Order of Man - April 04, 2018


ITT 005： The Mental Fight Club｜ Reece Carter


Episode Stats

Length

20 minutes

Words per Minute

191.40729

Word Count

3,870

Sentence Count

255

Misogynist Sentences

2

Hate Speech Sentences

1


Summary

Reese Carter is a member of the International Brotherhood of Colleagues (IC) and has been a part of the IC for over 2 years. In this episode, he shares his story of how he got into the IC and how it has drastically changed his life for the better.


Transcript

00:00:00.060 Gentlemen, welcome to In the Trenches, an Order of Man podcast dedicated to interviewing
00:00:04.380 ordinary, everyday men like you and me who are currently in the battle of becoming better
00:00:08.880 men.
00:00:09.480 You'll hear the good, the bad, and the ugly from guys who are striving to become stronger
00:00:13.700 husbands, fathers, business owners, and community leaders.
00:00:17.600 It's our mission to deliver the stories that will inspire you to become the man you are
00:00:21.660 meant to be.
00:00:22.340 Your host for this podcast is a man who is not only in the trenches, but has drastically
00:00:26.940 changed his life for the better over the past two years.
00:00:29.280 Here's Mr. Bubba Downs.
00:00:32.900 All right, gentlemen, Bubba here.
00:00:34.860 This week, I am speaking with Reese Carter.
00:00:37.120 What's going on, brother?
00:00:38.540 Oh, man, so glad to be here and honored, actually.
00:00:41.760 Absolutely, man.
00:00:42.480 Glad to have you.
00:00:43.980 So talk to me, man.
00:00:45.580 What are you working on right now?
00:00:47.440 Man, this is an interesting part of my journey.
00:00:49.760 Actually, I've been part of the IC now for over two years, and it's been an amazing, amazing
00:00:59.140 journey.
00:01:00.200 I remember the start of the journey when I was sitting down with my best friend, and
00:01:08.400 I was just telling him where I was at.
00:01:11.300 I was in a funk.
00:01:12.760 It was like a lot of guys' stories, 50 pounds overweight, and just fed up with myself and
00:01:18.280 everything.
00:01:18.560 And I told him, I said, I feel like I need to go look for a fight club.
00:01:22.380 I'm going to go Google underground fight club and go find a place where I can just get my
00:01:26.680 ass kicked so I can feel like I'm alive.
00:01:29.340 And he said, well, cool, man.
00:01:32.500 Let me know how that goes.
00:01:33.420 I want to hear the backstory out of it.
00:01:35.060 So with him pushing me out the door, going, go find that place, go find that dark place
00:01:40.180 and go seek yourself out, I did.
00:01:43.120 And I knew it wasn't necessarily a fight club, but I was prepared for it.
00:01:48.100 But really, what I was looking for is just being confronted with my own issues and being
00:01:54.800 around other guys that are confronting them just the same.
00:01:56.820 And I heard a podcast that Ryan was on.
00:02:02.620 He was on with Andy Priscilla.
00:02:05.520 And I love Andy.
00:02:07.800 And for Andy to get along with a guy, and I was like, well, I got to go check this Ryan
00:02:12.780 guy out.
00:02:13.840 And I just got sucked in, started drinking the Kool-Aid from there on.
00:02:17.280 So I think at the time, I was probably about number 15, number 16, to join the IC and been
00:02:25.220 sticking it out and just keep showing it up, listen to the podcast, listen to our weekly
00:02:30.480 call and just started doing the work.
00:02:33.980 I started working out in my basement or not in my basement, but my garage rather.
00:02:37.600 And I just have my own fight club in the morning and confronting myself, you know, because I
00:02:41.780 can beat myself up.
00:02:42.800 I wasn't going to get, you know, and get my, if I can kick my own ass, I wouldn't
00:02:45.560 give anybody else a chance the rest of the day.
00:02:47.360 That was my attitude towards it.
00:02:48.800 Awesome.
00:02:49.220 So something that you just said really kind of struck with me, man, you got out there looking
00:02:54.180 for a fight club and instead of finding like a physical basement fight club where dudes
