Order of Man - Live by a Code ｜ BRADY "TOTANKA" CERVANTES

00:00:00.000 Whether he knows it or not, every man lives by a code, but without intentionality about what that

00:00:04.860 code is, it's easy to get lost in a world filled with chaos and clutter and distraction at every

00:00:11.120 turn. Unfortunately, it's not always easy to identify the code that you want to live by

00:00:16.240 and then consistently measure up to it. And that's why I wanted to have a conversation

00:00:20.760 with my guest today, Brady Tatanka Cervantes. He is a former Marine Corps sniper and more

00:00:26.660 recently a professional bull rider. Today, we talk about his experience as a sniper, how

00:00:32.000 it translates into civilian life, the struggles of transitioning in life, how to clear your

00:00:37.560 head in chaos, and of course, how to establish and live by a code.

00:00:41.980 You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest, embrace your fears, and boldly chart

00:00:46.680 your own path. When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time, every time. You

00:00:52.280 are not easily deterred or defeated, rugged, resilient, strong. This is your life. This

00:00:58.560 is who you are. This is who you will become. At the end of the day, and after all is said

00:01:03.620 done, you can call yourself a man. Gentlemen, what is going on today? My name

00:01:08.160 is Ryan Michler, and I am the host and the founder of this podcast, and of course, the

00:01:12.620 movement that is Order of Man. If you're joining us for the first time today, and this is the

00:01:16.080 first you've ever heard of Order of Man and what we're doing, this is a mission to reclaim

00:01:21.060 and restore masculinity. I do that by having conversations on this podcast with incredible

00:01:27.600 men. Guys like Jock Willink, Grant Cardone, Andy Frisilla, David Goggins, Tim Kennedy.

00:01:33.740 I say it every week. We've got an incredible, incredible lineup of men to learn from, and

00:01:38.260 that's what this is all about. Learning from other men who have done incredible things,

00:01:42.680 whether it's scholars, athletes, New York Times bestselling authors, entrepreneurs, men

00:01:48.220 who have been successful in their lives. We interview them. We have conversations with

00:01:52.560 them. We extract the information and the experience and the knowledge they have, and then

00:01:57.060 of course, challenge each other to implement it in our lives, to improve our lives as

00:02:01.060 fathers, husbands, business owners, community leaders, coaches, neighbors, friends, whatever

00:02:05.500 capacity of life we're showing up. We also have a Ask Me Anything show, which is released

00:02:11.320 every Wednesday, and then a Friday show, which is just my thoughts from throughout the

00:02:15.260 week. So if you're not already subscribed, you want to make sure you get subscribed as

00:02:19.640 soon as possible. By way of announcements today, before I get into the conversation, I don't

00:02:23.720 have very many. Number one, I wanted to introduce Origin Maine to you guys. A lot of you have

00:02:28.420 heard me talking about them. If you're into jujitsu, which I have been upping my jujitsu

00:02:33.620 game over the past several weeks now, since I've moved here to Maine and I'm closer to

00:02:38.380 these guys, check out Origin. They've got geese, rash guards, the supplemental lineup

00:02:44.060 with Jocko, that's the Malk and the joint warfare, which I have been using because as

00:02:49.740 I've been a little bit more active with jujitsu, it's really good for the joints. So make sure

00:02:54.580 you're checking that out. If you're strength training, if you're doing jujitsu, if you're

00:02:58.420 physical, which you should all be physical. So you should all be taking joint warfare,

00:03:02.040 but they've also got other stuff. You can go check it out. Origin Maine, as in the state

00:03:06.120 Maine, originmaine.com, and then use the code order, O-R-D-E-R at checkout. And you'll get

00:03:11.640 a 10% discount when you do. The other announcement guys, I'm excited to announce this. You have to

00:03:16.800 get on this very, very quickly because if you don't, I promise you, you're going to miss the

00:03:21.000 boat. It's going to happen quick. It's going to sell out quick. And I want to have you here at

00:03:26.540 my property because we're going to be doing an event in August. It's going to be August 9th

00:03:33.680 through the 11th. Again, that's August 9th through the 11th, the main event. We're doing it here on my

00:03:38.800 property in Maine. We're going to have two, two and a half days of instruction information. I'm bringing

00:03:46.460 some guest speakers in, of course I'll be speaking, but we're going to be doing some

00:03:50.260 jujitsu. I'm working closely with origin about getting a tour of their facility. We're going to

00:03:56.020 be doing some other activities, manly activities, if you will. It's not going to be something where

00:04:00.840 you're just going to be sitting in a conference room or a hotel, listening to somebody yap at you

00:04:05.900 for the next two days. I don't want to do that. You don't want to do that. This is going to be a

00:04:09.720 very interactive event, probably unlike you've ever been to before. That is the ultimate goal.

00:04:15.520 If you haven't seen any of our videos of what we're doing for events, go check them out on YouTube

00:04:19.540 on the order of man channel. And you can see a little bit about the type of events that we put

00:04:24.020 together. And I don't even like calling it an event because it's more like an experience.

00:04:28.220 So you're going to want to get to this, but I only have 75 spots, 75 spots is all. And also if

00:04:34.220 you're part of the iron council, there's a dinner the night before an exclusive dinner the night

00:04:39.180 before. I'm going to tell you more about the iron council in a bit. You can check that out

00:04:42.660 at order of man.com slash iron council. But if you are interested in attending the event,

00:04:47.500 then you want to go to order of man.com slash main event and main is the state main. So main event

00:04:55.540 order of man.com slash main event, get signed up quickly. Only 75 spots. I can't imagine we'll have

00:05:01.820 this up and available for more than, I don't know, two or three days before we sell this thing out.

00:05:06.100 All right. I'd love to have you there. Make sure you get signed up as quick as possible. Again,

00:05:10.140 order of man.com slash main is in the state main event. All right. That's all I've got by way of

00:05:15.580 announcements, guys. I want to introduce you to my guest today. He is a interesting individual,

00:05:20.040 somebody that I admire and respect. I don't really know him all that well, but I met him several

00:05:24.840 months ago. I was at a Soren X is a summer strong event. And as I got to know him over a couple of

00:05:31.240 days, I was really blown away with and impressed by his, his level of clarity and quiet confidence and

00:05:38.220 also humility. And we're going to talk about all of that in the conversation, but Brady to Tonka

00:05:42.900 Cervantes spent, uh, 10 years in the Marine Corps as a scout sniper. Uh, he had several deployments

00:05:49.240 throughout the world, including two deployments to Iraq. One of them was around the same time I was

00:05:53.800 there in, uh, in Ramadi and also two deployments to Afghanistan. But after his military service,

00:05:59.220 he began training as a lead instructor for several different tactical training companies.

00:06:05.360 Uh, he started in a survival TV show called kicking and screaming. Uh, and then more recently,

00:06:10.380 he's decided to get on the back of a 2000 pound animal because he rides bulls professionally with

00:06:17.680 the PBR. So fascinating, fascinating man. Got a lot of great information to share. I was really excited

00:06:23.080 to be able to have this conversation with him. Uh, and I think you guys will be not only impressed,

00:06:27.500 but you'll take a lot away from this as well. All right, guys, I hope you enjoy.

00:06:30.440 Brady, what's up brother? Glad to have you on the show, man. I, uh, I know we talked a couple of

00:06:36.020 weeks ago or gosh, I don't know. It must've been maybe even a month ago, but, uh, I've been looking

00:06:40.080 forward to our conversation since. Oh, absolutely, man. Ryan, thanks for having me on. Yeah, you bet.

00:06:44.580 You bet. We had a good conversation at Soren X and I thought your story just, man, it really resonated

00:06:48.540 with me and it hit home. And I know a lot of guys would resonate as well. And before we hit record,

00:06:53.920 we were talking a lot about just what you've been up to and riding bulls and working land and everything

00:06:59.320 else. And man, I'm always, uh, I'm always fascinated with, uh, with guys that are doing,

00:07:04.080 you know, interesting and unique things. And that's certainly something that, uh, would describe

00:07:07.660 you well, I think. Oh yeah, man. It's, um, yeah, it's something that's more just like trying to stay

00:07:13.320 busy rather than, um, I don't know. Um, I guess when you don't look at it like a passion, always you tend

00:07:22.120 to do it a little bit better because there's less pressure on you to do your passion, but my passion

00:07:26.980 just outdoors and always staying active. So yeah, it's, it's just something that I try to keep in

00:07:31.440 mind. Yeah. Yeah. As, as, as being outdoors and doing all this kind of stuff, has that been a

00:07:36.940 passion of yours always, or is this a new development or, or how did you grow up, man? Um, yeah, it's

00:07:43.500 always been a passion of mine for the outdoors. Um, I grew up around my dad a lot. We were just

00:07:49.380 always, um, he was playing pro softball when I was growing up and, um, he, uh, he would take me

00:07:57.280 with him on, on wherever we'd go and we'd always stop off on parks or, and like when I say parks,

00:08:02.840 I mean like national forests and state parks and state rivers and stuff like that. And, and we'd get

00:08:11.100 out and go trek for a couple of miles and he'd teach me, you know, just like, Hey, if you ever lost,

00:08:15.740 look up this way, or, you know, look on the moss on the trees and stuff like that. So it just kind

00:08:20.740 of came from, um, that on the outdoor life of just always wanting to be out there and learn about it,

00:08:27.140 you know, cause I wanted to just kind of have that, that skill, I guess. And then on the other

00:08:31.900 side of it was, I was always in athletics, so always being active and, um, just kind of always

00:08:37.380 going that route. Um, just kind of how I, how I went about it. Yeah. Is your, uh, is your dad still

00:08:44.620 with you? You're, are you snapping at your dog? Is that your dog there? Uh, that was one of the

00:08:48.600 dogs. There's a couple of dogs in here. No, I know how that goes. We've got a couple of dogs as

00:08:53.120 well. So I, I get that. Um, but yeah, is your, is your dad still with you? You talk about him,

00:08:57.980 you know, looking at, looking to signs or whatever. So. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's, um, he is,

00:09:03.300 he lives here in Dallas. So, um, he's about 75 years old now. So he's a, I was the, I was the baby of

00:09:10.200 everyone. And, um, by that time, parents were just kind of like, Hey, figure it out. Uh, well,

00:09:16.860 you know, we'll help you out along the way. Um, just kind of give you a guidance and wisdom and

00:09:22.640 whatnot. But, um, if you get arrested, don't call here. So is that right? Is that what they'd say?

00:09:28.320 That's funny. That's what my mom would always tell me. And so, you know, those times actually came,

00:09:33.180 but, um, you know, I was a little, when I got to like eighth grade to high school, I was kind of just a

00:09:39.280 little hellion and just was bored. Yeah. So, so what'd you get into? I mean, you said you got

00:09:45.120 arrested. So what'd you get into at that time? Um, so when I was, I started chewing tobacco pretty

00:09:51.900 early on, just being around the culture and everything. And so it just, um, I, I got caught

00:09:59.040 with it when I was like 15 or 16 and, uh, so something stupid, not a, not a big deal. I was 15 and

00:10:05.180 I never, I never followed up on it. And, um, so it turned into a warrant. And so we were,

00:10:12.900 you know, being kids when we were 16 once and hanging out in this old, uh, abandoned warehouse

00:10:18.340 down the road from the high school. And, um, I guess someone called it and, um, called it in.

