Order of Man - Living Life by Your Own Rules

00:00:00.000 It's easy to get distracted by everything that life has to offer us as men, whether we're

00:00:04.920 attempting to live up to impossible standards, chasing other people's dreams or spinning around

00:00:10.340 in circles, being busy, but not necessarily productive. You've got to find a way to focus

00:00:15.700 your attention and energy on things that truly matter. My guest today is Vincent Rocco Vargas.

00:00:21.440 I'll get into all that he's doing in his life in a bit, but for now, let's just say he's found a

00:00:26.140 way to identify and pursue what really matters to him. We talk about becoming a quote unquote ride

00:00:33.060 or die dad, what it means to operate from your power base, evolving your inner circle, learning

00:00:38.900 to lead and follow and how to become a more confident grounded man. You're a man of action.

00:00:45.500 You live life to the fullest, embrace your fears and boldly charge your own path. When life knocks

00:00:50.860 you down, you get back up one more time. Every time you are not easily deterred, defeated,

00:00:56.980 rugged, resilient, strong. This is your life. This is who you are. This is who you will become

00:01:03.620 at the end of the day. And after all is said and done, you can call yourself a man.

00:01:09.400 Gentlemen, what is going on today? My name is Brian Mickler and I am the host and the founder

00:01:13.540 of the Order of Man podcast. I want to welcome you back and welcome you here. Whether you've been

00:01:18.080 with us for any amount of time or you stumbled across this podcast over the past several weeks,

00:01:21.960 you are tapped into what I believe is the greatest resource for men when it comes to conversations and

00:01:29.960 information and resources that you need to step up the way that you want to step up in your family

00:01:36.220 and your business life and your community and every other area of life that you're showing up as

00:01:40.540 we've got some incredible, incredible interviews from guys like Jocko Willink, Grant Cardone,

00:01:47.000 Tim Kennedy, David Goggins, Tom Bilyeu, Andy Frisilla. As I say every week, the lineup of men

00:01:52.440 who have decided to band with us in some capacity is phenomenal. And that's a testament to the fact

00:01:57.280 that we, as men want to be men, we want to learn how to be better men. And we want to apply all this

00:02:02.180 information in our lives to affect better results for us and the people we care about. So I've got a

00:02:07.260 great one lined up for you today. I'm going to get to it in here just a minute. I do want to make a

00:02:11.920 mention of my friends and show sponsors like I do every week. And I want to talk with you about

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00:03:08.380 then use the code order or D E R at checkout again, origin, Maine.com and use the code order at

00:03:15.080 checkout. All right, guys, let me introduce you to my guest, a good friend of mine. His name is

00:03:19.720 Vincent Rocco Vargas. Uh, and if ever there was a renaissance man, he is it. Listen to this lineup.

00:03:26.480 He's a farm, former army ranger and drill sergeant. He's a husband, father, a barber, entrepreneur,

00:03:32.320 a coach, actor, producer, writer. I'm sure I missed about two dozen other things this man is doing,

00:03:37.360 but over the couple of years that I've gotten to know him, I can tell that not only is he someone

00:03:41.200 who's willing to pursue his interest and dreams, but he's also someone who knows exactly what he

00:03:47.460 wants outside of notoriety and popularity and the accolades. And that is to be a great family man.

00:03:54.460 Today, you're going to hear what that looks like, how he found this path and the strategies he uses to

00:04:00.300 pursue everything, everything that he wants. All right, brother, what's going on, man?

00:04:05.900 Lifetime in the works, but I'm glad we're finally able to sit down. You're a busy man.

00:04:10.040 Yeah. Yeah. It's been a little crazy. Is it, uh, is it all good stuff or what? Like where are you

00:04:14.500 at as far as busyness? Yeah. Well, you know, right now it's really a lot of family. Um, my wife is

00:04:21.660 having a baby. It's going to be our first baby together. We're a blended family, but, um, we're actually

00:04:27.460 coming down and having some complications, nothing too crazy, but enough that it causes that extra

00:04:33.040 stress in the household. So working on that. Um, and also, so we have, we have six combined. Okay.

00:04:42.960 I have four for my first marriage. She has two. Um, and then we're having one together and five live

00:04:50.760 with us. My oldest son moved and moved out, wanted to move with his birth mom. And, uh, he had the right

00:04:55.780 to choose that, which is always a tough pill to swallow, but, uh, you know, it's one of those

00:05:01.340 things in growing. So that's a, that's something that we deal with every day, but the rest, you

00:05:05.260 know, they're at the house and we're, we're always working on them. So any added stress is always just

00:05:09.560 kind of, kind of makes things double hard at the household, but it's all good. Right. And then

00:05:13.600 working on all my own stuff, you know, from writing to, uh, music now I'm dabbling into,

00:05:18.860 and as well as the acting, just being able to find my, my creative side as well. Cause that's

00:05:23.900 really what keeps me happy. And then, you know, and still just trying to do a lot for

00:05:28.220 the veteran community, but not only that, whatever spills outside of that, you know, it tends to

00:05:32.660 be, you know, just men in general, um, fathers, uh, you know, just the hardworking, just guy

00:05:38.500 going out there trying to do their thing, you know? Yeah. Yeah. I was going to say, man,

00:05:42.020 you're a bit of a, I guess like a bit of a renaissance man, you know, like army ranger,

00:05:47.900 drill sergeant, writer, musician, actor, barber. I think I've covered, I mean, father, right? Coach,

00:05:58.380 like there's so much that goes into what you're doing. It's insane to me when I see, look from

00:06:02.060 the outside. Like, I think I do a lot and then I see you and I'm like, yeah, I don't do that much.

00:06:06.900 You know, it all, it all comes down to just, uh, leading. Right. And, and, and as well as,

00:06:12.540 as the willingness to throw myself out there, you know, I like, uh, I don't shy away from failure.

00:06:18.520 You know, I'm the guy that like, if I feel like I can do it, I'm going to try. And if I find success,

00:06:23.060 cool. And at the same time, what is success, right? Everyone can kind of determine what their,

00:06:28.360 they, what they identify as success for me. It's just being willingness to go out there and attempt

00:06:32.660 it. Right. And so I attempt a lot of damn things, man. Yeah. How do you decide? Cause I'm sure,

00:06:37.620 I mean, you, you do a lot. I know that. And you're willing to take those risks,

00:06:41.080 but I'm sure there's been ideas that you're like, Oh, that'd be cool. But you don't pursue

00:06:44.500 it for one reason or the other. So like, how do you determine, okay, this is something worthy of

00:06:48.780 my pursuit with all your children and coaching and businesses and everything else you have going on.

00:06:55.200 You know, time is everything, you know, what's going to take the, the, what's going to be more

00:06:59.560 beneficial in time as well as what's going to, if it pulls me away from the family, that's always a

00:07:04.480 hard decision to make. You know, it has to, you know, there has to be some kind of value. If you're

00:07:08.340 going to pull me from my family, there'd better be some monetary value that makes sense. Right.

00:07:12.620 But, uh, for the most part, I have this kind of branding that I try and stick to. And it's really,

00:07:16.360 um, you know, it has to stay to that as long as it stays in that. So writing anything in the

00:07:21.340 writing capacity, I feel comfortable with like writing in my house, like a writer at home,

00:07:24.260 like a writer at my office, I can write anytime when I'm flying. So when you say writing, you can

00:07:28.820 break down writing in so many different levels, writing a script, writing a song, writing a poem,

00:07:32.320 writing a book, you know what I mean? And so all those are, or writing a speech,

00:07:35.940 right. So all that is, is in this realm that I always like to exist. And then from there,

00:07:41.800 like coaching, like it makes sense because I'm home right now, uh, to coach my kids. And like,

00:07:46.600 I think that's a big part of what I should be doing anyways. And so I make sure that makes the

00:07:50.520 time for that. Um, I've walked away from a lot of businesses that took time away from family

00:07:55.640 and at the same time, didn't find fulfillment in right. You know, there was, there was things that

00:08:00.420 didn't make sense, you know, and, and it didn't monetarily make sense either, you know? And so

00:08:05.740 I've done a lot of investing back into myself and, and my mission. And what I'm trying to do is just

00:08:11.780 really being a positive influence for, for, for people out there, men, women, children,

00:08:15.740 doesn't matter. But, uh, in that sense, if it doesn't, if it doesn't align with those morals,

00:08:20.700 values, and belief systems, and I, you know, I obviously have to take a back seat, you know?

00:08:25.320 And so that's really how I kind of choose what I'm going to go forward with, right? Music.

00:08:29.260 I think music is another medium. It's just like writing. It's just like poems,

00:08:32.320 um, and being able to find a space that is comfortable for me. I'm not a rapper, right?

00:08:37.060 I'm not, I'm also not the greatest of singers, but where's this equal medium where I can play

00:08:41.800 with and still be able to express, um, you know, some profound messages that I think will, uh, you

00:08:48.160 know, resonate with a lot of people. Well, that's, that's where I'm going to try and go with it.

00:08:51.300 Yeah. Do you consider, so you said morals, values, belief systems. I think those are all good

00:08:56.100 things. Is that what you would consider? You use the word branding. Is that what you would

00:08:59.880 consider your, your brand or maybe I'm misinterpreting how you meant that?

00:09:03.980 No, no. Yeah. It's, it's tough. I think, I think very similar to what your brand, right? You know,

00:09:09.560 and I say brand it's, it's really, I know who I am and what I want to represent and what I do

00:09:14.540 represent without trying, right? Like, like if you're having to go out of your way to make an

00:09:18.580 effort, it's not genuine. I'm not going out of my way to make an effort. It's the same thing,

00:09:22.420 the way I raise my kids and any content I put out from now on, um, has to represent that. And I

00:09:29.160 can't be turned around and be embarrassed by it when my kids get old enough to watch it.

