Making Simple (But Not Easy) Choices, Addressing Red Flags Early and Often, and Overcoming Distraction Once and For All ｜ ASK ME ANYTHING
Episode Stats
Length
1 hour and 2 minutes
Words per Minute
190.65552
Summary
In this episode, Ryan and I talk about his experience at the Knocker Total Archery Challenge in Park City, Utah. We talk about the tournament and some of the crazy things he did to get there. We also talk a little bit about golf and some other things that go on in our lives.
Transcript
00:00:00.000
You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest. Embrace your fears and boldly chart
00:00:04.980
your own path. When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time. Every time.
00:00:10.420
You are not easily deterred or defeated. Rugged. Resilient. Strong. This is your life. This is who
00:00:17.160
you are. This is who you will become. At the end of the day, and after all is said and done,
00:00:22.720
you can call yourself a man. Hey, what's up, man? Great to see you. Again,
00:00:27.040
I think this is the second week in a row where I've got back in the morning and then have to
00:00:32.040
record a podcast. I don't want to say it like that. I have the opportunity to record a podcast
00:00:37.100
an hour, hour and a half later. But I will say one of the nice things, we've got a chiropractor
00:00:42.760
who makes house calls. And so we had it scheduled so that he would come this morning. So I got home,
00:00:49.620
had a little chiropractic session, and here we are podcasting.
00:00:52.520
Oh, I thought we were going to do the session right now during the chiropractic session.
00:00:58.520
No, bro. I fall asleep. I fall asleep during the chiropractic session. So I would be useless at
00:01:03.760
that point. That's funny. Yeah, man. Cool, cool. And you just got back from what's the event called?
00:01:11.140
Knocker. Total Archery Challenge. Pack. That's right. Pack. Yeah. So just kind of imagine golf
00:01:19.280
for archers. It's a little bit of golf. They take you up the course, which is usually in the
00:01:24.240
mountains. So this time it was in Park City and they take you up on the lifts and whatnot.
00:01:27.460
And then you just walk down and work your way down through 20, 25 targets varying from
00:01:32.820
30 yards away up to I think 110 maybe was the furthest one. And then you try to hit foam.
00:01:40.240
So it was a good time. And you get to hang out with cool people, which is always nice.
00:01:43.700
And for the people that are really bored, you just hopped on like a downhill mountain bike and just try
00:01:47.760
to bomb down the mountain without getting hit by an arrow just for that. We had some mountain
00:01:51.640
bikers that were kind of coming through, but they had a marked off pretty well. But then there was
00:01:56.080
some other people that were riding horseback through through the course. It's like you might
00:02:00.200
not want to be doing this today. Somebody sees a big antlerless elk and shoots a horse in the ass
00:02:07.040
would be just just a wonderful way for the weekend to go. I'm sure. Yeah, that's funny. Cool. How did
00:02:12.920
you do? How did you what did you golf? I usually score usually most people, most amateurs, I would
00:02:20.320
say anyways, they judge their performance based on how many arrows they lost is usually how it goes.
00:02:26.240
I see. Yeah. Yeah. Like balls that you've lost in golfing. Yeah. So I think I lost I think I lost
00:02:33.300
two arrows. I lost one arrow, one arrow just broke and shattered. And another one, I lot the knock
00:02:39.740
popped off and hit the dirt and the knock popped off. So, you know, I did, I did three different
00:02:44.920
courses. So to say I lost two arrows, I feel pretty good with that. That's not bad. Yeah, not bad.
00:02:50.100
Yeah. When I golf, I don't end up with the same ball. I think I usually lose about maybe 10 in a
00:02:55.720
nine hole. The way that I do it in golf, I measure whether I'm above or below par is based on how many
00:03:02.320
I lose versus how many I find. So if I lose five, but I find four, I'm one over par. Yeah. So if you're
00:03:09.420
distracted mid golf and you're in the pond trying to find balls, you're trying to, you're trying to
00:03:14.120
win. I'm trying to fix my score a little bit. Absolutely. Absolutely. That's well, good, man.