00:10:24.680 And all of a sudden we're walking out the door in the little plate glass, uh, window there. It was,

00:10:30.300 it was a, um, just a cop standing there. I was like, Oh shit. And I was holding this really cool

00:10:35.660 piece of wood. And as soon as I opened that door, I was like, sir. And he goes, put that down. I was

00:10:39.580 like, Oh crap. But I didn't even realize that. Like I get where he's coming from. He probably

00:10:43.800 thought it was. Oh, for sure. Yeah. No doubt. So, um, the other two got to go home cause they didn't

00:10:48.780 have anything on their record. And so here I am with an outstanding can of tobacco. Right. Just

00:10:54.960 something stupid. And I spent the next 48 hours in the orange jumpsuit. Like. Did you really?

00:11:01.700 They arrested you for that? Yeah. I guess they wore it. They took me in and, and, um,

00:11:07.880 um, over there at Denton County. And, um, so yeah, that's crazy. I know I was, uh,

00:11:14.520 I called my mom and she was like, it's like, well, have a good night. She kept you in there. Dude,

00:11:19.620 that's rad. That's, that's actually a good thing. I think more parents probably, especially now more

00:11:24.280 parents ought to be more like that, but they're really not. No, they're really not, man. And it

00:11:28.940 shows in all the kids as far as like respect or perspective goes. Um, you know, you, I still,

00:11:36.380 there's still people here hating on, um, others because they can't stop to think about how they're

00:11:43.940 addressing their issues or something like that. And that just comes from maturity. And it's funny

00:11:48.080 cause like, I could remember as a kid stopping and thinking, you know, if I call this person out,

00:11:52.340 have I done anything wrong that where am I to call these people, you know, cast the first stone.

00:11:56.540 And there's, there's still people to this day, you know, in our thirties that, that are, that are

00:12:01.740 acting like fucking kids just because the way they grew up, you know, they weren't really exposed to

00:12:06.560 that, that, that stuff firsthand. And so they got to learn it later on. And it's just, I don't know.

00:12:11.320 I feel you're like, you're doing a disservice to your kids by doing that.

00:12:15.060 Yeah. I mean, to me, it seems like just, just a complete lack of,

00:12:18.520 of consequences for our decisions, right? I see parents so many times that, you know,

00:12:23.980 they bubble wrap and coddle their kids and they won't let them experience life. Not, not only the,

00:12:28.620 the good side of life, but the negative side as well, you know, like spending, spending your night

00:12:32.500 in jail, you know, and, and that sucks. And she was probably heartbroken.

00:12:37.220 It's super cold in those things. And they give you a, like a, a little broom core wool issue blanket

00:12:42.040 for this slab of metal that you got to lay on. Yeah. Yeah. Well, and it's funny, what's funny

00:12:47.700 about it too, is I bet your mom and your dad probably didn't even sleep that night, you know,

00:12:51.440 thinking about where you were and yet they did it anyways, because that was a good learning,

00:12:55.480 learning opportunity for you. It was man. Growing up, my father would always let me go.

00:13:00.920 My parents would always kind of let me, well, it started out, I'd go on my own and figure in,

00:13:05.020 and get into these situations and I would figure my way out. And, um, my sister, the next oldest,

00:13:10.560 um, was always like real clingy to my mom. So we were almost exact opposites. And so I would go

00:13:17.140 through these, these, these things in life and, you know, lessons or, or, or an accident on my bike

00:13:24.520 or, or messing up at school, forging a signature or something like that. And if I got caught, you

00:13:29.340 know, my father would ask me, you know, like, well, son, what did you learn from this? If I didn't

00:13:34.380 have anything to say, he would just kind of look at me and go, and he'd go, and he'd go,

00:13:40.560 do his thing. But if I had to say, if I had at least one little thing, he'd talk me, he would

00:13:45.020 talk to me about it and talk me through, you know, what the what's and the why's and different

00:13:50.080 perspectives and everything like that. So quickly I started to, cause it happened a lot. And so it

00:13:56.060 didn't take long before I caught on and I was like, okay, I better learn something from everything I

00:14:00.180 go through. And I think that helped me out by learning perspective, um, throughout life.

00:14:06.040 And so it just kind of like different ways to look at things and, and, um, you know,

00:14:11.040 put yourself in different compared to shoes, so to speak. So for sure. Yeah. That it's funny.

00:14:15.020 That silence is huge. I know when my mom would get disappointed with me as I was growing up,

00:14:19.100 if she was quiet, that's when I knew like I had really, really messed up.

00:14:23.600 Yeah. Yeah. Or when you get the, I'm not mad, I'm just disappointed.

00:14:28.280 Yeah. Oh, for sure. But I think that's a lot of what's missing. I mean, just to go back to what I

00:14:33.680 was saying earlier, whether parents are in the picture or in the house or not, like, I think

00:14:37.580 what's missing a lot for guys is that they, they never had that, right? They never had anybody look

00:14:44.400 up to and to model and to behave like, and then it spills over into their marriage and their career

00:14:51.000 and their other parts of life. And they just struggle because they never had the feedback.

00:14:56.000 Like when my mom would disengage and she was disappointed to your point, that was feedback

00:15:00.580 for me saying, okay, you messed up. That's not the right behavior. What can you do better next time?

00:15:06.220 That feedback was huge for me. Yeah. And I think those kids that kind of are bubble wrapped,

00:15:12.980 you know, even when they get into those positions, they're, they're, they, they know, okay, I did

00:15:21.760 something wrong, but then they go and do, try to, try to fix it or try a different way. And their

00:15:26.020 parents are like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. You remember what happened last time you got

00:15:30.380 hurt. Let's just not even do it. And they won't even let them go through again. And then that's,

00:15:34.160 that's almost toxic to not just, you know, whether it's a girl or a boy, but just to humans in general,

00:15:42.620 because what, you know, when you fail to allow your kids to adapt, you know, that's when evolution

00:15:52.440 will start to curve in a different direction than the right way. For sure. Yeah. Cause you'll learn

00:15:58.200 from it. Absolutely. Exactly. Exactly. And you'll learn how to adapt. And I think, um, just kind of

00:16:04.140 of being through those situations that growing up, you know, jumping off the cliff that you don't

00:16:09.340 realize is pretty shallow down at the bottom or, or, or anything like that. Where did you learn to

00:16:14.400 toss a rock in first? You know, probably because you jumped off a cliff and hit your bot, hit your

00:16:19.280 butt on the bottom and it got that little sharp pain, you know, just little things like that, dude.

00:16:24.760 And most, most kids these days would be like, no, my mom said, I can't jump off that cliff because

00:16:29.500 it's too high. You know, it's like, fuck, I was the kid like cow bug, a motherfucker.

00:16:33.400 And I'll figure it out on the way. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, you know, some of that stuff can

00:16:39.560 be dangerous. Right. And so I think a parent's job is to find that middle ground between, all

00:16:43.920 right, what's going to put my kid in danger and what does he or she need to learn the

00:16:50.480 hard way in a way. Absolutely, man. And that danger comes

00:16:53.560 from, did the parents ever go through that? Sure.

00:16:57.120 You know, so how are they going to know a solid level rather than, and then, yeah, you have

00:17:02.000 books, you have podcasts, you have all these other things nowadays, but you know, I talked

00:17:08.220 to, I talked to my dad about his stories growing up and it's just like, he was always walking

00:17:13.500 the streets with his brothers, you know, they're playing with the neighborhood kids, you know,

00:17:17.840 ringing and knocking and running and everything like that.

00:17:21.240 Ding dong ditch. Yeah, for sure.

00:17:22.640 Yeah. And so like me being a kid, he would, I remember him looking at my mom sometimes

00:17:27.340 and like, just kind of being like, he's all right. He's all right. You know, like, and

00:17:31.380 just little things like that, because my dad was almost the same way as a kid. So I think

00:17:37.160 if those parents don't have that good baseline, it's going to take them longer to figure it

00:17:41.320 out. And by that time, their kid's going to be off to doing something else.

00:17:44.420 Well, and I think the other thing too, is, is making sure that your kids know that you

00:17:48.700 messed up. Like, I think there's this generation of parents who think that I can't tell them

00:17:52.720 about any of that stuff. Like I got to model the perfect behavior and you know, I get that.

00:17:57.920 I understand that. But with my kids, I try to tell them the ins and the outs and you know,

00:18:02.120 even things that I struggled with when my boys mess up or my daughter, I try to share with

00:18:06.960 them experiences where I messed up in my life too. You know, I used to be that way or I used

00:18:11.960 to struggle with that and here's what I did. And so I think this, this idea that, you know,

00:18:17.900 you don't have to paint the perfect picture. You just have to be real and then coach your

00:18:21.520 kids through that stuff is valuable.

00:18:22.980 You got to level with your kids sometimes instead of just being the whole, because I

00:18:26.900 said so type parent.

00:18:28.200 Yeah.

00:18:29.360 Yeah.

00:18:29.640 And I think, I mean, I really appreciated that. Sometimes my mom was because I said so.

00:18:34.860 And sometimes my mom was leveling with me. And then sometimes my dad was the other way

00:18:39.360 around to just, um, yeah, it, it fashions a lot of kids to be kind of either sheltered

00:18:46.940 or just rambunctious. I don't think that there's much of a middle ground anymore. And

00:18:52.320 if there is, then, you know, I don't even want to want to say it, but I'm going to go

00:18:58.140 ahead and say it. You know, that middle ground is where they're trying to figure out if they're

00:19:02.040 either a boy or a girl or, or if they're crazy or not crazy or something like that. So it just

00:19:08.180 like, there's always that, that middle ground. I think now it's going to be that weird, um,

00:19:12.780 trying to figure out confused stage. And there's nothing wrong with that. It's just,

00:19:16.560 that's the middle ground nowadays.

00:19:18.640 Yeah. But I think at the same time, like there is something wrong with that. And I think what,

00:19:22.960 what it comes down to is that they're lacking some sort of mature guidance and direction.

00:19:27.900 And it should come from parents. In a lot of cases, I realize it doesn't, but it's got to

00:19:32.200 come from somewhere. There's got to be some sort of grounding source of information and energy.

00:19:38.680 So these kids aren't confused about what gender is or depression and suicide and all that kind of

00:19:45.260 stuff. If, if the parents aren't going to be that, that pillar that they can latch onto and reach out

00:19:52.500 and learn, then what they're doing now is when social media hit, you know, got big back in what,

00:19:59.620 2006 and all that stuff. That's what they turned to because their parents weren't so,

00:20:04.580 so much able to teach them things that they had never gone through. And so I think that

00:20:09.020 social media, there's so much crap on there and kids like, I know me when I first figured out the

00:20:15.400 internet and it became big when I was in grade school, it was like, um, man, I was a whiz on that

00:20:22.660 thing. And so nowadays these kids are like, man, I'm confused. I don't know what to do. Why do I feel

00:20:27.580 this way? I'm going to Google that. And talk to other messed up people. Right. Yeah. You have like

00:20:35.220 seven, now you have like seven different genders and, and, and like they're, they're praising people

00:20:42.760 who are like, Oh, he's transgender. Right. But he's, uh, Oh, what is it? Um, but he's, but he's not

00:20:50.540 claiming that he's crazy or, or dysphoria. He's not claiming that. And it's like,

00:20:55.060 you guys are going to come back full circle. Just wait. Just, I hope, I hope they do, man. I hope

00:21:01.140 they come back full circle and realize, but I mean, that's the point of parental guidance and

00:21:06.220 mature coaching is that, you know, we've been through all of that. Right. So look, I know what

00:21:12.040 it's like to be insecure. I know what it's like to like, try to figure out your spot in the world.

