Life Lessons Learned at 40 ｜ FRIDAY FIELD NOTES
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Summary
In this episode, Ryan Michler shares 5 lessons he has learned over the past 6 years about what it means to be a man. He also shares a few lessons he wishes he would have known 6 years ago. You are a man of action. You live life to the fullest. You embrace your fears and boldly chart your own path. When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time. You are not easily deterred or defeated. This is your life, this is who you are, and who you will become. At the end of the day, and after all is said and done, you can call yourself a man if you do what men do.
Transcript
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You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest. Embrace your fears and boldly chart your own path.
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When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time. Every time.
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You are not easily deterred or defeated. Rugged. Resilient. Strong.
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This is your life. This is who you are. This is who you will become.
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At the end of the day, and after all is said and done, you can call yourself a man.
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Gentlemen, what is going on today? My name is Ryan Michler, and I am the host and founder of the Order of Men podcast and movement.
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Guys, if you're new today, what I need you to know is that we are championing the cause of masculinity.
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There's many elements of society, including, frankly, the government, that don't want men to be men.
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They don't want men to be masculine. They don't want men to act like men. They don't want men to do what men do.
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And it's my job to give you the tools and resources and conversations that you need because you know as well as I do that society is in need of strong, capable, bold, skilled, masculine men.
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And as these individuals and the powers that would be continue to undermine and dismiss and attempt to dismantle what it means to be a man,
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it's our job to make sure that we do what we need to do to be able to serve others.
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And that's what it actually means to be a man, is to be in service of others.
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You can see here on my hat, I've got the logo, Order of Man, and right here, Protect, Provide, Preside.
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Your job as a man is to protect, provide, preside.
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Now, I wanted to share one thing with you, or quite a few things, actually, with you today as I talk about an event that transpired last weekend.
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It was my 40th birthday, so I'm going to share with you a couple of lessons that I've learned, not over the 40 years,
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but I would say over the past six years that I wish I would have known earlier.
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Before I do, if you would, and you want to share what we're doing here, and you want to support what this movement is all about,
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and I need your support, then if you would, please just leave us a rating and review.
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If you're listening to this on Pandora, or Spotify, or iTunes, or Stitcher, or SoundCloud, wherever.
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Wherever you're listening to this podcast, if it's on YouTube, whatever.
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Just go in, leave a rating and review, let people know, take a screenshot of this episode,
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because I'm going to share some very valuable information that, again, I wish I would have learned earlier.
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Your brothers, your cousins, your fathers, the boys that you're mentoring on your sports teams,
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or maybe it's colleagues and coworkers, or employer, employees.
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Because what they're hearing is garbage, it's filth, it's nonsense.
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And again, as I said earlier, it's an attempt to undermine masculinity at every step,
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And this is how we combat that level of thinking that has permeated the school system,
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permeated academia, permeated the medical community.
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And now we see it into corporations and society and culture at large.
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So with that said, let's get into a couple of lessons, five in particular,
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that I have really, really honed in on over the past six years.
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And I will preface by saying this, that at 40, because again, my birthday was last week,
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over the weekend, at 40, I never thought I'd be this old first, and it's not that old,
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but I never thought I'd get to this point, that I'm in the best position that I am or ever have
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been in my entire life. Physically, mentally, emotionally, I'm satisfied and not satisfied,
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but I'm happy. I'm happy with where I am. I'm fulfilled. And I know a lot of guys aren't
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experiencing that. I know that because I hear from you. You guys send me messages on Instagram,
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or you shoot me an email, and those of you who have my number will shoot me texts. And I know
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what it's like. I know what you're experiencing. I know what you may be dealing with. I know the
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hardships that you're struggling with. I know the relationship that you're in might be on the rocks
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or worse. I know that your physical fitness is declined drastically from where it's been in the
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past. I know the bank account is suffering. Like, I know you guys are having a hard time
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and others are not, but I've been there. And it isn't until the last six years where I've learned
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these lessons that I've began to dig myself out of the hole that I had created. You know, it's very easy
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for us to say. And I think a large part of culture would have you believe that you're a victim and
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that everything that's wrong in your life is the result of somebody else's wrongdoing or slight
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against you. And there might be some truth to that. But you know, as a grown man, those excuses that
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you have expire, whether you came from a broken home or you were abused or any number of things that
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could have happened, a shitty hand that you may have been dealt in life. And that's just part of the
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deal. You know, not everybody's going to have the perfect hand and you've got to play with what you
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have, but too many men are blaming it and assigning that responsibility over to somebody else. And what
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I would encourage you to do is take responsibility. And that doesn't mean that you have to overlook
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people's faults or you have to bring people back into your life that may have harmed you.