00:02:58.440 are pounding the crap out of each other in the face, you found a mental fight club.
00:03:02.780 I had to go fight myself.
00:03:03.800 I have to find myself in the garage every day.
00:03:05.720 It's a, it's a rage den, man.
00:03:07.360 It really is.
00:03:08.400 And, uh, and, uh, you know, to be honest with it, I've gotten away from that.
00:03:11.420 Um, now I, I just don't do it in the morning.
00:03:13.660 I've been trying to do it in the afternoons and to be honest with you and everybody else
00:03:17.060 out there, that's what I'm finding that to have been a mistake.
00:03:19.980 Uh, not doing it first thing in the morning has actually been a, it's, uh, I feel like
00:03:25.100 I'm not on my game now.
00:03:26.420 You know, I'm just being honest and candid.
00:03:28.440 Uh, things aren't clicking like they were in the early days.
00:03:31.260 Uh, and I, and I'm, you know, that's, that's the thing about the IC is you go down these
00:03:35.320 journeys, you're journaling things, and then you can go out, have after action reviews.
00:03:39.080 And then you go back and look at it and go, where am I now?
00:03:42.260 Or I could be right on, on my game, but right now I'm not on my game and I'm looking at it
00:03:46.560 going, where's, where did I miss it?
00:03:48.020 Where did I miss it at?
00:03:48.960 And I think it started last summer when I, I got into CrossFit, which I love, uh, because
00:03:54.180 it's a battle in itself, but it's not that fight club in the morning.
00:03:59.040 And that's where I'm missing my, I'm missing my rage moment in the morning.
00:04:02.420 So, uh, yeah, I don't know if I went down the journey that you wanted to talk about,
00:04:05.720 but to ask where I'm at now from where I started with, and that's that missing components.
00:04:10.160 Like I'm not fighting myself in the morning and beating myself up first.
00:04:14.420 I like that.
00:04:15.240 So something that I've talked about a couple of times here already is that one of the,
00:04:19.800 one of the biggest conversations that you'll ever have, whatever you start this journey,
00:04:24.100 you know, whether you're in the iron council or whether you're part of Andy's deal or Sean
00:04:29.080 Whalen's deal or whatever, one of the, one of the most impactful conversations that you
00:04:34.040 will ever have is standing there looking in the mirror.
00:04:37.660 That's it.
00:04:38.760 That's, and that's a hard thing.
00:04:40.040 And then when you're standing there in the mirror, naked, take a picture of yourself.
00:04:43.040 No, no, I've done that too.
00:04:47.560 Just so I could see where I'm at.
00:04:48.900 And so I can have something to remind me.
00:04:50.240 It sounds, it sounds crazy, but it's, it's, it's a confrontational deal.
00:04:53.960 Absolutely.
00:04:54.540 No, I get what you're saying, man.
00:04:55.880 That way you can see where you were versus where you are.
00:04:58.360 You can see where you were.
00:04:59.720 And then it's, it's a conversation piece later on down the road when you're willing to show
00:05:03.600 that to other people, crop your junk out first, but before you show that to your buddy.
00:05:07.700 But I'm serious.
00:05:08.640 That's one of those things.
00:05:09.480 It's like, wait, what am I afraid of doing?
00:05:11.240 What am I afraid of showing somebody?
00:05:13.220 And, uh, and that was the thing for me.
00:05:14.280 I've taken pictures of myself a couple of times just to go, this is a milestone.
00:05:17.780 And then when you get down the road or going, are you willing to show, share this with people?
00:05:21.360 And I wasn't, you know, it's been a two year journey of going, stop telling yourself
00:05:26.840 stories, stop lying to yourself and be truthful and be, be confrontational with yourself.
00:05:31.740 Everybody else unapologetic.
00:05:33.600 Yeah.
00:05:33.740 The more you fight for your stories, the more you deserve to keep them.
00:05:36.500 Oh my gosh, dude.
00:05:37.700 Quote that.
00:05:38.320 You can tweet that shit right there.
00:05:39.420 I wish I could take credit, but I can't.