00:21:16.220 But fortunately for me, my dad wasn't in the picture, but I had a mom who was very grounded,

00:21:21.300 who had a good sense of who she was, who realized the value of, of masculinity and femininity. And

00:21:27.200 she taught me to, to the best of her ability, what she could and got me involved in, in sports so I

00:21:32.660 could be around other men. But you're the parent, man. Like, like be the parent, be the coach, be the

00:21:39.340 mentor. I think what we see too much is parents just want to be friends. I'm like, dude, I'm not my

00:21:45.240 kid's friend. Now is there element of friendship? Yes. But I'm, I'm a dad. I'm not going to step

00:21:51.260 off the mental of fatherhood in order to go to the lower mantle of a friend.

00:21:56.280 Absolutely. The only time that, that would either become relatively close to if you both

00:22:01.580 play the same sport or you're both in the same, you know, activity or something like acting or some,

00:22:07.260 or something like that. But other than that, like there should be a clear understanding of who's

00:22:12.360 the parent and who's the, who's the kid. Yeah. Not, not, oh my God, we look like sisters and

00:22:18.500 you're posting that all over fucking Instagram and shit like that. Right. It's like, Hey, you know

00:22:23.980 what? You do you, but I'm going to, I'm going to have my opinions and I'm probably going to keep

00:22:28.120 them down here. But at the same time, it's like, I still have my fucking opinions and you've got to

00:22:32.500 share those things. Right. And give that perception. I mean, it's just about, it's just a matter of how

00:22:37.200 you share them. You know, it's like, is it going to sound like I'm casting the first stone here or

00:22:42.640 am I going to be able to level with somebody that is completely different from me, but I can

00:22:49.020 try to get my point across in a very mature and understanding way.

00:22:52.980 Yeah. So where did you grow up? I mean, where in the U.S. you grew up?

00:22:56.760 I grew up here in North Texas, man.

00:22:57.900 Okay. And you've been there ever since, it sounds like.

00:23:01.280 Yeah, kind of. I guess you could say that.

00:23:03.480 I mean, you moved around with the military and things like that.

00:23:05.460 Yeah. And then I spent some time, I lived, lived out of my truck for almost a year, just

00:23:11.060 bouncing around Montana and the Rocky mountains and everything like that. Just training law

00:23:15.380 enforcement and civilian fun shoots and military guys and just working with them and gun companies

00:23:21.800 up there. And that was right after I'd been out for maybe six months or something like that.

00:23:28.700 And I just, you know, I, after the way I got out and cause I know I didn't ever really want

00:23:37.580 to get out. And so it was just a reduction of force type issue where they were pushing

00:23:41.260 guys out for dumb reasons.

00:23:43.340 Which is weird, man. When you talked about that, I had no idea. I mean, I was in the military.

00:23:47.580 I had no idea that stuff was happening.

00:23:49.340 Yeah. Some guys, you know, so like reduction of force can happen, whether you take an early

00:23:54.300 out for schooling or if you just don't have the requirements to be able to reenlist and

00:24:02.060 which was technically what I had in my case. And I was like, dude, I took that course back

00:24:06.220 in 2010.

00:24:08.000 2010. Um, and in late 2010, right after I re-upped and picked up sergeant. So I have

00:24:14.840 sergeant's course and they were like, well, you need it up to date. And here I was like,

00:24:19.940 well, even though I'm in the zone, I should be in the zone next quarter for picking up staff

00:24:23.860 and order. And they were like, well, sorry. And I was like, okay, look, I have two months

00:24:27.740 left on my, on my, uh, enlistment. Extend me again. Cause I already extended once. I was

00:24:34.740 like, extend me again, just one month. And I'll reenlist at the end of that course. Like

00:24:39.200 the day we get our stick, I'll reenlist. And they were like, nope, sorry. And I was like,

00:24:44.820 man, you know, like a year ago, y'all would have taken that deal and be like, oh, hell yeah.

00:24:48.740 Right. You know, but it's crazy because you have stupid reason. And so, you know, a lot

00:24:54.960 of us got pushed out like that and you think, okay, you know, they, they made their decision.

00:24:59.900 That's it. And you get out, you're like, okay, well I trusted the Marine Corps to this

00:25:04.600 point. Why, why should I not trust them? And then you start to think about it and you're

00:25:08.980 like, fuck man, what do I do? Like the plan was to do 20 and get out. And you know, I went

00:25:16.500 through some shit while I was in the military and never had a bad mark of conduct on my name

00:25:21.940 or anything like that. Yeah. I had written up, I mean, and all that shit, I was on the chopping

00:25:25.460 block, but always, uh, they always saw it fit to not give it to me. And so I was just

00:25:30.640 like, man, I did my time well for you guys. I went to combat multiple times. I went different

00:25:36.240 places, wherever you wanted me to go. And here you are just kind of like pulling the

00:25:41.820 rug out from underneath me. And, and it was so quickly that I didn't even realize it until

00:25:47.100 six months after being out. And that's when I hopped in my truck, bought my dog and, and

00:25:52.060 took off. I was like, man, I just need to decompress and get the fuck out of Dallas. Um, and, um,

00:25:57.060 the only reason I'm back here right now is because for the past years that I've been working

00:26:00.480 on my VA stuff, just cause I was working, working some time after, after all that time

00:26:06.840 in my truck and then some time up in Montana again, but on the other side of Montana, working

00:26:11.560 a ranch, I decided to take a, uh, a job here in Texas on a, on a thousand acre ranch. And

00:26:18.360 I was managing that just me and the pup and, um, had a really good time doing that, but I

00:26:23.320 was alone. You know, I had that isolation, which is fine to an extent because it's

00:26:27.000 something that you, that is technically required in order to be successful in your

00:26:33.820 own terms. Um, you can be successful in other people's terms by following a checklist checklist,

00:26:39.680 but most of the time you're going to be working in a cubicle. If you're going to be doing

00:26:42.380 that. Sure. So if you, and you understand it, like if you want to be successful on your

00:26:46.600 own, it takes that certain level of seclusion. And, um, you have Derek Witzke spoke on that.

00:26:51.120 And so by doing that, I was out there and I was great. I was healing. I, I, I, I felt

00:26:56.900 like I was getting somewhere and then, you know, the physicality part starts and, you

00:27:01.420 know, like my brain and my memory was gone. My, my short-term memory was damn near gone.

00:27:05.980 Uh, my back and I was just getting, my joints were stiffening up and everything like that.

00:27:10.620 So at the same time, I was wondering why is this happening? Cause I got back into kind

00:27:16.240 of being an athlete. So, um, to ride bulls and everything like that. And I didn't know I

00:27:21.780 had any type of TBI at the time or anything like that. Um, just, I had post-concussive

00:27:27.740 migraines and post-concussive this post-concussive that. And I was like, okay, so, um, I didn't

00:27:34.900 really think of it cause I never, you know, I never got a purple heart or anything like

00:27:37.860 that. And, but looking back, you know, there, there's documentation of going through, yeah,

00:27:43.060 we went through a blast on a truck. Everybody, everybody just got all their hands and arms and

00:27:47.880 feet and signals and all that stuff. And so, you know, we, we never really thought anything

00:27:52.360 of it. We're just like, no, we're good. No, we're good. Yeah. And that happens to a lot

00:27:56.800 of guys over there, especially, you know, if you're next to, you know, you get tossing

00:28:01.800 grenades back and forth up in Northern Sang in 2012 and you don't realize how close you

00:28:06.940 are to these blasts and it's going to affect everybody differently. And so one of my buddies

00:28:12.020 like, Hey man, you, uh, you need to go get your shit worked on or at least go get some

00:28:17.140 answers. And I was like, all right. And so, and he was another sniper that was in my unit

00:28:21.980 at the time. So, um, you know, he's really good friend. I was like, all right, I'll take,

00:28:26.640 I'll, I'll trust his word. So decided to move back up here to Dallas back in August, uh, last

00:28:32.640 August. And, uh, I've been handling that stuff ever since while, um, so they, they had found

00:28:37.980 a little bit of something up there that, uh, was related to TBI. And so, you know, it was

00:28:44.440 in the memory area of my brain. So it just kind of, um, where you try to grasp and remember

00:28:49.640 and, and, and, you know, the ping from thinking to doing to saying, um, was just, was not there.

00:28:56.300 And so they, they had me on these like type of EKG machines, but it was like, instead of

00:29:01.140 just the regular, I think it's like 60 or something, uh, little pins in the, in the cap, it had

00:29:06.700 like 200 and 220 something. And so I literally, I would walk on a freaking, um, on a treadmill

00:29:15.780 with it and they'd take notes and make me talk or say certain things. And then I would sit

00:29:20.660 in the chair and have to do this like brain game thing. And they would watch for the, for

00:29:25.660 that stuff, firing it.

00:29:26.960 To light up. Yeah.

00:29:27.840 And, um, so that's where they started to see it. And then, you know, everybody's like, okay,

00:29:35.960 so you got certain effects of TBI and you deal with this crap and you got the, the migraines,

00:29:41.860 you got the, the, the sensitivity to light and noise. I mean, it's just like, um, which is also

00:29:50.420 can fit in like three or four different other, uh, disability type platforms. But at the same

00:29:57.480 time, it's like, wow. Okay. So I have all this, I'm only 31. Okay. So I'm pretty limited

00:30:02.480 on what I'm going to be able to do physically, you know, in my life. And so I'm going to take

00:30:08.440 advantage of it when I can, you know, what do you mean by that? What do you mean by take

00:30:12.520 advantage of it? Um, I'm going to take advantage of the fact that I don't have long, um, to,

00:30:19.700 for my body to be able to physically do what I do now. Um, which is right. The biggest,

00:30:26.000 scariest animal in the world, essentially. And like, to be honest, man, I've never had

00:30:31.360 a concussion riding bulls. Never. Um, I've always been pretty agile when I fall. And when

00:30:36.940 I fall, I know how to move and contort my body and whatnot. So it's just, um, everybody's

00:30:43.020 like, how do you ride with having that and TBI? And they're like, Oh, that's the perfect

00:30:46.300 fucking thing. Or people be like, Oh, that's exactly what you're supposed to do. And I'm like,

00:30:49.560 fuck off, dude. This is my life. I know, I know what the, what the consequences are. I've

00:30:55.220 known what the consequences are every time I've done something in my life, you know,

00:30:58.860 or at least I'm ready to face it depending on what it is. And I'll adapt when it comes

00:31:02.800 to it.

00:31:03.640 So why, uh, why choose to do that then? I mean, have you been riding bulls since you were

00:31:07.280 young or is this after you got out of service?

