Order of Man - Maintaining Focus Amidst Distractions, Handling Haters, and Being Authentic vs. Oversharing

00:00:00.000 You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest. Embrace your fears and boldly chart

00:00:05.000 your own path. When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time. Every time.

00:00:10.440 You are not easily deterred or defeated. Rugged. Resilient. Strong. This is your life. This is who

00:00:17.180 you are. This is who you will become. At the end of the day, and after all is said and done,

00:00:22.740 you can call yourself a man. Sean, dude, we were just chatting. We don't get to do these

00:00:29.640 very often. I think Mr. Mickler's making sure that we don't take over the podcast. So how

00:00:34.740 are you doing? I'm doing well. How are you? Good. Yeah, not bad. You guys have a good Easter.

00:00:40.320 Absolutely. It's our favorite. It's my wife and my youngest son's favorite holiday.

00:00:47.300 Even over Christmas. Yeah, I'm just surprised too. He just loves it. He loves hunting for eggs.

00:00:53.680 I'd like to say he loves Jesus and the resurrection, but it's not the eggs who precede it as of now at six

00:01:02.500 years old. Yeah, it's for us. It's like Easter was fun. Okay, wait, before we go to bed, let's

00:01:08.920 really talk about what today was supposed to be about. Yeah, maybe we need to step up our parenting

00:01:16.360 game. So what do you what what tradition what do you guys do for Easter? Oh, man, we we always have

00:01:22.940 like a special breakfast. We actually it starts Friday. We do like a good Friday last supper slash

00:01:31.340 Passover meal. That's cool. Yeah, and we do like we get like a whole fish a couple whole fish and

00:01:37.920 all the types of food that they would have eaten back in Jesus's day. Really? That's cool. It's really

00:01:43.940 cool. Yeah, we do like, you know, all it's really simple basic, but it's always really good and the

00:01:49.500 kids love it. And then our we make a whole we always have stuff like eggs hidden for when they

00:01:57.000 wake up all out in the yard, front yard, backyard, all around the house, all over the place, hidden

00:02:02.380 Easter baskets. So they have to find those in the morning, then go find their eggs, you know, and then

00:02:07.760 we do a big Easter dinner. Okay, that's cool. Fun. How about yeah, Asia's major Asia has continued

00:02:16.120 this but her mom like started these and it's by the way, I was raised. I was raised in a family where

00:02:23.340 like, I don't know if we celebrate my birthday all the time. You know what I mean? And and and my wife's

00:02:30.580 family is like the complete opposite like Tommy Turkey comes during Thanksgiving. I mean, it's like

00:02:37.620 we've been married for a long time and I still miss holidays. I'm like, oh crap. Like I forgot I was

00:02:44.120 supposed to get something. You know what I mean? So but but dude, our Easter is super fun. We do what

00:02:49.380 do we do? So Saturday, Saturday night, we'll have family over. Everyone will come prepared and we'll

00:02:58.360 let the kids like paint Easter eggs. And then once it's dark, there's two things that we do. So the first

00:03:04.420 thing that we do is Asia's mother will create like bags hidden across the yard in the backyard and

00:03:14.000 front yard and all kinds of weird locations with a number on it. And then each family, we're like as a

00:03:21.740 team and we're on our deck and you have to hit, you have to find bag one, grab an item out of bag one,

00:03:29.480 bring it back. And then you can go find bag two, grab an item out of bag two and et cetera, right?

00:03:34.240 Until you do 10 bags. But the funny part is like the bag might have anything from corn, canned corn

00:03:42.140 beef to brownies. Right. And so you kind of want to find the bag quick. So you get the good groceries

00:03:48.900 and not like the crap stuff. Right. And so so we do that as a family. And then after that,

00:03:55.440 everyone contributes like all the adults, you know, we contribute cash and we'll put them all

00:04:01.520 in these plastic eggs and hide them throughout the entire yard when it's dark. And then everyone

00:04:07.300 has flashlights and it's kind of the same rule. You have a basket, but you can't take your basket

00:04:12.020 with you. So you have to find an egg, run back to the porch, put it in your basket, find another egg.

00:04:17.060 So it's just, yeah, people drove by. They'd be like, what the crap is happening? Like there's just

00:04:22.900 bodies all over the place. People are tripping over each other. It's super fun. So we do that

00:04:28.660 Saturday, Saturday night. And then, and then Sunday morning is just our family, you know,

00:04:33.740 Easter egg hunt baskets in the house or hidden around the house. So it's, it's fun. It's a,

00:04:39.700 it's a good time. So I usually hustle and bust ass mostly because I'm trying to get my money back.

00:04:46.580 Right. So I put all this money in these eggs and I'm like, I want my money back. Like I threw down a

00:04:52.500 couple hundred, you know what I mean? Like I got to get my, I got to get my cash back. So,

00:04:57.320 but it's fun. It's fun. So that's funny. So you guys are running out there with them too, huh?

00:05:03.480 Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Oh, we're way too competitive to just let the kids do it.

00:05:09.180 I'm just like, I literally try to beat everybody. So I have no mercy. Yeah. You know,

00:05:16.420 tripping people are like flashlight in their eye, trying to blind them. You know, it's,

00:05:20.360 it gets a little brutal. So that's right. You got to teach them young, no mercy.

00:05:25.640 Yeah. Yeah. The opposite of what Christ taught. That's yeah. That's usually what we do. The

00:05:30.160 opposite of what Christ would teach is, is our focus on Easter. Not a good sign. Anyhow,

00:05:37.440 good times, man. You know, it's on this, in this spirit of Easter though, what a powerful message,

00:05:44.300 you know, and I was, I was talking, we were talking to our kids last night, but that regardless of,

00:05:49.580 of, you know, guys that are listening, your religious beliefs, the idea of Easter and the

00:05:55.140 reason why, because here's the thing I thought about it. How many people are making like Easter

00:06:00.800 posts on Instagram? You know, it must be Frank. If they're non-Christian guys, they might be annoyed,

00:06:06.420 right? They're like, well, I don't know, whatever. Do some critical thinking and realize why is that such

00:06:12.380 a big deal. And it's such a big deal is because it was such a profound message. This idea and this

00:06:19.300 concept through his example, that we'll all be resurrected, that there's actually life after

00:06:25.680 death. That is pretty amazing message. Now, whether you believe it or not, that's a whole other story,

00:06:31.660 but what an amazing thing to consider that there's more to life than just living it and then dying it,

00:06:41.080 dying. You know what I mean? And, um, you know, and that's why Easter is such a big deal because

00:06:46.360 it was such a profound message. So it is. And everybody feels that, you know, I was listening

00:06:51.100 to the saying is it was, uh, actually it was Joe Rogan and Mike Tyson. And, uh, you know, I was

00:06:56.900 listening to them talk about their experiences with psychedelics, right? Which you wouldn't think

00:07:01.740 has anything to do with this, but the biggest thing that stood out to them and talking about that

00:07:05.840 was how they knew in doing that, that there was life after death, that there was like,

00:07:11.160 they came to that conclusion, getting high continued beyond this world. Right. It was,

00:07:16.820 it was pretty interesting listening to that. I'm like, wow, you know, either there's something that

00:07:21.020 we all inherently somehow know and understand, um, you know, and there's messages about it in

00:07:29.500 different ways. Yeah. Or, or, or at least thrive to want to believe that. Right. Because it's such a

00:07:34.960 great message. Yeah. So happy Easter to all you guys. All right. Should we get some questions?

