 We think it's about the tactical things.

00:00:26.160 And we lose sight that the strategic win

00:00:28.920 is for us to focus on the individual.

00:00:32.960 You're a man of action.

00:00:34.620 You live life to the fullest.

00:00:36.080 Embrace your fears and boldly chart your own path.

00:00:39.000 When life knocks you down,

00:00:40.360 you get back up one more time, every time.

00:00:43.440 You are not easily deterred or defeated,

00:00:45.780 rugged, resilient, strong.

00:00:48.520 This is your life.

00:00:49.600 This is who you are.

00:00:51.020 This is who you will become.

00:00:52.760 At the end of the day,

00:00:53.620 and after all is said and done,

00:00:55.780 you can call yourself a man.

00:00:58.920 Kip, what's up, man?

00:01:01.720 Great to see you this Monday morning.

00:01:03.840 Good to see you.

00:01:05.860 It's a new year.

00:01:06.400 I don't think we have talked since New Year.

00:01:09.500 That's right.

00:01:10.100 We did the podcast.

00:01:11.820 Last week's Ask Me Anything came out on New Year's,

00:01:14.060 but we record on Monday.

00:01:15.180 So we recorded last year sometime.

00:01:17.560 Yeah.

00:01:18.420 And craziness on New Year's Eve and New Year's Day.

00:01:22.600 Like, I'm like, holy crap.

00:01:24.000 Oh, I know.

00:01:25.060 With a thing in New Orleans and then also in Las Vegas?

00:01:28.380 Yeah, totally.

00:01:29.700 Yeah, it's wild.

00:01:31.280 I know.

00:01:31.880 I haven't really stayed too much on top of that.

00:01:34.580 Everybody's talking about that right now.

00:01:36.180 I don't know.

00:01:36.660 I've never really got wrapped up.

00:01:38.200 I mean, there's some important things.

00:01:39.380 Don't get me wrong.

00:01:40.000 And I'm not saying we should be flipping about some of these things

00:01:42.660 because they represent real threats.

00:01:45.080 But I don't really know.

00:01:47.060 I guess I'm trying to find the balance between staying up to date,

00:01:50.920 staying apprised with that sort of information,

00:01:52.660 but also just focusing on being present for the people I love and care about

00:01:57.860 and working on my business, working on myself, working on my spirituality.

00:02:02.100 And I don't think they're mutually exclusive, right?

00:02:06.120 You can do both.

00:02:07.240 But I tend to migrate more towards I'm going to worry about me and mine

00:02:10.840 than all the other stuff that goes on.

00:02:13.100 Well, and we've seen guys that struggle with that, right?

00:02:15.600 They get too wrapped up into what's happening outside the realm of control

00:02:19.580 that it's disempowering almost and they get distracted

00:02:23.340 and then they're not taking care of themselves at the same time.

00:02:26.620 So certainly a difficult balance from time to time.

00:02:29.860 At least I struggle with it for sure.

00:02:32.340 Yeah.

00:02:32.880 No, I do too.

00:02:33.700 Well, the other part of it I think is that it's just hard to determine

00:02:37.220 what is true and what is not.

00:02:39.160 I mean, the distrust that we see in American media,

00:02:41.860 probably media globally as well,

00:02:43.580 the distrust in our elected officials and our representatives

00:02:47.160 is I think at an all-time high based on some statistics I've seen.

00:02:51.880 And I can't help but question literally everything anyone ever says

00:02:57.900 when I feel like there should be some sources of information

00:03:03.420 where you could take it at its face value,

00:03:08.620 but you just can't anymore.

00:03:09.980 I think COVID in a lot of ways broke –

00:03:13.560 it was already strained,

00:03:14.740 but I think COVID just broke that trust in our government and in our media.

00:03:20.060 And the other thing we see with the media is –

00:03:22.600 have you seen this?

00:03:23.260 They're all now coming out,

00:03:24.900 all these talking heads talking about how

00:03:27.620 they should have questioned harder about Biden's levels of competency

00:03:33.500 and his cognitive abilities.

00:03:35.280 Have you seen all of this?

00:03:36.220 They're all coming out now and saying we should have pushed harder.

00:03:38.960 I think Washington Post, LA Times, and maybe a few other sources.

00:03:43.220 They knew.

00:03:44.520 They knew.

00:03:45.300 You were just lying, just blatantly lying.

00:03:48.840 Yeah.

00:03:49.240 And that's what is just infuriating to me.

00:03:51.540 There's ignorance, which isn't always malicious.

00:03:54.500 It's just ignorance.

00:03:56.520 And then there's maliciousness,

00:03:58.020 where you're actually deliberately trying to deceive a group of people,

00:04:01.720 and that infuriates me.

00:04:03.980 Yeah, absolutely.

00:04:05.360 Any of those your headline today?

00:04:08.100 No, I don't actually have a headline.

00:04:09.900 I figured we'd talk a little bit about that.

00:04:11.940 And for me, the biggest thing –

00:04:14.980 I didn't pull out a specific headline,

00:04:16.800 but I just want to suggest to men that we stay extremely vigilant in public spaces.

00:04:22.480 Yeah.

00:04:23.100 You know, this thing in New Orleans,

00:04:25.620 you know, Bourbon Street, obviously it's packed.

00:04:28.080 But think about what men and women, people are doing there.

00:04:31.600 They're drunk.

00:04:33.260 They're doing drugs.

00:04:35.080 They're distracted with all the lights and all the music and everything else.

00:04:38.660 And I've been to Bourbon Street.

00:04:40.060 It's vile.

00:04:41.260 It's disgusting.

00:04:41.800 It's filthy.

00:04:42.960 They actually –

00:04:43.640 every single morning, as far as I understand,

00:04:45.760 they take a big water truck,

00:04:47.780 and they hose the storefronts off,

00:04:50.580 and the streets off from puke and everything else,

00:04:53.840 all the bodily fluids, I'm sure, that are just collected there.

00:04:56.920 But you're so distracted in a situation like that, you know,

00:05:01.240 and it's very hard to remain vigilant

00:05:03.580 and keep yourself and other people protected.

00:05:05.480 I would just suggest stay away from places

00:05:08.920 that you have a lower ability to protect you and yours.

00:05:12.540 Yeah.

00:05:12.740 And then in Vegas, you know, I think that was –

00:05:15.840 that was something that would be very hard to identify.

00:05:20.140 You know, you see this truck pull up,

00:05:21.980 and I think, if I understand correctly,

00:05:24.040 the guy who killed – who blew it up had already –

00:05:27.360 I think he had already shot himself before that truck blew up.

00:05:32.660 Yeah.

00:05:32.940 And so it would be very difficult.

00:05:34.300 You see this truck and a guy inside.

00:05:36.460 You don't know if he's shot or alive or dead.

00:05:38.300 It doesn't look out of the ordinary, I wouldn't say.

00:05:41.140 Yeah.

00:05:41.360 But, guys, get your head off of these cell phones out in public.

00:05:45.820 Sit in the right places.

00:05:47.760 Carry a firearm if that's legal for you and where you live.

00:05:51.700 Like, be a little bit more vigilant because I think this will become more

00:05:57.220 and more common, unfortunately, but it is the reality of it.

00:06:01.560 And we have a responsibility to protect ourselves, our loved ones,

00:06:06.700 and even people, innocent bystanders, who can't protect themselves.

00:06:10.660 Totally.

00:06:11.360 Well, and there's probably a simple principle to help us, like,

00:06:14.060 focus on this stuff.

00:06:15.020 I was reading about this company – or no, this – what do I mean, this company?

00:06:19.340 This Olympic row team.

00:06:21.280 And they had a philosophy that was, does it help the boat go any faster?

00:06:27.300 And that was their pulse.

00:06:29.200 So it's like, oh, I'm going to eat the donut.

00:06:31.400 Does it help the boat go faster?

00:06:33.420 No, it doesn't.

00:06:34.840 Oh, I'm going to stay up late and party on Bourbon Street.

00:06:38.100 Does it help the boat go faster?

00:06:39.740 No, it doesn't, right?

00:06:41.360 And if it doesn't help the boat go any faster, then don't do it.

00:06:45.840 I like that.

00:06:46.660 I'm writing that down.

00:06:47.480 And maybe we need to be a little bit more clear, right,

00:06:48.620 in regards to what makes our boats go faster.

00:06:51.840 I love that.

00:06:53.040 I've talked with a lot of guys.

00:06:54.420 You know, I had my battles with alcoholism,

00:06:56.900 and I've talked with a lot of guys who they don't drink,

00:06:58.900 and you ask them why, and they're like, because it doesn't help me.

00:07:01.820 Yeah.

00:07:02.060 Like, it does absolutely nothing positive for me.

00:07:05.160 I'm like, eh, I mean, that's true.

00:07:06.900 True.

00:07:08.040 So, and there's a lot of things that we could say about that.

00:07:11.540 You know, not just alcohol abuse, but other vices

00:07:14.980 and other characteristics that we've been adhering to for decades,

00:07:20.280 multiple decades for a lot of us.

00:07:22.060 And even busy things that we think, like, I don't know,

00:07:25.660 like part of our jobs.

00:07:26.620 Does this really help the company?

00:07:27.880 This is really, or am I just doing this because of my ego,

00:07:31.220 or it makes me look good, or it makes me seem important?

00:07:34.260 Like, oh, man, I think there's many little facets of that scenario

00:07:38.820 by which we distract ourselves with not the most important items.

00:07:43.300 Yeah.

00:07:43.880 I'm going to read up on that article because I like that concept.

00:07:47.160 I might do a Friday Field Notes on that,

00:07:48.820 but I'm going to read up on that article.

00:07:50.640 Or was it an article that you read or something?

00:07:52.580 Yeah, it was a reference actually in a book.

00:07:54.260 I'll get you the details.

00:07:56.020 Yeah, I would love to see it.

00:07:56.940 Yeah, absolutely.

00:07:58.380 I love that concept and obviously is so applicable in other aspects.

00:08:01.760 Do you have a headline outside of that?

00:08:03.640 No, I mean, I had one, but like, I'm okay with that being my headline.

00:08:07.300 I think, and maybe I'll tease it just a little bit.

00:08:10.760 I made a post last week around the difference

00:08:13.920 or how a victim mindset is the most destructive lie of all.

00:08:19.200 This idea that you have no control over your circumstances,

00:08:22.800 there's nothing you can do.

00:08:24.020 And it's primarily just because it causes us not to take action

00:08:28.040 and to give our power over to something else.

00:08:31.320 And I made that comment and I had a police officer reach out to me.

00:08:36.800 And he's like, and he told me this.

00:08:38.180 He says, you know, Kip, in the last,

00:08:40.180 I've been a police officer for 16 years.

00:08:42.000 The number one distinction between a criminal that keeps coming and getting arrested

00:08:49.300 that can't get their footing is that.

00:08:52.060 The ones that maintain a victim mindset never get the footing they need

00:08:57.000 to make progression in their lives.

00:08:58.740 And although that seems like an extreme scenario to a lot of us,

00:09:03.520 I would suggest that if there's any area in your life by which you're not progressing,

00:09:09.900 a victim mindset's probably at the root of that scenario.

00:09:14.380 So if it's a mediocre marriage, if it's a mediocre job,

00:09:18.400 if it's a broken relationship with family,

00:09:20.820 if you are in the space of disempowered,

00:09:23.480 the probability is it's mindset that you need to focus on.

00:09:29.880 I have a question on that.

00:09:31.360 And you talk a lot about that.

00:09:33.260 And I agree.

00:09:34.280 And I think most people listening to this podcast would probably agree as well

00:09:37.680 because they wouldn't be listening to a self-development podcast

00:09:40.100 if they didn't know, hey, there's some things I can do with my life.

00:09:43.700 But I want to flip that on its head a little bit.

00:09:45.680 Do you feel like there's any sort of downside or negative side

00:09:51.880 to the opposite of that, which is taking on everything

00:09:56.740 and believing that you have control over everything

00:09:59.720 and you need to focus on everything?

00:10:01.920 Do you know what I'm saying?

00:10:02.600 Because I think I fall more into that personally.

00:10:05.400 And that just might be because of the journey I've been on for 15 years now

00:10:10.000 or the fact that we do this work together.

00:10:11.740 But I fall more on that side of the equation

00:10:14.380 than a temptation to paint myself as a victim

00:10:18.280 or pawn it off on somebody else.

00:10:20.340 Absolutely.

00:10:20.740 Well, and I think there's an element of this, and I won't get into this,

00:10:24.300 but there's an element of this is like,

00:10:26.040 well, how do you believe that in God with you taking this mantle

00:10:32.320 that everything's in your realm of control?

00:10:34.260 And you know what I mean?

00:10:34.820 It's like there's like a little weirdness there.

00:10:38.080 But here's the sauce, I think,

00:10:41.560 for not taking on the larger mantle of too much ownership.

00:10:45.360 Answer the question of what specifically are you taking ownership over?

00:10:51.400 And is it possible?

00:10:53.500 This will happen all the time, dude, especially leaders.

00:10:56.940 They'll read extreme ownership, right?

00:10:58.680 They'll go, oh, extreme ownership.

00:11:00.780 And then shit hits the fan.

00:11:02.540 And then the leader will be like,

00:11:04.380 I'll take ownership of that.

00:11:06.280 My bad.

00:11:07.740 And you're like, well.

00:11:09.280 Ownership of what?

00:11:10.440 Ownership of what specifically?

00:11:11.840 Oh, of the thing, right?

00:11:13.760 It's like, oh, because you're so,

00:11:15.140 like your authority's so great,

00:11:16.300 you control all things, right?

00:11:17.800 Like what specifically?

00:11:20.000 And it's not until we answer that question

00:11:21.520 that we get to the brass tacks of,

00:11:23.060 well, what could I have changed?

00:11:26.320 What's the area of responsibility

00:11:27.620 that I could have pivoted

00:11:28.860 that could have given me a different outcome?

00:11:31.060 Oh, don't have control of that.

00:11:32.260 All right, that's not it.

00:11:33.340 That's not it.

00:11:34.400 Ah, I could have provided clarity here.

00:11:37.800 I should have set expectations a lot clearer up front.

00:11:40.460 You have to be able to get clear

00:11:43.260 on what is it specifically

00:11:44.820 that you're taking ownership over.

00:11:46.580 If you don't, now it's just a talking point

00:11:49.320 to stroke your own ego

00:11:50.600 and say that you're taking ownership over something,

00:11:53.180 but you haven't identified what it is.

00:11:55.800 So you have to identify it.

00:11:58.120 I think that's a good point

00:11:59.140 because that's what I wrote down here

00:12:00.420 is the opposite of victimhood

00:12:02.960 is really just arrogance and ego.

00:12:05.540 It's believing that you have complete control

00:12:08.380 over everything, the reality is that you don't.

00:12:11.840 And I think that comes into the God conversation for sure.

00:12:15.240 Yeah.

00:12:15.420 But I also think it causes a lot of people

00:12:17.740 to bang their heads against the wall repeatedly,

00:12:20.640 hoping that if they just bang their head harder,

00:12:23.140 something will happen.

00:12:24.780 When it's like, well, hold on,

00:12:26.420 banging your head against the wall

00:12:27.720 isn't getting you through the wall.

00:12:29.640 So let's try to figure out

00:12:32.540 if there's something we should do differently

00:12:34.340 or maybe the wall is only seven feet wide

00:12:38.600 and you could just go around it.

00:12:40.480 Like you don't have to bang your head on the wall

00:12:42.340 or tear the wall down.

00:12:43.280 You can go around it or over it or under it,

00:12:45.040 but maybe letting go.

00:12:47.320 I think that's one of the things

00:12:48.640 I really want to focus more on this year personally

00:12:50.940 is learning to let go of the things

00:12:53.340 that I don't really have any control over.

00:12:56.760 You know, if the weather is bad,

00:12:58.400 it's like, yeah, it's bad.

00:12:59.420 If it's cold outside

00:13:00.240 and I don't want to do anything, it's cold.

00:13:01.720 I still got to do it.

00:13:02.540 If I, you know, one of the kids breaks their arm,

00:13:05.720 you know, yeah, there's some ways

00:13:06.820 I can influence the fact

00:13:08.000 that they don't do dumb things,

00:13:09.280 but they're boys and I have a daughter too.

00:13:11.640 They're going to do dumb things.

00:13:12.860 And so if one of the kids breaks their arm,

00:13:14.540 I don't want to let those things dictate my attitude

00:13:19.280 and the way that I feel.

00:13:21.040 Like I don't want something outside of my control

00:13:23.700 to put me in a bad mood.

00:13:26.940 I don't want to give it that much power.

00:13:28.720 So that's one of the things I'm focusing on this year.

00:13:31.120 I love it.

00:13:32.240 I love it.

00:13:33.040 Okay.

00:13:34.120 Questions from the-

00:13:34.960 All right, man, let's get to some questions.

00:13:35.880 Yeah, excellent.

00:13:36.680 So we're going to fill the questions

00:13:37.700 from the Iron Council.

00:13:40.240 Jeremy Kofi.

00:13:40.680 We have some in Facebook too.

00:13:41.840 I don't know if you saw that or not, Kip.

00:13:43.120 Yeah, I got both of them.

00:13:43.960 Okay.

00:13:44.500 Okay, sounds good.

00:13:45.360 So Jeremy, his question for each of you,

00:13:48.340 what was the aha moment

00:13:50.640 that sparked your transformation

00:13:52.320 and the trajectory of which your lives

00:13:55.200 are currently traveling?

00:13:57.000 Does one have to hit a true rock bottom?

00:13:59.500 This is a great question.

00:14:00.540 Or is rock bottom different for everyone

00:14:03.340 and just represents a turning point in life

00:14:05.980 when one says enough?

00:14:08.880 That's, I think it's the latter.

00:14:11.420 Rock bottom is subjective

00:14:13.180 and it depends on when you decide to stop digging.

00:14:17.860 That's your bottom.

00:14:18.840 When you decide to stop making dumb decisions,

00:14:21.860 that is the bottom.

00:14:23.160 And now you can start climbing your way up.

00:14:25.560 Also, other certain people are more prone to

00:14:28.960 maybe the way they respond to negative situations.

00:14:34.840 Like let's take somebody who is a special operator,

00:14:39.160 maybe a Navy SEAL.

00:14:41.000 That person's ability to deal with and confront hardship

00:14:45.720 is significantly greater than somebody

00:14:48.580 who does not have that mindset

00:14:50.320 and that physical training.

00:14:52.760 So that's good.

00:14:53.920 But the downside is the Navy SEAL

00:14:56.420 could dig himself into a deeper hole

00:14:59.060 than the average person because he's a hard ass.

00:15:02.520 Yeah.

00:15:02.780 Right.

00:15:03.620 Yeah.

