Order of Man - LEX ROBINSON ｜ Producing Peak Performance

00:00:00.000 All of us know there's gas left in the tank of our own personal performance, and yet with all

00:00:04.600 of the tasks and responsibilities that we bear, the distractions that we need to overcome, and

00:00:09.980 our own ability to deceive ourselves, it's challenging to meet the bare minimum at times,

00:00:14.880 let alone go above and beyond. So then how exactly do we excel and produce the lives that we desire

00:00:21.380 for ourselves and for our families? Well, my guest today has the answers. His name is Lex Robinson,

00:00:26.860 and he is a peak performance coach and mentor. Today we talk about his concepts of calendar

00:00:32.900 worship, his power down process, and what it means to engage in religious unitasking. We also discuss

00:00:41.320 the benefits of learning how to communicate directly with people, removing unimportant

00:00:46.020 distractions from our lives, getting clarity on what we truly desire, and so much more.

00:00:51.660 You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest. Embrace your fears and boldly charge

00:00:56.360 your own path. When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time, every time. You

00:01:01.940 are not easily deterred or defeated, rugged, resilient, strong. This is your life. This

00:01:08.220 is who you are. This is who you will become at the end of the day, and after all is said

00:01:13.280 and done, you can call yourself a man.

00:01:16.280 Gentlemen, what is going on today? My name is Ryan Mickler. I'm your host and the founder

00:01:19.960 of the Order of Man podcast and movement. Welcome here. Welcome back. Guys, we are winding

00:01:25.480 down the year. It's December 18th or 19th, I believe, as the release of this podcast.

00:01:31.120 I can't believe how quickly this year has gone, and it's been a whirlwind for me. A lot of

00:01:36.220 things have changed in my own personal dynamic, much of my own doing, but we're moving forward,

00:01:41.480 and I know you guys are as well. I hear from you every day with the challenges and obstacles

00:01:45.340 and hurdles that you're overcoming, and I'm honored and a bit humbled to be part of the

00:01:50.460 journey with you. And if you are new, that's exactly what we're doing here, guys, giving

00:01:53.700 you tools and resources, guidance, direction. In fact, I want this to be, if it isn't already,

00:01:59.340 I think we can continue to do better. I want this to be the premier podcast for men, the

00:02:05.400 tools, conversations, resources, guidance, direction, insight, brotherhood, coaching,

00:02:09.920 accountability, et cetera, et cetera. So you're a big part of what we do here. I would not be

00:02:14.020 able to do it without you. I'm going to get to our guest very quickly, but I do want to

00:02:18.060 mention today that our exclusive brotherhood, the Iron Council is back. It's officially back

00:02:23.380 and open for business, meaning that you can enroll until the beginning of the new year.

00:02:28.760 I think we're going to open it up until January 7th, I believe is the date, January 7th, maybe

00:02:34.100 the 8th, whatever that Sunday is. And we're going to leave it open until then to make it

00:02:39.680 available as you're thinking about 2024 and what you want it to look like and your news or

00:02:44.300 new year's resolutions and all the things you're thinking about that you would want to

00:02:48.220 accomplish over the next 12 months. We've got it inside the brotherhood, the Iron Council.

00:02:52.980 You can check it out at order of man.com slash Iron Council. All right, guys, let me introduce

00:02:58.100 you to my guest. Speaking of Iron Council, I met this man through our organization. His name

00:03:02.400 is Lex Robinson. He's become a very good friend, somewhat of a mentor and coach to me as well.

00:03:08.820 And he's helped thousands and thousands of other men. He's a military veteran. He's a seasoned

00:03:13.760 executive leader. He's also the founder of the Vero's group. And truly he stands at the forefront

00:03:19.200 of personal and professional development. His mission is to guide men on the path to unlocking

00:03:25.240 their highest potential. He's a mentor, he's a speaker, he's a peak performance coach,

00:03:30.720 and his leadership experience is complimented by his dedication to empowering others, myself included.

00:03:37.680 So whether he's sharing insights as a speaker or providing training and coaching for peak performance

00:03:43.480 or even offering mentorship to individuals and companies, Lex believes in the untapped

00:03:50.160 capabilities within everyone just sitting there waiting to be unleashed. Gentlemen, enjoy this one.

00:03:57.320 Lex, what's up, brother? So great to see you. We interact just about every day. And I figured

00:04:01.000 it's about time to let everybody else hear the wisdom of Mr. Lex Robinson, for better or worse.

00:04:07.140 Right on, right on. Yeah, exactly. For better or worse, right? Wisdom, I guess, is in the eye of

00:04:12.420 the beholder sometimes. So no, it's good to hook up and have this conversation today.

00:04:17.980 I will say one of the things that I admire most about you is your communication style. And I think

00:04:23.400 it resonates with a lot of people. We live in a world that is pretty soft and wishy-washy around

00:04:30.460 conversations that need to be had, especially amongst men that actually want to improve and get better.

00:04:36.280 And I'm curious about your style of communication, which I think is a little bit more direct than

00:04:42.260 most people are accustomed to. Is that something that you're always just a direct person? Or is

00:04:47.000 that something you deliberately do as you're talking with men and holding these guys accountable?

00:04:52.220 Yeah, that's a great question, man. I mean, I'm going to say yes and yes.

00:04:56.380 Okay.

00:04:56.820 To both of those. My trained style, I guess, over life is such that I've found

00:05:02.600 much more incredible value in being as direct as possible with people. And of course, you've seen

00:05:10.900 me speak to guys directly one-on-one and obviously in groups. And that is a lot of times on purpose.

00:05:17.480 And it's orchestrated to try to get men or an individual, not necessarily in a shock state,

00:05:24.420 but in one that allows them to start thinking about something differently.

00:05:27.740 And it can come across fairly direct, fairly rough. I mean, at times. But honestly, I do the same

00:05:34.060 thing within my corporate work and within my leadership roles, not to be harsh, but to be

00:05:40.380 direct and move people forward as quickly as possible. I will tell you that there are times

00:05:45.640 being that assertive has its own challenges.

00:05:49.240 What would you say are the challenges? Because I tend to be more of a direct communicator as well.

00:05:53.700 And I think there's probably, if I were to guess, most of the men listening probably aren't as

00:06:00.520 assertive as they would like to be. And maybe they have some fears around some of the challenges

00:06:06.840 that come with being that direct. So I'm curious what those are.

00:06:11.200 Yeah. So I'm going to go back to really holding up your end of the conversation because it's a two-party

00:06:17.900 thing by listening and in meeting the person that you're conversing with or mentoring or coaching

00:06:25.620 or leading where they are. So you have to understand where someone is. And I think then that that allows

00:06:31.400 you to gauge, I don't want to say level of directness, but the type of directness that you

00:06:37.640 present to someone. And sometimes that can be softer, for lack of a better word. Sometimes it needs

00:06:43.960 to be harder, but you have to base that on where that person is. Are they in a receptive place?

00:06:50.200 Are they in a place where you need to shake them out of whatever they're stuck in? And I think that

00:06:54.280 requires really being in the moment, really paying attention, really listening and seeking to

00:06:58.520 understand that person or that group of individuals and what the challenges are that they're facing

00:07:03.820 in that particular moment. And then that allows you to apply the right level of

00:07:08.840 push if that's, if that's what you're after. Sure. Um, so I think, I think a big key to that

00:07:15.280 is that patience and listening and, and being willing to hear, but not necessarily adopt someone

00:07:22.020 else's mindset, right? So I'm going to, if, if someone's coming to me saying, I want your thoughts

00:07:27.840 on, I want to learn how to think differently about something. I owe them the truth from my perspective.

