Order of Man - Making Simple (But Not Easy) Choices, Addressing Red Flags Early and Often, and Overcoming Distraction Once and For All ｜ ASK ME ANYTHING

00:00:00.000 You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest. Embrace your fears and boldly chart

00:00:04.980 your own path. When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time. Every time.

00:00:10.420 You are not easily deterred or defeated. Rugged. Resilient. Strong. This is your life. This is who

00:00:17.160 you are. This is who you will become. At the end of the day, and after all is said and done,

00:00:22.720 you can call yourself a man. Hey, what's up, man? Great to see you. Again,

00:00:27.040 I think this is the second week in a row where I've got back in the morning and then have to

00:00:32.040 record a podcast. I don't want to say it like that. I have the opportunity to record a podcast

00:00:37.100 an hour, hour and a half later. But I will say one of the nice things, we've got a chiropractor

00:00:42.760 who makes house calls. And so we had it scheduled so that he would come this morning. So I got home,

00:00:49.620 had a little chiropractic session, and here we are podcasting.

00:00:52.520 Oh, I thought we were going to do the session right now during the chiropractic session.

00:00:58.520 No, bro. I fall asleep. I fall asleep during the chiropractic session. So I would be useless at

00:01:03.760 that point. That's funny. Yeah, man. Cool, cool. And you just got back from what's the event called?

00:01:11.140 Knocker. Total Archery Challenge. Pack. That's right. Pack. Yeah. So just kind of imagine golf

00:01:19.280 for archers. It's a little bit of golf. They take you up the course, which is usually in the

00:01:24.240 mountains. So this time it was in Park City and they take you up on the lifts and whatnot.

00:01:27.460 And then you just walk down and work your way down through 20, 25 targets varying from

00:01:32.820 30 yards away up to I think 110 maybe was the furthest one. And then you try to hit foam.

00:01:40.240 So it was a good time. And you get to hang out with cool people, which is always nice.

00:01:43.700 And for the people that are really bored, you just hopped on like a downhill mountain bike and just try

00:01:47.760 to bomb down the mountain without getting hit by an arrow just for that. We had some mountain

00:01:51.640 bikers that were kind of coming through, but they had a marked off pretty well. But then there was

00:01:56.080 some other people that were riding horseback through through the course. It's like you might

00:02:00.200 not want to be doing this today. Somebody sees a big antlerless elk and shoots a horse in the ass 0.99

00:02:07.040 would be just just a wonderful way for the weekend to go. I'm sure. Yeah, that's funny. Cool. How did 0.99

00:02:12.920 you do? How did you what did you golf? I usually score usually most people, most amateurs, I would

00:02:20.320 say anyways, they judge their performance based on how many arrows they lost is usually how it goes.

00:02:26.240 I see. Yeah. Yeah. Like balls that you've lost in golfing. Yeah. So I think I lost I think I lost

00:02:33.300 two arrows. I lost one arrow, one arrow just broke and shattered. And another one, I lot the knock

00:02:39.740 popped off and hit the dirt and the knock popped off. So, you know, I did, I did three different

00:02:44.920 courses. So to say I lost two arrows, I feel pretty good with that. That's not bad. Yeah, not bad.

00:02:50.100 Yeah. When I golf, I don't end up with the same ball. I think I usually lose about maybe 10 in a

00:02:55.720 nine hole. The way that I do it in golf, I measure whether I'm above or below par is based on how many

00:03:02.320 I lose versus how many I find. So if I lose five, but I find four, I'm one over par. Yeah. So if you're

00:03:09.420 distracted mid golf and you're in the pond trying to find balls, you're trying to, you're trying to

00:03:14.120 win. I'm trying to fix my score a little bit. Absolutely. Absolutely. That's well, good, man.

00:03:19.700 Well, we got, I posted, uh, or, or asked for some questions on the, uh, the gram and, uh, we got some

00:03:27.420 good questions and some other questions. So we'll, uh, we'll answer the good ones. And, uh, if you would

00:03:34.540 guys make sure speaking of Instagram, that you're following tagging, sharing tagging is a little

00:03:38.260 difficult hit or miss because they're, I was going to say shadow banning. It's not shadow

00:03:42.200 banning. They're outright just going right at us after the jugular here. So, uh, you can check it

00:03:47.920 out there, Facebook, Twitter, all at Ryan Mickler. I'm on getter, which is a new thing. I'm at Ryan

00:03:54.520 Mickler, YouTube at order of man. Like let's diversify where you guys are connected with me because it's

00:04:00.740 very easy, um, as evidence over the past month or so, uh, that one of these could be shut down for any

00:04:06.140 arbitrary reason. And that's what's happening. So just make sure you're following me on all the

00:04:09.360 platforms and, uh, we've got the content there.

00:04:12.540 Copy. And we'll do our best. We're, we're kind of ad hoc grabbing these questions. So hopefully if I,

00:04:17.920 if I grab, we're not going to, we're not going to grab one of the bad, we're going to do the best.

00:04:22.220 Okay. If I grab a bad one, we'll just call a guy out and say bad question next.

00:04:27.380 I'm, I'm perfectly okay with that.

00:04:29.720 All right. That's so funny. All right. Are you ready?

00:04:32.920 Yep.

00:04:33.180 So let's do it. All right. Gringo.

00:04:36.000 Oh, he was one of the bad ones.

00:04:37.700 Okay. Next.

00:04:38.580 I'm just, I don't even know this question.

00:04:41.320 Actually, it wasn't much of a question. So it's, it's more of a kind of an all over all around.

00:04:46.600 So we'll see if it's a talking point for you. So a Gringo.

00:04:50.180 No, it's not a question. Is it the vax anti-vax current event? All that. That's not even a question.

00:04:54.900 Any take on it?

00:04:56.020 No, I mean, again, we talk about all the time, the quality of your life will be determined by the

00:05:01.220 quality of questions you ask. You ask, well, this wasn't even a question. Uh, and it's amazing

00:05:06.020 to, to how many people can't follow simple instructions. That's, what's amazing to me.

00:05:10.520 It's like, I realize you want the perspective, but like ask a question and then we can give you

00:05:15.800 a very specific answer. Uh, but this applies not just to what we're doing here. I'm trying to tell

00:05:20.660 you this because this applies to the rest of your life. It's so much more important than what we're

00:05:24.940 doing on this podcast. If you go into, uh, uh, in an interview, for example, you might want to come

00:05:30.380 out with some very poignant questions that you can ask the person who's interviewing you. If you're

00:05:34.920 going on a date or, uh, you want to learn more about somebody, or you're hosting a podcast, get

00:05:39.220 better at asking questions. Anything else is taking out. It's either a little bit of ignorance. And I

00:05:44.900 don't say that with any ill intent. It's just a little ignorance, uh, or it's lazy. So we can fix both

00:05:51.060 of those. Yeah. And, and one, this question, I'm kind of like, you know, maybe they're new people,

00:05:57.420 right? Maybe they've jumped onto the order of man. And that's where the ignorance, that's where the

00:06:01.440 ignorance. And again, I don't say that with ill intent. I'm saying it that. So, so this is the

00:06:06.020 learning opportunity, ask great questions and you'll get better answers that you're looking for.

00:06:10.960 Yeah. All right. David Osburnson, do you think it's a duty for us men to train our minds and bodies to

00:06:18.100 protect the people we hold dear to us? I don't think so. I don't think you should train your body.

00:06:24.400 I don't think you should train your mind. I think you should just be fat and lazy and 0.99

00:06:30.100 satisfied with who you are comfortable with who you are. Body positive movement. Um, don't let 0.95

00:06:36.940 anybody tell you that you're not good enough. That's what I do. And it seems to work out pretty

00:06:41.880 well for me. Yes, of course. Brian Mitchler. Of course. Train your butt. You have, you have a

00:06:47.960 moral obligation or responsibility to train your body and your mind. Uh, and if you're not going

00:06:52.640 to do it, just be prepared for results less than you're capable of. You want great results,

00:06:57.380 then you've got to be deliberate. You've got to be intentional. You've got to train for it

00:07:01.200 and, uh, you got to make it happen. So I would say the answer to that is most definitely. Yes,

00:07:07.460 of course. Yeah. All right. Five X back straight out on these questions, bro. I know. I know.