00:31:09.600 I picked, I picked up riding bulls when I was in high school and went on and rode for

00:31:14.460 my school, um, up here in North Texas, which is Dallas area. Um, and so I rode for Coppell

00:31:20.880 and it was kind of cool, man. Um, some of the first times that I went to ride, cause

00:31:25.980 we ride up there in Saginaw just at Fort Worth. And, um, I was told these older guys, remember

00:31:32.500 this one gentleman named John Anderson came up and he put his hand on my shoulder. He's

00:31:35.900 like, Hey, son. I said, yes, sir. He goes, he goes, I heard you ride for Coppell. I said,

00:31:39.980 yes, sir. He goes, man, I rode for them back in 83, right before they got rid of the team.

00:31:44.060 And is that, that's your high school?

00:31:45.860 Yeah. Coppell high school. So it was a pretty, it's a pretty big high school. Um, it's all

00:31:50.300 dang near smack dab in the middle of the city, but like suburb type city. And so we lived in

00:31:55.500 a city over is a pretty expensive to live in that actual town. And so just, um, it was huge,

00:32:02.300 man, especially coming from going to somewhat private Catholic school of maybe 60 kids in

00:32:08.240 my class to a class of almost a thousand. So, yeah. Yeah. So what got you into that? I mean,

00:32:14.840 is that, is that something that your dad did or is that something that, uh, what was the

00:32:19.400 draw? So, cause that's not, I mean, let's be honest, like that's not normal. All right.

00:32:26.120 For lack of a better term, like I see an animal like that and we've been exposed to the rodeo

00:32:30.620 because I grew up in Southern Utah. And so like we're around it and, and it's not normal,

00:32:36.060 but there's like a special breed of guy. That's like, I see that big old 2000 pound or heavier

00:32:42.800 animal and I want to get on his back and I want to see how long I can last. And that's

00:32:46.840 pretty fascinating to me. I mean, that's, that's, that's just that, but when you take

00:32:51.820 it a little bit, one step deeper, um, it's more of, Hey dude, I can conquer that. I can

00:32:57.800 conquer it. And that person, I doubt he can conquer it. Let's go. Let's see who's the

00:33:02.400 best. So it is a kind of a, you gotta have a chip on your shoulder. And I think for me,

00:33:06.780 it's just, this is my last bit of hurrah and for bull riding. So my chip on my shoulders

00:33:15.260 to do it before my body gets out. Um, and, uh, I, you know, like I said, it's something

00:33:21.160 that I understand the consequences for. I've been over it with the doctors and they leave

00:33:25.680 it up to us. You know, if a, if a guy gets a concussion and riding in the PBR, all the medical

00:33:32.780 staff is there to do is just to inform him of the dangers, you know, it ultimately comes

00:33:37.780 down to his decision. I mean, you're a big boy. You can make a decision, right?

00:33:41.340 Exactly. Exactly. So like, I've had people, you know, kind of maybe like, Oh yeah, that's

00:33:45.720 perfect for you to do. If you're claiming you have TBI and I'm like, well, I also accept

00:33:50.940 everything that I come, that I'm doing and, and understand the difficulties. But at the end

00:33:56.040 of the day, I'm a big boy and that's my decision. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You don't like

00:34:00.200 it, but yeah, I mean, you've got to live for you, right? It's not about other people.

00:34:03.820 It's about what's going to serve you well. What, what do you like? What benefit do you

00:34:07.860 get from, from, from riding and being part of the rodeo?

00:34:12.760 Um, you're, you're part of a community again. Um, and it's a tight knit community that everybody

00:34:19.420 knows each other. Everybody helps each other. Everybody. Yeah. We're competing against each

00:34:23.620 other as far as rides, but it's, it's not an easy thing to do. So, you know, when you see

00:34:28.580 another guy make a hell of a ride going 90 and above points on a bull, everybody's on

00:34:33.960 the back of the chutes, just hooting and hollering and just getting it like, you know, just yell.

00:34:38.740 Yeah. Motherfucker. Woo. And, um, and it's just something that, uh, Hey, I totally forgot

00:34:46.960 where we were going. No, that's okay. Yeah. No, I was just talking about what, what value

00:34:51.240 you derive from being part of, of the rodeo and getting on the back of the bull.

00:34:55.460 Yeah. The, uh, the community, the, the type of people that are there, it's not a very big

00:34:59.760 community because it's hard to do. It's something that's, that's hard to even just mental, mental,

00:35:04.560 the mentality side of it to actually just go and do it. So you got to get past the fear.

00:35:09.360 You got to get past the fear, the fear, the fear, the fear, man, mental game. Um, and so

00:35:15.640 visualization plays a huge, huge role in my practice. So it's, um, those, those that are in

00:35:22.280 it are at a certain level of mentality than, than most. And then to be actually good at

00:35:28.440 it, there's a whole new level of camaraderie there. And so it's just coming from, um, communities

00:35:35.440 in the Marine Corps that me and the guys were just really friends. We were just really close

00:35:40.940 and it wasn't that way with everybody in that, in that community or sniper or infantry or Marines,

00:35:45.300 it doesn't matter. But you find that certain group of people that share the same common,

00:35:50.400 the same code live by in the same way to sort of see things in the same drive. And to have that,

00:35:57.560 it's very infectious. And, um, you know, you're only as good as who you ride with. So when you're

00:36:02.820 around people that have that same mentality, that same drive, you know, the only way to go is up from

00:36:07.780 there. And so, um, I think that's why I kind of gravitated back to it. It's something that,

00:36:13.520 you know, looking back, I, it's only, it's very therapeutic for me. Um, because it, you do build

00:36:22.000 that insecurity, like we were talking about earlier. Um, when you're going back into things

00:36:26.660 like this, especially me being 31 years old, you know, I have a good buddy who retired riding bulls

00:36:33.640 at 31, you know, but he had been doing it in the PBR since he, since he was 18. So, um, the only

00:36:41.860 thing that, and a lot of guys are like, man, you're 31, but why are you coming into this?

00:36:44.900 And a lot of them, the other ones would be like, Oh dude, it's cause you didn't ride bulls for

00:36:48.420 until you're 18. So you kind of got to leg up on people. And I'm like, yeah, all right. And I just

00:36:52.960 don't even tell them what I've been through. So I just, right. Tactical advantage, right?

00:36:58.160 Yeah. Yeah. So I'm just like, all right. Um, you know, I think, but yeah, to answer your

00:37:03.340 question, that's, it's the community it's, you know, the support I've gotten from it is,

00:37:08.460 is great. Um, you know, some people can act a little stuck up at times, but yeah, I just look

00:37:16.960 at it and smile because usually those are the young ones. And, um, yeah, they haven't be humbled

00:37:22.080 yet. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Like, you know, sometimes, you know, someone who's, who's won a pretty high

00:37:28.500 prestigious award in bull riding or whatnot, you know, may say a comment on, on Instagram or,

00:37:35.040 or social media, or even to someone's face at a, at an event and it'll just spread like wildfire

00:37:40.480 now, especially with social media. And then it's just like, they, they got to come down on him.

00:37:45.300 And he's like, I didn't mean anything by it. It was a joke. It's like, yeah. Okay. So if you're

00:37:48.920 31, are you still going to say the same thing and use that same excuse? Right. No, but here's the

00:37:53.420 thing. You're both adults. You're 31 is adult. You're 21 is adult. So what you say, then you're

00:37:58.480 going to have the same consequences as you are 31. Right. It's, it's cool to just kind of see that. And,

00:38:02.940 um, you know, as far as mentality goes, some of the younger guys will kind of ask me, you know,

00:38:09.080 the mental game of it, or, or how do you clear your head? And I'm like, it's, it's, I, I used to

00:38:16.440 be able to clear my head pretty well, um, when I was a sniper. And, and so it just, but it's a whole

00:38:22.380 nother factor when you're trying to clear your head of a ride, you just got bucked off and you got to

00:38:27.080 get on the next night at the same place. Yeah. Do you ride the same bull or you draw a different bull?

00:38:32.160 No. Uh, so you draw a different bull every night. Okay. Yeah. And, um, you know, you got your long,

00:38:38.100 your long go bulls, which the long go is the first round, meaning it's long cause they buck every

00:38:43.180 rider, which is about 40 guys. And then you got the short go, which is condensed version of this

00:38:49.520 championship round, basically. Um, all the guys that, that hit eight seconds. Is that right?

00:38:54.160 Yes. Okay. Hit eight seconds and hit it well. Okay. And, um, those will have a different caliber

00:39:00.160 of bulls, you know? Um, and you want those ranked bulls cause you know, you could just be your, your

00:39:06.960 time and your night and you're going to hit that perfect ride. You're going to be in sync with him

00:39:10.100 right away. Yeah. You want the best bull, right? The meanest, toughest, baddest ass bull, right?

00:39:14.460 Yeah. Cause all it takes is, is one time, you know? And, um, if you're going to play it safe

00:39:21.240 all the time and ride these, you know, it's like life. If you're going to play it safe and ride these

00:39:25.900 little pin kick and practice bulls, you're, you're going to stay a pin kick and practice bull. You

00:39:31.700 know, if you want to be great, if you want to be legendary, you need to go out there and, and,

00:39:35.300 and ride the best to, to win the best.

00:39:38.140 Man, let me hit the, uh, hit the pause button real quick. I want to tell you about the iron

00:39:43.720 council. I mentioned it earlier because you get the exclusive iron council dinner if you come to

00:39:47.940 the main event. Uh, but if you've been listening to this podcast for any amount of time, uh, you

00:39:53.100 know a little bit about our exclusive brotherhood. Again, it's called the iron council. Uh, this is a

00:39:57.080 fraternity or a society or an organization, whatever you want to call it, of men, uh, who are all

00:40:02.180 working together to improve their lives and gain new perspectives and get accountability. And of

00:40:07.620 course the motivation and tools and skills that they need to excel in their lives. Now this month

00:40:13.040 inside the iron council, we're talking about forging an iron clad mindset. Uh, and one of the

00:40:18.380 things that I like to do is to bring in guest experts to cover the monthly topic. That's one

00:40:23.820 of the powerful things about the iron council is it's a collection of men. It's not just me

00:40:28.300 talking at you. It's bringing in guest experts as often as we can to do Q and a and to learn from

00:40:33.860 these guys. So on the 28th of this month, June, 2019, uh, commander Mark divine will be joining us

00:40:40.920 on our live call to discuss, uh, the tools and the strategies and the skillsets of forging an

00:40:47.340 iron clad mindset. So I'd love to have you on that call again on the 28th of June, but you've got to

00:40:52.180 be a member of the iron council. And I want to have you to the exclusive iron council dinner in Maine

00:40:56.620 for the main event, which is August 9th through the 11th. Uh, if you want to learn from the best

00:41:03.580 and band with other men who are going to hold you to the highest possible standard, then join us

00:41:09.300 inside the iron council at order of man.com slash iron council. Again, that's order of man.com

00:41:15.340 slash iron council. You can join with us after the show or hit pause and join with us right now.

00:41:20.560 So you get to your spot locked in. Uh, but either way, get that done, get that taken care of. Uh,

00:41:25.320 but for now we're going to get back to my conversation with Brady. I'm just trying to

00:41:30.020 think about your mentality when you're sitting in the shoot or thinking about an event coming up.