00:07:34.180 And sometimes that, that can feel harsh to others because it can be shocking and not that there are

00:07:40.060 multiple truths. I like, I don't want to get stuck in that conversation, but perspectives, um, are

00:07:45.680 probably the most valuable for, for men and really anyone differing perspectives on how to think about

00:07:51.960 a topic, how to approach a challenge. And that that's really, I think the focus of the assertiveness

00:07:57.400 that I try to provide to others. What is it that you're looking for when you're, you talk about

00:08:04.020 finding out where people are and what they might be dealing with. Are there certain words or phrases

00:08:10.280 that people are using or mannerisms or tone about the way they talk that might help you see this is

00:08:16.020 somebody who's in a really vulnerable position or somebody who's really ready to hear or, or get a 0.88

00:08:21.780 punch, a proverbial punch in the face. Yeah. And I think, you know, it, it is tone. 0.93

00:08:26.740 You can hear if you, if you seek to listen, you can hear the tone in someone's voice,

00:08:31.260 you can see in their physical demeanor. I think it's, you know, people will argue about the numbers,

00:08:36.560 but 70 or 80% of, of communication is, is kind of your physical approach. So if somebody's coming

00:08:44.600 at me and their eyes are down and they're downcast and they have that soft voice going on, that's

00:08:49.880 probably the time to uplift them a little bit and say, what's going on. You need to talk so I can talk

00:08:54.780 back to you. If a guy comes in and I have really strong men do this to me and I, and I love it when

00:09:00.820 they do it, because this is the way I always come in or generally do. I'll come in very strong and

00:09:07.040 very, I don't know, adamant or, or direct about what I think and believe. And then that, that's the

00:09:13.640 type of situation in which you need to say, are you sure? You sure about that? Cause I don't think

00:09:20.180 so. And, and, and that you can just kind of see, I think to your point in general tone or,

00:09:25.220 or physical demeanor approach in a, in a conversation, you can get a sense if you're

00:09:31.100 working in groups and you're in a corporate space, for example, and you understand that,

00:09:36.140 that the meeting you're about to have is to overcome a challenge, then, then set your tone

00:09:41.360 appropriate to that. If your meeting is to go talk to an employee or an associate that's struggling

00:09:47.720 to perform, that's a discovery opportunity versus maybe a leading opportunity and pulling things out

00:09:53.960 of people versus maybe pushing some things into their awareness. So I think all of that understanding

00:09:58.680 the situation is really critical to doing it. Well, I would never suggest I do it well all the time,

00:10:04.480 but that's, that's generally the attempt that I'm trying to put in place.

00:10:10.680 I see a lot of guys adopt what we're talking about, that they want to be more assertive.

00:10:16.160 They want to be more direct. They want to be more clear in their communication, which I think is,

00:10:19.620 is worthy of pursuing, but I've seen a lot of men take it to the extreme and it becomes that zero F's

00:10:25.840 mentality where they just almost like Tourette's just blurt out whatever they're thinking in any given

00:10:31.060 moment, regardless of how it might impact somebody else. And they think they're a tough

00:10:34.380 guy because they do it that way. And to me, that's not leadership. That's actually, actually

00:10:38.600 very immature. Um, are, are there ways that we should evaluate when and how to say something

00:10:46.000 versus, Hey, this is not my time and place to even open my app, my mouth or share my opinion.

00:10:51.600 Cause I know there's times where I just choose to be quiet and it does serve me when I do and think

00:10:58.360 about it that way. Yeah. Yeah. I, I think again, I'll circle back to it's, it's

00:11:04.180 understanding where your audience is or where an individual is to meet them, to meet them where

00:11:10.000 they're at. Um, there are, you know, there are questions to ask yourself before you speak,

00:11:16.820 which I'm not, I don't always do it. Sometimes I just blurt things out too. Right. But it's,

00:11:21.740 it's, is what I'm going to say potentially of any value to the person I'm speaking with

00:11:26.800 or am I, and this requires a level of self-awareness or am I just in a place where I'm,

00:11:34.120 where I am going to blurt out whatever, because I'm still frustrated. I'm still struggling to

00:11:38.540 learn how to communicate with a person. Right. I think this is a, it's a huge in terms of conflict

00:11:43.440 and personal relationships. You, you don't really understand that person. So you have to step back

00:11:48.160 and understand yourself a little bit. What state am I in? Am I in a state that's even one that's,

00:11:53.740 that's positive. Like, regardless of the level of assertiveness that comes in, there's an

00:11:58.840 underlying intention of either I want to exert dominance or I want to add value. And I think

00:12:04.780 there's a time for each one, you know, if you're, if you're a military man with experience, there's

00:12:09.620 a time you just need to exert dominance. Sure. Go do this, this, this, that that's like direct

00:12:16.280 assertive. And then, and then there's a time to step back and say, well, what is the right plan?

00:12:20.720 Yeah. You give me your thoughts, your thoughts, your thoughts, and then, and then try to bring

00:12:24.860 all of that in. I don't know if that directly answered your question, but those are the types

00:12:28.740 of things that come to mind for me in terms of skills that you, you have to develop. If you don't

00:12:34.200 develop those skills, that ability to understand where you're even coming from, you can, you can

00:12:38.880 drop right into, I'm just going to force feed this in to go a little further. I think I've done that

00:12:45.660 in the past. I mean, we all, we all mature over time because I don't feel in control of

00:12:52.620 a situation or I'm fearful of a situation and I want to try to force an outcome I'm comfortable

00:12:58.820 with. And, and you have to, you have to get comfortable with the discomfort. You have to

00:13:04.060 get comfortable following others leads and letting go of some of that, that control. And that,

00:13:11.360 that I think requires some level of maturity to, to be able to obtain that and not just

00:13:19.200 overrun other people with.

00:13:21.520 I also think, I mean, I agree with everything you're saying. I also think it's a place of

00:13:26.720 ego or arrogance when, when you see people grandstand like this. And I, I used to do it a lot more

00:13:32.320 than I do now, but it was, it became more about me than it did about the other person. And I've

00:13:39.680 realized that when I, the other person is the emphasis of, of what I'm trying to communicate,

00:13:44.320 it comes across for lack of a better term, softer, more, more empathetic, or I'll say it this way,

00:13:51.840 more appropriate because like you said, sometimes it's soft, sometimes it's more direct,

00:13:56.760 but it's appropriate for the circumstance.

00:13:58.960 Yeah. Yeah. And that's, it simply means you're paying attention. I agree with you 100%. And,

00:14:03.920 and it really is. And, and this will hurt some guys feelings, but that's okay. It's a maturity thing.

00:14:10.320 You grow into understanding that, right? After you destroy enough relationships

00:14:15.200 with, with, with, with overdoing it, with pushing too hard, um, you'll learn that it doesn't work long

00:14:23.680 term. It, it, it, it just doesn't, it doesn't work in business. It doesn't work in personal life.

00:14:29.120 Um, at least if you value the relationship or the relationships that you're developing with the

00:14:34.400 people that you're with in a conversation in a moment, uh, if you actually value them,

00:14:39.200 you'll step back and reflect on how that comes across. And, and I honestly think,

00:14:43.040 you know, when, when you originally asked that question, the, the zero F's mentality is one that

00:14:50.720 that's pushed really hard right now. It has been for a long time. And, and I think I've seen a few

00:14:56.400 people point to this and I can't name names, but I know there's, there's smart people in the world

00:15:01.280 that said, no, it's not about zero. It's about giving an F about the things that actually matter.

00:15:06.320 Right. The right thing. And, and that's, that's removal of distractions of things that aren't even

00:15:11.960 important for you to really be worried about right now. And that's a huge part of, you know,

00:15:17.300 kind of our overall topic, which I know we'll get into, but for me, it's less about not caring about

00:15:23.360 anything or how you come across. It's literally about caring about what's important and what truly

00:15:28.920 matters to you. Yeah. I'm right. I'm taking notes. Cause every time I have a guest on them, I take,

00:15:34.440 I have hundreds and hundreds of pages of notes and like, I get so much value from doing this.

00:15:40.380 You know, one thing I was thinking too about this and I've observed this in you, like I'm an observer

00:15:45.640 of people. I've observed this in you and things that I see like, oh, that works or that doesn't

00:15:49.480 work. Like I'd rather learn it from somebody else than learn the hard way and have to experiment

00:15:52.900 myself. But you're, you're not always vocal, but when you are, it's powerful. And I think the

00:15:59.920 principle there, at least this is what I gleaned from it is that your silence can actually make

00:16:07.340 your voice can actually amplify your voice when you speak up. Yeah. Yeah. I, you know, I'll,

00:16:17.540 I'll be really open about this. This, this, that's a tactic I learned first. So I learned it as a

00:16:25.920 tactic and, and I learned it in, in reading about, um, George Washington. How does a guy who's,

00:16:35.160 you know, six foot, a little bit awkward, maybe not the best statesman, maybe not the best military

00:16:42.600 leader, maybe not the best politician end up being the first president of the United States. And why

00:16:48.640 does everybody follow that person? Washington, one of Washington's principles that he put into play was

00:16:56.380 speaking last. And when I, when I learned that tactic, it opened up a whole new world for me

00:17:02.720 because it forced me into that listening position. And to your point, it gave me the most power because

00:17:06.900 now I had the most information with which I could say the smartest thing. That was literally what I was

00:17:12.620 thinking in the beginning of my career. And it's how I advanced a lot of my career is having the

00:17:17.240 patients to listen in here and say, that's a good idea. That's a good one. That one sucks.

