Order of Man - Life-Defining Moments, Should You Quit Over Mandates, and Improving the Quality of Your Life

00:00:00.000 You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest. Embrace your fears and boldly chart

00:00:04.980 your own path. When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time. Every time.

00:00:10.440 You are not easily deterred or defeated. Rugged. Resilient. Strong. This is your life. This is who

00:00:17.160 you are. This is who you will become. At the end of the day, and after all is said and done,

00:00:22.700 you can call yourself a man. Gentlemen, welcome to another episode of the

00:00:27.820 Ask Me Anything of the Order of Man podcast. Today, I'm your host, Kip Sorensen.

00:00:32.940 And I am not here with Mr. Mickler. Instead, I am here with Sean. Mr. Mickler is unable to join us

00:00:38.660 today on this week's episode. And so Sean is stepping in and filling the gaps. Sean,

00:00:44.460 why don't you give us a little background of who you are and your involvement with Order of Man?

00:00:49.400 And then we'll just dive into these questions. I'd love to. My name is Sean Villalobos. I am married,

00:00:55.020 four children, been married 20 years. I have been in the Iron Council for two years now

00:01:01.540 and started following Ryan, just actually saw him on somebody else's podcast. I'm like,

00:01:07.800 oh man, I like this guy. I got to start listening and become part of the movement. We just did a

00:01:12.540 meetup out in Southern California for the Order of Man. And yeah, that's it. I have an agency across

00:01:21.400 the country of over 4,000 reps in leadership developments. My focus is on helping people,

00:01:27.580 you know, through our business. We end up basically counseling people on everything,

00:01:32.800 their faith, their family, their finances, fitness, everything. So glad to be here.

00:01:37.780 Yeah, I love it. What was the podcast,

00:01:40.460 Sean, that he was on that you were listening to? Do you remember?

00:01:43.540 I do not remember. Oh, man. There's your opportunity to help that guy.

00:01:53.060 I'm that guy that walks in my garage, you know, 10 times a day and forgets why I walked in my garage.

00:01:58.560 Why you walked in there? Okay. Well, and I'm so bad. I mean, I'm horrible when it comes to like

00:02:03.860 authors and quotes, you know, which is the worst, right? Because it's like someone gave their blood,

00:02:10.940 sweat and tears to do something amazing. And I'll be like, yeah, that was an amazing book. Who wrote

00:02:15.540 it? Yeah. I have no idea. Yeah. Yeah. I in your brain job at that, but who knows how I got there?

00:02:20.840 Yeah. Copy. All right. So as you guys know, we're going to field questions. We're fielding

00:02:26.000 questions today from the Facebook group to join us on Facebook, go to facebook.com slash group slash

00:02:32.040 order of man. And of course you can follow Mr. Mickler on Insta and Twitter at Ryan Mickler.

00:02:38.800 So we have one question from last week that, that Ryan suggested that I address. And it was

00:02:45.300 from Manny Alvarez. He said, you know, this question was for professor Kip, I guess that's

00:02:49.780 my new nickname. He says, uh, what training outside jujitsu do you recommend? So Manny it's

00:02:56.660 interesting. I would have, and this was a little bit of a disclaimer. I would never said weightlifting

00:03:02.340 until we had a guy in the gym that was just a hundred percent focused on like bodybuilding.

00:03:08.680 He was jacked and he had a gas tank, like no other, and it didn't seem to impede his training

00:03:14.580 whatsoever. But I think that's an anomaly. So in, from my opinion, I think functional training

00:03:20.420 is the way to go, uh, kettlebell swings, Turkish getups, uh, high reps bursting of, uh, of movement.

00:03:29.700 I mean, if you follow, um, if you look up, uh, Jim Jones, my professors at our school are

00:03:36.660 instructors for Jim Jones and that type of training they got involved with because it complimented

00:03:43.280 Brazilian jujitsu. So I would kind of lean in that direction, but, but here's the key thing too,

00:03:48.840 is because here's the, here's the excuse or something that we hear often. And I don't,

00:03:54.240 I want to shoot it down. Some guys were like, Oh, well I need to get in better shape and then I'll

00:03:58.720 start doing, don't fall into that trap. So anyone listening, it's like, Oh, I better listen to this

00:04:03.160 and, and get my act together and start working out. And then I'll train when I'm in shape. Don't do

00:04:07.760 that. Just start training. Um, and even if you're injured, you keep training, you just adjust

00:04:13.780 how you're training. Um, and you do it in a fashion that works for your current body type.

00:04:18.520 And as that body type changes and you get better shape, awesome, but you still need to learn the

00:04:22.280 technique, right? So don't use that as an excuse to hold you back. But, um, Manny, there you go. I,

00:04:27.880 I would say pretty much any activity is a bonus. Um, but the best training for Brazilian jujitsu

00:04:33.760 is Brazilian jujitsu. And then second to that, I'd say is, is functional, uh, functional work workouts.

00:04:39.600 So, all right. All right. Next question. And then I'm going to read these off and Sean's going to

00:04:43.860 give us first pass on these bad boys. So Mark, Aaron, Charles, Bryant, what was your most defining

00:04:50.220 moment? Mr. Sean, most defining moment. Ooh, most defining moment. It would have to be,

00:04:58.000 I was 23 years old and I was at a conference in Las Vegas for, uh, what was my side hustle and is now

00:05:08.440 my business. And I was full-time working in the studios at the time, uh, as a laborer and my boss

00:05:15.940 wasn't giving me the time off. He didn't allow me to go to this conference. Uh, I, you know,

00:05:21.080 I give him months in advance. He wasn't going to let me go. I said, well, sorry, I'm going to go. I,

00:05:26.040 I, you're going to have to figure it out. And I left. So I didn't know if I was going to come back

00:05:30.600 with the job. And, uh, when I was at that conference, it, I had this realization that I

00:05:36.040 hadn't been giving my everything. And financially I would, I was frustrated. My mom had just lost a

00:05:44.240 job that she had for 18 years and she was in a real bad spot financially and, and freaked out about

00:05:50.320 her future. And I wanted to be able to put myself in a position to take care of her. And, um, and then

00:05:56.520 I realized that I was kind of squandering this opportunity that was in front of me at this

00:06:02.160 conference. And so I was staying in a room with like 12 other people at the Mandalay Bay in Vegas.

00:06:08.200 And I literally, I, I was so broke that I didn't have money for food. When I went to this thing,

00:06:14.020 I had a good job. I was just so check to check and behind and in all this debt and in a bad

00:06:19.080 situation. And so my strategy for eating during this conference was to, we luckily overlooked the

00:06:26.500 pool at, uh, the Mandalay Bay. And so my strategy was to look for people that maybe I knew that

00:06:33.080 were down at the pool eating. And then I was going to go and just happened to come across them and be

00:06:40.160 like, Hey, can I sit with you guys? And then I need some of the fries. Yeah, exactly. You're going to

00:06:44.620 finish that. You're going to eat that. And, uh, and so I was, I was on like the third day or something

00:06:50.700 like that. I think it was a four or five day conference. And, uh, and I'm looking down and

00:06:56.320 just having this realization earlier in the day, I heard from a guy who was taking care of his mom

00:07:01.000 and had done these things and, and realized I just wasn't giving it my everything. I could have done

00:07:07.480 more. There's way more I could have been doing and should have been doing. And I sat there in my

00:07:13.040 board shorts, looking down for someone I could eat with and I couldn't find anybody. And I literally

00:07:18.160 was like, why am I in this position? Why, why am I doing this to myself? I'm making it harder

00:07:24.500 by not working my hardest, you know, it's kind of that dichotomy. And, um, and I broke down,

00:07:31.600 I cried probably 30 minutes by myself in this room and, um, and then made the, the real decision.

