Order of Man - Lead in the Absence of Leadership

00:00:00.000 You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest. Embrace your fears and boldly chart

00:00:05.000 your own path. When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time. Every time.

00:00:10.460 You are not easily deterred or defeated. Rugged. Resilient. Strong. This is your life. This is who

00:00:17.240 you are. This is who you will become. At the end of the day, and after all is said and done,

00:00:22.800 you can call yourself a man. Gentlemen, what is going on today? My name is Ryan Michler.

00:00:27.680 I'm the host and the founder of the Order of Men podcast and movement. Welcome here. This is

00:00:33.360 a movement and a podcast designed to give you the things that you need as a man.

00:00:39.080 Whether that's the tools or the resources or the guidance or the direction, whatever you need to

00:00:43.600 step up in your family, in your business, in your community, your own personal life. I want to make

00:00:47.580 sure I make those resources available. So we've got this podcast. We interview incredible men.

00:00:53.640 Again, we've been going for six and a half years. I think we're at 45 million or something downloads.

00:00:59.320 The number's crazy. We've done over 800 podcasts at this point. So I just want to thank you for

00:01:04.340 being in this battle. I want to thank you for championing the cause of masculinity and let you

00:01:09.000 know that we're not stopping or slowing down anytime soon. I've got something that I need to talk with

00:01:14.900 you guys about today regarding leadership. I'm going to get to that in just a quick minute,

00:01:18.440 but before I do just want to give a shout out to my friends and show sponsors origin USA. These guys

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00:02:22.220 at checkout to save some cash again, originusa.com use the code order at checkout. All right, guys,

00:02:30.080 we're going to be talking about leadership. Uh, this is one of the core tenants of masculinity,

00:02:33.860 by the way, you know, you can see it on my hat. If you're watching this on YouTube,

00:02:37.280 uh, it's protect, provide, preside that preside component is synonymous with leadership. And so

00:02:42.600 it's our obligation, our moral responsibility and duty to step up as leaders, leaders for ourselves,

00:02:49.220 leaders in the walls of our businesses and the walls of our home outside in the community

00:02:53.020 and wherever we're showing up. And, uh, it's clear to me, there is a absence of leadership

00:02:59.040 leadership on the society and cultural front, whether that's at work, whether that's our elected

00:03:06.060 officials, uh, even state and local officials. Uh, there there's a, there's an absence of leadership.

00:03:12.660 And I heard this, uh, the other day, and I wish I could tell you who I heard it from. I can't remember

00:03:17.180 right offhand, but, uh, he had said that it's our job to lead in the absence of leadership. And how

00:03:23.940 often have you been in scenarios where you're expecting somebody else to lead and nobody's

00:03:29.180 stepping up. And so nothing ever gets done. And a lot of times what happens for us as men

00:03:35.080 is we're sitting back and we're waiting because we don't have the title or we don't have the express

00:03:41.060 authority to lead in the absence of leadership. And so we sit and we rest on our laurels and rest on

00:03:46.940 our haunches and think that, you know, this is somebody else's arena guys. You don't need a title.

00:03:51.740 You don't need the mantle. You don't need the promotion. You don't need to be tapped on the

00:03:56.520 shoulder. You don't need to be knighted and, and, and, and told that you are now a leader and now

00:04:01.480 you can act as a leader. You should be doing that first. And if there is no leadership available or

00:04:06.680 no leadership around, or even if there's poor leadership, then it's on you to step up as a

00:04:11.540 leader. And by the way, and this is not ironic that the more that you step up first without that

00:04:17.560 official leadership title, the more likely it is that at some point you will have the leadership

00:04:22.400 title, but it isn't all about titles guys. It isn't all about the notoriety and the fame and even

00:04:27.420 the money that might come with you stepping up as a leader. It's about helping other people. It's

00:04:33.240 about solving problems. It's about getting your people to a place they could not have imagined going

00:04:38.820 on their own. And that's reward enough. Now, the other things will happen. You're going to make more

00:04:42.940 money. You're going to be more well-known. You're going to achieve new goals and ambitions and

00:04:48.020 desires. All of that will happen through leadership. But if you really want to step up as a leader,

00:04:53.180 you want to become a leader and you want that specific title, for example, then lead first,

00:04:58.400 the title will follow lead first, the title will follow. So let me break this down. And you might

00:05:03.760 hear this and think, well, duh, that's a pretty easy framework. If it is, then why isn't everybody

00:05:08.940 doing it? I'm going to give you a three-part framework that will not fail as a leader.