00:17:22.300 What can I add to this conversation and bringing it together? And what I found over time is 0.99

00:17:26.320 he who speaks last is what everybody remembers walking out of a room, walking out of a meeting,

00:17:32.300 walking out of a conference and, and all the other, all the others, I don't want to say smaller

00:17:37.820 because I don't want to diminish conversation in general, but making the last point and making it a

00:17:43.000 good point is, is number one, how you get noticed in your career. Number two, is how you really,

00:17:49.440 it's how you really add to a conversation, true value and create value for others. And so that

00:17:54.500 tactic is one that I just learned a long time ago through reading about the first president.

00:18:02.340 And it's, it's something that I've deployed on purpose for three or four decades.

00:18:08.460 Yeah. That's interesting. I, I see that even in the, uh, the iron council on our Friday calls.

00:18:13.220 So for example, we open it up to have everybody talk and have conversations. And usually when,

00:18:19.180 when somebody makes a point, not usually all the time, when somebody makes a point,

00:18:22.400 like it always gets turned back over to me as the moderator of the discussion.

00:18:25.300 So I get to expand on that point or say, Hey, you know, we appreciate it. Or if I think of

00:18:29.900 something else in addition to it, and then there's that credibility that is transferred in a way from

00:18:37.340 whoever spoke to, like you said, the last person, not only do you get the credibility of their

00:18:41.680 statement, but you also get whatever you have to add. As long as it's not idiotic, you have the benefit 0.99

00:18:48.400 of adding something additional. Yeah. Because you can take away from that, what that person said too, 1.00

00:18:53.000 if you say something dumb. Right. So absolutely. Absolutely. And, and, you know, one of the things 0.99

00:18:57.480 I learned from you, and I want to give you credit from this because you're one of the few people that

00:19:00.900 actually gives me direct feedback, right. Cause was you're like, Hey man, step back and give people

00:19:07.520 credit where they need credit. Like in a conversation, I'm like, yeah, I think I was at a point when you

00:19:13.100 told me that, that I wasn't actually listening to other people and I was being dismissive. And it was

00:19:17.700 important for me to hear that and come back to, you know, what, what someone just said probably

00:19:24.340 deserves some recognition and to be able to call that out. And so if it's an individual, when you're

00:19:30.540 in a meeting, so I think that was a really great idea. Can we expand on it? That, that not only gives

00:19:35.660 you credibility as somebody who can see what might work, but it gives credibility to the person you're

00:19:40.260 kind of calling forward. It makes them a better partner. It makes them, you know, a better

00:19:46.500 associate, whatever the case may be. And so giving credit where credit is due, I think is a huge

00:19:51.320 part of that. How do you, how do you approach that assertiveness at the end of a conversation

00:19:57.000 or the value add? And sometimes it's just recognizing somebody else's value.

00:20:01.680 It's also, I found that, you know, outside of the fact that it will serve them and make them feel

00:20:06.360 good about it, but it's also, cause we're looking at a tactical view of this communication style.

00:20:11.320 It's also a very endearing quality and it garners influence with people. So if I have you on the

00:20:18.780 podcast and I talk about all the wonderful things you did and all these great things that you did,

00:20:22.800 man, you feel better about me. Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. And it's a gift.

00:20:29.560 Like recognition of other people is a gift. You're, you're gifting them. Hey, I see you.

00:20:34.400 I hear you. You have value. And, and what that really does to an individual, I know it does it

00:20:41.320 to me is it makes me want to give more value in the end. And, and that's, that's the essence of,

00:20:46.780 I think, bringing, bringing your own personal sovereignty into the notion of teamwork and

00:20:51.340 expanding it beyond just the individual state is that once, once you understand the gift you're

00:20:56.760 giving through that type of thing and the empowerment that you're providing to others, the stronger

00:21:01.260 an entire unit becomes. Yeah. You, you said something interesting. You said, it's not about

00:21:08.940 it, or you, you talked about removing the distractions of unimportant things, you know,

00:21:14.100 in your, in your communication style, you're going to learn what you should focus on, what's worthy of

00:21:18.720 talking about, what's worthy of conversation and what isn't make your voice more powerful, all the

00:21:22.620 things that you've talked about. But it's also a, a big element of the work that you do,

00:21:29.140 which is getting into this flow state, getting into an environment where you're, you're producing

00:21:35.820 at a high volume on important things. Talk about how that principle applies to getting yourself in

00:21:42.100 flow or the groove or whatever you choose to call it. Sure. So I think, so I'll talk about a few things

00:21:48.300 with that, right? So removal of distractions, this is a general term, particularly in today's world is

00:21:54.020 what, is what allows you to focus. And without focus, you're not going to perform well at whatever

00:21:58.960 it is you're doing, even if that's just listening to another person, right? There, there are other

00:22:03.500 things that lend themselves to that, like clarity. So I can't speak well or assertively or succinctly,

00:22:10.120 if I'm not really clear on, on what are we talking about? What's your challenge? What's your issue?

00:22:15.740 So there's, there's this notion of, if you want to develop higher performance, peak performance

00:22:21.500 in flow states, this idea of clarity, being really clear on what you're talking about, being really

00:22:26.560 real about it has a ton of value. Because once, once you're clear on that, you can now remove

00:22:31.740 everything that doesn't deal with that particular thing. Whether, whether that's, whether that's a

00:22:36.620 broad scope strategy that you're trying to approach a business with, whether that's an individual task

00:22:42.040 you're trying to work on, gaining that level of clarity and focus is what allows you to say all

00:22:46.780 these other things are not important to getting this thing done because I said, or somebody else

00:22:52.060 has handed me a task. This is important. I need to get this done. And that's, that's really where

00:22:57.060 that, that distraction removal comes into play. And as you know, you know, in today's, you've heard

00:23:03.220 me say this, get rid of the social media, get rid of all the stuff that just drags you in and blows

00:23:08.800 your time out of the water because that's a distraction. That's the thing you should give

00:23:12.700 zero Fs about that's pulling you away. Um, whatever's pulling you away from your most

00:23:18.640 important relationships, that's, that's worth getting rid of. These things are all distractions

00:23:23.760 to you performing at the level you want to perform at as a man or as an individual. And if you don't

00:23:30.240 get them out of your line of sight, if you don't get them out of mind, you're wasting brain space,

00:23:35.540 literally on things that don't matter. And now you can't perform as well, cognitively,

00:23:42.120 biologically, or however, however you would want to break it down. So I think that that's where

00:23:46.480 this idea of removal of distractions is a big deal, particularly in today's world.

00:23:51.640 There's a lot to be distracted by right now. How many things do you think, maybe this is too

00:23:57.380 general of a question. Maybe it's not even a fair question, but how many things do you think

00:24:00.660 people can focus on? Like I think about my own life, for example, I focus on the business and

00:24:05.860 career, obviously. Um, I focus on, uh, my family and friends and I focus on a few of my own hobbies,

00:24:16.460 hunting exercise, right? That's about, and, and I would add also some spiritual element to that as

00:24:24.420 well. Um, and that's about it for me. I, I don't know if that's too much, too little. I don't know if

00:24:29.340 that's the right amount. I don't know. Like, how do you find that balance between all the things that

00:24:33.360 demand our time and attention? So I'm going to cheat my answer a little bit.

00:24:40.140 Okay. And say, I, there probably, there, there is, there is an idea of too much,

00:24:45.800 which you can recognize by, I'll put it this way. The moment you think you're burning out,

00:24:52.740 you're burned out, right? You just, you just now noticed it. But the moment, again, the moment you

00:25:02.340 notice, you think you might be burning out, you're burned out. Now you've got too much on the plate.

00:25:07.380 And the focus question for me, I would take it two levels. One is when you reach that point,

00:25:13.940 you need to go back and define what's, what's actually important right now. And then the other

00:25:19.340 level is you can do all of those things, but the key to the focus is to be focused in the moment

00:25:24.920 that you're doing them. It's doing one thing at a time. There's in the way that I was taught,

00:25:31.980 it's, we just refer to it as religious unit asking. You can go after a lot of goals in life. Now I would

00:25:39.580 suggest there's probably some really big ones that people shy away from that. I try to target them

00:25:44.560 towards it to say, that's the thing. That's the thing. Your purpose is here to deliver. So go do

00:25:49.600 it. So that, that requires all of your focus, but at the day by day level.