00:07:40.040 I had been doing it for, uh, you know, about a year and just kind of half-assing it and made

00:07:47.900 the decision. No more. This enough is enough. I'm not, there's no way I'm going to come to this

00:07:52.620 conference next year and be in the same position. There's no way I'm going to continue to allow this

00:07:58.080 to happen in my life. And after that breakdown, I sucked it up. I went down there. I, I actually

00:08:04.540 didn't find anybody during that lunch break at the pool to, to end up eating with, but I was a new

00:08:11.020 man. I was a new person. I, uh, from that time forward, I gave it my absolute everything literally

00:08:18.040 left nothing on the field and, um, and it changed my life. So it was, it was one of those things I did

00:08:25.040 go back by the way. And, and I lost my job a couple of weeks after getting back. Um, my boss basically

00:08:32.120 just gave me enough time to, to find somebody else. And there's a job I thought I could never

00:08:36.980 be fired from. Cause I was his number one, you know, field supervisor at this job. And, um, and

00:08:43.100 I was gone and I, I ended up sleeping in my car, uh, for almost six months after that. And, uh, you

00:08:50.240 know, just financially, but I'd never felt better, never felt more excited, never. Cause I, I knew

00:08:56.480 where I was headed. I just, I was so sure that, uh, I was going to do what I committed to do in that

00:09:02.900 room. Yeah. You're fully committed to, to what you're working on. Let me ask you this was, was

00:09:08.660 being at the conference and seeing other people killing it. Part of that process where you're like,

00:09:14.120 you know what I mean? Like, why, why aren't I in a position like these other individuals? Why am I

00:09:19.700 scrapping here, you know, looking for some food at the side of the pool? Was there an element of

00:09:24.580 seeing what they're doing or was it really just like, I'm out of integrity and I'm not committed to

00:09:29.860 this and I should be committed to whatever it is I'm committed to. It was both. It was, you know,

00:09:35.420 seeing the proof that it works and then seeing it in people that were in my similar situation.

00:09:40.540 And I think that's what gets most people. They see somebody killing it. That's doing great. That's

00:09:45.980 not like them. That doesn't have their qualities, but this being around them longer and hearing some

00:09:51.340 of their stories, I started to realize I'm, I'm almost exactly like this guy, you know, or this guy

00:09:56.940 has my similar background, similar story. And it made me realize like, this is, I could do this.

00:10:03.820 And, uh, but I'm not, but I'm not doing it. And all they did was do what I know I can do.

00:10:10.240 Let me ask you one last question. Then I'll share my defining moment. What was,

00:10:13.620 what did, was that an intellectual conclusion for you of like, why weren't you? Like, can you

00:10:21.120 pinpoint that now? Like, why weren't you fully committed? Why weren't you giving it your all?

00:10:26.920 Yeah. I'm in. Here's the thing is I was committed enough to be at that conference

00:10:31.540 and to tell my boss, he was going to have to figure it out, which was really bold. Right. Cause I didn't

00:10:37.440 know if I was coming back to a job or not. So I was at least that committed, but there's that extra

00:10:43.440 inch, right. That little bit more, uh, you know, and, and I, I heard real early in my career that

00:10:50.040 that little bit more is so small that it's scary to talk about that the difference between the $50,000

00:10:55.940 a year and the $500,000 a year guy is that little bit more, that little extra, that little,

00:11:02.580 you know, you can't even call it commitment. It's more conviction than commitment. And so I realized

00:11:09.800 I was committed, but I wasn't convicted and I needed to be convicted all in burn my boats,

00:11:16.240 you know, no looking back. And that's what that did for me. Totally. It's interesting because when

00:11:24.440 I hire, so when we hire employees at the company, I I'm, I'm at, and when I do like quarter reviews with

00:11:32.320 my team members, this is the question is where's your commitment level? And, and are you, uh,

00:11:39.600 fully committed or partially committed, or you're just supportive in your role? And, and the definition

00:11:45.080 that I try to, you know, that we kind of have a conversation around is that you can be supportive,

00:11:51.240 right? I could show up and do my eight to five. I can do what's asked of me, but when I'm fully

00:11:58.120 committed, I do what's necessary. Like it's, it's different. It's not a, you know, and it, and,

00:12:04.620 and it's kind of like the illustration of it's like a, not a nine for nine to five job. Like you're

00:12:09.060 in it. Like, Hey, whatever's going to be need to be done. I'm going to do it because I'm committed

00:12:14.580 to the desired outcome of what we're trying to accomplish. And it's actually not only is it

00:12:21.060 effective from that perspective, but it's refreshing. Like it's, it's not like you're,

00:12:28.500 you're dragging these excuses or a backup plan with you, or you know what I mean? It's like,

00:12:34.460 you know, you're not undermining what you're doing and wondering like, Oh, this isn't going to work

00:12:38.480 or whatever. You're just like, no, it's, we're doing this. I'm all in. And then you'd kind of

00:12:44.440 just don't look back. Would you say it's that same level of, would you define it the same way as I just

00:12:49.820 did? I would as an employee, for sure. Yeah. And mine was a little different because it's,

00:12:56.420 I'm an entrepreneur. It's my business. It's different. So you have to do it because no one

00:13:02.300 else is going to do it or make up for it for you. But as an employee, it, that's important

00:13:07.900 because most people work just hard enough to not get fired and in return get paid just enough to

00:13:13.280 not quit. And so every company wants those people that are committed beyond that. And there's a give

00:13:20.280 and take, you can't have one without the other. And so you're always looking for that person that's

00:13:25.640 going to step up and get stuff done no matter what. And then ironically in return, they're going to end

00:13:31.460 up getting paid more. They're going to move up in the company. They're going to do those things.

00:13:36.300 Yeah, for sure. And I think, you know, and that's a, maybe a conversation to have in the future. If

00:13:40.220 guys are interested is like, you know, how, how do you get it? How do you move an employee up that

00:13:44.980 supportive or that commitment levels? You know, it's, it's, I think there's some really fun strategy

00:13:49.260 there. On this question, like, yeah, it is an art. So my defining moment, I would, I would actually,

00:13:55.720 here, here I go. I was mentioning already earlier that I can't reference authors. So I have no idea

00:14:00.800 where I read this, but I read it somewhere. Some smart guy somewhere said something. And,

00:14:05.280 and what it was is at least my definition or how I interpret it was defining moments. People have

00:14:12.620 defining moments in their life and their moments as though you can remember them as if they were

00:14:17.440 tomorrow. It is clear as day. And in most cases, defining moments are when you saw the world a

00:14:24.720 particular way and your state of being and mindset shifted. And most of the time, and I actually do

00:14:33.940 believe this. I think most of the time defining moments are actually negative. I think that they

00:14:39.720 are a scenario that occurs as a child. You realize something's wrong and you internalize it and saying,

00:14:46.080 I'm not going to allow this to happen to me again. Right now you could see where that might drive

00:14:51.320 someone to have huge success in life, but you could also see where now they're taking the emotions of

00:14:57.100 a five-year-old and dragging it into their future. And they're 40 years old and they have a problem

00:15:02.620 with something all because of this defining moment that they've latched onto their entire life.

00:15:06.540 If that makes sense. Now, I'm sure that's not what Mark's talking about. However, and I don't think

00:15:12.480 all defining moments are necessarily negative, but one of the most defining moments of my life

00:15:17.020 is when I was getting divorced, I was in the middle of the divorce process, you know, and here's my

00:15:25.720 story, right? Like my wife's leaving me, I'm by myself, my world's falling apart. I don't have my

00:15:33.520 kids. It's all her fault. I've done nothing wrong. This isn't justified. Woe is me, right? That's my

00:15:40.660 mental state. And I remember, and some of you guys have already heard this, but I just started running

00:15:46.560 all the time. It was like the only thing I could do to like, get out frustration. And I don't know,

00:15:54.060 I needed to do something. And so often I'd come home from work and I would just run and just run

00:15:59.200 and run. And I'm not a runner, by the way, at least I wasn't before this. And I would just run.

00:16:04.040 And sometimes I'd be sobbing and crying the whole time and cursing God of, you know, why would you

00:16:10.360 destroy my life? And I did all the things I was supposed to do. And I remember I was out West,

00:16:16.400 by surprise Arizona, out in the middle of the desert, just running. And I paused for a second.

00:16:24.000 And I was just kind of, I don't know, I just got this instant moment of clarity.

00:16:28.680 And I was just like, this is your fault. Every bit of it. She's leaving you because you're a bad

00:16:37.020 husband. You didn't show up. You weren't, you know, you were bringing nothing to the table.

00:16:42.660 And, and it just, I got clarity of how much I was making this whole thing, her, her fault and not

00:16:48.740 mine. And, and it was, and the way I explained it, it was like a bad joke. You know, it was,

00:16:56.140 it was like, Holy crap. I am such an idiot. And, but it also, as we all know, when we take extreme

00:17:03.600 ownership, it also empowered me. Cause I'm like, Whoa, wait a second. If it is my fault, you know what?

