Order of Man - Make The Leap ｜ TOMMY BAKER

00:00:00.000 Making a leap in any facet of your life, whether it's within a relationship or a career or

00:00:05.320 anywhere in between is a challenging thing to do.

00:00:08.340 It's the leaps, however, that expose us to new growth and new opportunities that we do

00:00:12.860 not open ourselves up to in any other way.

00:00:16.480 Today, I'm joined by repeat guest Tommy Baker to talk about the leap.

00:00:20.660 We discuss redefining risk, how to avoid overwhelm, strategies for giving yourself more clarity,

00:00:26.640 how to eliminate the noise and tactics that you can use for ultimately making the leap.

00:00:32.340 You're a man of action.

00:00:33.680 You live life to the fullest, embrace your fears, and boldly chart your own path.

00:00:38.060 When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time, every time.

00:00:42.480 You are not easily deterred or defeated, rugged, resilient, strong.

00:00:47.540 This is your life.

00:00:48.640 This is who you are.

00:00:50.080 This is who you will become.

00:00:51.400 At the end of the day, and after all is said and done, you can call yourself a man.

00:00:56.980 Gentlemen, what is going on today?

00:00:58.240 My name is Ryan Mickler, and I am the host and the founder of this movement and the podcast

00:01:02.600 that is Order of Man.

00:01:04.300 I want to welcome you, regardless of how long you've been listening to the show, whether

00:01:07.980 it's your first time or 400th time listening to what we're doing here.

00:01:12.820 I just want to let you know that I am appreciative.

00:01:16.300 I'm glad that you're on this journey to reclaim and restore masculinity.

00:01:19.260 Andy, I'm glad that you're sharing this, and I'm also inspired by what you're doing every

00:01:24.760 day within the walls of your home and your businesses and your communities.

00:01:29.360 It helps me be a better man, and that is definitely an unintended consequence of what we're doing

00:01:33.460 here, but we're all in this together, and that's why it's called Order of Man, not called

00:01:37.780 Order of Ryan, is that we are collectively stepping up as men, serving more efficiently,

00:01:44.140 serving more effectively, and becoming the men that we're capable of being.

00:01:46.940 So to that end, we have this show, which is an interview show, and I'm interviewing guys

00:01:51.920 like David Goggins, Grant Cardone, Jocko Willink, Andy Frisilla, Tim Kennedy, Dakota Meyer.

00:01:59.440 The list is absolutely incredible with regards to who we've had on the podcast and these conversations,

00:02:05.240 and today is no different.

00:02:06.400 We'll get to that here in just a minute.

00:02:08.540 Also, we do our Wednesday show, which is an Ask Me Anything, where we're fielding questions

00:02:12.700 from members of our exclusive brotherhood, the Iron Council, and then we've got our Friday

00:02:17.420 show, which is Friday Field Notes.

00:02:19.520 It's just my thoughts, my ideas, and some things that I've been thinking of from throughout

00:02:24.300 the week.

00:02:25.040 So we'll get into the show here in a minute.

00:02:27.500 I do want to make a very quick mention of my friends over at Origin Maine.

00:02:31.800 Now, these guys do jujitsu, rash guards, geese, and apparel, but they also have their supplemental

00:02:37.560 lineup, and that's something that I use quite a bit.

00:02:39.880 I use Jocko's Malk, the Joint Warfare, Super Krill, and their pre-workout discipline, and

00:02:46.000 I definitely notice a difference.

00:02:48.340 I was a skeptic when it comes to supplements and all of these types of things, but I have

00:02:52.960 definitely noticed a difference as I have incorporated this into my training and fitness

00:02:58.440 regimen.

00:02:59.080 So if you're looking for some supplements, you're looking for a little advantage, a tactical

00:03:04.660 advantage, then I would definitely, definitely recommend that you check out their supplemental

00:03:08.220 lineup.

00:03:08.940 Again, that's partnering up with Jocko, and you can find that at originmaine.com, originmaine.com,

00:03:14.680 and then make sure, guys, that you use the code ORDER.

00:03:17.040 I want you to use that code O-R-D-E-R at checkout because you're going to get a discount when you

00:03:21.680 do.

00:03:22.380 So it's originmaine.com and then the code ORDER at checkout.

00:03:25.360 So with that said, guys, let's get into my conversation with a good friend of mine.

00:03:30.240 His name is Tommy Baker, and he's been on the podcast, I believe twice before.

00:03:35.460 This is a three-peat here.

00:03:37.280 He's one of the most positive people that I know, and when he sent me a copy of his latest

00:03:41.440 book, The Leap of Your Life, I knew that I wanted to get him back on the podcast because

00:03:45.700 this is a topic that a lot of men are dealing with and wondering how to ultimately make a leap

00:03:51.780 that they know will be good for him.

00:03:53.620 He's a fitness and life coach.

00:03:55.200 He's the founder of the Resist Average Academy podcast, where he is all about teaching people

00:04:01.680 across the planet to take control of their lives and overcome the hurdles and barriers

00:04:05.580 that have been keeping them back.

00:04:07.420 Now, you're going to hear it in his voice that, again, his positivity and his energy are

00:04:10.480 infectious.

00:04:10.880 And this conversation is packed, just packed with useful information, especially if you're

00:04:16.820 ready to make that big leap in your life that could lead to amazing results.

00:04:21.640 So sit back, get your notepads out if you can, and tune in the conversation with Tommy.

00:04:27.880 Tommy, what's up, man?

00:04:28.800 Glad to have you back on the show.

00:04:30.320 Ryan, super excited, man.

00:04:31.680 You're doing amazing things, and I'm just really honored to be here again.

00:04:35.540 Yeah, it's funny.

00:04:36.000 I say welcome back to the show.

00:04:37.280 That's just a habit, right?

00:04:38.320 But you and I are friends.

00:04:39.400 It's like, let's just have a conversation.

00:04:40.960 This isn't like a formal podcast interview.

00:04:44.860 I'm trying actually to get away from the word interview and just talk more about conversations

00:04:49.360 because I think, well, that's more engaging for me, and it's certainly more engaging for

00:04:52.580 the guys listening.

00:04:53.740 So it's funny you say that because on my podcast, I always say, this is not an interview.

00:04:57.120 This is a conversation.

00:04:58.140 And the experience that I want to give people is that you are in the room with us, and you're

00:05:02.540 just eavesdropping on a powerful conversation.

00:05:04.660 Yes, for sure.

00:05:05.700 Well, one of the things, so I don't know if you know this or not.

00:05:08.580 We are about 45 days out from a move across the country.

00:05:14.640 And my goal, yeah, we're excited about it.

00:05:16.740 My goal is to create the raddest studio possible and to start doing most of our interviews live.

00:05:24.220 Ooh, that's incredible, man.

00:05:25.900 So we'll have to get you on for a three-peat when I get out there and get you live and sit 0.99

00:05:28.740 down together.

00:05:29.580 That would be amazing, man.

00:05:31.000 It's going to be like a mix of Rogan and Order of Man, and you're probably going to have

00:05:34.780 some crazy stuff in there.

00:05:36.060 It will be an adventure, for sure.

00:05:39.360 I'm excited, man.

00:05:40.200 And something that I love about that is that you always post about your beginnings.

00:05:46.140 And I mean, even now, how simple your studio is and where it's at.

00:05:50.420 And I think it's such a great reminder, even for me, man, because I can find myself overcomplicating

00:05:56.280 things, even with everything that I know.

00:05:58.260 And I'm like, I need to have this set up, and I need to have the experience.

00:06:00.840 And it's like, how long has it taken you now that you're going to create that studio, but

00:06:05.240 you didn't wait to create content until you had that studio?

00:06:08.360 And I think that's a great reminder for all of us.

00:06:10.960 Yeah.

00:06:11.140 No, I think you're right.

00:06:12.580 I think you always should be striving to improve your situation, whether it's improving your

00:06:18.560 microphones or your video, or just taking it to the next level with regards to a podcast

00:06:22.200 or your relationship.

00:06:23.760 But I believe that you're right in that the greater threat is not that we focus on improvement.

00:06:29.240 It's that we never even start.

00:06:30.780 But yes, I think that's where most guys are hung up.

00:06:34.480 Yeah.

00:06:34.700 And then time passes, and we have enthusiasm around starting something, and then it's just

00:06:39.940 lost.

00:06:40.440 And we don't even remember it.

00:06:41.600 Or we make up an excuse, oh, it just wasn't the right time, or I didn't know what to do.

00:06:45.280 And it's like, no, no, no.

00:06:45.980 You had the opportunity, but you didn't do it.

00:06:48.800 Why do you think that is?

00:06:49.700 I mean, this is actually, I didn't plan it this way, but it's actually tying really nicely

00:06:53.320 into the conversation today.

00:06:55.000 Why do you think that is?

00:06:56.740 What do we struggle with so much when it comes to moving forward?

00:06:59.320 Yeah, I always say, and I really don't believe that any one of us is really lacking clarity

00:07:04.900 or the breakthroughs or the insights.

00:07:06.560 Now, don't get me wrong.

00:07:07.740 A lot of times, there's a lot of chaos.

00:07:09.060 There's a lot of noise that actually blocks us from accessing those.

00:07:12.140 One of the things that I do with my clients when they come out to Arizona is that we have

00:07:14.920 this mountain experience, and they have a level of clarity that they haven't felt in

00:07:18.680 years.

00:07:19.640 Now, is that because I magically brought that out of them?

00:07:22.960 No, it's because the environment and the space allowed for that clarity, and I facilitated

00:07:28.280 some of that, but this happens in our day-to-day.

00:07:30.980 We have moments of clarity where something needs to change, or we want to launch something,

00:07:34.520 or we need to have a tough conversation, and in that moment, I know that we have 100% certainty

00:07:39.360 that it has to be done, but what happens every moment after that, we start to lose a fraction

00:07:43.700 of belief and certainty, and then we simply just talk ourselves out of it, and that's the

00:07:48.380 biggest issue, and to me, that's the biggest tragedy.

00:07:51.140 It's that we don't step into those powerful moments, and then time passes, and it becomes

00:07:55.340 a fantasy, it becomes a memory, it becomes something that we wanted to do, but actually

00:07:59.800 never stepped into.

00:08:01.340 What do you think it is about the environment?

00:08:03.140 What makes it conducive to this sort of clarity?

00:08:05.620 Is it free from distraction?

00:08:07.140 Is it, I know for you, for example, you're running up the mountain, what is it, Camelback

00:08:12.960 or something probably that you're running up?

00:08:13.900 Yeah, one of those, yeah.

00:08:14.700 Yeah, which looks intense, by the way.

