In this episode of Field Notes, host Ryan Michler talks about the power of letting go of excuses, and how we can shift the burden of responsibility off of ourselves to someone else. We all fall short at times, and we all have those little egos that we deal with where we don't want to face the reality that maybe we're inadequate. And so what do we do?
00:00:00.000You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest. Embrace your fears and boldly chart your own path.
00:00:06.020When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time. Every time.
00:00:10.440You are not easily deterred or defeated. Rugged. Resilient. Strong.
00:00:15.520This is your life. This is who you are. This is who you will become.
00:00:19.760At the end of the day, and after all is said and done, you can call yourself a man.
00:00:24.720Gentlemen, what is going on today? My name is Ryan Michler, and I am the host and the founder of this movement and the podcast, of course, Order of Man.
00:00:32.660I want to welcome you here, whether you're tuning in for the very first time today or you've been with us for any amount of time.
00:00:38.120This is your Friday Field Notes, so you're going to hear from me and some thoughts that I've been having from throughout the week.
00:00:43.000I've got an interesting one lined up for you today on the subject of excuses because I had a conversation earlier in the week that I wanted to share,
00:00:50.320or at least share a portion of that conversation with you and how we can harness the power of allowing our excuses to expire at some point in our lives.
00:00:59.060So I'm going to get into that in a minute.
00:01:00.480We've also got our Tuesday interview show, and I'm interviewing guys like Jocko Willing, Grant Cardone, Andy Frisilla, David Goggins, TJ Dillashaw.
00:01:10.360Again, if you've been following us for any amount of time, you know the caliber of guests that we've had on the show and that we will continue to have on the podcast.
00:01:18.340In fact, next week, we've got Chad Prather on, the political cowboy.
00:01:21.840I'm excited to get that one into your earbuds.
00:01:25.380Then we've also got our Wednesday show, which is an Ask Me Anything, where it's Kip Sorensen and I, my co-host and I,
00:01:31.900where we are fielding some questions from Facebook and Patreon and our exclusive brotherhood, the Iron Council.
00:02:16.980Most of the guys I hunt with shoot with a Hoyt bow.
00:02:18.980So an incredible, incredible piece of machinery, an incredible tool that will help you on your journey to be a more successful hunter or maybe a new hunter even.
00:02:31.660And that's why I wanted to partner up with these guys.
00:02:33.200So again, head to orderofman.com slash Hoyt and you can register for the giveaway that we'll be doing on April 1st.
00:02:40.680Okay, that is the only announcement that I have today because I want to get right into this.
00:02:47.160And I didn't really come prepared with any notes to be frank with you, but that's okay because I want to riff on this idea.
00:02:53.360I had mentioned to you that earlier in the week I had a conversation with a gentleman who was starting to formulate and come up with all sorts of excuses in his mind about why he was not achieving the level of success that he wanted in his life.
00:03:06.100Now, I think all of us are guilty of this at times.
00:03:09.300We all fall short and we all are afraid at times and have these little egos that we deal with where we don't want to face the reality that maybe we're inadequate.
00:03:22.120Instead, we shift the burden of responsibility and we shift the blame onto something else or someone else.
00:03:30.320Now, the beauty of this is when we do that, we excuse ourselves, right?
00:03:35.520We take the responsibility off of ourselves, off of our shoulders.
00:03:39.140The downside, however, is that while we give away this burden of responsibility, we also and simultaneously give away any power that we had to do anything about it, right?
00:03:52.080Because when I make an excuse, what I'm doing is I'm saying, this is not my fault that I'm inadequate in my relationship or my fitness or my business or fill in the blank, that it's not my fault.
00:04:04.560So therefore, there's nothing I can do about it.
00:04:09.080And that second part of that thought is one of the most destructive factors when it comes to your level of success.
00:04:18.940Again, whether we're dealing with the relationship with your wife or the relationship with your kids or a relationship that you may have with your boss or a client or at work or in the gym or with your bank account or you name it.
00:04:32.240The most destructive or I should say one of the most destructive thoughts, even if you don't consciously say it, it's still there.
00:04:40.580And that thought is there's nothing I can do about it.
00:04:45.420I've always had this thought that if there's one person in the world accomplishing what it is I want to accomplish, then that means there is a possibility, that there's an opening, there's an opportunity for me to do that thing.
00:04:56.660Now, of course, there's all kinds of different factors that come into play, but the reality is that if somebody can do it, I can do it.
00:05:03.300And what this gentleman was doing as I was having a conversation with him is he was blaming his lack of a father figure in his young life, not having a father around, not being able to develop that confidence,
00:05:14.100not learning the things that he needed to learn from a father for his reason for continual failure in his life.
00:05:33.500Others, even though father wasn't around, are extremely successful.