00:15:03.980 So it's a pro and a con.

00:15:05.880 It's a pro in that you can handle more.

00:15:08.080 It's a con in that you can handle more

00:15:09.720 and you keep making dumb decisions

00:15:11.220 because you can suffer through it.

00:15:13.380 But I think it's rock bottom

00:15:15.740 is when you stop digging

00:15:16.820 and you start digging yourself out.

00:15:19.240 For me, there isn't one moment,

00:15:21.660 but there's moments in life.

00:15:23.140 I remember when I made the decision

00:15:26.000 to do this podcast,

00:15:28.140 that was a pivotal aha moment.

00:15:30.580 It's transformed the course of my life.

00:15:34.140 And that wasn't some revolutionary,

00:15:37.280 incredible moment in time.

00:15:38.940 It was like,

00:15:39.440 I don't want to do that podcast anymore.

00:15:41.000 I want to talk about this stuff now.

00:15:42.200 So that was a good moment for me.

00:15:44.380 Getting married, having kids.

00:15:46.720 I remember one time I was pretty early on

00:15:50.340 in my financial planning practice

00:15:51.780 and I was really overweight.

00:15:53.460 I was probably 240, maybe 245,

00:15:58.280 I think is the heaviest I got.

00:15:59.700 And I sit around at a healthy weight

00:16:01.140 about 190 to 195.

00:16:03.100 So I was 50 plus pounds overweight.

00:16:05.600 And I got home and my two oldest boys said,

00:16:08.620 hey dad, will you jump on the trampoline with us?

00:16:11.580 And I said, no, I'm too tired.

00:16:12.660 I can't do that.

00:16:13.160 I'm too tired.

00:16:14.760 And at that moment, I was like, wait,

00:16:17.420 I was probably, I don't know, 32

00:16:20.860 or maybe even younger, maybe 28.

00:16:24.480 There's no reason I shouldn't be able

00:16:26.120 to jump on the trampoline

00:16:27.480 with my two sons after work.

00:16:29.100 What do I do at work?

00:16:30.000 Sit in a chair at a desk?

00:16:32.960 Like, it's not like it's real grueling physical labor.

00:16:35.080 And that was a pivotal moment for me

00:16:37.740 because that's when I started to go back to CrossFit

00:16:39.820 and I really got heavy into that.

00:16:42.160 Another pivotal moment was when I went through my divorce.

00:16:47.240 You know, that was a rock bottom moment for me.

00:16:50.980 No more drinking, getting therapy,

00:16:54.120 going to AA meetings, going through a divorce,

00:16:57.120 the breakdown of the family, breakdown of my finances,

00:17:00.600 breakdown potential risk of this organization.

00:17:03.100 I mean, that was a rough, rough time.

00:17:07.480 So rock bottom doesn't always need to be negative.

00:17:10.960 If you look at it and think,

00:17:12.460 okay, this is what I'm going to springboard from.

00:17:14.360 This is my foundation for growth in my life.

00:17:16.400 Then you can start looking at the negative circumstances,

00:17:19.620 a lot of which are overall making

00:17:21.240 and put them in a positive light

00:17:23.880 so that you can improve and get better.

00:17:25.320 So those are a few moments for me.

00:17:27.360 Yeah, I think this is what I think about this

00:17:30.760 from like a rock, we'll use your analogy of digging.

00:17:34.140 Transformation is made available

00:17:35.760 through the realization that you're doing the digging.

00:17:41.760 Back in that victimhood mentality.

00:17:43.900 Yeah.

00:17:44.680 Most of us, we don't make changes

00:17:47.920 because we think someone else is digging.

00:17:50.100 We really think that someone else

00:17:53.940 is doing the hole digging for us.

00:17:57.240 And we're a victim of it.

00:17:59.480 And it's not until we realize

00:18:00.700 that that shovel's in our own hands

00:18:02.300 that we go,

00:18:03.600 oh man, are you joking?

00:18:07.240 Right?

00:18:07.540 Because there's many areas of our lives

00:18:09.880 that we want things to be better.

00:18:12.420 And in our conversations with you, Ryan,

00:18:14.800 over the years,

00:18:15.320 like I know you've had pivotal moments

00:18:17.160 where it's like light bulb,

00:18:20.260 someone slapped you up the side of the head,

00:18:21.700 light bulb turned on.

00:18:22.780 The light bulb was the fact

00:18:24.180 that you had the shovel in your hand.

00:18:26.140 You're like,

00:18:27.020 this is my creation.

00:18:30.800 And so I think it's a combination

00:18:32.460 of realizing that you're the one doing the digging

00:18:34.600 and then how deep the hole really is.

00:18:38.140 Like maybe said another way,

00:18:39.600 how much impact,

00:18:41.600 both negative and or positive,

00:18:44.080 you have created.

00:18:46.480 And it's through that realization

00:18:48.520 that I think it causes us to move to action.

00:18:53.300 Well, I think part of it

00:18:54.460 is just being brutally honest.

00:18:56.240 You know, when you,

00:18:56.900 to you,

00:18:57.240 I like that analogy a lot.

00:18:58.360 Like you're the one holding the shovel.

00:18:59.640 And when you realize

00:19:00.480 you're holding the shovel,

00:19:01.380 you're like,

00:19:01.680 yeah,

00:19:02.400 it's like becomes repulsive,

00:19:03.820 hopefully to you.

00:19:04.440 That's the idea, right?

00:19:05.560 Yeah.

00:19:06.760 But it takes brutal honesty to say,

00:19:09.260 oh, I messed this up.

00:19:10.700 Like I got passed over for the promotion

00:19:14.720 because I wasn't showing up fully

00:19:16.400 or my kids don't have a relationship with me

00:19:20.160 because I'm not a safe person

00:19:22.160 for them to be around mentally,

00:19:23.680 emotionally, or physically.

00:19:25.540 I'm not in this marriage anymore

00:19:27.480 because I wasn't good to my ex-wife

00:19:30.340 or I didn't grow this business,

00:19:32.860 not because somebody did it better than me,

00:19:34.600 but because I never learned

00:19:35.760 how I was supposed to do it.

00:19:36.960 But that's brutal, man.

00:19:38.740 When you give yourself that advice

00:19:41.720 and you tell yourself you're the mess up,

00:19:44.640 that is brutal,

00:19:45.500 but that's what's required.

00:19:47.220 I do want to share one other thought

00:19:48.780 that I have on this Kip

00:19:49.700 and that is something that he alluded to

00:19:52.740 and it's this is,

00:19:56.420 I think he said,

00:19:57.280 do you have to hit rock bottom?

00:19:59.340 Yeah.

00:19:59.840 And we said rock bottom

00:20:01.680 is when you stop digging,

00:20:02.780 but let's answer that question

00:20:04.140 in the spirit of which it's intended.

00:20:05.660 Do we need to get to the lowest of lows

00:20:08.080 in order to change?

00:20:09.220 And the answer is no.

00:20:11.340 You can manufacture rock bottom.

00:20:14.960 You can just decide today,

00:20:16.840 this is as bad as it's going to get.

00:20:19.100 I'm not willing to dig anymore.

00:20:21.520 I'm not willing to go further down this hole

00:20:23.760 than I already am.

00:20:25.280 And you can just make that decision.

00:20:27.280 That's what's so beautiful

00:20:28.480 about being,

00:20:30.200 you know, being a human,

00:20:33.340 having the ability

00:20:34.800 to be conscious about it.

00:20:36.940 Yeah.

00:20:37.580 Yeah.

00:20:38.220 Good call addressing that.

00:20:40.760 All right.

00:20:41.420 Paul,

00:20:41.860 so note,

00:20:42.740 what are your thoughts

00:20:43.580 on leading your family

00:20:44.640 the same way

00:20:45.540 you lead your business

00:20:46.800 and vice versa?

00:20:48.400 Recently took my daughter to work

00:20:50.080 because my right-hand man

00:20:51.400 was sick

00:20:51.920 and had no childcare.

00:20:53.360 It was a learning experience

00:20:54.740 for both of us.

00:20:55.900 She's nine

00:20:56.400 and I assigned her tasks,

00:20:57.640 agreed to a payment

00:20:58.520 based upon task completion,

00:20:59.900 took a step back,

00:21:01.840 watched her interact with customers

00:21:03.480 after giving some minor instructions,

00:21:05.500 was surprised

00:21:06.540 and happy to see her work

00:21:08.220 with autonomy.

00:21:11.480 Yeah.

00:21:12.120 So,

00:21:12.820 well,

00:21:13.540 why don't you lead this one?

00:21:14.340 I think you got some good ideas on this.

00:21:15.700 Do you lead this off?

00:21:16.440 I've got some thoughts,

00:21:17.220 but I want to hear

00:21:17.620 what you have to say first.

00:21:18.720 I mean,

00:21:19.140 straight to the question,

00:21:20.880 what are your thoughts

00:21:21.600 on leading a family

00:21:22.300 the same way you lead a business?

00:21:25.220 Me,

00:21:25.680 I think they're exactly the same.

00:21:27.400 Now,

00:21:28.000 I've gotten counsel of,

00:21:29.740 hey,

00:21:29.820 don't do leadership development

00:21:31.080 and use references,

00:21:32.760 you know,

00:21:33.440 leading kids as an employee

00:21:35.160 because you'll insult your employees

00:21:36.540 because they're like,

00:21:37.400 we're not kids,

00:21:38.580 right?

00:21:39.060 But in the same breath,

00:21:40.560 it's like,

00:21:41.100 a good leader does what?

00:21:42.620 They love their kids.

00:21:44.700 And,

00:21:44.920 and as an example of this

00:21:46.520 that,

00:21:47.180 that I like to use often

00:21:48.420 is,

00:21:49.940 and I'll,

00:21:50.480 I'll use,

00:21:51.340 I'll use the persecutor

00:21:52.940 slash rescuer approach

00:21:54.420 to like a clean room.

00:21:56.280 Every,

00:21:56.640 every dad

00:21:57.300 can probably relate to this.

00:21:58.600 You go home,

00:22:00.320 the room is clean,

00:22:01.580 we've set expectations

00:22:02.640 and the room's not clean.

00:22:04.480 The natural default

00:22:05.760 for at least me

00:22:06.740 is to raise my voice,

00:22:08.900 to start belittling,

00:22:10.680 use some fear

00:22:11.760 and uncertainty

00:22:12.500 to get the room clean.

00:22:15.020 I persecute

00:22:15.940 and my clients

00:22:17.560 clean the room.

00:22:18.520 Not out of autonomy,

00:22:19.980 not out of agency

00:22:20.920 or choice,

00:22:21.480 but strictly

00:22:22.400 to mitigate

00:22:23.460 the persecution

00:22:25.360 from their father.

00:22:27.300 And thus,

00:22:27.780 the job gets done.

00:22:29.320 Right.

00:22:29.920 And then I,

00:22:30.380 and then what's required tomorrow?

00:22:31.820 More persecution.

00:22:32.860 The day after that,

00:22:33.640 more persecution,

00:22:34.580 right?

00:22:34.940 And I have to command

00:22:36.460 and control all things

00:22:37.620 to get shit done.

00:22:40.200 Obviously,

00:22:40.860 persecuting is not

00:22:41.640 a great tactic.

00:22:42.600 But why did I persecute?

00:22:46.000 Because I forgot

00:22:47.200 that it was not

00:22:48.420 about the room.

00:22:51.280 I'm managing

00:22:52.240 a room being clean.

00:22:53.560 I'm not managing

00:22:54.720 growing kids.

00:22:56.280 I lost sight of that.

00:22:58.440 And that's the same thing

00:22:59.680 that we do as leaders.

00:23:00.680 We lose sight.

00:23:02.020 We think it's about

00:23:02.940 the project.

00:23:03.920 We think it's about

00:23:05.120 the room being clean.

00:23:06.840 We think it's about

00:23:07.440 the tactical things.

00:23:08.560 And we lose sight

00:23:10.260 that the strategic win

00:23:12.500 is for us to focus

00:23:13.740 on the individual.

00:23:15.740 Yeah.

00:23:15.860 Let them win

00:23:16.700 the tactical

00:23:17.420 by you focusing

00:23:18.480 on the strategic,

00:23:19.440 which is developing humans.

00:23:21.040 Right?

00:23:21.380 And I think,

00:23:22.460 I think they correlate

00:23:23.420 exactly almost,

00:23:25.620 to be frank.

00:23:27.460 And,

00:23:27.640 and it's very much

00:23:28.660 the same concepts.

00:23:30.780 Yeah,

00:23:31.020 I,

00:23:31.300 I do too.

00:23:31.940 You know,

00:23:33.180 usually when you think

00:23:34.080 of leading your family

00:23:36.700 the same way

00:23:37.260 you might lead in business,

00:23:38.420 you think of that

00:23:39.480 authoritarian type

00:23:41.040 dictatorship

00:23:41.940 and the way you

00:23:42.960 bark commands at work.

00:23:44.360 But what's interesting

00:23:45.060 about it

00:23:45.680 is at home,

00:23:47.120 I don't know if you're

00:23:47.640 anything like me,

00:23:48.480 but I lose my patience

00:23:49.840 and I yell

00:23:51.020 at my kids sometimes

00:23:52.320 when I shouldn't.

00:23:53.800 I would never yell

00:23:54.960 at an employee like that.

00:23:56.540 Never.

00:23:57.640 Yeah.

00:23:57.940 But I do my kids.

00:23:59.600 But we don't ever

00:24:00.540 look at it that way.

00:24:01.340 We think that if we

00:24:02.260 brought the leadership

00:24:03.060 style into,

00:24:04.400 from our office

00:24:05.180 into our home

00:24:06.140 that we would

00:24:07.240 undermine them.

00:24:08.020 But if you took

00:24:08.940 the same things

00:24:09.760 you do at home

00:24:10.360 with your kids

00:24:11.040 and you did that

00:24:11.680 at the office,

00:24:13.180 you know it wouldn't work.

00:24:15.320 Yeah,

00:24:15.740 totally.

00:24:16.100 You'd either be fired

00:24:17.200 or you'd lose employees.

00:24:18.560 That is the,

00:24:19.140 or you,

00:24:19.520 yeah,

00:24:19.860 that is the reality.

00:24:21.600 And the other thing

00:24:22.440 about leading

00:24:23.220 both at home

00:24:24.680 and in business

00:24:25.400 is

00:24:26.160 you have to know

00:24:27.940 your people.

00:24:29.960 The way that

00:24:30.900 I would communicate

00:24:31.820 with you,

00:24:32.820 Kip,

00:24:33.100 is different

00:24:33.760 than the way

00:24:34.580 that I might

00:24:35.100 communicate with,

00:24:36.360 you know,

00:24:37.580 another,

00:24:38.060 Wayne McPherson,

00:24:39.460 for example,

00:24:40.360 or Andrew McLeod.

00:24:41.700 Like,

00:24:41.940 you guys are all men.

00:24:42.820 You can handle

00:24:43.420 critique and criticism

00:24:45.060 and you can give it

00:24:46.160 just as well

00:24:46.660 as I can give it.

00:24:47.900 But you still

00:24:48.800 have different personalities.

00:24:50.060 There's still different

00:24:50.860 things that are

00:24:51.560 different to you,

00:24:52.360 things that are

00:24:52.660 more important,

00:24:53.640 different purviews

00:24:54.340 within work.

00:24:55.580 You're different.

00:24:56.860 And the same is true

00:24:57.860 of my children.

00:24:58.520 You know,

00:24:59.260 they're all my children.

00:25:00.520 They all know me

00:25:01.380 and my personality.

00:25:02.560 But I can talk

00:25:03.460 to my 16-year-old son

00:25:04.640 way differently

00:25:05.240 than I can

00:25:05.900 my 11-year-old daughter,

00:25:07.520 of course.

00:25:08.820 So it's crucial

00:25:09.740 that we know them.

00:25:10.500 I think the,

00:25:11.160 I think the hardest

00:25:12.660 thing about

00:25:13.640 leading well at home

00:25:15.420 relative to leading

00:25:16.320 in business

00:25:16.780 is that at home

00:25:17.860 it's not real tangible.

00:25:19.740 Yeah.

00:25:20.540 At work,

00:25:21.360 you can say,

00:25:21.980 well,

00:25:22.160 I need to get

00:25:22.580 this project done

00:25:23.560 or this assignment

00:25:24.260 has this deadline

00:25:25.300 or I need to make

00:25:25.960 this many sales

00:25:27.440 or close

00:25:28.560 this much business

00:25:29.520 or bring in

00:25:30.940 these many customers.

00:25:32.180 Like,

00:25:32.560 it's very tangible

00:25:33.620 and it's very documented

00:25:35.700 as to what you need.

00:25:36.620 The benchmarks are there.

00:25:38.260 But at home,

00:25:39.120 it's usually not.

00:25:40.940 You want to be a good dad.

00:25:42.120 You want to be a good husband.

00:25:43.500 You want to show up.

00:25:44.720 Like,

00:25:45.520 those are all good things,

00:25:46.880 but what does that

00:25:48.000 really mean?

00:25:49.180 It's not like

00:25:50.120 you're saying,

00:25:50.680 I need to put

00:25:51.120 an hour of effort

00:25:52.820 into this kid

00:25:53.900 per day

00:25:54.480 for seven days a week.

00:25:55.840 You don't think

00:25:56.760 of it like that,

00:25:57.460 but I would imagine

00:25:58.580 that if you did,

00:25:59.900 you might be

00:26:00.400 a little bit more present.

00:26:01.520 One thing that I had

00:26:02.260 on my battle plan

00:26:03.020 last quarter

00:26:03.660 was to be more present

00:26:04.820 with my kids,

00:26:05.920 which means that

00:26:06.640 I had dedicated time

00:26:07.980 set aside

00:26:08.680 for each one of my children

00:26:09.880 every single day.

00:26:11.620 And I noticed

00:26:12.440 that the last week

00:26:13.680 when they're here,

00:26:14.860 I was still doing it.

00:26:16.040 It wasn't part

00:26:16.640 of my battle plan

00:26:17.360 that's changed a little bit,

00:26:18.460 but I was still doing it.

00:26:19.780 This morning,

00:26:20.480 I woke up

00:26:21.160 and my son and I

00:26:22.460 built some Legos.

00:26:24.220 Yesterday afternoon,

00:26:25.120 my oldest son

00:26:25.900 was out playing basketball.

00:26:27.100 I was doing something,

00:26:28.120 but I thought,

00:26:28.600 well, he's out there.

00:26:29.240 Let me put this down

00:26:30.140 and go out there

00:26:30.820 and play basketball with him.

00:26:31.980 And so I did.