00:08:17.060 Next time I'm down or in the area, I definitely want to go on that.

00:08:19.840 We'll crush it, man. 0.81

00:08:20.580 We'll crush it. 0.98

00:08:21.200 I don't know if we'll crush it. 0.75

00:08:22.320 You'll crush it, and then I'll be lagging behind sucking wind on the way up that thing. 0.68

00:08:26.220 No way, man.

00:08:27.140 Your aerodynamic beard and all of the changes that you've made with your training, but here's

00:08:31.800 one of the things, Ryan, and I'm actually curious because you're about to move too,

00:08:35.880 but a lot of times our environment reminds us of who we've actually been in the past,

00:08:44.060 and that could be a work environment, home environment, it could be a studio, it could

00:08:47.480 be whatever it may be, and the neuroscience is very clear about this.

00:08:51.200 I mean, it's like when we're, even when we go to, when we sleep at a hotel, our brains

00:08:56.280 are like, it's subconsciously just trying to figure out like, okay, where am I?

00:08:59.060 Is it safe?

00:09:00.300 You know, your habits are different and all of that stuff, and so for me, when we get

00:09:06.160 into a new environment, we don't have that baggage from the past, right?

00:09:10.180 It's not who we've been.

00:09:11.220 It's like, it's this new space where, yeah, we can have clarity.

00:09:14.160 Yeah, we can be open.

00:09:15.420 Yeah, maybe there's a different possibility.

00:09:16.840 And so I always tell people our environment can be our anchor for stagnation to remind

00:09:21.500 us of who we've been, and if who we've been is not something that we want, the results

00:09:24.920 and the fulfillment of what we don't want, that's a really bad position to be in, or

00:09:29.120 it can, our environments can be a catalyst to the person that we're becoming or desiring

00:09:34.640 to become.

00:09:35.540 Now, does that mean that you have to move every single year and change every time you

00:09:38.400 up level?

00:09:38.740 No, but be very careful and aware of the environments, the people, the places that

00:09:44.140 you're spending time with, even online environments, right?

00:09:46.580 It's important to take inventory because with new environments, you just become a different

00:09:50.940 person.

00:09:51.320 I mean, when I'm surrounded by people like you, entrepreneurs who are thinking big and

00:09:55.800 bold, I'm pushed to a deeper place.

00:09:58.900 My conversations, my possibilities bigger, but you put me about people who are stuck and

00:10:03.080 spinning their wheels and nothing wrong with them.

00:10:04.800 We've all been there.

00:10:05.420 I feel less inspired.

00:10:07.340 I feel less motivated and environment is the fastest way to create quick behavior change.

00:10:13.940 So let's talk about in a second here, how to put yourself in that environment.

00:10:18.060 Cause I think a lot of guys, well, we probably all inherently know that, right?

00:10:21.660 I mean, most of us have heard you're the average of the five people you spend time with

00:10:24.760 and all these little catchphrases.

00:10:27.000 And yet for whatever reason, we, we don't, we aren't intentional about putting ourselves in

00:10:31.980 new environments.

00:10:32.600 Is that because it's hard?

00:10:34.920 Is it, is it because we're afraid?

00:10:36.760 Like, what have you seen as to why, even though we know inherently we should be doing this,

00:10:41.140 that there's a large percentage of us who don't.

00:10:44.680 Yeah.

00:10:45.080 I mean, think about the last time that, uh, and maybe it's been a while, but you know,

00:10:49.880 the last time you walked into maybe a gym that was like, it wasn't your typical planet.

00:10:55.880 It was like, this is a real gym.

00:10:57.520 Or maybe the first time you did that, I mean, I was like, that's, that's, that can be uncomfortable.

00:11:02.520 Or for me, like being in rooms with like these really big time entrepreneurs.

00:11:07.480 I mean, even recently when I step into those rooms, I'm like, okay, like this is, this is

00:11:12.220 going to challenge me.

00:11:13.060 Like, am I like, am I supposed to be here?

00:11:15.760 Right.

00:11:15.960 And within that, I think there's a lot of power.

00:11:18.300 So it takes that little bit of a discomfort and a lot of us avoid it because we say, you

00:11:21.820 know what, you know, and you know, people will say this all the time, you know, I need

00:11:25.200 to, I need to, you know, be successful before I go into that room.

00:11:28.640 And it's like, no, no, no, no, putting yourself in that room is what's going to make you successful.

00:11:32.480 And so that discomfort is why we avoid it.

00:11:34.780 Why?

00:11:35.040 Because, you know, we'd rather be in an environment that's safe and secure, even if it's not the

00:11:39.940 one that we want.

00:11:40.640 But when we're growing and we're really committed to growth, that's why I love your podcast.

00:11:44.560 Cause you say the words committed, you say the words discipline, all of the stuff that's

00:11:48.000 actually going to get you there, um, you will cross the threshold of uncomfortableness

00:11:53.520 for as long as it takes until you walk into that space that's, and you feel like you belong

00:11:59.660 there and the rest of the group is just going to, is going to bring you up and guess, guess 0.99

00:12:03.640 what your bullshit, your excuses, like you won't even, you won't even say those out loud 0.99

00:12:09.080 with that environment, but to your old circle of friends, well, they're going to enable you. 1.00

00:12:13.080 They're going to say, yeah, you're right. 0.97

00:12:13.900 Your boss is horrible.

00:12:14.740 That business is never going to work.

00:12:16.180 You can never launch a podcast or 600,000.

00:12:18.000 Thousands of those, those are never going to work.

00:12:19.580 And so that's where we have to be very careful with our environments.

00:12:23.460 Yeah, it's true.

00:12:24.360 So, I mean, I've noticed this in my life.

00:12:26.580 Um, I, I used to be a scared, passive, timid little boy, frankly, and it wasn't all that

00:12:34.360 long ago and I would have been afraid to put myself out there.

00:12:37.600 I would have been afraid to get uncomfortable, but I don't know.

00:12:41.900 I don't, I don't know how I've, how I've been able to figure this out for myself, but certainly

00:12:47.220 I'm more comfortable with being uncomfortable.

00:12:49.520 Like I'm, I'm actually deliberately and intentionally looking for opportunities to be uncomfortable

00:12:54.180 because I realized the power that come from those things.

00:12:56.720 So how does one begin to make the shift from, Hey, I want something that's greater.

00:13:00.800 I know it's going to require something more and then actually doing it.

00:13:05.080 I think that's the, the biggest leap to give you a little hat tip to your book here, the

00:13:08.780 leap of your life, right?

00:13:09.800 Good word choice.

00:13:10.980 Yes.

00:13:11.340 Well, I stole it from somebody.

00:13:12.960 I, so it's, it's the biggest, the, the core underlying thing that we have to do is reframe

00:13:20.760 our discomfort, reframe our relationship with fear, reframe our relationship with doubt.

00:13:26.280 And so often, you know, I will still get clients who hit me up and they say, Tommy, I'm, I'm,

00:13:30.700 I'm entering this meeting and I have a knot in my stomach or I just made an offer and now

00:13:34.520 I'm nauseous or I'm experiencing doubt and I'm questioning my path.

00:13:37.840 And I always come back super like, okay, so what?

00:13:42.680 That's exactly what you're supposed to feel when you leave your comfort zone.

00:13:45.800 So I think often we, we have these, you know, to get to a place that we don't find ourselves

00:13:50.820 today, right?

00:13:52.820 Often we, we can focus on that outcome and then we start to step into it and then all

00:13:58.480 of this feedback starts to flare out, right?

00:14:01.020 Doubt, uncertainty, why are you doing this?

00:14:03.220 You're not capable.

00:14:04.680 You tried this in the past and it didn't work.

00:14:06.760 So who do you think it's going to happen again?

00:14:08.320 And it's like, that's not a, that's not a feedback mechanism to go back to where we came

00:14:13.520 from.

00:14:14.360 That's actually proof that you're leaving the confines of your comfort zone and you have

00:14:19.080 to take the next step.

00:14:20.440 Let me, let me interject here, Tommy, for a second, because it could actually be feedback

00:14:24.540 that is designed to keep you safe and secure.

00:14:27.140 And I think there's probably a point where you ought to listen to some of that feedback.

00:14:30.140 Like, how do you find the distinction between what is healthy feedback and that you're doing 0.95

00:14:34.740 something stupid or dangerous and feedback that simply means you're just a little uncomfortable 0.96

00:14:39.660 right now? 1.00

00:14:40.880 No.

00:14:41.020 And that's great.

00:14:41.620 And that has to come from having clarity on where you want to go and who you want to

00:14:47.400 become.

00:14:47.720 And so, or even just like what, what that, what the outcome or target is that you're

00:14:53.220 going after.

00:14:54.240 So that's like, it's, it's a great question because obviously this is not about being

00:14:57.500 irresponsible or putting ourselves in circumstances that are, um, not wise.

00:15:01.780 Right.

00:15:02.220 But if we like, obviously if we, if, but if we know where we want to go and we're feeling

00:15:07.500 the discomfort on our way there, it means we're probably most likely taking the direct

00:15:12.480 path, which is going to get us there.

00:15:13.840 Cause guess what?

00:15:14.300 The direct path at the onset has the highest short-term pain, has the highest short-term

00:15:21.180 discomfort.

00:15:22.000 That's going to lead to the long-term fulfillment and long-term results.

00:15:25.040 But what do most of us do?

00:15:26.400 And including me in the past, we go every shortcut around.

00:15:29.440 We try to go in all 19 different directions around the straightest path.

00:15:33.040 And is it a little bit more comfortable?

00:15:34.300 Yes.

00:15:35.020 But ultimately we miss out on the prize on the other side.

00:15:37.380 So it's a great question.

00:15:38.520 Yeah.

00:15:38.900 I mean, it's funny because a lot of guys will ask me, you know, how do you, how do you

00:15:42.460 have success in this, in this space?

00:15:44.160 Or how do you grow a podcast or any number of things that both of us probably get questions

00:15:47.980 about.

00:15:48.360 And I, and I almost feel bad a little bit because the only advice I can give is you just do

00:15:52.700 it and stay consistent about it.

00:15:54.760 And eventually you turn it into something.

00:15:56.900 It's like, I wish I had something better for people.

00:15:59.440 But that is the honest truth of what it takes.

00:16:01.760 It just takes some intentionality and to your point earlier, commitment on that path and

00:16:07.040 then staying on it as long as you possibly can.

00:16:10.300 Yeah.

00:16:10.460 And I'll just give you a super simple example.

00:16:12.080 So I've written five books in three years, two of them.

00:16:14.760 I just discarded because they were horrible.

00:16:16.740 And so people will say, oh, dude, you're so disciplined and blah, blah, blah.