00:07:15.240 All right. Come on now. Give me a good one. All right. I'm a police officer who works 12 hour

00:07:20.460 shifts, seven out of 14 days. Maybe it's not me selecting the questions. Maybe just all these

00:07:26.800 questions suck. No, it's you. Cause I saw some of the questions and I thought there's some good 1.00

00:07:32.220 questions in here. Okay. Well, I'm having a hard time finding them. All right. This guy works seven

00:07:37.880 out of 14 days. Yeah. Works 12 hour shifts out of 14, 12 shifts, seven out of 14 days. So I've

00:07:45.360 started training jujitsu three days a week and I train and I try to run three to five miles three

00:07:50.280 days a week. I also have to take care of the house and yard. You've talked a lot about family time,

00:07:56.200 uh, or finding time for fitness and career goals. How do you make sure you're investing enough time in

00:08:01.940 family? Is there a minimum number of hours in a week there? I mean, look, there's not a minimum

00:08:07.300 number of hours. So what you're falling into the trap of is this work-life nonsense, this work-life

00:08:12.380 balance nonsense, right? Where, where people assume that means equal distribution of priorities

00:08:18.200 and responsibilities and obligations and tasks and things like that. And it isn't like that,

00:08:22.700 you know, especially when you're working 12 hour shifts for seven days in a row or whatever. I

00:08:27.020 didn't quite catch how that worked, but it's going to be more difficult, obviously for you to put in any

00:08:32.080 real workout or spend time with your wife and kids when you're doing that. But that's

00:08:37.100 what the job requires. So the way that you do it is not by measuring the hours that you're putting

00:08:44.640 in, but you measure the results that you're achieving. If you feel distance from your wife,

00:08:49.620 it's probably time that you consider putting in some more effort and making that a larger priority

00:08:55.380 than something else. If you feel that your fitness is getting out of whack, then you need to start

00:09:00.000 prioritizing that. And that's not to say that you completely abandon one priority or one responsibility.

00:09:06.300 So you can go all in on the other. There is a little bit of balance there, but the distribution

00:09:10.740 of your resources, time, energy, attention, et cetera, are going to be determined based on the

00:09:15.600 results that you're experiencing. If I'm struggling financially, well, I've got to get my ass to work

00:09:22.420 and make sure that I make ends meet, or I may not need to pick up a second job to pay the debts off

00:09:27.620 or make sure that the bills are paid, the roof over the head. If I've, I've been so busy with work

00:09:32.780 because personally I've been traveling so much, well, you know, it's, it's, it's important for

00:09:37.480 me to take some time off, maybe even from jujitsu or maybe even from extra work opportunities or

00:09:44.340 another trip I could take and spend time with the family. So really evaluate the results that you're

00:09:49.880 experiencing and then make your decisions based on that. You're out of whack right now because you're

00:09:55.100 asking the question. So you just need to get that back in alignment with your priorities and get back

00:09:59.780 on track. Tom Ward, one-on-one, what are some ideas for the rite of passage, so to speak, for

00:10:07.820 becoming a man? So ideas around rites of passage. Anything that's going to have a level of competition

00:10:14.080 involved in it, a ceremony involved in it, suffering needs to be involved. It's got to scare you. It's

00:10:22.120 got to challenge you. It's got to push you outside of your comfort zone. It typically would involve

00:10:27.020 something that you've never done or a skill that you're trying to develop, but there has to be

00:10:32.380 hardship. There has to be a clear objective and there has to be some sort of a ceremony or a ritual

00:10:41.060 along with the completion of it. And that might just be you going to compete in jujitsu and the,

00:10:48.640 the ceremony is you standing on the podium because you medaled in the, in the tournament.

00:10:52.520 So that, that would be a form of a rite of passage. Another rite of passage might be something like

00:10:58.780 Bedros Koulian's program or the Squire program that my son and I did suffering mentally, emotionally,

00:11:06.480 physically, a lot of learning, a lot of hardship. And then at the end, we had the graduation dinner,

00:11:11.840 even down to a certificate of completion for my son that he had framed. It's up on his wall.

00:11:18.800 I can see he's proud of that. It's a physical manifestation of the work that he's done.

00:11:23.680 And therefore it would fall under the category of rite of passage, but it has to have those

00:11:28.140 elements and those dynamics in order for it to, to qualify as a rite of passage.

00:11:33.440 Got it. Anthony Green. So I'm a new father. My daughter is two months old. I'd love every second

00:11:42.600 of it, but I'm having a really hard time maintaining a consistent workout routine with all the randomness

00:11:48.180 and lack of sleep that comes with a baby. Any tips, squeeze it in where you can. So this goes back to

00:11:55.160 the previous question about the irregularity of the schedule and the priorities. Of course,

00:12:00.520 less sleep right now, heavy emphasis on wife and daughter. I believe he said,

00:12:04.840 of course, that's going to be the priority. It would actually be weird if it wasn't,

00:12:09.240 if other areas of your life were completely on par in light of you having your first child.

00:12:17.600 So know that this is a season, but also make sure that you give yourself the space and the margin

00:12:23.060 to take care of yourself. That might be very early in the morning, you know, after, after she's in bed

00:12:29.000 or, you know, here's an, even another good example of way to do this is look at her sleep schedule. 0.97

00:12:35.240 And maybe once she's put down at, you know, seven o'clock or whatever it is, eight, I don't know,

00:12:41.120 whatever you do, maybe she sleeps really good for two hours. Okay. Well, there's, there's a two hour

00:12:46.560 window right there. And you know what? I bet your wife would appreciate you leaving her the hell alone 1.00

00:12:52.300 in that two hours. Cause she's up to here as well. If you are, she is probably even more so.

00:12:57.520 So say, Hey hon, you know, at seven o'clock from seven to nine, that's personal time for you. I'm

00:13:02.760 going to take from seven 30 to eight 30 and do a workout or go to jujitsu or get some things for the

00:13:07.040 house. So I can train here or go out into the garage or just go for a run or a hike. But look

00:13:13.900 at what your schedule is and then work in your physical training where you can. Yeah. Yeah.

00:13:19.820 You, and you might just need to be creative. I mean, sometimes we have these expectations of what

00:13:25.280 a quote unquote workout should look like. Well, maybe it's you taking the baby and going for a run

00:13:31.140 and you get a running stroller and now you're a runner until things get back to normal. And it's a

00:13:36.480 great way to get your child out and you know, you get active at the same time. So you just might

00:13:41.600 definitely let go of some expectation. I definitely would not recommend doing any running, but yeah,

00:13:47.360 anything other than that. Absolutely. I'm, I'm in pretty much agreement with you. Yeah. Yeah. Just

00:13:52.260 baby, uh, kettlebell swings with your child. Maybe. Yeah. I, I'm not going to condone that behavior

00:13:58.600 either, but I won't say I haven't done it. Totally. All right. Uh, Eckert 56 name one skill,

00:14:06.420 Mr. Mickler, you wish you had, but you do not. So, okay. So this is one of the questions I saw

00:14:11.520 and I actually liked this question. Okay. I was going to say, I kind of like it. I was thinking

00:14:15.740 about it on the way home. Cause I saw it. I made that post and I got in the car and drove. And so

00:14:22.040 this is one of the questions that I saw before we hopped on here. Um, it is an interesting

00:14:26.300 question. I will say it's hard for me to answer because I don't like the, the phrase wish what's

00:14:32.280 one, what's one skill you wish you had. Cause I could say a million things, but that, why would

00:14:37.540 I say that? I wish I could fill in the blank. Just do it. Just do it. If you wished it, you would

00:14:43.560 have already acted on it. Or maybe what's a, what's a skill that you have not yet determined to develop

00:14:50.680 or, or not. I would say the way that I think it should be framed is what's one skill you're

00:14:57.540 going to work on. Fair enough. I like it. But in the spirit of the question, which I, which I

00:15:02.740 understand, um, you know, I've thought about it a lot, like playing the guitar is one that I was doing,

00:15:09.640 but I stopped doing that. So I wish I had better skills with that. Uh, again, jujitsu, but again,

00:15:16.960 I'm, I'm working, I'm actively working to develop those skills right now, better learning how to

00:15:24.320 better communicate. All of the skills that I have, that I, that I have a desire to develop are things

00:15:29.400 that are actually, actually going to move the needle for me, that are going to push me in the

00:15:32.680 right direction. And all of the things that are important to me currently are the ones that I'm

00:15:37.140 actually working on right now. So let's take the guitar thing. I could say, I wish I could play the

00:15:43.200 guitar better, but I'm not practicing. So what right do I have to say? I wish I could be better.

