Order of Man - Make Your Presence Known

00:00:00.000 You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest. Embrace your fears and boldly chart

00:00:04.980 your own path. When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time. Every time.

00:00:10.440 You are not easily deterred or defeated. Rugged. Resilient. Strong. This is your life. This is who

00:00:17.140 you are. This is who you will become. At the end of the day, and after all is said and done,

00:00:22.660 you can call yourself a man. Gentlemen, what is going on this morning? My name is Ryan Michler.

00:00:28.160 I'm the host and the founder of the Order of Man podcast and movement. Welcome here today.

00:00:32.960 This is a podcast designed to give you all of the tools and resources you need as a man to thrive,

00:00:37.880 to excel, to build your business, to build your bank account, to build your body,

00:00:42.300 to build the relationships that you have a desire for, and ultimately to achieve whatever objective

00:00:48.240 that you're after. Today, I'm going to talk with you about something important, which is the idea

00:00:52.520 of just making your presence known and felt. This is something that I think men can be better at.

00:00:59.780 This is something I think we as men should improve upon because when our presence is known,

00:01:04.560 we create more opportunities for ourselves. Inevitably, when I talk about these issues,

00:01:09.440 guys talk about not needing to have some sort of false bravado or air of arrogance to them.

00:01:15.840 That's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about real substance, real depth, and real

00:01:21.660 opportunities that you can create for yourself by making yourself known, not in an obnoxious,

00:01:27.960 overbearing, condescending, egotistical, arrogant way, but in a way that is confident,

00:01:35.660 in a way that is secure in who you are as a man, in a way that inspires growth and confidence in you

00:01:43.520 from others, and ultimately helps us lead a better life. More money in our bank account,

00:01:49.100 more opportunities in our romantic relationships and interests, more business opportunities,

00:01:54.240 all because we're going to make ourselves and our presence known.

00:01:57.520 Before I get into it, I want to talk with you about getting our store, our merchandise store,

00:02:01.940 back up and running. We have three shirt designs available right now. They're all on pre-order.

00:02:08.480 I've got a couple of new hats coming soon. I've got a couple of beanies coming soon.

00:02:12.080 If you go to store.orderofman.com, you can check it out. It's a great way to support what we're

00:02:16.580 doing. You can check out our Hold Fast t-shirt, our original Order of Man shirt, and the last one

00:02:22.820 is our Iron Sharpens Iron shirt. All three are available for pre-order right now. Again,

00:02:27.340 head to store.orderofman.com. All right, let's get into this. We're talking about making your

00:02:31.800 presence known. I was inspired to talk with you about this today because my good friend Tanner Guzzi

00:02:36.660 with Masculine Style, and we're going to talk a little bit about style as well later in this

00:02:41.060 conversation, sent an email out to his email database, his email subscribers, and the email

00:02:47.420 subject line was titled, Take Up More Space. And in the email, he talks about the importance of

00:02:54.780 making ourselves known, the importance of putting ourselves out there, the importance of exerting

00:03:00.700 ourselves and showing people what we're after and what we want. And I was really inspired by this email.

00:03:07.440 It makes a lot of sense to me because of the reasons I suggested to you. And ironically enough,

00:03:12.520 or interestingly enough, him and I actually had a conversation later that day. And I told him I

00:03:17.340 wanted to talk about this on a Friday field notes. And we talked a little bit about four key components

00:03:22.680 of the way that he says, is it taking up more space? And the way that I say it is making your presence

00:03:28.160 known. And we're going to break this down one by one. And then we're ultimately going to talk about

00:03:32.980 what it leads to. So the first thing that you need to do, if you want to make your presence known

00:03:37.320 is you need to have some level of performance. All right. And I'm not saying that you're doing

00:03:43.380 a dog and pony show. I'm not saying that you're going to be a clown and perform like you are in

00:03:48.240 the circus. What I mean by performance is that you, if you want to make your presence known in

00:03:53.380 environments, whether it's with women or potential employers or clients, is you need to have some

00:04:00.200 metric, some standard of performance in your life. You need to have excelled. You need to have

00:04:05.840 integrity. You need to be a man of your word. You need to be somebody who is succeeding or at least

00:04:10.100 working towards succeeding in your life. If you're not doing that in your life and other facets of

00:04:16.040 your life, it's going to be very difficult for you to make yourself known in certain environments to

00:04:23.340 make your presence felt because you're going to want to shy away and shirk from the limelight

00:04:28.640 because you don't want to be exposed for what you are, which is potentially