00:05:14.100 It will absolutely not fail. And you will be a champion for your cause. You will help people get

00:05:20.100 to somewhere they could not have again. Imagine going on their own and you will be looked upon

00:05:24.440 as a leader. You will have more authority. You will have more credibility. You will have more

00:05:28.840 influence and people will follow you. So number one is that in any situation, in any environment,

00:05:35.980 you should always be looking to identify problems. If you're at home, what needs to be taken care of?

00:05:42.400 What needs to be done around the house? What little inefficiencies are there? Are you guys all

00:05:47.140 scattered and nobody in the home is on the same page? That might be the same at work as well.

00:05:51.900 Or at work, maybe there is a new way of doing things. Maybe the boss or the team leader doesn't

00:05:58.360 know about this new app that just released that you heard about on some podcast. And so you can now

00:06:04.120 introduce that app, which will help with efficiency, which will help with time management,

00:06:08.360 which will save the company money and time and overhead. Well, those are problems that you can

00:06:15.580 begin to identify. And then the next step is for you to step into the solutions.

00:06:22.860 So now you're going to start recognizing problems and that's your job everywhere you go.

00:06:27.760 Here's a better way of doing this. Here's a better way of doing that. Here's a thing or consideration

00:06:31.160 for that. And you're also going to be flexing that creative muscle. Now I will say this,

00:06:36.180 you need to be cautious in giving unsolicited feedback because that's the natural tendency

00:06:42.760 when you're looking for problems is that you're going to offer feedback everywhere you go because

00:06:47.760 you see the inefficiencies in the work environment, in the home space, and you start offering this

00:06:53.460 feedback. It might become a problem if you don't do it correctly because now you're offering

00:06:59.160 unsolicited feedback and it may become more of a nuisance or an annoyance than anything else.

00:07:05.540 Another danger is that you move into step number two, which is to identify solutions to these

00:07:10.340 problems without fully understanding all of the ramifications of the problem itself.

00:07:16.180 So it's very easy to look at something in the work environment and think, well, I have a solution

00:07:19.760 to that. And you're looking at it from such a narrow window or such a narrow perspective

00:07:24.820 that you don't see the broad general picture and you miss something because you think you have

00:07:31.240 the answer. So when you're looking for problems, you want to look at them broadly. It's very easy to

00:07:37.880 get narrowed, to get focused, to have that tunnel vision, be very cautious and very careful because

00:07:43.720 if you start presenting solutions based on your limited or narrow perspective, you might actually

00:07:49.860 be teeing yourself up for failure. And again, you're going to become more of a nuisance or an

00:07:54.480 annoyance and potentially even a problem relative to what you were before when you were just doing

00:07:59.980 your work. So don't let ego and pride and arrogance get in the way. You really have to come with the

00:08:06.380 right motive. And if your true motive of identifying problems and offering solutions is to help, is to

00:08:12.100 help your family or to help your team or to help your employer or your organization or company,

00:08:16.420 then what you will do is you will back up and you will look at it from a broad perspective.

00:08:23.580 You will get insight and information from other people that have things that you may not be aware

00:08:27.860 of so that you can round out your perspective. And that's what you want as you're looking for these

00:08:33.740 solutions. Now, next guys is simply making the connections. Again, do this open. Don't give

00:08:41.120 unsolicited feedback. Don't necessarily ram things down people's throats and say,

00:08:46.160 this is the only way to do it. No, have a little class, have a little tact and make the connections.