00:17:08.980 Then it's also within my control to be different, right. To show up differently in my life and make

00:17:15.300 sure I don't do this again, right. That I don't experience the suffering or this internal grief

00:17:20.760 that I was feeling at the moment. And, and that was a major change in my life, right? Because that was

00:17:26.300 a change from victimhood to ownership. And as we all know, there is no growth in victimhood.

00:17:32.840 Um, and so that was probably one of the biggest, um, biggest defining moments, uh, at least for me.

00:17:39.100 So, and what makes it defining is that there's one of two ways you could have gone. You could have

00:17:46.020 made that choice to be a better man, or you could have continued to loathe and self-pity. And I think

00:17:52.320 it's important. Like my friend, Ed always says things happen for you, not to you in your life. And it's

00:17:57.940 those choices that you make in those defining moments that define who you become as a man.

00:18:03.200 And, you know, it's, it's kind of like the struggle. I think of the story, the butterfly,

00:18:07.800 right? It's, you always want help in those moments. You want someone to come in and save you. You want

00:18:12.580 someone to give you the answers. You want someone to give support in those times, a lot of times,

00:18:17.720 but that's not, it's the support and it's someone helping you. And all of those things is not going to

00:18:23.260 make you stronger. It's not going to get you to that breaking point where you make the decision

00:18:27.620 you need to, you need that struggle to, to, you know, for butterfly it's that struggle is pumping

00:18:34.920 the blood into their wings so that they are strong enough to be able to fly. And it's the same thing

00:18:40.980 for us. And we have to remember that. And when it's happening, try and realize it and realize we've

00:18:48.460 got two choices and we can go down this path of self-loathing, or we can go down the path

00:18:53.840 to whatever it is, our financial freedom, our sovereignty, our, you know, our leadership

00:19:00.120 abilities, whatever. Yeah, totally. Totally. All right. Jack Dean, we're going to get some good

00:19:06.960 questions here. As you know, I'm assuming you already heard the news last, last Thursday with our

00:19:13.680 executive order. So of course this, this had to make its way into this.

00:19:17.320 I had that feeling too. I'm like, great. My first one, this is going to be fun. I know a

00:19:22.820 question is going to come about the mandate. Yeah. And I, I actually, I mean, we're, we're

00:19:28.480 probably 120 employees and I was, you know, I spent hours Thursday night going, all right,

00:19:35.400 like what's what, right. And what is the details of this thing? So we can chat about that a little

00:19:41.080 bit as well as part of this question. But so Jack Dean, his question, he says, you said anything.

00:19:46.160 So here it goes. And it's not really a question. So but, but I think we talk about the scenario a

00:19:52.000 little bit because it, well, let me read what he wrote and then you can determine how you want to

00:19:56.200 respond. If a vaccinated or unvaccinated person can still get and transmit the stupid virus, then

00:20:02.780 what's the, what difference does it make if you are vaccinated or not makes zero sense yet people are

00:20:08.620 being forced to take this thing. And, and, and so, uh, like I said, not really a question, but,

00:20:14.400 but maybe just some initial thoughts. I actually flagged this question because out of all the

00:20:21.900 comments that were posed or all the questions that were posed, this one had a thread right underneath.

00:20:28.480 I was just going to say, I bet. And, and here's the deal. And maybe Sean, my apologies,

00:20:33.260 maybe I'll just kind of speak my piece really quick. So I read through these comments and

00:20:39.580 everyone's going back and forth. Uh, you, this, you know, calling each other names,

00:20:45.140 where do you get your information from? You're an idiot. No, no, you're an idiot. Like just back and

00:20:50.880 forth. And here's the deal. Cause I, cause I saw the noise about it and I thought, you know what?

00:20:56.060 We got to bet, be better critical thinkers than this. So I'm going to call you guys out and I don't

00:21:02.100 even have your names, but I don't call you out anyway. Here's the deal. Are any of you doctors

00:21:07.080 or specialize in this technology as an, as an expert? And the answer is no. Half the time,

00:21:14.640 every opinion that anyone has is a form of regurgitation of information from somewhere else,

00:21:19.720 right? Like Sean, you read something and you go, Hmm, you critically think, and you might agree

00:21:24.500 right now. You're still regurgitating information. And when you hop on Google and you do some Google

00:21:30.120 search, it's confirmation bias. Of course, half the shit I see is going to be stuff that I already

00:21:36.440 kind of agree with that. We know that these algorithms exist in our world. And, and I'm not,

00:21:41.960 and I'm, I'm not even taking a stance of like, what's right and wrong here. What I'm damn is taking

00:21:46.700 a stance is what we need to stop doing is immediately attacking individuals for having a different

00:21:53.060 point of view. Like here's the reality. The problem in society today, I think the biggest problem we

00:21:58.300 have is we don't debate that we actually don't listen to someone else's point of view and go,

00:22:04.280 that's interesting, Sean, but I read this study and said this, what do you think about that? And you

00:22:08.800 and I have a dialogue and actually have a conversation realizing that all the stuff you're

00:22:15.200 bringing to the table is based upon research that you've done. It's not yours. It's, it's someone

00:22:20.260 else's information that you're regurgitating. I'm doing the same thing. Who knows if our,

00:22:24.800 our sources are even valid sources and let's have a conversation without actually attacking one

00:22:29.880 another. That is what needs to happen. And from my opinion, from the, now the executive,

00:22:35.500 this mandate, I think is complete BS and I highly disagree with it, but, and I disagree with it.

00:22:41.600 Because the approach should be knowledge, communication, have the discussions. That's

00:22:49.280 why I hate censorship of information or misinformation. Why it's misinformation based

00:22:54.520 upon whose opinion, right? This, the thing that this, this virus came out of a lab in Wuhan was

00:23:01.260 considered conspiracy talk and was canceled for months. Oh wait, we're wrong. No longer. It's like,

00:23:09.700 whoa, you know what? That's the valid thing that should be happening. We should have conversations.

00:23:14.840 We should have debates. And if Sean, you as a government official wants to convince me to do

00:23:21.420 something, then why don't you actually bring some knowledge to the table and convince me?

00:23:26.220 Not force me, not course me, not limit information for me to read. Actually let's use some intelligence

00:23:32.720 and let's get people to make the decision because we have a decent argument and we've had a debate

00:23:38.680 about what's best. That is what needs to happen. Not like canceling each other out. All right.

00:23:44.460 There's my soapbox. Absolutely. No, I'm on board with that a hundred percent. And I saw a post on

00:23:51.100 nine 11 yesterday. And what it basically said is I missed nine 12 and not the fact that that tragedy

00:23:59.480 happened. And we were kind of recovering from that as a country, but that we came together

00:24:04.680 and Republicans were hugging Democrats. Uh, you know, it, you could have been a non-vaxxer or

00:24:10.460 vaxxer and, and you would have helped each other that day. None of that mattered. And, um, you know,

00:24:16.300 I think of this government works in such a strange way. And especially in our country, because we have

00:24:24.640 what happens federally, and then we have what happens state to state. And a good example of that

00:24:29.900 right now is with the ruling in Texas with abortion. And, you know, it's, it's, that's people

00:24:36.300 are flipping out about that too. And then they're, they're flipping out about the vaccination mandates

00:24:41.260 and I'm with you. I don't agree with the mandate for the vaccinations, but I also don't totally agree

00:24:47.980 with the mandate from Texas that you have to have an abortion, you know, before a certain point

00:24:54.880 and that you cannot do it past, you know, what was it? Uh, six weeks, six weeks. Yeah. You know?

00:25:01.080 And, and so, and by the way, I'm anti-abortion, right? Like I, I don't believe in abortion and

00:25:05.640 that stuff. Now, do I believe it in certain cases? Yeah. Rape abuse, you know, health issues for

00:25:12.500 the mother, you know, if there's, if it's a very high risk pregnancy and, and, um, you know,

00:25:18.900 you could lose the child and the mom, then those circumstances to me are circumstantial.