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That's not what taking responsibility is. Responsibility is just taking ownership of your path
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moving forward. And I wish I would have taken responsibility earlier. And I wish I would have
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learned these lessons earlier. So with that said, number one, the first lesson that I would suggest
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to you is that you have to plan out every single day. It is incredible to me how many men, excuse me,
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I have something stuck in my eye here. That's why I keep checking my eye. I don't know what's going on,
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but it is incredible to me how many men don't plan out their days. They have no strategy. They have no
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plan of attack. They have no priorities listed and documented. They have no system in place whatsoever
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to be able to attack their day and to make it effective. And you know, what's interesting is
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even without a plan, you might be somewhat effective. You might have a good day. You might
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have a productive day, but if you don't have a system in place, not only is it going to happen
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less frequently, you don't know how to replicate it. And that's very important. I learned this lesson
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long ago when I was getting started in my financial planning career, as I would work on my presentation
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skills and then my, my first sales pitch that I would, I would talk with potential new prospects
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with. And one of my trainers said, Hey, you know, even if you just get it right, you just wing it
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and you get it right. The problem is you can't replicate it. You can't go to your next meeting and
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do the same thing. And the next meeting and do the same thing in the next meeting and do the same
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thing. And it wasn't until I replicated the process that I could actually evaluate it to see
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whether or not it worked. And that's the beauty. That's part of the power of having a planning
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system that you're using every single day so that you can go back at the end of the day and decide
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with, with some level of objectivity, whether or not the day was productive and effective for you.
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Cause if not, you're going to base it on your feelings. Oh yeah. Like I feel like I got a lot done
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or I don't, I don't feel good about what I accomplished or, you know, maybe who knows? Like,
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it seems like I did a lot. Well, you might be moving a lot, but really, are you really even
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moving the needle? You know, you might be very active, but activity doesn't always equal prudence.
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And so you feel like, well, you know, I've been busting my ass all day or all week. And so like,
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surely I must, must be in a better position. And yet you're still fat. You're still broke.
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Your relationships still suck. So you were busy, but you were busy doing the wrong thing. So
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my first point that I wanted to make with you guys today is that every day has to be planned.
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Now I don't care what it looks like for you. I've got a system that I use and I've made it
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available to the guys that tune in. And I'll talk to you about that in a minute. But I don't care if
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it's a piece of paper, if it's a Google calendar, if it's a free app that you have on your phone
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or any number of other individuals like Jocko or Andy Frisilla or whoever it may be that you follow
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and they have a planning system and you've decided to incorporate that. Cool. That's great.
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The biggest thing for me is that it works for you. So I just want to reiterate if it's my plan or
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somebody else's plan or your own plan or a combination of all of the above great, but do
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it. Now the planning system that we use is called the 12 week battle planner. We've got it in a journal
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form, which is the one I actually happen to use the most because I like being able to write it down.
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There's something powerful for me and not punching away on my phone, but writing it down.
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But we have the paper version. And then we also have the app, the digital version,
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which you can find at 12weekbattleplanner.com, 12weekbattleplanner.com. And I'm not going to
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drone on about what the planning system is. It's like beating a dead horse. I've talked about it
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over and over and over again. If you're just tuning into the podcast, just go back. And anytime that
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somebody asks a question on one of our ask me any things or talks about productivity or systems,
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we always talk about the battle planner. So it's there. But again, number one lesson over the past
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six years, up until me right now being 40 years old, is that you've got to plan out every single
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day. And by the way, one last thing on that, and then we'll move on. This doesn't end just because
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it happens to be Saturday or Sunday or whatever your weekend days are. It doesn't mean that you don't
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get to plan. I mean, I guess you could, you have the right to not plan. But what I see a lot of guys do
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is they'll go hard for three, four, five days because that's what the task requires. And then
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they think the weekend is like, kick up my feet, drink a bunch of beer, slack off, don't do my
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workouts, don't foster and nurture the relationships that I have and just take it easy. And then they
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take three or four steps back for every one or two steps you're taking forward. Use the weekend
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and your days off to recharge and relax and rejuvenate and maybe reprioritize and strategize,
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but don't slip. Don't lose ground on the weekends ever. Don't ever do that. You should be constantly
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marching, maybe a little slower, maybe a different pace on the weekends, but you're still moving the
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needle, still moving forward, still doing your plan, even though it may look different than what
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a Monday or a Wednesday might look like. Okay. All right. Number two, learn from the absolute best.