00:25:57.940 And at the step, what do you mean by that? So I'll back up into like, so where I start with,

00:26:03.320 with guys that come into the virus group is I want to know what it is you're not doing because you

00:26:08.160 think it's impossible or too hard that matters to you. And then it's a matter of simply reverse

00:26:15.000 engineering. What are the steps to get there? That requires a level of focus to understand where

00:26:21.700 can you deliver value? How can you deliver value? How quickly do you think you can deliver value,

00:26:26.480 which we all think we can do faster than we actually can, by the way, it's, it's, it's being

00:26:31.060 focused enough to be able to break all of that down. And then it's, well, what's, what's the roadmap

00:26:37.380 and what are the steps? You know, the old, the old adage around how do you eat an elephant? It's

00:26:42.020 one bite at a time. So what's the right next bite and how do I do it? And it's being able to focus all

00:26:47.320 the way down at that level that allows you to reach for those huge things over time. Right. And it's

00:26:55.960 within that, like, I don't want to say like, that's the only thing you've, you focus on within that's

00:27:02.360 this ability to care for yourself mentally, physically, cognitively, and structuring yourself

00:27:08.780 and your lifestyle in a way that allows you to do that in chunks. That's essentially what a lot

00:27:14.540 of our training is. What is it that's really critically important? What's, what's the big

00:27:19.740 thing? Because if you have no dream, you're going to die inside the older you get. I'm just going to

00:27:24.480 be really blunt about that. We can, we can teach men how to be men, how to be responsible. What does

00:27:29.920 it mean to be a man, you know, to protect, to provide, to do all of these things. But then

00:27:34.820 there's this, what are you going to do with all that? What value are you going to bring? And that

00:27:38.840 makes a lot of people uncomfortable because, and I'll stick with men, it makes a lot of younger men 0.59

00:27:42.900 uncomfortable because they're still trying to figure out how to be a man and they have to know that

00:27:46.440 that's fine. Learn how to be a man, learn how to be responsible, learn about the things that are

00:27:53.340 important to you in life while you're younger so that you can take all of that learning and what's useful

00:27:57.880 and apply it to actually making a huge difference. I am one of those people, which this surprises a

00:28:03.160 lot of guys that, that know me a little bit, but not really well. I believe in doing the impossible.

00:28:07.600 I believe in being world changing. I think we can improve society. We can improve the world as a

00:28:15.240 whole if we choose to go after those targets, but because we feel less skilled in doing so,

00:28:20.420 because we're not taught how to do so, we shy away from it because it seems too hard.

00:28:25.860 It's not daunting, right? It's, it's, it's any daunting task can be broken down into, well,

00:28:32.380 what's next, man. I'm going to step away from the conversation very briefly. I mentioned this

00:28:38.320 earlier as we roll into 2024, I'd have you consider that you might be missing the single greatest

00:28:44.300 factor in your own personal development. And that is, believe it or not, a brotherhood. I've seen

00:28:50.500 way too many men stumble and fumble and bumble their way through life, man. I've been there myself,

00:28:56.260 but it doesn't have to be this way. And the best way to overcome and tackle whatever life has to

00:29:01.740 throw at you are the tools to do the job and ultimately men in your corner who are going to

00:29:08.280 help you and hold you to task. And that's where the iron council comes into play. So when you band with

00:29:13.840 us, you're going to gain access to over 1100 men inside the brotherhood who are all working together

00:29:19.580 on their own personal goals and want to help you work on yours. So if you're ready to band with

00:29:27.260 high caliber men, all working to improve their own lives, improve their circumstances, get better,

00:29:34.020 do better. And again, your life as well, then join us inside the iron council at order of man.com

00:29:39.880 slash iron council. Again, that's order man.com slash iron council guys get on it quick. We'd

00:29:46.820 love to see you inside. Uh, you can do that right after the show for now. Let's get back to it with

00:29:51.140 Lex. But on that, I think the, the risk or not the risk, but the challenge in that we'll use the

00:29:57.740 eating the elephant, for example. Yeah. One, one bite at a time, but after a few bites, the elephant

00:30:04.080 becomes kind of gross. Like you don't want to take another bite of the elephant. And I think

00:30:09.840 a lot of the times we forget what the end goal is because we're so focused on the mundane

00:30:14.980 monotonous and it does like going to the gym every day, unless you're one of these guys who,

00:30:19.060 I don't know, just finds tremendous value and just being there and loves it at some point.

00:30:23.340 It's like, Oh, again, yep. Again, how do you overcome that when you're in the trenches of

00:30:30.140 monotony towards your desired objective? Yeah. Yeah. You know, and you know, I'll answer that with,

00:30:36.800 with what you hear a lot in the men's movement over the last decade, right? There's this whole

00:30:41.280 notion of, of defining why you want to do something. And I think that that's a good start,

00:30:46.120 but I, I don't think it's enough. I'll work on, I'll work on that typically for myself and with

00:30:53.160 other people around purpose, creating a massive transformative purpose as a term. And that,

00:30:59.380 that purpose has to be developed from what drives you intrinsically, not extrinsically.

00:31:04.180 What that means is go create a list of what you think would make the world a better place.

00:31:11.340 What could be improved? What could be better? And then go make another list of what skills do I have

00:31:16.860 to apply to any problem solving, to creative problem solving, and then mash those things together

00:31:22.060 and find yourself where your skills align with something that would have a positive impact.

00:31:27.460 And you do that from an internal perspective. And I mean, you've probably, you've probably seen me

00:31:34.740 make fun of as our term, but I pushed back on guys that do like whatever the latest program is,

00:31:40.360 because they just want to do it because now that's, it's like own little achievement.

00:31:44.040 Yeah. So like dieting, right? Like it's just, that can provide you some value as well,

00:31:50.700 I overcame a challenge, but overcoming challenges is only one part of massive success. You have to

00:31:57.340 do that every day. And so that's, that's training a habit. And so the idea of intrinsic motivation

00:32:02.980 means you've taken the time to sit down with yourself and say, well, what is it that bothers

00:32:07.940 me? What is it I want to improve? What is it I really want to achieve?

00:32:13.600 And then combining that with your skills and saying, I'm going to take these things that I know

00:32:17.820 how to do, or I'm going to improve these things that I know how to do. And I'm going to apply them

00:32:21.140 to this problem over my lifetime. And that, that then becomes the driver for the long-term,

00:32:31.380 the long-term purpose, which I view very differently than goals. And I, you know, I hate the semantics

00:32:38.600 of conversations sometimes, but a goal is just a milepost along the way of my whole existence and my

00:32:46.360 whole life. It's just another chapter. It's another piece. It's another part.

00:32:49.240 Well, I think it's, it's like a, like a football game. The goal is, they call it a goal. You

00:32:54.380 literally score a touchdown, but the purpose is to win the ball game.

00:32:58.760 Is to win the game. That's right.

00:33:00.800 And you have to score in order to win, but scoring in and of itself is not the final objective.

00:33:06.560 Cause if the other team scores more than you, you could have scored, but you still didn't win.

00:33:10.820 Exactly. Exactly. And you can score a shit ton, pardon me, and still not win. This is why you

00:33:19.080 see guys that make millions, billions, and they're miserable. They're not actually winning.

00:33:23.820 They're, they're scoring points, but they're getting outscored in their relationships with

00:33:30.760 their families, with their wives, with other people. They're alone. Um, perhaps they're scoring

00:33:36.520 points in a game they don't even want to be playing in. Right. And that's, that lack of

00:33:41.700 fulfillment comes into play because we're being driven an awful lot by external motivators and

00:33:49.720 external drivers and what society tells us is important and good. And there is value in a lot

00:33:55.360 of what we've shared traditionally, you know, throughout human existence as important. But if

00:34:00.320 you can't step back as an individual man and define what actually is important to you,

00:34:04.940 like, if you can't go ask for what you want, like this, it takes me back to some of my biblical

00:34:10.340 roots asking you shall receive. If you can't ask for what you want and put that into the world and

00:34:16.360 work on that thing, you're not going to get what you want. You're not going to be fulfilled

00:34:20.940 because you're not even working on the thing that makes you feel.