00:25:24.880 Right. And it's something that needs to be prayed about. And, you know, for those families

00:25:28.420 that they make that choice, but it's the same thing, my body, my choice, right. Is what's

00:25:32.560 screamed. And then those same people screaming that can say, no, you have to get, you know,

00:25:37.560 this shot there's hypocrisy there. And so again, and, and like Texas, and I'm going to get guys

00:25:43.560 mad at me, especially here, you know, about the thing in Texas. Um, but I, again, it's to me,

00:25:49.460 government overreach on both cases. And that's something that I would hope that we could agree

00:25:56.660 on, um, for that because all of it impedes our freedoms, our choices, and all the things that

00:26:03.700 our country was founded on. And I've done so much federal government work as a consultant. I've worked

00:26:09.240 with the military and the federal government. I can't think of the most, uh, most inefficient

00:26:14.340 organization that I've ever dealt with in my entire life. Right. So when I think like, Oh yeah,

00:26:20.560 let's give an organization in charge to like do something for like 250 million people. I'm like,

00:26:25.680 yeah, horrible idea. Right. And, and I, and I'm in the great state of Utah and it's funny because

00:26:33.460 I'm like, you know, I hear stories of our friends in New York and they're like, man, the world's falling

00:26:38.540 apart. I'm like, uh, not where I live. We got this shit figured out. We're running smooth. Like

00:26:44.340 I don't need federal government telling me what we need to do in our local school. They don't know

00:26:48.620 our kids. They don't know the details of our, of, of what we're doing in our neighborhood or let

00:26:53.880 alone within our state. But yet someone in Washington DC knows what's best. Really? Yeah.

00:26:59.820 Like we, this is basic chain of command kind of scenarios too, right? This is called delegation,

00:27:05.240 right? And let the States govern themselves better. So it's, I don't know, it's, it's a crazy,

00:27:11.160 I don't know. I just, it makes me frustrated because so many people have a, have an opinion

00:27:18.620 of like all council culture. It's so negative, but, but yet if it's okay to counsel in my space,

00:27:24.100 right, it's okay to name call and shut other people up and attack them. You know what I mean?

00:27:29.760 Here you go. You want to address something? Everyone learn how to date debate appropriately

00:27:34.180 and follow the rules of debate and actually bring some logic to the table and have some valid

00:27:40.120 conversation and focus on not being right, but focus on trying to be the individual that can find

00:27:46.100 the right answer. Yeah. Well, listen to how frustrated you sound and you're in Utah. I'm in

00:27:50.860 California. I mean, you want to talk about squandering our tax money and, and as much taxes as we pay,

00:27:57.200 and especially myself, right? I'm in the highest bracket like that. It's ridiculous how much we pay

00:28:02.000 for them to squander our money and, and, you know, the deal with that. And then you have these

00:28:07.200 politics, like right now they're trying to recall Gavin Newsom. We vote for that tomorrow. And, uh,

00:28:13.520 and then you look at the LA times printed a piece calling Larry elder, who's like the most likely

00:28:20.480 candidate for the Republicans. That's going to make it here. And they called Larry elder, the black

00:28:25.840 face of white supremacy. That's what they printed. They put that to, you know, front page news,

00:28:31.740 in the times it's ridiculous that that's the kind of propaganda that's being put out there.

00:28:36.980 You know, the, the, the, the, and, and again, there's not a Democrat or Republican thing. It's just,

00:28:41.540 if you, if you're calling yourself the party of inclusion and tolerance, you're going to go

00:28:47.080 call a black candidate, the black face of white supremacy is not very tolerant, not very inclusive.

00:28:53.580 And, um, and it's so that they can win, you know, and so it's become more about winning

00:28:58.860 and less about the actual issues, you know, and trying to figure out, you know, and, and I'll end

00:29:04.420 with this and then we can both get off the soapbox because I, you know, and, and, and even though the

00:29:10.840 homeless thing is a big thing now, I, in, in my business, you know, I sit with thousands of people

00:29:16.260 all the time in different fields, in different areas. And I sat with this lady about 18 years ago

00:29:20.620 who worked for a nonprofit in LA and she worked with the homeless and they had homeless shelters,

00:29:26.620 not just shelters, but homes, like kind of like condos that they could live in and, and be in.

00:29:32.660 And I asked her, I'm like, man, isn't it frustrating? There's not enough of these places

00:29:36.460 for all the people that are out there. This is down near Skid Row. She's like, what are you talking

00:29:40.240 about? There's plenty of places. It's not that there's not enough. It's that we can't get these

00:29:44.460 people to want to stay here and they get free housing, free showers, free, but there's rules that

00:29:50.460 they have to abide by to be in these, follow the rules that they don't get ruined. And they don't

00:29:54.540 want to have to follow those rules to be in there. And so there's all this funding. It's not that

00:29:59.640 there's not enough housing. It's that there's not enough people willing to do it. So they're not

00:30:04.820 focusing the dollars in the right place. They just keep dumping money into programs that aren't working.

00:30:11.460 It's, I mean, gosh, you want to talk about frustrating and it's, it's ridiculous. Yeah.

00:30:16.780 Yeah. And, and, and so for some of you that, that don't know, cause I, this is a public service

00:30:22.660 announcement at now. So, so this mandate Biden is making the vaccine mandate go through OSHA

00:30:30.460 and OSHA has released zero details in regards to what this means. So as much as we got all this

00:30:37.660 announcement of every employer with a hundred employees has to blah, blah, blah. There's zero

00:30:41.940 details about it. So just so you guys know, like there's for, for us and for a lot of companies,

00:30:48.680 there's nothing to do yet. We're still trying to figure out like what this looks like because OSHA

00:30:53.900 hasn't put any, anything together. And between now and then who knows how much lawsuits get fired up

00:30:59.860 and who knows if this actually happens or not. So, but anyhow. All right. Darius Vaughn,

00:31:06.340 where's a good place to purchase survival food and for emergencies, any opinions on survival food

00:31:12.840 for emergencies, Sean? There's three different companies we use. What's it called? Provident

00:31:19.580 Pantry is one. Mountain House. I think a lot of, most people know about Mountain House. And then

00:31:26.420 there's one, I have my daughter and my wife are both, they have issues with gluten. They get really

00:31:32.460 sick if they eat it. And so we have a lot of gluten-free stuff from, uh, August, August and

00:31:38.400 farms. I think it's called August and farms. They make a lot of real good gluten-free food storage type

00:31:43.580 of stuff too. You know, I don't know if we have, yeah, we have buckets and buckets of wise food

00:31:50.740 storage, W Y or W I S E wise food storage. Um, we mostly do all dry pack. Um, after Katrina,

00:32:01.420 I was kind of like, yeah, having a whole basement full of cans that you can't take with you is

00:32:07.780 probably, uh, probably not the best bet for, uh, you know, if I need to exit strategy and light food

00:32:13.360 to carry. So, uh, we mostly do dry pack. So, um, it sounds like you too, because some of those,

00:32:19.640 a lot of those foods are dry pack. We have both. Um, and then I'm also a different case because we'd

00:32:25.660 actually have a property with a, with a bunker, you know, full of a year's worth of, you know,

00:32:31.220 food for our family and stuff like that. And that's kind of like our off set place.

00:32:36.420 You're off grid place. All right. Yeah. All right. Michael Cooper, how do you improve your quality of

00:32:41.820 life as fast as you can? Quality of life as fast as you can. I actually kind of like this question.

00:32:47.620 Um, uh, I like it too. Uh, you know what you get better as fast as you can. Um, I mean, really

00:32:57.100 that's it. It's, and when you're doing it, it's when you first start, let's say that you see this

00:33:08.140 with the IC, right? Guys come in there and they've really, most of them have never done much personal

00:33:13.240 improvement. They haven't focused on it. And now they're making that decision. Okay. I need to get

00:33:17.740 better. I need help. I need accountability. And so they've never gone down that path. And when you

00:33:22.120 start, it's usually seems fast, uh, if you're doing it right, because you make decisions to it's

00:33:29.240 twofold. You have to decide what you're going to do that you haven't been doing. And then you also

00:33:34.420 have to decide second, what you're going to cut out. That's not serving you. Uh, I got that from

00:33:40.000 think and grow rich. You know, when I first started my path 22 years ago for self-improvement,

00:33:45.180 that was one of the first books that was recommended to me that I read. And in that book,

00:33:48.940 it says, you have to decide exactly what you want. So first decide that exactly what you want in detail

00:33:54.260 to where literally you could feel yourself in possession of it. Then second, and right after

00:33:59.720 you have to decide what you're going to give in return. So you have to get rid of those. And that

00:34:04.580 could be, most people think of like, Oh, I got to get rid of watching TV. And that's part of it.