00:05:44.560 You discussed some of the physical milestones you've made.
00:05:46.740 What are some of the other milestones you've made in, you know, like your, your, your wealth
00:05:50.900 and your relationships?
00:05:52.220 And you've already, you've already, you've already kind of talked about your, yourself
00:05:56.160 where you got up in the mornings and, and engaged in that physical and mental fight club
00:06:00.400 with yourself.
00:06:01.080 But let's talk about some of the other aspects in your life.
00:06:03.460 Big milestone with, is with my wife and my family and, and, and it's still a journey,
00:06:09.420 but I can, I'm knowing where I started from and where I'm at today, where I, where I started
00:06:16.760 from, where I've been to, and then where I backed up to in some senses, those, those are
00:06:22.860 good milestones.
00:06:23.600 And so, you know, like I said earlier, it's just right now I'm trying, I'm forcing myself
00:06:28.800 to a bit of a break of things just because I'm a little bit exhausted, but again, it's
00:06:33.000 backing it up, look, recognizing from the summer where I stopped having my own fight club in
00:06:38.520 the morning and, and recognize that I need to get back to that.
00:06:42.120 Uh, but when I was doing that, we were on a high dating regularly, having intentional,
00:06:48.160 um, family dates, intentional, uh, wife dates, uh, date McQueen, um, those kinds of things
00:06:54.400 and recognizing that it was first a battle with myself.
00:06:57.900 You know, I grew a beard just so I could, cause my wife hated it.
00:07:01.260 And so doing that, it was like going, I'm still going to be the king of this thing.
00:07:07.240 Um, and, and, and so I'm going to grow this beard out and she's going to love me in spite
00:07:13.180 of that thing.
00:07:14.000 And she does.
00:07:15.200 And, and, and, and, and it, and it's kind of, uh, how do you, it's commanded something
00:07:22.140 in it.
00:07:23.260 It's just, it just exercising dominance in the situation.
00:07:27.080 I think, I think that's more of you exercising than, than the actual beard.
00:07:32.400 I mean, I've said it numerous times.
00:07:33.900 Ryan's beard isn't magical.
00:07:36.180 No, no, it's not.
00:07:37.240 Because I think it does to you.
00:07:38.700 Right.
00:07:38.960 It's the presence behind it.
00:07:40.720 That's it.
00:07:41.700 That's it.
00:07:42.280 Luckily, my girlfriend would murder me in my sleep if I even thought about trimming it.
00:07:46.940 So.
00:07:47.080 Well, you wouldn't, you wouldn't be the same man without it.
00:07:49.560 You know what I'm saying?
00:07:50.560 You know, there's a cockiness, there's a swagger that you got to live up to.
00:07:54.620 No, I mean, if you're going to put it out there, be, be prepared to get it handed
00:07:58.780 back to you.
00:07:59.640 Absolutely.
00:08:00.580 But it's that thing.
00:08:01.520 It's just that swagger that comes along with it.
00:08:03.560 So, uh, um, yeah, those are some milestones.
00:08:05.960 Family, uh, business.
00:08:07.680 My business is, is, uh, excelled.
00:08:10.420 I know I can, it's making me get out there and hustle harder and produce better.
00:08:14.560 Yeah.
00:08:15.040 But, and again, it's from last summer, uh, until now I've noticed a slip because, uh,
00:08:20.560 again, that, that rage club or that fight club that's hadn't been exercised quite to
00:08:26.100 the peak that it was, uh, I'm recognizing now and as that missing that hurdle and missing
00:08:32.820 that mile marker.
00:08:33.660 It's like when I, when I, when I control me, then I am in complete control of everything
00:08:40.800 else after that, whatever comes at me.
00:08:44.120 Yeah.
00:08:45.080 How did you overcome that hurdle of stopping being who you were and jumping into where you
00:08:53.260 are?
00:08:54.200 How did I recognize that hurdle?
00:08:55.720 How'd you overcome it?
00:08:56.600 Oh, how did I overcome it, man?
00:08:59.300 It just getting up in the morning and, uh, you know, really at the time we, um, in, in
00:09:05.660 the order of man, uh, I don't remember if we were doing them in the IC or if we were just