00:09:32.700 I didn't start that way. You know, I didn't start that way. I started out just doing entertainment

00:09:37.180 and making funny jokes and all this. And, you know, some stuff I'm not too proud of. And so I

00:09:41.260 started, when I started to sit back and think about it and like, man, this is probably not something,

00:09:46.200 you know, aside of me, I would appreciate my kids learning from, you know, and that's not the guy,

00:09:51.320 you know? And so I stopped trying to do things for that, for the attention, for the, for the,

00:09:57.500 for the shock value of a conversation. I stopped doing that because I didn't find value in that.

00:10:02.800 Like internally, personally, I was like, it's, it's, uh, spikes in following, but it's not longevity

00:10:09.540 in, in respect. You know what I mean? And, and so in my branding, I said, that doesn't make sense.

00:10:16.760 Boom. Push it out. What makes sense to me is being me. If I have to go out of my way to be something

00:10:21.360 I'm not, it's not genuine. It's not real. And, and I, and I don't want to wake up every day trying to be

00:10:25.800 a character, right? I don't want to wake up every day. I'm like, let me post my social media, how much

00:10:30.360 I do workouts because that's what people like to see. Bullshit, man. I'm a guy who struggles with

00:10:36.000 working out. I'm a guy that doesn't get the workout in every day because I find other things too, but

00:10:40.760 also I'm also the guy that knows I should be, you know what I mean? Yeah. And people, people can

00:10:46.280 understand like, there's a truth to me is I struggle with eating tacos or going to the gym, you know what I

00:10:50.800 mean? Yeah. And I'm okay with that because I know who I am. Do I want to get in better shape

00:10:57.020 every day? I know how important being fit is for the family, for myself, for, for any

00:11:03.480 altercation potentially. Do I have the stamina right now to defend my family if I need it?

00:11:08.860 I don't know. And that's always an uncomfortable question to try and answer for myself. But like I

00:11:14.180 said, but I'm not the guy that goes around and tells everyone I'm working out every day at 430.

00:11:18.440 I'm not Jocko because I'm definitely not waking up at 430, bro. You know? And so, you know, in,

00:11:24.160 in everything that I'm doing, I'm trying to make sure that my branding stays genuine to who I really

00:11:29.240 am and not the character that people want me to be. Yeah. I think that's valuable. You know, I, I got

00:11:34.760 caught up in that a little bit early on as I started the podcast, like trying to figure out what people

00:11:39.700 wanted and how I was supposed to present myself. And the more that I've moved into, you know, I'm

00:11:44.580 aspirational, right? I have things that I want to accomplish like you, but the more that

00:11:48.220 I've stepped just into who I am, what I'm comfortable talking about, what I like to talk

00:11:53.200 about, what brings me fulfillment. Not only is it better for me and my family, but I've noticed that

00:11:59.000 more people are attracted to that than my bullshit. Anyways, I think that's why people are attracted to

00:12:04.160 you because yeah, even though you don't get up at 430, they see themselves in you because you're being

00:12:09.100 real. Jocko is being real. But if you take somebody else who, you know, they don't get up at 430

00:12:16.120 and they pretend they get up at 430, that turns people off.

00:12:20.640 Yeah, no, exactly. It has to be you, man. And like, I'm never going to be Jocko. That dude is

00:12:25.140 like super cool, motivated, but that's just not me either. Right. And even if I tried to be stern

00:12:30.780 and serious, that wouldn't come off genuine because it's not me either. Right. And so it's like,

00:12:35.500 you know, back in the day when social media was started, it was these, these spikes in,

00:12:40.580 in attention, right? People needed to be extreme and, and, and all these crazy things for you to

00:12:48.140 get these followings, for you to get these shares. You had to be something. Whoa, it's so cool. I

00:12:52.400 think that is exhausted now. And people are just looking for real, like who is just real, man. Who's

00:12:57.720 not throwing smoke and mirrors just to get me to laugh? Who's the guy that's actually, damn, I could

00:13:02.660 actually have a beer with that guy. I would love to smoke a cigar and have a conversation with that guy.

00:13:05.960 And I, and I think that holds more power. And if it doesn't, you know what, it's not exhausting,

00:13:11.140 right? Yeah. It's not exhausting being me. I wake up and I'm me dude. And I don't have to worry about

00:13:15.680 anything else. And when you can live like that, it's very comfortable, man. Do you feel like you've

00:13:20.760 had to, I don't know, redefine yourself or evolve? I mean, I, I take somebody, for example,

00:13:26.100 you know, you think about, I think about my drill sergeants anyways, and I'm like, man,

00:13:29.320 these are not guys that I want to like hang out with. And I imagine you stepped into that role

00:13:34.880 pretty well. And then, and then you have these other roles that you play, which don't always

00:13:39.500 align perfectly with what they are. Like, how have you redefined yourself as you've gotten older,

00:13:44.380 as you've matured, as you've thought about new things that you wanted to accomplish,

00:13:48.480 priorities change, et cetera, et cetera. You know, um, by the time I became a drill sergeant,

00:13:54.380 actually pushing troops, I've, I've already went through some huge leaps and bounds and growth and,

00:13:59.920 and really identifying what I want to represent as a drone sergeant or like as a drill sergeant,

00:14:04.120 right. And that was huge because a lot of the guys around me haven't, a lot of guys were like

00:14:08.260 super pumped. They got their hat and their, and their badge. And you know, the, now that, yeah,

00:14:12.060 now they got their license plates. Oh yeah, bro. And it's, and it's, it's not what it really should

00:14:19.820 be, right? Like you, the hat shouldn't define you. If I, and I, and I explain it that way, like,

00:14:25.620 you know, my ranger tab didn't define me either. What defined me still at that point in my life was

00:14:30.660 being a good dad and a good leader. And when I first got as a drill sergeant, I was, I was just

00:14:37.680 like them excited to be a drill sergeant. Let me smoke all the privates I can and let me just fuck

00:14:41.240 them up. You know what I mean? And after my first cycle, we had a guy get deployed and within 30,

00:14:47.020 40 days he was killed in Iraq. And that kind of set a presence in me from, from then on till the rest

00:14:52.860 of my life still to this day is what is the intent of my job? The intent of a drill sergeant,

00:14:58.600 and the intent is so huge in my life, that word and everything I do has to like, it goes around

00:15:03.720 that. I kind of, if you put intent in the center and then you circle that and you put all the lines

00:15:07.760 out, like what's my intent to the father? What's my intent to the businessman? What's my intent as

00:15:11.160 a fucking entertainer? That is like the biggest thing that answers questions for me, right? When I

00:15:16.580 really have to do a deep dive in myself, that what's the intent. And as a drill sergeant during

00:15:21.640 OIF, OEF during this time, our full intent is to train them for combat, to get them ready for war,

00:15:29.260 right? To be the best leader possible. And so from that day forward, I gave them my heart,

00:15:34.180 man. I stopped being drill sergeant and I became dad. And this is part of a leadership book I'm

00:15:39.420 working on is genuinely, I cared about every single one of these kids. I wanted to see them find success.

00:15:44.680 I wanted to see them get motivated. I had to identify what motivates each one of them.

00:15:49.660 And that is where it started where like me was like, oh man, I'm doing this with these soldiers,

00:15:54.200 giving them everything I possibly can because I care. But that doesn't mean I can't be stern,

00:15:58.260 right? That doesn't mean I can't teach them, you know, the morals and values and everything that

00:16:02.300 represents as a military personnel and rank structure. But it also doesn't mean I can't just

00:16:06.740 take off the hat and say, hey soldier, I know you're having a hard time. I've been there. You know what I

00:16:12.080 mean? And do that, that face to face that when you go to your kid and you go down to their level

00:16:15.640 and talk to them kind of thing. Like I was willing to do that when most didn't understand why they

00:16:20.660 were like, what do you do a drill sergeant? Like, what do you mean? What we're doing here is training

00:16:24.440 men and women for combat. That doesn't mean we have to, they have to be callous, right? We have to,

00:16:29.620 you know, there has to be a heart and soul in what we do. I think there's a lot of love and

00:16:33.440 leadership. And, and that actually made me flip and say, why am I not doing this with my own kids

00:16:40.220 as well? And so, and this is part of the book that I'm working on is like, you know, I think it's,

00:16:44.820 there's a big parallels to being a leader in the family household as well as, uh, you know,

00:16:49.380 raising men and women for combat. Um, but that's what I kind of knew who I was then. And then as

00:16:56.480 the social media thing popped, I started doing border patrol, started doing all that stuff. And

00:16:59.940 really, I just, I knew my lane and knew what I wanted to represent, but then social media popped

00:17:04.620 and it was this timeframe of about two years of trying to understand it, figure it out as well

00:17:10.880 as please everyone around you. And, and that was a kind of a lost time for me. You know, I became a

00:17:16.360 single dad. Um, I'm, I'm dealing with business partners and trying to figure out whether I want

00:17:21.000 to continue in this path or not. Did I make the right decision walking away from a federal government

00:17:24.740 job, you know? And so all these things, you know, and I started to realize like, go back to who you

00:17:31.180 are, you know who you are, you know what you want to represent. You give a shit, right? Like I just

00:17:35.060 give a shit about people. Oh. And so, so I wanted to make sure that every day is easy, meaning like

00:17:42.240 it's not fabricated. It's not, it's not exhausting being me. And so I never changed. I always posted my

00:17:48.240 kids on my social media from day one all the way till now. I'll always post what's real in my life.

00:17:52.800 You'll get your marketing posts once in a while because I got to push a product because this is how I

00:17:57.000 make my living as well. But at the same time, you're always going to get the most genuine sides

00:18:00.940 of my life, you know? And so people have been through my divorces. People have been there when

00:18:05.080 I was a single dad. People have been there when I met my wife and now continue my life now. And I

00:18:10.320 think that's what has been very powerful and people saying, ah, this guy's not perfect. He goes through

00:18:16.520 shit and we all go through shit, you know? And so trying to maintain that now, it gets harder,

00:18:22.900 right? I wake up with, with a lot of messages and I'm trying to communicate with everyone fairly,

00:18:27.720 you know, that, that, that I guess that is worth communicating with, not just like, Hey,

00:18:32.260 but like the guys that really ask questions, I dig deep with them. You know, a lot of these people,

00:18:36.680 I give my number. I don't, I don't care when it comes to someone really looking for information.