00:34:09.440 Um, but what are you really going to give in return? Um, whether it's bad habits, whether

00:34:15.100 it's some things that, you know, that just aren't helping you get to your goals. And so

00:34:19.100 I'll use my own example for me at 22 years old, I was a heavy drinker that runs in my family. I was

00:34:25.000 like a six pack a day guy at 22, um, in my other job. And it was kind of like normal. It was, and in my

00:34:32.800 family, culturally, it was just something everybody did. And so, um, when I decided I wanted to change my life,

00:34:39.440 I realized that wasn't going to serve me long-term. So I had to cut it out. So I quit cold Turkey,

00:34:43.740 my language. I used to, my filler words were the F word mainly. And when that felt too repetitive,

00:34:50.140 I'd replace it with other four letter words. And to give you an idea, everyone in my family is

00:34:55.720 either construction workers, sailors, or bikers. The only one we don't have is truck drivers.

00:35:01.780 So it's like, when it comes to being rough, they're pretty rough. And so I thought, man,

00:35:08.360 if I'm going to be leading people, leading an organization, especially I'm in a financial

00:35:11.980 services company and financial services, I should probably clean up my language and the way I present

00:35:17.100 myself, the way I speak. And so those were majors, how I spoke drinking a ton, how I, how I dressed,

00:35:23.880 how I presented myself. And they, those were real major things. And, and you could tell instantly

00:35:33.120 people around me could tell like, what's different with you. Something's different. It's off. I like it,

00:35:38.120 but it's, it's different. And so, uh, if you're doing it right, people are going to notice that

00:35:44.380 quickly. So the fastest way, like I said, is to, you get better as fast as you can. And then it stacks

00:35:52.600 on what becomes important. So for me, it was business, uh, initially that made me make those

00:36:01.680 changes. And then I realized as I was leading into self-improvement that, gosh, you know what?

00:36:07.040 I don't really know what my faith is. I need to figure that out. I need to get stronger in that

00:36:11.040 because every successful person I've heard from talks about that. You know what? I need to get

00:36:16.200 better as a family person. I was a young single guy, but I wanted to be married. I wanted to have kids.

00:36:22.000 I wanted to have a magnificent family life. Cause I didn't grow up with that. You know,

00:36:26.540 my dad wasn't around my parents split. I watched my mom go through three divorces. My,

00:36:30.920 my third stepdad got, or my second stepdad got shot on my 18th birthday. And so just by some other

00:36:39.640 guy that was, you know, bad off financially in a bad spot, bad family life, all that, you know,

00:36:45.420 his life falling apart. And so I thought I've been so affected by negative family life. I want to have

00:36:50.060 the opposite of that and those things. And so starting to think of that, what I wanted in my

00:36:56.000 life, move me towards those things, but it was the initial step. And so it doesn't matter if you

00:37:01.660 want to get healthy, you want your fitness to get dialed in and you start with that. And you'll be

00:37:07.260 amazed at how that grows into all these other parts of your life. And then the last thing I'll say

00:37:13.780 is with that, you have to be putting good information into your brain and stopping the

00:37:20.480 trash. So the fastest way, and for most people, it's cutting out the news, cutting out TV.

00:37:26.980 Sorry. If you like watching, you know, binging and Netflix shows and stuff like that, but that

00:37:31.400 doesn't really serve you. It doesn't help you get better. It doesn't help you improve. And

00:37:36.740 definitely doesn't help you do it quickly. Cut out social media. That doesn't serve you. Most

00:37:41.720 people's social media time. They're not making money on it. Right. Ryan probably spends a couple

00:37:46.480 hours a day on social media because it's, it's part of his income. It's part of growing the brand,

00:37:52.120 growing the movement. He needs to be on there, but the average person just is going into the

00:37:57.220 algorithms. Like you said, they're getting fed all this information. That's really just going to

00:38:02.440 make them angry. And, you know, when you're angry and mad at stuff, you're probably going to take

00:38:07.260 less action to do much about it. And so you got to cut that stuff out and replace it by

00:38:11.900 good information, good books. And that's not going to be on social media. In most instances,

00:38:16.060 you got to listen to good podcasts. You have to read good books. You have to, you know, take that

00:38:21.820 information while you're taking it and, uh, come up with a game plan of how you're going to apply it

00:38:29.820 in your life. And the combination of those things is what makes it happen faster.

00:38:36.500 Yeah. I like it. Well, and, and I think there's, you know, for Michael, you know, I, I get those,

00:38:43.380 I totally agree with all those, but I, but I want to give, I want to give an idea to,

00:38:49.500 you could do it right now. Yeah. You can, you can have an amazing life right now for the next hour.

00:38:57.140 And the way you do that, I think Michael is being fully present and have an integrity

00:39:04.620 and what that means. And here's the, here's the shakeup. You're right. You want to have a great day

00:39:10.740 right now, pause and evaluate what relationships in your life are incomplete, that you have not

00:39:20.200 addressed something that you should have been addressed, that you've pushed off because you

00:39:24.560 don't want to do it because of some fear, some uncomfortable conversation or whatever,

00:39:28.460 and live right now, live in the moment right now, complete those relationships and show up today,

00:39:37.060 how you should show up. You're right. I love the concept of just who you are being right. And it's

00:39:44.880 like, you can have strategy and we need that strategy for long-term growth or whatever. Right.

00:39:51.080 But at the root of it, it's like, how do you plan to walk in the conference room today?

00:39:57.740 What kind of man should you show up when you walk through the door and see your family?

00:40:02.340 What do you say to your wife and kids, right? Like be that individual right now and don't delay it.

00:40:09.680 And don't think you have to get things in place to show up a particular way.

00:40:12.960 That's my take. And I think for me, that is what, that's how I ensure that I live in the present

00:40:22.600 and that I find gratitude and happiness is by living in the moment and not focused on,

00:40:29.440 because I think at least for me, that's such a natural tendency, right? It's like, well, I'll be

00:40:34.020 happy after, you know what I mean? The someday, someday I need to do these stuff. I need a someday.

00:40:40.800 It's like, no, there is no someday. There is like, tomorrow is a word in our language that

00:40:47.500 represents something that does not yet exist. There is no tomorrow, no guarantee. Right. So

00:40:54.340 it's like, how do we show up today? How do we find fulfillment in whatever we're doing today?

00:40:59.140 And I'd say, show up that way. Awesome. All right. Next question. Ben Farby.

00:41:07.340 Well, we'll see if there's anything we could add to this. When asked to do something you don't agree

00:41:13.340 with at work, specifically related to Biden's latest mandate, do you resign? It's your only

00:41:19.300 income stream, but you have six to 12 months of savings. Hmm. You know, this, this is such a personal

00:41:29.440 thing. It's, and you know what, this is, this is what I was talking about earlier. This is, uh,

00:41:35.460 hoping someone's going to come in for you at that difficult time and that difficult moment in your

00:41:40.380 life and give you the answer. I think this is maybe one of those things for him, you know, now in saying

00:41:47.060 that I would say you need to ponder it. You need to pray on it. You need to, if you, if you don't agree

00:41:54.140 and you don't want to do it, I wouldn't say you quit. Um, I think it's more effective for you to

00:42:00.000 say, you're not going to do it and maybe let them fire you if that's going to be your choice,

00:42:04.560 but immediately you need to be taking action to whether it's find another job or career or do

00:42:10.400 something, whatever it's going to be to replace. And Sean, correct me if I'm wrong, this, this advice

00:42:15.760 you would say is the, any scenario by which your employer is forcing you to do something that you

00:42:20.260 don't want to do. Right. Absolutely. Anything. And, and, and, you know, this came on people,

00:42:25.680 but like you said, it's, it's not going to happen immediately. Now, some companies are already doing

00:42:30.300 this. There's a, I have a friend, I live over by Amgen. And if you've never heard of Amgen, they,

00:42:35.640 they make, uh, uh, drugs for cancer patients, uh, mostly cancer drugs and, and they very large company,

00:42:44.500 very, uh, growing company. And they, uh, one of my buddies is an executive over there and he,

00:42:51.940 they've already put in mandates before all this came out of, they have to get vaccinated or they're

00:42:56.900 fired. And he was at my house the other day and he was telling me about that. I'm like, man,

00:43:01.000 how do you feel about that? And he's like, you know, I, I try not to feel about it because it's

00:43:06.480 just something we have to do. And, um, and I'm like, but doesn't it bother you that they don't have a

00:43:11.600 choice? He's, and he blanked like straight up, looked at me and said, they have a choice.