00:09:09.000 doing them in the order of man, I think it was order of man, uh, and the burpee challenges,
00:09:12.660 the pushup challenges, whatever physical exercise it was.
00:09:15.920 It was that those challenges that were giving me something to do and going and sweating and
00:09:22.280 dominating and winning at those points.
00:09:23.880 Those were the things that I was doing regularly.
00:09:26.020 And then in doing that, it's like, Oh snap, I just hit a goal.
00:09:30.260 I put it out there socially and let people applaud it.
00:09:33.940 And when people applauded it, I was like feeling recognized.
00:09:37.300 And so there was a, there was a constant turnover and things.
00:09:41.240 I would do something, I would get gratification back and I would put it out there again.
00:09:44.960 And I would be, and it would be cyclical.
00:09:46.980 Uh, and I, and I maintain that momentum.
00:09:49.780 And that's how you gain confidence.
00:09:51.180 I see a lot of questions in order of man specifically where people are like, well, how do I gain confidence?
00:09:56.240 You do shit.
00:09:57.440 You do shit.
00:09:58.320 You keep doing shit.
00:09:59.820 You get right.
00:10:00.620 You get recognized for it.
00:10:01.880 And as that recognition comes in and you, you build that momentum, confidence comes.
00:10:07.760 Confidence comes that I had to share it back with the rest of the group that I was doing it with.
00:10:13.440 Um, I, there was, I was afraid to put it back out there, um, because I was, I wasn't, I didn't have that confidence to put it back out there going, well, this guy's doing more than me or whatever.
00:10:24.740 It just didn't feel like it ranked up.
00:10:26.320 But the truth of the matter is just, if you, once you gain the, gain that confidence to put it out there so people can recognize it, applaud it, boo it or, you know, and, and critique it.
00:10:37.900 And that serves, that serves mankind and it, and putting it out there so they can give you feedback.
00:10:45.180 So you can either take it or correct it and self-correct, but you have to put it out there and you have to be around other people that are on the same journey with you.
00:10:52.540 Yes.
00:10:52.820 You'd be surprised.
00:10:53.760 There's that nobody ever beat you up for it.
00:10:57.020 Yeah.
00:10:57.640 You said you were 50 pounds overweight, right?
00:11:00.140 Yeah.
00:11:00.640 Two 49 was my heaviest.
00:11:02.080 Yeah.
00:11:02.360 Where are you at now?
00:11:03.360 One 97.
00:11:04.220 One 97.
00:11:04.860 And you just competed in the CrossFit games?
00:11:08.640 I did.
00:11:09.620 I just CrossFit opened, submitting my score in the Masters, 45 to 49.
00:11:15.560 I'd say in the percentiles, I'm in the way, way, way low percentiles.
00:11:20.480 But it's been, it's been amazing because I know the guy that was on the couch this time last year and wasn't doing those things.
00:11:31.560 And, and so putting that out there, putting that out there to my peers and getting recognized for it or not getting recognized, but just putting it out there and comparing myself to others and not, not so much that I'm comparing myself to be better than them.
00:11:47.900 And while there's a little bit of a competition with some guys, it's really a matter of going, I'm doing this with them and, and I'm, I'm sweating with them and, and, and we're all on the same ground.
00:11:59.720 And knowing that we're better off than the guy that was on the couch 50 pounds ago or a year ago or two years ago, whatever the case may be.
00:12:06.340 Yeah.
00:12:07.600 I, I've noticed that whenever I'm shoulder to shoulder, somebody, you know, sweat, blood and tears, man, that bond that builds is just huge.
00:12:18.320 It's huge, man.
00:12:20.320 So what have you taken away from, from this journey that you've been on?
00:12:25.840 Well, well, one, I recognize that every confrontation is a mile marker.
00:12:33.780 I'm hoping I handle it better than the last time I handled a similar, similar confrontation, you know, knowing that I'm in the place that I am as a result of the choices that I've made.