00:41:33.920 Like, are you competing against yourself? Are you competing against the bull? Are you competing

00:41:37.640 against other riders? What do you, what's your mindset? It's kind of all three. So

00:41:41.960 it's not typically my mindset. I'm not really thinking of, of any of that. All I'm trying to

00:41:48.640 think of is stay in the middle, keep my mind in the middle. That's it. If I keep my mind in the

00:41:53.960 middle and I ride them jump for jump, um, what do you mean by the middle? Like I'm,

00:41:59.280 it's all, it's a huge balance routine. So when the bull bucks, you know, he's going to come up in

00:42:05.260 the front end and you need to stay up towards, towards the middle. So you're going to lean

00:42:08.720 forward way out over his hump. And then when he comes down, you got to flex your hips, throw them

00:42:13.720 forward and stay upright. And coming back. Yeah. Yeah. And so when he spins, you need to work with the

00:42:19.800 spin, come back to center, come back to center. And so it's just, it's almost, it's almost like

00:42:25.060 life, you know? And so it's just, um, that's, that's where my mind is, but yeah, you're competing

00:42:30.540 against yourself because like me, I've had to come down from over 200 pounds. When I first started

00:42:35.740 getting back into riding, I was just jacked up on 200 pounds of muscle and had some fat on there too.

00:42:41.840 Just being that size, but I was never overweight. I could run three miles and be fine, but I was just

00:42:46.680 heavy. And, um, so now I'm down to 175 and you know, the lighter, I'll put it this way. The best

00:42:55.560 riders in the game are former wrestlers or wrestlers or MMA type guys, because they, they know how to

00:43:02.760 control their body and they're really good with their hips. So it's just, um, so weight isn't as

00:43:08.080 much of a factor as just being able to control your body and your core and, and being able to manipulate

00:43:12.540 it that way. It is easier when you're lighter. So I would actually think the opposite. I don't

00:43:18.660 know. I'm just trying to think about it. I guess you're maybe more mobile. Yeah. You're never going

00:43:23.140 to be stronger than a 2000 pound animal. Yeah, exactly. So yeah, they're not going to have a

00:43:27.320 hard time lifting up a 250 pound guy versus 180 pound guy. No, absolutely not. When that bull goes left,

00:43:34.240 a lot of the motion and there's some, I mean, there's a lot of inertia behind it is going to be

00:43:39.360 pulling you off the right side. So when that bull goes left, you need to be already countering over

00:43:44.760 into the left side, but before he even bucks. So is there anticipation there of what the animal's

00:43:50.500 going to do? Yeah. So it's a lot of muscle memory. It's a lot of, um, feel, you know? And so you got

00:43:56.880 to have that mind, right? Of not trying to think it way too much and being an overthinker, I have to be

00:44:01.920 able to turn my mind off. And so what helps me with that is a lot of meditation is, um, so I'm able to

00:44:07.400 just kind of close everything down and focus on just being in the middle. Because if I sit there

00:44:12.160 and think on a bull, it's going to be that split second too late and I'm going to have to be this

00:44:17.260 way, but I'm here at that moment and then I'm going to go off the right side. So it's, it's a huge,

00:44:22.800 um, thing just trying to get back to center. You know, you make a move, come back to center,

00:44:26.800 make a move, come back to center, make a move, come back to center. He's going to rotate. And so

00:44:31.080 when, when I say rotate, it's like, he's going to move, right? So it took me probably about a hundred

00:44:36.020 bulls just to get my vision down. Cause it, it, it, it is a fucking car accident. Let's face it.

00:44:42.100 Um, and if you've ever multiple, uh, a ride in a matter of eight seconds, it's multiple car

00:44:47.120 accidents. I imagine you've ever been in a car accident, you know, that your vision is just,

00:44:51.600 everyone's like, Oh, it happened so fast. I don't know what happened. It's like,

00:44:54.580 that's kind of the first 50 to a hundred rides of bull riding. It's like, it just happens.

00:45:00.760 Does it start to slow down though for you?

00:45:02.520 Yeah. And so after about a hundred bulls, I was able to catch the vision because it wasn't that

00:45:08.260 it slowed down. It was that I sped up and got in time with him. And when you're in time with that

00:45:12.580 bull, the vision, you'll know that you made a good ride. Cause you'd be able to just watch it,

00:45:17.180 watch what shoulder dips, you know? And, um, you know, when he changes up, you're able to catch

00:45:22.960 that or you, or you just feel it down in between your legs and you, and you're able to counter or

00:45:28.840 flex and counter, flex, counter, flex, counter, get back to center. And so it's just,

00:45:32.760 it's a lot of different things firing at once. And if you throw in thinking to the,

00:45:38.260 to the, or to the mechanism, then it's just, it's going to combust because it's just too much going

00:45:44.000 on and you're going to get thrown off. And so it's why the best way to do it is to just,

00:45:48.700 you know, like this thing behind me, it's a considered a drop barrel. And so all it is a 55

00:45:53.080 gallon drum that goes up and down like this works on is your timing. And so you work your timing and

00:45:59.440 you squeeze your legs the whole time. And so that helps a lot. It's just the only thing that's

00:46:02.880 different from an actual bull is the speed and the power at which he does it. Um, everyone's like,

00:46:08.840 yeah, he can go left and right. And that thing only bucks up and down. It's like, well, this comes

00:46:12.040 back to what I keep saying is you just got to ride him jump or jump and get back to center.

00:46:15.240 So it's, it, it's gotta working for it is tough, man. And it allows me to give me that drive back

00:46:24.540 in my life that I once had and that I miss. And, um, it's, I'd be lying if I said it didn't really

00:46:32.740 save my life to have a sport back in my life, to have athletics and to be around the community

00:46:37.620 that I am now. And that, you know, like through the community that you and I met through, which

00:46:41.280 was sore next. And so, um, I wouldn't be where I am today if it wasn't for Bert. Um, you know,

00:46:47.640 Bert Soren, he's like my older brother. You know, every time I go there, I stay at his house and,

00:46:51.440 and hang out, play dinosaurs with Ezra and everybody. And so it just, you know, it's me

00:46:57.060 and him have conversations every time we're there where it's, I'm asking him for advice

00:47:01.960 or he'll run things by me. And even though we're 10 years apart, it's still that mutual respect

00:47:06.820 that we live by that same code. And that's why I feel like you fit perfectly in with all

00:47:12.400 of us because we all live by that same code that, that you need that certain thing to drive.

00:47:18.420 You need that drive about you, that code to live by, to be that moral, moral person in

00:47:24.040 this world that is going to do good, is going to want to be the change that he sees in the

00:47:28.800 world. And in order to do that, you have to have that drive behind you, pushing you and

00:47:35.380 whatever that drive may be, whether it's, you know, order of the man or Soren X or bull

00:47:39.600 riding. If you don't have that, I don't think we wouldn't be who we are right now and able

00:47:45.380 to do the things we are as a group.

00:47:48.020 Yeah, no, I, I agree with that. And, and certainly a testament to Bert. I mean, he's an incredible

00:47:52.740 human being. He really is. Um, I don't think you could do it justice just by talking about

00:47:58.040 him, just by getting to know him over the past year. Just, just incredible. Um, I want

00:48:02.280 to go back to the code. You know, you've talked about that a couple of times.

00:48:05.380 Uh, the, the code of, I don't know if there's, there's a rodeo code necessarily or, or, you

00:48:12.280 know, obviously Soren X talks a lot about being legendary. You don't fall off. Is that

00:48:16.880 what it is? I like that, man. I like that. Um, what is, what is your code? Like if you

00:48:23.200 were to distill it down and I don't know if you've thought about it like that, but, but

00:48:26.260 what would you say is your code that you live by?

00:48:28.480 Uh, always practice discipline because it will create that patience that you need to

00:48:37.200 stay calm in the times of chaos, but it's also going to drive you to be that change that

00:48:43.120 you want to see in the world.

00:48:45.380 Just that level of discipline.

00:48:46.920 Yeah. And that, that discipline, regardless of how much you procrastinate or don't procrastinate,

00:48:54.720 everyone's discipline kicks in at different times, which is something that I'm figuring

00:48:58.260 out. Um, because you know, it's, I'll get mad at civilians out here in the civilian world,

00:49:04.660 but yet a month later they go and get done whatever they need to get done. Like my neighbor

00:49:10.000 needs to cut all this stuff and move all of his trash or whatnot. And so I just was wondering

00:49:15.280 when he was going to do it. I was like, man, I'd do it like right now. And so I'd watch

00:49:18.240 him and he'd be gone or come home. And so I just realized that everybody just kind of does

00:49:21.640 it in their own time, but everybody's got that level of discipline. And what that's going

00:49:25.300 to do for you is, and it's, and it is perishable. It's very perishable, but you have to practice

00:49:30.800 it every day. Um, and what that discipline will do is create that.

00:49:34.660 That will help you command your own calm in the situations of chaos and what they're in

00:49:42.540 the middle of, of learning and practicing your discipline to that calm state. You're learning

00:49:47.160 patience in between there. Um, patience is a huge key factor to, you know, anything. Um,

00:49:55.660 it, it's a huge curve to emotional instability or instability. So it's just, um,

00:50:02.520 I don't know. It's, you know, it's like when someone shoots a text message that you don't

00:50:11.060 agree with and you automatically want to type out this huge long line there. And then by

00:50:16.220 the time you've typed out the whole thing, it's like, it's too big to send. And you're

00:50:20.960 like, well, what the fuck? And then all of a sudden you're like, ah, it's dumb. I shouldn't

00:50:25.340 do that. You just totally delete it. And it's, it's so, yeah, that right in that little snippet

00:50:32.820 of life, which I know everybody has, has done that patience and sent in from where you wanted

00:50:38.980 to send that text message to the point you were done of writing it helped you not send

00:50:43.620 it and probably just totally squash the situation.

00:50:46.460 Right. I mean, I think the things that we get worked up about, if we spend any amount of

00:50:49.960 time, whether it's margin or space, or just thinking about it for a second, we realize this

00:50:53.920 probably isn't worth getting worked up about.

00:50:57.000 Yeah. Yeah. And so the, you know, even like, like the, regardless of how much stuff I've

00:51:02.440 done in the military or learned or whatnot, you know, and then taking classes outside the

00:51:07.340 military for martial arts and stuff like that, you know, I go out, this is why I don't like

00:51:11.980 going out to bars because for some reason people look at me and always think I'm either one look

00:51:16.480 mad all the time, or I'm just posturing. I'm like, no, this is just how I stand. Like blah,

00:51:22.040 blah, blah. And so they'll come over and try to start shit with me. And I'm just like,

00:51:25.500 no, dude, like, Hey, you're good. Like, no, I'll try to defuse the situation all I can.

00:51:30.720 Cause it's just not worth it. Right. It's like, dude, I get it. If you are here to measure

00:51:35.980 dicks, all right, you got a bigger dick for me. I'm fine. Cool. Go for it.

00:51:39.620 Right. And that's not a threat to you. I think, I think that's the biggest threat to people

00:51:43.340 who haven't done anything in their lives, you know, but you, you've done stuff. You've been

00:51:46.900 in the military, you know, you've done multiple, uh, tours, you obviously you're performing and

00:51:51.980 excelling in, in, in the rodeo and PBR. Like there's nothing to prove from, from my perspective.