00:43:17.200 And, uh, I was like, wow, well, how do they feel then? If you're not going to tell me,

00:43:21.260 if you're not going to shake, how do they feel? Because these are scientists, engineers,

00:43:25.740 you were talking about not being a doctor and understanding this stuff. Uh, these guys

00:43:29.880 understand it. It's stuff that they study. It's, they understand all the language. They understand

00:43:35.200 all the data. They understand the science, if you will. And they're pretty split. He said,

00:43:40.300 he said, some are for it. Some are against it. And they all have their reasons. It's all scientific,

00:43:46.340 but it's not, it's not purely. Okay. We're all in, we're getting vaccinated. Hoorah. It's, uh,

00:43:54.600 you know, they kind of don't know. And some guys are, are saying, no, I'm not going to get it.

00:43:59.640 And so it's, it's really a personal choice, but like I said, it's, I think it would be a mistake to

00:44:08.680 just resign because who knows how it's going to be implemented. Like you said, if it's actually

00:44:15.020 going to go down and all of that, plus you're losing out on any unemployment option, if you quit,

00:44:21.660 there's, you know, any of that stuff. And so you may still be able to collect for that. If you

00:44:27.140 stick around and, and, uh, just until they get rid of you. Right. And then, and then go from there.

00:44:36.560 But in the meantime, if you're that worried about it, I would say you work extra hard on a side

00:44:41.520 hustle, you know, like, like to the point, if you're like in a league or something, like you quit

00:44:47.160 that league and you put all that extra time into lining something else up. For sure. And I, and I

00:44:54.100 think it really comes down to make it your strategy, right? Don't sit back and go, Oh, what was me?

00:45:01.720 Right. Kind of what we've been talking about. Don't be a victim in this circumstance, come up with your

00:45:05.460 strategy and your strategy might be, Hey, I'm gonna stick this out and ride this out a little

00:45:09.560 bit, have some plan on the back end, or your strategy might be, Hey, you know what? I've done

00:45:14.300 my research. I feel good about the vaccine. Yeah. Whatever it is. Don't be a victim of someone

00:45:20.360 else's decisions and make sure you're in line with it. And then take the necessary action

00:45:24.080 to strategize, to do what's best for you and your family. Really?

00:45:27.720 Yeah. And some of the anti, you know, if you are anti-vax, um, maybe you get clear on why you are.

00:45:36.360 Yeah. There could just be these thoughts. And like you said, do that research and maybe you

00:45:40.380 figure out, you know what, this is okay. My livelihood, my family, my, you know, the support

00:45:45.320 of them. Um, maybe it's not that big of a deal, right? Yeah. You bite the bullet and do it. But

00:45:52.260 again, I'm not going to make that decision for you. Yeah, totally. All right. Dustin, uh, Matt

00:45:58.680 Barry, uh, I am new to the order of man podcast. I'm on the fence of joining the iron council.

00:46:04.460 How do I best explain to my wife, how beneficial it can be for us?

00:46:11.580 I mean, it comes down to what I said earlier, knowing what you want. And if you want to be in

00:46:20.580 the IC, there's going to be a reason for it. You want to be a better man in some capacity.

00:46:25.380 So know what that is and be able to go to her with that. Hey, look, I, I know I need to be a

00:46:31.840 better husband. There's some things I think I need some help with. It'd be nice to have some support.

00:46:35.700 I hear you get it in this iron council, um, you know, and, and go from there. It's, it's,

00:46:42.420 I think it'll help me career wise. It'll help me to network. It'll help whatever you want,

00:46:47.840 but you need to know those reasons so that you're clear because the more clear you are,

00:46:52.500 um, the easier it's going to be. Now, on the other hand, when I hear that, anytime I hear

00:46:59.760 something like this, I see it all the time with people in business, they're, they'll, they're,

00:47:03.820 they have no problem going out to dinner and spending two dropping 200 bucks on a dinner.

00:47:09.880 Yeah. But you'd spend, you know, what, honestly, I don't even know how much that IC is when I signed up.

00:47:16.140 And now I know it went up, but I don't, I could care less because it's such a drop in the bucket

00:47:21.860 for the value that I get by being there that I, I literally don't care, but I started doing that

00:47:26.960 22 years ago, whether it was going to Tony Robbins seminar or, you know, anything that was going to

00:47:31.780 make me better. I've gone to sales seminars and spent just tens of thousands of dollars

00:47:37.420 when I was broke, you know, spending thousands, spending hundreds that I didn't really have,

00:47:43.660 but I knew what it was going to make me who I could become by doing that. And that was more

00:47:49.260 important than going out. You know, I mentioned drinking and that kind of stuff. I, I took all

00:47:53.660 the money that I was saving from drinking and I put poured that into self-development. So,

00:47:57.860 you know, for you to spend 95 bucks, and then maybe you ask for six months and you say, Hey, just,

00:48:03.840 just give me six months, right? That's, that's 600 bucks. Let's call it

00:48:08.780 of me becoming better. Is it worth $600 for me? And maybe you do the Ben Franklin thing,

00:48:15.720 right? Where you did pros and cons and, uh, and you do that and figure out, uh, what you're going

00:48:22.840 to cut out, not what you guys need to cut out as a couple, but what you're going to cut out.

00:48:27.960 You know what? I spend money on this and over six months, I would spend X amount on this. I'm not

00:48:33.540 going to do that. And instead I'm going to do the IC. So we're not losing any money. Uh, but this

00:48:40.180 has the opportunity to make me better and improve our life together. Then maybe you do that and get

00:48:46.060 those six months and then you have to do it. Yeah. And improve it. Well, and that's the part I'm

00:48:53.040 wondering about, right? Like, uh, how do I convince my wife to, uh, sign up for this thing? That's not a

00:48:58.040 very expensive and it makes me a better man. I'm like, why do you need a convincer? Right. And,

00:49:03.000 and, and I don't know Dustin. Right. But like, I, I would probably suggest that if you feel like

00:49:08.920 you have to convince her of any guy listening, you feel like, Hey, if you came to the table and

00:49:13.860 said, Hey honey, I want to invest money in becoming a better man. And you have to convince her. It's

00:49:19.180 probably cause you've done this before you've done the same damn thing before of like, Oh, I want to

00:49:25.820 do this thing because I think it's a quick fix to me becoming a better person without much effort.

00:49:33.000 And, and you've done it and you didn't change and you didn't rise up and you didn't become a

00:49:39.040 better, better man. And because of that, you come along and say, iron counsel. She's just like,

00:49:43.800 uh, another one. Right. So if you get negative result in your ask, I would suggest that you

00:49:52.520 understand why, and you really get present to how you've been showing up in the relationship

00:49:58.440 that, that has affected her ability to trust something that you're wanting to do to become

00:50:05.100 a better man and own that. Don't make her wrong for it, but own the fact that like, Hey, you know

00:50:10.900 what? You've played a part in creating that perception. And what are you going to do differently?

00:50:15.060 And, and I, and, and trust me, it's, you know, if you are that guy and you've, you constantly keep

00:50:22.300 going to these sayings as quick fixes, guess what? Iron counsel is not going to be any different for

00:50:26.220 you. Yeah. You're going to go to the ICU. You're going to get on a team and you're going to probably

00:50:31.420 bring the team down and you might get kicked off the team and out of the iron counsel because

00:50:36.980 you're contributing zero. So what are you going to do different? I agree. All right. Dan, Karen,

00:50:46.660 Karen, see, I love how everyone gives me shit for not pronouncing names correctly. And I still have

00:50:52.960 to pronounce the names and read the questions even with Sean here. So I think it's the ongoing joke

00:50:58.200 to let Kip slaughter names. All right. What it takes to be happy is common knowledge. I like, well,

00:51:04.700 you'll see there's some benefit to this question. What it takes to be happy is common knowledge.

00:51:09.700 You can Google it and you can get the same results from every list, every psychologist,

00:51:14.200 every medical journal, meditate, control what you can control, exercise, eat healthy. Yet so many of us

00:51:21.540 are unhappy and struggling. So unwilling to do the things. What's the barrier between wanting to be happy

00:51:28.140 and knowing what it takes and actually being willing to do those things.