00:15:50.420 So there's like a huge disconnect. And I'm not saying that he thinks there is, but I think there's

00:15:54.220 a lot of people out there who do think that, Hey, just wishing it, or just hoping that somehow it's

00:16:00.140 going to move the needle for you. Let's do away with the whole wish type thing and say, what are you

00:16:05.500 actively doing? What is actually important to you? So playing the guitar, frankly, is not that important

00:16:11.280 to me right now. If it was, I'd be doing it and I'm not. So therefore it's not as important as

00:16:15.540 maybe I led on to believe, or even lie to myself about whether it's guitar or something else.

00:16:21.000 Yeah. But I will say one other thing I thought about is I wish that I was more mechanically

00:16:25.880 inclined. That's something that I'm not at all. I don't know vehicles or any of that stuff. And I

00:16:31.100 actually really, it doesn't bother me, but it would be nice to be able to have some, some mechanical

00:16:37.080 knowledge when it comes to vehicles and cars and that sort of thing.

00:16:42.340 Yeah. I actually, I'd put that one on my list as well. I wish I was a little bit more

00:16:47.020 mechanically inclined. Yeah. So there it is. Got to do something about that. All right, Seth. No,

00:16:55.220 I'm not going to read that question. All right. Codename Kentucky recommendations for a beginner

00:16:59.880 archery hunting bow. You know, what I would do is I would just go into your local archer or archery shop

00:17:06.340 and I would, I would just tell them, Hey, I'm brand new. I've never picked up a bow or I did,

00:17:12.520 you know, 20 years ago. I don't know what the technology is and just ask them. And usually what

00:17:18.360 they'll do is they'll help you figure out your draw length, uh, your draw weight. They'll also,

00:17:24.540 uh, give you some basic instruction. They probably even have some bows there that you can practice on

00:17:31.280 and try and see what feels right. So that's the best thing that you can do. It's same thing with

00:17:36.240 a firearm, by the way, a lot of guys will say, what's the best firearm. There's a handful that

00:17:40.300 I would suggest are good everyday carry type firearms, but just go to the range, go to your

00:17:45.140 local gun dealer and tell them here's what's going on. I'd like to try a couple of different

00:17:50.240 pistols, see what's going to work best for me or my hand size. Like I, my everyday carry is a

00:17:55.860 Glock 43. It's a, it's a small compact single stack Glock nine millimeter. Well, a lot of guys

00:18:02.920 can't use it because they have big, way bigger hands and I have pretty small hands. So like it

00:18:06.600 actually fits into my hand pretty well. It's not going to work for everybody. Right? So you actually

00:18:10.320 have to go get your hands on it, try it out. Um, outside of that, I would go with a friend to

00:18:15.100 always go with a friend because they're going to offer insight and value, but these are people you're

00:18:18.920 also going to shoot with. So it's good to go do that stuff together. You can hit the range together,

00:18:23.680 but that's what I would suggest for whether it's a gun or a bow, anything like that.

00:18:29.320 Do you guys typically increase their draw? Uh, is it draw weight, um, over time? Because as you

00:18:37.980 shoot archery, you're getting stronger and then you need to increase or is it not that way?

00:18:44.020 No, it is that way. It's not that you're getting, I mean, technically, yes, you're getting stronger,

00:18:50.160 but it's the specific muscle group. And it's not even that it's the specific muscle group

00:18:55.440 that's getting stronger. So I've, I've got a bow. I shoot about 70 pounds is the draw weight that I

00:19:00.680 shoot. And for somebody who's never picked up a bow, I could take an individual. Have you shot a bow

00:19:08.340 much? Yeah, no, not much, but I shot one a few times. So you're, you're just as strong as I am,

00:19:15.140 maybe a little bit less probably, but let's just for the sake of argument, say that you and I are

00:19:20.500 about the same strength. Okay. Okay. Yeah. Hypothetically. Yeah. Yeah. In this, this hypothetical

00:19:25.840 world, you, you might, you're going to have a more difficult time pulling back my bow than I am

00:19:33.420 because of the, it's a weird movement when you're like stabilizing with one hand and pulling the

00:19:39.080 other. It's just a weird movement that people don't do a lot. If you row, that's probably going

00:19:42.680 to help. It's just a weird movement. So I've talked with guys and had guys actually shoot my bow who

00:19:49.280 are just as strong and capable as I am. And they can't even pull my bow back. So usually what guys

00:19:56.360 will do is they'll start lower and you can get a bow that has a range. So it might, you might start

00:20:01.720 at 50 pounds, for example, and you should like every man should be able to pull that back.

00:20:08.540 And so you draw the 50 pounds, work up to 55 and it has a range. So it might be that, that particular

00:20:14.940 bow might have a draw weight range of, you know, 50 to 80 or something, but every bow is a little

00:20:19.980 different. So you need to work through that, but yeah, usually you're going to start lower and work

00:20:23.240 your way into a higher poundage. And through that question, we just got like a little bit of

00:20:28.200 inside tip. If do not get a bow less than 50, or you're going to get made fun of, it sounds like.

00:20:34.640 I mean, you're, I'm not going to make fun of it, but my 13 year old kid is pulling 50 pounds. So

00:20:42.240 every man, I'm not saying that demeaning. I'm just saying every man should, should have no problem

00:20:46.940 with 50 pounds. All right. But, but honestly, like I'm registering that, right? Like I would not,

00:20:53.240 if I showed up at your house to go shoot and my draw weights 40, you would make fun of me. You'd

00:21:00.500 be like, I totally would a hundred percent. Well, we've got four or five Hoyt bows here that we run

00:21:06.360 with our, for our events. And I'll have to look cause I haven't written down, but I think the

00:21:10.000 draw weight is between 50 and 55 pounds up to 65 to 70 pounds. On all of those? On all of them.

00:21:17.400 There's different. Okay. So I know I can pull 50 cause I pulled one of those.

00:21:21.020 There isn't, there isn't one less than 50 pounds. So you're safe, brother. You're safe.

00:21:25.500 Done. All right. Just checking. I'm going to mess with you. I'm going to crank them up to 80 and say

00:21:29.480 they're only 50. What the hell? You can't pull that back? 0.76

00:21:34.420 Oh man. Uh, geez. These are these, you, you found good questions in here. These are horrible.

00:21:40.960 Uh, okay. Have you ever thought of competing in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu?

00:21:45.360 Yeah. I have thought about that. I haven't, but, um, but yeah, I mean, it's definitely a

00:21:51.840 consideration. I think there's a lot of learning. You could tell me more cause I know you've competed,

00:21:54.920 but I think in a short period of time you, you learn a lot and you really see how you stack up

00:22:01.360 against somebody that you never trained with potentially. So there's a lot to be said for

00:22:05.940 that. So, yeah, I think I probably will at some point. Again, I think it's great measurement.

00:22:10.120 Well, look for me, this comes down to priorities for me to take a Saturday to go do like go do a

00:22:18.160 tournament is probably not going to happen because I don't want to give up one of my Saturdays. Either

00:22:22.940 I'm traveling, doing something with a podcast or I'm here with my family. And I don't know. I will

00:22:29.040 tell you one thing I got jaded on in high school with wrestling and maybe Jiu Jitsu is different.