00:51:59.380 I don't know how you feel about that. Maybe, maybe you feel like you still have something

00:52:02.120 to prove. I don't know. Uh, I think the only thing that I have to prove is, um, to myself,

00:52:09.300 to be honest, it's like you're, when you stop competing against other people and just

00:52:17.000 compete against yourself on a certain level in a certain aspect, because you can't just

00:52:24.580 say, Oh, I'm going to compete against myself. You have to actually reflect and learn on how

00:52:28.240 to do it. Everything just, just turns, seems to fall in place, um, when you do so. And so

00:52:34.500 it's just, you know, you return to that code by, okay, I'm going to have the discipline to

00:52:38.380 just focus on me. I'm going to have the discipline to wake up every morning or wake up and do

00:52:44.320 this, this and that. And I'm going to start out with just three and then you work your

00:52:48.040 way up to five and blah, blah, blah. And then before you know it, you're like, okay, well,

00:52:52.280 I was only doing three things a day last week, but here I am doing five things this week.

00:52:56.580 I'm better than who I was last week. That's fucking progress in my book. And I've had to

00:53:00.620 be at those points and everybody's like, Oh, that's, that's dumb. Why would you only do

00:53:03.860 three things a day? Because when I first got out in that, in the depression,

00:53:08.380 hit and whatnot and the anxiety and things started to go awry, that was all I was able

00:53:14.580 to do was maybe one or two things a day. And that's better than zero dude. Yeah.

00:53:19.680 Or self-destruction doing zero things in a day, just piles on top of that depression

00:53:26.460 because then you're like, Oh fuck, I just wasted a whole day. And it's like, here's that whole day

00:53:31.360 you fucking wasted. Let's just throw this on more depression. Right. You know, it's just like

00:53:36.440 to spiral. And you, you gotta, when you hit that certain point of where all you have to do is to

00:53:44.440 go up, you know, you, you, you fall back on that discipline and you just say, fuck it. You know,

00:53:50.020 I'm just going to start getting shit done. And I don't care if it's the littlest thing or the

00:53:54.960 biggest thing I'm going to get it done. And so like, like when we were talking about,

00:53:58.060 you know, you just acquiring your 40 acres and everything like that. And so it could be

00:54:02.840 overwhelming. All you gotta do. And I tell you, you know, all you gotta do is just one thing at

00:54:07.220 a time. Yeah. A hundred percent. Just knock them out. Yeah. That's it. If you look at them all at

00:54:11.960 one thing, then you're gonna, then you're gonna get overwhelmed and you're going to lose the

00:54:16.420 motivation to do it. For sure. And, um, so yeah. I don't want to, uh, I don't want to oversimplify

00:54:23.780 or discount your experience with the military or coming out of the military, but what is it that

00:54:30.140 you feel like you were, you were depressed and down about? Um, probably just the way that

00:54:36.840 probably just the way that I was kind of left to figure things out after being told. And I mean,

00:54:48.520 like getting out of the military and reduction of force and all that stuff. And, um, you know,

00:54:55.440 there were some things that I, I was wanting to work on, you know, cause in the military,

00:54:59.400 when you go to certain units that have a selection program and, and because of who's in there or it's

00:55:08.020 a good old boy and they don't let you come in and then you try back for it and you keep trying.

00:55:11.580 It's certain things like that, that I was working on. That's kind of how it always is in the military.

00:55:15.700 It's like, you just, if you want to be one of those top guys, you need to just keep trying,

00:55:19.440 keep trying, keep trying. And, um, you know, I wasn't done. I wasn't done doing that in simple,

00:55:25.900 in simple terms, I wasn't done doing what I wanted to do in the military. And so it was like,

00:55:32.560 there was this plane that I was on, you know, this solid plane, and that's all I want to do in the

00:55:37.580 military. And then all of a sudden that plane got cut short and here I am just dropping off the edge.

00:55:42.620 And I'm like, Whoa, Whoa, Whoa, Whoa. Like, fuck man. I don't have my boys anymore. I don't have,

00:55:48.980 you know, I don't have that steady paycheck, that healthcare or anything like that. I don't have

00:55:53.780 any of that. And it's kind of difficult. You know, I have no problem telling anybody that dude, it's,

00:56:00.840 you feel like a fucking dumb ass because you're like, man, here I am dang near 30 years old.

00:56:06.020 And I feel like I'm fucking 16 again. I don't know what the fuck to do. I don't know that I

00:56:14.680 learned how to be an adult in the military. 17, 18 years old, you go in. Yeah. You make that

00:56:21.320 transition there. Exactly. And so when you get out, we're back to being pretty much adolescence.

00:56:29.180 Wondering because in the military, it's easy. Just do what you're told to do. And if you want to go do

00:56:33.100 great things and you're going to have to take on some, a little bit more responsibility and that's

00:56:37.020 fine. But when you get out, man, and I think that's why a lot of vets just focus on being told

00:56:44.440 what to do by the VA and here, take these pills and, and don't do this. And, and Hey, if you do

00:56:50.780 this, we won't be able to treat you. So don't do that. Or here, take this because those pills will

00:56:56.620 are, will make you down and these will bring you back up. Here's some pain pills and

00:57:01.880 just all this dumb shit, man. And it's just a lot of guys fall to that. And you know, it's

00:57:09.100 like that depression is, it came in when you feel like you didn't matter anymore. You do

00:57:18.600 this thing and your whole country's behind you and Hey, you know, support our troops and remember

00:57:25.280 everyone deployed and brotherhood and all this crap. And then it's just like, man, that's a

00:57:33.980 fucking, I just got punched in the mouth and I got nothing. I got nothing, man. So it's just.

00:57:40.500 What do you say to, uh, what do you say to somebody who, whether it's military or not,

00:57:46.000 has found themselves in that same situation? Cause I'm telling you, man, I've been doing this for

00:57:50.500 four years. I know that there is millions and millions of men out there who feel like you felt,

00:57:57.160 you know, where I don't matter. What I'm doing is not significant. Uh, you know, I used to have

00:58:02.620 purpose and meaning in my life. And now that's been stripped away from me for whatever reason.

00:58:07.040 What do you say to that guy?

00:58:10.740 Swallow your pride. Cause a lot of that is ego. Um, I think, and reason being is because when we can

00:58:20.380 swallow that ego or that, man, I used to fucking matter. I used to, you know, be in charge of over

00:58:28.320 a hundred thousand dollars worth of gear and kit. And I wasn't even 30 yet. And I was over there

00:58:34.340 having to, you know, teach people how to be killers and how to save and how to talk to key leaders

00:58:41.840 overseas and brief generals and stuff like that. And then all of a sudden you're like, man, now I got,

00:58:47.320 I don't have anything and people treat me like a fucking janitor, which I try to treat the janitor

00:58:54.480 just the same as the CEO, but at the same time, you're just not going to have that in the civilian

00:58:58.020 world. And so you've got people that are just like, man, what the fuck do I do? Oh man, I used

00:59:02.460 to matter. And it's just like, swallow your pride, man. Your ego is going to get you probably a few more

00:59:09.020 steps back before you start going forward. And so it's just, you got to get rid of that and realize

00:59:13.840 that the masculinity of the facts comes from owning up and just taking a, taking a step into

00:59:21.480 a direction that's going to make you uncomfortable. Cause what that's going to do is going to create

00:59:25.360 growth, you know, and your ego is not going to let you do that. You know, if there's, I don't feel

00:59:32.860 that having a chip on your shoulder and ego are the same thing. And so, because I've been argued that

00:59:38.320 and it's something that, you know, the more you go through, the more you'll learn that they are

00:59:46.620 completely different. So it's just, I would tell them, you know, drop the ego.

00:59:52.360 Yeah. Yeah. That makes sense. You know, I, I, when I hear chip on my shoulder, I kind of think

00:59:56.640 and correct me, it sounds like you think differently. So I want to talk about this.

01:00:01.060 I hear that, you know, I've got something to prove to somebody else. I think that's chip on my shoulder,

01:00:06.160 but maybe you look at it differently based on what you're saying.

01:00:09.520 I've, I do, man. It's like I said earlier, that chip on my shoulder is to prove something

01:00:14.420 to myself, prove to better myself than how I looked at it. You know, it's like when I was a kid,

01:00:23.040 I remember my dad were making me climb up a tree, but I had already told him that I had a huge fear

01:00:29.480 of heights and he said, get up in that tree and conquer it.

01:00:36.160 Yes, sir. So shaking all the way up there, just staying up there. I was like, man, you know,

01:00:41.780 it's like, and he would, he'd be like, all right, now think where your, where your feet are at.

01:00:45.680 Think how your weight, your weight is shifting. Think when the wind blows, how you're gripping

01:00:49.520 and everything like this. And so it just, um, I think that's kind of where it started of how

01:00:55.500 my chip on my shoulder was to better myself and to fight against myself, which not necessarily

01:01:02.900 fight, but just to be better than who I was yesterday. And so I needed to prove to myself

01:01:07.600 that I guess somewhere along the line, after being out, it came back and was like, Hey man,

01:01:13.900 you're in this shitty state. You're depressed. No one likes to be around you. No one,

01:01:19.320 everyone knows what you've been through and no one can help you. Cause you're not,

01:01:22.140 you're not talking, do something, do something that, that, that is not something you've already

01:01:27.820 done. And so it was okay. Well then I'm going to chip, I'm going to put a chip on my shoulder

01:01:32.520 too, because that's my old self. Like, Hey man, you're never going to make it. You know,

01:01:37.840 you, you, you can't do this. And I could fall back on all the people who still to this day

01:01:44.520 message me or, or do anything like that. Tell me, Oh, I'm not going to fucking make it.

01:01:49.120 Oh, you're not going to do it. Yeah. I fucking, I get hate mail. I get hate text messages and stuff

01:01:53.460 like that. And so I think I take that because I don't blame them for that. I'm like, okay,

01:01:58.480 well they're either going through something or their intelligence just hasn't let them come to

01:02:04.640 the pack of come to the fact that, Hey, you know, it's like people are always going to do what they

01:02:09.500 want and just leave it alone. Cause it's not, doesn't have anything to do with you. But so I

01:02:13.380 turned that into just like, Hey man, I'm going to challenge myself and I'm going to put my own chip

01:02:18.460 on my shoulder to be better than who I was yesterday. Because when I was going through

01:02:24.140 that point of depression, it was like, man, I can't do anything. I can't hold a fucking civilian

01:02:28.940 job. I can't do any of this shit. And everybody's telling me I can't. So I'm going to go back to

01:02:35.360 what I know and what I know I can do. And that's riding bulls and working ranches and working with

01:02:40.720 animals. So it's just, um, you know, and that was the first, I remember that was the first thought

01:02:46.100 of that. And so it just, my chip on my shoulder is just that I, I hold myself accountable to be

01:02:54.760 better than who I was yesterday. I love it, man. I love it. It's powerful. Um, what do, what do,

01:03:01.180 uh, what do people hate you for? Like, that's always fascinating to me. I'm like, dude, here's this

01:03:06.580 guy who's served this country. You know, he's given, given a lot, sacrificed a lot. He's out there

01:03:13.700 doing some crazy shit. Uh, he, he's pursuing something that's engaging to him. He's trying

01:03:19.940 to lift other people up. He's trying to lift himself up. Like I'm always fascinated what

01:03:25.340 somebody could be upset about. You know what I mean?