00:07:40.340 I'm limited on time. So I guess I shouldn't have bantered as much as I did. Um, so we're going

00:07:46.100 to field questions from the iron council, uh, to learn more about our exclusive brotherhood,

00:07:51.480 the iron council, you can go to order of man.com slash iron council. And when you go there, you will

00:07:57.260 not be able to sign up. Um, we actually have openings where we open it up right before a new quarter.

00:08:03.480 It is currently closed. Um, so you're going to have to wait until next quarter. If you're interested,

00:08:09.160 however, stay connected to us. So then that way you can know when that opens up, there's many ways

00:08:14.540 to do that, whether it's connecting with Ryan on Instagram and Twitter at Ryan Mickler, or going to

00:08:20.020 order man.com slash iron council and signing up for the newsletter and et cetera. So make sure to stay

00:08:25.240 connected to us. So, you know, the, the latest and the greatest, uh, around the iron council. All right.

00:08:30.440 Our first question, Brock Epler. I am very social person and sometimes it gets the better of me.

00:08:37.340 I find that when I'm around people, I like the conversation. Uh, I love the conversation is

00:08:43.160 flowing. Well, I want to stay and keep engaging. Meanwhile, my to-dos are getting put off. I'm

00:08:49.100 thinking of setting up a timer on my watch to prevent me from staying too long, but I was curious

00:08:54.940 to know there are other strategies, strategies you use or have. Thank you. This is a really good

00:09:01.740 question. My wife's this way drastically, and I I'm always pissed off. So, uh, maybe I'll have her

00:09:10.160 listen to the podcast, but first I have to tell her that there is even a podcast, but, um, I'll tell

00:09:15.180 her anyhow, go ahead. What do you think? This is a hard one for me because I'm not a social person.

00:09:19.500 I'm kind of a expert introvert where you get me in the right seat. You get me on a stage

00:09:26.240 in front of 30,000 people and I have no problem and I can talk forever, whatever, uh, stuff like

00:09:33.180 this, same thing. You get me in a social setting and I tend to avoid talking to people, but once

00:09:41.980 I start, I, I go, but I'm not a, you know, I just don't tend to get into super long conversation

00:09:47.300 with a lot of people. Um, you know, and so for me, I'm always, I'm like you, I'm kind of like,

00:09:53.320 okay, let's get to the point. Let's, you know, let's cut it short. Let's figure out, um,

00:10:00.580 what we're, what our outcome is, I guess you could say, and get to that. So I think, um,

00:10:09.220 if you want a strategy, the only thing I could think of is going into the conversations,

00:10:15.280 enter with an outcome so that you're not wasting time. So if time's your issue and you find yourself

00:10:22.720 losing a half hour, an hour in your day or whatever it is, because you're just schmoozing.

00:10:29.440 Yeah. And I would say, figure out your outcomes for each day. That's where the battle planner would

00:10:34.680 be effective. I think is in knowing what you need to achieve that day, having it in front of you.

00:10:40.060 And then if you know, you're going to go into one of those conversations that you think can trap you

00:10:44.200 and go in with that outcome of, Hey, I have to get these other things done. And maybe even preface

00:10:51.140 the conversation with, Hey, I have to get this done, but I wanted to know from you this, this,

00:10:57.280 and this, and you totally get to it. So yeah, that's the only thing I could maybe think of.

00:11:02.140 A couple of thoughts. And I know a couple of people like this, my life, not just my wife,

00:11:07.200 but I have some friends that, you know, once, once you're hanging out, you, you just go,

00:11:13.800 you keep going. Right. And, and I think Brock get present to the impact of you staying too long.

00:11:21.760 Right. The reality of it is in some cases you're out of integrity, right? It's like, Hey, I'm going

00:11:28.440 to be late now for this other thing. That's not good. Like, I don't care how great the conversation

00:11:33.400 is. If you're now showing up late to another commitment, that's a problem. Right. The other

00:11:38.960 thing is, um, sometimes like some, those individuals in my life that I love that, that talk a lot,

00:11:47.260 and I really want to hang out with them sometimes. And this may sound mean sometimes I'm hesitant to

00:11:54.300 go hang out with them because I'm going to get sucked into a conversation and I don't have enough

00:12:00.460 time. And I'm now going to get like pressured, like might get pressured into talking later.

00:12:07.800 It's ineffective and I'm not efficient enough. So maybe just getting present to the cost.

00:12:13.380 There's a cost for all things. Even if your deeds are the best deeds on the, on the planet,

00:12:18.400 if you are a highly social people person, the benefits are what people feel valued by you.

00:12:25.320 They know you're genuine. You care. Yeah. And the consequences, what, right? What's the cost?

00:12:31.100 Well, my kids aren't going to get to bed in time. They're going to stay up too late. They're going to

00:12:35.180 be droggy in the morning, like get present to the cost. And maybe that might help you go, Hey,

00:12:41.360 it's not worth it, right? It's not worth sticking around always. And what's the cost of me always

00:12:47.580 being too overly social with you, Sean. And every single time we hang out, you're always late coming

00:12:53.840 home or you're always late getting to your next meeting because I can't shut my mouth. Right.

00:12:58.000 And I keep talking and I want to talk all day. So other than that, I think maybe just intentionality

00:13:04.860 and keep to your schedule, right? If your plan was to be at a party for three hours,

00:13:09.080 then leave at three hours. Why? Because you said you would and you need to. And I think you can do

00:13:15.000 a proper exit without offending people, right? It's like, dude, thank you so much. The conversation

00:13:20.180 has been awesome, Sean. It's always great to catch up. Unfortunately, I got a commitment. I got to run,

00:13:25.240 man, but it was great seeing you. Let's do it again. It's better to see it again and have those

00:13:30.740 conversations more often and you honor your commitments than not. And, and by the way,

00:13:35.400 we even talked about this in the iron council. This is one of the tips I give to balancing leaders

00:13:39.080 is in your calls on time. Why? Because if you drudge through the next time I have a call, it's like,

00:13:45.560 oh, it's going to probably run late. And then I have this other commitment. And so I'm hesitant

00:13:49.820 to get on the call because you're not respecting my time either. And so just kind of keep that in mind.