00:04:32.360 weak, cowardly, maybe even a fraud. But if you're a man of integrity and look, I'm not always that

00:04:40.180 individual, but I'm striving to become that individual. And when I fall and mess up, I attempt

00:04:45.020 to take responsibility for it. And I attempt to shore up those areas so that I can look people in the eye

00:04:50.260 so that I can walk into the room with confidence so that my posture is where it needs to be so that

00:04:56.500 when people look at me or at least feel my presence, they think, man, that guy's got it,

00:05:00.620 right? We've all heard of it explained as the X factor, but it's not some mystical force that

00:05:06.900 nobody can quantify. It's very quantifiable. I'm going to talk with you about the perfect

00:05:11.500 formula for it today. But guys, the first thing you need to do is before you even start to try to

00:05:17.460 impress other people, because that's not what this is about. Those are externalities. And before you try

00:05:23.020 to make people think that you're somebody important or an influencer or a celebrity or any of these

00:05:29.780 things that so many young men are after, you need to ask yourself, am I performing? Am I going to the

00:05:36.200 gym? Am I paying off debt? Am I developing and building new skills that are going to help me in

00:05:41.140 the marketplace? Am I showing up responsibly and powerfully with my wife and my children? Am I showing

00:05:47.920 up in a way that elicits confidence and inspiration and influence with other people? And if you're doing

00:05:55.160 that, then all the rest of what I'm going to share with you today becomes less relevant, not irrelevant,

00:06:00.040 but less relevant because you have the core, the foundational component, which is confidence.

00:06:06.260 So many people that I talk with often ask how a man develops confidence. And they ask almost as if

00:06:14.300 there's some sort of crazy formula for saying the right thing or doing the right thing or wearing

00:06:21.380 the right thing. And all of those factors can play a part. But if you're empty and you're weak and

00:06:28.280 cowardly and hollow inside, then no amount of cologne or fancy clothes or fast cars or smooth words

00:06:37.460 is going to help you overcome you feeling inferior about yourself. And this is a plight of modern

00:06:44.820 society is this idea that you should just feel good about yourself. The problem with that is that

00:06:50.740 you're going to have this internal dialogue that says on one hand or one shoulder, you've got the,

00:06:55.040 you've got the angel that says you're special and you're amazing and you're beautiful just the

00:06:59.040 way you are. And then over here, you've got the devil who says, no, you're not. You're worthless.

00:07:03.520 You're cowardly. You're weak. You're pathetic. You're a sack of shit. So who do you listen to?

00:07:07.560 Neither. The answer is neither. All right. You're not perfect the way you are, because if you were

00:07:13.400 perfect the way you are, then you wouldn't have any ambition to do and be more. But you're also not

00:07:18.220 a sack of crap. You're not a pile of garbage. You have inherent worth in who you are as a human being.

00:07:24.780 And so it's up to you to realize and to tap into that potential and say that I am worthy of something

00:07:29.800 great, but I have to go out there and earn it. And when you do, your performance will speak for

00:07:35.700 itself and people will start to see that. They won't always be able to put their finger on it,

00:07:41.100 but they'll say to themselves, that's a guy that has something going on. Women will notice it.

00:07:46.220 Clients will notice it. Potential bosses and employers and team leaders will notice it.

00:07:50.460 And you'll find yourself put in the position of more opportunity.

00:07:53.360 Number two is your presentation. Guys, when I'm talking about presentation, I'm talking about

00:07:59.820 what you wear. I'm talking about the words that are coming out of your mouth, your tempo,

00:08:05.080 your speed, your pace, the way you groom your beard or lack thereof, the way you do your hair,

00:08:09.860 what you're wearing, all of the way that you present yourself, the package, right? The way people

00:08:16.140 see you. Do you have like stubble that isn't groomed and tidy? Is your hair a mess? Do you smell

00:08:24.060 like good or do you smell bad? Are you wearing clothes that you got when you were in high school

00:08:29.980 20 years ago? Are they loose and baggy when you're showing up in your car or you're having

00:08:37.240 somebody in your car? This is a great litmus test. What's the first thing that a person sees?

00:08:42.880 All too often when I get into somebody's car, it's like McDonald's cups and wrappers and bullshit

00:08:47.900 laying all over the car and on the ground and on the floor. And they're like, hold on, hold on.