00:16:20.740 And how do you do it?

00:16:21.900 How do you do it?

00:16:22.440 And I say, I write 500 words every single day, right?

00:16:27.400 I do it on Sundays.

00:16:28.240 I do it when I'm in Mexico.

00:16:29.500 I do it when I have, when I'm sick, I just, if I don't do it, then I lose and I don't want

00:16:36.080 to lose.

00:16:36.420 So I do it every single day.

00:16:38.200 And part of that, a lot of that is getting uncomfortable.

00:16:41.500 I mean, so if I just talk about the latest book, like I'm asking for things makes me

00:16:47.720 uncomfortable.

00:16:48.600 This is like a hardwiring in my stories, things that I've worked with my own coaches about

00:16:52.160 receiving and being open to receive.

00:16:54.460 But I have an area.

00:16:54.920 Are you talking about asking for help from other individuals or what is it that you mean

00:16:59.340 when you say asking for things?

00:17:00.740 I'm great at asking for help, like in a coaching, mentoring relationship, but like, let's just

00:17:04.100 say for the book, like endorsements, right?

00:17:06.080 So when I asked for an endorsement and you're, you're, you're one of the people I asked.

00:17:10.680 There's no real benefit to you to give me an endorsement.

00:17:14.660 It's really like a, like, like it's a, a favor in the most primal sense.

00:17:19.920 It's a, it's, it's consumption, right?

00:17:21.720 More than that, more than production in that case.

00:17:23.880 Exactly.

00:17:24.620 Right.

00:17:24.900 So I, I, you know, I sent out 30 requests to some big name people and people like you

00:17:29.820 and all these other people.

00:17:31.960 And that was really, what number was I in the order of people that you asked though,

00:17:35.460 Tommy?

00:17:35.980 I'm just kidding.

00:17:36.400 Number one, dude.

00:17:37.460 Yeah, sure.

00:17:38.640 Keep going.

00:17:39.280 Sorry.

00:17:39.560 But you did have the longest beard.

00:17:42.280 So that's, I just want you to own that.

00:17:43.420 That makes up for everything else. 0.98

00:17:45.480 But that, so this is a really simple, almost dumb example.

00:17:49.400 But the reason I share it is because that made me really uncomfortable to say, Hey, I

00:17:56.060 did this work.

00:17:57.140 Are you willing to put your name on it and, you know, and endorse it for me for no real

00:18:02.520 benefit on your end.

00:18:04.020 But I knew what I wanted.

00:18:05.600 I had a target.

00:18:06.640 I had a desire.

00:18:07.480 I was clear on that.

00:18:09.120 So I had to get over my own ego.

00:18:11.340 I had to drop that and be willing to say, put myself out there and, Hey, what happens

00:18:16.100 when we put ourselves out there?

00:18:17.200 People said, no, people said, I don't do that, et cetera, et cetera.

00:18:20.120 But guess what?

00:18:20.680 And I have 11 names on here that said, yes, I'll do that.

00:18:24.000 And that's just an example that when we have clarity on where we want to go, we're more

00:18:28.080 likely to get uncomfortable to put ourselves out there to do the work required to get there.

00:18:32.620 And if we don't, then we can't expect to get the result that we wanted.

00:18:37.820 And so to the degree that we're willing to get uncomfortable and now you're doing it,

00:18:41.820 you're living it.

00:18:42.480 And I always say there's two models of growth.

00:18:44.540 There's drifting aimlessly and having really no purpose, no plan.

00:18:49.040 And then what's life going to do?

00:18:50.920 Well, it's going to, it's going to send us wake up calls, small ones, small ones, and

00:18:55.080 they're going to grow and they're going to grow and they're going to grow until it's

00:18:57.240 a crisis moment.

00:18:58.540 And then we get a chance to change.

00:18:59.640 I know you and Kip talked about this on a recent Ask Me Anything about three of your

00:19:05.100 biggest moments that created change.

00:19:07.220 But then there's the other path, the path that it seems like you're on now and that

00:19:10.400 I'm on, which is, okay, we're going to choose growth every single day by getting uncomfortable

00:19:14.720 because we have a direction, a sense of where we're going.

00:19:17.760 And we know that the straightest path to make that happen, not only from a results component,

00:19:21.680 because that's just 50% of the equation, but from a fulfillment, like who am I?

00:19:25.780 Like the confidence that, that, that, that person that actually commits to something and

00:19:30.300 follows through, you know, I'm going to, I'm going to choose to get uncomfortable.

00:19:33.800 And it doesn't mean that the storms of life aren't going to come, but when they come, guess

00:19:37.460 what?

00:19:38.340 We're equipped to handle them because we've chosen to get uncomfortable for the last seven

00:19:41.880 years and this new crisis, well, we step into it and we're like, you know what?

00:19:45.760 I got this.

00:19:47.320 Yeah, it's a great point.

00:19:48.520 I mean, things are going to happen.

00:19:49.780 Crappy situations are going to happen, whether you want them to or not, and whether you're

00:19:53.800 intentional and deliberate about that growth or not.

00:19:56.920 So you might as well get yourself out ahead of the curve.

00:19:59.760 That's what I think, you know, this afternoon I was telling my wife that when we're done

00:20:02.720 with our conversation here, that I'm going to go run and then I'm going to work out and

00:20:05.900 then I'm going to shoot my bow.

00:20:07.300 I like shooting my bow, but the other stuff I don't particularly enjoy, but I voluntarily 0.68

00:20:12.740 thrust myself into that situation because I know that I'll be a better human being when

00:20:17.040 I do.

00:20:17.500 And I know I'll be more capable.

00:20:18.860 If I get into a car wreck and need to lift the hood of my car off my wife, well, I'm 1.00

00:20:25.080 more capable of being able to do that because I voluntarily suffered earlier in preparation

00:20:33.700 or anticipation for some of these unforeseen events happening.

00:20:37.740 Yeah.

00:20:37.920 And if you want to build real world confidence, not bravado, not hype on the external, but like

00:20:42.920 a deep rooted confidence of like, I got this, then that's what you do.

00:20:48.260 You put yourself out there, you learn, you're willing to drop the ego, you're willing to

00:20:52.260 get messy and that's going to build that confidence.

00:20:55.720 And to me, there's, there's no, there's no system, there's no program that you can do

00:21:00.440 to create that confidence.

00:21:01.760 You have to choose it and you choose it by getting uncomfortable today, knowing there's

00:21:04.940 a payoff on the other side.

00:21:06.840 So we're going to break down more of the concepts and ideas in your book.

00:21:10.260 It's called the leap of your life.

00:21:12.040 But one of the things I thought about is I knew we're going to have this conversation is

00:21:15.200 how does somebody begin to work towards that leap?

00:21:18.660 And we'll talk about what that means.

00:21:20.500 If they don't have any track record from which to draw upon, for example, in my life, if for

00:21:27.300 whatever reason I decided, you know what, I don't want to do order a man anymore. 1.00

00:21:30.980 I want to start a new podcast or write a different book or have a different conversation.

00:21:35.480 I have faith knowing that I can do that because I can draw upon my experience over the past four

00:21:40.040 years in doing that.

00:21:40.820 But I think there's a lot of guys out there who feel like they don't have any business

00:21:45.000 doing something because they can't find a perspective or an experience on which to draw

00:21:51.440 upon in order to give them some faith to be able to make that leap that they're attempting

00:21:56.400 to.

00:21:57.280 No, and I love that.

00:21:57.900 I love that you said the word faith.

00:21:59.500 And to me, I get this all the time.

00:22:01.360 And just because we haven't done something, it doesn't become an obstacle.

00:22:07.720 It only becomes an obstacle if we let it.

00:22:10.620 And what I do with people is that I say, okay, let's go back to the past and we're going

00:22:17.240 to find some proof and we're going to look at the ingredients of what you're looking to

00:22:20.860 create.

00:22:21.060 So let's just say somebody wanted to create a podcast or something.

00:22:24.280 They've never done it.

00:22:25.540 They didn't really have experience teaching people or with content.

00:22:28.640 Well, I would just go back into their past by asking some questions and say, okay, let's

00:22:33.220 find some proof of similar circumstances where you were able to communicate effectively,

00:22:40.360 where you're able to engage in conflict that ended in a resolution, where you're able to

00:22:46.140 teach something, something that they didn't know and they applied it.

00:22:49.320 And so we start looking and we start looking, we start looking, we start accumulating and

00:22:53.380 that creates some belief and that creates some momentum.

00:22:56.080 Because so often we look at our past and we say, we only look at the negative things about

00:23:00.120 it.

00:23:00.680 And so to me, we have to start from a foundation of like, okay, you may not have that exact

00:23:04.620 thing that you want to create now or in the future, but there's some ingredients of your

00:23:08.940 past where you were capable, where you showed up, where you did the work, where you were

00:23:12.760 consistent.

00:23:13.780 Let's identify what those are and let's see how we can apply those to your new project.

00:23:18.620 And when you combine a little bit of that with a lot of faith, because that's what really

00:23:23.040 it's going to take and a lot of resilience, that to me is a sweet spot for traction, for

00:23:28.040 clarity, for momentum and ultimately results.

00:23:30.120 What are some common ingredients that you've been able to allow people or at least enlighten

00:23:36.260 people on which to draw upon for, you know, for future growth?

00:23:41.240 Yeah, I mean, absolutely.

00:23:42.240 I really just look back and I help people look at some of their, some of their biggest wins,

00:23:47.420 some of the moments where they, they didn't know how it was going to turn out.

00:23:50.940 And, or, you know, some of the moments where they, you know, exemplified high degrees of

00:23:55.280 courage, right?

00:23:56.720 Putting themselves out there without knowing what was going to happen, right?

00:23:59.880 We look back at some of their, their, their greatest moments, their greatest victories.

00:24:04.020 Um, you know, the, the times where they were full of fear and they did it anyway.

00:24:07.440 And we, in almost every case we see, wow, okay, I actually, I feel much more capable now that

00:24:14.120 I'm reminding myself, I'm feel much more capable.

00:24:16.600 And obviously like the new book is about making bold decisions, overcoming fear, right?

00:24:23.760 In, in stepping into our courage, even when we don't feel capable.

00:24:27.520 And so we have to remind ourselves of those similar ingredients in the past.

00:24:32.500 I mean, we all have them.

00:24:33.580 If we look closely enough, you know, when I was in physical training, people will say,

00:24:37.000 well, you know, I haven't done anything in 10 years.

00:24:38.780 I have no idea where to start.

00:24:40.480 And we would replay the tapes and I'd go back to the time in their life where, uh, in, in

00:24:46.020 physicality, where they experienced results.