00:13:55.740 Hmm. Anything else, Sean, that come to mind? Yeah. It stood out when you said that maybe it's

00:14:02.200 mean. I don't think it's mean. I think it's, it's just about effectiveness and, and what serves you

00:14:09.420 and what you're trying to do, whether it's business and family, your relationships. And if, if you know

00:14:18.200 what you want, there's always going to be less time to just schmooze because you're, you're going to be

00:14:25.700 on task with something. And a lot of those conversations, not only are they not serving

00:14:31.640 you, but they're not serving the person that you're with. So it's all, I think a matter of

00:14:36.260 perspective for me. I know if I get into a half hour long conversation with somebody that's just

00:14:42.200 shooting the breeze that doesn't serve either one of us. It's taking time away from both of us and

00:14:47.660 being effective in the things that are important, which for me is my faith, my family, my business,

00:14:53.760 the other things that are serving the people that are most important to me. And, and by the way,

00:14:59.780 that could include family because I know I've had family members and stuff get kind of upset with me,

00:15:06.780 I guess you could say, because I was short with them or, or I didn't hold into conversation with

00:15:11.940 them. But at the end of the day, like, you know, whether it's my cousin or my aunt or someone like that,

00:15:17.660 if they're not going to be paying my bills at the end of the day, and there's stuff I needed to get

00:15:22.340 done for work or in my business or whatever it is that supersedes that conversation. So, you know,

00:15:30.560 again, it's a matter of figuring out if it's, if you're wasting time, how much time, and that,

00:15:36.200 like you said, the cost I think is important to know.

00:15:40.600 Okay. Uh, Ian Roth, he had a question around Ryan first lessons learned writing his first book.

00:15:47.300 Um, Ian, we're going to punt your question maybe so you can get Ryan's particular feedback next time.

00:15:54.420 Sam Broadway. I just got engaged yesterday. Gentlemen, tell us your proposal stories.

00:15:59.800 You got a good one. Mine was interesting because it went full circle. I, I had this elaborate plan

00:16:09.260 to take my wife cause she's from Montana and she grew up on wick and food stamps and in a trailer

00:16:16.600 in Northeastern Montana. Like most people think of Montana. They think of either like Glacier

00:16:21.540 national park or Yellowstone and how it's beautiful. Um, not billing set out in the middle of nowhere.

00:16:27.360 Yeah. Yeah. Northeast corner. It's like, it looks like Mad Max. There's nothing. And there's no

00:16:32.860 people to know anything. It's awful. And so she grew up out there broke. And so she also grew up

00:16:39.560 eating venison, mostly whatever her dad could get right. Whatever they could end up with food wise,

00:16:47.680 they would eat. And so she kind of had these memories attached to venison and stuff like that. So I,

00:16:52.340 I'm like, man, I need to find a place that has some wild game found one in Malibu because we live

00:16:57.180 out, you know, near Malibu and, and it's a high end real nice place. So I, that's where we're going

00:17:04.260 to go to dinner and I was going to do it. But before that we went to Malibu pier and I, I was

00:17:10.520 going to take her out there and kind of fool her where she thought I was going to propose. And that's

00:17:15.580 exactly what happened. We go out, we go to the end of the pier it's during sunset. It was like perfect

00:17:21.560 setting, perfect place to propose. And I don't do it. Yeah. And you could see her kind of confused

00:17:28.640 as we left. And, uh, and then we go to this place, which is supposed to be this big high-end

00:17:35.020 restaurant. And I'd never been there before this. And, uh, and we walk in and this is during this

00:17:42.080 time is 23 years ago. I was not hunting back then. I wasn't doing anything like that, like,

00:17:47.100 and didn't really understand it even. And we walk into this place and there's like,

00:17:52.660 you know, there's animals all over the place, you know, all these stuffed animals,

00:17:58.300 like mouths and stuff. Okay. Everywhere. Right. And we go in and, and they take us upstairs. They

00:18:03.920 sit us at this chair where literally there's a stuffed badger, like right next to the table, like,

00:18:09.820 you know, like, like in that position, like it's going to pounce. There's a stuffed badger. There's,

00:18:17.180 you know, we're surrounded by like three, you know, mounts up, up above us on the wall is like a

00:18:23.140 big horn sheep and a, and a white tail. And, uh, I forget what else like a, like a bison or something.

00:18:30.500 Right. Like, and, uh, and so she's thinking really like, there's no way he's going to propose in this

00:18:37.020 place. This is weird, right. That he took me here. And, uh, and then I told her, you know,

00:18:42.640 Hey, they've got wild game. That's why I took you here and whatever else I ended up proposing there,

00:18:47.940 but it was so funny because I, I, this is before cell phones had your cameras and all that stuff.

00:18:54.560 Right. So I had a physical camera and I told the, the waiter, Hey, when you see me get down on a knee,

00:19:00.580 just start snapping pictures and, uh, on the 35 millimeter. Uh, and so he does that and we get

00:19:08.800 the pictures back and literally it's like me on a knee with this, this, you know, like trying to

00:19:14.840 show the ring, but all you could focus on is this badger, this badger that looks like it's about to

00:19:22.660 pounce on me while I'm proposing to her. Yeah. That's funny. That's the problem with

00:19:30.760 anything eventful happening when we were younger is like, there's no photographer to like capture

00:19:37.380 the moment. And let's be honest, not capture the moment, make the moment seem way better than it

00:19:41.640 actually was. It's usually like kind of shitty, you know, when we look at like old photos and stuff

00:19:48.700 that were taken. So mine, um, so Asia and I, when we're dating, we ran, um, there's, there's these

00:19:56.460 races called Ragnar relays. Yeah. And it actually started in Utah and it's called a Wasatch back.

00:20:02.780 And what it was is it's a 12 man race. And, and at the time that I think it was like 190 miles

00:20:12.140 nonstop relay. So, and it's one of those easy ones. Yeah. And it's super gnarly because it's

00:20:20.200 nonstop. Right. And so your first leg is like six miles and then you support your runner. So you

00:20:26.920 support your team. So you're in a van and then you're like stopping two miles ahead, giving them

00:20:31.560 water. And so more or less you don't sleep. So it's like two days of sleeping, no sleeping and running

00:20:37.540 and like yelling and, you know, and it's nonstop. And so I told the team that we're running with,

00:20:44.760 um, which was actually my coworkers from I am flash. Um, but I told them like, Hey,

00:20:50.320 I'm going to propose at the finish line. And so as we ran into the finish line, you know,

00:20:55.940 we're all running down and then the team all kind of, I like sprinted ahead a little bit.

00:21:01.600 And then, and then I, I dropped my, and then I faced her and I, and I knelt right in front of

00:21:07.960 the finish line and then proposed, which was great. Like it was kind of fun. Um, the joke was,

00:21:13.940 is that I needed to like exhaust her sleep deprivation to say yes. The fun part was,

00:21:23.220 is like the next day we got flooded with like calls from like family members and friends like,

00:21:31.600 Oh, congratulations. And we're like, how do you guys know? And they're like, Oh, it's on the front

00:21:35.880 page of the newspaper of the sports section. Oh, wow. The front page of the, of the sports section

00:21:42.540 is me kneeling proposing, which is super cool. Yeah. Like is the, the, the, um, journalists did like

00:21:50.760 a whole ride up about us and, and totally like Trump the entire thing. And it was kind of funny

00:21:56.980 because like he covered the event covered us. And then like the last two sentence was, and Weber

00:22:03.420 state university took first and blah, blah, blah. And you know what it was like, it was like a complete

00:22:08.140 afterthought. I thought, Oh, four guys, but it was cool. And so now I have all these newspaper

00:22:12.620 clippings, you know what I mean? From, from the event. So it worked out really well.