00:08:52.660 So if your team at work is looking for a way to save in taxes, for example, and you happen to know

00:09:01.060 a great CPA, well, there's a connection that you can make. Again, reach out to the person with the

00:09:06.840 problem first so you understand the entire dynamic before you start making recommendations because they

00:09:13.280 may or may not work based on what the entire picture is, not just the parts you can see.

00:09:17.840 If it's a friend who happens to call you and he's trying to grow his business or his organization or

00:09:24.740 has a question about merchandise or how to start a podcast. And I'll give you an example. I had

00:09:30.920 somebody reached out to me earlier today and they said, Hey, I'm looking for a podcast editor.

00:09:35.220 I'm starting a podcast and I need to make sure I have an editor locked in as we get going.

00:09:40.740 Well, here's the beautiful thing. There's your problem. I didn't even have to identify the

00:09:44.120 problem in that case. He came to me. Okay. So I'm going to make his problem, my problem,

00:09:48.160 because that's a friend that's somebody I care about. That's step number one. Step number two

00:09:52.380 is look for solutions. Well, I have a podcast editor. His name's Chad Robson. He does a great job on this

00:09:57.760 podcast. And I know that he's very professional. He's very timely. And he's going to do,

00:10:03.580 he's going to do a great job. So Michael reached out to me. He needs a podcast editor. I have Chad.

00:10:09.620 He's a podcast editor. I reached out to Chad. Chad, I've got somebody who's interested in

00:10:13.480 having some podcasts edited. Are you interested? Can you handle more? Are you interested in

00:10:19.120 handling more? And he said, absolutely. I'd be interested in that. Boom. Good. Now I win.

00:10:23.320 That's leadership guys. All right. I had influence with Michael because he reached out to me.

00:10:28.520 So there was some leadership influence there. I've obviously got some level of leadership with Chad

00:10:33.300 because he's working for me and the organization as it comes to editing our podcast. So there's

00:10:38.520 leadership there. I've got a problem. I've got access to the solution. And the third point,

00:10:43.740 make the connection. That's it. Guys, it's simple. We overlook this all too often. We think that

00:10:51.240 there's some complex, complicated way of going about life and navigating all the little avenues and

00:10:59.180 veins that you could explore. It's simple. And the more you simplify it, the more that I hope

00:11:03.880 you'll actually implement it in your life. And I'll say this about the third component of this,

00:11:09.020 making the connections. When I say making the connections, it might be a person like that example

00:11:13.460 I just gave you, or it might be access to technology or an app or a product or a solution that isn't a

00:11:21.220 person necessarily, but it will solve the problem. Right? So make those connections. And the beauty of it is

00:11:28.340 that you don't actually have to be the one all the time solving the problem, right? Like when Michael

00:11:34.600 came to me and said, I need a podcast editor. I didn't say, I'm going to edit your podcast for you.

00:11:40.620 That isn't a requirement. And it's actually not good. It's not good for him because I wouldn't do

00:11:45.000 as great a job as Chad can do. It's not good for me because I don't have time to do that. And it's not

00:11:49.780 good for Chad because he's missing it out on an opportunity that he's uniquely qualified to do.

00:11:53.640 So being a leader doesn't mean that you have to do everything. Being a leader means that everything

00:12:00.120 has to get done. That's a shift that I've been making over the past several months from believing

00:12:05.540 that I need to be the one doing everything. And it was stressful. It was inefficient. I was making

00:12:12.420 less money. I was worn down. I was temperamental. I was getting after people. I was becoming a bit of

00:12:19.620 a pessimist. And I realized through mentorship that Ryan, you don't need to do it all. You just

00:12:24.900 need to ensure it all gets done. And that's what a great leader will do. Here's the direction. Here's

00:12:32.260 the problem. Here's where we want to go. Here's the pitfalls. Here's some solutions. Here's some

00:12:36.700 answers. Here's people that might have answers and then start plugging those solutions into the right

00:12:41.720 places, bringing the right people on, having the right technology, all that kind of stuff.