01:03:27.960 There's always, there's always going to be those people. And there's, there's a saying that I,

01:03:31.880 that I told someone one time, I was like, man, I could tell you, but you just say I was lying.

01:03:36.680 I could show you. And you just say, I cheated. I could tell you to come along.

01:03:40.340 Um, and all I would hear is excuses from you. And I got that because every time I would tell

01:03:47.780 someone what I've been through, they're like, ah, bullshit. And I'm like, okay, well, here's the

01:03:50.980 proof. And they're like, Oh, and so I still have people coming out of the woodwork that are like,

01:03:56.380 Oh, you didn't do this. And, and, you know, I've had a lot of talks with Bert that when people,

01:04:01.060 you know, Bert Soren is the one that kind of opened my eyes to this was when people are out there

01:04:05.760 badmouthing you or something like that. It's probably because they're going through their

01:04:09.920 own shit or they still have something to come to terms with. And so it's not their,

01:04:16.160 it's not your fault that they're acting this way. And so it's not going to do you any good to sit

01:04:21.060 there and argue with someone that's already, that's probably not even going to be able to

01:04:25.000 change or see perspective on it. And so, um, I still get stuff like that, like from other

01:04:31.660 military guys and whatnot. And, Oh, you're acting like a fucking dumb ass or you shouldn't be

01:04:37.220 talking about this stuff and all this. Or I'm just like, go do your own thing.

01:04:44.880 Right. Right. But thanks for going out of your way, taking time out of your day,

01:04:49.740 because that actually satisfies me that even though you may be in a shitty situation,

01:04:55.400 you still chose the fact to be a fucking dick, a fucking douchebag and reach out and say something.

01:05:03.460 So the fact of the matter stands that you have your opinion and I have mine, but you still let

01:05:10.540 me control your day for that little bit of time. Yeah. Yeah. No, that's exactly right. I think

01:05:15.460 that's the danger in, in letting it, well, let me say it this way. I think that's the danger

01:05:21.440 in worrying so much about what other people think. Yeah. Right. Is that you start,

01:05:27.560 is you start focusing more on other people yourself. And that could even go in a positive

01:05:33.340 way. Like, like, I mean, we've got millions of guys that listen to this podcast and I get

01:05:37.200 messages every day of guys, you know, there's hate of course, but then there's also guys who,

01:05:41.660 who think I'm an idol or whatever. I'm like, no guys, like I'm just trying to figure stuff out like

01:05:46.980 you, but, but you, you can't be consumed with what I think about you positive or negative.

01:05:51.440 Like you can't, you got to live for you. You got to figure out what's going to work for you.

01:05:55.940 And my whole goal with this and talking with you and the hundreds of other guys we've had on the

01:05:59.760 podcast is just giving some men, some perspective that maybe they hadn't considered before so they

01:06:05.920 can take care of themselves, not worry about what you or I have to say about who they are and how

01:06:10.280 they're showing up. Yeah. It's like, you want to be, you want to be a man about it. Step up and do

01:06:18.600 what you feel is going to satisfy you and those around you. You know, if you got to step up and

01:06:24.180 you got to stop doing one certain thing in order to make your family happier, to make you happy,

01:06:28.960 then do it. You know, if you got to go and do something that everybody is going to look at and

01:06:34.560 be like, why the fuck are you doing that? I would probably just look at it in a way to use everybody

01:06:41.160 who's bad-mouthing you to fuel you. You know, it's like Conor McGregor. What did he say after

01:06:46.860 he won two belts? He said, doubt me now. Doubt me now. Yeah. It's like, and then my buddy,

01:06:52.540 Zach Brown, just the other night on the CMA award. Yeah. Yeah. I saw that. Hey, keep going,

01:06:58.420 keep doing what you want to do. Be that changing. And so you can get up there and tell all the,

01:07:02.640 tell all the haters to fuck off. Right. And I was, I texted Zach. I was like, dude,

01:07:07.380 solid words. And he was like, thanks brother. I was like, man, I mean, I even needed to hear

01:07:12.500 that, you know, cause like you said, there's people that idolize or see you as this big celebrity and

01:07:19.060 we're just right. I know you as a really cool, regular fucking dude. That's got a really sexy

01:07:23.860 beard. So it's all I wanted. It's all I wanted to hear today, man. So it's like, we're just regular

01:07:30.220 people. And I guarantee you deal with a lack of motivation and sometimes just get and go.

01:07:37.380 Oh yeah, dude. Self doubt, all of that stuff, man. I face it the same as anybody else.

01:07:43.540 Like before I post something, there's that drizzle of thought coming through like,

01:07:48.460 Oh man, should I post this? Or, you know, what's going to say anything? You know what? Fuck it.

01:07:53.320 Right. And that's like, it sounds really, I know there's a lot of parents out there that would be

01:07:59.160 like, Oh, but really a good perspective in life is just say, fuck it and do what you want to do.

01:08:05.320 As long as you have a moral code that you live by. I think that's important too. Cause I think a lot

01:08:09.940 of guys just do whatever the hell they want to do and they don't think anything about it or have

01:08:13.460 some sort of code for doing it. Yeah. Yeah. Or, or the zero Fs mentality. I'm like, really dude? Like

01:08:21.360 you don't care about anything? Yeah. It's like my buddy, uh, Guido, who started Zulu fucks,

01:08:27.480 you know, he started it because he had just gotten out and he was, uh, just left, had a bad deal with

01:08:32.640 someone else. And he was like, you know what? I give zero fucks. Well now it's turned into,

01:08:36.420 he's doing more for Zulu or zero Foxtrot films that, that zero fucks, that Zulu fucks started out

01:08:46.560 as yeah. Fuck everything. Yeah. But now he's got, yeah. Dude, doing amazing, like, uh, autobiographies

01:08:54.480 and biographies on, on these World War II vets and their stories and, and like getting the grunge

01:09:00.500 of it. And it's because he doesn't give any fucks what anyone says. He's going to get the grunge of

01:09:05.880 the old breed. Yeah. And that's, that's the distinction is like he, you know, I don't know

01:09:11.120 him. I know the brand, but from what I've seen, it's like, he may not care about what anybody else

01:09:16.760 thinks, but we can't, that's what I'm saying. And we can't assume that he doesn't care about

01:09:22.840 anything. He certainly, and obviously does care about things, but it's what it's, what's important

01:09:28.180 to him. And I think that's where a lot of, this is where a lot of the immaturity comes from is that

01:09:33.860 I don't care about anything or anyone or whatever. The mature level is, Hey, you know what? I'm

01:09:39.520 comfortable enough with myself that if you don't like me, I'm okay with that. And I'm going to drive

01:09:44.420 on in the face of that, regardless of how you might feel about me. Absolutely. Absolutely. And if

01:09:51.560 there's one thing that I could fuck, there's no certain thing that I could tell somebody of how

01:09:59.000 to look and live their life like that. So in knowing that what we need to do and what everybody

01:10:07.720 needs to do is lead by example, you know, be that change you want to see in the world.

01:10:11.840 Words can only do so much. Actions are where the money is made.

01:10:16.960 No, for sure. I mean, I talked about this the other day. It's like, you know, we, we,

01:10:20.020 we see these guys, they they're walking around like information zombies, like what podcast,

01:10:24.140 what book, what YouTube channel, what Instagram should I follow? What workout should I do? And

01:10:29.180 they're like consuming all this information. I'm like, what in the world are you ever going to

01:10:32.400 produce in your life? Like, when are you going to take this information and do something about it?

01:10:37.200 Yeah. It's your thing to just collect all this fucking information in life. Cause if it is cool,

01:10:41.020 but don't portray yourself as someone that goes out and does all this stuff and, and, and all that.

01:10:46.880 But at the same time, it's like mold yourself into something that you want to be, not what other

01:10:51.460 people, what you think society wants you to be, what you think the trend is, because it's all

01:10:56.100 going to come back around pretty soon. So you could try it again. But at the same time, it's like,

01:10:59.720 be who you want to fucking be. Don't be afraid to do that. Just have the discipline to go full

01:11:03.340 throttle on it. Like do whatever you want. Just go full throttle on it, man. Go 90.

01:11:07.620 I think that's part of the problem too, is social media is like, yeah. And look, I'm not going to tell

01:11:12.160 you, I don't fall prey to it. I do, but I make a post on social media and I'm like, okay, well,

01:11:17.360 this got, you know, this got 2000 likes. And then I make another post. I'm like, well, this one got

01:11:21.120 400. So then that starts to dictate what I'm going to post. That's just one micro example of how this

01:11:27.580 happens, but we're so influenced by what other people think of us that it starts to dictate our

01:11:33.260 behavior. It's just something we really ought to be aware of.

01:11:36.740 Dude, I'll look at it. And I don't mean to bring up all these butt models on Instagram and all this

01:11:42.660 stuff, you know, like pop the hip out. But if you go and look back and like, if you go and look back

01:11:49.660 in their profiles, if they're public, you go to their first picture and you start to see, like,

01:11:55.480 it used to just be pictures of their face and then with friends and working out at the gym. And then

01:11:59.840 all of a sudden it's like, you see that goes lower and lower, right?

01:12:03.320 You see that first booty pic and it's like way more likes than all the rest. And then

01:12:09.260 all of a sudden you start seeing more and more booty pics. And it's like, come on.

01:12:14.400 Yeah, man. I think it's something we're all guilty of.

01:12:17.980 And it, because it happens so quick, they get that instant gratification through it.

01:12:21.920 It rather than being someone that lives by a code and it's like, no, I'm not going to post all these

01:12:26.900 booty pics. It's like, I'm going to post actual workouts and whatnot. And I'm going to do something

01:12:33.320 and I'm going to get there. It's going to take a little bit longer to get to the top,

01:12:36.420 but I'm going to fucking get there honestly and do it in a way that I'm not going to look

01:12:40.720 back 20 years from now and be like, oh my God, I should have never done that.

01:12:44.200 Yeah.

01:12:44.600 Why don't you just save yourself the fucking guilt later on and just like actually do something

01:12:50.820 rather than if you want to post booty pics, cool, go to Tumblr or YouPorn and post that shit.

01:12:55.540 You know, it's like, come on.

01:12:58.900 I think it comes down to motive, right? Like I look at what I post and what I put out there

01:13:03.840 in conversations like this one and I think, all right, what is the motive? You know, is

01:13:07.040 this to edify me, right? Is this to prop me up or is this to give somebody who might actually

01:13:15.040 be tuning in a bit of information, a conversation, a thought, something they hadn't considered a

01:13:20.740 perspective that will serve them? And I think that's ultimately the better way to go. I think

01:13:28.600 that's going to be more advantageous for you, obviously more advantageous for the people you

01:13:33.340 were saying you want to serve. But it's a difficult trap to avoid for sure.

01:13:39.240 It is, man. And that's only two opinionated views on it, yours and mine. Think of how many other views

01:13:46.180 there are and takes on this, the way that social media works and how people follow the trends

01:13:51.280 or follow, you know, oh, they like that picture better. Maybe there's some other fucking reason.