00:26:33.100 So there are little moments

00:26:34.620 that we can take

00:26:35.700 if we have

00:26:36.460 the deliberate intention

00:26:38.780 of quantifying

00:26:39.960 what it means

00:26:40.680 to be a better father,

00:26:41.780 what it means

00:26:42.280 to be a good leader at home,

00:26:43.680 what kind of conversations

00:26:45.000 you're having,

00:26:45.960 what activities

00:26:46.600 are you engaged in?

00:26:48.280 You know,

00:26:48.580 for example,

00:26:49.080 I think having

00:26:50.500 a good solid home

00:26:52.160 requires us to eat dinner

00:26:53.660 as often as we can together.

00:26:55.720 We don't do it all the time.

00:26:57.260 The other night,

00:26:58.140 we had pizza

00:26:58.680 and everybody's kind of everywhere

00:27:00.100 and friends were over

00:27:01.260 and people were watching TV

00:27:02.500 and the boys were playing basketball.

00:27:04.280 So we didn't do it together.

00:27:05.960 But 80% of the time,

00:27:08.360 it's me cooking a meal

00:27:09.980 and then us sitting at the table

00:27:11.640 doing that together.

00:27:12.880 And that is a quantifiable metric

00:27:14.940 that to me correlates directly

00:27:17.620 with leading my children well.

00:27:20.020 So if you can find out

00:27:21.240 whatever those metrics are for you

00:27:22.900 and incorporate them

00:27:24.240 into your battle plan

00:27:25.140 or even just your way of thinking,

00:27:27.160 you'll have a lot more success

00:27:28.800 leading well at home

00:27:30.220 and knowing exactly

00:27:31.540 what that means

00:27:32.440 and where you're failing

00:27:33.720 and where you're doing well.

00:27:35.420 Yeah.

00:27:35.780 There's certainly some value

00:27:36.940 to compare the two

00:27:38.020 and see what's working at home

00:27:39.860 and seeing if that needs

00:27:41.440 to show up at work

00:27:42.400 or what's working at work

00:27:43.480 and how that needs

00:27:44.700 to show up at home.

00:27:45.460 One of the distinctions

00:27:47.960 is your kids are stuck with you.

00:27:50.500 Yeah, that's true.

00:27:51.980 Your employees aren't, right?

00:27:54.560 And I always like this thought

00:27:57.480 both on the employee side

00:28:00.340 as well as the kid side.

00:28:01.880 Would they choose you?

00:28:04.760 Would they choose you?

00:28:07.340 Like would an employee

00:28:08.960 choose you as their boss?

00:28:12.180 And by the way,

00:28:13.080 if they're just there right now,

00:28:14.740 they're not choosing you.

00:28:15.660 That doesn't necessarily mean

00:28:16.600 they're choosing you.

00:28:17.260 No, right.

00:28:18.140 Right.

00:28:18.440 If they're sticking it out

00:28:19.460 and grinding it out with you,

00:28:20.780 that's not choosing you.

00:28:21.760 There's a lot of reasons

00:28:22.660 why they might be there

00:28:23.780 outside of you.

00:28:24.880 Totally.

00:28:25.100 They might be suffering

00:28:26.660 through having to deal with you

00:28:28.180 for other reasons, but.

00:28:29.780 Yeah.

00:28:30.000 And so the question is,

00:28:31.360 is would they choose you?

00:28:33.940 Your employees?

00:28:34.900 Yeah.

00:28:35.680 Your kids?

00:28:37.060 And your spouse?

00:28:39.180 If they had to do it

00:28:40.180 all over again

00:28:40.800 or they had choice,

00:28:42.080 would they choose you?

00:28:42.880 And if they're not,

00:28:44.480 then the probability is

00:28:45.760 we're not investing in them.

00:28:47.780 We're not serving them.

00:28:52.120 Agreed.

00:28:53.540 Aaron Cobb.

00:28:55.380 Good old Aaron.

00:28:56.580 When you realized

00:28:57.700 that you had to step away

00:28:58.920 from alcohol,

00:29:00.220 what was the hardest part

00:29:01.660 for you to going

00:29:02.420 through that process?

00:29:05.860 You know,

00:29:06.660 I was going to say

00:29:07.660 it was different in my situation.

00:29:09.140 I don't know

00:29:09.560 if it was different.

00:29:10.240 I'm sure it's very similar

00:29:11.480 to a lot of men's situations,

00:29:12.680 but my ex-wife

00:29:14.260 asked for a divorce

00:29:15.460 and alcoholism

00:29:18.160 and alcohol abuse

00:29:19.020 being the culprit.

00:29:21.260 Yeah.

00:29:21.940 Largely.

00:29:24.500 Go ahead.

00:29:25.620 Can I ask you

00:29:26.360 maybe a real personal question?

00:29:29.720 Yeah, for sure.

00:29:30.920 Do you feel,

00:29:32.700 is there a chance

00:29:33.780 by which,

00:29:34.700 let's assume

00:29:35.520 that she was

00:29:36.460 more like,

00:29:37.480 oh,

00:29:39.080 you're going to,

00:29:40.040 you're going to

00:29:41.060 address the alcohol stuff.

00:29:43.560 I'm here for you

00:29:44.180 and I'll stick it out with you

00:29:45.400 and everything's fine

00:29:46.700 and the marriage

00:29:48.340 is not being threatened.

00:29:51.980 Would that reduce

00:29:53.480 your resolve

00:29:54.800 to address

00:29:55.640 the alcoholism

00:29:57.320 you think?

00:29:58.160 Of course.

00:29:58.860 Like you might even lapse

00:30:00.420 if,

00:30:01.680 if,

00:30:02.120 Oh yeah,

00:30:02.480 of course.

00:30:02.960 if that wasn't critical.

00:30:04.160 This goes back to

00:30:06.440 what we were saying

00:30:07.960 about

00:30:09.000 rock bottom.

00:30:10.580 Yeah.

00:30:11.540 If there's no risk.

00:30:12.640 It made the rock bottom

00:30:12.860 more solid.

00:30:14.400 Right.

00:30:14.900 If there's no risk

00:30:16.260 or no pain

00:30:16.960 or suffering,

00:30:17.640 how's this thing go?

00:30:18.760 And you won't change

00:30:20.240 until

00:30:20.740 the pain

00:30:22.040 of your current reality

00:30:23.140 is,

00:30:23.520 is more greater

00:30:25.020 than the pain

00:30:25.760 of the change

00:30:26.260 you need to make.

00:30:27.360 Yeah.

00:30:28.080 So in my case

00:30:29.200 where,

00:30:29.720 you know,

00:30:29.860 I was losing my family,

00:30:31.300 I was with that woman

00:30:32.180 for 20 years,

00:30:33.300 married for 18.

00:30:34.360 I've got four kids.

00:30:35.840 We're in Maine

00:30:37.040 across the country.

00:30:38.400 Finances are doing well.

00:30:39.600 Like there's a lot

00:30:40.400 at risk here.

00:30:42.000 And

00:30:42.480 unfortunately

00:30:43.960 it was too little

00:30:44.620 too late at that point,

00:30:45.740 you know,

00:30:46.540 to deal with it.

00:30:47.260 But

00:30:47.620 yeah,

00:30:48.460 that's

00:30:48.940 that,

00:30:50.040 that was a big driver.

00:30:51.560 But the hardest part

00:30:52.640 was that

00:30:53.300 even though

00:30:54.540 my resolve

00:30:55.560 was greater

00:30:56.240 because

00:30:56.680 the risk was higher,

00:30:58.080 the stakes were,

00:30:58.900 were higher.

00:30:59.660 it was still

00:31:02.140 such a painful moment

00:31:03.580 that being able

00:31:04.600 to escape

00:31:05.400 into a bottle

00:31:06.100 would have been

00:31:06.720 a very

00:31:07.200 welcomed thing

00:31:08.180 at that point.

00:31:09.200 Yeah.

00:31:09.760 It's like the,

00:31:10.460 it's like the guy

00:31:11.180 that you hear,

00:31:11.960 I think it was

00:31:12.700 on Independence Day

00:31:13.680 and

00:31:13.980 Randy Quaid says,

00:31:16.540 I picked a hell of a day

00:31:17.540 to stop drinking.

00:31:18.660 Yeah.

00:31:19.900 Like

00:31:20.340 I picked a hell of a time

00:31:21.680 to stop drinking.

00:31:22.400 The joke is that

00:31:23.680 that's the reason

00:31:24.680 I quit drinking,

00:31:25.640 right?

00:31:26.020 Yeah.

00:31:26.200 So

00:31:26.640 it's

00:31:27.740 yeah,

00:31:29.920 that was the hardest part.

00:31:31.700 It's just

00:31:32.120 I could,

00:31:32.820 I would have loved

00:31:33.420 to have gotten drunk

00:31:34.680 and tried to momentarily escape.

00:31:36.600 But I realized

00:31:37.340 even at the time,

00:31:38.860 especially now,

00:31:39.660 but even at the time,

00:31:40.560 it was just a momentary escape.

00:31:42.680 That's all it was.

00:31:44.180 It's interesting

00:31:45.040 how

00:31:45.600 there's an element

00:31:46.700 of

00:31:47.540 appreciation

00:31:50.560 and

00:31:52.680 there could be

00:31:55.060 a level of appreciation

00:31:56.840 in the suffering

00:31:57.700 that she created

00:31:58.600 by

00:32:00.100 choosing not

00:32:01.080 to be with you.

00:32:04.080 Well,

00:32:04.580 I mean,

00:32:04.780 the reality is

00:32:05.720 I would still

00:32:06.680 probably be drunk.

00:32:08.460 Yeah.

00:32:08.580 She created the pain

00:32:09.480 necessary for you

00:32:10.640 to progress,

00:32:11.440 which is quite interesting.

00:32:12.700 I'm not,

00:32:13.240 I'm not to the point

00:32:14.600 of appreciation

00:32:15.420 by any means,

00:32:16.600 but

00:32:17.860 and maybe

00:32:18.880 I'll get there.

00:32:19.560 I don't,

00:32:20.140 I don't know,

00:32:20.940 but

00:32:21.480 I'm aware enough

00:32:23.460 to realize

00:32:24.080 that if that didn't happen,

00:32:25.900 my course,

00:32:26.660 I would not have changed

00:32:27.580 my course of action.

00:32:28.700 I'm aware of that

00:32:29.800 for sure.

00:32:30.680 Yeah.

00:32:31.460 That's interesting.

00:32:32.920 Did we address his question

00:32:34.260 or did we,

00:32:34.780 did I trump his question?

00:32:35.920 Hardest part

00:32:36.540 going through that process.

00:32:37.940 Yeah.

00:32:38.240 The hardest part

00:32:39.200 is just not being able

00:32:40.200 to escape

00:32:40.940 during,

00:32:41.460 during those moments,

00:32:42.540 you know,

00:32:42.960 when it was really difficult

00:32:44.140 and was really painful

00:32:45.320 and difficult conversations

00:32:46.920 and a lot of emotions

00:32:48.800 and a lot of pain

00:32:50.160 and suffering

00:32:50.720 mentally and emotionally

00:32:51.880 with regards to

00:32:53.860 what we were dealing with,

00:32:54.900 you know?

00:32:55.320 So,

00:32:55.840 oh,

00:32:57.520 there was another part too.

00:33:00.860 Sharing that with my kids

00:33:02.240 that I had that problem.

00:33:05.300 I mean,

00:33:05.560 I didn't want to do that,

00:33:06.700 you know?

00:33:07.120 So,

00:33:08.220 yeah.

00:33:09.000 Yeah,

00:33:09.440 that's tough.

00:33:11.020 Chris Bonner,

00:33:11.820 I've struggled with

00:33:13.080 nice guy syndrome

00:33:13.980 my entire life,

00:33:15.080 but I didn't realize it

00:33:16.360 until recently.

00:33:18.080 Thanks to the Iron Council,

00:33:19.920 I have always put

00:33:20.840 others' needs

00:33:21.560 before my own.

00:33:22.700 Even though I'm now single,

00:33:24.180 I still struggle

00:33:24.900 with feeling selfish

00:33:25.960 when trying to set boundaries

00:33:27.380 or come up with a purpose

00:33:29.140 or goal

00:33:29.680 that are for myself.

00:33:31.200 Do you have any recommendations

00:33:32.740 on how to get over this?

00:33:35.220 Yeah,

00:33:35.500 I do.

00:33:35.900 You just got to keep doing it.

00:33:38.120 And,

00:33:38.660 and I say that

00:33:39.380 because

00:33:39.960 if you're struggling

00:33:41.020 as a nice guy,

00:33:42.320 as a recovering nice guy,

00:33:43.720 as they would say,

00:33:44.640 I've said this in the past,

00:33:45.720 you have to tiptoe

00:33:46.700 into asshole territory

00:33:47.820 because you don't know

00:33:49.180 what's appropriate.

00:33:50.960 You're so far

00:33:51.980 on one side

00:33:52.660 of the spectrum

00:33:53.280 that you don't know

00:33:54.920 what it's like

00:33:55.520 to have healthy boundaries.

00:33:56.940 And so,

00:33:57.640 anytime you establish

00:33:58.880 what objectively

00:34:00.360 could be called

00:34:01.080 a healthy boundary,

00:34:02.120 you think you're being

00:34:03.000 a dick to everybody.

00:34:04.440 Yeah.

00:34:04.660 When you might not

00:34:05.360 actually be that way,

00:34:07.360 you might just

00:34:08.200 be establishing

00:34:09.380 things that are healthy,

00:34:10.620 but it has to be

00:34:12.020 uncomfortable for you.

00:34:13.100 Of course it's uncomfortable.

00:34:15.000 You're not used to doing it.

00:34:16.060 You're not familiar with it.

00:34:17.240 And so,

00:34:17.780 just keep practicing

00:34:19.080 and then doing

00:34:20.300 what we call

00:34:20.880 an after action review.

00:34:22.120 Okay,

00:34:22.360 I established this boundary.

00:34:24.180 How did I feel about it?

00:34:25.340 Maybe somebody,

00:34:27.100 maybe your wife

00:34:27.860 said something to you

00:34:28.840 that was a little

00:34:29.620 backhanded

00:34:30.640 or

00:34:31.520 a little,

00:34:32.300 like,

00:34:32.560 undermined you

00:34:33.560 or said something

00:34:34.600 in a way

00:34:35.440 that you didn't appreciate.

00:34:36.460 and for the first time

00:34:38.440 in your marriage even,

00:34:39.960 you decided to say,

00:34:40.940 hey,

00:34:41.080 you know what,

00:34:41.480 hon,

00:34:42.020 I don't appreciate

00:34:42.720 you talking to me

00:34:43.440 like that.

00:34:44.560 I know that we're upset

00:34:45.980 about what we're talking about

00:34:47.120 and I know this issue

00:34:47.940 needs to get resolved,

00:34:48.820 but I want to make sure

00:34:50.080 that we both have

00:34:50.920 healthy boundaries

00:34:51.780 with regards to the way

00:34:53.580 that we communicate

00:34:54.480 these things

00:34:55.320 with each other.

00:34:56.440 And when you say

00:34:57.700 things like that,

00:34:59.100 it makes me feel

00:35:00.160 unappreciated

00:35:01.080 or it makes me feel

00:35:02.720 like

00:35:03.100 I'm to blame

00:35:05.420 entirely

00:35:05.940 for what might be

00:35:06.840 happening

00:35:07.180 and I'm not going

00:35:08.220 to engage

00:35:09.720 in that type

00:35:10.280 of conversation

00:35:11.200 anymore.

00:35:12.380 That is hard

00:35:13.340 to do

00:35:13.840 if it's the very

00:35:15.040 first time

00:35:15.640 that you did it.

00:35:16.400 And then what you do

00:35:17.280 is you go back

00:35:18.080 and you ask yourself,

00:35:18.980 okay,

00:35:19.220 how did that go?

00:35:21.160 How did I feel?

00:35:23.660 Did I do it right?

00:35:25.200 Could I have done it

00:35:26.560 a little softer?

00:35:27.580 Was I too harsh?

00:35:28.900 If that situation

00:35:29.900 comes up in the future,

00:35:31.000 what will I do?

00:35:31.740 How will I say it?

00:35:33.100 So that it comes

00:35:33.840 across with

00:35:34.740 better intent

00:35:36.700 than I have

00:35:37.820 or did before.

00:35:39.700 But you just do

00:35:40.360 that after action review

00:35:41.460 and you just

00:35:42.020 keep practicing.

00:35:43.460 You can also practice

00:35:44.480 in low risk environments.

00:35:46.900 You know,

00:35:47.180 for example,

00:35:48.140 here's one I use a lot.

00:35:50.480 If you're with the guys

00:35:51.400 and they all want

00:35:51.940 to go to lunch

00:35:52.520 and they're like,

00:35:53.380 hey,

00:35:53.500 where should we go

00:35:53.920 to lunch?

00:35:54.600 Then you should be

00:35:55.500 the one to speak up

00:35:56.300 and say,

00:35:56.720 well,

00:35:56.840 I'd like to go here.

00:35:59.340 Or another one is

00:36:00.940 this is a challenge

00:36:02.280 we've done a lot

00:36:02.920 with people

00:36:03.380 is when you go

00:36:04.140 into stores

00:36:04.860 and restaurants,

00:36:05.680 you ask for a discount

00:36:06.500 wherever you go.

00:36:07.920 Because nice guys

00:36:08.740 don't do that.

00:36:09.660 If you feel like

00:36:10.500 you're putting them out

00:36:11.400 and it's uncomfortable

00:36:12.240 and you're worried

00:36:13.620 about what they think

00:36:14.340 of you.

00:36:15.340 So if you do that,

00:36:16.960 you'll start to get

00:36:17.660 really good at that.

00:36:18.900 Another one you could

00:36:19.620 exercise is when people

00:36:21.040 ask you things

00:36:21.820 that you don't want to do.

00:36:23.260 Don't ever give,

00:36:24.160 not ever,

00:36:25.260 but try not to give

00:36:26.200 them a reason.

00:36:26.800 So Kip,

00:36:28.580 if you said,

00:36:29.280 hey Ryan,

00:36:29.720 can you come up

00:36:30.300 to Salt Lake this weekend

00:36:31.240 and help me move

00:36:31.960 from here to here

00:36:32.760 and I don't really

00:36:33.820 want to do that,

00:36:34.320 I'm busy this weekend

00:36:35.140 or I got my things,

00:36:36.300 then I would say,

00:36:37.440 no,

00:36:38.240 I won't be able

00:36:38.620 to do that this weekend,

00:36:39.560 but good luck.

00:36:42.100 Yeah.

00:36:43.500 Without giving you

00:36:44.560 a reason.

00:36:45.400 Versus all the reasons,

00:36:45.780 yeah.

00:36:46.380 Right.