00:22:34.400 And I'm sure each tournament's a little different. Yeah. They are so poorly run and managed

00:22:38.720 that infuriates me. It's like people are sitting around, you got 10 mats and only one match going

00:22:45.120 on at a time. You got to wait for 17 effing hours before your next match. I, I am such an efficient

00:22:52.800 person and somebody who really values efficiency. Like there's, there's convenient stores in town.

00:22:59.680 I won't even go to because I get infuriated with the way that they run it. So I'm like, I can't,

00:23:04.460 I can't go into that store. I don't know if the tournament's the same way, but I just do not want

00:23:10.700 to play that game. Yeah. It depends on the promotion. Of course. Some, some are actually

00:23:15.540 well organized. Other ones are horrible. Right. For sure. All right. Let's find one of these good

00:23:22.040 questions. I mean, we got stuff like, do you like a Yeti cooler? Do you like the song purple rain? I mean,

00:23:28.240 like, I don't even know where you guys came up with this stuff. Okay. Book recommendations for my

00:23:34.060 10 year old son, Jofo prime. Uh, I was, when you said Jofo prime, I'm like, what is, what does that

00:23:42.480 mean? I didn't know. That's the guy's name. Yeah. Got it. Uh, 10 year old son, Jocko's books,

00:23:47.920 way the warrior kid series are really good. I think that's a great age range for a 10 year old.

00:23:52.420 Another one that of my personal favorites is hatchet. That's a really good one. Jack London's

00:23:59.420 got some amazing books. Uh, there's awesome books for, for kids, for boys, but they should

00:24:06.200 involve adventure and risk. Uh, Mark Twain, of course, you know, like there's, there's awesome

00:24:13.120 stuff out there. So I would say have it at be adventurous, have some risk-taking, um, manly

00:24:19.540 stuff like hatchet, like trying to survive in the wilderness. Like all of this stuff is,

00:24:23.320 is awesome, but there's three or four for you right off the bat. There you go. Any you would

00:24:28.200 add? No, I, the first ones that came to mind is way of the warrior kid. Yeah. I, I love those books.

00:24:34.440 In fact, my daughter's like going through, I think we're starting them over again because she wants

00:24:39.920 to read them again. Cool. So yeah. Um, all right, Shauna, Shauna Clayton, uh, some recommendations

00:24:48.200 on people who follow on Instagram that you would recommend. I don't, I mean, just whoever you like,

00:24:54.200 like, I don't know. Um, I personally follow, um, we follow all the same people. Just go through my

00:25:00.200 recommendations list. We follow all the same people. Yeah. Don't follow that guy though.

00:25:05.480 Yeah. I mean, that's the cool thing. So here's, okay. I'll give you some practical advice. If you

00:25:09.740 want to find people to follow on Instagram, what you do is you go in and you type in Instagram,

00:25:13.400 you go to the search bar and you type Ryan Mickler or whoever, hypothetically, that's what

00:25:20.400 you type in there. And then you click on my name and you click on the little following button right

00:25:24.800 there. And you can see everybody that I follow. So here's the first few that come right off the top.

00:25:30.400 Sean Whalen, uh, Andy Frisilla, Andy Stumpf, Madison Cawthorn, follow of court, Pete Roberts and

00:25:37.420 Origen, Jack Donovan, uh, Sal Frisilla, Evan Hafer, Chris Gatchko, Bert. I mean, guys,

00:25:43.880 Granger Smith. I'm not going to read them all to you. Just find who you like, whoever you resonate

00:25:49.160 with. Let's say it's me or Pete or, or, or Andy or whoever, just click that follow button.

00:25:54.280 Instagram has made it easy to see who you should follow. Zuby is another one. He's coming on the

00:25:58.280 podcast here in the next month or two, but they're, they're all on there. Bedros, Koulian,

00:26:02.900 they're there. It's kind of like a, the Google search function. You can take advantage of it,

00:26:07.520 but you gotta, gotta get after it. All right. Next question. Um, RDB smiles. Hey, Ryan really

00:26:17.560 would love to hear your thoughts on, uh, when building a business restaurant chain, possibly

00:26:22.480 do you prefer to bootstrap? Uh, what if there are no funds to bootstrap small business loan after

00:26:30.880 developing a business plan or trying to find an investor always feels like you need the money to

00:26:36.080 make money? Although I think that there's also probably an excuse. It might be, but it also

00:26:42.860 depends on the business. So my business, for example, is very low investment required. When I started,

00:26:53.520 I had a $70 microphone, an old computer, an old office chair and desk, uh, and that's really it.

00:27:00.640 So, and, and I think I paid 15 bucks a month to host my podcast on Libsyn. That's really all that

00:27:08.000 I had. So if it's that kind of business, even with t-shirts, you could have a, uh, uh, printing

00:27:14.720 business that they'll just print one-off shirts as they're ordered. Now you're not going to make as

00:27:19.600 much doing that, but at least you can try. You always talk about a kit, that minimum viable

00:27:24.220 product, and you're not having to buy 200 shirts at a time, having them sit in your house and then

00:27:29.040 not being able to say, sell a dang one of them. So now you're talking about a potential restaurant 0.98

00:27:34.320 chain. Okay. If you need to buy into a franchise, obviously you have to have the capital. If you're

00:27:40.300 talking about starting your own restaurant, which I don't know that I would recommend, I would

00:27:45.040 definitely find a business partner and or investor on that. Somebody who's already done that

00:27:48.700 because that's a crazy business from what I hear, then some capital is probably going to be required

00:27:54.320 because you're going to need to buy machinery and cooking equipment and rent cash registers and

00:27:59.620 booths and tables and chairs and the space. And then you're going to have to do a build out on the

00:28:03.220 space. And so if that's what you want to do, having an investor or having some capital is going to be

00:28:08.560 a requirement, but just be smart. You use your head. Don't get overly emotional. Don't turn

00:28:15.320 whatever it is, your idea into this sacred cow that you just won't touch or won't look at from

00:28:20.980 a rational, reasonable perspective. You're going to be excited about that. That's good. You should

00:28:25.560 be excited about it. But if that's the only factor, your level of excitement, then you probably

00:28:32.240 have some blind spots and setting yourself up for failure. So more so than asking me if you should have

00:28:40.780 capital or no capital or bootstrap or get an investor is you should really talk with somebody

00:28:46.120 who's been hyper successful in the industry that you're trying to go into. And I've never owned a

00:28:51.380 restaurant and I have no desire to own a restaurant. So anything that I told you would be, well, it would

00:28:57.160 just be unqualified advice. So find somebody that's done it. Ask them that question. That's the better way

00:29:03.200 to ask that. Yeah. If you don't mind me sharing, I think I'm going to slaughter this story a little

00:29:09.940 bit, but a friend of a friend started a chain here. And I actually, I think it's in multiple states in

00:29:16.580 the Midwest or in the Southwest called Sweeto Burrito. And the way he started that chain, it was a food truck

00:29:25.260 in North Dakota. Right. Great point. Great point. It was a food truck that everyone loved. And then they

00:29:31.640 bought out the food truck company and made it into a restaurant chain. Great point. MVP. Yeah. Right.