00:24:47.840 Now somebody may say, Tommy, I never experienced results in my physicality.

00:24:51.380 Okay.

00:24:51.700 Then that's fine.

00:24:52.340 Cause I worked with some, some, you know, some big time executives.

00:24:55.180 And I'd say, okay, well, maybe you weren't an athlete in your business.

00:25:00.620 When was the last time that you made a courageous decision?

00:25:04.120 When was the last time you took on a project that you didn't have all the answers for,

00:25:06.900 but you figured it out and they'll just rattle off.

00:25:09.160 And I'll say, okay, that has the ingredients that's going to help you with your physical

00:25:13.000 transformation.

00:25:13.900 And just like you teach Ryan with all the four or five areas of life, they're constantly

00:25:17.960 connected and we can learn holistically.

00:25:20.580 And just because we don't have it in our physicality doesn't mean that we didn't

00:25:24.920 show it in our ability to lead a family or just because we don't have it in our business

00:25:30.280 right now doesn't mean that we didn't show it, you know, in our ability to connect spiritually.

00:25:36.440 I mean, there's always lessons and there's always proof.

00:25:38.820 The question is, are you focusing on what you don't have or what you're focusing on what

00:25:42.840 you have done and the moments that you did follow through?

00:25:45.380 I actually think this goes back really well to environment because one of the things I've

00:25:49.580 been really conscious of over the past several months is blocking and banning people on my

00:25:54.840 social media profiles.

00:25:56.060 That's awesome, man.

00:25:56.980 And it's not when people disagree with me.

00:25:59.520 Some people say that, oh, I disagreed.

00:26:01.020 So you blocked.

00:26:01.540 No, that's not why I block people.

00:26:03.840 I block people for being a-holes about how they disagree with me or being overly critical

00:26:09.780 of the work that I'm doing or just not being on the same page.

00:26:12.680 And I've thought about that.

00:26:13.780 I'm like, you know, in some context, having a differing viewpoint and a differing perspective

00:26:18.400 is very valuable, but I'm so cautious these days about allowing any of that into my space

00:26:24.340 because it's so prevalent.

00:26:27.460 Everywhere I turn, there is someone who wants to critique or mock or belittle or put me down

00:26:34.300 or put the movement down that I've just been so quick to eliminate that from my life and

00:26:39.460 really choose to focus on the people who uplift me, who edify me, who support what I'm doing.

00:26:45.160 And the threat there is that you could potentially create a bit of an echo chamber,

00:26:49.740 but I think it's significantly better than allowing toxic people to come into your life

00:26:56.120 and destroy your well-being and your sanity and your positivity that you're trying to create.

00:27:04.640 Well, you have clarity on your mission, and if you were to succumb to all of that noise,

00:27:11.160 it's going to distract you from the main objective.

00:27:14.380 And then when you come on a podcast, when you work with the Iron Council and all of the stuff

00:27:17.920 that you do, all the amazing things that you're doing, you've leaked a lot of your clarity,

00:27:22.580 a lot of your power, a lot of your leadership capabilities by focusing on the wrong people.

00:27:27.180 And I'm the same way.

00:27:28.760 I am so excited to have conversations with people that wholeheartedly disagree with me.

00:27:34.440 But guess where?

00:27:35.240 I'm not having them.

00:27:36.200 I'm not having that on Instagram.

00:27:38.320 Right.

00:27:38.760 Right?

00:27:39.060 Like if we sit down at a dinner, I'm all in for having a powerful conversation where we

00:27:45.180 can be on radically different sides.

00:27:47.200 Why?

00:27:47.660 Because I'm going to be able to look you in the eye and I'm going to learn something that

00:27:49.860 I didn't know before and you might open up my perspective and I hope I can do the same.

00:27:53.160 But to spread our energy, you know, so often we, you know, we give our, our, our highest

00:27:59.820 energy, our highest clarity.

00:28:01.400 This is like, I say this with morning routines, like do your morning routine, but do it for

00:28:06.180 a reason.

00:28:07.000 Like don't do your morning routine and then go on Instagram, do your morning routine to

00:28:11.660 access a level of power and clarity and then make that bold decision in your business or

00:28:16.580 make that move that you have to make.

00:28:18.660 That's going to be something productive and worthwhile.

00:28:21.000 But so often what do we do?

00:28:22.200 We do the opposite.

00:28:24.120 We give all the noise, our highest cognition, our highest energy.

00:28:28.680 And then who gets the scraps?

00:28:30.420 Well, many times it's the people closest to us or even ourselves at the end of the day.

00:28:34.340 And so those small noises, like the things that you're doing with blocking, like they're

00:28:39.160 small, but those add up.

00:28:41.080 And at the end of the day, you could be in a state of like, I've been there, right?

00:28:43.840 Where you're just like, you're triggered, you're burned out, you're exhausted.

00:28:47.000 And you're like, why?

00:28:48.080 Because I paid attention to these people.

00:28:50.680 Well, you know, a few months ago, someone wrote like a scathing Amazon review, which

00:28:54.700 was it was deleted by Amazon because it was very close to hate speech and whatever it

00:28:58.100 is for your book or.

00:29:00.740 Yeah.

00:29:00.880 For one of my books.

00:29:01.520 Yeah.

00:29:01.740 Interesting.

00:29:02.180 Okay.

00:29:02.740 Yeah.

00:29:02.900 And then they and then they reposted it on their blog.

00:29:05.220 And I was about to go on a podcast, like 10 minutes, you know, and I saw it and I immediately

00:29:09.820 went into fight or flight.

00:29:11.240 Of course.

00:29:11.800 Yeah, of course.

00:29:12.480 Especially because this was like the worst thing that I've ever, I've ever seen in my

00:29:15.560 life.

00:29:16.280 And, um, and it was like a 700 word essay about it.

00:29:19.280 Oh, geez.

00:29:20.240 But, but because I've grown so much, this was, this is much more powerful to me than anything

00:29:27.020 in the bank account or any external results or any amazing book or anything like that.

00:29:30.680 It was my biggest marker of growth.

00:29:32.300 So I'm sitting there in the studio, my audio engineers, there is Nick and he's like saying

00:29:35.700 something and I'm in that fight or flight where it's like, you're not listening to anything.

00:29:38.280 You're just like, what the hell's going on?

00:29:39.740 My heart rate started to go up.

00:29:41.260 I'm like ready to fight.

00:29:42.900 And then as quickly as it came, as quickly as it dissipated and it literally just melted

00:29:49.300 off of me.

00:29:49.940 How did you get to that point though?

00:29:52.540 I think having so many times where I let stuff like that derail me because I wasn't clear.

00:29:59.000 I wasn't clear on knowing who I am.

00:30:00.860 I wasn't clear on where I'm going.

00:30:02.640 I hadn't done that, that messy work to get that clarity.

00:30:06.700 And so when somebody would say something like that about me, there'd be a part of me that

00:30:11.060 would latch onto it and either want to, uh, if I was triggered to like, you know, fight

00:30:16.500 back in some capacity or defend myself or to read it and like, and have it impact my

00:30:22.060 whole day.

00:30:22.600 Like literally I like my whole day would be impacted or a few hours and opportunity cost

00:30:27.740 is a lot for you and I, a half day, a full day, even a couple hours is a lot.

00:30:32.180 And so in that moment, I knew that I knew what my mission was.

00:30:35.220 I was clear about who I, who I am.

00:30:38.020 And I also had a commitment 10 minutes away and I didn't really constantly think about

00:30:43.480 that.

00:30:43.680 But in retrospect, I had a commitment to show up on a podcast and I wasn't going to let

00:30:48.360 some stranger out there, someone who's just like spewing hate, um, distract me from

00:30:54.800 that.

00:30:55.800 And it was one of my biggest signs of growth.

00:30:57.540 And so for anybody out there, pay attention to those small things.

00:31:01.320 It could be a passive aggressive comments, uh, from a coworker.

00:31:05.220 It could be something on Facebook where it's like, you're having this back and forth and

00:31:08.480 you're in fight or flight and you keep checking Facebook to see if they answered it.

00:31:11.180 They didn't answer like you and I know mutual people who are constantly doing this.

00:31:15.580 And in my mind, it's like, dude, what are you doing right now?

00:31:18.140 Right, right, right.

00:31:19.420 And I always, the, the, the, the less, I have something called the pain of untapped potential.

00:31:26.320 And it's when we know we have something inside of us that we were meant for more, but we're

00:31:29.500 not doing it.

00:31:30.420 And I know in my life, I sought out much more distraction, much more of what we're talking

00:31:35.620 about when the pain of untapped of that untapped potential was high.

00:31:39.320 There was like a, it was like a direct correlation, right?

00:31:42.220 The more distraction, the more noise, the more, uh, all of that stuff, the, the less

00:31:47.900 that I was actually living a life that I wanted.

00:31:50.180 When we inverse that, there's like no space left for that.

00:31:53.640 And that's the place that we want to get to.

00:31:55.560 That's the place where we're feeling in momentum and we're feeling supported and we're not

00:31:59.660 wasting our energy on distractions that don't serve us.

00:32:03.320 That's a good point.

00:32:04.000 I know there's been a lot of instances on social media, uh, where I have engaged to against

00:32:10.200 my better judgment.

00:32:10.900 And there's also been moments where I've typed something up and then before hitting post

00:32:17.520 or send, I just delete it and move on.

00:32:21.060 You know, it's like, what are you doing?

00:32:23.000 You know, this is, this is not to, to your point about clarity, this is not moving you

00:32:28.100 to where you want to be.

00:32:29.580 It's actually expanding the distance between where you are and where you want to go.

00:32:34.180 Yes.

00:32:35.140 But that requires, like you said, the level of, of clarity.

00:32:38.800 And what you said is you use the phrase, the messy work of clarity.

00:32:43.200 I think there's a lot of guys out there who are listening to this on their drive to work,

00:32:46.920 for example, right now.

00:32:47.960 And they know that they're not where they want to be.

00:32:53.180 They know that they're meant for something more, which is something you said.

00:32:57.340 And yet they have no freaking idea of how to start quantifying this and giving it some,

00:33:06.240 some legs, if you will.

00:33:07.580 How do you begin this process of the messy work of clarity?

00:33:10.240 No, I love that.

00:33:11.620 And it starts with something that you're, you're well versed in and it's taking non-emotional

00:33:18.020 inventory of where we find ourselves today.

00:33:21.100 And I know it sounds so rudimentary and so basic, but so often we want to go places, but

00:33:26.060 we're not willing to look in the mirror.

00:33:27.480 And when I say look in the mirror, it's not about judgment and critique and putting ourselves

00:33:31.220 down because we do that too much, but it's around.