00:36:47.080 So there's little things

00:36:48.420 that you can do

00:36:49.380 that help you be

00:36:51.500 more assertive,

00:36:53.500 more vocal,

00:36:54.960 and establish

00:36:55.620 greater boundaries

00:36:56.400 and then you do

00:36:56.980 the after action review

00:36:57.900 on top of it

00:36:58.540 and you'll naturally

00:36:59.400 feel yourself

00:37:00.000 getting better at it.

00:37:01.260 What I love about

00:37:02.160 your advice is

00:37:03.080 this is you

00:37:04.420 coming to the realization

00:37:05.540 that people's perceptions

00:37:08.280 can be different

00:37:09.880 and it's not a big deal.

00:37:12.200 Yeah.

00:37:12.420 You do this so much

00:37:13.160 and you're like,

00:37:13.600 oh,

00:37:14.920 no harm,

00:37:16.460 no foul,

00:37:16.820 right?

00:37:17.000 Like it wasn't a big deal.

00:37:18.520 I could say things

00:37:19.380 and I didn't have to manage

00:37:20.400 other people's perceptions

00:37:21.460 and reactions

00:37:22.120 to what I might do.

00:37:23.480 It's like exhausting.

00:37:24.520 It's really exhausting

00:37:26.580 and I think those reps

00:37:29.200 help you learn

00:37:29.900 that you can handle rejection.

00:37:32.060 You're not going to die.

00:37:33.660 They can see things differently.

00:37:34.860 It's not a big deal

00:37:35.800 and maybe a trigger

00:37:37.760 just because it's just now

00:37:39.140 entering my mind.

00:37:39.960 I had this conversation

00:37:40.940 with the gentleman

00:37:41.560 a couple months ago

00:37:42.780 and he was talking about

00:37:43.660 he's just exhausted,

00:37:45.320 just exhausted

00:37:46.240 and the first thought

00:37:48.680 that enters my mind

00:37:49.460 to you guys listening

00:37:50.760 that are like,

00:37:51.340 oh,

00:37:51.400 I feel so exhausted

00:37:53.000 is because you're

00:37:53.720 probably trying

00:37:55.000 to manage

00:37:55.960 people's emotions

00:37:57.280 rather than just your own.

00:37:59.540 Yeah.

00:37:59.840 Yeah.

00:38:00.180 You're trying to do this

00:38:02.040 and appease them

00:38:02.920 and you're managing

00:38:04.120 people's choice,

00:38:05.700 their freedoms

00:38:06.420 to choose to react

00:38:07.920 a particular way.

00:38:08.820 You're trying to manipulate it all.

00:38:11.420 It's exhausting.

00:38:13.320 Let go.

00:38:14.080 It's their choice

00:38:16.860 back to kind of

00:38:17.540 what you said earlier, right?

00:38:18.780 There's some health

00:38:19.640 in realizing that

00:38:21.180 how people react to us

00:38:22.580 is still up to them

00:38:23.900 and there's some freedom

00:38:26.000 in getting the reps

00:38:28.380 necessary to have

00:38:29.240 that clarity

00:38:29.760 and belief and hope.

00:38:31.800 I wrote a couple

00:38:32.720 other things down here

00:38:33.620 on those veins

00:38:34.320 because this has been hard

00:38:35.300 for me is learning

00:38:36.200 to take people's word

00:38:37.340 for what they say.

00:38:39.200 You know,

00:38:39.820 a great example of that

00:38:40.920 would be,

00:38:41.520 you know,

00:38:41.800 your wife's upset

00:38:42.540 about something

00:38:43.220 or you notice

00:38:43.680 she's off a little bit

00:38:44.700 and you're like,

00:38:45.240 hey, what's wrong?

00:38:46.100 And she's like,

00:38:46.520 nothing or I'm fine.

00:38:49.840 Okay.

00:38:50.760 Okay.

00:38:51.920 Okay.

00:38:52.420 Like,

00:38:53.160 what are you,

00:38:53.680 what's the alternative?

00:38:55.560 You hound her

00:38:56.280 and badger her to death

00:38:57.580 over why she's not feeling

00:38:58.780 the way that you want her to feel

00:39:00.340 and you know,

00:39:01.020 you know,

00:39:01.640 there's something wrong.

00:39:02.900 So you couple that

00:39:03.940 with creating an environment

00:39:05.020 where she feels comfortable

00:39:06.140 coming to you

00:39:06.900 when she's ready

00:39:07.780 or if she ever wants

00:39:09.240 to come with you about it.

00:39:10.280 I'm not really good at this

00:39:11.680 but I can tell you

00:39:12.540 that when I do this,

00:39:14.680 my life is better

00:39:16.280 and their life is better

00:39:17.460 because some people

00:39:18.560 just need a moment

00:39:19.440 to process something

00:39:20.420 or need to escape

00:39:22.380 out of something

00:39:23.140 and I'm sure

00:39:23.540 that's one thing

00:39:24.160 I'm really trying

00:39:25.120 to,

00:39:25.780 to work on

00:39:28.360 is just letting people

00:39:29.900 have their space,

00:39:31.440 letting them,

00:39:32.320 acknowledging their agency

00:39:33.560 that they can make

00:39:34.680 their own choices

00:39:35.320 and do their own things

00:39:36.380 and say their own things

00:39:37.320 without it trying to like

00:39:38.440 me trying to

00:39:39.240 take that baggage

00:39:40.440 on as my own

00:39:41.200 and then also

00:39:41.960 just being around

00:39:43.100 the right people.

00:39:45.400 If you're around

00:39:46.400 emotionally volatile people,

00:39:48.220 if you're around people

00:39:49.160 who are manipulative,

00:39:51.280 like they will use

00:39:52.740 your nice guy syndrome

00:39:54.780 against you

00:39:55.920 deliberately

00:39:56.760 and unintentionally.

00:39:58.780 So be very aware

00:40:00.100 of the manipulators

00:40:01.120 and the emotionally broken

00:40:02.640 because they will

00:40:04.020 work you over

00:40:05.100 and you won't even realize

00:40:06.340 until this guy

00:40:07.100 you were talking about

00:40:07.800 says,

00:40:08.340 I'm exhausted.

00:40:09.360 Of course you are.

00:40:10.340 It's hard enough

00:40:10.920 to manage your own emotions

00:40:11.940 let alone somebody else's.

00:40:13.800 Yeah, absolutely.

00:40:15.580 Lonnie Dodd,

00:40:17.240 we only have so much time

00:40:19.020 with our kids

00:40:19.740 but to be a better version

00:40:21.400 of ourselves

00:40:22.060 it calls,

00:40:23.260 calls to be away from them.

00:40:25.800 How do you deal

00:40:26.800 with not feeling guilty

00:40:27.920 about this

00:40:28.900 knowing that it's time

00:40:30.040 you won't get back?

00:40:31.100 So literally

00:40:31.740 related to this question

00:40:33.240 but you know,

00:40:34.700 I don't know,

00:40:35.080 maybe your answer

00:40:35.960 is the same.

00:40:36.460 Yeah, well

00:40:38.260 I don't know

00:40:39.360 what you mean

00:40:39.840 by be away

00:40:40.760 from your kids.

00:40:41.660 I don't know

00:40:41.980 if you mean

00:40:42.500 be away from them

00:40:43.500 for an hour

00:40:44.060 while you go to the gym

00:40:45.020 or be away from them

00:40:46.020 for two weeks

00:40:46.760 while you're

00:40:47.380 working the oil fields

00:40:49.600 in the Dakotas.

00:40:50.680 Like I don't know

00:40:51.700 and there's a difference.

00:40:53.800 Now I'm not saying

00:40:54.880 anything's wrong

00:40:55.520 with going to work

00:40:56.180 the oil fields

00:40:57.000 and you're gone

00:40:57.560 for two or three weeks

00:40:58.500 at a time.

00:40:59.080 Sometimes you just

00:40:59.740 have to make it work.

00:41:00.760 I would say

00:41:01.260 that's probably

00:41:01.780 not conducive

00:41:02.680 to a great family dynamic

00:41:03.980 and you may try

00:41:05.320 to figure out

00:41:05.820 how to address that

00:41:06.800 but if you just mean

00:41:08.360 you going to the gym

00:41:10.560 for an hour

00:41:12.280 let me give you

00:41:14.200 another perspective.

00:41:15.500 I've really been

00:41:16.260 trying to do this lately

00:41:17.260 when it comes to people

00:41:18.180 asking me questions

00:41:19.000 like giving them

00:41:20.240 a different way

00:41:20.920 of looking at it.

00:41:22.100 So here's my different way

00:41:23.000 of looking at this.

00:41:24.380 Instead of you

00:41:25.680 thinking that

00:41:27.060 you have to be

00:41:28.760 away from them

00:41:29.440 you do.

00:41:29.940 You do need

00:41:30.400 your own time.

00:41:31.220 You really do.

00:41:31.800 You get guilty about it

00:41:33.980 but let me flip this

00:41:35.400 on its head a little bit.

00:41:37.260 They actually need

00:41:38.220 time away from you too.

00:41:42.160 They have to have

00:41:43.760 engagement with their mom.

00:41:45.340 They have to have

00:41:45.880 engagement with their

00:41:46.580 school teachers.

00:41:47.520 They have to have

00:41:48.140 engagement with their

00:41:48.920 friends.

00:41:49.860 They have to have

00:41:50.620 space away from you too.

00:41:53.480 So this is not a thing

00:41:54.880 where it's like

00:41:55.640 it doesn't work

00:41:56.460 both ways.

00:41:57.240 It's actually good

00:41:58.860 for them to be

00:42:00.340 away from you

00:42:01.020 in small doses

00:42:01.940 so they get

00:42:02.800 to learn

00:42:03.480 how to

00:42:04.400 handle themselves

00:42:05.560 how to work

00:42:06.400 with others

00:42:06.960 how to deal

00:42:07.480 with different

00:42:07.880 personalities

00:42:08.540 how to handle

00:42:10.000 their own situations

00:42:10.920 when dad's not around.

00:42:12.900 So you going to the gym

00:42:13.840 for an hour

00:42:14.380 in the morning

00:42:14.880 is actually a good thing

00:42:16.340 because it gives them

00:42:17.580 the space

00:42:18.160 that they might need.