00:22:16.220 She couldn't ask for something better. Yeah. It worked out really well. Yeah. Yeah.

00:22:21.180 Unattended. Well, and I totally missed all kinds of other stuff. So we have a, his, hers

00:22:25.220 and ours. And so I had my two boys and her boy on the side, like, as you come into the

00:22:32.920 finish line, you know, there's people cheering on the sides and they, they had poster boards

00:22:37.600 up and the poster board said, will you marry my dad as they're holding up? So, so we're

00:22:42.980 running by them. And then as she came to the last board, then that's when I proposed.

00:22:46.460 So, so we incorporated the kids added a little bit of like, if you say no, the poor kids and

00:22:51.980 no pressure. Yeah. Yeah. No pressure. All right. Uh, Jarrett, uh, uh, uh, storle, storle,

00:23:01.660 sorry, Jarrett. What is your answer? When someone says this movement order, man is all about toxic

00:23:08.480 masculinity and nothing about family or the comment, just a good old boys club. I believe

00:23:15.000 order man is an excellent resource to building society to a proper direction. So has this

00:23:20.420 come up to you for you, Sean?

00:23:21.940 It has. And when I got into the IC, I ended up starting a men's group in my business.

00:23:31.400 And when I introduced that to the business, we got a little bit of pushback at first from

00:23:37.040 some of the women, uh, and some of the more liberal women, I guess you could say kind of

00:23:42.620 like, Oh, well, what are you starting this men's group and whatever else? And that's exclusive

00:23:47.100 to us. Yeah. Yeah. And, and I think the key is once you have the conversation of what it actually

00:23:55.720 is, then everything's fine. But I also think it's important to go at it. And I'm like that anyways.

00:24:01.920 I like to go to issues straight at them instead of whether it's passive aggressiveness or just

00:24:09.680 avoiding it altogether, which is what most people do or ignore it. Like, Oh, I don't need to prove

00:24:14.280 myself to them. I think it's important to go to those straight at them and have the conversation.

00:24:19.480 And once you do, then it's been fine because I was able to explain like, look, this, we need that.

00:24:25.600 And this was right before COVID. Uh, you know, when I started, I think I, I started in the IC in

00:24:33.760 October, November of, uh, what was it? 19. So, um, and got this started right before that.

00:24:43.760 And my answer to them was, well, this is going to help people be better husbands, better fathers,

00:24:52.000 uh, better, more supportive of the women in their lives, a better leaders, better communicators.

00:25:00.500 And if you call that toxic, then I don't know what to tell you, but my goal is to help them go at

00:25:08.060 issues that are in my opinion, going to take away the toxic part of the masculinity, but we're going

00:25:14.200 to increase their masculinity and help them improve and being prepared in, in their homes and in their

00:25:20.420 households, being, um, more effective in what they're doing, whether it's their business, uh,

00:25:27.080 their families, even in their communities, especially in their communities. And after that,

00:25:33.620 those conversations, then they felt really comfortable because then it felt supportive

00:25:39.540 of women and not exclusive of them, which is what we are. And so that I think the conversation is the

00:25:49.460 important part, unless the initial reaction of, you know, kind of like that Ryan talks about a lot,

00:25:56.660 the zero F's mentality or whatever they can think with the red pill movement. Yeah. You know, that's

00:26:01.820 on them. I don't think it is on them. I think it's, I think that's actually one of the best things that

00:26:07.460 can happen is people bring that up. So you could have the conversation. Totally. I, you know, if you

00:26:13.340 said that to me, I'd be like, have you listened to the podcast? Like, this is the first thing I'd like,

00:26:18.020 have you listened to anything? Because that's obviously not what we're doing now. Let's be frank.

00:26:23.200 Like I say that to you, you're just going to take that as an attack. Right. So I would be genuine,

00:26:29.680 you know, if, if hypothetically, if you came to me and said, Hey, what's this order of man stuff?

00:26:34.040 Is it just really about toxic masculinity or what? I would say, what's your definition of toxic

00:26:39.040 masculinity? Yeah. And then once you describe it, then we all know that it's not what we're doing.

00:26:44.820 You're like, Oh no, no, that's not the objective, right? The objective is to help men rise up

00:26:50.300 to become better versions of themselves, whether it's father as fathers or, or within their

00:26:56.980 businesses, community members and, and husbands. That's all that we're doing. So, you know, Ryan

00:27:04.140 posted in the last couple of days, he posted a thing. It was an old post of, I think he was jogging

00:27:11.600 or something. And he was talking about how men need to be more prepared in their homes. They need

00:27:17.620 to get their finances in order. They need to be physically more prepared. They need to improve

00:27:23.780 their communication efforts. They, and he, and he went through this list of things that we should be

00:27:28.540 doing as men to be better. And this is pre COVID. And then he said, you know, here's some of the,

00:27:34.280 the things that people said back then. Right. And, and then what's come through and basically like

00:27:41.400 all of this stuff has come true that he had said and how important it was that we were prepared in

00:27:47.400 those things. And so you look at that and it's for me, I'm just, I'm so grateful and blessed to be in

00:28:00.960 the IC to, to pay attention, to order a man, to be introduced to it, uh, to read Ryan's book,

00:28:08.120 to be able to have these resources, um, to not only to help me get better in those things the last few

00:28:15.280 years, but, uh, to be able to help others do it as well, uh, through the IC, through even doing this

00:28:23.460 through the men's group that I've started. And I know that there's other guys in the IC that have

00:28:28.840 started their own men's group and their families and it, I mean, just churches trickle through effect

00:28:35.580 has it's, uh, it's life-changing and it's needed now more than ever. Um, but yeah, when you break

00:28:43.540 down what we're teaching and what we're keeping each other on point with, uh, there's, you couldn't

00:28:52.320 look at it and use the word toxic in my opinion. Yeah, no. And, and Jared, if you, what you're

00:28:57.980 looking for is maybe evidence of why this movement is important, man, there's so many different books.

