Order of Man - June 23, 2023


Life Can Get Better If… ｜ FRIDAY FIELD NOTES


Episode Stats


Length

17 minutes

Words per minute

201.99376

Word count

3,627

Sentence count

290


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

I m back from a trip to Hawaii and ready to get back into the swing of things. In this episode, I talk about how I ve been able to bounce back from the loss of my first wife and how I managed to get my life back on track.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
00:00:00.000 You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest. Embrace your fears and boldly chart
00:00:04.960 your own path. When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time. Every time.
00:00:10.400 You are not easily deterred or defeated. Rugged. Resilient. Strong. This is your life. This is who
00:00:17.100 you are. This is who you will become. At the end of the day, and after all is said and done,
00:00:22.660 you can call yourself a man. Gentlemen, what is going on today? My name is Ryan Mickler.
00:00:27.260 I'm the host and the founder of the Order of Man podcast and movement. Welcome here today
00:00:31.300 and welcome back. I'm excited to be with you. The last couple of weeks I've been traveling with
00:00:37.340 my oldest son. We've been hunting in Hawaii and we had some success with axis deer and
00:00:42.980 goats on the big island of Hawaii. So we had a good trip. It's good to be back. A little tired
00:00:49.060 just with my jet lag trying to get back into it, but I love doing this podcast and I love trying
00:00:53.860 to give you guys information and tools and resources that will help you take your life
00:00:58.060 to the next level. That's what we're trying to do here is help you with conversations and
00:01:02.660 guidance and anecdotes and stories and all sorts of resources that you can use in your life to
00:01:10.380 improve your relationships with your children or your wife, your girlfriend, significant other,
00:01:16.260 improve your business, improve your bank account, improve your body, improve your life in general.
00:01:20.060 So I made a post as I got back because I've had some major life changes over the past year,
00:01:25.580 one of which I've been open about my divorce months ago this year. And it's been a hard road
00:01:35.120 over the past 11 months or so trying to put things back together and rebuild the puzzle and get my life
00:01:43.340 back on track. And I made this post inside our exclusive brotherhood, the Iron Council, which if you
00:01:49.260 don't know what the Iron Council is, it's 1,200 of us all banded together working towards common goals
00:01:55.340 and objectives, but also our individual goals and objectives, personal and professional desires and
00:02:00.640 ambitions and things that we want to accomplish our dreams. And we're working together through systems
00:02:06.280 and tools that we have available and we're holding each other accountable. That accountability and
00:02:10.620 camaraderie with other men who are on the same path has been instrumental, not only in my life,
00:02:15.640 but at this point, tens of thousands of men who have, who have joined us and who are currently
00:02:21.640 with us. I made this post and I want to read it to you and then we'll break it down a little bit.
00:02:25.540 I wrote this, life can get better gentlemen, but it's not going to get better if you keep engaging
00:02:29.940 in the same behaviors that got you to the place of dissatisfaction you may be now. I've had several
00:02:35.520 people ask me lately how I got over everything I divorced so quickly. First, I didn't get over anything
00:02:41.020 quickly. My failed marriage is something I think about every day. That said, I don't allow it to
00:02:46.160 consume me and continually drag me into a pit of despair. For the last 11 months, I've changed so
00:02:51.340 much about my life. I stopped eating like garbage. I started lifting weights regularly again. I put
00:02:57.240 down the alcohol. I journal nearly every day. I started reading books again. I reengaged in old
00:03:02.480 hobbies. I connected with long lost friends and I started once again to live religiously through the
00:03:09.060 battle planning system that we've created. This isn't rocket science, guys. It is a lot like math.
00:03:14.660 Life is a formula and outside of unforeseen and unexpected events, much of our lives can be very