00:42:19.560 You may want to put

00:42:20.300 some boundaries in place

00:42:21.400 like my youngest son

00:42:23.240 he gets up so early

00:42:24.460 I get to

00:42:25.180 I get up

00:42:25.740 I go to the gym

00:42:26.520 at

00:42:27.080 I get up at 530

00:42:28.320 I get into the gym

00:42:29.280 at 6

00:42:29.740 and sometimes

00:42:31.800 at 530

00:42:32.860 when I wake up

00:42:33.600 he's already up

00:42:34.520 I'm like

00:42:36.120 no no no

00:42:37.000 we're not

00:42:37.380 we're not doing this

00:42:38.620 so I got this

00:42:40.040 little alarm

00:42:40.720 that turns yellow

00:42:41.980 at 545

00:42:43.800 and then it turns

00:42:45.280 green at 6

00:42:46.180 so at 545

00:42:47.440 he can get up

00:42:48.240 and play in his room

00:42:49.200 and at 6

00:42:50.540 he can get up

00:42:51.660 and go watch a show

00:42:53.160 or make breakfast

00:42:53.960 or whatever else

00:42:54.720 he wants

00:42:55.120 he wants to do

00:42:56.020 but so there's

00:42:56.840 boundaries in place

00:42:57.840 but I go to the gym

00:42:59.420 he's usually already up

00:43:00.820 he's fine

00:43:01.540 and I tell him

00:43:02.940 hey bud

00:43:03.380 I'm going to the gym

00:43:04.340 I'll be back at this time

00:43:05.580 and when I come back

00:43:06.760 I'm fully engaged

00:43:08.040 and present with him

00:43:08.780 like I was telling you earlier

00:43:09.700 we did Legos this morning

00:43:10.820 so that's another thing

00:43:12.920 that you can do

00:43:13.500 is say

00:43:13.820 hey look guys

00:43:14.400 I'm going to be away

00:43:15.000 for this period of time

00:43:16.260 but when I come back

00:43:17.820 this is what we'll do

00:43:18.840 and if you follow through

00:43:20.500 on that

00:43:21.060 they'll actually look forward

00:43:22.680 to you coming back

00:43:23.780 oh sweet dad's home

00:43:25.600 now we can play

00:43:26.300 and isn't that what we want

00:43:27.300 don't we want our kids

00:43:28.200 to want us around

00:43:29.200 you have to be gone

00:43:30.580 in order to provide that space

00:43:32.000 so they want you there

00:43:33.180 yeah

00:43:34.080 Matt Brennan

00:43:36.260 what would you do differently

00:43:38.220 if you wrote sovereignty today

00:43:40.320 or did an update

00:43:41.540 he makes a reference

00:43:43.340 to Jocko and Leif

00:43:44.640 you know

00:43:45.180 admitting that

00:43:45.980 in dichotomy of leadership

00:43:47.140 that they created

00:43:47.860 some accountability monsters

00:43:49.260 I wonder how you might

00:43:51.260 present the concepts differently

00:43:52.960 in an update to sovereignty

00:43:54.240 I've heard a lot of guys

00:43:55.480 in the IC talk about

00:43:56.660 nice guy syndrome

00:43:57.620 while also blaming their ex

00:43:59.760 or someone else

00:44:00.580 for their problems

00:44:01.440 failures and struggles

00:44:02.480 it's absolutely acceptable

00:44:04.620 to set boundaries

00:44:05.480 and to take care of yourself

00:44:06.920 but does a presentation

00:44:08.300 of sovereignty

00:44:10.240 put you

00:44:11.280 to create a danger

00:44:12.940 in creating a man

00:44:14.140 hell-bent on

00:44:14.980 focused on personal achievement

00:44:16.600 as opposed to

00:44:18.000 a life of contribution

00:44:19.480 shouldn't effort

00:44:20.940 to be sovereign men

00:44:23.000 to be how we should show up

00:44:24.860 for those we lead

00:44:25.740 follow and walk alongside

00:44:27.060 yes we benefit personally

00:44:29.160 from calibration

00:44:30.160 and conditioning

00:44:31.380 but does

00:44:32.040 really doesn't matter

00:44:34.000 if we fail

00:44:34.840 in connection

00:44:35.480 and contribution

00:44:36.560 so there's some assumptions here

00:44:38.500 but I'll give it over to you

00:44:40.000 yeah

00:44:41.120 I mean

00:44:41.440 I agree with that last premise

00:44:43.280 that the whole purpose

00:44:45.300 of sovereignty

00:44:45.940 is to be able to more effectively

00:44:47.380 serve other people

00:44:48.440 right

00:44:49.400 you can't

00:44:50.040 like how well

00:44:51.060 could I serve other people

00:44:52.300 mainly my family

00:44:53.540 if I'm enslaved

00:44:54.920 in tens of thousands

00:44:56.680 of dollars of debt

00:44:57.740 like how present

00:44:59.820 and available

00:45:01.620 can I be

00:45:02.400 for my children

00:45:03.440 if I'm overweight

00:45:05.200 and battling diabetes

00:45:07.660 and eat all the food

00:45:09.900 in the house

00:45:10.440 every time I sit down

00:45:12.020 like

00:45:12.980 I'm not serving anybody

00:45:15.140 so this is why

00:45:16.020 it's really important

00:45:16.980 and it's a good thing

00:45:18.540 that you brought up

00:45:19.140 extreme ownership

00:45:19.880 because I see

00:45:21.540 where you're going

00:45:22.180 with your question

00:45:22.940 about wouldn't sovereignty

00:45:24.280 just be all about

00:45:25.560 you achieving

00:45:26.240 yeah

00:45:28.020 but if you lose

00:45:29.280 the vision

00:45:30.020 and we talk a lot

00:45:30.900 about vision

00:45:31.520 the vision

00:45:32.620 that you have

00:45:33.400 of wanting to lead

00:45:34.460 and serve

00:45:35.040 and work with others

00:45:36.160 then you have

00:45:37.420 to be sovereign

00:45:38.080 you have to

00:45:39.620 you know

00:45:40.640 Bedros Koulian

00:45:41.340 a friend of mine

00:45:42.040 and the founder

00:45:43.660 of Fit Body Boot Camp

00:45:44.760 and he's an incredible

00:45:45.860 human being

00:45:46.460 he talks about it a lot

00:45:48.140 and he gets a lot

00:45:48.580 of flack for it

00:45:49.200 he's like

00:45:49.500 you know

00:45:49.800 it's better to be rich

00:45:51.680 than it is to be broke

00:45:53.440 and in fact

00:45:55.000 he even says

00:45:56.200 that it's

00:45:56.580 it's a moral requirement

00:45:57.940 for you to be rich

00:45:58.980 because

00:46:00.860 the amount of money

00:46:02.460 that guy donates

00:46:03.560 to charity

00:46:04.140 is

00:46:05.540 a multiplier

00:46:07.820 of the amount

00:46:08.840 of money

00:46:09.140 I donate to charity

00:46:10.140 because he makes

00:46:10.980 a lot more money

00:46:11.640 so

00:46:11.920 who's helping

00:46:13.360 more people

00:46:14.100 he is

00:46:15.300 right

00:46:17.400 I'm not

00:46:17.700 that's not an indictment

00:46:18.880 against me

00:46:19.380 by the way

00:46:19.880 it just

00:46:20.640 is the facts

00:46:21.540 like he has

00:46:22.040 more capital

00:46:23.100 to invest

00:46:24.240 in other people

00:46:25.120 now compare that

00:46:28.120 to the guy

00:46:28.640 who

00:46:29.140 is barely

00:46:30.280 making ends meet

00:46:31.460 he's up to his eyeballs

00:46:33.220 in debt

00:46:33.720 he's losing money

00:46:35.260 he's bleeding money

00:46:36.020 every single month

00:46:37.080 man that guy's not

00:46:38.020 present for his family

00:46:39.060 he's not gonna be at home

00:46:40.960 because he's working

00:46:41.780 he's not donating

00:46:43.040 to charity

00:46:43.580 he has no free time

00:46:44.960 to do anything

00:46:45.600 of his own

00:46:46.300 or to help

00:46:46.820 other people

00:46:47.520 or to connect

00:46:48.560 with other people

00:46:49.320 he is enslaved

00:46:50.740 he is the opposite

00:46:51.880 of sovereign

00:46:52.440 so you

00:46:53.900 you have to have both

00:46:54.860 but I do see

00:46:55.700 how somebody

00:46:56.420 could

00:46:56.880 believe

00:46:58.420 that

00:46:59.820 that's

00:47:01.680 what sovereignty

00:47:02.400 would mean

00:47:03.080 and it doesn't

00:47:05.120 you have to tie it

00:47:06.440 well technically

00:47:07.300 it does

00:47:07.880 but in order

00:47:08.640 for it to be moral

00:47:09.720 it has to be

00:47:10.740 tied to service

00:47:11.580 the only other thing

00:47:14.360 I would say

00:47:14.900 about the book

00:47:15.780 is I've had this thought

00:47:17.020 over the years

00:47:17.800 like did I

00:47:18.800 I don't think

00:47:20.200 I overtly did this

00:47:21.400 but in a way

00:47:22.100 did I mock God

00:47:23.060 a little bit

00:47:23.560 by saying sovereignty

00:47:24.600 because I mean

00:47:25.820 that's a deeply

00:47:27.120 religious term

00:47:29.880 sovereignty

00:47:31.120 and we hear that

00:47:31.740 a lot of God's sovereignty

00:47:33.080 and I didn't

00:47:34.980 I didn't overtly do it

00:47:36.080 and I didn't even

00:47:36.680 deliberately intend

00:47:37.780 to do that

00:47:38.280 by any means

00:47:39.040 in fact

00:47:39.660 I'm very open

00:47:40.700 about talking

00:47:41.500 about why

00:47:42.700 being connected

00:47:44.700 to

00:47:45.560 a gospel

00:47:48.320 in some sort

00:47:49.220 is

00:47:49.880 is actually

00:47:50.620 a path

00:47:51.000 to sovereignty

00:47:51.540 it does not

00:47:52.180 hinder you

00:47:52.660 some people

00:47:53.120 think it does

00:47:53.700 it doesn't

00:47:54.260 it actually

00:47:55.000 leads to sovereignty

00:47:55.880 but also

00:47:57.480 through my own

00:47:59.200 struggles over the years

00:48:00.100 I've wondered

00:48:00.640 if

00:48:01.040 I took on

00:48:02.780 too much of myself

00:48:03.760 like the conversation

00:48:04.680 that we were having

00:48:05.240 earlier

00:48:05.560 like I did this

00:48:07.100 I created this

00:48:08.500 look at

00:48:09.320 all the amazing

00:48:10.480 look at my family

00:48:11.520 look at my wealth

00:48:12.600 look at the business

00:48:13.560 look at this

00:48:14.540 I did this

00:48:15.440 I did this

00:48:16.000 I created it

00:48:16.820 because I'm sovereign

00:48:17.660 and

00:48:19.120 I feel like

00:48:20.660 I may have been

00:48:21.280 mocking the principle

00:48:22.480 of God's sovereignty

00:48:24.060 in a way

00:48:25.160 not blatantly

00:48:26.380 but in a way

00:48:27.220 that's crossed my mind

00:48:28.240 yeah

00:48:29.120 well and I feel

00:48:30.520 yeah

00:48:31.580 I don't

00:48:32.180 I don't think you have

00:48:33.420 I believe

00:48:34.520 that the path

00:48:36.960 of growth

00:48:37.900 is made through

00:48:40.140 is made through

00:48:41.900 sovereignty

00:48:42.460 right

00:48:44.460 the

00:48:45.260 the ultimate

00:48:46.080 way for you to grow

00:48:47.420 as an individual

00:48:48.140 is to

00:48:49.280 take on that

00:48:50.360 and

00:48:51.560 and I think

00:48:52.300 that's God's intention

00:48:53.260 now

00:48:55.160 how much we

00:48:55.940 take

00:48:56.500 how much

00:48:58.020 we stroke our pride

00:48:59.140 and not give credit

00:49:00.480 where

00:49:01.220 you know

00:49:01.760 people influenced

00:49:02.940 and or God's creations

00:49:04.160 and those other things

00:49:05.100 played a part in that

00:49:06.180 that's

00:49:07.860 I

00:49:08.140 but it's a false dichotomy

00:49:09.860 right

00:49:10.140 I don't think those things

00:49:11.260 are necessarily true

00:49:12.440 and

00:49:13.000 and same thing

00:49:13.800 and I do want to call this out too

00:49:15.380 because like

00:49:15.840 I don't know why I'm

00:49:16.820 I'm bothered by this

00:49:17.760 by Matt's comment

00:49:18.620 right

00:49:18.960 it's like

00:49:19.480 you know

00:49:20.260 calibration and conditioning

00:49:21.920 but it really doesn't matter

00:49:22.920 if we fail in connection

00:49:23.860 and contribution

00:49:24.560 absolutely

00:49:26.980 it matters

00:49:27.800 and in the Iron Council

00:49:30.140 I want to make that

00:49:30.960 really clear

00:49:31.880 never

00:49:33.140 where you

00:49:33.780 will you hear

00:49:34.640 Ryan or me

00:49:35.620 or any leader

00:49:36.440 say that you should

00:49:38.360 dump

00:49:39.320 certain quadrants

00:49:40.820 around how you show up

00:49:42.540 and double down

00:49:43.600 and just

00:49:44.220 you know

00:49:44.960 just focus on

00:49:46.100 you know

00:49:47.160 conditioning

00:49:48.460 and don't worry about

00:49:49.320 those other things

00:49:50.080 I have seen it

00:49:51.120 but I don't think he's saying that

00:49:52.080 though

00:49:52.440 is he

00:49:53.000 he's saying that

00:49:54.200 if

00:49:54.500 he's saying that

00:49:55.780 if you succeed

00:49:56.620 in condition

00:49:57.560 and contribution

00:49:58.560 it's not really relevant

00:50:01.520 if you haven't

00:50:02.780 succeeded

00:50:03.280 in calibration

00:50:04.480 and

00:50:05.960 connection

00:50:07.300 he's saying that

00:50:08.540 it's all

00:50:09.400 I think what he's saying

00:50:10.260 is that all four

00:50:11.220 it's important

00:50:11.920 like you don't sacrifice

00:50:13.320 some for the others

00:50:15.360 I think he's saying

00:50:15.960 the same thing you are

00:50:17.000 okay

00:50:17.300 I think he was

00:50:18.880 I thought he was saying

00:50:19.820 the opposite

00:50:20.880 that

00:50:21.460 read it again

00:50:22.260 read it again

00:50:22.720 I'm curious now

00:50:23.440 shouldn't our efforts

00:50:24.700 be sovereign men

00:50:25.860 be about how we show up

00:50:27.280 for those we lead

00:50:28.240 follow or walk alongside

00:50:29.840 yes

00:50:30.760 we benefit personally

00:50:32.220 from calibration

00:50:33.280 and conditioning

00:50:34.000 but does

00:50:35.340 really

00:50:36.160 but does

00:50:37.400 there's some grammar here

00:50:38.740 but does

00:50:39.480 really doesn't matter

00:50:41.140 if we fail

00:50:42.060 in connection

00:50:42.780 and contribution

00:50:43.640 yeah

00:50:44.980 so I think he's saying

00:50:46.020 you need to have

00:50:46.900 all of them

00:50:47.780 because if you're good

00:50:48.620 in this contribution aspect

00:50:50.140 or

00:50:51.260 one aspect of your life

00:50:52.660 but you don't have

00:50:53.280 the condition

00:50:53.820 and the calibration

00:50:54.540 and the other components

00:50:55.480 of it

00:50:55.860 then it's not

00:50:57.060 it could be meaningless

00:50:58.520 okay

00:50:59.300 I was

00:51:00.160 I was

00:51:00.700 reading that wrong

00:51:02.100 and I was nervous

00:51:02.740 yeah

00:51:03.140 and maybe that's the point

00:51:05.220 that we're

00:51:05.840 that's a good way

00:51:07.220 to wrap that

00:51:08.000 is

00:51:08.540 it's important

00:51:09.520 that balance

00:51:10.180 of all of those areas

00:51:11.520 is critical

00:51:12.280 and we've seen guys

00:51:13.900 double down in one

00:51:14.940 and then it's like

00:51:16.300 months later

00:51:16.980 it's like

00:51:17.300 my marriage is falling apart

00:51:18.440 it's like guys

00:51:19.220 you have to be

00:51:20.620 diligent

00:51:21.340 in all of these areas

00:51:22.560 of your life

00:51:23.200 well and we've talked

00:51:25.400 about this too Kip

00:51:26.320 about the idea

00:51:27.220 of a balance

00:51:27.840 so if you have

00:51:28.760 an x and a y axis

00:51:30.200 and you put

00:51:31.160 at the corner

00:51:31.720 of each of those axis

00:51:32.600 is one of the quadrants

00:51:33.740 so you have

00:51:34.660 calibration

00:51:35.480 connection

00:51:36.360 condition

00:51:36.920 and contribution

00:51:37.700 and

00:51:39.140 on each x and y scale

00:51:41.380 there it goes up to 10

00:51:42.660 so 10 towards calibration

00:51:44.140 10 towards connection

00:51:45.240 10 towards condition

00:51:46.480 10 towards contribution

00:51:47.720 you can't

00:51:50.060 usually be

00:51:50.880 perfectly

00:51:51.500 balanced

00:51:52.200 meaning that

00:51:52.760 you're a 7

00:51:53.460 at all of those things

00:51:54.560 at any given time

00:51:55.620 that would create

00:51:57.320 like a perfect diamond

00:51:58.320 if you can kind of

00:51:59.060 visualize this with me

00:52:00.220 that's not usually

00:52:01.720 how it works

00:52:02.440 usually the way

00:52:03.400 it'll work

00:52:03.980 is you might be

00:52:05.200 like we did this

00:52:05.800 fitness transformation

00:52:06.780 challenge

00:52:07.380 so you might be

00:52:08.740 a 9

00:52:09.260 on your condition

00:52:10.300 quadrant

00:52:10.780 but in order

00:52:12.420 to do that

00:52:13.220 maybe you did

00:52:14.580 sacrifice

00:52:15.100 some family time

00:52:16.260 because you were

00:52:17.120 an hour and a half

00:52:18.000 or two hours

00:52:18.560 at the gym

00:52:19.020 where normally

00:52:19.500 you weren't there

00:52:20.240 at all

00:52:20.560 and so maybe

00:52:21.080 that instead

00:52:21.600 of being an 8

00:52:22.360 fell back

00:52:23.360 to a 7

00:52:24.000 or maybe

00:52:25.440 one of your children

00:52:26.580 is dealing