00:33:33.240 And I call this to have, to have an approach of like an autopsy.

00:33:37.320 And all I mean by that is that like somebody who performs an autopsy, they have no emotional

00:33:41.160 connection with the person.

00:33:42.380 So they're able to do their job.

00:33:43.900 They're able to look at exactly what happened, how it happened.

00:33:46.580 And we have to do the same at some point with our lives.

00:33:49.360 And it means taking a moment and saying, and using your stuff, like the four areas of life

00:33:53.380 and taking a step back and looking at our physicality, look at our business or career,

00:33:57.680 look at our relationships, looking at our spiritual connection and, and really just taking

00:34:02.540 non-emotional inventory about where we find ourselves today.

00:34:05.300 And if we don't like it, great, right?

00:34:08.240 And if some things are working, well, where can we double down?

00:34:10.820 But on the things that we don't like, we just take non-emotional inventory and then we

00:34:15.820 ask ourselves a question.

00:34:17.760 What, what would be something that would excite me in this, it, in this area of my life?

00:34:22.340 What is something that I do want in this area of my life?

00:34:25.000 Now I'm very cautious with this, Ryan, because I made a lot of mistakes and I like to separate

00:34:29.220 people, people's lives into three buckets and it's very generic, but it, it

00:34:32.440 helps to have this context, which is, um, we can either be in a state of survival, which

00:34:38.820 is, uh, we're just trying to make it through the day.

00:34:40.780 We're just trying to make it through the week.

00:34:42.260 Um, this scarcity thinking, if you win, I lose, if I win, you lose, et cetera, et cetera.

00:34:48.100 That's one stage.

00:34:49.020 The second is just comfort.

00:34:50.600 So we're no longer in this crazy state of like running around, putting out fires, but

00:34:55.180 there's nothing on the horizon that's exciting us.

00:34:57.580 There's nothing like life doesn't have a lot of color anymore.

00:35:00.520 We're not seeking the challenge.

00:35:02.420 Like I said earlier, we're, we're in a state of drifting and we feel very stuck.

00:35:05.980 This is the stage that most people find themselves in.

00:35:08.560 And then there's what I call a stage of thriving, um, which is, I believe everybody's capable

00:35:13.500 of, um, because we've all been there.

00:35:15.440 When I do this exercise with people, we all identify moments in their life when they were

00:35:18.500 thriving.

00:35:19.380 And if you've been there once, you can get there again.

00:35:21.280 And thriving is a place where, um, you seek the challenge where you may not be exactly

00:35:27.420 where you want to be, but you look at the horizon with excitement, right?

00:35:32.080 And so I would do the exercise.

00:35:34.360 I would look at the four areas of life and ask yourself a question.

00:35:37.220 Are you just trying to make it by, try to make it through the day, just barely surviving?

00:35:41.640 Are you in a state of comfort or are you in a state of thriving?

00:35:45.800 And once you do that by taking non-emotional inventory, then you ask yourself a simple

00:35:51.620 question, what is one thing that I could do today, not tomorrow, not next week, that's

00:35:58.040 going to put me in a, that's going to at least create the possibility for me to go to

00:36:02.040 the next stage or to create some clarity or some momentum.

00:36:05.480 And that's really how I simplify it because we can get so overwhelmed.

00:36:09.400 And in my space, Ryan, you know this, like there's so much overwhelm and people are already

00:36:14.260 so busy and have so much going on, but if we can just take a step back, get radically

00:36:18.900 honest and then take one step, I don't know, it sounds super simple, but it's going to take

00:36:23.160 that one step to create that momentum.

00:36:25.680 Then we can start creating the change that we're looking for.

00:36:29.240 Well, and it's not even overwhelm.

00:36:30.480 I mean, that that's part of it.

00:36:31.520 It's not only overwhelm.

00:36:33.220 It's also comparison trap.

00:36:35.960 Yes.

00:36:36.240 I know this is something I'm, I'm really guilty of in my life is that I will look at what

00:36:40.660 you're doing or what somebody else is doing.

00:36:43.060 And I think because I'm not to that level, that it's not even worth me starting, right?

00:36:48.960 Because I have to take one step, except for you are five miles out ahead of me.

00:36:53.700 It's like, I'm never going to catch up to you.

00:36:56.160 But ultimately that's, is that really even the point?

00:36:59.500 Is that really even the purpose?

00:37:00.880 I mean, we, we compare ourselves to so many people.

00:37:03.440 I had a guy in our Facebook group said that he was going to go on a rite of passage and

00:37:06.440 he was going to do this, this thing.

00:37:08.160 I don't want to call him out, but he was going to do this thing.

00:37:10.660 And I had to question like, why?

00:37:13.540 Cause he heard somebody on the podcast say that they were doing something and he thought,

00:37:17.640 well, that's how you do it.

00:37:19.300 I said, no, the reason they did that is because they had a very clear why and a sense of direction

00:37:23.340 and purpose for that thing, for that activity.

00:37:26.040 But without that, it's, it's, it's pointless.

00:37:29.720 You know, we follow these guys and we say, well, we have to do their morning routine and

00:37:32.560 we have to wake up what time they wake up and we have to write a book like they wrote

00:37:35.900 a book and we have to do the podcast intro the way they did a podcast intro and our Instagram

00:37:39.940 profiles need to look like this person's Instagram profile.

00:37:42.900 It's like, we're constantly comparing ourselves to other people and we're inhibiting our progress

00:37:47.960 because we can't get as far as we'd like to on the first step.

00:37:52.680 Exactly.

00:37:53.160 And we lose our belief.

00:37:54.400 We lose our capability.

00:37:55.280 And that's such a great point.

00:37:56.220 And that's the other part of clarity.

00:37:57.640 What do you actually really want for yourself?

00:37:59.900 And just like you said, we use so many external markers of comparison that we can be very clouded.

00:38:06.200 We can believe we know we want, but we don't really.

00:38:08.440 And I love the point that you made about comparison, another sign of my growth.

00:38:12.420 And I'll just be so, you know, honest with you.

00:38:14.660 When you hit 10 million, dude, I was so pumped for you, pumped, excited.

00:38:20.740 And like two years ago, if I had seen that, guess what I would have said?

00:38:27.220 Where am I missing something?

00:38:29.340 Why am I, I'm on the brink of 2 million.

00:38:31.180 So why am I, why am I only at 20% of where Ryan is?

00:38:34.540 Yeah, yeah.

00:38:35.360 Like, what does that say about me?

00:38:36.780 Maybe I'm not capable.

00:38:37.760 It's destructive, man.

00:38:38.400 Dude, yeah.

00:38:39.340 And that's like, and again, that was another big sign of my growth to like see someone dominating the,

00:38:44.680 someone that I know dominating the podcast space and me being like generally like, that is so cool.

00:38:50.100 And instead of thinking about how far I have to go, that I have 82% to go, I was like, actually, what can I,

00:38:57.120 it's been a while since I tuned in, like I should tune in.

00:39:00.180 And like, what can I actually learn from that?

00:39:02.640 Is there something that Ryan's doing that I couldn't, but not from a place of like, I need to get there.

00:39:06.420 But like, that's inspiring, man.

00:39:08.340 Cause I've, I've seen you go from zero to one to two and not to 10.

00:39:13.560 And so again, it's a battle.

00:39:16.220 And if, maybe if you caught me in a really low emotional state that day on like not a lot of sleep and I saw the 10 and I had a client just bail or whatever,

00:39:24.780 like maybe I would have been like, oh damn, like that says something about me.

00:39:29.340 Sure. 0.98

00:39:29.720 But we got to know ourselves, right?

00:39:31.420 And that's the worst part that if something external stops us from taking the next step.

00:39:36.040 And this is where most people, again, this is where most of us tend to get stuck and spend a lot of time.

00:39:41.460 And when I went through the three phases of life, which are survival, comfort, and thriving, you know, which is the hardest one to get out of?

00:39:50.000 It's comfort.

00:39:51.440 Right.

00:39:51.520 I mean, survival, you're, you're rock bottom.

00:39:53.360 You know, you have to get out of that comfort.

00:39:55.040 It's like, eh, I'm, I'm good.

00:39:56.540 I'm okay.

00:39:56.900 Hey, I'm coasting.

00:39:58.020 Exactly.

00:39:58.520 And survival, there's so much urgency that you can't help, but get out.

00:40:02.260 Right.

00:40:02.680 With comfort, there's no urgency.

00:40:04.800 There's nothing on the horizon.

00:40:06.560 And that we can, you know, people can anchor themselves there for, for decades or their entire lives.

00:40:13.320 Gents, let me hit the pause button real quick.

00:40:15.520 This morning I was walking around in my yard and I noticed several weeds in my grass that they actually looked like grass, but they weren't.

00:40:22.760 They were weeds attempting to infiltrate my yard.

00:40:25.320 So I did what any good steward over his yard would do.

00:40:28.500 I picked them from the ground and I threw them away.

00:40:31.040 Now I share this with you because life is often very much the same way.

00:40:35.700 And like the weeds that I picked this morning, it's critical that we learn to recognize and remove any weeds from our life.

00:40:42.700 And equally important is then replacing that void with what we actually want to grow.

00:40:49.020 And that's where our exclusive brotherhood, the iron council comes in.

00:40:52.860 We've created an environment, a framework, a foundation designed to shape and grow men. 0.93

00:40:59.940 So we work collectively to hold each other to the highest possible standards and then accomplish big things in our lives.

00:41:06.120 And when you band with us, you know that you are tapping into a band of brothers that will foster the powerful growth and changes that you want to see in your life.

00:41:16.020 So if you're ready to do that, if you're ready to eliminate the weeds that are infiltrating your life and replace them with the good seeds, with the thing that you actually want to grow, this is a powerful, powerful way to do that.

00:41:29.120 You can learn more and lock in your spot at orderofman.com slash iron council.

00:41:34.040 Again, that's orderofman.com slash iron council.

00:41:37.240 You can do that after the show.

00:41:38.360 For now, let's get back to my conversation with Tommy.

00:41:42.500 It's interesting as I hear you talk about this, especially with this comparison idea, is I really think that comparison is a symptom, maybe is the right word, of the pain of untapped potential.

00:41:55.560 In a way that you are magnifying that pain.

00:41:59.160 When I see you thrive, if I'm not doing what I know I should be doing to move into my unlimited potential, then you doing something is a significantly greater threat and a little bit more stinging, if you will, to me.

00:42:12.840 Now, on the other hand, if I'm not as far along the path as you are, but I'm working towards it, I'm actively taking the steps.

00:42:21.200 I'm actively doing the work, I'm getting clear, I'm taking action, then the pain's not as magnified because I'm working towards my potential and I know what I'm doing.