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Learn from the best. Now I am in the fortunate position that I have at this point interviewed over,
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I want to say it's right around 350, highly, highly successful men. Okay. These are guys like
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Granger Smith, who we just had on Steven Rinella, Ethan Suplee, David Goggins, Jocko Willink,
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Andy Frisilla, Tim Kennedy, John Eldridge. If I do this, I always leave people out and I don't want
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to do that because of the 350 men that we've had on the podcast, they've all taught me something.
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And in a lot of ways, I feel like I'm the greatest recipient or beneficiary of the work
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that we're doing here because I'm the one who actually gets to have conversations with these
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guys. And I realized not everybody's in that position. It isn't luck. You know, some people
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say, oh, you're lucky you get to talk to these guys. It isn't luck. It's fortune. You know, I'll say
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there's some fortunate, a series of fortunate events. I happen to be born in the greatest country
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in the world. I happen to be born to a mother who loved me and who made sure I got what I needed
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physically, mentally, and emotionally so that I could be productive as I became older. I have
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all of those things that were outside of my control and I'm fortunate and grateful for those.
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But I also created this. You know, I've put forth a lot of effort. I think we've done a total of
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700 plus podcasts now, which means that if they average, I would say maybe an hour to an hour and a
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half, let's just for easy math, say it's a 700 podcasts for an hour on average. I mean, that's
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a lot of hours. If you think about it, that's a lot of one-on-one time with, again, the most successful
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men in the world. What an incredible opportunity. Now, just because you may not have that same
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opportunity doesn't mean it's there. And it doesn't mean that there aren't people in your circle or just
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outside of your current circle who could help you grow and develop and teach you things and mentor
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you and guide you and instruct and coach. They're there. Now, one thing I will say is that those
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people are not necessarily going to go out of their way and trip over everything to find you, to track
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you down, to teach you what it is you need to know. It would be nice if it worked out that way, but it
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doesn't. You need to show some level of assertiveness. Just with my podcast, people don't reach out to me.
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Occasionally, I will have somebody who I really want to have a conversation with reach out,
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but very rarely does that happen. No, I need to be the one taking initiative because this is my goal.
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This is my ambition. This is my desire. And if you have a desire to learn from the best
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people you possibly can, then that's on your shoulders. And you need to look at who's in your
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circle. You need to play the Kevin Bacon game, the six degrees of separation. Maybe you want to get to
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your CEO, but you don't have a direct contact. Well, maybe somebody can link you up. Or maybe
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you want a connection into a particular organization or company. And you have a friend who might be able
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to make a personal contact for you. Well, you're the one that has to reach out. You're the one has to
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be creative about how you're going to add value. You're the one who has to pitch that individual that
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I want to spend time with you or that I want to have a conversation with you. And I want to learn from
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you. You're going to have to do that. But also the barrier to entry to these individuals has never
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been lower. Not only do they offer their products and goods and services that you can purchase and
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buy, whether it's coaching or events or conferences or whatever that looks like, memberships, masterminds,
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et cetera, et cetera. But you can get direct access to their inbox on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook.
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Start following these individuals, comment, like, post, share, add value to their life. And when the time is
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right, then you might ask a question. And it's not every question, by the way. I get that sometimes.
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People will reach out and say, hey, Ryan, I have a question. And they'll proceed to share this novel
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that just based on my time constraints, I can't possibly get to. But if somebody reaches out and
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says, hey, man, I've been following you for a long time. And this is an individual who I acknowledge
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and I recognize and I know that they've interacted and engaged with me. And they asked me a very short,
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poignant question. Yeah, I try to go out of my way to answer those questions and help those
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individuals. Because I believe in the law of reciprocity. If I share and you share and everybody
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else is putting good out into the world, then that will be returned to you. But guys, wrap your head
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around the fact that we don't know it all. We aren't as good as we think we are. We don't know
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everything there is to know. There's always somebody who's better, smarter, faster, quicker, more
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intelligent, more creative, more successful. And that shouldn't be a threat to you. It shouldn't be a
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threat that somebody's better than you. In fact, if anything, you should attempt to make that person
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an ally. And that's what I've done. And that's why we're successful. Because I've made these 350 men
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allies of myself and our movement. And in return, they're willing to impart and share with me, but I'm open
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and receptive to it. And I take initiative to get it done. So again, we have number one, plan out every
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single day. Number two, learn from the absolute best. They're around you. Just got to take the
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initiative. Number three, over the past six years, I've poured myself into a cause greater than myself.