00:34:23.860 Or if you, you might even have it and not even realize you have it because you haven't identified

00:34:29.920 it. And a lot of people fall, a lot of men fall into that trap where they have this wonderful life,

00:34:35.100 but they fall into the trap of the grass is greener on the other side. Maybe they pursue business when,

00:34:39.960 you know, maybe they had what they really wanted in front of them the whole time, but they never took

00:34:45.080 any time to think about it. And so they're out pursuing something that's irrelevant and meaningless in

00:34:48.940 the grand scheme of things. Right. That's exactly right. And so, so I'll use my

00:34:53.800 self as an example of that. Um, I love, I love my side. I love coaching. I love training. I love

00:35:00.680 doing all of those things, but I also have a career. Now I've structured my career. My success

00:35:06.280 comes from, from being an entrepreneurial mindset in a corporate world, right? So these, these things

00:35:14.520 aren't mutually exclusive. And what I've done is I've been able to create a work environment and it's

00:35:20.620 taken me decades to do it. It takes time that allows me to fulfill my life in the way that I want to

00:35:26.080 be fulfilled, to spend time with my family, to spend time with my son. I stopped one type of work and

00:35:32.160 started doing another. And it's easier that way. Like I don't think about my work as hard. I think

00:35:39.480 about this, my work facilitate what I want, right? That's, that's where I think a lot of other people

00:35:44.600 get some of this, some of this wrong. They think, well, I want to be a lawyer. I want to be a doctor.

00:35:51.320 Why do you want to do that? There's something that you're thinking you're going to get out of that.

00:35:54.780 That's going to fulfill you. And to be frank, if it's just money, well, any, any idiot can do that. 1.00

00:36:01.080 I'm living. You can do it a thousand different. You don't need to be a lawyer to make money. 1.00

00:36:04.700 Right. And there's a hundred different ways to do it. Right. So, so that in and of itself,

00:36:09.560 isn't the value add it's, it's what lifestyle are you trying to drive for yourself that fulfills you?

00:36:14.920 And that sounds selfish to a lot of people or some people never, to your point, even ask the

00:36:19.320 question, what do I want? I don't know, you know, for, for a guy that grows up in, in a rough

00:36:25.260 household, maybe he just, maybe he just wants a decent meal and a decent place to sleep. And that's

00:36:30.000 a great place to start. And once he secures that, it's like, well, now what do I want? And I think

00:36:34.520 sometimes we stop asking, you know, we reached this level of success. We're like, oh, I did it.

00:36:38.100 Now what? And I remember my father telling me, because I've, I've been blessed enough to be

00:36:44.900 successful at different stages in my life. And I remember asking my father, like, is that it? And

00:36:50.460 he said, yeah, that's it. When it comes to that kind of thing, that's it. And this was, this was

00:36:56.440 before I had a wife and a family. It was before I, I recognized I needed to provide value to other

00:37:02.460 people. And what he was trying to get across to me was there's more than there's more that you want

00:37:09.160 to give and do. And you've only done what you've done because society said that's success. That,

00:37:15.020 that was my first awakening to, yeah, that is all there is. If that's all I'm going to focus on,

00:37:21.180 that's a long circle all the way back to, you know, can you focus on too many things? No,

00:37:26.300 you can't, but you have to focus on what's the most important, what fulfills.

00:37:30.160 Yeah. Yeah. I was going to go back to that, that football analogy that we were using in the goal.

00:37:36.840 The other thing I've seen people do is, and we talked a little bit about this,

00:37:40.360 they're doing these movements and they feel like they're productive, but then they look back and

00:37:45.080 they're like, I was busy, but what did I get done? And I would, if we're using that analogy,

00:37:48.760 I would liken that to, again, on the football field, a running back, you know, getting the handoff,

00:37:54.240 getting open. And then before crossing the end zone, stopping, taking the football and kicking it

00:37:59.340 between the uprights, like, sure, I guess maybe you scored, but that doesn't count.

00:38:04.340 Like you're not getting any points for that. In fact, that's a fumble, maybe even a safety.

00:38:08.880 So, or not a safety, but a touchback. I'm not sure. I'm not even sure how you would score that.

00:38:14.800 Yeah. It would be interesting to see somebody do that. But I think that's what we do is like,

00:38:18.680 we think we're scoring and we're productive. We're not productive. We're busy,

00:38:21.640 but we're not productive. So my question is, how does a man begin to identify

00:38:27.660 the right plays, the right movements, the right activity, and then ultimately the right scoring

00:38:35.140 and the right winning? Man, that's a deep question. How do you begin to identify what

00:38:40.120 matters? Is that, is that another way? Well, I think that's it. I think two parts. So what

00:38:43.980 matters, I think maybe is the first part. Like, how do you identify? Cause a lot of guys are like,

00:38:47.280 I just want to make some more money and be happy and maybe have some sex every once in a while.

00:38:50.620 It's like, okay, well, I mean, you're not wrong, but I think we can do a little better than that.

00:38:54.860 Yeah. So I think that's what matters. And then the second question is the one I just first asked,

00:39:01.140 which is then how do you know the activity is leading to the desired result? Let's see if it's

00:39:06.260 a long game. Yeah. You, you, it requires thoughtfulness and planning. That's my really

00:39:11.020 short answer to that question. And so knowing, knowing what you want, boy, this, this will sound

00:39:18.100 the opposite of a lot of, of men's movement stuff, but that's okay. What do you enjoy? What do you

00:39:25.280 enjoy doing? What, what do you intrinsically feel good about doing? If you just sat with yourself

00:39:33.660 with nothing else going on for 30 minutes and thought, what would make my life feel great?

00:39:39.120 And I'm not talking about drugs and drinking and sex and whatever. Sure. Sure. I was going to judge

00:39:45.240 myself and say this, these things I would value having in my life just for the fact that they're

00:39:54.040 in my life. You don't really even need a reason why. And I know that's going to throw a lot of people

00:39:59.900 off because we talk about, well, it has to be important enough. Well, if it intrinsically came out

00:40:04.880 of you that you want a family and you want a family environment, do you really need to know

00:40:10.700 where that came from? Why? No. I mean, that's a natural human drive as an example. So, so I think

00:40:18.740 it's sitting with yourself and being thoughtful about what brings you joy, but that's another

00:40:23.880 word men don't use a lot. What actually brings you joy? What brings joy to your life? Are you engaged

00:40:29.220 with things enough to even know what brings joy to your life? I know as a, as a father and you're a

00:40:33.740 father and I've seen you talk about it, there's this really unique joy you get from those interactions

00:40:39.480 and being a father is a part of that. And I think if you sense that and that's something you want in

00:40:44.640 your life, then that's a fairly intrinsic motivator. So I think it's thoughtfulness of that

00:40:49.640 and saying, how do you get it is you plan, you plan for it and then you execute your plan. And I know

00:40:55.620 that sounds like a really simple way of, of laying that out. The trouble comes when we don't know how

00:41:03.460 to execute our plan. And we don't know what supports us being in a position to execute our

00:41:07.920 plan.

00:41:09.200 I think it's, I think it's before that though, isn't it? Like, I don't even think people know

00:41:13.840 how to discover and unpackage the planning process. Not like, yeah, we'll get to execution,

00:41:18.940 but I don't even think guys are planning anything.

00:41:21.100 No, no, they don't. Right. And the things that most of us do plan when we're younger may or may

00:41:28.080 not be the right thing. So it feels very haphazard. One guy seems to fill one guy seems

00:41:31.960 miserable and they're both millionaires. Right. So, so the planning part of it, I would agree with

00:41:37.260 you. I think we say, well, I'm going to go do that. And then we start down the road without the

00:41:41.580 map. Right. Like that's, that's, that's a man thing. Right. And we could do that because we're

00:41:49.020 action oriented and that's exactly what you want to be to make, to make things happen. But taking

00:41:55.380 the time to understand how exactly you're going to get from point A to point B means I don't really

00:42:00.580 need to map anymore because now I know, right. I'm, I'm going to draw or I could lose the map and I

00:42:05.560 could still be headed in the right direction. Right. And that's, that's the value of planning and

00:42:10.660 understanding the plan. And, and for me, we don't teach, this is where education falls apart for me.

00:42:17.020 I'm not as dramatically opposed to education as it's presented today, but we don't teach to your

00:42:22.300 point. We don't teach planning. We don't teach to say, this is my goal. What, what are the steps that

00:42:29.560 would get me to that goal? Now, how do I go about breaking that step down further and further and

00:42:35.060 further? And one of the things that, that we talk about in the training is continually breaking

00:42:41.200 things down because planning isn't like a one and done. It's, this is my, this is my high heart goal.

00:42:48.800 This is the goal. These are the steps that would get me to that goal. Okay. How do I, how do I do that

00:42:54.280 step? And do I have the skills to do that step? If not, let me make it a little bit smaller.

00:42:57.980 And that's a process that, and so I would say not only is it most guys don't plan to that level

00:43:03.840 of detail, but they don't do it every day, which is why we had the conversation around calendar

00:43:10.080 worship. And what are you doing today? Like most guys can't tell you now I've, I've luckily grown

00:43:15.120 up or maybe unluckily, I don't know. I've used like Microsoft outlook for 30 years. I've known exactly

00:43:21.700 what I'm doing tomorrow and I know when it's going to occur and what's going to happen. And I go in

00:43:26.220 literally at the end of the day, every day, this is my power down routine, four o'clock to five o'clock.