00:29:38.000 So there's, there's some strategies. And I think too, like if I came to you, Ryan, and said, Hey,

00:29:43.200 I want to open up a food restaurant chain or whatever. And I don't have anything to show you

00:29:48.040 that's going to be unique about this restaurant, or that's going to be a hard decision for you to invest

00:29:54.100 in my quote unquote idea. If I don't have something right to prove that it's going to be a valuable or

00:30:00.200 it's, you know, people like it or, or, or whatever. So, yeah, there's another example,

00:30:05.760 as you said that, because that's a really good story. There's a place a couple of miles from here

00:30:09.920 and they probably just rented a space from whoever owns the complex next to them. It's this big empty

00:30:17.680 parking lot and they poured a bunch of gravel and they have a trailer that they pulled in and it's a

00:30:23.440 semi-permanent trailer now. Cause they've done a little build out, but it's clearly a trailer,

00:30:26.940 but they did a build out and built, you know, frame around it and whatnot. And I imagine the

00:30:31.840 way that I see it going, and I've actually never been there, but if that place does well enough

00:30:36.420 that the next thing you'll see is you'll see maybe a little bit more of a permanent structure,

00:30:41.320 or they'll move from this place to this other place and they'll start leasing an actual space,

00:30:46.240 like you said, and then it'll grow and grow and grow, and then they'll have their next

00:30:49.440 thing and so on and so forth. So there are ways to do that. I'm just not qualified to share them,

00:30:55.000 but that is a great point you bring up. Charles William, I know you lean conservative,

00:31:00.700 but are there certain liberal values you wish the right would embrace and adopt?

00:31:09.120 Uh, I mean, I would say that anymore, I'm more of a libertarian more so like just leave everybody

00:31:19.400 alone and let them to their devices. I'm, I tend to be a pretty black and white guy. So,

00:31:24.960 I mean, maybe if you had some policy that you would consider a liberal policy,

00:31:29.800 I would be able to more specifically tell you, yes, I agree or no, I don't, but generally I just

00:31:35.920 want to be left alone. Um, I want the government to deal with our border security and our nation's

00:31:43.340 defense and pretty much want to be left alone to do what I want to do outside of that. And I think

00:31:49.220 other people should as well. So whatever side of the aisle and issue falls on, it's probably going

00:31:55.940 to be that leave us alone, let people make their own decisions. Now I believe in law and order. Of

00:32:00.540 course, I believe that there needs to be some rules. I also believe that there should be a level playing

00:32:04.820 field now that that's equality under the law, not necessarily equity, which is equal outcomes. I don't

00:32:13.120 believe in that. Everybody's different. Kip, you and I are different. And even if we were

00:32:17.400 twins and we were raised the same way, our outcomes would be different because of the way that we

00:32:22.940 think and experiences that we have individually and collectively, or the way we determine them and

00:32:27.100 interpret them. So equal, equal, uh, equality under the law. And outside of that, again,

00:32:37.400 protect our borders, defend our nation, let States make their own decisions about education,

00:32:43.260 abortion, abortion, some of these other issues, and then just let people make their decisions, period.

00:32:50.580 Yeah. Got it. Alec M. Falk, as a follower of Christ and building my own financial planning

00:32:59.740 business, almost five years in, I'm trying to make the shift from depending on, uh, make the shift

00:33:05.360 from depending on me less and on God more in the Bible and church. We say that it's all up to God,

00:33:11.920 but I still have to do the work in the past. I have worked like it was all up to me and the stress

00:33:17.880 I put on myself through was not healthy or sustainable. Now that I have given my business

00:33:23.520 and the success that comes with it to God, I feel the weight has been lifted off my shoulders and I

00:33:29.540 have a better business and relationship with God. Do you ever make that shift in mindset to depend

00:33:35.360 more on God and, and release high self expectations?

00:33:41.320 My philosophy is this, and I'm a Christian, but my philosophy is this,

00:33:45.960 do what you can do good and go as hard as you can and let the chips fall where they may.

00:33:53.320 I believe that if I do everything that I individually can, I work hard, I do what's right.

00:33:58.620 I strive to be a good and decent human being. I work to make myself more capable.

00:34:04.100 It's going to be inadequate. And I feel like God will make up the difference for me.

00:34:09.640 My fear for so many people who are Christians is that they do it the other way around. 0.87

00:34:17.020 I'm just going to rely so heavily on God and God and God, he's going to do this. He's going to do all

00:34:20.680 these things. He's going to make my wildest dreams come true and I don't have to do anything.

00:34:23.440 And they've got it backwards. And I would suggest to you that God says, you do everything that you

00:34:29.820 possibly can to be a good and decent human being, to make yourself more capable. All the things I

00:34:34.080 just said, and I will make up the difference. And I acknowledge his hand in all things. Even look,

00:34:42.500 even the things that I personally do, for example, I feel like I run a pretty good podcast.

00:34:48.700 So it'd be easy to say, I did this. I built this. No, I didn't build this. I have talents and gifts

00:34:56.840 and abilities and opportunities in a mindset and experiences that were all presented to me through

00:35:03.140 him. And I've been able to capitalize on those opportunities, but look, I'm healthy. Maybe I

00:35:10.180 already have the predisposition to be a great communicator or to be a great networker or to be

00:35:14.520 curious. Those aren't things that I necessarily developed. I sure I have a little bit, but there

00:35:20.540 might just be some of that inherent in my personality. And I acknowledge his hand in that.

00:35:25.320 So we need to be mindful of using the talents, gifts, abilities, and opportunities that he has

00:35:30.640 presented doing all that we can with those opportunities and gifts. And then being understanding

00:35:37.460 that he's going to fill in the blanks. And also this, here's another thing. We don't always know the

00:35:42.500 plan. So you might be doing everything that you possibly can to grow your business or to fix that

00:35:48.660 relationship or whatever it is you're working on. And the result doesn't turn out the way that you

00:35:55.180 would like it. And it would be easy to say, I've done everything. Why don't you help me and forsake him

00:36:02.180 in that moment? It would be easy to do that. And in fact, I have done that. And then you fast forward

00:36:08.120 five years and you look back at that experience, you're like, Oh, got it. What I wanted wasn't what

00:36:16.160 he wanted for me. And so he was preparing me for what I'm into right now. That's my take.

00:36:25.100 Yeah. I like it. All right. Xavier Morgan, how do you, what do you do when your profession no longer

00:36:33.980 aligns with your values? I'm an active duty Marine and I have a few buddies who wonder the same thing.

00:36:39.560 Our job takes us away from our families for long periods of time. I have always thought that being

00:36:43.940 a good Marine would make me a good husband and father and vice versa. I completely agree with your

00:36:49.500 take on work life balance, but the nature of the job does not allow for that, which is why I'm

00:36:55.100 considering switching professions, but I can't seem to let go. Would love to hear your thoughts. Thank you.

00:37:01.100 Look, there's probably some reasons. So as a, as a Marine, there's probably some reasons that you're

00:37:06.660 having a hard time letting go because there's a lot of value that comes from that, that you still

00:37:10.980 align with. And you've been, I'm trying to think about the way to say this. I'm trying to be selective

00:37:18.980 with my words. I'll just say it this way. You've been conditioned to be loyal from right Marine Corps.

00:37:27.120 You're a Marine. Once a Marine, always a Marine. Like you have been conditioned to be loyal.

00:37:31.100 And there's nothing wrong with that. But once you start to see that your current trajectory is not

00:37:36.480 serving you or the people that you care about, or is not in alignment with your values, you make the

00:37:41.860 simple, not easy, the simple choice to move into something that is going to be more in alignment with

00:37:49.920 your values and your goals and your objectives. It's that simple. It really is. And so we complicate it and

00:37:56.120 we think, well, you know, am I quitting? What are the guys going to think of me? Or I have this,

00:38:01.740 you know, package. I've got 12 years in now. I got it. I'm almost eight years away from retirement.

00:38:06.840 And so we suffer needlessly because we allow some factors to, well, we give those factors more weight

00:38:14.980 than they should. So what I would suggest to you is that if you feel like it's no longer in alignment,

00:38:21.700 whether it's the Marine Corps or the army or selling insurance and investments like I was doing,

00:38:27.320 then you actively today, start today, work towards creating your next mission, whatever that is.

00:38:36.340 So when I was doing the financial planning stuff, my next mission was order of man. I was building

00:38:42.020 order of man while I was doing my financial planning stuff. And in the military, you have great options

00:38:47.300 for transitioning and you've got time. You also have contracts that you may need to see all the way

00:38:52.400 through to the end, but look, you've got a window right now. So take advantage of this window because

00:38:58.080 the last thing I want to have happen, and this goes for any military member, is for them to hit

00:39:03.320 retirement or decide that they're going to leave the military and not really have a strategy moving

00:39:09.780 forward. A lot of military members do that and it's teasing them up for failure because they feel

00:39:15.260 worthless. They feel helpless. They've lost the brotherhood. They've lost the camaraderie. They've

00:39:19.760 lost the discipline in the structure that comes with the military. And they didn't take advantage

00:39:26.260 of the time that they knew they were going to transition out to the time they're actually

00:39:29.360 transitioning out. So be building something right now, be working towards something right now.