00:18:40.320 Like you got me, I'm, I'm no one different than anyone else. And I want to make sure everyone

00:18:44.480 knows that till the day I die, I'll still be Vince Vargas and, and, and just a guy trying to figure it

00:18:51.640 out to help others as well. It's powerful, man. It's a really powerful perspective. You know,

00:18:55.860 when, when you're going back to a drill sergeant days and you were talking a little bit about that,

00:19:00.400 I think there's a misconception that somehow taken off the hat, literally and figuratively

00:19:05.360 and like getting down face to face with a soldier somehow undermines your position of authority or

00:19:10.620 credibility. But I've found the exact opposite, you know, like we had a drill, we had a drill sergeant.

00:19:16.400 So I went, I went through basic training in 1999. I went to Fort Sill and we had a drill sergeant who

00:19:20.800 like, I really admired and respected the guy. He was tough as hell, man. And he was hard,

00:19:26.400 like really hard on us. Some more than others, not me fortunately, because I was doing what I

00:19:30.360 supposed to be doing, but man, he was the guy that I admired, respected. And I remember he came up

00:19:35.420 after basic training and he went to shake my hand. I had my glove on and I went to shake his hand. He's

00:19:41.500 like, Hey, never shake somebody's hand with your glove on. And so I took my glove off and I shook his

00:19:46.440 hand and he says, I just want you to know that I really appreciate you coming through this.

00:19:52.140 I had a great time in me and a couple of the guys that I was in high school with were with me. And

00:19:56.260 they said, I really appreciate you guys. I respect you guys. You went through this the right way. I

00:20:02.040 know I came down hard on you, but I saw a lot more in you than I saw in other guys, like the way that

00:20:07.220 he connected with us through the cycle, but then also afterwards, like I'll never forget that drill

00:20:12.740 sergeant. And that's the thing where people think, Oh, this undermines your leadership. No,

00:20:18.660 it elevates it. It puts you in a better position when you connect with people personally.

00:20:23.500 Yeah. You know what it does? It humanizes them, but also humanizes like, man, wait,

00:20:27.540 this guy is completely normal dude, but he's so like high up there on the respect factor. Like

00:20:32.600 I aspire to be that. You know what I mean? Sure. It's respect. It's just, it's when you,

00:20:38.060 you know, I say you walk, we all walk in the room with this, with the same level of power base.

00:20:42.400 When I say power base is like everyone in the room without opening your mouth,

00:20:45.400 they have some kind of respect for you. They'll look at the way you look. They'll

00:20:48.100 look at the way you dress. They'll just kind of already make a predetermination of

00:20:51.300 you. And then you open your fricking mouth and that's up to you to keep that

00:20:54.640 fucking level of respect up here or lose it. You know what I mean? Yeah.

00:20:58.520 Good point. And as a drill sergeant, I see that I walk into a room with Ranger this

00:21:02.360 and bells and whistles on my chest. Everyone right away was like, Oh crap,

00:21:05.260 this dude's scary. Then I open my mouth. It's like, do I maintain that respect?

00:21:08.920 Do they continue or do they lose respect for me? Am I the guy that lies to them

00:21:12.960 about like, Oh, the, the mass, the max distance of a 203 is 900 meters. Like,

00:21:17.060 bro, that's not true. Right. But like, but these guys, you know, like once you

00:21:20.360 start losing this little respect here, little respect there, you know, that

00:21:23.120 power base lowers. And, and then, and then you start putting themselves on the

00:21:26.420 same level as them and you're like, why am I going to listen to this guy? You

00:21:28.960 know what I mean? I don't even respect the dude. And that is where we lose.

00:21:31.960 And that's the same as parents, right? Parents who lie to their kids. I think it's

00:21:35.400 funny because it's like, uh, you don't realize how smart your kids are. They

00:21:39.440 figure it all out, you know? And once they can Google it, they're going to be

00:21:42.400 like, Oh, dad's full of shit. Yeah. You know? And so I do the same with my kids.

00:21:47.460 I keep such honest dialogue with them and obviously it ranges to how old they are

00:21:52.660 and what they can, you know, what I feel they're, they're capable of

00:21:55.020 understanding. But like, you know, my 14, 15, 16 year olds, you know, my 14 and 17

00:21:59.560 year olds, you know, they get, they get the most honest side of, of reality and

00:22:03.340 life and perspective, you know, sex boys, but like whatever reality, because I

00:22:08.420 think, um, I, I owe it to them to give them the most honest perspective in life

00:22:13.060 because who else will do that? Yeah. Well, that's the problem. Like if we

00:22:16.380 can't be real and true with our kids, they're going to look for that

00:22:20.220 information somewhere. So, I mean, it should come from us like truth about,

00:22:25.460 like you said, pornography, sex, drugs, evil in the world, like everything that

00:22:30.320 you don't want to talk about is the exact shit that you, you should probably

00:22:33.840 talk about with your kids. Yeah. Yeah. And you know, it's funny. I was talking to

00:22:38.960 my 17 year old and I told, I said, you ever heard the term ride or die? Like

00:22:42.980 people use it, they throw it in and she goes, yeah, yeah. I was like, well, I'm

00:22:45.760 your ride or die dad. Meaning I'm the guy you go to for everything because I'm the

00:22:51.680 guy who's going to give you the most honest perspective of it all. And in the

00:22:55.720 worst case scenario in your life, when you're embarrassed, you did something so

00:22:58.400 stupid. You're like, I don't know who to turn to. You turned to your ride or die

00:23:01.760 dad, because this dude will have an answer. He's never going to judge you.

00:23:06.120 And well, I might, I might be pissed, but that doesn't change the fact that I love

00:23:10.140 you and I want just the best for you. So I'm the guy, like I need them to know,

00:23:14.780 like I'm the safety net, you know, with, with, with maybe some scalding in that

00:23:19.280 and maybe a long quiet drive of me just yelling at you saying, what are you

00:23:22.360 thinking? That's not smart. In the end of the day, it's all rooted from love.

00:23:26.700 Like I am your safety net in everything in life from relationships to, to

00:23:31.460 addictions, to, to anything, any kind of failure and success. I'm the biggest high

00:23:37.020 five you're going to have. You know what I mean? And so it's like, they need to know

00:23:40.700 that. And, and, and I told her, I was like, don't ever think I'm not the guy

00:23:44.680 because I'm the only guy, right? Like I'm the guy and mom is the mom, right? Like you

00:23:50.360 have that here. No one else you'll have in your life. You'll have friends and all that.

00:23:54.320 But in the end, we're the ones who've experienced life and so much, so many

00:23:58.600 different levels of it. So profound that like, all I have is answers for what I

00:24:02.620 did wrong. Let me give those to you. So maybe you can have a one step.

00:24:09.640 No, that's a great point. I, I really admire. And, and, and when I see you on

00:24:14.080 social media, I think you had posted just the other day about, uh, your daughter

00:24:18.620 wrestling. And I think she had a lot, it looked based on the picture and what you

00:24:23.160 were talking about that maybe she lost her match at the tournament or whatever.

00:24:25.780 And, and I just thought, man, that's a powerful moment. Like you, the picture is

00:24:29.740 awesome. Cause you're like, she's got her head down black and white kind of sets the

00:24:34.120 tone of it. And you're just face to face, eye level to eye level. And I just thought

00:24:38.220 that was so powerful. And, and I went, I think, I honestly believe that the world

00:24:42.580 would just be a better place if more dads were involved to that degree with their

00:24:47.700 daughters and sons. It would completely transform the landscape of culture and

00:24:52.340 society. Yeah. You know, it's funny. Like you see even mom in the background

00:24:56.780 with the face of the nerves, but like mom knows this is my time. Like this is what

00:25:00.560 dad does. And you know, I, I grabbed her hand and I got down and said, it's okay.

00:25:05.680 Losing's okay. Like we're okay with losing. What did we learn? Let's get better. No

00:25:11.200 one's mad. You know what I mean? Like genuinely. And she's like, I just get

00:25:14.440 frustrated when losing like it. Yeah, but that's good. You should be frustrated.

00:25:17.700 Now what do we do with it? Right. Yeah. Yeah. That's a good, that's a good

00:25:20.900 feeling to have because now you're like, hopefully that motivates you to do more

00:25:23.940 practice harder, fine tune those little mistakes. But like in the end of the day,

00:25:29.900 you're safe. I'm here. Like you can always turn and be like, dad, yeah, I'm

00:25:33.700 supporting you. You know? And it's this interesting thing where like, I actually

00:25:37.340 love their losses. I just hate them for them. Right. Like, yeah. I hate watching.

00:25:42.040 Yeah. But I love it because like, good. It's right. Jocko's good. Right. Like you

00:25:48.860 should face these in life because you know what, when you're 18, you're going to

00:25:53.620 have a lot of those. When you're 19, 20, when you're 30, when you're 40, you're

00:25:57.420 going to have a lot of these little losses that hurt inside, but you're also

00:26:00.640 going to know that it'll pass. I can get better. I can work on things. It's the

00:26:06.520 self accountability thing that we all need. But for some reason, no one wants to allow

00:26:10.040 their kids to have, you know what I mean? Like no one wants their kids to lose.

00:26:13.780 Why lose? It's okay. I'm the backstop. I'll be there to pick you up and push you

00:26:18.400 back on the mat, you know? And, and we just need more losing, you know, because

00:26:22.680 the building of resiliency is so important that for some reason, society has not

00:26:27.340 allowed their kids to have anymore. I just, well, I think that's true. I think

00:26:31.320 where it comes from is a position of selfishness, right? Cause you actually

00:26:35.120 alluded, alluded to it. Cause you said it sucks for me. Like it's a

00:26:40.020 it's not that you're like these helicopter parents and these parents who

00:26:43.280 aren't willing to expose their kids to loss and failure and ridicule and

00:26:46.120 mockery and everything else. They aren't doing it for their kids. They say they

00:26:49.580 are like, Oh, I don't want my kids to feel bad. Bullshit. You don't want

00:26:52.460 yourself to feel bad. And so you're sparing yourself and your feelings from

00:26:57.460 allowing your child to have an experience in a controlled environment that

00:27:02.520 will let them respond positively to failure. Cause look, when you're out of the

00:27:06.480 picture, when you're done helicoptering, because you're not around or because

00:27:10.320 they despise you, they won't know how to deal with hardship and failure, which

00:27:15.420 will inevitably come. You better teach them how to handle that stuff.