00:43:31.280 What's my calendar look like tomorrow? And you have to go to that level of detail and say,

00:43:35.540 do I need to put something else in there? Because this part of the plan didn't get done. It didn't

00:43:39.260 execute right. Do I need to change? And that idea of consistently evaluating where I'm at within the

00:43:44.360 plan and replanning and updating, I think is, is a solar skill that sits right underneath what you're

00:43:50.720 pointing at. It isn't a plan to just say, I'm going to go do it unless it's, I'm going to take

00:43:57.040 the garbage out and I walk upstairs and I take it out. Right. It's big things. Aren't that necessarily

00:44:02.620 that simple to go do. So you have to take the time to break that down.

00:44:08.040 Well, what you're saying about this power down process makes sense because a lot of the times

00:44:12.100 I've seen men who they'll have a plan, or at least they'll have some idea of what they should be

00:44:17.880 doing, but they won't do it because they don't know if it's perfect. And, and, and to me, I think,

00:44:23.940 okay, it doesn't need to be perfect. It just needs to be documented. And then you need to follow it

00:44:30.100 because if you do that, then you can do the power down process. I call it an after action review.

00:44:35.360 It sounds like you're calling it a power down process, similar things, right? Yeah. Where you

00:44:39.220 can go back and analyze that plan and say, okay, that didn't work, but at least now, you know what you

00:44:45.600 did and why it didn't work or what elements of it did work. So you can go back and create plan B

00:44:50.380 or not even plan B, I would say plan 2.0 that has elements of 1.0, but it's just a little bit

00:44:58.520 different based on the power down process and the feedback you received. Absolutely. Absolutely. And,

00:45:03.460 and so, so I'll give you a little finer distinction because I think you're right on point. The,

00:45:08.740 the other part of like the power down thing that I'm, I'm talking about is it's not only a work,

00:45:16.140 a reworking of the plan for tomorrow to get focused or stay focused on what you need to.

00:45:21.020 It's again about saying, I'm going to clear all the stuff out of the way that doesn't matter.

00:45:25.080 It's running that whole cycle again of, I wouldn't, I need to be really clear. I need to be able to focus.

00:45:31.800 I need to get rid of all the distractions. So if I'm distracted every day at work, because people are

00:45:37.440 coming in my door, asking me questions or asking me to do a function that I could outsource,

00:45:42.740 outsource that thing. Now I can come back to focus and actually execute my plan.

00:45:47.420 So that this is now beginning to expand further and think about, well, it's not just the plan

00:45:51.480 and updating the plan. It's about facilitating your environment such that you can actually do the

00:45:56.680 plan. Like you have to evaluate all of that. If you want to, if you want to be exceptional,

00:46:01.580 if you want to do really hard things, it's, it's all of that combined. And it's on a regular basis.

00:46:08.840 It's on a daily basis. And this is why, this is why rest and recovery becomes more important.

00:46:15.120 This is why all of those things that you do for yourself to facilitate you being able to operate

00:46:19.780 that way, become critically important. So you can do that because you could go do a plan half-assed

00:46:24.940 and not be willing to admit to yourself, you did it half-assed. And that's actually why it failed.

00:46:29.440 Or you could be so tired while you're trying to do the thing that you screw it up. And then you're

00:46:35.240 like, well, this is never going to work. Well, no, it's actually you screwing it up because you

00:46:39.740 didn't go to bed when you were supposed to go to bed. Like all of those little things feed into it.

00:46:45.200 And this is, this is what I try to bring to, to men's attention. Like if they're, if they're in

00:46:50.020 coaching or they're running into these roadblocks, it's still mostly just us not doing all of those

00:46:55.800 things in addition to planning. I don't know, I can ramp up there for a little bit,

00:46:59.160 but there's, there's a lot of little nuances within how, and we all do it differently.

00:47:03.740 And I think that that's the important of talking to a guy one-on-one and saying, well, what's your

00:47:07.840 deal? What's, what's the challenge in this for you is because the challenge in it for me doesn't

00:47:15.080 matter. It's, it's, what's the challenge for you? Cause that's the root of, of the issue.

00:47:19.640 Is it, is it the plan? Is it the detail of the plan? Is it because you're being distracted by,

00:47:24.160 by pouring an alcohol and pot or, or whatever it may be. That's, that's to me, that's planning.

00:47:31.380 That's like planning your life. It's like planning your lifestyle and saying, I'm going to live in

00:47:35.060 such a way that makes all of that easier to execute.

00:47:38.760 One, I think there's also something to be said for having the systems and processes in place to

00:47:43.300 eliminate some of the distraction or the brain spaces that's required to do the menial task.

00:47:49.800 The example that comes to mind is for me, when I started cooking for dinner for my kids,

00:47:55.020 I hated it. I'd have to like plan the meals. I'd have to go to the grocery store,

00:48:00.380 get all the ingredients based on these individual meals, come back, cook it, realize I don't have

00:48:05.800 butter. And then I couldn't cook that. Or I ran out of bread or whatever. And it's like,

00:48:10.440 there's no system whatsoever to it. And one thing I started doing is I, I purchased a subscription

00:48:16.920 to HelloFresh. It's a, like a food cooking thing. Like I don't need to worry about that anymore.

00:48:23.140 Now, are all the meals going to be home runs with the kids? No. Cause I don't pick them. I let the

00:48:28.380 company pick and send whatever they want to me, but I don't have to go shop for groceries. I don't

00:48:33.620 have to make a food list. I don't have to make a dinner meal list. I just have to take all the

00:48:38.180 ingredients they send me and then just make it. So I can focus on time with the kids, time with work.

00:48:45.560 I don't have to go to the grocery store and spend an hour. I can do emails for an hour or

00:48:50.120 call potential podcast guests for an hour. It just makes me that much more productive.

00:48:55.020 Oh, absolutely. And what they're doing for you and for people that want to start businesses,

00:48:59.000 the value that they're providing you is the removal of the distraction.

00:49:03.700 So you can focus on what you want to focus on. Yeah. Like that's, that's a huge,

00:49:09.120 that's the best value you can get from a service. Like I, I think that that's cool. Now,

00:49:15.440 I don't do that because even I'm too lazy for that. I just go to Arby's and get a double roast

00:49:19.600 beef sandwich, but I'm also at the point where my, where my, where my kids aren't around that much

00:49:23.980 anymore. So I can get away with that. But I think that that points to, yeah, you, you found a way to

00:49:28.340 remove excess distractions, decisions that don't need to be made. So you can go focus on what matters

00:49:33.860 to you, which is your kids. Cause you said they matter. My time with them matters. And I do want food.

00:49:39.300 And so the conflict there can be resolved by saying, you send me something good to eat.

00:49:43.820 I can cook it without thinking about it. And I can enjoy them. That's right. And that,

00:49:48.800 that's a great example of, I think. So, and I think people would say like, well, you know,

00:49:53.060 it's expensive. Yeah. Maybe I don't really know actually, cause I don't grocery shop.

00:49:58.660 It's more expensive than groceries. I'm sure. I don't care. I'd rather recapture that money.

00:50:04.380 So if you look at it on the grand scheme of things, yes, in the isolated factor that we're

00:50:10.200 talking about, yes, the food might be slightly more expensive, but the amount of time that I save

00:50:15.680 and headache is where I recoup the cost. Yes, absolutely. As long as I agree with that a hundred

00:50:24.880 percent. And, and I think as long as you take the time that you get in return for that and it's

00:50:31.800 productive time. Right. Right. And that's where that, and again, so all this, I sound so repetitive,

00:50:39.260 but it's because people just forget that's where you need to focus that if, if, if I have all this

00:50:46.300 time to produce something, the better that I spend that time producing a thing or creating a piece of

00:50:53.800 art or writing or creating a podcast or leading other people, whatever, whatever, or creating a new

00:51:01.120 product, the better, the more that I spend time doing that and the better I do that, well, then the more

00:51:09.380 value I'm generating, which means the more money I'm more likely to generate on the backend, whether that's

00:51:15.140 in service to a corporation as, as a job, whether you're in construction building, whether you're running

00:51:20.900 your own business, it doesn't really matter. The focus time and increase in productivity is like, that's the

00:51:29.900 Jetson's advantage that we've never taken advantage of in current society. I can be so productive with,

00:51:35.320 with a push of a button and a this and a that, that I can now generate the same amount of income

00:51:39.880 that I could before and live a really good lifestyle without all the extra stress. Like that's, that's

00:51:45.580 the whole big picture for me. So people just forget they're like, well, yeah, that's expensive.