00:08:52.160 Let me get all this stuff out of here. Oh, my kids are my kids. No, it's you. All right. This is your

00:08:56.280 space. And now you're wanting me. You're inviting me into your space. And if your space is a pigsty,

00:09:02.880 how can you expect that I'll have any sort of respect for you? Like I won't. And I know I hear

00:09:10.620 people saying now like, oh, well, you shouldn't judge a book by its cover. That's great in fantasy

00:09:15.080 land. But here in the real world, we all do it, including you. That's why you're listening to

00:09:20.900 this podcast. And if you've listened to at least two episodes, you came back for a reason. But if

00:09:26.240 you thought it was bullcrap, you wouldn't be back here. So this is why I invest, for example,

00:09:31.680 into proper cameras, into proper lighting. If you listen to the podcast or watch the podcast on

00:09:37.080 YouTube, which you should do, by the way, at youtube.com slash order of man, it's a good plug

00:09:41.740 there. Then you would notice that a month or two months ago, the podcast studio didn't look quite

00:09:47.060 like it looks today. That's because I invest in the way I present myself. I went with my girlfriend

00:09:53.060 and her children and my two youngest children to Legoland over the weekend. And I saw dad after dad

00:09:59.940 wearing baggy shorts and socks with sandals and baggy gross t-shirts with holes in them. And their

00:10:06.660 hair was a mess. And look, I'm not trying to judge those guys. I don't know them individually. But what

00:10:12.040 I do know is that I was looking at them and it wasn't favorable. So we can use that information to

00:10:17.880 our advantage. Guys, if you go into an employer looking like that and saying, well, you know, he

00:10:21.880 shouldn't judge a book by its cover. How often do you think that's going to work for you? If you're

00:10:26.620 interested in approaching a woman, but you look like a slob and you smell like trash, you think

00:10:30.980 you're going to have an odd, any odds of, of going on a date with her? Of course you're not. So let's

00:10:35.700 stop playing the game of like, well, it shouldn't be this way. Let's operate in reality. And the reality

00:10:40.760 is that the people, the men who get the opportunities are the ones who are the part and they look the part.

00:10:46.960 Now there's always exceptions to this, right? We see, and Tanner talked about this in his email.

00:10:52.900 You see a guy like Adam Sandler and you think, well, look at this guy, you know,

00:10:56.280 hyper successful can have the woman he wants. He's got plenty of money and he's wearing like

00:11:00.820 baggy gym shorts and gross old dad socks with dad shoes and a baggy ass t-shirt. And they think,

00:11:07.440 well, there's an example of why I don't have to, you're not Adam Sandler, right? You're not Mark

00:11:11.820 Zuckerberg. You're not Elon Musk. And I think Elon actually takes it to the next level a little bit,

00:11:16.560 but you're, you're not those guys, right? So we don't as average ordinary dudes who aren't

00:11:23.620 already famous. We don't have the luxury of wearing stuff like that. We don't have the luxury

00:11:30.000 of just showing up and hoping that people don't worry about the way we present ourselves,

00:11:34.840 present yourself. Well, spend some time thinking about what am I wearing today? What does it say

00:11:41.460 about who I am? What does it say about the message I want to convey to people? What does it say about my

00:11:46.260 abilities? And I'm not just talking about your clothing. I'm talking about your words,

00:11:49.740 your tempo, your pace, your vocabulary, your knowledge, present yourself, websites, business

00:11:56.620 cards, even the vehicle. Is it clean? Is it gross? Is it something that's, you know, 40 years old and

00:12:02.120 just a worn down hunk of junk? Or is it a nice, you know, it doesn't have to be nice, but at least,

00:12:07.660 you know, modest, clean, organized, straight. People can tell you, take care of it. If you want more

00:12:13.700 information on this, then I will refer you over to Tanner Guzzi. He does an amazing, amazing job.

00:12:18.020 Tanner Guzzi, G-U-Z-Y and his, his site and his coaching that he does is all done through

00:12:24.300 masculine style. Highly, highly recommend it because he does a phenomenal job in this department.

00:12:28.900 The next point that I want to make is we need to also consider our physical form.

00:12:33.700 When I say physical form, I'm not talking necessarily about your physical fitness and

00:12:37.640 your physique. We're going to talk about that in a minute. I'm talking about your physical form.

00:12:41.920 That's the way you sit. That's the way you stand. That's the way you occupy space. It's your gate.

00:12:49.720 It's your stride. It's your tempo. It's your pace. It's the form in which you operate and navigate

00:12:55.840 your environment. If you're hunched over, shoulders down, hunched over, slow, monotone voice,

00:13:04.200 like you don't care. What is that saying? Well, it's saying you don't care.

