In this episode, I sit down with Kip Sorensen, an IT Consultant, husband, and father. Kip shares his story of how he went from being raised on a dairy farm to becoming a badass IT consultant.
00:08:12.200One of the things that I that I preach regularly is if you don't make your expectations known.
00:08:17.420You don't get to get pissed off whenever they're not met.
00:08:21.460And so many of us, I mean, myself included, I used to get so mad when people wouldn't do what I thought they should know to do.
00:08:29.300And then finally, somebody asked me one time, they're like, well, have you asked them or have you let them know that they're supposed to be doing this?
00:09:10.720Like when when I if we if you want to get like real, like really raw and real and you want to call out what is honesty or what is dishonest, it is creating an impression that is not 100 percent accurate.
00:11:17.060And the irony is you don't get that and you don't get to give that to people if you're constantly worried about looking good and avoiding looking bad.
00:11:29.640So that's something that I've kind of learned, especially, you know, dealing in the Iron Council is the more open I am, the more it seems to give permission to other guys to be open as well.
00:12:34.840And, and I realized, and I was making some excuses and I was running these stories to these guys that, oh, we need to have integrity and you need to be on these phone calls or whatever.
00:12:43.980And I realized I was out of integrity and, and I don't remember the exact moment, but I realized I'm like, oh my gosh, like I'm not being real with these guys.
00:12:53.700I'm a battle team leader for the wrong reason.
00:12:56.560And I jumped on the call and I, I caught, called an audible because in our accounts, we typically have these monthly subjects and assignments that we kind of go over.
00:13:05.920And I, I called an audible and I told the team, I said, Hey, I need to bring up something and I need to restore my integrity.
00:13:14.900You know, I said, it's important to be on these calls.
00:13:17.420I made some excuses for not being on the calls and I, and I told them my reasoning.
00:13:32.800And I go, that's the very problem, right?
00:13:35.800That's the very problem is we constantly do this in society where people give us some bullshit excuse and then we'll go, Oh no, it's okay, man.
00:13:50.760If I, if I call out, if I don't call out Bubba and I make it okay for him to slip and lack integrity, then he's not going to call me out on it.
00:14:16.720We're not going to have the typical conversations that we have in society where we just, you know, Oh yeah, we feel sorry for you and we understand or whatever.
00:14:53.580So one of the things that you just touched on right there is whenever you're calling these guys out, it opens yourself up to be called out.
00:15:14.240I mean, as you, as you see, as you, as you're looking for that and other people to call them out, you'll naturally start seeing it in yourself for sure.
00:15:25.640So, brother, what kind of advice would you give these guys that are just getting started on their journey?
00:15:31.220Man, you know, there's so much stuff, right?
00:15:34.120I mean, listen to the podcast, read the books, you know, join the iron council, those kinds of things.
00:15:40.200But if I had to sum it up into kind of like a mantra that I would have is be self-aware, right?
00:15:50.160Like get what you're doing, like really call yourself out, realize where you're being dishonest with yourself and with others and be aware of the stories, the excuses, the white lies that you're telling yourself.
00:16:06.000And, and I really do feel as we do that, we actually start having empathy for other people, right?
00:16:13.860I now realize that when someone else is doing something, I get it, right?
00:16:17.640Like they have some story and it's their, it's their battle that they're struggling with or whatever.
00:16:22.420And so it doesn't make me more judgmental or harsh or anything, but it helps me understand, right?
00:16:29.920And most importantly, like as we become self-aware and we're aware of how we're dealing with things, then we can grow, right?
00:16:38.380If we're, if we have the blinders on and we're worried so much about looking good and avoidance of looking bad, we're not going to, we're not in a space of learning.
00:16:46.940We're not in a space of how, you know, how do I need to level up in these different areas of my life?
00:16:51.280Like we're, we're too caught up in the idea of trying to look good, right?
00:16:56.100And we're not, we're not going to take the necessary efforts to become better men.
00:16:59.380And most importantly, you're not going to inspire anybody.
00:17:02.920And that's, that's powerful stuff right there, brother.
00:17:05.200So this is something that I do on every one of these for the guys listening.
00:17:09.220If you could challenge them to do one thing over the next week, what would that be?
00:17:14.160It would be give up the stories, give up, always putting on a front, trying to look good for the acceptance.
00:18:33.020And I think there's, right, there's a whole book, right?
00:18:35.480And I'm sure Ryan's book number two or three will be, what is it, you know, is the definition of what it is to be a man, maybe.
00:18:42.820But in my, you know, kind of on target to kind of what we're talking about today and kind of what we've talked about thus far, I think it is being a man of integrity.
00:18:54.260And I think there are some key points that I would like to suggest because I think integrity is an elusive term.
00:20:13.060Just wanted to follow up on this interview a little bit.
00:20:15.900When Kip was talking about his failed marriage, a lot of those points really struck home to me.
00:20:22.340And instead of sharing that with you guys, I really clammed up and went inside myself.
00:20:28.000After recording this interview, it dawned on me that I really should have opened up a little bit more and shared more about what I had gone through personally.
00:20:35.220So, my previous marriage, I actually wound up having an emotional affair on her as well.
00:20:42.700I mean, we wound up divorcing, but for different reasons than why Kip did.
00:20:47.500And I just, the more that I thought about it, the more that it weighed on me that I didn't own up to that whenever I was speaking to Kip.
00:21:30.280If you've been inspired by this conversation, we encourage you to learn more about the steps, tools, strategy, and resources these men are using inside of our exclusive brotherhood, The Iron Council.
00:21:39.620The Iron Council is a band of brothers dedicated to leveling up their lives and committed to helping you do the same.
00:21:45.340You can learn more at orderofman.com slash inthetrenches.
00:21:48.360Until next week, take action and become the man you are meant to be.