00:29:05.180 I mean, the one that I referenced probably way too many times on this podcast already is,

00:29:09.660 is the boy crisis. Read that book. This is a problem. Like society has a problem or grab any

00:29:17.260 statistics on the chances, you know, fatherless homes, just address that issue. And you can grab

00:29:24.160 stat after stat of the drawbacks and the issues associated with fatherless homes. So pick your

00:29:31.540 poison. There's plenty of evidence that men need to rise up and they need to do better job. We need

00:29:36.880 to do a better job. And, um, so if you're looking for evidence around that, check out, uh, I think

00:29:41.820 Dr. Farrell's book, uh, the boy crisis. Um, and there's a, an arrange of other books that really

00:29:47.320 support this movement. So it'd be interesting to see, as you say that to get a stat from guys in the

00:29:54.240 IC, it'd be easier through the IC than it would, I think in the Facebook group or any of that, but

00:29:59.420 just to get a stat of how many men didn't have an active, uh, male role model or, or father in their

00:30:08.820 home growing up, because it seems pretty apparent for most of the guys, when that issue gets brought

00:30:14.280 up that most of the guys didn't have that father figure around they, and they want to change that.

00:30:22.100 So, I mean, shoot, just that alone is worth its weight in gold. My opinion.

00:30:26.660 Yeah, totally. Scott Henderson in the past, I used to get upset when people would point out flaws and

00:30:33.660 act like they're, that they're joking. I now I smile and move on. I feel I have moved forward

00:30:39.860 graciously, but those people still keep saying things like, Oh, how emotional Hindo. I feel I'm

00:30:45.780 not emotional anymore, but I can't live it down. How do you handle people like this?

00:30:52.700 You choke them out. It's like, Hey, what's train. I'll show you my emotions.

00:30:59.920 You wear it on your sleeve. No, it, it, um, you just take it because it's going, that's your

00:31:12.640 reputation. And until you've built a new reputation, which takes time, they're going to give you

00:31:20.320 heart. And, and by the way, some people aren't going to let it go. I, I will see guys from high

00:31:25.780 school occasionally, or even middle school who still call me an old nickname. One of my nicknames

00:31:31.220 in high school is Spicoli. And so it's like, I'll still see people that call me that. And, and,

00:31:38.000 but people who knew me post high school or, or through my business now, or who I am now,

00:31:43.940 they can't even imagine me as that guy. And so it's, some things are just going to stick with you

00:31:50.500 and you have to let it not bother you. It's it now it's hard, but, um, you have to understand

00:31:59.460 that, um, no matter how good your reputation, I tell this to people when they, they get into

00:32:06.340 business with me, because we're in a business where you're marketing yourself. And especially

00:32:12.340 it's kind of like you get into real estate, right? And you want everybody to know you're

00:32:16.080 in real estate. Well, just cause they know you have a real estate license now doesn't

00:32:21.040 mean that they're going to list their house with you because maybe they remember the one

00:32:26.480 time you fell off that bar stool in that Mexican restaurant like 10 years ago. And they remember

00:32:32.640 that guy. And because of that, they're not going to list their house with you. Well, you

00:32:36.440 can't take that personally. You just have to become the real estate guru. And that might

00:32:41.720 take you five years, 10 years, maybe even 20 before you build that credibility and that

00:32:47.980 reputation with them. But it's something you just have to take as part of human nature.

00:32:54.200 Yeah. And you being emotional will just perpetuate, will just perpetuate it. So you being bothered

00:33:01.120 by it is just perpetuating it. You know what I mean? So, yeah, I think you just maybe just be

00:33:07.600 gracious in regards to how you have been and say, oh yeah, check. Yeah. I guess that would

00:33:12.440 look like the old me, you know, and, and just have the conversation, you know what I mean? And

00:33:16.100 move on. So yeah. Yeah. Good point. All right. Johnny Loretty, where does a man draw the line

00:33:22.080 between sharing relevant personal mental health struggles and over sharing? There's a push for men

00:33:28.340 to share more, but where is the point where you lose leadership credibility with your guys if

00:33:33.920 you're in a leadership position? It's a good question. But see, there's a, there is a line

00:33:42.480 between vulnerability, Ryan's favorite word. Yeah. And, and weakness, I guess you could say. And so

00:33:57.720 if I'm being honest, you shouldn't be sharing those things. It's one thing saying, Hey, look,

00:34:04.520 I know how you feel. I've felt like, I don't know if you're familiar with feel felt found.

00:34:09.580 I know how you feel. I felt that way. I had this similar situation. Here's what I found.

00:34:15.280 There's, that's something you definitely want to do. And if you could call that vulnerability,

00:34:19.840 that's, that's just telling your story and using your experiences. I think that's fine,

00:34:25.500 but honestly, you shouldn't be bringing personal issues, especially emotional issues down line

00:34:36.520 for lack of a better word. So if you're in a leadership role, you bring issues like that only

00:34:44.220 up to, you know, if you're in a corporate setting, you bring it up to your supervisor,

00:34:49.600 to your manager, whoever it is, you go up with those things only. If you're an entrepreneur,

00:34:54.840 you need to find a mentor or somebody that you can bring those things to, and you go up with that.

00:35:02.080 But you never bring that stuff downward to whether it's your subordinates or people on your team or,

00:35:09.800 or that you're leading, because I think it does impede on your leadership credibility.

00:35:18.040 Now, some guys might disagree with me on that. They'd say you need to be vulnerable and all that

00:35:23.400 stuff, but I'm not saying you don't share some of those things, but you do it only when you're

00:35:31.200 trying to help them through a situation so that they, you have credibility in going through that

00:35:36.960 experience before the, your actual issues, whether they're emotional, whether they're relationship

00:35:43.660 issues, just personal things that are going on in your life. You need to have a mentor or a coach

00:35:51.200 or a manager, somebody you can go up with those things with. If it's not, you know, maybe it's

00:35:56.420 someone at church, maybe it's a, your leader or pastor at church. Maybe it's even just someone in

00:36:01.960 your community that is good at those things, or that's someone more like you want to be yourself

00:36:07.660 that you go to and you talk to about those things, but I don't think you should be doing it with

00:36:11.800 people that you're trying to lead. Yeah. Yeah. I think that what I'm hearing, Sean, is just ask

00:36:19.640 yourself or continually evaluate, is this serving them, right? If, if you being humble and having

00:36:27.440 some authenticity around a struggle, because by sharing that you're helping your team be able to

00:36:33.780 relay of how that might be applied to them, that's serving them. But if I'm pissed off about another

00:36:40.140 leader in the org and I'm being emotional about it and I'm bitching to my team about a breakdown of

00:36:46.040 communication, how does that serve them? No, they're going to latch on and end up having a

00:36:50.220 problem with that person because you have a problem with that person. It doesn't serve them. It's going

00:36:54.480 to actually hinder them and hurt them. And so I would just constantly be evaluating, does this serve

00:37:00.160 the team? Does this serve the mission? And does it benefit? And if it does share, if it doesn't,

00:37:05.180 don't share or figure your shit out and then use it as an example of, Hey, I had this issue. This

00:37:11.980 is what I'm going to do. This is how I'm going to move beyond it. And now it's a good learning

00:37:15.740 experience. But if you're still learning, you're in the process of figuring your shit out, don't just

00:37:20.540 rant your emotions and, and run off because let's be frank, that doesn't serve anybody to be, to be

00:37:26.940 honest, because you're still working it out. And unfortunately, a lot of cases when we share

00:37:31.440 emotionally like that without conclusion, I think people latch onto it and they go, Oh yeah. And

00:37:38.060 they, they want to back you up because I'm getting a little sidetracked here, but this is what we do,

00:37:43.360 by the way, right? When we have a problem with something, we can take ownership and end up finding

00:37:49.120 a resolve. If you don't take ownership, you usually have to blame someone or something of why it occurred.