00:12:46.680 And the last thing I'll say to you, and this is kind of a bonus part of the framework. So we've got

00:12:51.300 one, you're recognizing problems. Two is you're identifying solutions. And then three, you're

00:12:58.680 making those connections. And point number four, I would say, and this is just like a bonus here,

00:13:04.500 is that you need to have your pulse on what's going on. There's a lot of guys who are uninformed.

00:13:13.440 They're not aware of cultural events. They're not really tapped into the news or social media or

00:13:20.520 technology. And we say things like, well, why would I be on Facebook because of this? And I hate

00:13:25.540 technology because of that. And I understand the sentiment. Trust me. I understand the sentiment more

00:13:31.120 than just about anybody else. But I'll tell you, if I don't have my pulse or the pulse on what's going

00:13:36.860 on, I'm missing critical opportunities to be valuable in other people's lives. So yeah, you

00:13:43.720 could retreat and you could withdraw and you could disengage from life and society and culture and all

00:13:50.380 these other things. You could do that. Or you could be involved and you could keep your finger on the

00:13:55.980 pulse of what's going on so that you can actually provide solutions. There's a great passage in

00:14:01.160 scripture that says we are instructed to be in the world, but not of it. And I think the same way when

00:14:07.160 it comes to social media and it comes to technology and it comes to current events and cultural

00:14:12.120 experiences that are happening is I want to be aware of it. I want to be in the know.

00:14:18.720 I want to be in the world, but not necessarily of it. Meaning I don't want to be driven by it.

00:14:23.880 I don't want it to define me. I don't want it to master me. I want to use these things as tools to

00:14:30.880 help myself, to help the people I care about, and frankly, to help strangers that need help and need

00:14:37.080 to be led and are looking for leadership. Now, here's the beauty. And I'll end with this

00:14:41.220 is that it's very frustrating when you expect there to be leadership around, you know, you go to a work

00:14:49.420 conference or you go into work or your boss tells you you have a new assignment or you go into church

00:14:54.980 and you're looking for direction, right? Isn't that what you're looking for? If you want to be led by

00:14:59.700 other people, you're looking for some guidance, for some instruction, for some direction. And so it's

00:15:04.700 very easy to become a pessimist. Well, you know, my company didn't train me and this company didn't

00:15:09.560 do that. And my wife is this, and the economy is that, and the president is this, and it's very,

00:15:14.820 or my church congregation didn't do what I think they should do. It's very easy to do that.

00:15:19.420 But guys, we as men are not looking for the easy path and we're not necessarily looking for the

00:15:24.220 hard path either, but we're willing to walk that path because we know that the path that's harder,

00:15:29.340 although less traveled, is going to lead to greater results. So it is very easy to be pessimistic in the

00:15:35.960 absence of leadership, but I want you to flip that on its head. And instead of bitching and moaning and

00:15:40.660 griping and complaining and talking about how horrible your company is or how, how, how non-existent

00:15:47.200 leadership is, is instead look at it as an opportunity. What a great thing that there's

00:15:52.900 a void in leadership. What an amazing opportunity. Great. Nobody at work is giving you any guidance and

00:15:58.680 direction. Beautiful. That represents an opportunity for you to step into that environment, make

00:16:03.880 yourself known, make yourself valuable, and then reap the benefits that come with it. And there is nothing

00:16:09.220 wrong with reaping the benefits of your hard work and effort. Sometimes people believe that,

00:16:13.620 especially when it comes to money and they'll even take things that I do for the iron council,

00:16:18.340 for example, and they'll calculate how much it is a month and how many members we have. And then

00:16:22.600 they'll calculate how much money I make a month. And they're all butthurt about, well, I can't believe

00:16:27.940 you make this much money. Is it, aren't you just doing this out of the goodness of your heart? Well,

00:16:31.860 here's the thing, guys, both can exist simultaneously. I can be doing this out of the goodness of my heart

00:16:37.540 because I want to serve you and other men. And also I want to make money. Heaven forbid I put a roof

00:16:44.020 over mine and my family's head. Heaven forbid I put food on the table. Heaven forbid I take a

00:16:49.440 vacation. Heaven forbid I buy a product or a service or a good or a new vehicle or support a company that

00:16:57.560 I really like. Why is that a bad thing? Why do we naturally believe that's at odds with something else?