00:27:18.980 Yeah. If you're not the person they go to now for answers, you're never going to

00:27:21.760 be the person that goes for answers. Right. You know what I mean? If you're not the

00:27:24.700 person they go to to hug when they're hurt, they're not going to come to you when

00:27:27.520 they're freaking hugging when they're hurt as an adult. They're not.

00:27:30.960 Yeah. I mean, that's, that's true. Yeah, it's true. I want to go back to, uh, what

00:27:37.900 you were talking about with this idea of the power base. Cause I think that makes

00:27:41.340 a lot of sense. Is that an idea that, that you just like you stumbled upon? Is

00:27:46.680 that something that you've been deliberate about? Like, how do I establish my, my

00:27:51.160 own personal power base? Like, tell me more about that.

00:27:54.300 Yeah. Yeah. You know, it comes from when I, when I was becoming a drill. So when I

00:27:58.140 became a drill sergeant, when I'm in school becoming a drill sergeant, watching

00:28:00.920 other drill sergeants and I'd watch them walk into the room. I mean, this started

00:28:04.880 even as a young soldier, you know, and you look at the, look at your drills and

00:28:07.740 you're like already judging each one of them before they've opened their mouth.

00:28:10.660 We, we do it. We, we size up everyone, you know, and in that size up, we all

00:28:15.680 determine already what we think of a person. And then they open their mouth and

00:28:19.540 they start to instruct or they start to teach or they start to lead. And you're

00:28:22.240 like, ah, you know what? They're not as cool as I thought because of

00:28:25.780 whatever issues, whether they lied, whether they're, you go to do PT and

00:28:29.500 they're not as good at PT, whatever the case is, it's the power base is, is

00:28:33.420 either it stays up above their head or it slowly starts to dwindle down to a

00:28:37.040 point where you lose respect. And this is really a respect thing. It's really

00:28:40.240 like, if you're in a position as a drill sergeant, are you a good drill

00:28:43.560 sergeant? Do you have respect for others as well? Are you earning that respect as

00:28:47.360 much as you're demanding that respect, right? Do you hold the attention of the

00:28:50.600 room? If I walk into a room as a drill sergeant and I'm overweight and I use this

00:28:54.460 because it happens all the time. But right away, your power base is diminished

00:28:59.380 because people are like, huh, that's a drill sergeant, right? And same thing as

00:29:04.260 like a cop or, or, or an MMA fighter, right? You're like, I don't know if he's

00:29:08.560 going to win. It looks a little soft, you know, but that's because you've already

00:29:12.100 determined in your head and all the pre-exceed notions of what he looks like

00:29:15.620 and what their job is and the position that they hold. Are they holding it to the

00:29:19.480 standard? I don't know. It doesn't seem like it. You know, and then you can look at

00:29:22.760 other guys like, oh, that dude is a badass. And then you wait for him to open

00:29:26.860 his mouth and see if he can maintain that. You know what I mean? And that's

00:29:29.920 based, that's based off their own arrogance, ego, right? All the stuff spews

00:29:33.880 out of people. They don't realize it, but it does. There's guys on social media

00:29:37.780 that are following, man, that guy's a beast. But, ah, you know, you can tell

00:29:40.880 there's a little insecurities there because the way he just spills like

00:29:43.260 insecurities out, you know, right. You know, the angry ranters or whatnot. I'm

00:29:47.600 always like, wow, like that's what you want to put out into the world. That's

00:29:51.820 on you, dude. But I'm sitting back watching him. Like, that's probably not

00:29:55.300 the guy I want to have a beer with, smoke cigar with, and actually share any kind

00:29:59.180 of intimate moments with, because, you know, that's not what I want to surround

00:30:03.160 myself with. But that comes from power base, right? And that's where I've

00:30:06.640 determined it. You know, it's, that's where it came from. I wanted to walk into a

00:30:09.900 room as a drill sergeant and I wanted people, one, to already have respect for me

00:30:13.100 because the way I carried myself, the confidence, you could already see all the

00:30:17.240 stuff that I've earned in the military. You know, at the same time, I wanted to be

00:30:21.480 able to hold that and, and, and, and be able to be the person they expected. As I

00:30:26.060 walked in, I wanted no change. When I opened my mouth, I wanted to maintain that

00:30:29.740 same respect the whole time. Why was that important for you? Because as a drill

00:30:35.220 sergeant, someone who is training these, these men and women for war, you should be

00:30:39.960 held to a higher standard and they, you should never lose that, right?

00:30:42.980 Like they knew I was willing to come down to the level and talk to them. And

00:30:46.560 they also knew when the hat was back on or when that moment was done, I go right

00:30:50.380 back to drill Sean Vargas. Don't fuck with the dude. He means shit, right? Like

00:30:53.640 he's the real deal. And because that I think carried for them in the future is

00:30:59.460 what they would want to do for themselves. I think it's leading from the

00:31:01.580 front, leading by example, being a very strong role model for an individual, you

00:31:05.340 know? And I think that's huge. That's so important for, for them to want to

00:31:09.720 aspire to be in the future. And so for me, I just want, and I,

00:31:12.960 and I cared about my job that much. I wanted to maintain that respect factor.

00:31:18.220 That was like, this dude is the real deal. Like that was important to me because

00:31:22.660 that's how much effort I put into it as well. You know, I, I believe in good

00:31:26.460 leadership and I believe good leadership builds future leaders, you know? And, and

00:31:30.780 so that's the goal, right? I wanted to make the, the, the army a stronger and

00:31:34.660 better place. And if I was just that small footprint, fine.

00:31:37.400 I like the idea of honoring, honoring the title, honoring the position. I think it's

00:31:43.700 really valuable, whether it's something as significant as, you know, being a drill

00:31:48.400 sergeant, being in the, in the military or something that you may feel is like

00:31:52.620 insignificant, like cleaning, cleaning the toilets as a janitor, like, like honor what

00:31:57.300 you're doing, right? Honor your role, whatever role you're playing in the moment. And I think

00:32:00.940 it's easy to look at other people and, and start to identify like their power base and whether

00:32:05.540 what they're doing matches up or not. But I think we ought to use it as an exercise to

00:32:09.780 look at ourselves too. Right. It's like, what is my power base? Cause some guys will

00:32:13.960 say, you know, they'll point fingers at everybody else and yet they're never willing

00:32:17.980 to look at themselves. Like they'll say, well, this is just the way I am. People

00:32:21.020 should just like me or, or they won't wear, you know, clothes that represent what it is

00:32:25.980 they're trying to portray or, you know, they won't keep themselves clean and tidy or

00:32:30.680 learn communication skills or learn how to speak in public. Cause they're like,

00:32:33.700 well, it's just the way I am. People should just accept it. It's like, man, improve, get

00:32:38.340 better. Like think about the way that people are viewing you.

00:32:41.140 That's exactly it. It's, it's get better. It's, it's, I think we're, we're constantly,

00:32:45.920 we should be striving to, for constant growth. There should never be a time I'm complacent

00:32:50.600 with self, right? Because I think there's so much information out there. So many mindsets,

00:32:56.220 so many, so many different things out there. Like, why aren't we looking to research all of

00:32:59.960 them and take a little from each one you like and get rid of the ones you don't like?

00:33:03.360 I, I feel like if, if you look at the circle of friends, you know, that I started out with

00:33:09.000 in the beginning of like, I just, just say high school, you know, some of us grew past

00:33:13.600 that circle. Some of us are still in that circle, you know what I mean? And that's okay. But

00:33:18.200 me personally, what I want to be for myself, like in the end, like in, in you, you'll, I

00:33:22.580 think you would appreciate this. Like I started out in probably lower middle class as a, as a

00:33:27.500 family and I'm trying to move my family. And my mother was poor. Like my mother was like,

00:33:32.900 when I say poor, I'm talking Adobe house, picking fruit as a 10 year old kid, just so they can have

00:33:37.460 dinner. Right. You know what I mean? Going to me where she's, where she's developed and put

00:33:42.700 created for me and my brothers and sisters and what I want to create for my kids. And then what I want

00:33:47.800 my kids to create for their kids. The goal is to always find growth. And if you're not growing,

00:33:51.380 I feel like we're not respecting the people before us. I'm not respecting my parents if I'm

00:33:55.840 not striving to be something more because how hard she worked to get us where we are.

00:34:00.620 And so with that mindset is like, look, I had to join the military to go to college because my

00:34:04.460 parents didn't have the money to send me to college. But my goal is hopefully put my kids

00:34:08.420 in a position where they are all going to college or at least having the option for college if they

00:34:12.700 wanted. And then their kids hopefully will all strive to hopefully be doctors and lawyers and

00:34:17.500 whatever the case. But we're moving the family tree into this, to this area where like, we are

00:34:22.940 very successful and wealthy family and wealth doesn't equate to like happiness, but success is

00:34:29.540 like, it's like it hopefully breeds more success, which means like they're going to find themselves

00:34:33.880 in corporate freaking leadership positions. They're going to find themselves in, in high areas that

00:34:38.040 the Vargas is back then would never have ever imagined. And it's just this being able to,

00:34:45.140 to self-accountable for your actions and grow. Like, I just want my family to grow.

00:34:48.820 Like my daughter was like, dad, you know what? It'd be really cool to be a president. I'm like,

00:34:52.380 a president right now. I'm like, there's nothing that says you can't like genuinely.

00:34:56.980 It would be cool.

00:34:57.820 Genuinely. Yeah. Like it genuine, nothing says you can't.

00:35:01.720 Yeah. Here's, I can give you a layout. What's the best direction to start going that way.

00:35:05.180 You know what I mean? And she's like, really? I'm like, yes, that's how legit it is possible.