00:37:55.780 And, and usually your desire to want to share it with someone, Sean, I want to share it with you.

00:38:03.000 Why? Because I want to build my, my confidence and my buy-in in regards to why I'm a victim.

00:38:11.700 Yeah. Or you want to validate it from that person to validate you.

00:38:16.160 Yeah, exactly. And most people will validate. Why? Because it's easier to validate you versus

00:38:20.700 telling you like you're being a little bitch and to man up. So you will get validated and then you'll

00:38:25.820 feel better temporarily about the problem because you got validated. Well, that's great for me

00:38:30.500 emotionally, but now Sean's on this train of problem that I had and he's going to do what now?

00:38:37.160 Is he going to support me on taking ownership and rising above? No, he's going to perpetuate

00:38:42.960 what he validated me about being a victim or blaming someone else and not taking ownership.

00:38:49.800 So does it serve Sean? No. Does it serve me? No. So just be mindful of how it's going to serve

00:38:56.020 individuals. And if it's really serving yourself, most when we're seeking validation, it's not

00:39:00.960 benefiting even us. It's a temporary feel good, but it's not, it's really not the resolution for most

00:39:07.180 things. Yeah. But I do think it's important to talk about it is you just, and I agree. You

00:39:11.900 definitely don't want to hold it in, but if you don't have that person in your circle now that you can

00:39:17.660 go up to, you need to find them. And sometimes that might be a therapist, even just get a third

00:39:23.860 party that you can sit with and deal with those issues with. A lot of people don't want to do

00:39:29.100 that because it makes them feel like they're broken, but it's absolutely necessary.

00:39:34.020 To your point, if I'm feeling like a victim, you're saying, Hey, find someone to talk about it,

00:39:38.740 talk with it, with someone that is going to tell you, or going to serve you in a beneficial way,

00:39:44.040 but you're saying, but you need to express it and work through it. Don't just brush it under the

00:39:49.800 mat or whatever. Yeah. And one more quick thing that I have kind of this rule of thumb that when

00:39:54.600 you're, I'm going through it, I don't talk about it, but when I've overcome it, then I do because

00:40:00.860 there's strength in that story. And when I'm going through it, I remind myself, this is going to be a

00:40:05.700 great story someday, but you don't tell it while you're going through it. You tell the story of

00:40:12.380 overcoming that thing. And there's way more power in that. Yeah. And I don't think that's an ego

00:40:18.960 thing, by the way, Sean, I think that is you being mindful of what's going to serve people.

00:40:24.520 Another thing that crossed my mind that I think is just an important thing to know,

00:40:28.480 because we have this conversation with battle team leaders in the IC often is why, or what's the

00:40:35.560 objective? What are you trying to accomplish as, as, as, as a leader? And it is to serve your team and

00:40:41.400 help them become better period. And, and by the way, this is something you have to fight for

00:40:46.240 constantly. It's like integrity. You never just don't have it. You know, I can't count many times

00:40:52.040 where I have my head on straight. Why am I here? What's the purpose? What, what's the primary

00:40:57.000 objective? And then before you know it, if I'm not careful, my ego's in, Oh, it's about looking good.

00:41:02.480 I want the approval of the team and, and I'm practicing from a space of trying to look good.

00:41:06.620 Oh shit. That's not why I'm here. Right. And I have to put that in check and remember like, Hey,

00:41:12.200 it's, I'm here to serve the team. If my team's struggling with having authentic sharing and

00:41:18.860 being humble with each other, what should I probably do? Be humble and probably authentic lead from the

00:41:24.940 front, show them how that's done, right? Open it up. And so if you're looking for things from your

00:41:29.540 team that they're not doing, you probably have to go first. And so look for those opportunities.

00:41:34.320 At least that's one trigger that's, you know, red flag, I guess. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Brandon

00:41:40.980 McKiff, as I work to transition into my own business as a fitness trainer, as well as my wife doing her

00:41:48.140 own home nursing care. She's a BSN. Is there any advice for two people simultaneously starting their

00:41:55.600 dream jobs and also maintaining our relationship with both ourselves and our four kids? And by the way,

00:42:01.280 we just transitioned from the iron council. These are Facebook questions to join us on Facebook,

00:42:06.040 go to facebook.com slash group slash order, man, Sean, go. Yeah. I mean, that's, that's

00:42:12.740 the, that question is, and I, this is not a shameless question, but it, it kind of is,

00:42:19.480 but the book that my, my wife just wrote, it's called happy and strong. That's exactly what it's

00:42:23.720 about. And I think the, there's so many things we could spend hours talking about how to do that.

00:42:31.140 But the most important is number one, be on the same page with what you guys are trying to achieve

00:42:37.620 together and be supportive of what each of you needs, because with two different businesses,

00:42:45.720 and this is regardless, it happens if you're starting the same business or separate businesses

00:42:50.620 together. But I think it's even more important when you're starting separate businesses,

00:42:55.300 because you're going to have different challenges and do what you can to help each other through

00:43:01.140 those challenges. But knowing where you're headed is the most important part. And, and with two

00:43:07.980 separate ones, I think the difficulty is going to be in thinking that one's more important than the

00:43:13.700 other. And so, you know, make sure you're in constant communication about where you're headed with

00:43:20.000 each. And then next is figure out your scheduling. So for us, communication is the biggest thing we

00:43:31.740 kind of have monthly goals, monthly things we're trying to achieve. We have weekly family meetings,

00:43:38.080 it sounds like they have kids. And so every single week we're sitting with our kids, like even last

00:43:44.300 night, we said, you know, during our Easter dinner, we kind of started our family night and said, Hey,

00:43:50.400 this is a big week. We have a lot going on. I'm taking my boys out into the desert. We're going

00:43:54.820 dirt biking. My wife's taking my daughter out to Tennessee, where we're going to be moving.

00:43:59.900 She's also stopping in Austin and doing a podcast with, you know, with someone and, and actually with

00:44:05.440 Justin Wren, you know, so that'll be fun. And, and so they have a big weekend. We do, we have all this

00:44:10.440 stuff coming up. And so leading up to that, plus we're moving in June. So it was like having the

00:44:16.400 conversation with the kids of, Hey, this is going on this week and making sure that we were very clear

00:44:22.160 that on certain days, my kids knew I was doing this this morning. So, and they knew my laptop broke

00:44:28.580 down. So my normal quiet part of the house, I'm not in, and I'm in my art room now that like, you know,

00:44:34.840 this is where the kids generally break into right when they wake up in the morning. And so

00:44:39.580 we had to have that conversation, making sure they were clear that they weren't going to break

00:44:44.200 into this room. They knew what was happening. Right. And so that communication of us being on

00:44:49.640 the same page, we know on a normal week, all of the kids sports activities, all of the, um, you know,

00:44:58.480 things we have to do in church, things that we're doing in our callings there in our church, things that

00:45:03.780 we have to do in business and all of that scheduled before we even start the week. So every one

00:45:09.540 of us knows are non-negotiables. So, you know, why am I, this is typically a business question.