00:42:32.440 I love that.

00:42:33.240 That's such a powerful distinction, right?

00:42:35.580 Because it can, and maybe the pain isn't even, maybe it's subsided to a place where I'm like, wow, that's actually proof of what I can be capable of creating.

00:42:46.260 It can actually become a catalyst.

00:42:47.980 But you're absolutely right.

00:42:49.880 And this is where attacks come, you know, my scathing attack.

00:42:53.140 Guess what that guy said?

00:42:53.960 One of his statements was, when I write my book, dot, dot, dot.

00:42:58.920 So he was like blasting me and like the people that follow me and this whole, basically our whole niche.

00:43:05.560 And he, but his key statement was when I write my book and I went on this laundry list.

00:43:10.360 And I said, exactly.

00:43:12.320 That's the pain of untapped potential.

00:43:14.360 The guy hadn't done it.

00:43:15.680 He hadn't shipped his own message.

00:43:16.860 And I would love to see his message, even if it's completely opposite of mine, but he's not doing it.

00:43:21.860 And that creates a lot of pain.

00:43:22.940 And what do we do when we're in pain?

00:43:25.040 We're threatened.

00:43:25.920 And when we're threatened, we just have to attack.

00:43:28.380 Because if we don't, then that comes back to us.

00:43:31.540 And when we attack, we actually feel just a little bit better.

00:43:33.820 It just soothes that pain a little bit.

00:43:35.360 Because if I can see Ryan out there and I can attack him, then my pain has subsided for a little while.

00:43:41.640 It's a band-aid that doesn't last until we wake up the next day and we're left with ourselves again.

00:43:48.020 And you're still moving forward.

00:43:49.900 And you didn't stop what you were doing because of a small attack.

00:43:52.640 Well, and it's interesting on the other side of this is how much relevance and credit we give to individuals who aren't doing what it is we want to be doing.

00:44:01.040 It's like, why would I take the critique of an individual who knows nothing about writing a book, who's never put himself out there, who's never been bold enough to share his ideas and allowed those things to be critiqued the way that he's critiquing.

00:44:13.600 And yet we place so much emphasis and weight on that individual's opinion, but they're not doing anything remotely close to what we want to do.

00:44:21.480 It's like, why would somebody who wants to be fit take advice from somebody who's fat?

00:44:26.320 Why would somebody who wants to create a thriving relationship take advice from somebody who's been divorced six times?

00:44:34.100 Why would somebody who wants to build wealth in their life take advice from their broke friends?

00:44:39.440 And yet it's weird, man.

00:44:40.860 We do it all the time without even paying it a second thought.

00:44:45.260 And it's really destructive for our growth.

00:44:47.700 Yes.

00:44:47.920 I just had this conversation with my fiance yesterday.

00:44:51.640 And we were talking about feedback and criticism and all of that stuff.

00:44:57.980 And we came to the conclusion, especially because right now I'm in the middle of a book launch.

00:45:01.760 I'm getting all types of feedback.

00:45:03.120 And one of the things that came up that we spoke about is that we're committed to really – we're open to feedback.

00:45:12.280 But we know when it comes from a specific place.

00:45:14.940 But what you said, the feedback that I'm looking for, that we're looking for with my fiance is with people that are either where we are, but hopefully they're further along.

00:45:27.480 So, I mean, that's the goal.

00:45:29.140 If you want to be somewhere, then you need to look to somebody who is in that place and say, how did you do that?

00:45:34.320 Can you help me along the path?

00:45:36.000 Yes.

00:45:36.480 Or like, hey, that video you shot, that didn't seem congruent with where you are.

00:45:42.840 And then that to me, the value of that feedback is priceless.

00:45:47.420 But the other feedback is just like you said, so just because I'm in the book, when I released the cover, the subtitle is How to Redefine Risk, Quit Waiting for Someday, and Live Boldly.

00:45:59.960 I got a text from someone who I've only known from online.

00:46:02.340 Don't ask me why I had their number.

00:46:04.640 And they said, this is the worst subtitle.

00:46:06.540 I don't relate to this.

00:46:07.580 I don't care about redefining risk.

00:46:09.360 You're going to miss all your audience.

00:46:10.820 Here's your new subtitle.

00:46:12.720 And I was like, okay.

00:46:14.340 Okay.

00:46:15.500 Unsolicited advice.

00:46:16.380 Yes, you've never written a book.

00:46:18.440 You're someone who has said over and over that they're going to do these big things and never comes to life.

00:46:23.380 And so that feedback literally just went through one ear and out the other.

00:46:27.460 And also, just mind you, you can't just go to your traditional publisher and say, hey, I'm getting rid of this subtitle.

00:46:33.900 But it's an example, and I've gotten feedback throughout this process from people who, you know, have written seven New York Times bestsellers.

00:46:43.260 Okay.

00:46:43.800 Right.

00:46:44.340 Hey, I think this was.

00:46:45.640 That's credible.

00:46:46.880 Yes.

00:46:47.320 And it's so, so valuable.

00:46:49.800 Why?

00:46:50.060 Because it collapses the time for us to get better at the skills that we've identified are important for our career.

00:46:57.200 Right.

00:46:57.600 And it collapses the time of, hey, if I get feedback from someone who's been there seven times, you know, on my next project, on my next post, on my next blog, on my next whatever, I'm going to start putting that in now.

00:47:10.740 So it collapses the time between skill acquisition, but also the outcome that we want to create.

00:47:16.460 How can we start interjecting that today?

00:47:18.720 Yeah, it's interesting.

00:47:19.520 Yesterday, I took my two oldest boys and we went and explored these caves.

00:47:24.260 I've never been there before.

00:47:25.240 So we went out, I took him out of school and we went to these caves and I went with a buddy who's been there before.

00:47:30.520 And as we were crawling around in these caves and there was points where we needed to actually belly crawl to get to the next little chamber, I guess is the term you'd use.

00:47:38.340 And, and there was paths that I saw.

00:47:40.520 I'm like, oh, this is the right way.

00:47:41.860 And he's like, no, no, no.

00:47:42.440 Now it's, it's, it's this way.

00:47:43.860 Now I could have been arrogant and said, no, no, no, it's this.

00:47:48.260 I can see it.

00:47:48.840 It's this way, except for I've never been down there before.

00:47:52.700 So would I have found my way out?

00:47:54.540 Yeah, probably.

00:47:55.260 Or I might've died in there if I hadn't followed the advice of somebody who's been there before.

00:48:00.180 But even though I may not have seen the path as clearly, I was willing to drop the ego and the arrogance and follow him because I knew that he had seen the way I knew he had gone before.

00:48:10.760 And we followed his path and we successfully navigated the caves and we had a great time and came out and it was an enjoyable experience because I followed somebody that had done it before, not was so arrogant and prideful to do it my own way.

00:48:26.420 Exactly.

00:48:26.760 And you got the result that you wanted because of that.

00:48:29.480 An amazing experience with the kids and all of that stuff.

00:48:32.040 And, and, and if you hadn't, right, then you wouldn't have gotten that result.

00:48:36.860 Yeah, for sure.

00:48:38.100 And again, the ego gets in the way of so much.

00:48:40.160 So be very, you know, uh, Brene Brown or I think it's her, she says, you know, and this

00:48:45.940 might be a quote from somebody else, but you know, when you're in the arena, be very careful

00:48:50.560 about taking advice from the person chugging a beer and nachos in section four 19.

00:48:57.060 Yeah.

00:48:57.720 Because from their perspective, you know, that wide receiver that drops the pass, they're

00:49:03.360 the person that says, Oh, I could have caught that.

00:49:05.400 Oh, you're too slow. 1.00

00:49:06.320 Oh, you suck. 1.00

00:49:07.980 But when you're in the arena, when you're in the field and you had a 276 pound linebacker 1.00

00:49:13.160 about to chop your head off, it's a different vantage point.

00:49:16.800 Completely different. 0.86

00:49:17.780 And so if you're in the arena of life and all I mean by that, it's obviously a metaphor

00:49:21.540 for Theodore Roosevelt's arena quote.

00:49:23.820 Sure.

00:49:24.120 Um, which I like to read every day, but if you're in the arena of life and for somebody

00:49:27.400 out there listening, all that means is that you're choosing growth.

00:49:30.620 You're, you're in the arena.

00:49:31.640 If you're listening to this, by the way, um, just be very careful with that external feedback

00:49:36.540 because what happens, we have a business idea.

00:49:39.100 We have something that we want to create.

00:49:40.400 And if we share it with the people in the stands of four 19, they're going to tell us that

00:49:46.020 it's not possible, that it's not capable, that the market is saturated.

00:49:48.940 And guess what?

00:49:50.640 We already have some, some, you know, our inner critic has some doubts already about

00:49:55.060 any bold project or any bold idea that we want to take on.

00:49:58.080 And so when we listen to the people in four 19, they reaffirm what's already inside.

00:50:03.600 And then we take everything at face value.

00:50:06.480 Whereas if you're with the people in the arena, they're going to say, you know, and this is

00:50:09.960 how I know I'm with the right people around.

00:50:11.260 When I say I have a book project or something that I'm launching, they'll say, awesome.

00:50:15.820 By when, when is it going to be done?

00:50:18.000 Yeah, hold me accountable a little bit.

00:50:20.000 And sometimes they're like, Hey, do you really think you need six months to make that happen?

00:50:25.320 And it's like, that's what I want.

00:50:27.640 Those are the people that are going to hold you to your standard of excellence that are

00:50:32.960 not going to let you off the hook, that aren't just going to buy your excuses that you, there

00:50:36.820 wasn't enough time or the market was saturated on that.

00:50:39.020 They're going to say, dude, Ryan, I, I respect you, man.

00:50:41.840 I see the skill that you have and the value that you have.

00:50:46.220 So you're playing small right now.

00:50:47.880 Right.

00:50:48.780 And if you're in a growth mindset, you actually really appreciate that.

00:50:52.140 So I want to challenge something you said, you said you're, you're, you're in the arena.

00:50:56.040 If you're listening to this, that's what I want to challenge.

00:50:57.920 I don't think that's the case.

00:50:59.180 I think that you've bought a ticket to entry and you're observing right now, which is good.

00:51:04.280 Like you have to observe at some point.

00:51:05.900 Like, okay, but I look, if you're not, if you're not in the game, meaning taking action,

00:51:11.260 because here's what a lot of people will do.

00:51:12.640 And I know this because that when I make a post about here's 10 people you should follow,

00:51:17.940 or here's 15 books you should read.

00:51:21.300 Like those are my most popular posts.

00:51:23.120 It's because we are in this perpetual state of information gathering.