00:35:09.580 Right. And so it's, and it's like, I never would have imagined my daughter saying that. And it was really cool to hear.

00:35:16.140 Man, let me hit the, uh, the pause button on the conversation really quickly, because I want to

00:35:19.920 let you in on some very important information. Uh, we are getting very, very close on closing up our

00:35:25.900 third inaugural legacy experience, uh, which is being held June 11th through the 14th, 2020 on my

00:35:32.000 property here in Maine. So I want you to check your calendars. If you have a son between the ages of

00:35:36.960 eight to 15, again, June 11th through the 14th, 2020. Uh, I just had a contractor come out last week

00:35:43.120 for a couple of, uh, build outs that were taken care of prior to the fathers and sons who will

00:35:48.560 be coming out and attending. Uh, but this is going to be an event unlike any other for you and your son

00:35:53.240 again, between the ages of eight to 15, uh, the whole weekend is designed to be mentally, physically,

00:35:58.460 and emotionally demanding, uh, so that you and your son will walk away with a new perspective

00:36:02.860 on your relationship and life in general, and a deeper bond between you two. I've seen

00:36:08.560 absolutely incredible transformations and father son relationships, uh, through this three and a

00:36:14.000 half day experience. And I want you guys to experience that for yourself. So if you're

00:36:18.000 interested, uh, head to order of man.com slash legacy, you're going to watch a quick, uh, three

00:36:22.740 to five minute video, and then you can lock in one of the last two, two remaining spots. Again,

00:36:27.580 head to order of man.com slash legacy, watch that video, claim your spot, and we'll look forward

00:36:33.380 to seeing you on June 11th through the 14th. And we're going to do all we can to transform you

00:36:37.620 and your son's relationship and life in general. All right. Order of man.com slash legacy for

00:36:43.460 now. Let's get back to my conversation with Vince. Yeah, that is cool. I like that. You're

00:36:49.000 talking about not only, not only do you encourage in that instance, but you're like, okay, and

00:36:52.800 here's the route, right? Like my, my son is my oldest son. He, he, when he was younger,

00:36:58.000 he wanted to be a cow quote unquote cowboy animal doctor. And so I'm like, rad, let's, let's do that.

00:37:03.840 So we introduced him to the rodeo. I connected with him with, uh, guys who were in the rodeo.

00:37:09.600 Uh, I called up veterinarians in the community and I said, Hey, um, can I just bring my son

00:37:14.020 in to, to like watch you for an hour? And they're like, Oh, we're just doing like tooth extractions

00:37:19.060 on cats. I'm like, actually, I want to see that. So like, so I'd bring my son in there

00:37:24.360 while they'd extract teeth from cats and try to feed him pills. And like, it was, it was awesome,

00:37:29.780 but that's our job, right? Like our job is not only to encourage, but then facilitate

00:37:33.740 that growth as well to teach them the path, get them on the path itself.

00:37:39.020 That's it. And that's exactly like, so any of my kids, they say they want to do something.

00:37:42.020 Cool. Let's do it. Here's, here's the path.

00:37:43.940 Right. Yeah. I like too, that you're talking about evolving your circle because I know a

00:37:48.840 lot of guys who are stuck with their existing circle because maybe they think less of themselves.

00:37:54.620 Uh, maybe they feel some sort of like loyalty, right? So they're like, well, I just have to be

00:38:01.220 with these guys. Cause they've been my, my, my boys, you know, for the last 20 years since we

00:38:05.120 were in middle school and they never evolve out of these relationships. What's your take on that?

00:38:09.700 Yeah. Yeah. And that's, you know, I think it's hard for everyone because we build these friendships

00:38:14.480 and, and, you know, these loyalties and we come from a background of like brotherhood and we stay

00:38:19.220 together and, you know, never leave a man behind. But in the end, I think the biggest competition

00:38:23.520 I have is with myself and, and I, I have to continue to push myself to be better for the

00:38:28.880 family. Right. And so my circle, my legit circle is my blood family. That's my circle

00:38:35.240 and they have to grow. And if I'm not making, if I'm not making choices to help that circle

00:38:39.960 grow, then my outer circle is not helping me either. Like I have friends now that kind

00:38:44.180 of push me to do more. I'm like, that's a cool circle to be in, but eventually I want

00:38:48.500 them to do more too. Right. Like, like we have to, and, and, you know, I've had to step

00:38:53.740 out of several different circles to get to where I'm at now. Cause if I didn't, I still

00:38:57.180 would have been doing the same thing and I never would have been genuinely happy. Would

00:39:01.520 it be fun? Oh, of course. It's always fun to be around your boys and having a good old

00:39:05.060 time. But does it accomplish goals that I want personally? Like deep in here, right?

00:39:10.840 Is it my goal? No, I had to step out to do my goal to do what I believe to do what's

00:39:16.720 good for my family. And it's not the, the popular, you know, decision to make and your

00:39:22.220 circles get offended and whatnot. And, and at the same time, it's if they didn't want

00:39:26.680 to see you grow, are they really a friend? You know what I mean? Right. So in the end

00:39:30.880 of the day, man, for me, it's like, what is the best decision for me? And you know, my

00:39:34.480 intent for it is always to improve the family situation. I never feel bad for that

00:39:39.280 decision. Right. I think that's key. Having the right motive. Cause it doesn't

00:39:43.240 make severing a tie any easier necessarily. It just, it makes it manageable, right?

00:39:48.960 You're like, you think to yourself, okay, well here's, here's a relationship, whether

00:39:52.540 it's a family member or a friend that I just, I can't have because I'm going in

00:39:55.980 this direction. I feel like if your motives are pure and you know why you're

00:39:59.900 doing it and you're doing it for the right reasons, then that becomes

00:40:02.740 significantly more, more manageable. And you don't need to do it like a dick. I'm not

00:40:06.860 saying you need to be an asshole, you know, maybe gradually evolve or grow out

00:40:10.280 of that relationship or it just dwindles over time. But yeah, I think we do need

00:40:14.620 to spend a lot of time being intentional to your point earlier about who's in our

00:40:18.500 life and who is, should not be potentially in our life.

00:40:22.000 And it comes down to like, it's the same thing I said before is like, just, you

00:40:26.280 know, I invested in myself and when investing in myself means I had to, I had to

00:40:30.280 shut everything else around me to, to, to invest in myself and so be it. Uh, in the

00:40:34.880 end, you know, I feel like if I make it, we all make it right. Or if you make it,

00:40:38.820 we all make it. You know what I mean? It's kind of like, I'll reach back and

00:40:41.320 want to. Right. Exactly. Right. Cause there's people who, who, and I think guys

00:40:46.220 do this a lot. Like we think that we need to save everybody. Yeah. And what we

00:40:51.720 fail to recognize is that guy might not want to be saved. Like, so focus on the

00:40:56.860 people who want to come on the path with you, who want to walk the same path with

00:41:00.920 you, who want to be around you, who want to lead their own tribes. The guy who doesn't

00:41:05.280 want to be saved. I mean, it sucks. Like you say, I don't see him flailing around in

00:41:10.140 the water and getting into things he shouldn't be getting into and running in circles. He

00:41:13.320 shouldn't be running in. You're like, that sucks. I can save that guy only if he wants

00:41:17.560 to be saved and only to the degree that he wants to be saved.

00:41:20.580 You know, I believe in the, in the end, you know, you can, you can guide him. I say this

00:41:25.180 all the time. Like I can, I can, I can lead a veteran to counseling, but will he take

00:41:28.860 it? Right. It's the same thing. You know, in the end, dude, everyone has to make their

00:41:32.780 own decisions. Everyone has to put their own pants on, you know, and I can, I can

00:41:35.800 offer the opportunity for people. And there's some people that will try and take it, but

00:41:39.380 you'll, you'll know right away if anyone really wants it or not. You know what I

00:41:42.460 mean? And I brought guys into my circle, like, Hey, I want to get into acting. Okay,

00:41:45.760 let's do it. And then a couple months later, like they complete back out. I'm like, you

00:41:49.680 weren't ready. And that's cool. It's cool. It's okay. Yeah. And that's okay. You

00:41:52.800 know, but like, if I'm going to use my efforts, you better be ready. Yeah.

00:41:58.980 How did you get into acting? Is that something you've always wanted to pursue? Or is that,

00:42:03.000 is that a development service or what? It's a small part of me that, that I've always

00:42:07.940 wanted. I did theater in college when I was playing baseball, um, easy grades, right?

00:42:12.780 I want, I needed to stay eligible. I wasn't good at school. So I did the, uh, the whole

00:42:16.880 theater thing for a couple of years and really liked it. Even in middle school, I was doing

00:42:20.540 I was stage crew. I was doing all the stage lighting and, and sound. So I've been around

00:42:25.860 it. And I think growing up in LA, you kind of tend to be around it in some aspect. Um,

00:42:30.180 didn't, didn't audition once. Uh, I'm dyslexic. So, and I really didn't have a grasp of reading,

00:42:35.780 uh, when I was 17, 18, 19 at all. Like it was really, really bad. And I, it was more

00:42:40.760 like, I was so embarrassed of it. I just did it less. And so since I did it less, I was

00:42:44.260 really bad. And then the anxiety came behind it. Cause all the people that used to make fun

00:42:48.360 of me as a kid and then now doing it in a room with people with a camera, man, I just

00:42:52.940 professionals. And yeah, she's. Yeah. And so I completely broke, broke down. I was like

00:42:57.980 genuinely anxiety and sweating and I was like, nevermind. And I walked out. Right. And, um,

00:43:03.800 that was such a terrifying moment for me that I never wanted to feel that again. So I ignored

00:43:08.600 it. You know, I ignored the whole thing about Hollywood and acting and theater. And I felt like

00:43:12.240 I was, I really felt I could do it, but that was just too much for me to try and grow in that,

00:43:17.400 in that moment. So, um, ignored it. Went, went on, played college baseball, went to the

00:43:22.080 military, got out, you know, got into the prison system. Then went into the border patrol, you

00:43:26.040 know, the whole gamut of just running my life and throwing everything like, forget, don't

00:43:29.120 worry about Hollywood. It's done, you know? And then, uh, by chance, my buddies threw me

00:43:33.280 on some YouTube videos with them. Right. And, um, I started to get article 15, right? So the

00:43:39.960 whole article 15 kind of kicked off and I started doing these YouTubes and I'm like, this is

00:43:45.860 actually pretty cool, you know? And I feel really, and, you know, I was getting compliments

00:43:49.380 like, man, you're real natural on film and it looks, it looks good. And I'm like, cool,

00:43:52.000 man. But I already had a background in understanding this. And so I felt completely comfortable.