00:03:20.740 predictable. The formula is simple. Eat right, move your body, self-reflect, connect with a purpose,
00:03:27.840 serve other people, make yourself capable, be smart with your money, find joy, work hard, rest,
00:03:34.460 and recover. If we habitually find ourselves in positions we don't like, look at the formula.
00:03:40.280 Where is the breakdown? Pick one to focus on. Go all in on shoring that area up. When you have it
00:03:47.080 locked in, pick another, then another, then another. Don't overcomplicate it. Do five to seven things
00:03:53.240 right today. That's it. Five to seven things. Don't worry about the outcome. That will take care of
00:03:59.440 itself. Like any formula, the answer is the answer. The input is what matters. Replace faulty input
00:04:06.560 with better data and the answer inevitably improves. Guys, this is how you improve your life.
00:04:13.560 It isn't rocket science. It isn't hard to figure out. It isn't complicated. It's actually very simple
00:04:21.420 and that doesn't mean it's easy. That's not to dismiss what any of you may be going through.
00:04:25.800 Uh, that's not to dismiss the mental, emotional, physical, spiritual torment that you might be
00:04:32.120 experiencing right now. I certainly have that at times in my life. It's not to be dismissive of that.
00:04:37.800 It's to give you hope and optimism that whatever you're facing right now, whether it's a divorce,
00:04:42.820 separation, lawsuit, financial issues, medical complications, and troubles, that you can work
00:04:49.640 through it and that you can have a sense of hope, the optimism for what life can be. Let's break down
00:04:55.620 each one of these points that I made with regards to the formula. And I'll be fairly quick because we
00:05:02.260 have hit these at length, but I, again, I just want to reiterate how important these things are.
00:05:06.460 And what I noticed as I wrote these things down is they're simple and it isn't new information.
00:05:15.460 So we tend to believe that because it's not new or complicated or complex, that it couldn't be the
00:05:24.680 answer. We're looking for the complicated. Um, one person that comes to mind is Andrew Heberman.
00:05:30.320 I love what the guy has to share. It's, it's fascinating information. Some of it is very applicable
00:05:35.480 and some of it is just so complex and complicated and the rate of return for the effort required
00:05:42.440 just doesn't compute to me anyways. I think we can hit on those things, those other offshoots and
00:05:49.000 tangents and more in depth when we get these simple things, right. But I fear that so many of us are
00:05:55.000 looking for the complicated and complex at the expense of doing any work. We believe that, oh,
00:06:01.620 if we're consuming information or we're listening to this smart, intelligent person that
00:06:05.420 we're moving the needle. No, you're not because if you have all that information, but you're still
00:06:08.500 eating like garbage, what good is the information? So let's break this down. The formula simple is
00:06:13.180 what I wrote. Number one, eat right. We all know what to do, right? Cut out the processed sugar.
00:06:17.560 Just do that alone. Just cut out the processed sugars. If that's all you did in your diet,
00:06:22.160 and I'll give you two things, cut out processed sugars and eat less. If 99% of the people listening
00:06:27.980 to this podcast, myself included, did that, the diet thing wouldn't be an issue. Well, Brian,
00:06:33.060 what else, how many, what, what portion of this should I eat? You can figure all that out. That's
00:06:37.160 important. Again, I'm not dismissing it, but if you aren't cutting out processed sugars and you're
00:06:41.720 eating too much, none of that matters. Do that. Let's not complicate it. So I'm going to challenge
00:06:47.780 you this week to, if the eating thing is an issue of you, of yours, then focus on that. No processed
00:06:55.280 sugars for the rest of the week. Smaller portion sizes, simple things like instead of getting the big
00:07:00.280 plate at home, serve yourself on a smaller plate. Y'all have them, right? You've got the big plate,
00:07:05.900 you've got the large plate and the small plate. Use the small plate and you'll do smaller portion
00:07:09.820 sizes. Also, don't go for seconds. I like seconds. I'll eat all the seconds. No, just one helping of