00:05:37.440So is the factor that dad's not around?
00:05:39.420No, it just means that those ones who are successful, who didn't have a father around, learned something.
00:05:46.540They let go of the excuse because there's a point in time where that excuse is valid.
00:05:51.380If you're a young man or a young boy and you're still living at home and you're not getting the leg up and your dad's not around and he's not teaching you what you need to learn.
00:06:05.680If I'm not around for my children, then they are not nearly going to have the same opportunities for success that somebody whose father is around.
00:06:16.180But at some point, now that you're an adult, you get to go out into the world and you get to assert yourself.
00:06:23.420You get to decide, what do I want to learn?
00:06:36.960I used to be one of these individuals who used some sort of excuse that was only valid five or 10 or 20 years down the road.
00:06:47.500I see guys who hang on to this idea that my dad wasn't around and that's why I'm not successful except for they're 40 years old.
00:06:53.200I hear from guys who have faulty relationships with their wives or even an ex-wife that happened two decades ago or they're hanging on to this idea of a bad president or the bad economy or an old boss.
00:07:08.160Guys, at some point, just let the excuse expire.
00:07:12.240At some point, you've got to say to yourself, I'm to blame here.
00:07:25.100As difficult as it is to say I'm inadequate, as hard as it is to say that it's nobody else's fault but my own, that becomes the framework for growth and expansion and all of the wonderful things that you want to achieve in your life.
00:08:29.340She would tell you there's things that she needed to work on as well.
00:08:32.060But because I let that excuse expire and I decided to focus on the one thing that I could focus on, which was myself, or the one thing I could control, I should say, which was myself, that's when I noticed progress.
00:09:39.660If you are struggling and the reason you say you're struggling is because there's not a gym near you, what you did is you just gave away any power you had to do something about it.
00:09:52.320You told yourself, even subconsciously, that because there's not a gym around, I can't get into shape.
00:09:58.380Well, most of us listening would not believe that.
00:10:01.060And yet it's amazing how often so many of us say things like that.
00:10:04.960So an excuse, although it may be valid, there may not be a gym near you.
00:12:09.220I want you to look at your important relationships.
00:12:12.440Those relationships could be with your wife, could be even potentially with an ex-wife, with your friends and your buddies and your band of brothers.
00:14:42.760What is everything that I'm telling myself that's keeping me from achieving the level of success that I desire?
00:14:47.760And for every single one of those reasons or excuses, I want you to come up with a plan of action that actually overcomes or compensates or negates any of those excuses.
00:15:37.300Second step, look at where you're falling short and come up with all the reasons and all the excuses and all the baggage and all the things that you're telling yourself as to why you're not achieving that level of success.
00:16:16.700Even if it's uncomfortable, boys, on the other hand, children, youth, adolescents, what they do is they hide and they run and they cower and they cover their eyes and they get scared and they never want to address these things because they're tough and they're difficult and they're scary.
00:16:33.360At some point, if you're going to be a man, you've got to let your excuses expire.
00:16:37.500And the first thing you need to do is recognize that it's there, recognize that you've been using it as a crutch, recognizing that maybe, just maybe, it's no longer valid in your life because you're a grown man.
00:16:49.720And then come up with a strategy for actually addressing it.
00:17:06.220In the areas in which you fall short, when you're grading yourself, list out all of the excuses and reasons and scripts and everything else that you're telling yourself as to why you're not achieving success in that area.
00:17:17.780Some of those things will be more valid than others.
00:17:19.720And for every one of those excuses in every one of those three areas, you're going to create a plan of action that is going to help you compensate for and overcome that excuse.
00:17:35.140I will say it's not always easy because you've been programming this baggage and this nonsense in your head for potentially decades, but it's a very simple process.
00:17:49.000It requires you sitting down and taking some time and investing time in yourself and really thinking about what kind of man you are today, what kind of man you want to become, and then having a strategy for bridging that gap.
00:18:05.240All right, guys, like I said, fairly short, but it needed to be said.
00:18:10.440If you see that there's other men who are making excuses and who are not performing to the capacity and level they should, I would encourage you to share this movement, share this podcast, share the other podcasts that we've done, share our interviews, jump on social media at Ryan Mickler on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook, wherever you're doing the social media thing.
00:18:33.020I want to make this available to the billions of men across the planet who need to understand what it means to be a man.
00:18:40.160And I think the first part of that is exhibiting a little courage, a little mental fortitude, a little maturity in realizing that at some point you've got to outgrow those excuses.
00:18:50.640You've got to think beyond those things.
00:18:52.560You've got to act beyond those things.
00:18:54.180And as you do, you will become a more capable and a more successful man.
00:18:59.120So I'll leave you guys there for the weekend.