00:12:46.340 And the guy two years ago, the guy 50 pounds ago, uh, wouldn't recognize that he laid blame on somebody else and, uh, and found a way that it was somebody else's fault.
00:12:58.260 Now it's, uh, I'm going, I know where I'm at and it's a result of the choices that I've made and, uh, and the decisions that I made and dealing with it.
00:13:08.420 So knowing that now keeps, keeps me in a place to be able to keep looking forward to go and bring on the next challenge.
00:13:15.040 Let's keep kicking this can down the road.
00:13:17.200 So it sounds to me like you're kind of channeling a little bit of Jocko's, um, extreme ownership there.
00:13:22.260 That book changed my life.
00:13:24.580 So changed my life.
00:13:26.800 There is a phrase in that book that I, that I use often.
00:13:29.940 I mean, I've got it printed out at my desk at work.
00:13:33.160 You, you encourage what you tolerate.
00:13:35.460 And while that, that is a great leadership tactic, whenever you're, you're dealing with subordinates and, you know, people that work for you, et cetera, that is also something that when you're looking in that mirror and having that conversation, what about that guy?
00:13:51.220 Am I willing to tolerate everything about that book change?
00:13:56.520 I've, I've read that book probably, I don't know.
00:13:59.360 Well, I've got it on Kindle, uh, and audio and I just play it in the background just to let it just like soak in when I'm in a battle of sorts.
00:14:09.260 And I could learn to step back, stand up on top of the building and get that sniper's perspective of a situation.
00:14:16.620 I can navigate my way out every single time, but having heard that, uh, until I heard that I was always going to be the guy that was going to stay in the weeds and just bulldoze this way through.
00:14:30.620 And it's gotten me nowhere.
00:14:32.660 Yeah.
00:14:33.100 I was about to ask how that, how that's working out for you.
00:14:35.260 It never worked out.
00:14:36.420 It never worked out for 49 years.
00:14:38.540 Uh, well, coming up on 49, but it was, it was never going to work.
00:14:42.740 And now once the confrontation hits, it's just like, if I can just put something on pause just long enough so I can climb to the top of that building and get a perch and I will snipe out every problem along the way and crush it.
00:14:58.220 That's why I can recognize now going, man, things are kind of in a, in a, in a tailspin here.
00:15:03.160 What's going on?
00:15:04.120 Boom.
00:15:04.620 Top of the building.
00:15:05.320 Where did you miss it at?
00:15:06.200 Missed it back when I stopped going and working out in the morning in the garage.
00:15:10.000 Cool.
00:15:10.580 Check.
00:15:11.180 Let's flip that up and do something different this week.
00:15:13.860 There you go.
00:15:14.960 So these guys that are, that are just kind of getting started on this, man, what kind of, what kind of advice would you give them as they're, as they're getting into the trenches?
00:15:24.480 Read the instructions all the way through.
00:15:28.280 When you're done with the instructions, go back and start doing it.
00:15:32.860 Don't start doing it until you've read the instructions.
00:15:35.400 You know how you're in the third or the fourth grade and they gave you that long list of 10 checkpoints and, and, and the very last one was, you know, it was takes you down this rabbit trail.
00:15:47.660 And the last one was, by the way, only do the first thing and turn it in.
00:15:52.300 But you started going and you started chipping away, chipping away only to get to the last line.
00:15:57.180 And you're like, oh, wow, I didn't have to do any of this.
00:15:59.680 Yep.
00:16:00.800 That's, that's the, that's the quick start guide.
00:16:03.500 You know, I see guys trying to do the battle plan.
00:16:05.420 And they're like, oh, snap, I'm going to go download the planner.
00:16:08.900 I'm going to fill in the boxes that are going to copy what, what somebody put in the quick start as an example.
00:16:14.240 And then they're posting it up in the quick or in the Slack channel and going, hey, I can't figure out my, my calibration.