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And maybe more accurately than say I've poured myself into a cause is that I've created a cause.
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It's always been there, but I've identified it. And then I've created solutions to the problems that I
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see in society specifically regarding masculinity. The way we as men generally and typically are viewed
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in much of culture and the way that we feel about ourselves. And I acknowledge that as a problem
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because that is something that I dealt with. So instead of just me focusing on me, which at some
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points we have to, right? We have to get right first before we can expect to go out and help and share
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and lift and encourage other people. But this is a cause greater than me. And if I was doing something
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else, I would want this cause to continue. If I wasn't around, if I died today on my drive,
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wherever I was going, I would want this cause to continue. It's that important to me.
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Now, some people say, you know, well, Ryan, you're making money doing this. Yes, I am.
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And I've never made any qualms about that. I don't feel bad about that. I don't think there's any sort of
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guilt of mine associated with that because we add value to the marketplace. And in exchange,
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I ask that people partner with us. And sometimes that means they pay for a product or a good or the
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iron council or whatever. And sometimes, not sometimes, and then in exchange for that, then I
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add value to their lives. I don't feel bad about that. But that said, that doesn't take away the
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fact that it's a cause, that it's a movement, that there's a mission, there's a purpose behind this.
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Protect, provide, preside. It's to reclaim and restore masculinity. And there's a lot of facets to
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this. And there's a lot of ways and angles that I can address this and approach this and deal with this.
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But when I don't feel like doing things, elements of the business, whether it's emails or a particular
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podcast or podcast notes or any number of things that I have to do to keep the wheels turning,
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it's the mission that drives me forward. And it compels me. It's why I wake up in the middle of
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the night with ideas and thoughts. And I have to have a notepad by my nightstand because if I didn't,
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all these ideas would be bouncing around in my brain and I'd never get any sleep. And instead,
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I put a notepad by my bed on my nightstand. And if I wake up in the middle of the night,
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which I often do, I'll just lean over, write down that idea or that person I want to connect with,
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or that strategy, or that way I can add value to people's lives because it consumes me in a good way.
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It very easily could go south if I became obsessed at the point where it came at the expense of my other
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obligations and responsibilities, but it consumes me. And because it consumes me, it also compels me
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and drives me to do the things that need to be done to forward and advance the cause of reclaiming
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and restoring masculinity. But what is yours? What's your cause greater than yourself?
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I'm reminded of some books I have over here on my desk. John Eldridge, the author of Wild at Heart
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and several other books, of course, sent me, it looks like three or four copies of his newest
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edition, his improved edition of Wild at Heart, because we just did a podcast. That one's coming
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out soon. And John has one of my favorite quotes, and I believe it's in that book, Wild at Heart.
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And the quote is this, deep in his heart, every man longs for a battle to fight,
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an adventure to live, and a beauty to rescue. Let's forget about the adventure and beauty. I've
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talked about plenty of that. That's important, but let's forget about that for a minute.
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A battle to fight. Deep in his heart, every man longs for a battle to fight. And what's your battle?
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Traffic? Arguing with your wife over petty nonsense? Or is it something more significant?
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Is it something deeper, more meaningful? Does it give purpose to your life? Does it motivate you and
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compel you and inspire you? And if not, I get it. For most of my life, I would say for 34, 35 years,
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I didn't have that. And so, I was doing work that was good, but it wasn't greater than myself.
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Which is funny because I think about that. I have personal friends who are in the same line of work
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that I was in, financial planning, and they feel about financial planning the same way that I feel
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about what we're doing here. And what that tells me is that the cause greater than ourself
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doesn't always have to be the same. Every man has his own battle to fight. Mine wasn't helping people
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with their finances, but I have personal friends who feel the same way I do about this work with their work.
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And that's great. And they should pursue that. And that should be meaningful to them. And it should
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drive them to do great things. All right. Number four. Look, frankly speaking, number four, I wrote
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down here, is that I have set my bullshit detector to sensitive. Not that I'm trying to be sensitive,
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not like safe spaces and microaggressions, but that I've set my bullshit meter to sensitive.