00:52:27.340 with substance

00:52:28.980 abuse

00:52:29.440 or suicidal ideation

00:52:31.100 and so you're

00:52:32.680 heavily focused

00:52:33.560 on that

00:52:34.180 and your

00:52:35.040 contribution

00:52:36.120 which is where

00:52:36.680 career would fall

00:52:37.600 goes down to like

00:52:38.640 a 3 or a 4

00:52:39.720 because you're

00:52:40.780 heavily focused

00:52:41.460 on that

00:52:41.940 and so

00:52:42.440 balancing is

00:52:43.660 dynamic

00:52:44.300 it is not

00:52:45.200 a static state

00:52:46.060 it's not like

00:52:46.600 you find

00:52:47.040 this perfect

00:52:47.700 homeostatic

00:52:49.060 place

00:52:49.720 where everything

00:52:50.460 is perfectly

00:52:51.160 symmetrically

00:52:51.940 balanced

00:52:52.500 and you're

00:52:52.840 distributing

00:52:53.320 equal amounts

00:52:54.100 of effort

00:52:54.540 and energy

00:52:55.060 towards every

00:52:56.140 aspect of your

00:52:56.800 life

00:52:57.140 no it's

00:52:57.660 constantly

00:52:58.260 ebbing

00:52:58.720 and flowing

00:52:59.260 and it's

00:53:00.040 our job

00:53:00.480 as men

00:53:00.940 to figure

00:53:01.380 out what

00:53:02.080 needs our

00:53:02.520 attention

00:53:02.920 the most

00:53:03.460 without

00:53:04.260 sacrificing

00:53:05.060 completely

00:53:05.700 the other

00:53:06.400 things that

00:53:06.820 are still

00:53:07.080 priorities

00:53:07.560 in our

00:53:07.840 lives

00:53:08.200 yeah

00:53:09.180 yeah

00:53:10.060 absolutely

00:53:10.760 all right

00:53:11.480 we're gonna

00:53:11.720 hop over

00:53:12.100 to Facebook

00:53:12.720 join us

00:53:13.720 to our

00:53:13.960 facebook.com

00:53:14.820 slash group

00:53:15.440 slash order

00:53:15.980 of man

00:53:16.380 John Warnick

00:53:18.260 what first

00:53:19.540 prompted you

00:53:20.280 to create

00:53:20.760 this group

00:53:21.320 and what

00:53:22.420 goals do

00:53:22.860 you have

00:53:23.200 for it

00:53:23.480 moving

00:53:23.740 forward

00:53:24.140 well the

00:53:26.380 prompt

00:53:26.740 was

00:53:27.280 there's a

00:53:28.360 couple

00:53:28.500 different

00:53:28.740 prompts

00:53:29.060 the prompt

00:53:29.460 was I

00:53:29.800 needed help

00:53:30.280 personally

00:53:30.700 and I'm

00:53:30.940 like well

00:53:31.320 I don't

00:53:32.100 know how

00:53:32.260 to do

00:53:32.460 this

00:53:32.760 I know

00:53:33.380 how to

00:53:33.700 do

00:53:33.840 some

00:53:34.080 things

00:53:34.420 I'm

00:53:34.780 sure

00:53:34.920 other

00:53:35.160 guys

00:53:35.520 know

00:53:35.700 how to

00:53:35.880 do

00:53:36.040 other

00:53:36.400 things

00:53:36.700 that I

00:53:36.900 don't

00:53:37.000 know

00:53:37.100 how to

00:53:37.280 do

00:53:37.460 what

00:53:38.080 if

00:53:38.200 we

00:53:38.320 figured

00:53:38.540 out

00:53:38.720 how to

00:53:38.940 do

00:53:39.040 this

00:53:39.200 together

00:53:39.560 and so

00:53:40.140 that's

00:53:40.400 why

00:53:40.580 he

00:53:40.720 created

00:53:41.020 order

00:53:41.500 of

00:53:41.640 man

00:53:41.880 when

00:53:42.600 he

00:53:42.680 says

00:53:42.840 group

00:53:43.280 I

00:53:43.500 actually

00:53:43.700 didn't

00:53:44.000 start

00:53:44.280 the

00:53:44.440 facebook

00:53:44.800 group

00:53:45.180 a lot

00:53:45.560 of

00:53:45.660 guys

00:53:45.840 don't

00:53:46.040 even

00:53:46.220 know

00:53:46.380 there's

00:53:46.600 a

00:53:46.700 podcast

00:53:47.140 associated

00:53:48.180 with

00:53:48.520 order

00:53:48.960 of

00:53:49.100 man

00:53:49.320 and

00:53:49.480 that's

00:53:49.700 where

00:53:49.820 it

00:53:49.940 started

00:53:50.300 I

00:53:50.660 started

00:53:50.920 the

00:53:51.120 website

00:53:52.800 and

00:53:53.760 the

00:53:53.960 podcast

00:53:54.280 at the

00:53:54.820 same

00:53:55.000 time

00:53:55.460 and then

00:53:55.740 the

00:53:55.940 facebook

00:53:56.320 group

00:53:56.720 came

00:53:57.060 later

00:53:57.440 as

00:53:57.940 a

00:53:58.340 social

00:53:58.600 media

00:53:59.020 tool

00:54:00.220 so

00:54:01.500 we

00:54:02.280 started

00:54:02.500 the

00:54:02.640 podcast

00:54:02.940 first

00:54:03.560 and

00:54:05.480 then

00:54:05.680 so

00:54:06.260 that's

00:54:06.760 what

00:54:06.860 prompted

00:54:07.200 it

00:54:07.320 what

00:54:07.440 was

00:54:07.560 the

00:54:07.660 other

00:54:07.800 part

00:54:07.980 of

00:54:08.060 the

00:54:08.140 question

00:54:08.480 oh

00:54:09.020 what

00:54:09.180 are

00:54:09.280 our

00:54:09.420 plans

00:54:09.720 moving

00:54:10.020 forward

00:54:10.400 yep

00:54:10.980 a lot

00:54:12.660 of

00:54:12.740 the

00:54:12.880 same

00:54:13.120 you know

00:54:13.680 we're

00:54:13.860 going to

00:54:14.040 continue

00:54:14.340 to ramp

00:54:14.760 up

00:54:15.020 I

00:54:15.180 want

00:54:15.320 to

00:54:15.440 build

00:54:15.680 our

00:54:15.860 social

00:54:16.140 media

00:54:16.380 presence

00:54:16.800 simply

00:54:17.140 so

00:54:17.360 we

00:54:17.540 can

00:54:17.680 reach

00:54:17.940 more

00:54:18.160 men

00:54:18.440 not

00:54:18.700 just

00:54:19.020 domestically

00:54:19.680 but

00:54:19.900 internationally

00:54:20.460 I

00:54:21.280 just

00:54:21.480 did

00:54:21.660 a

00:54:21.760 little

00:54:21.880 exercise

00:54:22.320 inside

00:54:22.820 of

00:54:23.020 our

00:54:23.140 brotherhood

00:54:23.520 the

00:54:23.640 iron

00:54:23.820 council

00:54:24.320 on

00:54:25.560 where

00:54:25.720 everybody

00:54:26.140 lives

00:54:26.520 I

00:54:26.640 mean

00:54:26.700 we've

00:54:26.900 got

00:54:27.140 China

00:54:28.420 Australia

00:54:29.640 Czech

00:54:31.540 Republic

00:54:32.380 Sweden

00:54:34.000 South

00:54:35.220 Korea

00:54:35.780 Canada

00:54:36.920 Australia

00:54:37.520 I'm

00:54:39.060 sure

00:54:39.160 there's

00:54:39.320 some

00:54:39.460 African

00:54:39.800 countries

00:54:40.240 in there

00:54:40.520 as well

00:54:41.140 more

00:54:41.660 in the

00:54:41.900 UK

00:54:42.220 it's

00:54:43.560 spanning

00:54:43.960 the

00:54:44.180 entire

00:54:44.520 globe

00:54:44.880 at this

00:54:45.160 point

00:54:45.380 it's

00:54:45.580 really

00:54:45.820 cool

00:54:46.140 to see

00:54:46.440 yeah

00:54:46.680 so

00:54:48.820 more

00:54:49.880 of that

00:54:50.160 for sure

00:54:50.640 and then

00:54:51.160 Kip

00:54:51.380 you and

00:54:51.620 I

00:54:51.700 have

00:54:51.840 been

00:54:51.980 very

00:54:52.220 vocal

00:54:52.560 about

00:54:53.060 making

00:54:53.420 sure

00:54:53.860 like

00:54:54.140 testing

00:54:54.880 these

00:54:55.120 local

00:54:55.460 chapters

00:54:55.940 and I

00:54:56.320 think

00:54:56.480 that's

00:54:56.740 going

00:54:56.840 to

00:54:56.920 come

00:54:57.120 in

00:54:57.220 the

00:54:57.340 first

00:54:57.560 quarter

00:54:57.860 of

00:54:58.000 this

00:54:58.160 year

00:54:58.420 where

00:54:58.680 we

00:54:58.880 get

00:54:59.140 guys

00:54:59.440 together

00:54:59.760 face

00:55:00.100 to

00:55:00.260 face

00:55:00.580 knee

00:55:00.800 to

00:55:00.880 knee

00:55:01.060 shoulder

00:55:01.380 to

00:55:01.540 shoulder

00:55:01.840 doing

00:55:02.760 work

00:55:03.140 not

00:55:03.340 just

00:55:03.560 always

00:55:03.880 working

00:55:04.220 on

00:55:04.360 themselves

00:55:04.760 but

00:55:05.120 I

00:55:05.920 think

00:55:06.100 one

00:55:06.320 thing

00:55:06.480 I

00:55:06.600 want

00:55:06.740 to

00:55:06.820 incorporate

00:55:07.240 with

00:55:07.540 each

00:55:07.800 one

00:55:08.000 of

00:55:08.120 these

00:55:08.300 chapters

00:55:08.740 is

00:55:09.160 they

00:55:09.300 have

00:55:09.560 to

00:55:09.680 be

00:55:09.900 tied

00:55:10.240 to

00:55:10.540 some

00:55:10.880 sort

00:55:11.200 of

00:55:11.320 charitable

00:55:11.680 work

00:55:12.980 in

00:55:13.480 the

00:55:13.660 community

00:55:14.080 whether

00:55:14.540 they

00:55:14.780 tie

00:55:15.240 themselves

00:55:15.580 to

00:55:16.140 an

00:55:16.380 existing

00:55:16.780 charity

00:55:17.780 like

00:55:18.060 Rotary

00:55:18.580 or

00:55:18.820 Chamber

00:55:19.200 or

00:55:19.440 something

00:55:19.640 like

00:55:19.900 that

00:55:20.140 or

00:55:20.300 Elks

00:55:20.660 Club

00:55:20.940 or

00:55:22.260 they

00:55:22.400 create

00:55:22.640 their

00:55:22.820 own

00:55:23.100 and

00:55:23.680 and

00:55:24.000 they

00:55:24.120 start

00:55:24.380 their

00:55:24.520 own

00:55:24.660 thing

00:55:24.940 but

00:55:25.240 I

00:55:25.480 want

00:55:25.720 each

00:55:25.940 of

00:55:26.040 these

00:55:26.140 chapters

00:55:26.520 to

00:55:26.700 be

00:55:26.840 tied

00:55:27.080 into

00:55:27.240 their

00:55:27.380 community

00:55:27.780 where

00:55:28.020 they're

00:55:28.140 actually

00:55:28.380 serving

00:55:28.800 and

00:55:28.960 helping

00:55:29.260 so

00:55:30.620 yeah

00:55:31.820 I

00:55:31.920 think

00:55:32.040 that's

00:55:32.240 the

00:55:32.360 next

00:55:32.520 big

00:55:32.720 move

00:55:33.060 for

00:55:33.360 what

00:55:33.520 we're

00:55:33.740 what

00:55:34.060 we're

00:55:34.160 going

00:55:34.240 to

00:55:34.280 be

00:55:34.380 doing

00:55:34.660 other

00:55:35.180 than

00:55:35.320 that

00:55:35.460 just

00:55:35.660 continuing

00:55:36.060 to

00:55:36.240 double

00:55:36.440 down

00:55:36.780 and

00:55:37.060 adapt

00:55:37.980 and

00:55:38.160 pivot

00:55:38.340 as

00:55:38.480 we

00:55:38.600 need

00:55:38.740 to

00:55:38.920 talking

00:55:40.740 about

00:55:41.040 Europe

00:55:41.400 and

00:55:41.700 geographic

00:55:42.160 locations

00:55:42.880 question

00:55:43.680 from

00:55:44.080 Taddeus

00:55:44.720 Horak

00:55:45.380 greetings

00:55:46.400 from

00:55:46.740 Central

00:55:47.140 Europe

00:55:47.560 I

00:55:48.500 recently

00:55:48.920 got

00:55:49.240 blessed

00:55:49.620 by

00:55:49.820 a

00:55:49.960 relationship

00:55:50.380 with

00:55:50.660 a

00:55:50.780 girl

00:55:50.920 that

00:55:51.120 I

00:55:51.260 love

00:55:51.580 we're

00:55:52.000 both

00:55:52.320 in

00:55:52.520 our

00:55:52.660 early

00:55:52.920 20s

00:55:53.460 Christian

00:55:53.920 and

00:55:54.460 we

00:55:54.580 want

00:55:54.840 to

00:55:54.940 stay

00:55:55.140 physically

00:55:55.680 pure

00:55:56.100 before

00:55:56.440 each

00:55:56.720 other

00:55:56.940 and

00:55:57.060 before

00:55:57.300 God

00:55:57.760 do

00:55:58.540 you

00:55:58.620 have

00:55:58.740 any

00:55:58.920 advice

00:55:59.280 on

00:55:59.520 keeping

00:55:59.780 boundaries

00:56:00.300 in

00:56:00.600 this

00:56:00.760 stage

00:56:01.060 of

00:56:01.200 a

00:56:01.300 relationship

00:56:01.840 maybe

00:56:02.440 even

00:56:02.740 some

00:56:03.020 tips

00:56:03.320 from

00:56:03.560 your

00:56:03.700 personal

00:56:04.040 experience

00:56:04.680 thank

00:56:05.500 you

00:56:05.620 for

00:56:05.800 all

00:56:05.940 you

00:56:06.100 do

00:56:06.320 this

00:56:09.240 is

00:56:09.400 tough

00:56:09.820 I

00:56:10.180 mean

00:56:10.300 I

00:56:10.440 commend

00:56:10.760 your

00:56:10.960 decision

00:56:11.360 and

00:56:12.140 it

00:56:12.740 is

00:56:13.080 it

00:56:13.800 is

00:56:13.940 a

00:56:14.060 tough

00:56:14.280 one

00:56:14.580 and

00:56:15.120 and

00:56:15.360 I've

00:56:15.600 I've

00:56:15.940 done

00:56:16.080 this

00:56:16.300 at

00:56:16.460 stages

00:56:16.740 in

00:56:16.900 my

00:56:17.040 life

00:56:17.300 and

00:56:17.400 it

00:56:17.520 is

00:56:17.780 it

00:56:18.060 is

00:56:18.180 a

00:56:18.300 hard

00:56:18.520 thing

00:56:18.740 to

00:56:18.880 do

00:56:19.160 especially

00:56:21.120 when

00:56:21.340 you're

00:56:21.460 20

00:56:21.700 years

00:56:21.920 old

00:56:22.260 and

00:56:22.360 the

00:56:22.480 hormones

00:56:22.840 are

00:56:23.020 raging

00:56:23.320 and

00:56:23.520 you're

00:56:23.660 deeply

00:56:23.980 in

00:56:24.220 love

00:56:24.720 and

00:56:24.900 like

00:56:25.120 that's

00:56:25.700 I

00:56:26.440 mean

00:56:26.540 the

00:56:26.680 biggest

00:56:26.940 thing

00:56:27.260 is

00:56:27.420 you

00:56:27.540 just

00:56:27.760 have

00:56:28.000 to

00:56:28.140 set

00:56:28.340 boundaries

00:56:28.720 and

00:56:28.940 keep

00:56:29.160 yourself

00:56:29.500 out

00:56:29.720 of

00:56:29.820 trouble

00:56:30.140 you

00:56:30.620 know

00:56:30.780 you're

00:56:31.100 going

00:56:31.180 to

00:56:31.260 get

00:56:41.360 together

00:56:41.660 it's

00:56:42.320 quiet

00:56:42.680 and

00:56:43.060 it's

00:56:43.240 dark

00:56:43.460 and

00:56:44.120 you

00:56:44.380 mitigate

00:56:44.880 90%

00:56:45.580 of

00:56:45.740 the

00:56:45.840 problems

00:56:46.000 yeah

00:56:46.300 yeah

00:56:46.980 yeah

00:56:47.820 the

00:56:48.700 little

00:56:49.420 idle

00:56:50.020 hands

00:56:50.420 are

00:56:50.540 the

00:56:50.640 devil's

00:56:50.980 workshop

00:56:51.420 kind

00:56:51.800 of

00:56:51.920 phrase

00:56:52.400 would

00:56:52.920 definitely

00:56:53.320 come

00:56:53.600 into

00:56:53.740 play

00:56:53.960 here

00:56:54.240 but

00:56:54.880 yeah

00:56:55.000 I

00:56:55.140 think

00:56:55.320 when

00:56:55.480 you

00:56:55.600 guys

00:56:55.800 go

00:56:56.020 out

00:56:56.240 spend

00:56:56.520 time

00:56:57.040 in

00:56:57.660 public

00:56:58.060 you

00:56:58.740 know

00:56:58.860 go

00:56:59.000 to

00:56:59.140 go

00:56:59.360 to

00:56:59.500 restaurants

00:56:59.920 together

00:57:00.460 do

00:57:01.720 group

00:57:02.080 dates

00:57:02.580 things

00:57:02.960 like

00:57:03.200 that

00:57:03.600 try

00:57:03.900 not

00:57:04.120 to

00:57:04.280 be

00:57:04.460 together

00:57:04.940 alone

00:57:06.380 I

00:57:06.900 know

00:57:07.120 I

00:57:07.400 know

00:57:07.560 guys

00:57:07.980 are

00:57:08.120 probably

00:57:09.140 mocking

00:57:09.580 it

00:57:09.860 but

00:57:10.220 you

00:57:10.380 know

00:57:10.560 I

00:57:10.820 think

00:57:11.020 it's

00:57:11.140 amazing

00:57:11.540 I

00:57:12.440 think

00:57:12.580 the

00:57:12.720 fact

00:57:12.920 that

00:57:13.080 you

00:57:13.180 want

00:57:13.320 to

00:57:13.380 do

00:57:13.500 this

00:57:13.760 and

00:57:13.860 she

00:57:14.080 agrees

00:57:14.440 it's

00:57:14.780 going

00:57:14.880 to

00:57:14.940 be

00:57:15.040 a

00:57:15.160 real

00:57:15.320 challenge

00:57:15.740 for

00:57:15.980 you

00:57:16.140 for

00:57:16.340 sure

00:57:16.660 but

00:57:17.340 it

00:57:18.480 is

00:57:18.640 what

00:57:18.760 it

00:57:18.860 is

00:57:19.000 I

00:57:19.140 don't

00:57:19.340 really

00:57:19.620 want

00:57:19.800 to

00:57:19.880 get

00:57:20.020 too

00:57:20.300 much

00:57:20.540 into

00:57:20.780 it

00:57:20.940 because

00:57:21.380 you

00:57:22.000 know

00:57:22.120 it's

00:57:22.320 your

00:57:22.680 your

00:57:23.160 fiance

00:57:23.560 but

00:57:24.200 so

00:57:25.080 I'm

00:57:25.240 being

00:57:25.640 sensitive

00:57:26.560 of

00:57:26.820 that

00:57:27.080 but

00:57:27.260 like

00:57:27.520 maybe

00:57:28.660 it's

00:57:28.860 rules

00:57:29.140 for

00:57:29.480 you

00:57:29.760 know

00:57:38.120 like

00:57:38.540 whatever

00:57:38.840 your

00:57:39.080 rules

00:57:39.360 are

00:57:39.620 have

00:57:39.940 those

00:57:40.220 rules

00:57:40.640 don't

00:57:41.000 have

00:57:41.200 unspoken

00:57:41.760 rules

00:57:42.160 yeah

00:57:42.460 yeah

00:57:43.140 if

00:57:43.500 you're

00:57:43.660 gonna

00:57:43.800 say

00:57:44.680 hey

00:57:44.880 we

00:57:45.020 can

00:57:45.160 make

00:57:45.400 out

00:57:45.720 but

00:57:45.940 like

00:57:46.160 we

00:57:46.260 can

00:57:46.380 only

00:57:46.540 make

00:57:46.800 out

00:57:46.960 for

00:57:47.100 10

00:57:47.340 minutes

00:57:47.640 set

00:57:48.020 an

00:57:48.160 alarm

00:57:48.460 I

00:57:48.760 know

00:57:49.120 it

00:57:49.240 sounds

00:57:49.560 silly

00:57:49.940 but

00:57:50.820 you

00:57:50.940 gotta

00:57:51.220 have

00:57:51.520 rules

00:57:51.880 because

00:57:52.220 it's

00:57:52.500 so

00:57:52.780 easy

00:57:53.100 for

00:57:53.320 you

00:57:53.520 to

00:57:53.720 fall

00:57:54.300 into

00:57:54.960 doing

00:57:56.100 something

00:57:56.420 you

00:57:56.540 don't

00:57:56.680 want

00:57:56.800 to

00:57:56.860 do

00:57:57.020 and

00:57:57.200 then

00:57:57.320 unfortunately

00:57:57.760 it's

00:57:58.080 going

00:57:58.160 to

00:57:58.260 feel

00:57:58.420 good

00:57:58.720 for

00:57:58.960 15

00:57:59.560 minutes

00:57:59.920 for

00:58:00.120 half

00:58:00.400 an