00:43:57.020 So then we went and did range 15. And when we did range 15, you know, just the story of

00:44:01.760 that is really cool. A bunch of veterans crowdfunded a movie and, you know, we, we, we produce a

00:44:06.320 movie and a documentary and, um, just that experience alone, I was really inspiring me to,

00:44:11.700 why don't I step out this comfort zone and try again? You know what I mean? Like I've been

00:44:15.840 reading a lot better and now I feel a lot more confident with where I'm at and reading. And,

00:44:19.220 and, um, I told myself, I'm going to give it a real good shot. And I went and did, um, some improv

00:44:26.560 comedy with a buddy of mine named Jamie Taylor and we did, uh, dads in parks. Right. And so it's

00:44:31.360 this kind of improv comedy at a, at a, at a park. And while I was there filming my second iteration

00:44:36.580 of those, um, I was in LA and my buddy said, Hey, their minds are still doing auditions.

00:44:42.040 They're looking for a couple more guys. And I was like, well, fuck it, man. Let's do it. You

00:44:46.460 know? And so I put my name, I put my name in the hat for it, sent an email and, and pictures and

00:44:51.960 everything I've done, right. I kind of can put, I put dads in parks together with some article 15

00:44:56.020 videos with a short film that I made for veterans. And those, that's my acting reel. And then I had a

00:45:01.380 bunch of headshots and nothing formal, genuinely just pictures that people took of me that are high

00:45:06.080 quality. I just use those. I'm going to use that one. Yeah. Yeah. And so, I mean, there's one of

00:45:10.320 range 15 blood all over my face and I'm like, you know, I'm like, I don't know. It sounds good.

00:45:14.900 Well, it fits perfectly with, uh, yeah, go ahead. Keep going. Yeah. And so, um, you know,

00:45:19.700 they gave me the call that they would like to see me the next day, um, for an audition. Now this is my

00:45:24.220 first like real ever Hollywood audition, like straight up, you know, like I have a chance to get on a big

00:45:29.920 show. Right. So I'm, I'm nervous. I recorded all my lines. I played them throughout the night in my,

00:45:34.540 in my, in my iPhone and making sure I can memorize everything. And I showed up and I did it right.

00:45:40.560 And I did my audition. I felt really confident. And, um, what's that audition like? I just,

00:45:44.880 just out of curiosity. So you show up and I thought, I wasn't sure how it was going to work

00:45:50.020 out either, but the casting director did, she meets you, she shakes your hand, says great to meet

00:45:54.700 you. I love all the stuff you sent us. It was exciting. I'm really looking forward to seeing you

00:45:58.660 read. And, and really they want to see, can he fricking act? Right. Right. Like that's all they

00:46:03.100 wanted. And so they gave me a character that was kind of a reluctant, I would almost describe it as

00:46:09.020 a private in the military, just wanting to do right, you know? And so, you know, I did the character

00:46:15.060 and there's a camera in the room. There's a, the casting, um, director with the casting director

00:46:20.840 assistant, casting director assistant runs the camera. The casting director is starting to read lines

00:46:25.800 and they read lines for you. So we're going back and forth in the conversation and it's just a

00:46:30.100 white room, man. It's you in the room and the camera, you know, script in front of you or does

00:46:34.780 this all have to be memorized? Okay. You can, but it looks better to go. They call it off script

00:46:40.120 memorized. So I memorized it, man. Cause I'm like, let's go. It's going to do it. Do it right,

00:46:45.420 man. Right. For sure. And so I shaved my head. I wore a tank top to look like a complete gangster,

00:46:51.700 dude. You know, I got some baggy pants on, some Chuck Taylors. I look like a dude from the Mayans

00:46:57.320 already. So I knew I had the look right now. I'm like, now I got to impress him with my acting,

00:47:02.980 you know? And so she starts reading her lines and I'm impressed by the way she's reading her

00:47:07.820 lines. Cause I'm like, damn, she's good. And I'm like, you know? So then I read my lines and,

00:47:14.400 you know, it gets to a point where I kind of black out and just go with the flow and I'm hitting my line.

00:47:19.740 She's hitting hers and we're in conversation. And at that point, I genuinely was just like,

00:47:23.440 not even thinking, just reacting. Boom, boom, boom, boom. And it's done. She gives me this big

00:47:27.980 smile. Like that was awesome. And she gives me a hug. And I was like, I don't know, maybe she says

00:47:32.720 that to everyone, whatever. Right. Say that to all the guys. Yeah. Yeah. So me and my wife walk out of

00:47:38.620 there and we were like, well now what? You know? And so we, we just kind of, our vacation was done. So we

00:47:44.060 actually headed to the airport and flew home, which at the time we were living in El Paso, we get an email.

00:47:48.820 By the time we land that the next day, Kurt wants to see me for a second table, for a second read.

00:47:54.220 I'm like, Oh shit. Kurt Sutter, man. Like the dude, like the man. Is he the producer? I don't know

00:47:59.180 who this is. So is he the producer of the show? He is the writer and producer of Sons of Anarchy,

00:48:05.320 every single episode of that. Okay. All right. Yep. You know, he's the creator of this show.

00:48:10.180 So, and so, you know, I don't get starstruck. It wasn't that it was more of the fact that I knew

00:48:15.760 how much power he had and I, I knew I needed to impress him. So I turned around, bought a ticket

00:48:21.340 back to LA. My dad drove me and now they gave me two characters to read. So I'm reading for the same

00:48:27.040 guy and a different guy. And I read for both characters and you know, a moment happened again

00:48:34.720 where I kind of blacked out and just boom, existed in the room. And I knew that was, that was the one

00:48:40.780 I knew it felt like that was so fluent and smooth to the point where it turned into like the joke

00:48:46.760 really hit and everyone laughed in the room and they were like, great job. And I was like, thanks.

00:48:52.660 I shook his hand just kind of like acting like I've been there before, bro. Like, like nice to meet you.

00:48:58.240 Yeah. Yeah. Have a good day. I'm out. You know what I mean? And I walked out of there and my dad's

00:49:03.620 just pumped up about just the whole experience alone. And we're just talking about it to the

00:49:06.960 car. And supposedly he actually watched me and my dad's interaction and thought it was a beautiful

00:49:12.080 thing to see, you know, the, the genuineness between me and my dad and relationship we had.

00:49:16.420 And, um, I believe that's really what, what gave me the opportunity.

00:49:19.880 That's amazing. Yeah. I, I, I've always been curious with that, with that process itself, like,

00:49:26.260 cause I've never been in acting. So I'm always curious, like, is that, is it natural? Is it weird?

00:49:31.180 Like, do you know you're doing it? Like, how much do you, do you believe that you're the

00:49:35.800 character in the moment? Like, these are all questions I've always been curious about.

00:49:40.180 Well, you know, you have to write. So I've done a ton of auditions since, and none of them

00:49:44.360 have felt as smooth as that. Like none of them have felt as genuine, you know? Um, it's tough,

00:49:53.140 man. Like you get the script, you get it like three days before you read it, you try and believe

00:49:57.060 it, you know? And, um, you present the best version of what you read to them and hoping

00:50:03.160 that's what they wanted to see. Right. And they say, they say genuinely, they say when

00:50:07.580 you walk in, they already know if they want you or not because of how you look. It's just

00:50:10.880 so much about the presence of your character that they're looking for. Um, for me, I think

00:50:16.860 I have a little bit of trouble because I don't have a, you know, a Chicano accent. Right.

00:50:22.020 Um, it's just really, I, I just had this just very, very normal, I think speech. Um, and

00:50:29.660 I think a lot of guys see my picture and want me to audition. And when I show up there and

00:50:33.360 not having this Chicano accent, this slang kind of talk, I think it hurts a lot of my

00:50:37.820 chances of being this big Mexican, you know, bad guy, but it works for the Mayans. I think

00:50:43.520 we had enough of that in the Mayans and my character was so different from everyone else

00:50:47.120 that it made sense, you know? Yeah. So that's cool. Yeah. It's tough, dude. It's, it's

00:50:52.820 uncomfortable. It really is. You know? Well, I think that's to just to go with everything

00:50:57.100 else you've said, I think that level of discomfort is, is a good thing, whether it's acting or

00:51:02.680 some physical, you know, requirement that you need to meet or objective you're trying to

00:51:07.280 accomplish. Like anytime you can make yourself uncomfortable, you're naturally going to get

00:51:10.480 better. Yeah, no, for sure. What are your, uh, what are your plans? I mean, as far as

00:51:16.200 the acting career goes, is that something that you're going to pursue even deeper? I mean,

00:51:19.560 I see you going in so many different directions. I'm curious if you feel like there's one path

00:51:23.920 that you're like, I really want to explore this one. You know, um, uh, you know, the acting,

00:51:31.140 I'm going to let it, I'm going to let it exist as long as it exists. Right. Like, um, I haven't

00:51:36.440 nurtured it too much because if I do, I, that means California becomes home and I'm not home

00:51:42.760 with my family. So then we'll have to, we'll have to make that decision one day if it really takes

00:51:47.400 off. The real goal for me would be in the writing space and creating shows, you know, being able to

00:51:53.300 tell the story, you know, um, I would love to produce more. I would love to, to create TV shows

00:51:59.600 that, that have, you know, my voice to them, you know, and you know, those, those stories,

00:52:05.100 hopefully they're inspiring and touching and, and, and, and really, that's really the goal I want to do

00:52:10.040 as well as, you know, there's a lot of military stories out there that I think still need to be

00:52:13.580 told that are not being told from our perspective, right. The actual veterans, the actual, you know,

00:52:21.140 the, you know, and, and I think, um, having my foot in the door in Hollywood, I think I owe it

00:52:25.780 to our own community to try and help with that, right. To try and help tell those stories in, in,

00:52:31.420 in a, in a better light. You know, there's a lot of guys creating stories for veterans and they

00:52:35.780 believe they're doing a good thing, but in the end you have another broken veteran who loses

00:52:39.240 everything for capitalism. And it's something that I don't necessarily agree with. I think that's

00:52:45.440 the stereotype that, that is given to the, to society. And I don't necessarily believe it.