01:13:55.580 There's probably a hundred other fucking reasons. But as of right now, our two opinions kind of

01:14:00.000 mess right now. So we kind of, we understand it from the way we live. But at the same time,

01:14:04.200 that goes back to why you, myself, Derek Witski and everybody that's connected with the

01:14:12.780 Soren and the Soren X family are friends the way we are, because we do see things quite,

01:14:18.640 quite similar, you know, and if we don't, we're able to, to utilize dialogue in order to find that

01:14:26.660 bridge to come close to each other. And so it's just, and we understand it, right? It's not like

01:14:30.800 we're going to be like, oh, that's your opinion. Fuck off. Right, right. We're going to be like,

01:14:34.460 okay, yeah, that's fucking awesome, man. Like, I've never done that. I mean, that just doesn't

01:14:38.580 work for me, but yeah, I'm glad you found something that works for you. And, and that's,

01:14:43.560 that's, I think that that's a big sign of maturity is when you can sit there and have a conversation

01:14:48.800 and be in dialogue and even deep dialogue with somebody. And they're totally just digging,

01:14:53.360 digging, digging on their end, but it's really not the way you see it. But then you can still

01:14:57.800 just be like, okay, yeah. All right. Yeah. I understand that. Yeah. I totally don't ever do that,

01:15:01.740 but I can totally see how you get there, you know? And that's, you know, it's that maturity

01:15:09.100 piece that I think comes from back to the parents. Right. And teaching that stuff. Yeah, for sure.

01:15:14.960 Yeah. It's like, in one thing, you talk about teaching, but I don't know, that's probably for

01:15:22.820 another, another talk, another time. I saw something the other day and it was like,

01:15:26.860 there was like this transgender teacher teaching these at all boys school on

01:15:36.000 like customs and courtesies as adults or something like that. It was like some article that I saw on

01:15:42.900 the internet and I was like, it's ridiculous, man. It's like, you know, not every source of

01:15:47.800 information is qualified and we don't need to treat it as such. And yet there's this huge movement that

01:15:52.520 says just because somebody has something to share that it's relevant. Unfortunately, that's a,

01:15:58.300 that's not really the case, but you know, it's also before you, before you say something,

01:16:02.660 they're like, ask yourself, is it relevant? Is it going to help? Is it part of the solution

01:16:06.340 or the problem? Right. I asked myself, is this qualified? You know, I'm not going to ask a fat

01:16:11.700 person for fitness advice, you know, and people say, oh, you're being judgmental. No, I'm not.

01:16:16.300 I'm really not like, I'm just using discernment. You know, I have friends who are overweight.

01:16:22.520 You know, you sell a product that is yourself, that is fitness. When you yourself look like a

01:16:29.460 bag of ass, you know, you're not toned, you're not tight. You can't run three miles. You can't

01:16:34.800 do any of that. You know, you're, you're aesthetically pleasing, but you still can't

01:16:39.620 perform. Right. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Hey man, as we part, I got to ask, um, I've always been

01:16:45.440 curious about this. I meant to ask you last time we talked when we were, uh, when we were at

01:16:48.760 a summer strong, uh, to Tonka, where does that come from, man?

01:16:53.260 Uh, so the name to Tonka is, uh, Sue word for Buffalo or bull, but I'm not even Sue. I'm,

01:17:01.040 I'm Lippin Apache blood from South Texas. So it's just, what was the first part of that?

01:17:06.020 Uh, what's that? What say what's your, I, I, I get given a nickname. That's a Sue word.

01:17:12.500 Right. And so I'm not even Sue, I'm Lippin Apache. Uh, that's, that's what I have in my

01:17:18.000 blood. And so it's just, um, it was funny when we were sitting around this round table

01:17:22.440 out in East Texas at a ranch where we were training some guys and, um, a buddy of mine

01:17:28.220 who was a seal, who's no longer with us anymore, just kind of, we were talking about movies

01:17:32.540 and they found out that I was Mexican and Native American. And so they, at first it was

01:17:36.780 young guts. Cause we all love the movie young guns. And it was Chavez, you Chavez, Mexican

01:17:41.120 greaser. And then, you know, a couple more drinks came by and, and my buddy, Chris, who's

01:17:46.520 a seal. He, he holds it. We were drinking Woodford reserve. It was his favorite, uh, whiskey.

01:17:51.880 And, um, he puts it up and he goes, right before he takes the drink, he goes, looks over at me

01:17:56.900 and points and he goes to Tonka. And everyone just kind of like cheers. And they're like to Tonka

01:18:00.660 and fucking take a drink. So I just kind of took on the name after, um, you know, I was just

01:18:07.720 kind of like a tribute to him. And so it was just like, man, cause he had a huge

01:18:11.040 impact on my life. So, um, I don't know, that's just kind of where the, where the nickname

01:18:15.900 came. I used to not tell anybody. I used to just be like, ah, I just, just kind of got

01:18:19.620 it. But, um, you know, I, I like to live every day for the guys that I've lost or friends

01:18:25.800 that I've lost. And so that's just a way of doing that. And, um, I make sure that every

01:18:30.080 day is, is better than yesterday. And because those that we lost cannot, aren't here. And

01:18:36.940 you know, they gave the ultimate sacrifice. So best thing we can do is live our life to

01:18:41.320 the, to the fullest for them.

01:18:43.300 So I love it, man. I love, I think that comes back down to motives. Like, are you using it

01:18:47.300 to lift yourself up? Are you doing it in honor of other people? Of course, to help you live

01:18:52.320 a more meaningful life. That's powerful. I like it a lot.

01:18:55.340 Thanks, man.

01:18:56.020 Right on.

01:18:56.940 Well, Hey man, as we wind down, um, I guess a couple of things. The first one is I didn't

01:19:01.900 even tell you about this. I should have. I apologize is I wanted to ask you the question.

01:19:05.700 What do you believe it means to be a man?

01:19:10.420 What do I believe that means to be a man? I believe living by code, one, that's going

01:19:17.840 to take some time to figure out, but having the patience in order to let it come to you.

01:19:22.560 Um, and when you find it, living life to the fullest by way of that code, um, always wanting

01:19:29.740 to be the change that you want to see in the world and always, uh, always open the door

01:19:34.260 for a woman. I like it, man. I like it. Live by code. Very cool. Well, brother, how do

01:19:40.720 we connect with you? Learn more about what you're doing and, uh, and, and point the guys

01:19:44.300 in your direction, man. All I, I got rid of Facebook just, uh, about a couple of years

01:19:50.140 back. Haven't been on it since, but, um, I do have email and, um, an Instagram. You can

01:19:56.660 find my email on my Instagram, which Instagram I'm on quite a bit. So that's, uh, I'm under

01:20:01.060 Tatanka and that's spelled differently. So it's, uh, at T and the O is a zero. So it's

01:20:06.780 T zero T a N K a. And that's my Instagram handle. And, um, same with Twitter. I'm never really

01:20:13.120 on there, but that's the same handle on Twitter. So.

01:20:16.300 Right on, man. We'll connect it all up. I just want to let you know, I appreciate you.

01:20:19.460 I know we didn't know each other real well before summer strong, but just sitting down

01:20:23.060 with you in a limited way, um, learning a little bit more about your story, being able to

01:20:27.260 connect there. I'm inspired by what you're doing, man. I'm inspired by how you show up.

01:20:31.560 You know what I mean? We look at so many guys who we think, you know, have the, the golden

01:20:34.820 spoon, right? Everything works out just perfectly. And that's all wonderful.

01:20:38.920 Everybody's always loved them. Everybody's always liked them.

01:20:41.360 Right. And that's great, you know, but the, the reality is I'm, I'm inspired by guys like

01:20:46.780 yourself who have, who have been in the battle, both literally and figuratively who are,

01:20:51.720 who are doing the work, who have suffered immensely. Um, and yet find ways to overcome

01:20:57.240 that and to, to serve other people. And that's what I'm inspired about you. And I,

01:21:02.160 and I really appreciate our friendship and of course our opportunity to talk today.

01:21:06.040 Man, I, I cherish you as a friend too, man. It's like a brother of the sore next of Bosco

01:21:12.100 brother. Um, you know, I knew when I first saw him, I was like that. First of all, I was like,

01:21:19.000 man, he looks familiar. And so I did my little research. I was like, yeah, that's cool, dude.

01:21:22.600 Like I gotta be him. It's a bird. Bird can say awesome things about you. So, um, I'm really

01:21:28.980 glad we connected and you got me on here. So right on brother. Thanks for, uh, imparting

01:21:33.080 some of your wisdom. Much appreciated. Hey man. Thanks for listening. And thanks for your input.

01:21:38.760 Gentlemen, there you go. My conversation with the one and only Brady Tatanka Cervantes. I hope

01:21:42.780 that you enjoyed the conversation. Uh, as I told you, he's an interesting guy. He's got a lot

01:21:47.780 of good stories to share. He's been through a lot of course, and, um, just impressed with

01:21:52.180 who he is as a human, who he is as a man, of course, his ability to take risks and to

01:21:57.100 put himself out there and to really serve other people. And that's something that I admire

01:22:01.420 about him. And again, respect about him as well. Uh, he did mention how to connect with

01:22:05.280 him. So make sure you do on Instagram, very active over there as M I, uh, at Ryan Mickler.

01:22:11.000 My last name is spelled M I C H L E R. And if you go over to my Instagram page, uh, I'm

01:22:16.080 going to have links for the show notes and for connections with him and, and he'll be

01:22:20.300 tagged on all those posts as well. So you can get linked up through there, but we'd both

01:22:24.340 love to hear from you as far as what you enjoyed about the conversation, what you took away

01:22:28.080 from the conversation, or if you have a similar experiences that you want to share, it's a

01:22:32.380 great place to connect again over at Instagram at Ryan Mickler. And then you can sync up with

01:22:37.560 Brady through that as well. So guys, that's all I've got a couple of, uh, parting announcements

01:22:42.180 that I had mentioned before the iron council order of man.com slash iron council. Uh, you

01:22:47.980 can get joined up for our conversation with commander Mark divine. Uh, also get exclusive

01:22:53.940 access to the iron council exclusive dinner, uh, for our event, which is going to be held

01:22:59.820 August 9th through the 11th. That's called the main event. So if you had to order a man.com

01:23:06.400 slash main event, you can get registered and check it out there. Do it quick. Remember only

01:23:11.480 75 spots. So you got to do it quick. All right, guys, that's all I've got for you today. Let's

01:23:15.660 go out there and, uh, and be the types of fathers and husbands and business owners and community

01:23:19.540 leaders and men that we're capable of being that we want to be and that others are relying

01:23:23.380 upon us to be. All right, guys, go out there, take action, become the man you are meant to

01:23:27.400 be. Thank you for listening to the order of man podcast. You're ready to take charge of

01:23:32.000 your life and be more of the man you were meant to be. We invite you to join the order

01:23:36.180 at order of man.com.

01:23:41.480 Thank you.

Order of Man - June 18, 2019

Live by a Code ｜ BRADY "TOTANKA" CERVANTES

Episode Stats

Length

Words per Minute

Word Count

Sentence Count

Misogynist Sentences

Hate Speech Sentences

Summary

Transcript