00:51:32.500 Hmm. The barrier I think is dissatisfaction. Uh, and what I mean by that is that you're not

00:51:46.020 dissatisfied enough. So actually I should probably say comfort is the barrier because you're, whether

00:51:53.260 you realize it or not, you're comfortable. And until you get real uncomfortable. And when I say real

00:51:59.160 uncomfortable, uncomfortable, uncomfortable enough that you want to do something about it, you're not

00:52:04.180 going to. And so most people say they want to do something. They just don't want to put in the work

00:52:10.680 to do it. Right. I mean, if you want to be fit, you got to work out. Everybody knows that. Just like

00:52:15.940 you said, everybody knows I have to watch what I eat. I have to put better fuel into my body. I have to

00:52:21.560 exercise and I'll be more fit. I'll be healthier. I'll feel better. Uh, but I don't want to have to

00:52:28.400 wake up earlier to go to the gym, or I don't want to have to start doing pushups. And we come up with

00:52:34.320 these excuses. I don't have the $60 a month to, to, for a gym membership or whatever it is, you know,

00:52:42.000 instead of just dropping and doing a bunch of pushups where you stand, right. Which is just as

00:52:47.060 effective. Um, and so it's putting in that work, but if you're not dissatisfied enough to where it's

00:52:54.140 hard for you to move and walk. And unfortunately that's what people wait for. They wait for something

00:52:59.520 to happen in their lives to make them dissatisfied or to make them uncomfortable. And then they decide

00:53:06.260 it's like the people that quit smoking 27 times. And then a loved one dies of lung cancer. And then all

00:53:15.220 of a sudden they can quit cold Turkey because it's important enough for them. And so I think that's

00:53:21.440 what the barrier is. You have to assess how comfortable you are. And it's probably more than

00:53:27.440 you're, you're giving yourself credit for. Yeah, for sure. And it's interesting. Well, and here's the

00:53:34.020 thought, right? So let's, if this is happiness, this is, we've described happiness is this, um, meditate,

00:53:42.620 control what's in your control, exercise, eat healthy. Really? How about actually make a

00:53:50.460 difference in the world? Yeah. Yeah. How about fulfillment? How about leave a lasting impact

00:53:57.560 and have a legacy? That's how you live a happy life is being fulfilled, right? Like, and these

00:54:04.700 things help don't get me wrong. I don't, I disagree actually. I don't think, I think these things play

00:54:10.480 a part in finding happiness and fulfillment, but it's not what happiness is. I actually

00:54:16.600 energy to do it. Yeah, exactly. They're tools, right? But I think a life of happiness is a life

00:54:23.340 of fulfillment, a life with no regret. And I'll tell you this, at least for me, I'm not going to

00:54:29.040 get on my deathbed and go, Oh man, you know what? I loved a great life. I meditated and I journaled

00:54:34.300 and I exercised daily. No, I'm not going to feel fulfilled because I did those things. They

00:54:40.060 might help, but I don't think that's where happiness is. And, and what's ironic back to

00:54:45.000 what you're saying, Sean, is when we are serving other individuals, when we're taking on a problem

00:54:51.700 for fulfillment, yeah, not comfortable because you're probably tackling something that's not easy.

00:54:58.460 You're taking on something that's not easy. I mean, we could just use this movement as an example,

00:55:04.480 right? We could fairly say that Ryan has a level of fulfillment with starting the order of man

00:55:12.060 movement and the impact that it's made in our lives and other men's lives through the podcast,

00:55:18.080 the iron council, through the Facebook group and et cetera. You think that's easy? You think he wakes

00:55:24.860 up going, Oh man, you know what? Everything's going smooth. No, like we're, we're tackling things

00:55:30.780 that are not comfortable to tackle. We're taking on problems that are not easy to tackle. So find a

00:55:37.960 problem, make it your problem and find fulfillment. And the last thing that, that I always like,

00:55:44.060 I have to remind myself and I use this analogy with my kids. So my oldest son has issued Usher syndrome

00:55:49.680 and Usher syndrome is when you're born with a hearing loss. And then you start losing your

00:55:54.720 vision later in life. And when he was 14, he started losing his vision at this point. He's,

00:56:01.520 he has about a 5% degree, 5, 5% degree of vision left. And, and I use this analogy with my daughters

00:56:09.220 and my other kids quite a bit. I say, if Brendan woke up tomorrow and had all of his vision again,

00:56:17.640 do you think he'd be happy? Do you not think tomorrow would be the greatest day of his life?

00:56:24.720 But yet we wake up every morning with those, right? Every, every day I get to wake up and I get

00:56:31.480 to see everything. I get to wake up and not have injuries that impede me from serving other

00:56:36.340 individuals. So some of this is through meditation and journaling and, and centering ourselves and

00:56:42.640 being grateful for what we have. Uh, and, but I really, and, and, and I don't know why I'm hesitant to,

00:56:49.460 to accept that it's being present is really the answer. I think it's being present to the moment.

00:56:57.600 And that present is that I have a wife that loves me, but I have these wonderful kids in my life,

00:57:04.160 that I have a job that pays me good, that I'm part of something that's making a difference in people's

00:57:08.900 life, that being present to that and actually live in a life that's fulfilling by serving other

00:57:15.200 individuals. I think that's happiness. Yeah. I think of Helen Keller, as you say that, because

00:57:20.660 she was asked if it was sad for her to not be able to see and do the things that most quote unquote

00:57:26.460 normal people can do. She said, you know what? I think it's more sad to have vision to, to be able

00:57:31.160 to see, but not have vision. Yeah. And, and, uh, that's absolutely true. It's, that's not what makes

00:57:37.200 you happy because you adapt, right? It's, it's, um, it, uh, I have a friend who, um, got her arm

00:57:44.380 bit off by a shark and, uh, and she says, you know what? I have all these magnificent things that

00:57:50.920 have happened in my life because my arm got bit off by a shark. You know, that was, I don't know why

00:57:55.400 God chose that to be the thing, but he did. And it's, and I've lived this magnificent life. I've been

00:58:01.220 able to help other people. I've been able, I'm now this adaptive, uh, athlete and, uh, I'm not,

00:58:07.580 there's no hindrance to me. It's just different. And it was that adaptation and the overcoming of it

00:58:16.200 and the effect I've been able to have on other people's lives because I was able to overcome it

00:58:21.480 that has made me happy, you know, or I could have chosen to just been sad about losing my arm my whole

00:58:28.380 life. Totally. I like it. All right. Byron, uh, Pierce, why do you think so many people prefer

00:58:36.240 the negative outlook on life? I noticed people, uh, overlook the advice from people saying you can,

00:58:42.420 or it's not that bad and constantly feed on people saying it's too difficult or it's never going to get

00:58:47.800 better. Everyone is just so negative. You know, I think it's easier because being negative,

00:58:57.460 it it's, uh, I have this story, uh, about this negative, this optimistic son and pessimistic

00:59:05.900 son. And, uh, usually I get into the long story of it, but the gist is that this dad has these two

00:59:13.520 and he's telling his, his friend this one day that, you know, I have this, these two sons are so

00:59:19.220 different. They're night and day one. There's nothing I could do to make him happy that the other,

00:59:23.120 there's nothing I could do to make him sad. I wish there was a balance in between the two. And

00:59:26.940 his friend said, you know what, let me help you. Um, but you got to let me do anything I want.

00:59:32.300 He's like, sure. So next day there's these trucks pull in front of the house and one is filled with

00:59:39.920 all these toys and presents and a new bike and all this stuff. And the other is filled with horse

00:59:44.100 manure. And, uh, and so they start unloading the horse manure and they load it into one room and then

00:59:49.720 they unload all these presents into another room and the boys are at school and they get home from school

00:59:54.580 and they go into their rooms and the dad and his friend sit and they listen and, uh, they're

00:59:59.700 listening for the reaction. And all of a sudden they hear one boy crying. Oh my gosh, who would do this

01:00:04.360 to me? Who's tricking me? That's, that's not fair. Why does this kind of stuff always happen to me?

01:00:11.720 That's so cruel. Right. And then you hear in this other room, like, woohoo, woohoo. And they go

01:00:18.200 upstairs and they see the crying is in the, the pessimistic son's room who got all the presents.

01:00:25.240 So there's a new bike and these presents and all of a sudden he's literally saying they're

01:00:29.320 sitting there sobbing in the middle of all these gifts. This is, this is a joke. It's cruel. As soon

01:00:34.680 as I open them, someone's going to take them away. Your life is so cruel. People are so mean. And, uh,

01:00:41.080 and then from down the hall, they hear this woohoo. Yay. Yippee. I'm the luckiest boy live.