00:58:00.520 hour

00:58:00.680 you're

00:58:00.880 gonna

00:58:00.900 have

00:58:01.060 that

00:58:01.220 deep

00:58:01.500 really

00:58:01.720 good

00:58:01.940 connection

00:58:02.420 and

00:58:04.300 then

00:58:04.600 you'll

00:58:05.300 never

00:58:05.760 have

00:58:06.060 the

00:58:06.240 feeling

00:58:06.540 of

00:58:06.740 knowing

00:58:07.000 that

00:58:07.180 you

00:58:07.280 guys

00:58:07.460 waited

00:58:07.700 for

00:58:07.920 each

00:58:08.100 other

00:58:08.340 for

00:58:08.620 15

00:58:09.160 minutes

00:58:09.440 of

00:58:09.620 satisfaction

00:58:10.180 yeah

00:58:11.260 so

00:58:11.700 take

00:58:12.280 that

00:58:12.440 for

00:58:12.580 what

00:58:12.700 it's

00:58:12.820 worth

00:58:13.120 I

00:58:13.760 love

00:58:13.960 it

00:58:14.160 good

00:58:14.520 job

00:58:14.740 man

00:58:15.000 um

00:58:16.460 Philip

00:58:16.700 Nielsen

00:58:17.120 how do

00:58:17.840 you respond

00:58:18.320 to gossip

00:58:18.980 or backbiting

00:58:19.920 some guys

00:58:20.580 I know

00:58:20.940 will walk

00:58:21.560 out of a

00:58:22.060 conversation

00:58:22.560 when it

00:58:22.980 when it

00:58:23.780 heads

00:58:24.020 that

00:58:24.280 direction

00:58:24.700 I think

00:58:25.140 there's a

00:58:25.460 lot of

00:58:25.720 power

00:58:26.020 in that

00:58:26.420 I've

00:58:26.720 also

00:58:27.040 seen

00:58:27.900 some

00:58:28.180 ask

00:58:28.480 questions

00:58:28.940 to try

00:58:29.320 to

00:58:29.460 encourage

00:58:29.900 understanding

00:58:30.600 and

00:58:30.820 empathy

00:58:31.200 great

00:58:32.160 example

00:58:32.580 maybe

00:58:33.320 it's

00:58:33.520 better

00:58:33.720 to

00:58:33.920 just

00:58:34.180 call

00:58:34.440 it

00:58:34.580 out

00:58:34.780 appreciate

00:58:35.220 your

00:58:35.480 thoughts

00:58:35.800 on

00:58:35.960 this

00:58:36.240 I

00:58:38.080 saw

00:58:38.600 this

00:58:38.800 question

00:58:39.120 ahead

00:58:39.340 of

00:58:39.460 time

00:58:39.700 and

00:58:39.840 my

00:58:40.020 first

00:58:40.280 reaction

00:58:40.660 is

00:58:40.820 like

00:58:40.980 just

00:58:41.240 walk

00:58:41.500 away

00:58:41.660 don't

00:58:41.840 be

00:58:41.980 involved

00:58:42.340 in

00:58:42.500 it

00:58:42.660 but

00:58:42.900 then

00:58:43.040 I

00:58:43.160 actually

00:58:43.480 had

00:58:43.780 a

00:58:43.880 little

00:58:44.000 bit

00:58:44.140 of

00:58:44.240 gray

00:58:44.500 thinking

00:58:44.980 in

00:58:45.220 there

00:58:45.440 and

00:58:45.580 I

00:58:45.700 thought

00:58:45.920 at

00:58:46.480 times

00:58:47.000 there's

00:58:55.140 some

00:58:55.300 instances

00:58:55.820 it

00:58:56.400 is

00:58:56.540 a

00:58:56.700 way

00:58:56.880 for

00:58:57.060 people

00:58:57.340 to

00:58:57.560 connect

00:58:58.000 and

00:59:00.040 I

00:59:00.860 don't

00:59:01.420 know

00:59:01.560 that

00:59:01.720 thought

00:59:02.040 would

00:59:02.340 have

00:59:02.460 crossed

00:59:02.680 my

00:59:02.880 mind

00:59:03.100 maybe

00:59:03.300 a

00:59:03.440 couple

00:59:03.640 years

00:59:03.920 ago

00:59:04.200 but

00:59:04.440 I've

00:59:04.840 had

00:59:05.120 situations

00:59:05.800 where

00:59:06.340 you

00:59:06.520 are

00:59:07.100 sharing

00:59:07.960 information

00:59:08.600 about

00:59:08.940 somebody

00:59:09.400 but

00:59:09.640 you're

00:59:09.880 connecting

00:59:10.380 over

00:59:10.780 that

00:59:11.100 and

00:59:11.420 you're

00:59:12.080 having

00:59:12.240 a

00:59:12.440 shared

00:59:12.640 experience

00:59:13.260 over

00:59:13.560 that

00:59:13.800 I

00:59:13.960 know

00:59:14.180 that

00:59:14.320 might

00:59:14.620 sound

00:59:14.920 silly

00:59:15.260 but

00:59:15.480 it

00:59:15.640 seems

00:59:15.940 like

00:59:16.160 there

00:59:16.320 should

00:59:16.500 be

00:59:16.620 some

00:59:16.820 room

00:59:17.060 for

00:59:17.240 that

00:59:17.500 and

00:59:18.340 I

00:59:18.440 think

00:59:18.820 the

00:59:19.240 best

00:59:21.020 place

00:59:21.420 would

00:59:21.620 be

00:59:21.960 is

00:59:22.300 if

00:59:22.480 it's

00:59:22.680 becoming

00:59:23.080 malicious

00:59:23.680 or

00:59:24.580 hurtful

00:59:25.180 or

00:59:26.100 potentially

00:59:26.680 harmful

00:59:28.580 to

00:59:29.300 another

00:59:29.560 person

00:59:30.040 so

00:59:30.600 for

00:59:30.980 example

00:59:31.400 if

00:59:32.160 me

00:59:33.520 and

00:59:33.640 a

00:59:33.780 friend

00:59:34.160 are

00:59:34.580 talking

00:59:34.980 about

00:59:35.360 the

00:59:35.640 struggles

00:59:36.080 that

00:59:36.520 one

00:59:36.760 of

00:59:36.880 our

00:59:37.020 guys

00:59:37.300 in

00:59:37.420 the

00:59:37.500 iron

00:59:37.680 council

00:59:38.100 is

00:59:38.320 going

00:59:38.580 through

00:59:38.880 and

00:59:39.080 we're

00:59:39.200 just

00:59:39.340 talking

00:59:39.700 about

00:59:40.040 it

00:59:40.280 and

00:59:40.540 we're

00:59:41.360 trying

00:59:41.520 to

00:59:41.640 figure

00:59:41.820 out

00:59:41.980 what's

00:59:42.140 going

00:59:42.280 on

00:59:42.480 with

00:59:42.580 the

00:59:42.680 guy

00:59:42.960 yeah

00:59:43.580 we're

00:59:43.760 talking

00:59:44.140 about

00:59:44.440 somebody

00:59:44.860 else

00:59:45.260 but

00:59:45.520 we're

00:59:45.740 connecting

00:59:46.180 we're

00:59:46.460 learning

00:59:46.720 about

00:59:47.020 how

00:59:47.220 we

00:59:47.400 respond

00:59:47.840 to

00:59:48.060 each

00:59:48.240 other

00:59:48.500 and

00:59:49.240 maybe

00:59:49.460 we're

00:59:49.640 going

00:59:49.720 to

00:59:49.780 come

00:59:49.920 up

00:59:50.060 with

00:59:50.160 some

00:59:50.300 strategies

00:59:50.660 to

00:59:50.880 help

00:59:51.100 so

00:59:51.280 I

00:59:51.360 don't

00:59:51.460 think

00:59:51.580 that's

00:59:51.760 bad

00:59:52.080 but

00:59:53.420 if

00:59:53.920 it's

00:59:54.100 at

00:59:54.260 work

00:59:54.740 and

00:59:55.620 you

00:59:56.720 know

00:59:56.880 you

00:59:57.440 and

00:59:57.560 another

00:59:57.800 guy

00:59:58.180 are

00:59:58.380 sitting

00:59:58.580 there

00:59:58.740 talking

00:59:59.140 about

00:59:59.720 Joe

01:00:01.340 and

01:00:01.840 how

01:00:02.020 Joe's

01:00:02.460 not

01:00:02.640 doing

01:00:02.900 his

01:00:03.120 job

01:00:03.660 and

01:00:03.880 Joe's

01:00:04.240 dropping

01:00:04.740 the

01:00:04.940 ball

01:00:05.440 that's

01:00:06.940 a

01:00:07.220 real

01:00:07.520 risk

01:00:07.880 to

01:00:08.100 Joe

01:00:08.540 he

01:00:09.240 doesn't

01:00:09.480 have

01:00:09.660 a

01:00:09.780 chance

01:00:10.000 to

01:00:10.140 defend

01:00:10.460 himself

01:00:10.920 he's

01:00:11.460 going

01:00:11.560 to

01:00:17.020 and

01:00:17.820 in

01:00:17.920 that

01:00:18.140 case

01:00:18.500 if

01:00:18.700 it

01:00:18.820 could

01:00:18.960 become

01:00:19.420 harmful

01:00:20.780 to

01:00:21.040 somebody

01:00:21.360 I

01:00:21.680 would

01:00:21.860 say

01:00:22.280 hey

01:00:22.840 Kip

01:00:23.080 you

01:00:23.220 know

01:00:23.340 what

01:00:23.600 like

01:00:23.960 I

01:00:24.940 know

01:00:25.100 how

01:00:25.220 you

01:00:25.360 feel

01:00:25.560 about

01:00:25.840 Joe

01:00:26.140 a lot

01:00:26.740 of

01:00:26.860 us

01:00:27.000 feel

01:00:27.340 similarly

01:00:28.000 I

01:00:29.040 don't

01:00:29.180 think

01:00:29.420 it's

01:00:29.580 right

01:00:29.900 to

01:00:30.520 discuss

01:00:31.060 that

01:00:31.480 about

01:00:31.800 him

01:00:32.160 if

01:00:32.600 he's

01:00:32.820 not

01:00:33.020 here

01:00:33.340 to

01:00:33.740 defend

01:00:34.040 himself

01:00:34.460 because

01:00:34.840 it

01:00:35.600 puts

01:00:35.860 him

01:00:36.160 in

01:00:36.660 a

01:00:37.840 jeopardizing

01:00:38.380 situation

01:00:38.980 and I

01:00:39.460 don't

01:00:39.620 really

01:00:39.820 know

01:00:40.020 all

01:00:40.160 the

01:00:40.280 details

01:00:40.660 so

01:00:41.000 I

01:00:41.860 don't

01:00:41.960 really

01:00:42.100 want

01:00:42.220 to

01:00:42.300 talk

01:00:47.020 that

01:00:47.140 conversation

01:00:47.640 I'm

01:00:47.780 just

01:00:47.860 not

01:00:48.000 going

01:00:48.100 to

01:00:48.120 be

01:00:48.220 engaged

01:00:48.840 or

01:00:49.420 you

01:00:49.580 might

01:00:49.760 say

01:00:49.960 hey

01:00:50.140 you

01:00:50.260 know

01:00:50.340 what

01:00:50.520 yeah

01:00:50.800 yeah

01:00:52.040 you're

01:00:52.280 right

01:00:52.480 good

01:00:52.680 point

01:00:53.040 so

01:00:54.120 that's

01:00:54.600 kind

01:00:54.880 of

01:00:55.000 how

01:00:55.120 I

01:00:55.240 look

01:00:55.440 at

01:00:55.620 it

01:00:55.680 it's

01:00:55.780 like

01:00:55.900 what

01:00:56.140 is

01:00:56.300 the

01:00:56.460 outcome

01:00:56.860 of

01:00:57.100 this

01:00:57.480 totally

01:00:58.100 when

01:00:58.620 I

01:00:58.760 think

01:00:58.900 this

01:00:59.120 is

01:00:59.360 this

01:00:59.640 falls

01:00:59.920 in

01:01:00.140 line

01:01:00.400 with

01:01:00.580 that

01:01:00.720 area

01:01:01.000 of

01:01:01.200 knowing

01:01:01.540 people

01:01:02.160 and

01:01:02.880 their

01:01:03.040 intent

01:01:03.440 right

01:01:04.500 if

01:01:05.440 you

01:01:05.600 came

01:01:05.820 to

01:01:05.940 me

01:01:06.100 and

01:01:06.240 you're

01:01:06.380 kind

01:01:06.600 of

01:01:06.720 upset

01:01:07.140 with

01:01:07.380 someone

01:01:07.720 I

01:01:08.140 know

01:01:08.560 that

01:01:09.220 Ryan's

01:01:09.640 not

01:01:09.820 one

01:01:10.000 to

01:01:10.080 be

01:01:10.180 a

01:01:10.320 victim

01:01:10.600 and

01:01:10.880 throw

01:01:11.300 people

01:01:11.560 under

01:01:11.720 the

01:01:11.820 bus

01:01:11.960 so

01:01:12.160 maybe

01:01:12.620 you're

01:01:12.840 just

01:01:13.040 venting

01:01:13.460 a little

01:01:13.700 bit

01:01:13.940 that's

01:01:15.100 a little

01:01:15.300 bit

01:01:15.520 different

01:01:15.840 right

01:01:16.140 but if

01:01:16.640 you're

01:01:16.800 a toxic

01:01:17.220 person

01:01:17.620 you're

01:01:17.900 just

01:01:18.100 looking

01:01:18.340 to

01:01:18.500 backbite

01:01:18.980 and

01:01:19.160 throw

01:01:19.420 people

01:01:19.680 under

01:01:19.860 the

01:01:19.980 bus

01:01:20.180 constantly

01:01:20.620 create

01:01:21.000 drama

01:01:21.420 now

01:01:23.340 that

01:01:23.560 changes

01:01:23.920 everything

01:01:24.440 right

01:01:24.720 I'm

01:01:25.040 probably

01:01:25.420 not

01:01:25.620 going

01:01:25.760 to

01:01:25.800 engage

01:01:26.200 with

01:01:26.380 you

01:01:26.480 as

01:01:26.660 much

01:01:26.960 and

01:01:27.740 I

01:01:27.880 actually

01:01:28.160 like

01:01:28.440 the

01:01:28.580 advice

01:01:28.860 that

01:01:29.020 you

01:01:29.120 got

01:01:29.340 Philip

01:01:29.640 around

01:01:30.060 asking

01:01:30.560 the

01:01:30.740 questions

01:01:31.120 because

01:01:31.360 most

01:01:31.840 people

01:01:32.400 when

01:01:33.120 you

01:01:33.260 challenge

01:01:33.700 the

01:01:33.880 thought

01:01:34.220 process

01:01:34.820 they

01:01:35.640 eventually

01:01:36.080 learn

01:01:36.540 that

01:01:36.780 oh

01:01:37.100 got it

01:01:37.980 I

01:01:38.080 don't

01:01:38.240 get a

01:01:38.540 collude

01:01:38.860 with

01:01:39.080 Philip

01:01:39.440 right

01:01:40.360 because

01:01:40.660 why

01:01:41.060 he

01:01:41.600 keeps

01:01:41.820 asking

01:01:42.280 me

01:01:42.480 stupid

01:01:42.840 questions

01:01:43.380 and I

01:01:43.660 don't

01:01:43.780 want

01:01:43.900 to

01:01:44.000 answer

01:01:44.240 those

01:01:44.480 questions

01:01:44.840 I

01:01:45.060 just

01:01:45.280 want

01:01:45.440 to

01:01:45.540 talk

01:01:45.740 bad

01:01:46.000 about

01:01:46.220 someone

01:01:46.600 and

01:01:47.060 have

01:01:47.340 him

01:01:47.520 nod

01:01:47.720 his

01:01:47.900 head

01:01:48.200 so

01:01:48.920 then

01:01:49.180 they

01:01:49.360 eventually

01:01:49.780 learn

01:01:50.120 that

01:01:50.280 you're

01:01:50.420 not

01:01:50.560 the

01:01:50.700 guy

01:01:50.880 for

01:01:51.080 that

01:01:51.300 and

01:01:52.520 so

01:01:52.880 that's

01:01:53.200 good

01:01:53.420 advice

01:01:53.940 and

01:01:54.280 it

01:01:54.420 challenges

01:01:55.360 people

01:01:55.920 in

01:01:56.660 their

01:01:56.840 thought

01:01:57.060 process

01:01:57.460 but

01:01:57.640 I

01:01:57.740 think

01:01:57.900 it

01:01:58.060 it's

01:01:58.680 more

01:01:58.900 around

01:01:59.340 the

01:01:59.700 intent

01:02:00.060 of

01:02:00.240 the

01:02:00.400 person

01:02:00.860 because

01:02:02.120 I've

01:02:03.320 gossip

01:02:03.640 about

01:02:04.000 people

01:02:04.320 but

01:02:04.480 guess

01:02:04.680 who

01:02:04.800 I

01:02:04.900 typically

01:02:05.280 gossip

01:02:05.660 with

01:02:06.520 my

01:02:07.140 wife

01:02:07.580 why

01:02:08.660 because

01:02:09.000 she's

01:02:09.460 my

01:02:09.640 person

01:02:09.940 I

01:02:10.160 get

01:02:10.760 to

01:02:10.900 be

01:02:11.140 a

01:02:11.560 little

01:02:11.880 bitch

01:02:13.060 about

01:02:13.380 right

01:02:13.660 like

01:02:13.920 this

01:02:14.560 pisses

01:02:14.920 me

01:02:15.060 off

01:02:15.240 right

01:02:15.660 and

01:02:15.860 she

01:02:16.040 knows

01:02:16.380 me

01:02:16.640 and

01:02:16.780 she

01:02:16.900 understands

01:02:17.300 that

01:02:17.460 I'm

01:02:17.580 just

01:02:17.740 kind

01:02:17.940 of

01:02:18.040 venting

01:02:18.580 right

01:02:19.200 there's

01:02:20.160 no

01:02:20.320 malicious

01:02:20.720 intent

01:02:21.320 or

01:02:21.500 whatever

01:02:21.720 I'm

01:02:21.920 just

01:02:22.140 want

01:02:22.680 to

01:02:22.760 be

01:02:22.900 heard

01:02:23.120 about

01:02:23.340 something

01:02:23.740 and

01:02:24.280 so

01:02:24.420 I

01:02:24.560 can

01:02:24.700 do

01:02:24.860 that

01:02:25.020 with

01:02:25.180 her

01:02:25.380 but

01:02:25.640 I

01:02:25.940 may

01:02:26.140 not

01:02:26.480 have

01:02:27.080 that

01:02:27.240 same

01:02:27.440 conversation

01:02:27.880 with

01:02:28.100 anybody

01:02:28.580 else

01:02:29.120 but

01:02:29.440 her

01:02:29.720 because

01:02:30.480 she's

01:02:30.840 she's

01:02:31.280 that

01:02:31.420 individual

01:02:31.800 that

01:02:32.040 I

01:02:32.140 can

01:02:32.260 have

01:02:32.400 that

01:02:32.540 conversation

01:02:32.980 with

01:02:33.320 yeah

01:02:35.360 I mean

01:02:35.640 that's

01:02:35.940 that's

01:02:36.260 all

01:02:36.420 really

01:02:36.720 good

01:02:36.900 points

01:02:37.220 there's

01:02:37.680 a

01:02:37.780 great

01:02:37.980 podcast

01:02:38.460 I

01:02:38.640 did

01:02:38.820 with

01:02:39.300 Jefferson

01:02:40.060 Fisher

01:02:40.460 on

01:02:40.740 October

01:02:41.060 9th

01:02:41.460 29th

01:02:42.700 of

01:02:42.820 2024

01:02:43.380 so

01:02:43.780 last

01:02:44.000 year

01:02:44.180 it's

01:02:44.320 called

01:02:44.500 how

01:02:44.720 to

01:02:44.860 communicate

01:02:45.240 like

01:02:45.560 a

01:02:45.680 man

01:02:45.960 and

01:02:46.880 Jefferson

01:02:47.340 has

01:02:47.720 some

01:02:47.980 really

01:02:48.560 really

01:02:48.900 good

01:02:49.680 he's

01:02:50.680 an

01:02:50.780 attorney

01:02:51.200 he has

01:02:52.060 some

01:02:52.260 really

01:02:52.540 good

01:02:53.020 phrases

01:02:53.800 to

01:02:54.140 say

01:02:54.600 that

01:02:55.800 stop

01:02:56.320 people

01:02:56.640 in

01:02:56.800 their

01:02:56.960 tracks

01:02:57.380 but

01:02:57.660 without

01:02:57.900 being

01:02:58.220 rude

01:02:58.560 so

01:02:59.260 for

01:02:59.440 example

01:02:59.840 if

01:03:00.440 somebody

01:03:00.920 says

01:03:01.520 something

01:03:01.860 rude

01:03:02.180 to

01:03:02.340 you

01:03:02.700 Jefferson

01:03:03.560 might

01:03:04.000 say

01:03:04.500 did

01:03:05.780 you

01:03:05.940 mean

01:03:06.240 to

01:03:06.400 say

01:03:06.580 that

01:03:06.760 out

01:03:06.940 loud

01:03:07.180 or

01:03:09.620 did

01:03:10.560 you

01:03:10.720 mean

01:03:11.060 did

01:03:11.340 you

01:03:11.520 intend

01:03:11.960 to

01:03:12.220 hurt

01:03:12.400 me

01:03:12.680 with

01:03:13.620 that

01:03:13.900 when

01:03:14.640 you

01:03:14.760 said

01:03:14.940 that

01:03:15.240 yeah

01:03:16.060 there

01:03:16.380 are

01:03:16.480 little

01:03:16.660 things

01:03:17.060 that

01:03:17.240 like

01:03:17.540 stop

01:03:18.180 somebody

01:03:18.560 in

01:03:18.720 their

01:03:18.840 tracks

01:03:19.460 that

01:03:20.320 are

01:03:20.400 like

01:03:20.660 oh

01:03:21.000 that

01:03:21.280 wasn't