00:17:04.180 And so your interest, your self-interest in this case to gain credibility, to build your influence

00:17:12.640 and authority, to secure the promotion. Maybe there's some selfish desires there, but okay.

00:17:20.420 And as long as you're doing it with the intent of helping other people and your interests are aligned,

00:17:25.620 meaning your desires are aligned with the desires of the people who would follow you. I see absolutely

00:17:31.380 nothing wrong with that. And not only do I not see anything wrong with that, I would encourage that.

00:17:36.120 I would encourage you to align your personal interests with the interests of the people that

00:17:40.380 you care about. And that's how you all win when those interests are aligned. It's when they're not

00:17:45.180 aligned, when they're at odds with each other, that it becomes an issue. So guys, let's not despair.

00:17:52.260 Let's not gripe and moan and complain about the absence of leadership in your job or your career

00:17:57.320 or in society in general. And let's celebrate the fact that our leadership is weak and they're

00:18:03.300 cowardly and they're timid and they're non-existent. Great. More opportunity for me,

00:18:08.540 more opportunity for me to step up and lead. And look, I know it's easy to say, well, you know,

00:18:13.600 I'm not going to lead until I get that promotion or I'm not going to lead until I get that raise.

00:18:18.440 That's backwards thinking guys. That's backwards thinking. You think that if you continue to be a

00:18:25.300 pawn, like you act, think about this for a second. Think about the players on a chessboard

00:18:30.420 and you're, you're going to act like a pawn because nobody recognized you as a, a rook or a bishop or a

00:18:39.400 knight or a king. So you're going to act like a pawn forever and think that just as you act as a pawn,

00:18:44.280 the king will come and knight you on the shoulder and say, well, you've been a good little pawn.

00:18:48.740 Let me make you a knight now. No guys, that's not how life works. The way that it works. If we're

00:18:55.520 using this analogy is that you decide I'm not going to be a pawn anymore. And I'm going to start acting

00:18:59.680 like a knight. I'm going to start acting like a bishop. I'm going to start acting like a rook.

00:19:03.640 I'm going to start acting like a king. And then people take notice. Even the pawns take notice.

00:19:09.060 You step up and the pawns are like, oh, well, that guy is acting like a knight. He must be a knight.

00:19:13.040 And so they start treating you like it. This is what I'm saying. Leadership comes before the title.

00:19:19.780 The title is a manifestation of who you are. And we don't always get it right. We've had bad leaders.

00:19:26.920 We've had bosses and team leaders and project managers who are weak in leadership. And so it's

00:19:32.160 not a perfect science. It isn't always right. But over the long haul, I can guarantee that if you do

00:19:37.660 the work of a leader, that inevitably and over time, you will be looked upon favorably as a leader

00:19:43.120 and you will get those titles. You will get that promotion. You will get the raise. Your kids will

00:19:47.880 listen to you. Your wife will be led by you and all of the other things that you want in life. So

00:19:52.400 do not despair. Leadership is lacking. Good. In the words of Jocko, that will give us an opportunity to

00:20:00.220 lead where there is no other leadership available. All right, you guys go out there, take action,

00:20:05.440 become the leader that you're meant to be, and also become the man you're meant to be.

00:20:10.260 Thank you for listening to the Order of Man podcast. You're ready to take charge of your life

00:20:14.780 and be more of the man you were meant to be. We invite you to join the order at orderofman.com.

Order of Man - November 12, 2021

Lead in the Absence of Leadership ｜ FRIDAY FIELD NOTES

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