00:51:51.160 So what? So it's not spending time with your kids. It's just a different cost, right? It's,

00:51:56.160 it's, you're losing more in your relationships and in your time with others, in your sense 0.99

00:52:01.360 of fulfillment, especially as you get older, if you ignore all of that shit, because you're 0.98

00:52:06.100 worried about money, right? This, the easiest way to see this is go, go follow national geographic, 0.97

00:52:14.020 uh, photographers as they go somewhere, um, into a third world country where nobody has any

00:52:19.080 money. They're, they're living with dirt floors in a grass hut and they're the happiest damn 0.97

00:52:23.960 people in the world. Why? Like just let that sit with people for a little minute. So the cost, 0.98

00:52:33.040 the cost of a thing is, is irrelevant. In a sense, I look at, I look at, um, when it comes

00:52:38.520 to cost, I use the distinction and again, semantics here. Yeah. Let's understand the point, but I look

00:52:43.840 at it. So there's the price of something and there's the cost of something. Yeah. So for example,

00:52:49.600 if I have a computer that's 10 years old, I can go look at a new computer and the price tag might

00:52:56.720 be $2,000. So that's the price, but the cost is non-existent. There's no cost to it because if I use

00:53:05.000 this new laptop, I'm going to make more than $2,000 in the time that it speeds up for me relative to me

00:53:11.960 keeping my 10 year old computer. So the price tag, yeah, $2,000, the cost zero because it,

00:53:18.400 it made me more productive. Yeah. It pays for itself. It's an investment, right? It's totally

00:53:24.680 an investment. And, you know, just like to, to drag on to that and into another one of the topics that

00:53:30.200 we talk about is in that specific example, you're literally, you're literally reducing the amount of

00:53:38.560 time it takes to struggle through something to be productive, right? Because you have updated

00:53:44.060 technology. This is the advantage of AI, which is kind of a side topic, but the flow cycle itself is,

00:53:50.700 is recover, struggle, release, flow. And it's always that way. And so you're greasing the skids in

00:53:59.080 the struggle part by using updated technology, updated processes, updated techniques by utilizing AI,

00:54:05.360 right? It's to, to make that jump from struggle to release easier. And if you didn't do it, your

00:54:13.000 productivity wouldn't go up. That's, that's when you look at, at our technological society being what

00:54:18.540 it is. That's why I have a hard time. Sometimes people are like, well, I'm just going to reject the

00:54:21.540 whole thing. You know, like, and maybe that's a fear-based thing. Maybe there's like, maybe they

00:54:26.800 really want to be just traditionalists and I get it. But if you want to be productive in today's world,

00:54:31.760 you know, you do have to keep up with that. And to outdo your competition, having the best tools

00:54:38.920 helps you perform better. It makes it easier. And this sounds, I think to a lot of guys like too easy

00:54:46.420 because we love hanging hard, do hard things, do something hard. Sure. There's struggle. There's

00:54:51.420 something to be involved there. But if I can make that struggle easier, I can get to, I can get to

00:54:56.180 productivity faster and I'm going to beat you. I've actually, I was going to say, I remember

00:55:03.040 years ago, you told me that we were having a conversation about something and you were like,

00:55:07.040 I'm so sick of seeing guys do hard things just for the sake of being hard. And, and it should be

00:55:12.800 fulfilling, right? If you're going to do something difficult, like have it be fulfilling. And also

00:55:17.400 there's a difference between I think training and actual performance. So if you want to struggle in

00:55:23.320 your training so that you can build up the tolerance and the strength required to achieve

00:55:29.260 and perform correctly, I get that. But when it comes time to perform, I'll get, I remember this,

00:55:35.020 I did a Spartan ago years and years ago and they said in the instructions, they said, bring a fire

00:55:41.600 starting kit. So the 80 participants or however many they were, all of us brought everything on that

00:55:48.160 list. And then they did a shakedown before we even started. And there was two guys who did not get to

00:55:54.360 participate because they didn't fulfill the requirement of that list. But on that list was

00:55:59.020 a fire starting kit. So I put in there, you know, like a Vaseline covered cotton swabs and a Flint, 0.94

00:56:09.140 like all the, all the ways to start it. And the last thing I threw in there, I'm like,

00:56:12.060 they didn't say I could, couldn't bring a lighter. So I threw a lighter in and the guy's doing a

00:56:17.580 shakedown and he's going through my fire starting kit. He's like, you put a lighter in here. I'm like,

00:56:22.440 yeah, start to fire. He's like, you're the only person that brought a lighter. That's the smartest

00:56:28.420 thing you ever could have done. It's like, why are we making this harder than it needs to be? We,

00:56:33.460 we think it counts more if it's harder.

00:56:35.240 Right. Right. Because we love challenge. So, so yeah, I mean, it's a really nuanced

00:56:42.660 conversation, right? And because a lot of people instantly reject me when I say, yeah,

00:56:46.440 doing hard things just to do them. And maybe, maybe not, but I, you know, I think where I would

00:56:54.340 want to take that now that I've matured further, probably since that conversation was, is to go to

00:57:01.200 the point of saying, challenge yourself really, right? Yeah. Training in hard things and like

00:57:08.000 doing in a go, you're doing Spartan races. I've done those things too. And they're fun and they're

00:57:11.840 entertaining, but in, but, but they didn't do anything for me necessarily. I got a nice

00:57:16.500 participation medal. What really challenges me though, is how do I, how do I develop my career

00:57:24.700 further? How do I, how do I sustain my business? How do I develop my family into a better environment?

00:57:30.300 Like really, really big challenges. I think take the place of, I'm going to just do some of these

00:57:36.080 hard things along the way. Cause this is really hard. And I think a lot of us just don't aim high

00:57:40.540 enough for that lifestyle and that fulfillment. And, and what, what are our dreams? Like when's the

00:57:47.220 last time you even had a guy say, well, what, what's your dreams? What are you dreaming about?

00:57:52.940 Like, what's so big for you? You're just like, wow. Like that to me is hard. That's the hard stuff.

00:57:58.240 All these other little things are just, are, they're just kind of steps along the way.

00:58:02.540 And they can be training reminders. They can be a lot of those things. And there's so much value

00:58:06.580 in what you said around the training versus execution. And if you begin to view how you set

00:58:13.480 up your lifestyle as a training environment for when you're ready to perform, then you'll perform

00:58:18.540 better. And it's right back to the sports analogies, which we can learn so much from,

00:58:22.800 you know, a guy getting into flow, being in the zone, playing basketball. He's not in that all

00:58:30.200 the time. He's in that when he's performing and he can do that because he upped his skill to the

00:58:35.480 level that he can be in that moment and perform. And the whole idea of challenge versus skill

00:58:41.880 ratio is something we haven't touched on yet, but when something looks really hard, that's why you're

00:58:46.740 breaking it down. I've got to break it down to a level where either I can up my skills to meet that

00:58:50.580 level of challenge or I have to break the challenge down to allow me to mature into what I can now do

00:58:55.560 that next step. And that's all training all the time. And I think we spend way too much time trying

00:59:01.820 to perform and not sharpening the axes as the saying goes. Like, I don't think we really work

00:59:07.240 our way through that because we don't, we just don't process that on a daily basis that way.

00:59:11.160 We don't think about it. Well, I know one of the things for me is I, I, because I am tend to be

00:59:16.640 more of an action oriented person is sharpening the saw doesn't feel like action to me. And so

00:59:23.100 that's where I, that's the struggle for me is like, okay, do I sit down and do I read a half an hour of

00:59:27.480 this, this book? Or do I go out and send some emails and make some phone calls and, you know,

00:59:33.220 do something? Well, my default is to go do something, but I know, I know intrinsically that

00:59:39.460 if I spent, if I had four hours as the adage goes and spent the first three sharpening the axe,

00:59:44.460 I can get that tree down in less time than if I just went at it without having it with,

00:59:49.940 you know, with a dull saw. Yeah. And if you go after, I'll, I'll, I'll use this word. You didn't

00:59:57.140 use it. If you, but if you go after those mundane tasks, I need to do my emails. I need to do my

01:00:02.620 accounting. I need to do all of these other little steps that actually produce for me, but they're not

01:00:07.320 interesting probably in some ways to everyone. Yeah, of course. If you, if you, if you take

01:00:13.840 those, and this is the level of detail that I really try to push people towards. If you take

01:00:18.760 those and say, I'm going to do all that stuff in a, in a, in a 90 minute window on Friday morning at

01:00:23.420 10 PM. And here's exactly how I'm going to do it. I'm going to sit down at the computer. I'm going to

01:00:28.420 have these things ready to go. I'm going to grease the skids, be like, I'm going to have all my numbers

01:00:32.140 ready to go. I just got to input them. I'm going to already know who I need to contact. I'm going to do

01:00:36.200 steps. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8. You'll probably do it in an hour and you'll enjoy it more because

01:00:41.620 you were just in the moment doing the thing and it's done. Right. And often, often the mundane

01:00:46.300 could be made more interesting, the deeper you go into it, which feels counterintuitive to people.