00:07:16.420 each, a good balanced portion, meat, vegetables, maybe starch like potatoes or rice, something like
00:07:22.560 that. And that's it. You don't need anything else. No, it's not sexy. I know that might not be fun,
00:07:27.400 but if you want to get it right, that's what you'll do. Don't go back for seconds. Cut out
00:07:31.640 the processed sugars. And I would also say snacks. Snacks. Eat at lunch, eat at breakfast, eat at
00:07:38.060 dinner. That's it. Number two, move your body. Guys, you all know you should be moving your body
00:07:44.940 on a daily basis. And I guess some guys will say, work out three to five days a week. No,
00:07:48.680 train your body every single day. I'm not saying that you need to do legs or arms or whatever it might
00:07:53.320 be every single day. But I'm saying that you should be active every single day. If you're
00:07:57.580 not in the gym because it's a Saturday or Sunday and that's not your schedule, then go out for a
00:08:01.520 two-mile walk. And don't just putt around. Go out for a brisk walk. Walk with intentionality.
00:08:09.140 Walk with purpose. Yes, get your 10,000 steps in, but walk like you're actually doing it for a reason.
00:08:16.000 Get the heart rate up a little bit. Get the pace going. Get the dog going if you're walking your dog
00:08:21.380 because your dog probably needs it too. Be intentional about it. If there's things that
00:08:26.340 you don't like that you've tried, maybe you've tried martial arts because you hear me or somebody
00:08:29.620 else talk about it all the time. And you're like, I'm going to go try martial arts. And you hate it.
00:08:33.620 You don't like it. You don't enjoy it. You find it miserable. Then don't do martial arts.
00:08:38.280 I won't think less of you. It doesn't matter if I do anyways. Nobody cares. Go do the thing
00:08:43.940 that's going to be your thing. I don't like running. People like running. That's weird to me.
00:08:48.980 I don't want to run. I'm not going to do it. I might go run and train for an event or something
00:08:53.480 like that to push me outside of my comfort zone. But yeah, you're not going to find me on a treadmill.
00:08:58.080 You're not going to find me running around the neighborhood because if I force myself to do that,
00:09:01.900 I'm going to be miserable and I don't want to be miserable. I can go lift weights. I can go train
00:09:06.800 jujitsu. I can go hike. I can go rock. I can do a lot of other things. I don't have to run just
00:09:13.640 because somebody says running is the best. I don't have to go do jujitsu because somebody talks
00:09:18.680 about jujitsu all the time, but you do need to be active. Find the thing that's going to work best
00:09:22.740 for you. Again, it's not revelatory information, but it is valuable. Number three, this one gets
00:09:29.260 overlooked a lot. Self-reflect. You have to have time in your day to think about your life, to think
00:09:35.220 about how you're showing up, to think about how you're performing, to evaluate your own performance.
00:09:39.960 Am I doing good? Am I doing bad? What areas of my life am I excelling at? Where am I falling behind?
00:09:45.020 Why do I feel the way that I feel? Why am I experiencing this emotion right now? Why is
00:09:50.520 this thing triggering me and getting me angry? Why am I impatient? Self-reflection. Get up in your
00:09:56.200 head. Not all the time. You don't want to be in your head all the time, but you do need to be in
00:10:00.300 your head to some degree so that you can learn from yourself about what's going on and what makes you
00:10:05.140 tick and what turns you on and what turns you off and what demotivates you instead of inspires and
00:10:10.700 motivates you. Figure that stuff out. A great way to do that, I don't think I wrote it here,
00:10:15.000 here. Nope, I didn't write it in this one, is journaling. Just taking 10 to 15 minutes in the
00:10:22.180 morning. I do it in the morning and then I do a little bit of documentation in the evening and
00:10:26.580 that's it. What am I excited about today? What do I want to accomplish today? What lessons do I hope
00:10:32.340 I learn? What struggles am I currently dealing with? How am I feeling? Am I rested? Am I tired?
00:10:37.700 Am I recovered? Am I optimistic? Am I grumpy? What am I experiencing right now? At the end of the day,
00:10:42.960 what did I get done? What didn't I get done? Where did I excel? Where did I fall behind?