00:39:34.540 And that transition, well, let me say it this way. Let me have you wrap your head around this.

00:39:40.580 If you already knew what you were going to do when you got out of the military, like you already had

00:39:45.700 a plan in place. He said, I'm going to move on to this thing and me and my buddies are going to grow

00:39:48.800 this business or we're going to start this thing. Would you leave? If today was already in place,

00:39:55.640 if the plan was in place, you knew what it was going to be, would you leave? And the answer is yes,

00:40:01.020 right? I'm assuming based on the question. Okay. So if the answer is yes,

00:40:06.620 then all that's missing is the next step. You already know you want to transition out.

00:40:12.000 You just need the next step. So take this time right now to build that out. So when the time

00:40:16.680 comes, you'll be able to do it. Copy. Dave River 15, any thoughts on bad selfishness

00:40:24.720 and how to stop thinking about myself above other people's needs?

00:40:28.260 I tend to be a pretty selfish individual. That's like my natural inclination is to look after me

00:40:36.380 and mine and to hell with everything else. And sometimes I leave a wake of collateral damage

00:40:40.600 in my path. That's just how it's been being 40 years on this planet. So it is something I personally

00:40:47.480 need to be mindful of. And what I found is that if you can give yourself to a cause greater than you,

00:40:53.600 that's very important, then you'll be less selfish. So order of man for me is that cause.

00:40:59.480 I want to see men thrive. I want to see young men be able to transition successfully into manhood. I

00:41:06.920 want marriages to thrive. I want you guys to make money and to be healthy and to live fulfilled lives.

00:41:13.080 That's what I want. And because that's what I want, then I am more able to focus on other people.

00:41:20.500 A great example is this morning. I could have very easily said, I don't want to do a podcast today,

00:41:25.640 but it's too important for me not to do a podcast. Not for me, because I would have loved to sleep in.

00:41:32.080 I'd love to see my family. There's a lot of things I'd love to do right now, but I'm here doing this

00:41:37.860 podcast because I care about the work and therefore I'm going to sacrifice what I want in order to give

00:41:45.280 you what I interpret or feel like you as men need who listen to this podcast.

00:41:49.740 So maybe the reason you're selfish is because you haven't found or discovered or created

00:41:56.360 anything more important than yourself yet. And if that's the case, that should be a red flag that

00:42:04.420 maybe you're missing some meaning in your life. And I would be working very diligently to create

00:42:13.820 and discover and uncover that meaning that will allow you to be less selfish.

00:42:19.200 Yeah. If it's not obvious, right? The benefits is far more than just being less selfish, right? If you

00:42:26.520 think about what comes with a purpose-driven life and making your time on this rock more valuable than

00:42:34.900 just your own personal gain, I mean, obviously the results is far greater than just a refocus of time

00:42:41.860 and effort. Well, and the ironic thing is that by serving other people in a meaningful and significant

00:42:49.200 way, you actually get a lot out of it. I feel fulfilled. I feel uplifted. I have developed my own

00:42:57.700 set of skills. I am making more money than I ever have. Right? So it's a little backwards. It's a little

00:43:03.580 counterintuitive, but I can tell you from experience as a, as a selfish person myself, that when you

00:43:10.860 serve other people in a meaningful way, it's inevitable that you will be served as well. Zig Ziglar said it

00:43:16.860 best. If you help enough people get what they want, you will inevitably get what it is you want. So you

00:43:23.000 can't, you can't separate the two. And I think a lot of people believe that like, Oh, if I donate

00:43:27.840 money or time or charity or resources or time or attention or energy, I don't get anything out of it

00:43:32.840 or I don't get that back. No, it's actually an investment in yourself. It's very counterintuitive,

00:43:38.880 but anybody who's given back and served or found a meaning or a purpose or a mission higher than

00:43:44.840 themselves understands that they can't just extrapolate themselves from that equation.

00:43:50.200 Yeah. All right. Dishy man. What is one good strategy to deal with and overcome distractions?

00:43:59.800 I would make a plan. That's the most important thing you could do because if you don't have a plan,

00:44:04.900 you're just going to get tossed to and fro and I don't know where to go. And Oh, there's that. Oh,

00:44:08.800 this looks enticing. Oh, I can go to this. Shiny object of the day. Yeah. Right. Right. So if you

00:44:13.900 haven't charted your course, if we're looking at a, you know, a ship or, or you're going to,

00:44:19.120 you know, go to Disneyland with your family and you haven't charted that course of how you're going

00:44:22.740 to get there, how do you decide what's the most effective way to get there? Well, you base it on

00:44:27.000 what's in front of you at the moment, but what's in front of you at the moment is bright and shiny

00:44:30.940 object syndrome, especially for people who have the, the tendency to go this direction where they're

00:44:37.980 just so easily distracted, formulate a plan for what you want. So one thing I know about the fitness

00:44:45.440 industry is that a lot of guys will bounce from program to program, to program, to program,

00:44:50.660 because they're not experiencing the results that they want, or they get bored or whatever.

00:44:54.280 Okay. Well, the best results you're going to experience is when you actually stick to a program

00:44:58.720 for the prescribed period of time and complete the program. So you have to have a program and you have

00:45:06.940 to stick with it. And if you commit to the program, in this case, you know, the plan of action,

00:45:12.300 then you aren't going to be distracted by these things. They might be enticing, but you made the

00:45:18.400 commitment. So if you're going to do 75 hard, for example, then do 75 hard. Don't do 32 medium and

00:45:27.520 then get distracted by the next, next 60 day summer ab challenge that comes along, like actually commit

00:45:36.000 to what you're going to do, see it through. And then when it's done, you can evaluate it and decide,

00:45:40.560 okay, I want to do that again, continue down the course, or I want to try something different based

00:45:44.520 on the results that I experienced or the results that I'm after, but chart your course, commit to

00:45:51.760 that plan of action. And then only then will you evaluate. I did that when we started the podcast,

00:45:57.020 I committed to doing a podcast every week, weekly for two years. So that's over a hundred episodes.

00:46:04.040 My personal commitment was to yourself. That was my personal. I'm going to do this for two years.

00:46:08.980 We period, period. And after two years, only after two years, would I then evaluate whether

00:46:16.680 or not I wanted to continue to do it or not? No, that's not to say that I didn't evaluate it along

00:46:21.580 the road to make it better and improve it and see where I could get enhanced the quality of things.