01:00:52.340 If it's boring, just go deeper. When you say go deeper, are you saying it, do it, do it better?

01:00:58.260 Do it, do it. It could be, it could be go, go to a level of detail that makes it interesting again.

01:01:03.880 Hmm. That's interesting. Right. So it's like, it's, it's like within the mundane,

01:01:09.100 make it interesting by going to a level of detail and understanding and performance

01:01:12.480 that makes that worthwhile. This is interesting. I've seen this in my own life in the gym where,

01:01:20.200 you know, I, I might get burnt out on a certain movement. Let's just say bench press, you know,

01:01:24.860 burnt out on bench press again. But then I realized if I watch a video on proper technique for bench

01:01:31.260 press, it's way more interesting to go back to the gym the next day because I, you know, have,

01:01:36.520 have your elbows where they need to plant your feet, where they need to be archer back, like

01:01:39.760 correct bar movement, path movement, way more interesting doing the same thing I was doing

01:01:44.920 before, but now I'm more interested in it because I went deeper. Right. And so now you understand the

01:01:49.500 details and now you can evaluate better. And guess what? Your performance begins to escalate.

01:01:53.480 Of course. And it's, it's just so counterintuitive, you know, to, to us, to sit,

01:01:59.740 to evaluate, to go to a level of detail, but like, that's the challenge that I have for anybody

01:02:05.700 listening to this is if you want a real challenge, go to the level of detail that's required for you

01:02:10.780 to perform at a level. No one else is because that's how they're doing it. They know it better.

01:02:17.000 They understand it better. They work quote unquote harder at it and harder could just be.

01:02:21.000 Now I know it better than you. I know how to do it the easy way. I know how to do it faster.

01:02:25.880 That's all. It comes from detail orientation and focus on a thing. I mean, then it's just a huge

01:02:30.300 part of, of peak performance or performing at a level that other people don't. Yeah. I mean,

01:02:34.360 think about, we, you know, we always talk about jujitsu. You think about jujitsu is like,

01:02:38.440 you know, I got a couple of friends, get some belt promotions over the weekend. And

01:02:41.520 those guys aren't more athletic than a white belt, any other person. They're just super detail oriented

01:02:48.720 and they know how to do things better. Not again, because they're wonderfully talented or gifted,

01:02:54.440 but because they're playing 15, 20 moves ahead. And I might be playing two to three moves ahead.

01:03:02.260 So of course that person's going to beat me nine out of 10 times, maybe even 99 out of a hundred.

01:03:07.020 Yeah. And it's, that's such a great example. You know, so, you know, I do foil fencing with my son.

01:03:11.720 Oh, that's right. Yeah. Right. Yep.

01:03:12.960 And I started that at, in, in my fifties, just a couple of years ago. And it is the best thing for

01:03:19.380 me because it put me back into that, into that spot of, I'm not good enough at this to be good

01:03:25.580 at it. So I have to now learn and pay attention to the details. And what's, what's interesting is

01:03:30.320 by paying more and more attention to the details and everybody loves sword fighting. So you can

01:03:34.980 imagine how people start swacking the wild swinging shirt. None of this works. It doesn't work.

01:03:41.580 And so my coach, she's 59 now. So this woman can make me look like an idiot. And she does it so 1.00

01:03:49.880 smoothly and so quickly and so easily. And she asked me six months ago, she's like, well, what's

01:03:55.060 next for you? I'm like, I want to do what you do. I want to be able to just stand there and relax

01:04:01.180 and just keep it simple. And she's like, yeah, well, you're not ready for that. And she's right.

01:04:06.360 Because she's like, you haven't learned this technique or that one. And the, but then she'll teach

01:04:11.020 them one at a time, this little small detail. Like if you, here's, here's one lesson. If I come

01:04:16.200 across to pair you and my point is now out there, I can't hit you with it. So this is doing it wrong,

01:04:22.860 but we don't think that until somebody tells you that like, well, why can't I do this and just hit 0.87

01:04:27.880 you? Well, that little detail, here's how you turn your hand versus this way versus that way.

01:04:33.560 And it's the same and jujitsu more power to you guys, man. I, I, you would all whoop me at that,

01:04:38.660 but it is so much fail and it is so much in, do I understand the right technique to get in and out

01:04:43.800 of a thing? And if you do anything like that, fencing, jujitsu, football, those, those smaller

01:04:49.080 techniques, that's why people get really good at it. That's why they become professionals at it.

01:04:54.320 It's those small little details are so ingrained into their training that when they go do it,

01:04:58.580 their body just reacts to the thing. And they're in that flow and they're in that state because they

01:05:04.380 did all of that other hard work before to make it easier now. And now they just do not thinking

01:05:09.700 anymore. They're just doing. Alexis, this has been powerful, man. Um, I would like, as we close down

01:05:15.900 for you to tell the guys where to connect more, uh, Vero's group, obviously talk a little bit about

01:05:20.160 that. Let the guys know where to sync up with you and, uh, we'll close it out today.

01:05:24.200 Sure. So easiest way is the Vero's group.com.

01:05:27.420 Um, you can go check that out. Obviously guys can see, uh, what we have in partnership with the

01:05:32.640 IC. You can see a little bit of the program. Uh, if guys are interested, they can go in and apply

01:05:36.900 there. If they're a little hesitant, I would say, read the blog for a little while. Um, go check out

01:05:43.900 some of the other publications that are associated to it, but you can, you can learn enough at the

01:05:49.080 Vero's group.com that if you're interested, go ahead and take that next step, throw that,

01:05:52.840 throw that, uh, application out there and let's have a conversation. You can find me on Facebook,

01:05:57.280 you can find me on LinkedIn, find me in all the standard places, send me a note and let's talk

01:06:03.400 and see what we can do. I mean, that's, that's as simple as I can make it for guys. And if they're

01:06:08.740 up for a, if they're up for a good challenge and coaching to get past some of the roadblocks,

01:06:13.580 which is a big part of our program, get some training, understand your roadblocks, assess

01:06:18.460 yourself, get pushed. That's what we're doing. Well, I know, I know it'll be challenging in all

01:06:23.060 the right ways. Lex, I appreciate you and our friendship and your accountability as well.

01:06:26.560 You've held me accountable and motivated me, inspired to do things as well. And man,

01:06:30.440 it means a lot. So thanks for joining me today.

01:06:32.760 You bet. Thank you for having me. Appreciate it.

01:06:36.020 There you go, gentlemen, my conversation with the one and only Lex Robinson, one of my favorite

01:06:40.380 guys in the iron council. And just in general, he's become a very, very good friend,

01:06:44.980 a great advocate and a good coach and mentor to me. So please, if you would connect with him,

01:06:50.200 take a screenshot, tag him, tag myself, post it on the gram, post it on X, post it on Facebook,

01:06:54.960 let people know what you're listening to, because this is going to go a long way in serving them as

01:06:59.220 well. And I believe as men, we have a duty and obligation to bring value to people's lives.

01:07:04.460 And this is one that I think will bring a lot of value to people if they implement it. I know

01:07:09.760 these are things and factors that I'm implementing in my own life. And I see results when I do also on

01:07:16.020 a parting word, we are going to be again, opening up the iron council. It's open right now, in fact.

01:07:21.540 So if you're interested in that and you want to watch a short video on what it's all about and some

01:07:25.840 of the features and benefits, then head to order of man.com slash iron council. That's order of man.com

01:07:32.460 slash iron council. All right, guys, you all have your marching orders. We'll be back tomorrow.

01:07:38.900 Until then, go out there, take action and become a man you are meant to be.

01:07:43.000 Thank you for listening to the order of man podcast. You're ready to take charge of your life

01:07:47.380 and be more of the man you were meant to be. We invite you to join the order at order of man.com.

Order of Man - December 19, 2023

LEX ROBINSON ｜ Producing Peak Performance

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