01:03:21.580 acceptable

01:03:22.060 and

01:03:23.160 he

01:03:23.280 says

01:03:23.460 99%

01:03:24.620 of the

01:03:24.820 time

01:03:25.060 people

01:03:25.320 start

01:03:25.580 backpedaling

01:03:26.180 and

01:03:26.360 realizing

01:03:26.800 that

01:03:27.120 there

01:03:27.280 was

01:03:27.400 a

01:03:27.540 boundary

01:03:27.860 they

01:03:28.060 just

01:03:28.300 about

01:03:28.560 crossed

01:03:29.000 but

01:03:29.500 you

01:03:29.660 asserted

01:03:30.120 it

01:03:30.220 in

01:03:30.340 a

01:03:30.440 very

01:03:30.720 simple

01:03:31.520 effective

01:03:32.080 way

01:03:32.420 he's

01:03:32.900 got

01:03:33.040 some

01:03:33.240 really

01:03:33.640 good

01:03:33.840 stuff

01:03:34.100 Jefferson

01:03:34.440 Fisher

01:03:34.880 Jefferson

01:03:35.940 Fisher

01:03:36.320 I love

01:03:36.920 it

01:03:37.100 and

01:03:37.480 this

01:03:37.620 was

01:03:37.800 September

01:03:38.420 is

01:03:39.220 that

01:03:39.360 what

01:03:39.460 you

01:03:39.540 said

01:03:39.720 October

01:03:40.280 29th

01:03:41.740 I

01:03:41.800 think

01:03:42.000 yeah

01:03:42.540 awesome

01:03:43.460 let's

01:03:44.000 take

01:03:44.120 one

01:03:44.300 more

01:03:44.480 Kip

01:03:44.680 I

01:03:44.820 gotta

01:03:44.960 yep

01:03:45.560 yeah

01:03:46.340 Joe

01:03:46.820 Marino

01:03:47.500 Ryan

01:03:48.060 and

01:03:48.200 Kip

01:03:48.460 reading

01:03:49.020 do you

01:03:49.520 have

01:03:49.640 specific

01:03:50.100 time

01:03:50.420 of

01:03:50.580 day

01:03:50.920 set

01:03:51.260 aside

01:03:51.560 for

01:03:51.740 reading

01:03:52.040 do you

01:03:52.300 prefer

01:03:52.700 a

01:03:53.300 physical

01:03:53.600 book

01:03:53.980 or

01:03:54.560 an

01:03:54.720 audible

01:03:55.020 or

01:03:55.240 app

01:03:55.620 are

01:03:56.160 you

01:03:56.320 able

01:03:56.540 to

01:03:56.720 juggle

01:03:56.980 other

01:03:57.300 books

01:03:57.580 at

01:03:57.700 the

01:03:57.840 same

01:03:58.060 time

01:03:58.440 in

01:03:58.600 addition

01:03:58.960 to

01:03:59.200 the

01:03:59.340 book

01:03:59.500 of

01:03:59.600 the

01:03:59.680 month

01:03:59.880 I

01:04:01.980 prefer

01:04:02.880 a

01:04:03.260 physical

01:04:03.580 book

01:04:04.020 over

01:04:04.640 an

01:04:04.980 app

01:04:05.260 or

01:04:05.440 audible

01:04:05.740 or

01:04:06.160 anything

01:04:06.540 like

01:04:06.820 that

01:04:07.100 or

01:04:07.320 even

01:04:07.500 an

01:04:07.640 audiobook

01:04:08.000 I

01:04:09.000 will

01:04:09.220 listen

01:04:09.480 to

01:04:09.640 an

01:04:09.780 audiobook

01:04:10.160 if

01:04:10.900 I'm

01:04:11.280 prepping

01:04:11.700 for

01:04:11.900 a

01:04:12.060 guest

01:04:12.300 sometimes

01:04:12.840 because

01:04:13.380 I

01:04:13.660 can

01:04:13.800 get

01:04:14.040 through

01:04:14.260 it

01:04:14.400 really

01:04:14.560 quickly

01:04:14.880 I

01:04:15.020 can

01:04:15.120 put

01:04:15.280 it

01:04:15.360 on

01:04:15.460 two

01:04:15.640 times

01:04:15.900 speed

01:04:16.320 and

01:04:17.040 I

01:04:17.140 can

01:04:17.280 get

01:04:17.400 the

01:04:17.560 gist

01:04:17.920 I

01:04:18.320 don't

01:04:18.480 need

01:04:18.840 to

01:04:19.000 read

01:04:19.260 an

01:04:19.380 entire

01:04:19.740 book

01:04:20.080 in

01:04:20.220 order

01:04:20.380 to

01:04:20.520 have

01:04:20.680 a

01:04:20.820 good

01:04:21.040 meaningful

01:04:21.420 conversation

01:04:22.120 with

01:04:22.420 a

01:04:22.560 guest

01:04:22.860 so

01:04:23.360 I

01:04:23.480 will

01:04:23.640 do

01:04:23.800 audible

01:04:24.100 if

01:04:24.280 that's

01:04:24.480 available

01:04:24.840 outside

01:04:25.680 of

01:04:25.840 that

01:04:26.000 I

01:04:26.180 prefer

01:04:26.460 physical

01:04:26.860 books

01:04:27.240 and

01:04:27.440 I

01:04:27.560 usually

01:04:27.800 will

01:04:27.980 read

01:04:28.260 in

01:04:28.420 the

01:04:28.540 evening

01:04:28.760 for

01:04:29.060 about

01:04:29.340 5

01:04:29.700 10

01:04:29.960 15

01:04:30.280 minutes

01:04:30.700 because

01:04:31.420 I've

01:04:31.680 noticed

01:04:31.940 it

01:04:32.120 just

01:04:32.300 helps

01:04:32.560 me

01:04:32.880 not

01:04:34.300 be

01:04:34.460 distracted

01:04:34.880 with

01:04:35.040 my

01:04:35.200 phone

01:04:35.560 which

01:04:35.920 is

01:04:36.060 helpful

01:04:36.320 for

01:04:36.620 our

01:04:36.940 sleep

01:04:37.160 patterns

01:04:37.580 it

01:04:38.280 just

01:04:38.460 helps

01:04:38.720 me

01:04:39.020 relax

01:04:39.920 and

01:04:40.340 get

01:04:40.600 chilled

01:04:41.340 out

01:04:41.580 a little

01:04:41.840 bit

01:04:42.120 for

01:04:42.560 the

01:04:43.200 evening

01:04:43.540 so

01:04:43.960 that's

01:04:44.200 what

01:04:44.280 I

01:04:44.380 personally

01:04:44.660 do

01:04:44.820 I

01:04:45.220 don't

01:04:45.340 usually

01:04:45.580 juggle

01:04:45.940 books

01:04:46.340 either

01:04:46.680 unless

01:04:47.180 there's

01:04:47.740 some

01:04:49.380 again

01:04:50.240 unless

01:04:50.680 I'm

01:04:51.000 studying

01:04:51.380 for

01:04:51.540 a

01:04:51.660 podcast

01:04:51.960 or

01:04:52.660 there's

01:04:52.940 some

01:04:53.180 pertinent

01:04:53.620 information

01:04:54.180 that I

01:04:54.660 remember

01:04:54.960 reading

01:04:55.300 and no

01:04:55.640 more

01:04:55.800 Mr.

01:04:56.180 Nice

01:04:56.360 Guy

01:04:56.560 and

01:04:56.660 you

01:04:56.780 need

01:04:56.800 to

01:04:56.900 go

01:04:57.040 back

01:04:57.400 and

01:04:57.540 recap

01:04:59.340 a

01:04:59.760 passage

01:05:00.700 in that

01:05:01.060 book

01:05:01.280 or something

01:05:01.640 like that

01:05:02.040 yeah

01:05:02.640 that's

01:05:04.180 me

01:05:04.300 got it

01:05:04.820 man

01:05:06.220 I'm

01:05:06.700 all over

01:05:07.020 the place

01:05:07.580 I'll

01:05:08.280 typically

01:05:08.600 go

01:05:08.860 audible

01:05:09.200 first

01:05:09.780 usually

01:05:11.540 what happens

01:05:12.340 is if

01:05:12.800 it's a

01:05:13.060 really

01:05:13.240 good

01:05:13.460 book

01:05:13.780 and I'm

01:05:14.060 halfway

01:05:14.360 through

01:05:14.600 the

01:05:14.740 book

01:05:15.000 I'll

01:05:15.300 go

01:05:15.440 order

01:05:15.720 a

01:05:15.860 physical

01:05:16.100 copy

01:05:16.580 that I'll

01:05:18.720 switch

01:05:19.040 to

01:05:19.300 physical

01:05:19.740 or

01:05:21.060 I'll

01:05:21.860 wait

01:05:22.540 and then

01:05:22.940 I'll

01:05:23.160 do

01:05:23.300 the

01:05:23.440 physical

01:05:23.720 version

01:05:24.060 after

01:05:24.460 I

01:05:24.620 listen

01:05:24.980 through

01:05:25.400 two

01:05:25.800 times

01:05:26.100 speed

01:05:26.440 on

01:05:26.660 the

01:05:26.780 audible

01:05:27.120 that's

01:05:29.120 juggling

01:05:30.280 typically

01:05:31.420 two books

01:05:32.100 like I'll

01:05:32.860 do the

01:05:33.100 iron

01:05:33.280 council

01:05:33.640 book

01:05:33.900 of the

01:05:34.120 month

01:05:34.340 and

01:05:34.480 there's

01:05:34.940 usually

01:05:35.260 another

01:05:35.580 book

01:05:36.060 that I'm

01:05:36.720 reading

01:05:36.940 at the

01:05:37.260 same

01:05:37.440 time

01:05:37.840 which

01:05:38.300 I

01:05:38.540 I'd

01:05:39.140 prefer

01:05:39.360 not

01:05:39.700 to

01:05:39.880 do

01:05:40.020 that

01:05:40.280 but

01:05:40.620 no

01:05:41.680 I

01:05:42.480 with

01:05:43.340 the

01:05:43.480 iron

01:05:43.640 council

01:05:43.960 we have

01:05:44.500 books

01:05:44.920 so

01:05:45.180 it's

01:05:45.360 like

01:05:45.600 that

01:05:45.860 it's

01:05:46.500 a good

01:05:46.740 book

01:05:46.980 we always

01:05:47.280 choose

01:05:47.520 good

01:05:47.760 books

01:05:48.180 but

01:05:48.620 it may

01:05:49.500 not

01:05:49.680 be

01:05:49.820 the

01:05:50.000 first

01:05:50.240 on

01:05:50.440 your

01:05:50.580 list

01:05:51.000 so

01:05:51.320 I

01:05:51.560 get

01:05:51.720 that

01:05:52.020 I

01:05:52.560 will

01:05:52.740 give

01:05:52.940 one

01:05:53.140 other

01:05:53.320 tip

01:05:53.680 about

01:05:54.120 book

01:05:54.400 reading

01:05:54.660 that

01:05:54.880 has

01:05:55.340 worked

01:05:55.580 well

01:05:55.800 for

01:05:55.980 me

01:05:56.220 I

01:05:56.560 always

01:05:57.020 read

01:05:57.600 with

01:05:57.820 a

01:05:57.960 highlighter

01:05:58.260 in

01:05:58.440 my

01:05:58.580 hand

01:05:58.920 so

01:06:00.160 when

01:06:00.560 I'm

01:06:00.780 reading

01:06:00.980 a book

01:06:01.400 what I'll

01:06:01.760 do

01:06:01.960 is

01:06:02.120 if

01:06:02.240 there's

01:06:02.420 a

01:06:02.560 sentence

01:06:02.860 or

01:06:03.160 a

01:06:03.300 paragraph

01:06:03.640 or

01:06:04.120 even

01:06:04.260 a

01:06:04.420 page

01:06:04.760 that

01:06:04.920 I

01:06:05.020 really

01:06:05.200 like

01:06:05.540 is

01:06:06.200 I'll

01:06:06.420 highlight

01:06:06.920 that paragraph

01:06:07.720 for example

01:06:08.400 and then

01:06:08.820 I

01:06:08.940 dog

01:06:09.280 ear

01:06:09.580 that

01:06:09.840 page

01:06:10.260 and

01:06:10.500 I

01:06:10.640 keep

01:06:10.860 reading

01:06:11.200 and

01:06:13.100 I'll

01:06:13.240 just

01:06:13.400 do

01:06:13.540 that

01:06:13.800 and

01:06:14.000 so

01:06:14.260 if

01:06:14.500 I'm

01:06:14.680 reading

01:06:14.940 20

01:06:15.340 pages

01:06:15.780 I

01:06:16.180 might

01:06:16.380 have

01:06:16.900 two

01:06:17.300 or

01:06:17.500 three

01:06:17.740 dog

01:06:18.080 ears

01:06:18.440 page

01:06:19.480 dog

01:06:20.280 eared

01:06:20.420 pages

01:06:20.860 and

01:06:21.680 then

01:06:21.840 after

01:06:22.380 I

01:06:22.660 get

01:06:22.900 through

01:06:23.080 the

01:06:23.240 entire

01:06:23.600 book

01:06:24.020 I

01:06:24.260 go

01:06:24.460 back

01:06:25.080 and

01:06:25.340 I

01:06:25.500 read

01:06:26.060 just

01:06:26.960 the

01:06:27.200 sections

01:06:27.640 that

01:06:27.900 I

01:06:28.040 highlighted

01:06:28.540 for

01:06:29.420 retention

01:06:29.940 and

01:06:30.700 for

01:06:31.380 like

01:06:32.100 no

01:06:32.340 tactics

01:06:32.880 got

01:06:33.900 it

01:06:34.040 well

01:06:34.200 if

01:06:34.340 I

01:06:34.500 if

01:06:34.760 there's

01:06:35.100 something

01:06:35.340 I

01:06:35.520 read

01:06:35.880 that

01:06:36.060 I'm

01:06:36.160 like

01:06:36.300 I

01:06:36.500 really

01:06:36.700 need

01:06:36.840 to

01:06:36.940 put

01:06:37.080 that

01:06:37.240 into

01:06:37.380 practice

01:06:37.960 I

01:06:38.440 don't

01:06:38.540 need

01:06:38.660 to

01:06:38.760 do

01:06:38.860 it

01:06:38.940 now

01:06:39.080 I

01:06:39.200 get

01:06:39.300 through

01:06:39.440 the

01:06:39.580 entire

01:06:39.920 book

01:06:40.260 because

01:06:40.400 it

01:06:40.520 gives

01:06:40.680 me

01:06:40.780 some

01:06:40.980 reference

01:06:41.380 and

01:06:41.720 then

01:07:11.700 I'll go back and say okay I need to implement this into my battle plan or and that's one way that I've because a lot of books here's a little secret is that 10% of the book is good mine included and 90% is fluff yeah and every author every author knows that every publisher knows that every author knows that every author knows that it just is what it is and so I can pull the 10% out the rest is enjoyable or entertaining.

01:07:11.720 And I pull the 10% of the book.

01:07:12.720 And I pull the 10% out.

01:07:13.720 And I pull the 10% out and that's what I actually act on.

01:07:14.960 I don't act on a book.

01:07:16.200 I act on passages of the book I'm reading.

01:07:19.240 Yeah.

01:07:19.800 Yeah.

01:07:20.160 I've always loved that advice that you've given and I've implemented that actually.

01:07:23.600 It's been great.

01:07:25.120 Yeah.

01:07:25.360 All right.

01:07:25.940 That's a wrap, sir.

01:07:27.220 So key things.

01:07:28.500 I mean,

01:07:28.960 Iron Council is closed.

01:07:30.880 So I think a good call out,

01:07:32.540 a good call out for you guys that weren't able to join us is to join Battle Ready.

01:07:38.620 You can go to orderofman.com slash Battle Ready.

01:07:42.100 That puts you on a program where you can kind of self-paced approach over the next 90 days in preparation of joining us in the Iron Council for Q2.

01:07:53.320 So once again,

01:07:54.200 that's orderofman.com slash Battle Ready.

01:07:56.160 And of course,

01:07:57.060 you can connect with Mr.

01:07:58.840 Mickler on the socials,

01:08:00.200 X and Instagram,

01:08:01.540 at Ryan Mickler.

01:08:03.560 Anything else,

01:08:04.620 sir?

01:08:05.940 That is everything.

01:08:06.680 The Men's Forge?

01:08:06.980 The Men's Forge we have in May.

01:08:10.480 If you go to themensforge.com,

01:08:12.500 it's an incredible event that we're putting together in May with Connor Beaton,

01:08:17.080 Matt Boudreau,

01:08:18.700 Larry Hagner,

01:08:19.480 and Matt Vincent as well has teamed up with us and it's going to be unreal.

01:08:24.500 I did have a couple of questions over the weekend about like,

01:08:27.300 where's the location so I can get lodging?

01:08:29.620 Lodging is included in the ticket price.

01:08:31.580 That's one of the things that makes this very unique is that it's similar pricing to other conferences,

01:08:38.040 but you don't need to go buy lodging or food.

01:08:40.760 All the food,

01:08:41.800 all the lodging is included in the event itself.

01:08:45.040 So you get yourself there.

01:08:46.840 We will take care of the rest for the weekend.

01:08:48.700 It's going to be incredible.

01:08:49.980 I hope you will be there.

01:08:51.780 themensforge.com.

01:08:53.200 Perfect.

01:08:54.440 Awesome.

01:08:55.140 Well,

01:08:55.240 thank you,

01:08:55.540 Kip.

01:08:55.720 Guys,

01:08:56.020 great questions today.

01:08:56.900 As always,

01:08:57.480 hopefully we gave you some things to consider.

01:08:58.940 Oh,

01:08:59.120 I was going to say this as well.

01:09:01.940 We had our winner of our transformation challenge and I've been telling you guys,

01:09:05.120 he wins $10,000.

01:09:06.920 We went through and did the accounting on it.

01:09:09.520 He actually wins $12,500.

01:09:12.940 Brad Peterson did a tremendous job.

01:09:15.680 And you know what he said?

01:09:16.860 This is what he said.

01:09:17.760 I don't know if I'm going to share it anyways.

01:09:20.220 He,

01:09:20.800 I said,

01:09:21.300 what are you going to do with,

01:09:22.440 with the money?

01:09:23.600 And he said,

01:09:24.340 well,

01:09:24.620 there's a church that I belong to.

01:09:26.140 So I'm going to do some tithing on it.

01:09:28.260 And he's like,

01:09:29.120 I wanted to reimburse you and a couple of guys that the other,

01:09:33.560 there was three people that I spotlighted for a second and third.

01:09:37.260 He wants to reimburse the money for second and third place.

01:09:41.200 And he says,

01:09:41.920 and I'll give you your money back too.

01:09:43.080 I'm like,

01:09:43.300 no,

01:09:43.500 you,

01:09:43.800 you keep that.

01:09:44.860 If you want to donate it,

01:09:45.800 you can give it to your church.

01:09:46.780 Like that was the deal.

01:09:48.320 Yeah.

01:09:48.660 And then he,

01:09:50.060 I think he said he was going to help a few family members with something and

01:09:53.660 put a little upgrades into a vehicle.

01:09:55.420 And then I think the rest he's hammering down some debt with.

01:09:58.140 So that was pretty cool to hear it.

01:10:00.160 Like he's doing the right thing with it.

01:10:01.420 I love to hear that.

01:10:02.680 He's making big moves.

01:10:04.320 Yeah.

01:10:04.880 Congratulations to him.

01:10:05.860 That's so cool.

01:10:07.280 Yeah.

01:10:08.580 Well,

01:10:08.980 we appreciate you guys.

01:10:10.080 Uh,

01:10:10.360 we'll be back on Friday until then go out there,

01:10:12.720 take action and become the man you are meant to be.

01:10:19.300 Thank you for listening to the order of man podcast.

01:10:22.180 You're ready to take charge of your life and be more of the man you were meant

01:10:25.580 to be.

01:10:25.980 We invite you to join the order at order of man.com.

01:10:35.860 Bye.

01:10:36.960 Bye.

01:10:37.280 Bye.

01:10:38.040 Bye.

01:10:38.440 Bye.

01:10:38.860 Bye.

01:10:41.080 Bye.

01:10:50.700 Bye.

01:10:52.660 Bye.

01:10:53.420 Bye.

01:10:53.760 Bye.

01:10:54.100 Bye.

01:10:54.660 Bye.

01:10:54.960 Bye.

01:10:55.760 Bye.

Order of Man - January 08, 2025

Internal Locus of Control, Victimhood Destroys You, and The Pitfalls of Sovereignty ｜ ASK ME ANYTHING

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