00:45:16.720 So why am I talking about the family? Because you're not going to get this stuff done in your

00:45:20.940 business as effectively. If you don't first have those non-negotiables in, and it's because you

00:45:26.640 asked about balance is if I know before I start the week, like my birthday's on Thursday. And so,

00:45:33.440 but I'm leaving with my boys on Thursday and my wife's getting on a plane. So we're not going out

00:45:37.700 Thursday night. So we're going to do that Wednesday. So we already have that in that's

00:45:42.180 a non-negotiable. There's already been like four other meetings that people have tried to get my

00:45:46.920 wife and I to do. And we're not going to do that. Right. Like it's scheduled in, this is what we're

00:45:50.920 doing as a family. That's non-negotiable. We're not going to change it for anything when it's my kids

00:45:56.240 games and those things, that stuff scheduled in, right. There's things they want to do that.

00:46:01.920 They ask us about in our family night. So that stuff's in the schedule and we won't move things

00:46:10.900 as they come up before we even start. So that's the only way you're going to achieve the balance.

00:46:17.960 And like you mentioned earlier, whether it's being on time or going, you know, into those things,

00:46:23.920 it's even worse than being late is rescheduling stuff like that. And so when we have it and we've

00:46:33.160 already committed, we committed years ago, not to reschedule those things. You start with that

00:46:38.580 and then it's okay. What's the next most important things. And you have that in your battle planner,

00:46:45.760 however you do it. Another reason to get a battle planner and to be on it every day,

00:46:49.980 knowing what you need to do each day for both of you. And then at the end of the day, having your

00:46:56.700 after action review, going through that together, what went well today, what didn't, what can we

00:47:04.600 improve on? How can we help each other? Where's the space that we can do that in each day? It's just

00:47:10.880 the communication needs to go, you know, on red alert, basically, especially as you're starting.

00:47:16.880 Um, and that's for most people going to be hard at first, uh, but you do it consistently for at least

00:47:26.580 the next 90 days and build that into a habit. And hopefully that's just a part of what you do,

00:47:32.240 but I don't think you have a chance without starting it that way with just super aggressive

00:47:37.900 communication. Yeah. And I think that communication is just laying out expectations,

00:47:44.340 even the ones that just might seem no brainers, you know, it's like, honey, what are the key ways

00:47:49.460 that I can help support you and your business? Yeah. Because us guys, we will have a tendency

00:47:54.400 probably in most guys will not ask, right? Like I just need time. Let me have my time and I'll get

00:48:00.560 done. My wife, on the other hand, she expects me to support her and support looks like me doing this

00:48:07.940 and me doing that and me taking an active role in her business versus her taking an active role in

00:48:14.120 mine. Right. So I just need my time. Hers, hers is like, well, you never helped me, you know, get

00:48:20.700 implement my billing. So it's better. And you know what I mean? Help me on the technology front and

00:48:24.920 et cetera. It's like, so have the conversation. What does, uh, you supporting her look like? And then

00:48:30.720 the last thing that I just point out is just keep your priorities straight, you know, your time

00:48:36.340 together, your guys's date night, time with your kids, you know, uh, honor your, on your commitments

00:48:41.700 and your priorities. You know, one of the best things I ever did is, is convince my wife to actually

00:48:47.300 like get connected to my work, email and calendaring. So she sends me meeting invites, just like I get

00:48:54.960 meeting invites from clients. It's no different. Um, and, and so those stay tightly integrated. I know

00:49:01.920 when we fly out this Wednesday to go to Arizona, you know what I mean? We're, we're on the same page

00:49:06.860 in regards to our schedule. So, um, good stuff. You know, I wrote down, as you said that taking an

00:49:12.980 active role in her business, and that's a rare thing. There's so many couples, especially think that

00:49:20.720 supporting your partner is, Oh, go ahead, go do it, honey. You know, that's your thing. Go get them.

00:49:29.620 That's not support. That's, that's, you know, I don't even know what you call that. It's compliant.

00:49:37.040 Yeah. Yeah. And so real support is taking an active role in it. And, um, not enough people do that.

00:49:46.160 The fact that you have, and there's also too many men, too many people in general, but I think

00:49:51.540 especially men that say, well, she doesn't need to know my calendar or I don't, I don't want her to

00:49:58.680 know all of this stuff that's going on in business. I think that's a problem. Like if you have a problem

00:50:02.860 with sharing your calendar, because you can't be quote unquote, your own man, which is what I hear

00:50:08.440 from a lot of guys. They don't want to share their cat calendar, their schedule. They're my own man.

00:50:13.740 I don't have to answer to, you know, my wife or anybody. Um, I think that's an issue. I think

00:50:20.480 it's important that the more open you can be with that. I actually think there's a lot more freedom

00:50:26.400 in that than, uh, it's kind of, who says that? I think it's Jocko, right? There's, there's freedom

00:50:32.240 and discipline. I think that's one of the discipline things that we need in the sharing of our schedules

00:50:37.380 to, uh, to have the freedom that we want. Yeah. John Stambaugh. I have managed people in my career

00:50:47.440 for the past 20 years. Currently I'm finding a larger lack of ownership in some of our up and

00:50:52.220 coming team members. I have tried to coach around this and offer more learning materials to pull from

00:50:57.800 this mentality of theirs is standing in their way of both professionally and personally. I understand

00:51:04.740 you can't force people to change. The question is, are there other ways to introduce the idea?

00:51:10.720 These folks want to succeed, but are standing in their own way. What was the beginning of that

00:51:16.340 question? I miss, um, he managed, he has managed people in this up and coming, he up and coming team

00:51:22.920 members are lacking, um, ownership and he's tried to coach them with materials and, um, you know,

00:51:31.940 he's looking for a strategy around, you know, helping them, uh, take on some ownership in their,

00:51:36.880 in their jobs. The give them a reason to it's especially early on. That's always going to be

00:51:44.720 an issue with people new coming onto a team. There's, they have no buy-in yet. And so with no buy-in,

00:51:51.740 you can't expect them to take ownership. And sometimes it's just a matter of figuring that out.

00:51:57.400 Even when you join a cause, like you could, you could want to join a nonprofit because you want to

00:52:04.020 help whatever, right? Like fight for the forgotten. I want to help against bullying.