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That I don't deal with drama, that I don't, that I don't do things I don't enjoy, or at least won't
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lead me to some level of joy. You know, there's things that I have to do throughout the day
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that I wouldn't consider adding joy to my life. Like answering emails, for example, doesn't add joy to
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my life, but it leads me to joy because it means that I get to connect with you guys and answer your
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questions, hopefully make connections, add value and enhance your life in some way. And so me,
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punching away, typing emails isn't my favorite thing. It isn't joyous for me, but it leads to
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a level of joy based on the cause greater than myself. And also, I don't have time to entertain
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a-holes. And there's a lot of them. They're not the majority, but there are a lot of them.
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And they're very good at getting to you. And it's like the Friday field notes I did last week,
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I believe it was, with tending your field. You got to weed that stuff out of there.
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Those weeds are constrictive. They're going to ruin your crop. They're going to mess with what
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you're trying to create. And that's why I set my bullshit meter to sensitive. At the first sign of
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drama, at the slightest little hint of somebody being a jerk or an a-hole, done. I don't have time
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for it. I don't need it. I don't want it in my life. I've got too many good things going. I've got
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too many obligations and responsibilities to deal with it. And as I'm hitting 40 years old, now over
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40, 40 in one week, that went fast. And if I live to average life expectancy, I don't exactly know
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what it is, but it's got to be right around, I would say, 82, 83, somewhere in there maybe.
00:21:57.300
I'm about the 50% mark. I'm about halfway there. And I don't have time to do things that
00:22:05.760
don't enhance my life. And some people will interpret that as being selfish. It's not always
00:22:12.080
selfish because I actually find value in serving other people. If my neighbor was hung up and we
00:22:18.460
needed to take care of their yard or their weeds or mow their lawn, we would do that. And that gives
00:22:23.660
me a sense of fulfillment and purpose and meaning. So it's not always a selfish endeavor.
00:22:29.160
There's ways that you can serve other people, but also uplift yourself and edify what it is you're
00:22:33.180
doing and how you feel about who you are. So think about where that meter is for you.
00:22:40.220
Do you tolerate it? What's the adage? You encourage what you tolerate? Or do you cut it out ruthlessly?
00:22:47.800
To go back to our crop analogy, if you have weeds and vines growing all over your garden and your
00:22:54.980
plants and your vegetables, are you just going to leave them there and say, oh, you know, I think a
00:22:58.600
little bit is okay. Or if you went to the doctor because you were feeling sick and your body wasn't
00:23:05.940
doing well and the doctor said, hey, you know, you have some cancerous cells in your body.
00:23:11.420
You know, you can live, you can function right now, but it's going to get worse. And he said,
00:23:16.440
oh, no, I'm okay. I guess I'll wait till it gets worse. No, you're not going to do that. You're
00:23:21.740
going to be ruthless about ripping that stuff out of your body, ripping that stuff out of your garden.
00:23:31.240
And yet we spend so much time in our everyday lives with careers and people and relationships and
00:23:40.320
conversations that just rot our souls. Cut that stuff out, set that bullshit meter to where it
00:23:49.200
needs to be set and then listen to it and act appropriately. You'll be so much more satisfied
00:23:54.200
and you'll have more time to do the other things like plan and learning from other people and
00:23:58.100
engaging in a cause greater than yourself. And the last one here, guys, is that at age 40 years old
00:24:04.660
now, I'm very comfortable with who I am. And I haven't always been that way. I've always struggled
00:24:10.480
with confidence issues. I've struggled with issues of fitting in or even exerting myself and putting
00:24:17.260
myself out into other situations where other people were. I think inherently, I tend to be a more
00:24:23.360
secluded individual, which might sound like a shock based on the work that I'm doing now,
00:24:29.040
but that's because a cause greater than myself. I realize it's so important. I got to put myself out there,
00:24:33.640
but I was dubbed when I was in the final years of elementary school and into middle school,
00:24:40.360
I was dubbed the hermit, the hermit crab, or I think it was just the hermit. I can't even remember
00:24:44.700
anymore, but I think it was just the hermit because I wouldn't come out of my shell. You know, people
00:24:49.800
would invite me to go do things, whether it was a party or an outing or an activity or this or that,
00:24:54.420
or even after the football game, you know, let's go do this thing. And I'm like, man, I don't want to do
00:24:57.880
that. And so I was dubbed the hermit. And I never really fit in. Like, I never really felt
00:25:04.740
comfortable fitting in. I was never, you know, the cool kid, none of that. And then for years and
00:25:11.300
years, probably even decades of my life, I spent time chasing around other people, doing what they
00:25:16.700
were interested in, trying to get their approval and their validation of me. And it was exhausting.