00:52:50.920 You know, I think we need to start highlighting the, the successful, the badasses out there that

00:52:55.460 are doing really good things life after a service. And so, you know, right now that's kind of the goal

00:53:01.520 is to be able to get my foot in the door and to help produce some really good content, really good

00:53:05.920 film and television in, in the higher echelon. Right. I want to get up there with the big dogs

00:53:10.440 and compete. I want to compete with those dudes and the writing and, and producing. And in, and if I

00:53:16.200 can take my acting with me, that's what I would love to do. Do you have any sort of creative leniency

00:53:20.840 when it comes to your character on, on, uh, um, I'm drawing a blank right now on my ins. Thank you.

00:53:28.220 Sorry. Yeah. Yeah. You're good. Uh, you're three seasons into it. So how much, yeah, not much on

00:53:32.860 that. Yeah, not much. You know, they made my character military, which, which was nice. And

00:53:38.160 they allowed me to wear a KIA bracelet, you know? And so I, my character does wear one and, uh, you

00:53:44.920 know, I think to keep the character as genuine as possible, they try and keep it very similar to my

00:53:51.140 actual storyline in life. Um, and I think they've done that with a lot of our characters, but you know,

00:53:57.740 I have really no say, I can't go in there and be like, Hey, check it out. I want to have a mustache

00:54:01.540 now. Yeah. Yeah. You know, you know, people forget we are just actors. And I say that because

00:54:08.220 I believe the writing is really the powerful sentiment in every story. Right. And so us as

00:54:14.520 the actors are just there to convey that message. And, and so who are we to say this is wrong? Like,

00:54:20.980 no, man, I'm an actor, whatever you put on that paper, I'm going to give it to you the best I can.

00:54:24.960 Story, right? Right. Correct. We're, we're, we're just, we're advocates for the, the writers

00:54:30.400 and to let them tell the most beautiful story they can come up with. And that's why they're

00:54:34.420 in that position. They are. And that's who we are. We're here to just be the muse for them.

00:54:38.440 And, and with all respect to try and give those words more life. And, and I love that challenge of

00:54:44.180 it. And I also love that, um, position, right? It's, it's, I'm not the leader in the room. I'm the guy

00:54:49.320 that sits back and takes the orders and essentially is what I'm just another soldier to help complete

00:54:53.900 this mission. And I love that. I really do love that aspect of it. That's an interesting

00:54:58.020 perspective because it's one you don't hear a lot about because everybody, especially on podcasting

00:55:01.840 and the podcast circles and self-help and all that, everybody's like, you got to be the leader.

00:55:05.260 You got to be the one giving orders. You got to be in charge. So it's really interesting to hear you

00:55:09.200 say somebody who probably prides himself on being able to lead effectively and influence people to do

00:55:14.280 things to say, you know what? I actually, I can be a soldier. Like I can take the orders.

00:55:19.060 I can play to the best of my ability and I, and I can appreciate that too.

00:55:23.760 Yeah. You know, I think in good leadership, you also have to know when to lead, when to follow,

00:55:27.980 you know what I mean? When to lead and when to follow. And that's it. Like, look, man,

00:55:31.280 I'm new at this. Like, let me, let me, let me follow for a minute until I understand how to lead

00:55:36.220 in this world. You want to go to combat? I gotcha. You want to do acting? You want to do, you know,

00:55:41.540 you know, like, let me sit back and learn. Who am I? Like in the military, we go from rank,

00:55:46.000 right. We grow until I'm ready to get to that position of leadership. Why would I ever step

00:55:50.960 in there and try and think I can do that? You know, I think I respect the art of acting and

00:55:55.300 entertainment. And if I respect it, you know, I, I think, Oh, it's due diligence and learning it.

00:56:00.460 And, and that's where I'm at. I'm in the learning phases of, of allowing myself to understand acting

00:56:05.560 so profound that I feel like I can step outside of that and now direct. And I've tried to direct,

00:56:10.000 it's not easy, you know, and, and, you know, it's, I just want to do right by, um, my career

00:56:16.940 and doing it, you know, and, and being good at all around, you know? Well, I think if you want

00:56:21.900 to get into directing and, and, and writing and producing in these other aspects, I think it'll

00:56:26.800 serve you well to know the full gambit, at least to some degree, right? Like come from different

00:56:32.780 backgrounds. So, you know, okay, well, here's how, here's how an actor would, would feel about this.

00:56:38.400 And how can I write this in a way or, or produce or direct this in a way that facilitates the best

00:56:43.640 from the actor I'm going to be working with? Cause you know, that side of things.

00:56:46.760 Yeah. Yeah, no, exactly. I think that's important, you know, understanding this position now,

00:56:51.280 and then eventually I'll start understanding the others.

00:56:53.140 Yeah. When it comes to, uh, with the veteran community and starting to tell those stories a

00:56:58.060 little bit different than they have in the past, is that something that you feel like this is a

00:57:02.940 project that you will head up? Is it better to work with existing organizations?

00:57:08.080 And help them maybe do a better job of, of painting these stories? Like, how do you see

00:57:12.220 that working out? You know, currently right now I'm producing a documentary called The Gift.

00:57:17.540 And, uh, that is almost everyone is a veteran and it's kind of cool. And I think, um, when you're

00:57:24.000 going to tell these heartfelt, real stories, I think it has to come from a place of, of experience

00:57:30.700 and, and, and it has to resonate. I think, you know what I mean? And, and a lot of people who

00:57:35.880 haven't experienced the military and won't have as much of a connection right now in developing it,

00:57:41.180 I think we can make a, a better film by being fully involved in, in having us guys. And I mean,

00:57:46.900 you got Clinton Romage is going to work on set with us and help us tell the story of Jason Dunham,

00:57:51.840 right? Which is a beautiful story of, of, um, a Medal of Honor recipient, you know, who, who passed,

00:57:57.220 uh, in his efforts of being just, just doing his job and just beautiful story.

00:58:02.820 And, uh, the goal for this is to really hopefully catapult me and my buddies into doing more stories

00:58:09.740 for the veteran community to hopefully make this in a way where people can appreciate not just

00:58:15.200 the sad parts, but also the, the people that exist after, right? The life after trauma and, and

00:58:22.520 allowing us to tell those stories. And it might be hard for some people to hear the truth of,

00:58:26.920 of the struggle that guys go through after seeing one of their friends, you know, get killed in

00:58:30.840 combat. But I think that's also the beautiful side of the story that there is success after there is

00:58:35.940 appreciation. You know, I think gratitude is what most of these guys just spew out of them for the

00:58:41.360 fact that they still have the opportunity of life. Um, and so I would love to be able to tell the story

00:58:47.020 and hopefully kind of put my foot in the door where I'm doing this for a long, long time,

00:58:52.560 you know what I mean? And, and, and starting to find what other military story want to tell next,

00:58:56.520 that one, I think that one deserves it. And then that one, and you know, when it comes to

00:59:00.780 really doing it, it becomes funding is the biggest hurdle that you have. Once, once a network

00:59:07.860 believes in me, we'll have the funding, you know what I mean? And then it's up to me to show them I

00:59:13.500 can do it, you know? And so that's what we're working on.

00:59:15.320 Got a lot of irons in the fire, man. What else? What, what other avenues are you like? Okay,

00:59:19.740 here's something I've never done before, but this is like kind of intriguing to me.

00:59:25.180 You know, um, I have already, I'm planning a one man show. Uh, and that's just me on stage

00:59:32.640 doing my thing, right? I have, you know, that one's going to be focusing a lot on, um, my life.

00:59:39.880 And I'm just like, John Leguizamo is really what inspired me to do that. And I think it's in,

00:59:44.660 in the growth of an actor and creator and writer. I think this is what my next step should be to

00:59:49.340 create this one man and just challenge it, right? Just see what I can do with it. And hopefully,

00:59:53.220 hopefully I can, people can walk out inspired, right? Um, music, you know, I'm really working

00:59:58.100 on music this year. I'll come out with some music. Um, and that is, again, is the same aspect of just

01:00:03.840 hopefully people just enjoy it writing. I have several more books, several small books I'm trying

01:00:09.560 to do that there, these aren't like, these are all self-published. I don't care if I sell one or a

01:00:14.040 a hundred. It's just, I need to get it off my chest and out there to the world and let it exist.

01:00:19.400 You know, I, I am no longer in the space where I'm chasing, uh, New York times bestsellers,

01:00:25.000 or I'm chasing, uh, more followers or I'm chasing anything. I don't, I don't do any of it anymore

01:00:30.600 for money. I do it because I enjoy it. And Hey, there's obviously a price tag on it because,

01:00:35.920 because, you know, you're going to pay for, for, for, I want to give you my knowledge.

01:00:40.020 And I expect that someone would want to purchase it, you know, but I'm not, I'm not chasing anything

01:00:46.900 anymore. I'm not writing books to be this, this multi-level sold. If it happens, cool. If it

01:00:53.120 doesn't, I don't care. You know, when I wrote light the fuse, it's a transition book. Um, it's

01:00:57.720 really about my life and transitioning. Um, it was meant just to be for anyone transitioning can read

01:01:04.200 it and be like, dang, this dude is so like, it's so similar to their stories. Right. Cause we all go

01:01:08.560 through the same stuff, but I didn't write, I didn't write it to be like this, you know,

01:01:12.780 and it's not this book that I may be sold under 10,000 copies, whatever the case, but I get

01:01:18.000 messages about that book so often. It's like, that's all it was for, man. You know what I mean?