00:52:11.480 And so I want to join this nonprofit and help them out. But then you get there and it's like, okay,

00:52:16.440 what do I do to help with this cause? A lot of times they just don't know. So they need that

00:52:23.160 buy-in or sometimes they get in because maybe they're trying to make money. I don't know,

00:52:27.540 you know, specifically as far as the team, uh, but they need something bigger than just the task,

00:52:35.100 just even if it's money, uh, or whatever it is, you have to help them find out what that buy-in

00:52:44.020 is going to be kind of like the Simon Sinek, know your why, uh, help them get to that point. And

00:52:51.020 that's going to take, everybody's different. Some people are, they can get it in a week or two.

00:52:55.200 Some people it's going to take them a month or two, some may be a year or two, but it's our job

00:53:00.340 as leaders to help them get bought in. Totally, man. It's so funny. I was just having this conversation

00:53:06.380 this morning with our leadership team about the importance of getting buy-in and helping our

00:53:12.480 employees be fully committed to their jobs. And, and, and to your point, what that does that look like?

00:53:19.280 It looks like extreme ownership. Like when I'm thinking about it, guys, like when you're fully

00:53:24.200 committed to something, right. And you're showing up in a really powerful way. These, these are the

00:53:29.580 details. I'm actually pulling up my slide deck from this morning, right? So fully committed,

00:53:34.440 you take ownership and are accountable for the desired results. You're willing to do what it takes

00:53:39.800 to succeed. And you take initiative, you operate from personal values and have organizational alignment.

00:53:45.280 You have strong commitment to the company, the work group, and the actual role. And you operate

00:53:49.860 with high energy, passion, enthusiasm. That's what happens when you're fully bought in and committed,

00:53:56.020 AKA when you have extreme ownership. So back to your point, Sean, how, how do you take a team member

00:54:03.580 from, I just, Hey, this is just the 95, John, Sean, how do you get that guy to actually be fully

00:54:11.480 committed to the jobs? You focus on the intrinsic motivators. Why do people want to care? Ideas.

00:54:18.980 Autonomy. They want it to be their baby. They want some autonomy. They don't want to be micromanaged,

00:54:24.840 right? Mastery and opportunity to become the master, to be amazing at something. How, how are you

00:54:31.660 allowing that to be available to them? Give them purpose and meaning back to Simon Sinek, you know,

00:54:37.100 you know, your why, right? Is there a bigger meaning and purpose around their job? One thing

00:54:43.300 that I would like use as a measuring stick there is, are what they're doing, are they doing it in a way

00:54:48.280 that moves, touches, and inspires them? If you're not moved, touched, and inspired, you got to go

00:54:55.660 deeper, right? Whether that's your vision or your why or whatever, right? And they have to be moved,

00:55:00.600 touched, and inspired by you. So they have to see that in you. Also, you can't expect them to do it

00:55:06.580 if they don't, not just see it in you, but feel it in you. Totally. Totally. The other things,

00:55:12.900 they might have drive. They want to achieve greatness, right? Okay. Is what their role and

00:55:18.780 their job within the organization aligned to allow them to achieve greatness? Do they have a sense of

00:55:25.640 belonging? And then as well as status and respect from others, right? And so these are the things like

00:55:30.380 you can hop online, do a search for intrinsic motivators, figure out what makes them tick.

00:55:35.620 If an employee, here's my just opinion. If an employee is here because it's their nine to five

00:55:41.680 and we paid more than the other company, I don't want them working here. Seriously, I don't want them.

00:55:47.800 If you're here because we offered more, that's not good enough. It has to be greater than that.

00:55:53.480 And the reason why is because we want people that are fulfilled, that love their jobs. And when the

00:56:00.640 going gets tough and you're fully committed, what do you do? You push through. You find a way when

00:56:06.020 you're bought in. But if you have an employee that's just compliant, like, oh, well, I'll do it because

00:56:10.660 Sean asked me to. The minute I reach struggle, I'm checked out. I'm going to go, oh, yeah, it's not my job,

00:56:18.080 right? You're going to get that kind of bullshit. It's not my responsibility. It's not my blah, blah,

00:56:22.820 because they're not bought into what you're doing. And to your point, Sean, they're not going to be

00:56:28.400 unless you are too. Yeah, absolutely. All right. There's a rant. All right. We're up on time. So my

00:56:36.860 apologies, guys. We're giving you almost like exactly an hour because I have a hard stop meeting that I

00:56:43.980 kind of got too close overbooked. So a couple of things as call to actions, connect with Mr.

00:56:50.880 Mickler on Instagram and Twitter at Ryan Mickler. You can get your latest swag and everything at

00:56:58.640 store.orderofman.com to stay connected and find or to be notified the next time we have an opening

00:57:05.300 for the Iron Council. Go to orderofman.com slash Iron Council. And of course, you can join us on the

00:57:10.240 Facebook group. That's facebook.com slash group slash order of man. Sean, anything else?

00:57:16.640 Did Ryan want you to mention the man uncaged event? Yeah. You know what? That's a really good

00:57:21.060 point. So there's a man uncaged event. It's an in-person event, a hundred spots up in the Sacramento

00:57:29.800 area. That is May 6th. May 7th. Um, Bedros, Jack Donovan, Tanner, Ryan Mickler, Matt, uh, who

00:57:45.400 else? Uh, see now I'm going to, I'm going to forget someone and then I'm going to look bad.

00:57:51.340 Shit. It's going to be good. There's 99 spots by the way, cause I signed up. I'll be flying up

00:57:58.500 there real quick. Yeah. Well, and there's, I, if I remember correctly, my conversation with Ryan,

00:58:03.480 there's already, uh, more than half sold out. So, uh, the other individual is, uh, Steven, uh,

00:58:10.320 Mansfield, uh, he's presenting as well, as well as John Loveall from the warrior poet society. So

00:58:15.560 awesome event, go to manuncaged.com to learn more, to sign up. Um, it's going to go by quick and

00:58:23.240 it's already starting to become a little controversial. I think we, the event was up

00:58:28.260 a day and a half before Stripe dropped payment services for the event because yeah, because the

00:58:37.000 event is not in line with their social guidelines because having an all men's event, you know,

00:58:43.760 that's toxic by nature. It's crazy, man. It's just craziness. So, um, that means it's going to be

00:58:50.520 even better. Hell yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Totally. I'm like, this is, this is a good sign. If you're,

00:58:56.500 if people are trying to counsel you, can't cancel you nowadays, that's a good sign. So, uh, embrace

00:59:02.920 it and, uh, yeah, join manuncaged.com to sign up and register for that event. Um, thank you guys

00:59:10.600 support us, spread the word. And until, uh, Friday for Friday, field notes, take action and become the

00:59:18.300 men you were meant to be. Thank you for listening to the order of man podcast. You're ready to take

00:59:23.200 charge of your life and be more of the man you were meant to be. We invite you to join the order

00:59:27.820 at order of man.com.

Order of Man - April 20, 2022

Maintaining Focus Amidst Distractions, Handling Haters, and Being Authentic vs. Oversharing ｜ ASK ME ANYTHING

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