00:51:27.940 And to me, I'm like, you're not in the arena when you're gathering information, you might be

00:51:31.440 studying.

00:51:32.580 It's good.

00:51:33.240 There's value in it.

00:51:34.040 I'm not saying that, but I'm saying get in the game, man.

00:51:37.420 Like start taking some action, start moving towards what it is that you want to accomplish.

00:51:41.900 At some point it's enough information gathering and you got to get yourself in there and get

00:51:46.620 banged up a little bit.

00:51:47.820 No, I, I do.

00:51:49.080 I do like that distinction.

00:51:50.500 And I do agree with you.

00:51:51.980 Just sometimes I have to remind people like, yes, we can be caught in a state of information

00:51:57.180 gathering.

00:51:58.280 I do also want to remind people.

00:52:00.140 So the reason I say this is because, and don't rest on these laurels.

00:52:03.900 It doesn't mean to go seek more information or spend more time waiting, but in the grand

00:52:09.420 scheme of things, and this is something I have to remind myself to Ryan in our spaces,

00:52:13.480 like we can live in this bubble where it's like, we're constantly talking about commitment

00:52:17.980 and results and growth and leaning on the edge and doing the hard thing.

00:52:21.540 And that's all that's like, that's, you know, for me, most of my conversations are about

00:52:25.980 that.

00:52:26.220 If I go through my phone, 10 out of 10 conversations are empowering, they're, they're powerful,

00:52:30.500 they're et cetera, et cetera.

00:52:32.360 But if we step back and we look at the 200 or 300 million people in this country, you know,

00:52:37.280 whatever, most people, most people, and I would say 90% are not willing to invest one

00:52:46.020 hour of their time in this conversation.

00:52:49.160 So I completely agree.

00:52:50.700 Yeah, I can see that.

00:52:51.560 Sure.

00:52:51.780 Yeah.

00:52:51.920 I just want to remind people that because that is a win.

00:52:54.720 Now I'm not saying, please do not stop there because you're not honoring yourself.

00:52:59.260 You're not honoring, you know, Ryan's message or even mine.

00:53:02.720 If you just stop here and most importantly yourself, you know, it's not about us, but right.

00:53:06.480 Right.

00:53:06.680 If you just, if you just stay there and you don't actually get in the game, then what's

00:53:11.380 the point?

00:53:11.680 So I completely agree with you.

00:53:12.980 And that's, and that's a really good reminder that every day we got to take a step in the arena.

00:53:18.400 Every single day.

00:53:19.780 And if we do that, if you do that, like the greatest motivational force is not checking

00:53:27.000 Instagram and seeing what Ryan is doing or Jocko or me or some of the amazing guests that

00:53:31.580 you've had.

00:53:32.800 It's, dude, I made a little bit of progress today, Ryan and Tommy.

00:53:35.780 I had that conversation with my boss about the transition.

00:53:39.200 I clicked record on the platform that I want to create.

00:53:42.240 I actually asked my wife how I'm doing.

00:53:46.320 And we had this powerful conversation about where we are and where we want to go.

00:53:50.520 Yes.

00:53:50.600 And if you can accumulate enough of those, like that's when we build that momentum.

00:53:55.140 Yeah.

00:53:55.300 So one of the things, you know, I get these messages every day and some guys, sometimes

00:53:59.280 guys will say, Hey Ryan, I really appreciate the message that you're putting out there.

00:54:02.260 And to me, it's like, great.

00:54:03.920 That I, thank you.

00:54:05.000 I appreciate that.

00:54:05.660 That's humbling.

00:54:06.480 Um, thank you for the compliment.

00:54:07.620 And then on the other hand, I'll get guys who say, I appreciate your message.

00:54:11.740 And one of the ones I got just, I think it was yesterday.

00:54:14.060 A guy said, I just got a promotion.

00:54:16.520 I'm making the most money I've ever made in my life.

00:54:19.480 My wife and I are connected.

00:54:21.600 Uh, I I'm going on this adventure.

00:54:23.180 Like they're telling me what they're doing.

00:54:24.640 And to me, I'm like, hell yeah, man.

00:54:26.500 That's what this is about.

00:54:27.880 It's not about, do you like the message?

00:54:30.460 It's about, is it inspiring you to go out and take action and get over that pain of untapped

00:54:37.400 potential to take that leap to, to use your term.

00:54:40.860 That's what I want to see.

00:54:42.020 I want to see guys like progressing, not just thinking about progressing.

00:54:45.740 I love that.

00:54:46.760 And those are two different worlds and we have to cross the threshold because like, just like

00:54:51.500 I said, I want you to own that.

00:54:52.500 You're one of the 10% that actually spends, invest an hour of your time, but that's not

00:54:57.520 enough.

00:54:58.320 What if you become the 1% that are actually in the game, stepping courageously with that 0.90

00:55:04.800 information, doing something that you didn't do yesterday, doing something that you

00:55:07.320 maybe six months ago, you thought that was impossible.

00:55:11.420 And you're living this man because you've taken, you know, leaps in your physicality.

00:55:15.600 You've taken leaps in your career in business.

00:55:17.920 You've taken, you know, you're about to take an environment leap, which is super exciting.

00:55:21.720 And, and that's what we're here for.

00:55:24.400 Right.

00:55:24.860 And here's what happens, Ryan, if we don't take action and we continue to listen to this

00:55:29.020 information.

00:55:30.580 Not only do we lose belief in ourselves, but we start to become cynics of this stuff.

00:55:35.500 I've seen it.

00:55:36.780 I've even seen people and coaches in my industry, but this has happened to, and they

00:55:41.700 start saying things like, oh yeah, of course, you know, of course that works for them or,

00:55:45.980 or, you know, order of man.

00:55:47.420 It's just, you know, it's just one big scam or, you know, uh, Tony Robbins is full of it.

00:55:52.280 And listen, I don't care what you believe about the actual people, but you can become a

00:55:56.920 cynic of this information.

00:55:58.260 And then, and, and because you never do anything with it, it never comes to life.

00:56:03.100 You know, I had somebody once tell me, Tommy, I've invested this amount of thousands of dollars

00:56:07.220 in programs.

00:56:07.740 I did this, this, this, what's going to make yours different.

00:56:10.080 And I said, hold on a second before we, we enter into anything.

00:56:14.120 Let's just get very clear here.

00:56:16.540 Um, who's the common denominator in those?

00:56:19.640 Yeah.

00:56:20.160 Yeah.

00:56:20.460 Good point.

00:56:20.920 And I was like, honestly, you just mentioned seven programs.

00:56:23.280 So are you, are you trying to convince me that there's seven scam artists that just

00:56:27.220 wanted to take your money that didn't have a program that actually worked now?

00:56:30.180 Of course, other programs that are better.

00:56:31.420 Yes.

00:56:31.700 But, um, anything done with half, half asked, half hearted intentions, um, halfway you're

00:56:39.300 good and you're not going to get the results.

00:56:41.080 And I think in our space, Ryan, in our spaces, my space, people don't take this stuff as seriously

00:56:48.040 as they could.

00:56:50.100 And they got one foot in and one foot out and they're like, yeah, that sounded good.

00:56:54.940 But like, ah, I don't know if I'm ready for that.

00:56:57.240 And then they miss out on the actual potential of what he could create.

00:57:00.560 So yes, by being here, you're winning, but are you ready to score a touchdown in the arena?

00:57:06.220 And that's what we're here for.

00:57:08.380 Well, I think another reason to talk about your environment that you were mentioning

00:57:11.380 earlier is because you won't have these weird sense of expectations.

00:57:16.200 I think when people see what you're doing or what I'm doing, they think that we're just

00:57:19.700 having conversations or we're quote unquote, and I've had people say this, dinking around

00:57:24.260 on Facebook all day.

00:57:25.940 And so when, cause that's what they see, right?

00:57:29.420 And so when they throw their hat into the ring and they quote unquote, dink around on

00:57:34.100 Facebook all day, they're like, well, how come I'm not seeing the results?

00:57:36.440 Yes.

00:57:37.100 Because you had a false sense of expectations of what it took.

00:57:40.840 And this is why I believe it's so critical that we hire mentors, that we hire coaches,

00:57:45.860 that we befriend people who are further along the path and the journey than we are, because

00:57:50.580 they're going to tell us, no, we're not dinking around on Facebook all day.

00:57:54.780 These are the activities that we're doing.

00:57:56.340 This is the action that we're taking.

00:57:58.080 And although it might seem like this from the outside, there's actually a lot of work

00:58:01.640 that goes on behind the scenes.

00:58:03.520 And it gives us a realistic sense of what it's actually going to take to achieve what

00:58:09.580 we're after.

00:58:11.100 And, and just like the guy in four 19, you know, he doesn't see the training camps where

00:58:16.200 the athlete was nearly cut.

00:58:17.580 He doesn't see the two hours after practice running route trees to solidify his craft.

00:58:24.380 He doesn't see investing.

00:58:26.360 God knows how many thousands of dollars in his recovery and the stuff that he's going to

00:58:30.360 need.

00:58:30.580 And of course, there's a big metaphor for athletics, but I'm connected into what we're

00:58:34.340 doing.

00:58:34.940 Yeah.

00:58:35.320 Life in general.

00:58:36.320 Yeah.

00:58:36.440 You only, you only see a snapshot, but when you're in the game, the reason why the people

00:58:41.200 in the game don't pay attention to the critics on the outside is because in the game, um,

00:58:46.580 that's when you notice everything, all of the work, all the determination, all of the consistency

00:58:51.400 that it takes, um, to, to do the things that we're doing, the things, the things that you're

00:58:56.240 doing.

00:58:56.520 And I love what you said about the investment piece, because one of the fastest ways to get

00:59:01.080 out of the stands or out of the arena and actually inside of the game is to what is to

00:59:06.740 invest.

00:59:07.520 Because I always say, it's not what the money does.

00:59:10.120 It's not, it's not about the money.

00:59:12.120 It's what the money does to our behavior.

00:59:13.940 And most importantly, to our attention.

00:59:16.280 And it becomes like a signal mechanism for our attention that says, you know what, I

00:59:21.480 got to, I have to take this seriously now.

00:59:23.960 And so for somebody out there, that might be $19 for somebody else out there.

00:59:28.100 That might be 5,000.

00:59:30.480 I don't know what your threshold is to grab your attention, but if you're tired of, you

00:59:36.380 know, being on the sidelines, hop into the iron cancel council, do something that's going

00:59:41.980 to actually put some commitment in the game, because ultimately the game is what it's your

00:59:46.360 life.

00:59:46.920 And I hope that your life and the goals and the things that you want to create are worth

00:59:51.440 that ticket price.