00:16:20.800 Or I can't figure out what, what connection is supposed to mean.
00:16:23.900 It was like, did you read chapter 20 of sovereignty?
00:16:27.000 Well, no, but you're supposed to read the book before you ever start the battle plan.
00:16:31.440 Oh, okay.
00:16:33.480 Okay.
00:16:34.160 Yeah.
00:16:34.720 Go read chapter 20 and then come back and we'll talk.
00:16:37.340 Nice.
00:16:37.700 So what, what Reese is talking about here is in the Iron Council, we have, we have a private Slack channel that helps get our new guys up to speed.
00:16:46.040 For those of you guys that aren't in the Iron Council, that's kind of a little bit of inside baseball for you.
00:16:50.740 Um, the, the, I got to hand it to you.
00:16:53.280 You know, we, Iron Council is, is, is, is,
00:16:56.480 has been a growth progress and I've enjoyed watching the journey of it, uh, over the past two years.
00:17:04.820 The game changer, the, the catalyst of everything of what the Iron Council was supposed to be is on a hinge point right now.
00:17:14.880 And it's going to be on a trajectory and it's because of the book sovereignty.
00:17:18.940 Uh, we now have a manual to go by.
00:17:21.560 We have, we have, and it, it, you cannot neglect those 25 chapters, uh, and think that you're going to get it because it's all laid out for you point by point by point as to, as to how this thing functions and operates.
00:17:35.260 And I promise you at the end of the book, Ryan doesn't tell you to go, go back and only do steps one and two.
00:17:40.580 Uh, no, he doesn't.
00:17:44.240 I was kind of expecting it though.
00:17:47.240 All right, man.
00:17:48.020 So something that we like to do on this show is you get to give these guys that are listening a challenge that over the next week, they're going to go out and complete.
00:17:57.260 And then they're going to post in the order of man group with the hashtag in the trenches.
00:18:02.460 So what's that challenge, brother, man.
00:18:06.280 The challenge is to find 10 minutes in the morning.
00:18:13.220 And on a blank piece of paper, write down who you want yourself to be.
00:18:22.300 Answer the question, what do you want?
00:18:26.700 And write that down.
00:18:29.040 Then at that, for that question, then you're going to write, when do you want it?
00:18:34.200 Write that answer down.
00:18:35.940 And then the third question that you're going to ask yourself is who do you have to become to make that person happen?
00:18:43.660 By then.
00:18:45.320 And write that down.
00:18:47.360 So what am I?
00:18:47.880 And then the challenge is to go back and do that thing.
00:18:54.280 Just one thing.
00:18:56.220 I love that, man.
00:18:57.080 Love it.
00:18:57.800 I will catch you around.
00:18:58.960 I really appreciate you being here.
00:19:00.960 Oh, this is fun, man.
00:19:02.000 Looking forward to seeing where this journey takes you next.
00:19:05.280 Please don't post any pictures.
00:19:10.340 Absolutely.
00:19:11.280 Well, I appreciate you, man.
00:19:12.260 I got to say, I really enjoyed building this thing with all the guys around.
00:19:17.880 And I haven't actually had a chance to share this with you personally, but I've really enjoyed the challenges that you put up and the boldness and really the zero fucks that you put out there, man.
00:19:31.660 I'm watching you and watch you grow and what you've grown into.
00:19:37.960 I appreciate you, man.
00:19:39.400 I really do.
00:19:40.100 Thanks, brother.
00:19:40.640 I appreciate you.
00:19:43.160 If you've been inspired by this conversation, we encourage you to learn more about the steps, tools, strategy, and resources these men are using inside of our exclusive brotherhood, The Iron Council.
00:19:52.860 The Iron Council is a band of brothers dedicated to leveling up their lives and committed to helping you do the same.
00:19:58.220 You can learn more at orderofman.com slash in the trenches.
00:20:01.660 Until next week, take action and become the man you are meant to be.
00:20:05.300 To be continued.
00:20:11.740 To be continued.
00:20:12.400 To be continued.