00:10:48.460 I know this is, it's not hard. I just know a lot of people aren't going to do it because it takes
00:10:54.460 time. It takes time to sit down for 15 minutes in the morning and if we get up and we have barely
00:10:59.620 enough time to shave and maybe take a shower and brush our teeth before we head out the door,
00:11:04.140 you're not going to do this. You don't have the time to do it. So, we got to be a little bit more
00:11:08.480 intentional about maybe waking up an hour and a half earlier than we normally do. And I say it
00:11:13.420 an hour and a half because that gives you time to go to the gym and then it gives you another little
00:11:16.700 bit of time to do some journaling and self-reflection. And then again, at the end of the
00:11:20.320 day, if you close your day out at 6 p.m. or 5 p.m., close it out at 4.30. If you're off the clock at
00:11:26.080 5, be done at 4.30 and you can use that last 20 to 30 minutes to get a notepad out or whatever
00:11:33.880 planning tool or system you use and start writing, hey, here's what I accomplished. Here's what I
00:11:37.960 didn't. Here's what I want to improve upon. And I promise if you do that, you're going to be more
00:11:41.760 aware of who you are and how you show up and why you're feeling the way you're feeling and you're
00:11:46.020 going to produce better results. One quote that I really like, it's in our battle planner. I'll just
00:11:51.000 pull it up so you can see it here. If you're watching on YouTube, I don't know if that'll be
00:11:54.740 backwards for you or not, but it says, that which is measured improves. That which is measured
00:12:00.960 in proofs by Carl Pearson. So if you measure it, or at least you reflect on it, inevitably going to
00:12:08.520 get better. Next, connecting with a purpose. Why are you here? This might be a spiritual undertone to
00:12:13.820 this or maybe not. Depends on if you're spiritual or not, but there's got to be a reason for you
00:12:18.800 being here. You're not a mindless soul as zombie, regardless if you think that we were created in
00:12:25.720 God's image or that we all knew what we are. There's got to be a reason you're here. You don't
00:12:31.200 have a reason for being here, for existing, for occupying space. Why are you? Some of you probably
00:12:38.280 at this stage in your life are asking yourself that question, like, why am I here? And considering
00:12:42.320 taking your own life. Don't do that. Please don't do that. Do these other things first and see if life
00:12:48.980 gets better. But don't. How does the saying go? Don't create a permanent solution to a temporary
00:12:56.220 problem. And I'm not trying to undermine what you're going through. I don't know what you're
00:12:59.920 going through. I know there's a lot of people in despair right now saying that's not the answer.
00:13:03.800 The answer are these other things. The answer is figuring out why you're here. You know, some of the
00:13:08.780 most inspiring, motivating men that I know, and many of which I've had on the podcast, are guys that
00:13:16.260 they've been in that pit of despair, that darkness, and they've used their horrible and tragic and even
00:13:22.340 horrific circumstances and situations to learn to grow from and then serve other people. And they're
00:13:28.960 so deeply connected to the purpose of serving other people that it inspires them to show up in a way that
00:13:34.980 maybe they wouldn't have shown up otherwise. I know that's hard to say in the moment when really
00:13:40.340 dealing with some difficult and challenging times, but I'll tell you what, as a man who's gone through
00:13:45.880 some challenging and difficult times, those are the times that give me the information
00:13:52.700 and also the position, perspective to serve other people. Connect to a purpose.
00:13:59.140 Next, serve other people. That's purpose-oriented, but serve other people. Serve your children. Serve
00:14:04.380 your wife. Serve your community members. Serve your neighbors. Serve your colleagues and your coworkers,
00:14:08.900 employees, clients. Serve other people. If you don't know what your purpose is, just start serving in
00:14:14.660 every capacity you can. Help other people. Add value to their lives. Donate and volunteer for
00:14:20.760 nonprofit organizations. Help somebody at work. Help the guy that's in the cubicle next to you