00:59:52.800 Because if they're not, then we have to question your desire and what you really want.

00:59:58.680 Well, I think once you put money to something, you're just signifying consciously and

01:00:02.400 subconsciously that there's value here.

01:00:04.980 It matters.

01:00:05.360 I've talked a lot about this at length regarding money and investments and building wealth is

01:00:10.000 that it's just a medium of value.

01:00:11.980 It's a metric of value that when you take your wallet out and you invest in picking up

01:00:17.280 a copy of your book or joining a program or hiring a coach or any number of things that

01:00:22.160 you can do, you're, you're consciously placing value on that thing.

01:00:26.740 And you're telling yourself and the world that this is something I value.

01:00:31.340 And I always say, I, cause I remember my first foray, I went to really all in.

01:00:36.060 Um, and I remember the ticket price was $25,000 and at the time you might as well have said

01:00:43.920 there was a billion cause I had no context.

01:00:46.400 Like there's, there's no context.

01:00:48.440 I know for a lot of people out there, 25 is an insane amount, but, and this is a practical

01:00:53.600 thing from the book that I want to teach anybody who's listening.

01:00:56.540 One of the reasons that we can stay so stuck, even if we listen to empowering information

01:01:01.820 and stuff like that is that, and we, I kind of mentioned this in environment, but this

01:01:05.720 is about decision-making and ultimately our lives are, or, you know, two different lives

01:01:09.820 are really the compounding of thousands and hundreds of thousands of choices and decisions.

01:01:14.720 When I had that opportunity to do that in the moment, I was so, this is, I can't do this.

01:01:21.260 There's no way.

01:01:22.040 Are you kidding me?

01:01:22.880 I don't, and at the time I actually had $917, um, in my account and I hadn't paid rent.

01:01:28.640 And I talk about that in the book, but, um, I knew the person 10 years down the line, looking

01:01:35.280 back, the person that had accomplished the things that I wanted to create, um, when they

01:01:40.180 look back, that decision would seem like a no brainer.

01:01:44.380 And again, this is like a dramatic example.

01:01:47.520 I'm not saying go invest $25,000.

01:01:49.000 I'm saying in your day to day, how often are you making decisions from the vantage point

01:01:54.920 of the person, the, the, the man that has already accomplished the things that you desire,

01:02:00.100 or are you still making decisions based on your current circumstances or who you've been?

01:02:05.260 And I find with myself, clients and people that I work with people as in my show, when

01:02:10.760 we make decisions based on that future version of what we actually truly want, we have to

01:02:15.280 have some clarity there.

01:02:16.040 Of course, you know, that, that today's bold decision today, going to the gym and getting

01:02:20.360 uncomfortable today, having that tough conversation today, writing the a thousand words and reaching

01:02:25.020 out to that recruiter or whatever that bold decision is, is it just seems less daunting

01:02:29.040 today and we're more likely to do it.

01:02:31.040 Plus we collapse the time that it's going to take to bring that to life.

01:02:34.140 I love it, man.

01:02:35.180 I think that's a great place to wrap up our conversation today.

01:02:38.160 Obviously we're skimming the surface and there's a lot more that we could discuss, but guys,

01:02:41.440 go, go get a copy of the book.

01:02:42.900 Like if you feel like maybe you're stuck or that, that you're not quite living it up to

01:02:47.720 your full potential, then this is a great resource to be able to take that leap and really

01:02:52.340 move towards something you want.

01:02:53.740 So Tommy, as we wind down today, let me, let me ask you a couple of additional questions.

01:02:57.580 Number one, what does it mean to be a man?

01:03:01.600 Love it, man.

01:03:02.280 And then I believe this is a multiple times I've answered this, um, but at the core sense

01:03:08.760 to me is having clarity and being grounded in who we are, what's important to us and really

01:03:20.920 what we're committed to doing in our lives, in our legacies and the things that we want

01:03:27.940 to build and really protecting that with everything that we have.

01:03:33.520 And it's about allowing that evolution to happen organically and shedding some of the BS that

01:03:38.900 gets in the way of that and really owning that on a deep level.

01:03:41.560 And that's why I love your message.

01:03:42.900 Cause I learned so much about this conversation of masculinity because I'm constantly asking

01:03:49.280 myself to redefine this definition time and time again.

01:03:52.040 So I love that question.

01:03:53.240 I want to, I want to ask you a follow-up there cause you use the word commitment and I want

01:03:57.360 to know what that means to you because I think it's easy to say that word.

01:04:02.180 I think it's easy for a lot of people to pay it lip service and say, no, I'm, I'm dedicated.

01:04:06.400 I'm committed.

01:04:07.460 But when you use that term, explain to me what that means to you.

01:04:11.800 To me, it's, it's a non-negotiable, uh, I like to think of it as a, as a, as an energy,

01:04:23.200 a mindset, a way of, of looking at the world and our, our place in it where it's absolutely

01:04:29.520 non-negotiable and it's a hundred percent binary.

01:04:32.360 There's no trying, there's no, maybe there's no, I'll figure it out.

01:04:35.260 There's no, I got to see, I guess it's yes.

01:04:39.380 And I'm stepping into it and within commitment, it's the, having the courage to get really

01:04:47.300 uncomfortable for long periods of time, but to stay committed to the original desire,

01:04:53.400 the original clarity that we wanted, the outcome, whatever that may be, that's commitment to

01:04:57.280 me.

01:04:57.740 Commitment is staying with it during the highs and the great times and the breakthroughs.

01:05:03.320 And also during the dark moments where you just want to quit.

01:05:05.960 But the question is, are you committed or are you just interested?

01:05:09.960 Yeah.

01:05:10.100 I like that distinction.

01:05:11.140 We're right on, man.

01:05:12.100 Well, Tommy, how do we connect with you?

01:05:13.600 Get a copy of the book and figure out all the things that you're doing.

01:05:17.900 Absolutely, man.

01:05:18.540 Thanks so much.

01:05:19.160 So the book is called the leap of your life.

01:05:20.840 As we said, um, it's out right now.

01:05:22.720 And, uh, if any of this resonated, um, my intention with this book was to make it non-personal

01:05:28.320 development fluff.

01:05:29.240 So the book is not designed to be a cheerleader.

01:05:31.440 You're not going to align your chakras here. 0.99

01:05:33.020 You're not going to like meditate in the Himalayas.

01:05:35.640 Um, the first line of the book is what are you waiting for?

01:05:38.080 And I wanted to set the tone.

01:05:39.320 The publisher was like, Tommy, don't you think that's a little, you know, intense for the

01:05:42.720 first line of the book?

01:05:43.320 I said, I would have said, absolutely.

01:05:44.560 That's the point.

01:05:46.460 Yeah, exactly.

01:05:47.560 I said, this is what I wish when I was lacking purpose.

01:05:51.000 I wish when I had the pain of untapped potential, Ryan, because I have, I wish when I was alone

01:05:55.480 and frustrated and in and out of toxic relationships that were ultimately my responsibility.

01:06:00.020 I wish somebody said, Tommy, what the hell are you waiting for?

01:06:02.740 So if this resonated and you want something that's going to challenge you on a deep level

01:06:06.880 out of respect, though, not on a pedestal because we're on the same level here, but

01:06:11.020 out of, out of respect, um, leapofyourlife.com, Amazon Barnes, wherever you can find books.

01:06:15.700 And of course the podcast is Resist Average Academy with two-time guest, Ryan.

01:06:19.760 That's right.

01:06:20.080 Don't forget that.

01:06:20.680 That's, that's important.

01:06:22.500 Tommy, I appreciate you, brother.

01:06:23.840 I appreciate our friendship and your motivation.

01:06:25.720 Every time we talk, I feel, I feel uplifted.

01:06:28.200 I feel inspired and motivated to go soon, do something more.

01:06:30.900 So I'm going to go run here now.

01:06:32.140 You got me all pumped up and excited.

01:06:34.240 Um, are you, are you committed to setting a PR?

01:06:36.840 No, I'm not.

01:06:38.560 If I'm going to be truthful with you.

01:06:43.100 That's good, man.

01:06:43.840 You got clarity.

01:06:44.520 That's what matters.

01:06:45.540 All right, brother.

01:06:46.360 Well, I'm looking forward to getting this to the guys.

01:06:48.680 Again, I appreciate you and the friendship and, uh, thanks for coming and sharing some

01:06:52.760 of your words of wisdom with us.

01:06:53.780 Gents, there it is wrapping things up with Tommy Baker.

01:06:58.460 I hope that you enjoyed this podcast.

01:07:00.280 I told you in the beginning of the conversation that his energy and his positivity are just,

01:07:05.040 they're infectious.

01:07:05.760 And they caused me to want to be more positive and uplifted and encouraged and really do the

01:07:11.340 things that I want to do in my life.

01:07:12.640 And a big part of that has been taking some leaps in my professional and personal life.

01:07:17.440 And much of what Tommy talks about in his book, the leap of your life I've implemented in my life

01:07:22.260 to make these types of changes that have ultimately benefited me and the people that I have a

01:07:26.640 responsibility for.

01:07:27.780 So guys, make sure you connect with me and Tommy on Instagram and Twitter and Facebook and YouTube

01:07:33.000 and the website and wherever you happen to be online, uh, pick up a copy of his book,

01:07:38.840 the leap of your life.

01:07:39.820 Let me and him know, uh, what you thought about the conversation and what you're implementing

01:07:43.860 in your life.

01:07:44.600 Also, let us know, uh, what leaps you're making and what changes you're making in your

01:07:48.920 life to improve your situation.

01:07:51.100 Again, guys, as I said earlier, I wanted to thank you.

01:07:54.060 I'm glad that we're on this journey and in this battle together.

01:07:56.780 I absolutely could not do it without you.

01:07:59.260 I would just encourage you as we part today to share this message and share these words

01:08:04.060 in the podcast, I'll leave a rating and review that goes a long, long way in promoting

01:08:08.680 the visibility and continue to share the message, continue to step up in your lives as husbands,

01:08:13.520 fathers, business owners, community leaders, and every other area of life in which you're

01:08:17.680 showing up.

01:08:18.780 So that's all I've got for you guys.

01:08:20.020 We'll be back tomorrow for the ask me anything, but until then go out there, take action and

01:08:25.360 become the man you are meant to be.

01:08:27.340 Thank you for listening to the order of man podcast.

01:08:30.100 You're ready to take charge of your life and be more of the man you were meant to be.

01:08:34.220 We invite you to join the order at order of man.com.

01:08:37.340 Now go out there.

01:08:37.960 Cheers.

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Order of Man - April 09, 2019

Make The Leap ｜ TOMMY BAKER

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