00:25:22.900
And the more I did it, the more uncomfortable I was with myself. Like I wanted to fit in. And the
00:25:28.020
more I tried to fit in, the more out of place that I actually felt. And at age 40, I finally feel
00:25:37.600
like, well, I feel like I don't need to fit in. Actually, I was going to say fit in, but I actually
00:25:42.160
it's, it's different. It's, I don't, I don't have the desire to fit in. I don't need to be like
00:25:46.920
everybody else. I don't need this person's approval or that person's acceptance or this other person's
00:25:51.220
validation. I don't need it. I'm satisfied with where I am. So how do you get to that point by
00:25:56.640
winning battles with yourself? That's it. It's by winning battles with yourself. Because if you
00:26:02.420
don't win the battle of getting out of bed, when you say you will, or don't win the battle of going
00:26:05.540
to the gym, or don't win, win the battle with your diet choices and don't win the battle with
00:26:10.040
other temptations that may come into your life. And you don't win the battle with the negative self
00:26:14.440
talk and, and the activity that, you know, you should be taking. And you don't win the battle with
00:26:18.580
executing on the plan that you've created. You're going to feel like a loser.
00:26:25.340
And I, and I think that, that a lot of culture these days would tell you that, well, you know,
00:26:31.500
like you should just accept that you feel like a loser because you're, you're, you're overweight and
00:26:36.880
you're fat and you're out of shape. And well, you should just accept that. No, you, you shouldn't
00:26:40.580
accept that. Why would you accept something that is less than, you know, you're capable of.
00:26:45.660
And then we wonder why so many men are depressed and, and anxious and suicidal.
00:26:52.920
Well, there's a lot of reasons, but I think one of the big reasons is that they've started to buy
00:26:57.480
into the lie that they're just supposed to be satisfied with being 50 or 60 pounds overweight
00:27:01.540
or that relationships just suck. You know, like marriage is hard and everybody goes through
00:27:07.480
divorce and you know, this is, this is the way it is. And, and when, when you hit the seven year
00:27:12.220
itch in your marriage, then you know, you've kind of hit that, that max and just, this is life.
00:27:17.180
And you're supposed to work in a cubicle and for somebody else in an office space for the next 40
00:27:21.760
years. And you get your little pension and your retirement package. And like, you know, this is
00:27:25.560
life. I'm not going to settle for that, but when you resign yourself to that, is it any wonder why you
00:27:32.080
feel like garbage? No, go win battles with yourself. When the weaker, lazier, more pathetic version of
00:27:40.860
yourself says, no, we should sleep in, shut it down. When that, I call it the natural man, when
00:27:46.840
that natural man tempts you to do something, you know, you shouldn't be doing, shut it down and
00:27:50.740
instead do something else. What you're, you're, you're elevated man. I haven't thought about what
00:27:55.380
it was called, but, but I would say maybe you're like your elevated version of yourself or your
00:27:59.320
future version of yourself. Maybe it's a contract with a future version of you.
00:28:03.860
So you're, you're, you're trying to decide you've got, you've got these choices that you could make
00:28:07.520
at the end of the day. Do you sit down and grab a beer and sit your ass on the couch for the next
00:28:10.780
three hours? That's what the natural man would do because he's tired and he's lazy and he's pathetic
00:28:14.780
and he just wants to relax. Or do you negotiate with the future version of yourself, get him involved
00:28:21.800
in the mix and say, what would the future version of Steve or John or Joe or Ryan do? And that's the guy I
00:28:27.080
want to listen to, not the natural man, the future version of myself. And that guy would go play with
00:28:32.200
his kids. That guy would drink a bunch of water instead of the beer. That guy would turn the TV
00:28:37.440
off and go have conversations with people. That's what that guy would do. So let that guy get involved.
00:28:44.220
And when he does, you're going to start to feel comfortable about who you are and your desire and
00:28:49.000
your need to fit in with everybody else is going to be irrelevant. I know that I'm a little quirky.