00:46:27.420 But I didn't, I wasn't going to throw in the towel until two years. We did the same thing when we

00:46:32.320 moved to Maine. My wife and I talked about it. We said, we're going to give ourselves

00:46:35.060 two solid, fully committed years in Maine, like not dipping our toe in the water, not like seeing,

00:46:42.460 no, we're going all in for two years. And after two years, then we'll evaluate whether we want to

00:46:49.220 stay or whether we want to go. But we come, we had a plan of action. We're both on the same page

00:46:54.460 about it. We committed to the course of action. And in both of those examples that I gave you,

00:46:59.400 it actually ended up turning out pretty favorably. And I would argue that if you do it that way,

00:47:04.100 it's going to turn out more favorably than not. If you create the plan of action and you commit to

00:47:09.860 the plan of action and you see it through to the end. Yeah. Sam Broadway had a similar question. So

00:47:15.540 let's see if you'd add anything to what you're saying. He says, what metric do you use to personally,

00:47:19.840 what metrics do you personally use to track your own success? And this is a good,

00:47:25.320 or we can talk about battle plans and whatnot, but go ahead. Yeah. And to your point about battle

00:47:31.200 plan, tracking your success really depends on what it is you're trying to accomplish. So

00:47:36.700 income is certainly a metric that I evaluate. How's the business doing? How's the income? How's

00:47:46.260 the debt to income? All that stuff. I track all of that. So that's an important metric. I'll look at

00:47:50.120 my personal accounts and my investments and I'll track that. I'll look at just the quality of the

00:47:56.260 relationships that I have. And that is a little more difficult. And I tend to be more intuitive

00:48:02.280 on that. Like I'll ask myself, how was my relationship with my wife right now? It's good

00:48:07.100 at in the not too distant past, it was disconnected. So I asked myself, how is this relationship? Oh,

00:48:14.060 it's disconnected. It feels like I'm living with a roommate, not my, my beautiful bride. So

00:48:18.660 what can I do to change that? So that's a more intuitive answer that I look at. But the hard

00:48:24.440 data is easy. You know, you look at podcast downloads, you look at income, you jump on the

00:48:28.780 scale, you look at your, your, your deadlift and how much you're lifting or not lifting. Those are

00:48:34.020 easy. It's the soft ones typically when it comes to relationships that are more challenging. And I tend

00:48:39.920 to be more intuitive. How does it feel? Does it feel on track? What are the pain points? What are the

00:48:47.840 issues? What can you do to improve it? And through asking yourself those questions, you start to

00:48:52.680 unpack some plans of action moving forward. Yeah. And I think at least on the business side,

00:48:59.240 one thing that has really been present for me of late is just making a distinction of leading

00:49:05.720 indicators, right? Like I, it's good to understand where, how we are succeeding, but what are the

00:49:12.760 leading indicators that led to that success? And, and let's now have some metrics and some KPIs around

00:49:19.500 those. So then that way we ensure that we're succeeding, right? Right. Basic way of looking at

00:49:25.540 this is leads opportunities and projects, right? It's like, okay, for us to have that much business

00:49:32.460 that required these many closed opportunities and those closed opportunities required this many leads.

00:49:37.420 So now let's put some indicator, indications, some metrics around those leads, Jen. So that way we

00:49:43.380 ensure that we have that proper level of leads and we just don't sit back and go, oh crap, business is 0.94

00:49:49.820 slow. And now, you know, you're, you're too delayed, right? Because those are lagging indicators. 0.85

00:49:55.340 So that's, I like that, but let's apply that also to your relationships. There's lead indicators in

00:50:01.180 your relationship too, that you ought to pay attention to. Some people call them red flags or whatever,

00:50:05.800 but there's indicators that are there. If you're in tune with it, you're paying attention that you'll

00:50:11.100 see your wife will say something. She might just say it in passing, or she might not say anything,

00:50:16.340 but you just see a little shift in her personality or your relationship together. Leading indicators,

00:50:23.760 don't wait until, and most guys will do this until you have a blowup, an argument, or even worse,

00:50:30.160 go straight to separation or divorce, or she cheats, or you cheat. Catch those leading indicators as

00:50:35.360 quickly as you possibly can. Yeah. And, and I, you know, I read a book around troubled teens right now

00:50:41.120 and the same thing for children. There, there are red flags that most people, most parents ignore

00:50:47.660 because they're uncomfortable. And then before you know it, we have habits formed and we have

00:50:52.820 a separation in relationships and we have, you know, drifting apart between child and parent because

00:50:58.680 we didn't address the things up front. And there's a lot of, uh, indicators there.

00:51:03.440 I, it it's, this is such an important topic because it's, we're talking about business and

00:51:08.560 money and relationships, but it also applies to this country. You know, I've heard from a lot of

00:51:11.980 people who say, Oh, it's not that bad. Oh, it's just this. It's just that there's a lot of red flags

00:51:17.320 that we as a country are, we, I should say, we as citizens of this country are overlooking because

00:51:21.660 we're saying to ourselves, Oh, it's not that bad. Oh, it's just this. Oh, it's just that.

00:51:26.040 And so we're justifying the behavior. And then the precedent is being set that we're easily

00:51:30.080 trampled. We're pushed around, we're manipulated, we're coerced, and we're not willing to stand up

00:51:34.460 for ourselves. So it applies to our country. It applies to relationships. It applies to business.

00:51:40.680 It even applies to your own personal goals and ambitions. You know, if you want to get locked in

00:51:45.900 with your diet and nutrition, for example, and, uh, you know, you realize that, Hey, at late at night,

00:51:51.880 and this is my struggle, I get bored a little bit. And so I like to eat. Okay.

00:51:56.020 Well, that's a little red flag. It's not okay to do it. And you might say, well, it's okay. I've

00:52:01.260 justified it. You know, I worked hard today. That's one of the things I say, I earned it.

00:52:06.360 Uh, it's just, just, just this, you know, just tonight, but tomorrow I'll be no, none of that.

00:52:13.220 Don't let that stuff in address it early and often you'll be significantly better served if you do.

00:52:18.960 And so will the people you care about. Another thing I had for Sam around metrics, um, within the iron

00:52:24.620 council, we do our goal setting around, um, a tooling called the battle plan and which you can

00:52:32.460 obviously read about within Ryan's book, but there's a couple of resources. If you go to

00:52:37.260 store.orderofman.com, you can get a paper version of that battle plan. If you're like Ryan and you're

00:52:42.800 like eighties, 80 years old and don't feel comfortable using a computer and have to use

00:52:47.720 paper. I am an old soul. I really, even as a kid, I always felt like I was like 50 years old. So all

00:52:54.700 my friends make fun of me. So you can go paper route. If you want to go that you store.orderofman.com,

00:53:01.200 or you can actually even get the mobile app, uh, from the Apple store or Google play. Um,

00:53:09.020 or just go to 12 week battle planner.com. Uh, and you can purchase the app from there as well.

00:53:13.980 And that's the tooling that we use within the iron council for like tracking our success and our

00:53:18.620 metrics around what we're doing. That's right. Cool. Let's take a couple more. All right. Yeah. So,

00:53:24.040 uh, really digging actually, you know what? It's funny at I'm reading these questions. I'm like, okay,

00:53:29.540 wait, there are some really good ones. Some of them are towards the bottom. So we're going to

00:53:32.940 have to maybe come back to these next, uh, next week. Uh, Sophia Lauren, uh, a woman listener and 1.00

00:53:39.660 question. We don't get these too often, at least not questions. Are there any good podcast answer?

00:53:45.580 Only men. We don't help women. That's not our focus. He men woman hater club here. Just kidding.

00:53:50.840 It's club. Yeah, totally. All right. What does Sophia have? Let's hear it. All right. Are there any

00:53:55.900 good podcasts out there that speak more to the mom's role on racing a boy into a man? We are

00:54:01.860 welcoming our first son into the world any day now. I wish I could tell you, honestly, I don't know

00:54:07.560 right off hand. I actually had a good conversation with a friend of mine, uh, at total archery challenge

00:54:11.680 this weekend because she's considering starting a podcast. And I told her that this is, it's funny

00:54:16.880 you asked this because I told her this is one of the most common questions I get from women. There's 1.00

00:54:21.480 two questions I get from women. Number one, how do I raise my son as a single mother? 1.00

00:54:27.560 Number two, where's the women's equivalent of what you're doing? And she actually touched on both 1.00

00:54:32.800 raising sons and the female equivalent of what we're doing. I don't know if you guys have some 0.99

00:54:37.800 great resources on that, please let us know. Uh, I, I wish I had a better resource. There's a lot of

00:54:45.060 women out there that I've seen talking about this stuff, but it seems to me that the women who are 1.00

00:54:51.720 doing this are more talking about how to grind, how to hustle. And it's all business related. And I

00:54:58.040 don't talk about that all the time. There's a lot of Instagram things, a lot of podcasts that talk

00:55:03.500 about men grinding and hustling and working. It's important. It has its place, but guys like this,

00:55:09.460 I want, I'm, I'm more well-rounded at least I'm trying to be. And that's what I'm trying to give you.