01:01:23.340 It's, it wasn't for any other reason. I didn't write it for, for the notoriety behind it. I wrote

01:01:27.640 it to be just another book for someone to hopefully, you know, get inspired and entertained and motivated

01:01:33.100 by, you know, and that's what I want to continue to do. I don't want to chase numbers. I just want to,

01:01:37.200 I just want to put out this content that I think deserves to be like going to the world

01:01:40.620 and just let it exist, man. Yeah. Isn't that, I mean, it's such a powerful perspective to come

01:01:45.260 from. Cause I, I've been there where, you know, you get wrapped up and how many followers and how

01:01:49.800 many downloads and how many of this and how many books sold. And you know, you, you got to keep

01:01:53.880 track of some of those metrics, but you know, what changes that perspective is when you have

01:01:58.540 a guy reach out to you, not just a guy, like a man, like a human being reach out to you and say,

01:02:04.040 you know, I was, I was throwing my life down the toilet. You know, I was drunk. My wife left me.

01:02:10.080 I was miserable. I was going nowhere. And I stumbled across this one podcast. You did this one time and

01:02:17.240 you or your guests said this one thing and it completely transformed my life. And, uh, I haven't

01:02:24.960 drank for six months and I've, I've, I've got a steady job or a promotion or I'm losing weight.

01:02:31.180 And you hear this human being tell you that and you're like, Oh yeah, this is why I do it. Not

01:02:36.720 for the 10,000 new followers I want this week or whatever, you know? Yeah, no, exactly. You know,

01:02:43.080 like, you know, in the end it wouldn't be nice to have a bigger microphone to help inspire and

01:02:48.700 motivate more people. Right. Like I would love to be the, I would love to have more opportunity to

01:02:53.540 influence more in the right way. Um, but if I start to chase that, my, my message becomes diluted.

01:02:59.840 Right. And I don't want, I don't want that. You know, it's, it is what it is. Whoever listens

01:03:04.040 is there. And if I, if I start to try and chase, you're starting to get a side of me. That's not

01:03:09.420 genuine. And that's what I just, that's every day. I tell myself like, dude, just keep being you.

01:03:15.520 And you know, people like it. Cool. If they don't, it is what it is. You're putting out shit that you

01:03:19.660 want to put in the end. If all it is, is a, you know, is it a social media platform that my kids can

01:03:25.840 go back and watch and learn from, if that my kids can go back and read my books and learn from that,

01:03:29.560 my kids can go back and show their grandkids and learn or their kids and learn from, then I've just

01:03:34.080 put a lot of stuff out there for my own family to learn from. Cool. You know what I mean? Because

01:03:39.120 I didn't have enough time in the day to tell them everything. Well, they can go back and get it all

01:03:42.280 for me now. Yeah. You know, and if that's all it ever is, it's fucking worth it, dude. And so I'm

01:03:47.560 going to continue to live my life in that aspect. And anyone else that stumbles upon me and read

01:03:52.600 something and gets inspired. Fuck yes. Cool. Right on. Well, let me, uh, let me ask you a

01:03:57.940 couple of additional questions as we wind things up here. The first one, what does it mean to be a

01:04:01.780 man? Boom. It's tough, man. Um, you know, I think a man, I think there's, there's leadership is the

01:04:15.000 first thing that comes to mind. You know, if you're a man, you're, you're, you're a leader, you know,

01:04:18.860 and I think us men are raising tomorrow's leaders, you know, and, and knowing that and accepting that

01:04:24.980 position, that's what we are, right? It's between, it's us and a woman who, who create a kid, but

01:04:30.780 someone is a leader and both can be leaders. But I think as a man, there's some specifics that we

01:04:35.640 need to be in, in front of, right? Like as a man, I teach my kids to fight, to protect themselves,

01:04:44.080 to protect the weak. As a man, I, I teach my kids to, I teach my boys to protect women, to respect

01:04:52.420 women, right? As a man, I teach my daughters how to change the oil in their car and understand and

01:04:59.020 teach independency, right? In the end, I'm, I'm definitely trying to be, um, the influence that is

01:05:06.720 masculine in their lives that is needed in, in both sides, right? I'm the example for my daughters,

01:05:13.040 for the men that they want to marry in the future. I'm the example for my sons as the man they want

01:05:18.560 to be for their spouses and for their kids. And so as a man, I just have to always try and remember

01:05:24.460 that. And, and I am a big part of what my kids will be in the future. And so for me, a man is just

01:05:31.900 being, being able to be that leader in the household. Right on, man. That's a powerful perspective.

01:05:36.380 And it's something that you seem to be living. So I admire and respect you for doing that,

01:05:40.780 man. I, uh, I appreciate that. How did the guys, uh, connect? Where do you want to send them to

01:05:44.920 be able to sync up with you? Too easy. If you guys are looking for my books, it's vinnyrock.com,

01:05:50.240 V I N N Y, um, R O C.com. If you guys want to just check out all my Instagram, you know,

01:05:56.380 social media, everything's going to be other Vincent Rocco Vargas. Um, you can find me Twitter.

01:06:01.700 I think it's the real Rocco, but, um, yeah, man. And anyone was listening, dude, you guys want

01:06:06.560 to reach out? I swear to you, I'll answer within a day. I'll answer. I answer every single message

01:06:11.340 and I'm, uh, and, and I'm not afraid of giving a call. There's veterans that call me like, bro,

01:06:16.200 I need, I need someone to wake me up. So give me your number. And I lay into them, bro.

01:06:18.960 Is that right? Because, you know, Oh yeah. Because if that's what they want, man, I'll give them tough

01:06:22.640 love, dude. You know, if you can take it, I'll give it to you. I'll give you the honest perspective

01:06:25.600 of life. It's cool. You know, I'm there to be dead for anyone, bro. I'm there to be the leader for

01:06:29.760 anyone. It's just, if that's what they want from me, then, then I'll be that for them. You know what I mean?

01:06:33.480 All right. That's powerful. I love it. Yeah. Thank you, brother. You guys hit me up anytime

01:06:37.900 you need. Thank you so much for having me on, bro. I respect you. And it's so cool to finally

01:06:41.040 be able to connect with you on your podcast. And hopefully we live in the same state, right?

01:06:45.580 And you're still in Utah, correct? No, I moved. I moved like, uh, seven months ago. I'm in Maine.

01:06:50.200 I'm on the other side of the country. Oh my goodness. So that's why it's even been harder.

01:06:54.300 Yeah. Either way, we'll connect sometime, some way, somehow. All right. We'll make it happen.

01:06:58.240 I appreciate you, man. Thanks for, uh, thanks for sharing. This has been a very powerful

01:07:02.740 conversation. It's been a long time in the works. I know guys that are listening to this

01:07:06.400 are getting a ton of value from it. And I just, I appreciate your realness and who you are and your,

01:07:11.320 your ability, even in your position where you have so much going on that you're able to reach

01:07:15.280 out and connect with people as on a, on a real human level is powerful. So thanks for sharing that

01:07:20.060 with us, man. For sure, brother. You have a good day, man. You too. All right, gents. There you go.

01:07:25.940 The conversation with the one and only Vincent Rocco Vargas. I hope you enjoyed that one. Very down to earth,

01:07:30.640 very humble guy. That's probably part of the reason that I get along with him so well. And

01:07:34.420 I've enjoyed our friendship. Uh, and I think you can see why that's the case and how powerful he is

01:07:39.880 and all that he's doing. Very grounded man, which I like a lot of the guys that I talk with on a daily

01:07:44.360 basis. Uh, not that they're not grounded, but, uh, just different, you know, it's just, it's different

01:07:49.760 when you have somebody who knows what they want and it's different than maybe pursuing and chasing,

01:07:54.520 uh, what everybody else tells us that we should. So I really enjoyed this conversation. I hope you did as

01:07:59.700 well. Make sure you connect with Vince on, uh, the socials, Instagram, Facebook, YouTube, Twitter,

01:08:05.220 wherever you're doing the thing, me as well. Uh, let both of us know what you thought about the show,

01:08:09.280 uh, because it means a lot to us when, when we know what you're getting from it. And then it helps us

01:08:14.000 figure out ways to make a show that is going to be impactful for you. So we take that feedback

01:08:18.800 into consideration as we're continuing to invite guests on and, uh, really make sure we're on the right

01:08:25.240 path with, uh, with what we're doing here. All right. On a parting note, I would like to say and

01:08:30.100 ask that you please leave us a rating review. Uh, it seems like kind of a silly thing. Sometimes

01:08:34.560 people overlook it cause they don't think it has, uh, has any impact, but I'm telling you,

01:08:38.000 if you were to look at the top 10 podcasts, uh, that are, that are out there and available,

01:08:42.100 these guys have thousands and thousands and thousands of, uh, of reviews. And that goes a long

01:08:48.080 way in promoting the visibility in bumping us up the charts. So more men and women, frankly,

01:08:52.740 can see what it is we're doing and band with us in the fight to reclaim and restore masculinity.

01:08:57.760 Uh, I want to say we have about, uh, 3000 reviews roughly somewhere in there. Uh, and I,

01:09:03.020 and I don't think it's too far of a stretch to bump that up to 4,000 to get 4,000, uh, total

01:09:08.280 reviews. So another thousand reviews, that's what we're working on right now. So if you would,

01:09:11.520 if you haven't done this already, please leave us an iTunes rating and review and, uh, let us know

01:09:16.180 what you think about the show. All right, guys, honored to stand in this battle with you.

01:09:19.200 Uh, we definitely need more men in this fight and I'm glad that you're in it, that we are on the

01:09:24.600 same path. We'll be back tomorrow for the, ask me anything, but until then go out there, take

01:09:29.440 action and become a man. You are meant to be. Thank you for listening to the order of man podcast.

01:09:34.720 You're ready to take charge of your life and be more of the man you were meant to be.

01:09:38.520 We invite you to join the order at order of man.com.

Order of Man - March 03, 2020

Living Life by Your Own Rules ｜ VINCENT "ROCCO" VARGAS

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