00:28:55.040
I know that I can be a little strange to other people at times. I know that, frankly, I have a
00:29:00.540
hard time relating with other people and they have a hard time relating with me at times. I can be
00:29:05.220
relatable, sure. But by default, I'm just kind of this quirky individual as we all are. We're all like
00:29:14.320
that. Everybody's like that. It's just a difference of whether or not you feel... And by the way,
00:29:19.840
the people that want others or that others want to be around are the ones that have embraced some of
00:29:26.180
those quirkiness and attributes and things that you have going on. That's the irony of the thing
00:29:33.180
is that the more you try to fit in, the less you will. But the less you try to fit in, the more
00:29:37.040
comfortable you are because you win those battles with yourself, the more other people want to be
00:29:40.580
around you. It's kind of a cruel irony, but it is what it is. Okay. So guys, there's my five
00:29:45.960
lessons that I learned, again, not in 40 years, I would say in six years. And they have been
00:29:51.440
invaluable in my life over the past five, six years as we've grown order of man and I've grown
00:29:57.440
my family and we've moved across the country and we've started other businesses and engaged in new
00:30:03.140
hobbies and activities and interests. These have been invaluable. Let's recap. Number one, plan every
00:30:07.820
single day. Yes, even the weekends. Number two, learn from the best. They're around you. You don't have
00:30:12.900
to start a podcast to learn from the best. If you want to, cool. I commend you. And I encourage you
00:30:17.940
to do that. But there's other people in your circle that might already be in your circle that
00:30:22.680
you've never reached out to, or might be just outside of your circle. And if you were a little
00:30:26.000
bit creative and took some initiative, you can find out who those individuals are and connect with them.
00:30:30.360
Number three, find a cause greater than yourself. It's got to be bigger than yourself because there's
00:30:35.260
going to be some crap you're going to have to go through. And if it's not bigger than yourself,
00:30:37.660
you won't go through it. You'll sit on the sideline. Number four, set that bullshit detector to
00:30:41.920
sensitive. Don't deal with the drama. Don't deal with the baggage. Don't deal with the jerks.
00:30:48.960
Don't do it. Don't do things that don't bring you joy, or again, at least lead to it. Set that
00:30:54.060
detector to sensitive. And then number five, begin to get comfortable with where you are, who you are,
00:31:01.500
how you're showing up. And you do that by shutting down the natural man and winning the battle
00:31:06.880
with the elevated man or the future man, the future version of yourself. Okay. All right,
00:31:12.920
guys, as we sign off a couple of things, check out the battle planner. We've got this in the store,
00:31:16.780
store.orderman.com. If you want the written version, if you're more interested in the battle
00:31:20.540
planning app on both Android and Apple devices, you can go to 12, the number 12, 12weekbattleplanner.com.
00:31:27.640
And you can download that. There's a free version and an upgraded version. Also, if you're a member of
00:31:31.820
the Iron Council, the battle planning app is included in your membership. So if you're on
00:31:36.200
the fence about that, get off the fence. Maybe that's a lesson number six, no sitting the fence,
00:31:40.900
make some choices, choose a side, pick a side, make the choice, get off the fence. And so if you're on
00:31:46.200
the fence about the Iron Council, join the Iron Council, not only are you going to have the
00:31:49.100
accountability and the brotherhood and the camaraderie, but you're also going to have access
00:31:52.300
to the battle planning app. Other than that, leave a rating and review, share with other people,
00:31:57.600
what you're listening to and what you're getting value from. Share with me, shoot me a message,
00:32:01.480
Instagram is the best place, guys. I'm really trying to blow up the Instagram account right
00:32:04.880
now. I think we're at 80, I don't know, 86, 85,000, somewhere in there. Let's hit that 100,000
00:32:11.560
mark. And we can do that by sharing, reposting, taking screenshots, mentioning, commenting,
00:32:17.320
engaging with me. Let's blow this thing up. Culture needs it. Society needs it. And it's up to us.
00:32:23.000
You know, we're men. When things go south, people look to us. So let's not wait until it gets bad
00:32:27.820
or catastrophic. Let's deal with it now. And we do that through the mission and the cause of what
00:32:32.020
we're doing here to reclaim and restore masculinity. All right, guys, we'll be back next week. Until
00:32:36.800
then, go out there, take action and become the man you are meant to be. Thank you for listening
00:32:40.980
to the Order of Man podcast. If you're ready to take charge of your life and be more of the man
00:32:45.840
you are meant to be, we invite you to join the Order at orderofman.com.