00:13:08.200 And people aren't going to believe that you're occupying space. People aren't going to believe

00:13:12.540 that you're a success. People aren't even going to give you the time of day to create the

00:13:15.920 opportunities that you're after. So stand up, stand up. If you're sitting down, sit upright.

00:13:23.500 That's actually a struggle I have. I tend to sit in my chair and hunch down and slouch. Sit upright,

00:13:29.180 shoulders back, chest up, breathe through your nose, carry yourself well. If you're moving from

00:13:36.140 point A to point B, act like you have somewhere to be. I'm not telling you you need to run a sprint,

00:13:41.140 but damn, you're not just killing time either, are you? Hopefully, you have somewhere to be.

00:13:48.640 You have something to do. If I go into a store or I see a server at a restaurant and they're busy,

00:13:56.160 but they're busting their ass. They're running all over the place and they're talking with people and

00:13:59.980 I can see their tempo and pace is where it needs to be. I don't care how busy that person is.

00:14:04.100 That's the person I want to work with. That's the person I want to serve me. That's the person who

00:14:08.680 I want to be my sales associate or my financial advisor or my accountant. But if he's hunched over

00:14:15.180 and he's just kind of like, whatever, and he's letting the environment and what happens around

00:14:20.720 dictate how he handles things instead of asserting himself, sitting upright, being engaged in

00:14:26.580 conversations, being engaged in the environment and having this idea of physical form, the way that

00:14:32.640 his physical body moves throughout time and space, you're just not going to have success doing that.

00:14:40.000 So a great way on this to evaluate, because sometimes we don't know, is to get third-party

00:14:45.980 advice. And you could do it for any of these points that I'm making today. But if you can get third-party

00:14:51.480 advice from people who care about you and you can ask them, how do I move throughout space? Like,

00:14:56.400 am I slow? Am I lethargic? Do I have high energy? Is it overly energized? Does it make people anxious?

00:15:02.180 Is it obnoxious? That's something to consider as well. What do you think about my posture?

00:15:07.100 Like, do I hold myself well? Do I carry myself well? I mean, you can look at a guy pretty quickly

00:15:12.580 and determine, oh, that guy's athletic. Oh, that guy has somewhere to be. That guy is important.

00:15:19.620 That guy is successful just by the way they carry themselves. So if we want to be those things,

00:15:25.300 again, this is not to take place or replace the performance component, which is step number one,

00:15:29.560 but it's in addition to. Imagine if you performed well day in and day out, so you had this internal

00:15:34.220 confidence. You presented yourself like a powerhouse and your physical form, the way you carried

00:15:40.400 yourself, showed the world that you are actually a capable man, capable of doing good and powerful

00:15:46.200 and righteous and noble things. How much better would your life be? So you could ask a third party

00:15:51.900 and ask them, hey, do I carry myself well? Do I present well? In what areas can I improve?

00:15:58.740 How's my grooming? How's my clothing? When you see me walk into a room, what do you think? What do you

00:16:03.680 think about the clothes that I wear? Ask them and ask them to be honest, but respond in a constructive

00:16:09.620 way so that they will be honest. Because if you ask them to be honest and you lose your cool and

00:16:13.920 flip your lid, then they're never going to be honest with you again. So ask them to be honest.

00:16:19.100 And if it hurts, fine. But just say thank you and try to implement the feedback so that you can

00:16:24.480 create better results in your life. Guys, the last thing I want to talk to you about today,

00:16:27.920 and I talk about this every single week, is we need to improve our physique. We have to. Yes,

00:16:33.780 there's the strength reasons and there's the living longer reasons and there's a higher levels of

00:16:38.500 energy. There's all of that. But look, if I got to choose between two guys in a scenario,

00:16:43.300 getting a job, for example, and all other things are equal, I'm taking the one with a good physique.

00:16:47.520 You know why? Because I know that guy's disciplined. I know that guy works. I know

00:16:52.320 that guy cares about himself. I know that guy has the energy to attack whatever it is I'm asking him

00:16:57.660 to handle. So if I look at two men at Legoland, for example, and I see one guy, and I did,

00:17:02.800 plenty of men who were strong and fit and jacked. And then I saw a guy right next to him who was fat

00:17:09.660 and overweight and out of shape and didn't carry himself well. Who did I think more highly of?

00:17:15.380 Of course, the guy whose physique was fit. And again, here comes the people saying,

00:17:22.280 well, Ryan, that's not fair. You don't know. I don't know. That's the point. I don't know.