01:00:46.180 And they go in and it's the optimistic son. And he's literally in there throwing

01:00:49.840 hay and horse manure all over the place, like throwing it up in the air.

01:00:53.460 And they're like, what are you doing? And he's like, with all this horse manure,

01:00:59.040 there's gotta be a pony in here somewhere. Right. And so it's that story is really now.

01:01:06.680 Was there a pony? No, there's no pony. So he was wrong. So the reason I say it's easier is because

01:01:12.340 if you're a pessimist, you're always going to be right. You ever notice how the most negative

01:01:17.240 people, like the people that complain about the most negative things happening to them

01:01:21.040 have the most negative things happening to them all the time. It's just that self-fulfilled prophecy

01:01:25.980 and being an optimist, you're not always right, but it's such a better way to live. It's, it's,

01:01:33.240 it's, we're talking about happiness and that's where happiness comes from. That faith,

01:01:38.440 that blind faith, that things are going to be okay. It's all going to work out. That's one of

01:01:42.920 my mantras. It's one of my mottos every single day. It's all going to work out. And, and just,

01:01:49.100 I'm not always right, but Holy smokes, it's so much more fun through process.

01:01:54.700 Yeah. Well, and, and when it does work out, that's what makes it so exciting.

01:01:59.060 Yeah. You know, like that's what makes it feel so great, you know, nailed it, nailed that.

01:02:03.460 Yeah. Yeah. Like I, my wife and I, we just did load a jaw. It's a bike race from Logan,

01:02:10.180 Utah to Jackson, Wyoming, and it's 208 miles. And we did a two person relay and my knee,

01:02:17.580 my knees hurt. And I told my wife two weeks ago or about a week and a half ago, I'm like,

01:02:23.200 it's not happening. Like, I can't do this relay with you. Like my knees totally hurting. So I,

01:02:29.320 I didn't ride a bike for the last week and a half. And I was just like, I'm, I'm sorry, babe.

01:02:35.460 Like, you're going to have to have someone else fill in for you or whatever. Ironically, she knew,

01:02:40.000 she knows my personality well enough that she, as you admitted this, she's like, I knew you would go.

01:02:45.160 Like, I knew you would write it because your, your pride, you'd show up to this race and go,

01:02:51.040 screw it. I'm just going to do it. Right. And she's right. I totally did. Like literally the night

01:02:56.120 that we're driving up to Logan and spend the night and start a race at 5 AM or 6 AM in the

01:03:00.700 morning, the next morning on the way up, I'm like, you know what, maybe I'll just try that first leg.

01:03:06.720 I'll just do the first leg worst case, you know? And that first leg was 45 miles. I think I ascended

01:03:13.800 5,700 feet. Like it was just a gnarly leg. But the irony was, is like halfway through that leg,

01:03:23.100 I was like, I'm not, I'm not, not finishing this race. Right. Like I knew at that moment,

01:03:28.900 like, yeah, you know what? I don't know how this is going to pan out. I'm not sure if I'm going to

01:03:32.260 be able to walk, how my knee is going to do, but I'm just going to do this thing. And, and I was

01:03:36.960 committed to it. It was great to finish. Why? Cause I wasn't sure if I was going to be able to.

01:03:44.560 It's probably more satisfying than if you were healthy.

01:03:46.960 Exactly. That's my point. Right. It's like, man, you know, just sometimes just

01:03:51.940 putting the, the, going to the grindstone and just going, Hey, you know, I'm going to persevere.

01:03:56.900 I'm going to push through this. That's where the excitement comes from. Yeah. I mean, and I think

01:04:02.380 like through my childhood, I was raised, you know, my family's fairly poor. I have all kinds of crazy

01:04:08.340 stories I could latch onto from a victimhood perspective, but you know what? All those stories,

01:04:12.800 some of those best stories were hell. Yeah. And, and those are the ones I remember the most.

01:04:20.480 Those were the, those were the good days and it's ironic. That's how it works. You know, I've taken,

01:04:26.820 you know, boy Scouts up to like, we did a high adventure, what they call a high adventure. It's

01:04:32.480 like 50 miles in like five, seven days or something like that. We, we had an entire trip just go

01:04:38.820 sideways. It was disaster after disaster. It doesn't, it was a horrible, it held. I mean,

01:04:44.840 it was just so horrible to this day. Those kids are all like, Oh, I remember that trip. That trip

01:04:50.720 was the best. You know, it's like, that's how, like, if we all stayed home and said, Oh, you know,

01:04:55.760 it's too hard. We would have never remembered those moments. It's when we put it out there and we,

01:05:02.300 and we struggle, that's where the joy is. Well, let me ask you this question. This will be my question

01:05:07.400 is, uh, now you doing that. Is it just because it's your habit of, okay, this is what I do. I

01:05:15.960 overcome. I don't make excuses. Or is it even another level up where you say, you know what,

01:05:22.720 not only am I not going to make excuses, but I'm going to take away other people's excuses. And this

01:05:28.080 is going to be a story that I'm going to get to tell. This is going to be a great story someday

01:05:31.320 that I can tell people to help take away their excuse. Cause I know you're in a leadership position

01:05:36.320 plus doing this and to be able to go to people and say, Hey, look, come on, this isn't that bad.

01:05:41.240 Let me tell you what I've come across and been able to overcome. And, and you think that's an

01:05:47.180 element of it also? Uh, I think a little, it does cross my mind a little bit, like some,

01:05:52.340 sometimes, but in those moments, like I, like it was raining Saturday morning and we're getting

01:05:58.460 soaking wet. And I was, and it was kind of like a little bit of that Goggins, you know,

01:06:03.600 taking souls a little bit. I was kind of like good, you know what I mean? Like, like bring it

01:06:10.360 because, because every blisters and stuff, no, my, I, my socks is wet, uh, the whole time,

01:06:17.320 but it wasn't, I mean, it wasn't all that bad, but, but my point being is I was happy. Cause I was

01:06:22.300 like, yes, like this is going to break other people and I, and I'm not going to get broken.

01:06:29.080 You know what I mean? So it's, I don't know, it's in the moment, probably a little,

01:06:32.800 you know, dark, but, um, I don't know. I, it's just something, it's kind of weird how that works.

01:06:38.280 That's great. I love it. Yeah. Cool, man. Well, uh, we'll go ahead and wrap up. So, uh, in closing,

01:06:45.240 you know, a couple of things came up on the call when we actually had a couple other guys asking about

01:06:50.280 like join the iron council. Am I ready? You know what? Are you ready to get on the court in life

01:06:55.800 and actually stop being a spectator, then join the iron council. And if you're not, don't actually

01:07:02.680 don't, that doesn't serve us to have you join us and not be willing to put the work in and rise up.

01:07:09.900 And, and I know that sounds a little harsh, but guess what? That's how it shows up in life too.

01:07:15.280 Right. If you don't plan to show up in life and actually put in the hard work,

01:07:18.940 then what are you doing? Thinking that you should get married,

01:07:21.960 let alone have children or even work for someone, right? Like how you show up affects all areas of

01:07:29.620 your life. If you're ready to rise up, uh, and put in the necessary work, you can definitely are

01:07:35.700 willing to join us or are welcome to join us in iron council to learn more about the iron council,

01:07:40.520 go to order of man.com slash iron council. And as always, uh, follow Mr. Mickler on Twitter and

01:07:46.800 Instagram at Ryan Mickler, and then to get your order of man swag, which, uh, Sean and I are both,

01:07:52.860 uh, Oh, actually I have my polo on darn it. So Sean's repping the hat and the shirt. Uh,

01:07:58.440 you can find that swag at store.order of man.com, uh, to follow me, you can follow me at Kip Sorensen

01:08:05.040 on Instagram and Sean, any handle that you want to add at Sean VMD. All right. Awesome. Thank you

01:08:12.240 guys. And until next time and until let's see Friday field notes, take action and become the

01:08:18.520 man you were meant to be. Thank you for listening to the order of man podcast. You're ready to take

01:08:23.580 charge of your life and be more of the man you were meant to be. We invite you to join the order

01:08:28.200 at order of man.com.

Order of Man - September 15, 2021

Life-Defining Moments, Should You Quit Over Mandates, and Improving the Quality of Your Life ｜ ASK ME ANYTHING

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