00:55:13.220 So I've, it's, it's been hard to find a woman who does that too, because a woman who's out there 0.65

00:55:18.640 doing a podcast like this is going to try to think about the best way to say this is she's going to

00:55:24.920 be a little bit more masculine in her approach to life. I think just because of the nature of what 0.94

00:55:32.740 she's doing, like she's going to get out there. She's a go-getter. She's hustling. She's grind. 1.00

00:55:36.100 She's doing that. I would love to see a woman who is a state, excuse me, a stay at home mom, 1.00

00:55:42.820 somebody who wants to be balanced, somebody who wants to raise her children and maybe does also 1.00

00:55:48.060 have a career or not. That's what I'd like to see, but I, I haven't yet seen it. And I've been

00:55:53.240 trying to convince my wife to do it for years and she won't. So, um, I do think, correct me if I'm

00:55:59.540 wrong, if you agree or not. I mean, you probably are. I mean, that's like, but I think the boy crisis

00:56:05.800 is a great resource. I, some of it's a little, maybe a little too, some of his viewpoints, I

00:56:13.160 obviously don't agree with like politically, but the foundation that he lays of the dilemma

00:56:19.660 that boys are raised into in our society. And some of the dichotomies of being a boy or a man,

00:56:27.280 I think is highly insightful. And I think that would be from a mother's perspective. You need

00:56:33.060 to understand kind of this odd, I don't know, this odd society and world in which your boy's

00:56:39.720 being raised in and what's being expected of him, um, and asked of him in a really unique way.

00:56:46.860 And it is somewhat unique. If you think about it, it's very interesting.

00:56:50.840 I think that's a great point. Uh, there's also a book that came to mind as you said that,

00:56:55.580 which is wild at heart. Yeah. If you want to understand why men are the way they are and

00:57:02.120 what they do and what they're after as a mother, it seems like you're very interested in that.

00:57:07.520 Then go read wild at heart. And here's what I would say. Don't assume or attempt to correct it.

00:57:17.060 Okay. But that's probably what you'll be tempted to do. Whoa. That's not right. Because I feel this

00:57:23.560 way. Right. Because you're a woman and that's not wrong either. But if you really want to strive

00:57:29.220 to understand your boys, then don't take a great book like that and try to interpret it through

00:57:35.800 your female vision, just accept it, embrace it. You don't even have to fully understand it. You know, 0.78

00:57:40.700 one of the premises and wild at heart, for example, uh, that, that is a question that every man or

00:57:45.740 attempt is attempting to ask himself is, do I have what it takes? Now you might hear that as a woman

00:57:52.360 and think, well, they're measuring themselves on performance and how they, yes, yes. And you don't

00:57:59.800 have to agree with it. You don't have to like it. You don't have to understand it, but it is. So the

00:58:06.800 better that you can wrap your head around it and just embrace it for what it is, the more opportunities

00:58:10.920 you can create for your sons where they can attempt to begin to answer that question in the

00:58:17.540 affirmative in their own lives. Yeah. All right. Uh, Nate Duffy morning, sir. My name is Nathan

00:58:24.620 Duffy. I am 19 years old. I've been listening to the podcast for about two weeks now, and I got to

00:58:29.320 say it has truly been beneficial getting the insight that you and your guests provide. With that said,

00:58:34.760 I'm curious, how do you strive to maintain balance within your life on a daily basis as stressors go,

00:58:41.680 uh, as stressors grow and kids, family work and the rest that are introduced. I know a routine is

00:58:48.260 crucial, but I just wanted, wanted some insights on how to do that. Thank you, sir. And have a great

00:58:54.180 day. Yeah. So go back last week and the week before and the week before that we were always talking

00:58:59.500 about work-life balance. And so this is, again, we've talked about it actually earlier today. This is the

00:59:04.160 same thing that you're getting into. Yes. There's stressors. Yes. There's challenges. And I think you even

00:59:08.860 use the term balance. Sometimes it's going to be perfectly distributed. And most of the time it's

00:59:14.500 not going to be perfectly distributed. So I feel like a little bit, I answered this question in

00:59:18.560 telling you that you ought to look at the indicators, look at the results when you aren't producing what

00:59:24.000 you want in different facets of your life. That's where you make the pivots and reallocate your assets.

00:59:29.760 Hey, when I say reallocate your assets, I'm talking about your time to attention and energy.

00:59:34.080 So as an example, Ryan, go ahead. Well, I want to make sure that I understand. So,

00:59:42.200 I mean, are you saying, okay, I'm stressed out and the balance is, hey, stop doing some work and get

00:59:49.760 some personal time or relaxed time in, or is it something else? And is it more meditation or is it

00:59:58.300 more thoughtfulness? Like what is the balance to, to being stressed out with all these things going

01:00:06.240 on? Get to the balance to being stressed out is get your shit done and don't commit to things that 0.80

01:00:13.040 you get stressed out about anymore. Cause I've been stressed out in my life. I'm a little stressed out 0.88

01:00:18.660 right now because for the last three weeks I've been traveling. So I've been a little distant with

01:00:23.160 our, our iron council, our brotherhood. I've been a little distant with my family. I haven't been able

01:00:28.000 to hit all of my obligations and responsibilities the way I would have liked. I'm not a hundred

01:00:32.140 percent on those things because I've been traveling so much. And I actually take great joy in meeting

01:00:37.040 people and being out there and advancing what we're doing here. But I've done an after action

01:00:41.980 review and I realize, okay, I can't travel this way, or I can't do a podcast right when I get back

01:00:50.180 from traveling. So I adjust the way that I show up in the future. So I don't create this unnecessary

01:00:56.140 stress that I have in my life. I learned to say no more effectively. I put the boundaries in place.

01:01:02.200 I know how I'm going to feel and how I'm going to perform, which I'm not interested in doing. And so I

01:01:06.500 correct the situation after you meet your obligations. Cause what I don't want to have happen

01:01:12.920 is because you're stressed out, you just let everything go. Okay. That's not manly behavior

01:01:17.380 because you made commitments. You made agreements with people. They're relying upon you. So do what

01:01:23.780 you said you're going to do, but don't continue to do that stuff. All right, guys, not sure what's

01:01:29.100 going on with the technology, but we cut out again. So I let Kip go. I think we got through most of the

01:01:34.580 questions that we wanted to. So we'll get the technology on my end worked out. But just wanted

01:01:39.580 to cap this out. Let you guys know, I appreciate you tuning in and listening in. Make sure you share,

01:01:43.980 subscribe, rate, review, uh, spread the good word, what we're doing here, reclaiming and

01:01:48.500 restoring masculinity. And let's get after there and, uh, and, and be men. All right, guys, we'll

01:01:53.580 be back, uh, on Friday until then go out there, take action and become the man you are meant to be.

01:01:59.320 Thank you for listening to the order of man podcast. You're ready to take charge of your life

01:02:03.660 and be more of the man you were meant to be. We invite you to join the order at order of man.com.

01:02:13.980 You're going to be, uh, um, you'll be like, well, wait, uh,

01:02:21.520 one, two, three, three, four, four, four, five, 15,一次, McMahon,

01:02:24.860 audio, one, two, three, four, five,

01:02:28.400 one, three, five, six, seven, eight, nine, six, seven, seven, six, eight, eight,230,

01:02:33.860 nine, six, Seven, w r eight, nine, 7, 12, twice, nine, ten, ten, ten, ten, ten, ten, ten, ten, ten, ten, ten

Order of Man - July 28, 2021

Making Simple (But Not Easy) Choices, Addressing Red Flags Early and Often, and Overcoming Distraction Once and For All ｜ ASK ME ANYTHING

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Order of Man - July 28, 2021

Making Simple (But Not Easy) Choices, Addressing Red Flags Early and&#xA0;Often, and Overcoming Distraction Once and For All ｜ ASK ME ANYTHING

Episode Stats

Summary

Transcript

Making Simple (But Not Easy) Choices, Addressing Red Flags Early and Often, and Overcoming Distraction Once and For All ｜ ASK ME ANYTHING