00:17:27.660 So all I can do is make decisions on what I'm presented with. And what I'm presented with is

00:17:33.160 physical appearance. And in 90 to 99% of the scenarios that you're met with in life,

00:17:39.160 your physical appearance is going to be a major factor in how people view you. It may not be fair.

00:17:46.640 It may not be accurate. It may not be right. Like who cares? It is. So let's embrace it and use it as a

00:17:57.240 powerful tool to accomplish what we want. Guys, go to the gym, eat correctly, put down the processed

00:18:03.640 foods and sugars, feel your body, get rest, get recovery, get shredded, get jacked. These are all

00:18:09.700 things that I'm personally working on. I'm not perfect. I'm not awesome, but I'm working on getting

00:18:14.520 there because I want it to be that when I walk into a room, people acknowledge me. People see that I'm

00:18:20.980 somebody that has something to say. People see that this is somebody who's important,

00:18:25.960 not for the vanity of it. Don't mistake that. It's not for the vanity of accolades and praise

00:18:32.560 from unknown people. It's for the opportunities I want to create. If I'm in the dating space,

00:18:38.180 I want to create as many opportunities as I possibly can. If I'm in the job market,

00:18:42.920 I want to create as many job opportunities as I can. If I'm vying for clients, you better be certain

00:18:48.800 somebody else is working for that client. And I want to create as many favorable reasons a client

00:18:53.860 would do business with me over my competitor who doesn't listen to this podcast. Guys, we can do

00:18:59.600 better in this. We can make our presence known. We can make ourselves felt. We can inspire and

00:19:04.880 cultivate trust and influence with other people, and we can accomplish the goals that we want.

00:19:09.880 And all of this leads to, and I'm stealing a page from my good friend, Keith Yacke's playbook.

00:19:15.160 He talks about the importance of power. Power. We can be powerful.

00:19:20.240 All of us have internal worth as men, but it's all untapped. It's unrealized potential.

00:19:27.660 And it's stored energy. I was teaching my kids about science last year, and we were talking about

00:19:32.860 energy. Energy cannot be created or destroyed. It can only be transferred. So we already have all of

00:19:40.260 the energy that we need in our lives right now at our disposal to accomplish big things. And right now,

00:19:47.100 it's just stored. It's stored energy. It's not what they would call kinetic energy, moving energy,

00:19:54.000 energy that's creating heat and friction and results. We can be powerful. We are already powerful.

00:20:00.360 We just need to transfer the energy from stored to kinetic. And we do that by performing well.

00:20:07.740 We do that by presenting ourselves to the environment in a way that's conducive to what

00:20:12.580 we're trying to accomplish. We do that by improving the way that we move throughout the environment,

00:20:17.400 our physical form. And we do that by improving our physique. I hope that serves you. I hope that

00:20:23.760 helps. I hope more of you want to step in. I hope that next time I go to Legoland, there's more of us

00:20:28.220 who care more about this because it's going to present opportunities. And yeah, is it going to work

00:20:32.360 at Legoland? Maybe not. Maybe, maybe not. But you know where it will work? In the walls of your home,

00:20:38.660 in your bedroom, in the boardroom, in your community, it's going to work in just about

00:20:45.520 any environment you find yourself in. And you're going to find yourself getting known. You're going

00:20:49.440 to find yourself with more opportunities and you're going to find yourself with more abundance.

00:20:53.060 I hope it serves you guys. I mentioned Tanner Guzzi, a good friend of mine with Masculine Style.

00:20:57.480 I mentioned Keith Yackey, another good friend of mine with Married Game. Go check out both of them.

00:21:02.980 They're both doing phenomenal work and helping men accomplish more in their lives. And hopefully,

00:21:08.160 you feel the same about what we're doing here. Also, if you want to support what we're doing

00:21:11.820 and look good by having an awesome t-shirt or a battle planner or a hat or anything that we offer

00:21:18.260 in the store, head over to store.orderofman.com. Great way to support us and look good in the

00:21:22.940 process. All right, you guys, we'll be back next week. Until then, go out there, take action

00:21:27.160 and become the man you are meant to be. Thank you for listening to the Order of Man podcast.

00:21:32.700 If you're ready to take charge of your life and be more of the man you were meant to be,

00:21:36.340 we invite you to join the order at orderofman.com.

Order of Man - August 18, 2023

Make Your Presence Known ｜ FRIDAY FIELD NOTES

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