00:14:26.560 with the thing that he's struggling with. Not with any hope of anything in return, but just because it
00:14:31.720 feels good to serve people and it's the right thing to do. I found that I can't wallow in my own
00:14:36.620 self-pity if I'm more concerned with serving other people, but if I'm concerned with serving myself,
00:14:42.720 that isn't going to help. Be smart with your money. Talked a lot about that. Find joy. Work hard.
00:14:51.180 Rest and recover. Guys, I'm not going to get into all these today. I've talked about these things at
00:14:56.560 length, but I just want you to know that the formula is simple. I'm going to break out each one of these,
00:15:01.560 I think, in future Friday field notes a little bit better. Be smart with your money. Finding joy.
00:15:05.360 Working hard. Resting and recovering. We're going to break each one of these down. But guys,
00:15:09.940 what I want you to know is that you can have hope that the outcome of your life will take care of
00:15:13.960 itself in a better way if you take care of the inputs and the information that you put in.
00:15:18.920 Faulty data. Faulty return. Quality. High caliber data. Meaning high caliber activities. The better your
00:15:27.040 life is going to be. And outside of a few unexpected and unforeseen life events, life is pretty
00:15:32.500 predictable. So, like I said in this post, take a look at what's working in your life and double
00:15:38.060 down on that. Take a look at what's not working in your life and scrutinize and analyze the details,
00:15:43.440 the input, the behaviors that are creating that for you and fix them. Replace them with better
00:15:48.220 behaviors. You do that enough. You do that over consistent and sustained periods of time and you
00:15:54.000 will inevitably win. Okay. Kind of a short one for you today, guys. I want a bit of a time crunch as I
00:15:59.980 get back and get back into the thing. But I wanted to get this information to you and I want you to
00:16:04.960 be able to implement it. If you want to know how to implement this stuff even better, sure,
00:16:09.320 you can go at it alone. You can even talk with people in your area about these things or jump
00:16:14.280 on our Facebook group at facebook.com slash group slash order of man and talk with those guys.
00:16:18.620 But if you want to take the elevated experience where we're all working together, we're having
00:16:22.820 conversations like this, we're talking about these things, right? Identifying specific things that each of us
00:16:28.360 should do. And then we're holding each other accountable to do it. Like, hey, you said you
00:16:32.380 were going to go do this thing. You're not doing it. What's up? That's a true brotherhood. Not
00:16:36.580 somebody who's going to make you feel good about your underperformance, but somebody who's going to
00:16:40.240 call you up to perform better than you currently are. We are open right now in the Iron Council.
00:16:45.800 We're open until the end of this month, June. So if you want to join us and band with us and connect
00:16:51.480 and learn more about what we're talking about here and go deep into how to do all of these things
00:16:55.960 specifically for your situation, go to order of man.com slash iron council, order of man.com
00:17:02.640 slash iron council. Guys, I know your life can get better. I don't know where you are right now,
00:17:08.060 but I know a lot of you are struggling. You have messages from you. It doesn't have to be a struggle.
00:17:13.600 Life is inevitably going to happen. There's going to be moments and glimpses where we're going to
00:17:17.300 struggle that can make us better, but it should not be a perpetual struggle. Life can get better.
00:17:23.280 You can get better. You can improve your circumstances, but you have to change your
00:17:27.500 behaviors. Part of that is what we shared here. The other part of that I would suggest to you
00:17:32.240 as you get as the Iron Council, joining us, banding with other men, push and drive and motivate and
00:17:37.440 help you to do the things that you say you want to do. All right, guys, we will be back next week.
00:17:43.240 Until then, go out there, take action, become the man you are meant to be.
00:17:47.240 Thank you for listening to the order of man podcast. You're ready to take charge of your life
00:17:51.860 and be more of the man you were meant to be. We invite you to join the order at order of man.com.