00:03:19.700
Well, we got, I posted, uh, or, or asked for some questions on the, uh, the gram and, uh, we got some
00:03:27.420
good questions and some other questions. So we'll, uh, we'll answer the good ones. And, uh, if you would
00:03:34.540
guys make sure speaking of Instagram, that you're following tagging, sharing tagging is a little
00:03:38.260
difficult hit or miss because they're, I was going to say shadow banning. It's not shadow
00:03:42.200
banning. They're outright just going right at us after the jugular here. So, uh, you can check it
00:03:47.920
out there, Facebook, Twitter, all at Ryan Mickler. I'm on getter, which is a new thing. I'm at Ryan
00:03:54.520
Mickler, YouTube at order of man. Like let's diversify where you guys are connected with me because it's
00:04:00.740
very easy, um, as evidence over the past month or so, uh, that one of these could be shut down for any
00:04:06.140
arbitrary reason. And that's what's happening. So just make sure you're following me on all the
00:04:09.360
platforms and, uh, we've got the content there.
00:04:12.540
Copy. And we'll do our best. We're, we're kind of ad hoc grabbing these questions. So hopefully if I,
00:04:17.920
if I grab, we're not going to, we're not going to grab one of the bad, we're going to do the best.
00:04:22.220
Okay. If I grab a bad one, we'll just call a guy out and say bad question next.
00:04:29.720
All right. That's so funny. All right. Are you ready?
00:04:41.320
Actually, it wasn't much of a question. So it's, it's more of a kind of an all over all around.
00:04:46.600
So we'll see if it's a talking point for you. So a Gringo.
00:04:50.180
No, it's not a question. Is it the vax anti-vax current event? All that. That's not even a question.
00:04:56.020
No, I mean, again, we talk about all the time, the quality of your life will be determined by the
00:05:01.220
quality of questions you ask. You ask, well, this wasn't even a question. Uh, and it's amazing
00:05:06.020
to, to how many people can't follow simple instructions. That's, what's amazing to me.
00:05:10.520
It's like, I realize you want the perspective, but like ask a question and then we can give you
00:05:15.800
a very specific answer. Uh, but this applies not just to what we're doing here. I'm trying to tell
00:05:20.660
you this because this applies to the rest of your life. It's so much more important than what we're
00:05:24.940
doing on this podcast. If you go into, uh, uh, in an interview, for example, you might want to come
00:05:30.380
out with some very poignant questions that you can ask the person who's interviewing you. If you're
00:05:34.920
going on a date or, uh, you want to learn more about somebody, or you're hosting a podcast, get
00:05:39.220
better at asking questions. Anything else is taking out. It's either a little bit of ignorance. And I
00:05:44.900
don't say that with any ill intent. It's just a little ignorance, uh, or it's lazy. So we can fix both
00:05:51.060
of those. Yeah. And, and one, this question, I'm kind of like, you know, maybe they're new people,
00:05:57.420
right? Maybe they've jumped onto the order of man. And that's where the ignorance, that's where the
00:06:01.440
ignorance. And again, I don't say that with ill intent. I'm saying it that. So, so this is the
00:06:06.020
learning opportunity, ask great questions and you'll get better answers that you're looking for.
00:06:10.960
Yeah. All right. David Osburnson, do you think it's a duty for us men to train our minds and bodies to
00:06:18.100
protect the people we hold dear to us? I don't think so. I don't think you should train your body.
00:06:24.400
I don't think you should train your mind. I think you should just be fat and lazy and
00:06:30.100
satisfied with who you are comfortable with who you are. Body positive movement. Um, don't let
00:06:36.940
anybody tell you that you're not good enough. That's what I do. And it seems to work out pretty
00:06:41.880
well for me. Yes, of course. Brian Mitchler. Of course. Train your butt. You have, you have a
00:06:47.960
moral obligation or responsibility to train your body and your mind. Uh, and if you're not going
00:06:52.640
to do it, just be prepared for results less than you're capable of. You want great results,
00:06:57.380
then you've got to be deliberate. You've got to be intentional. You've got to train for it
00:07:01.200
and, uh, you got to make it happen. So I would say the answer to that is most definitely. Yes,
00:07:07.460
of course. Yeah. All right. Five X back straight out on these questions, bro. I know. I know.
00:07:15.240
All right. Come on now. Give me a good one. All right. I'm a police officer who works 12 hour
00:07:20.460
shifts, seven out of 14 days. Maybe it's not me selecting the questions. Maybe just all these
00:07:26.800
questions suck. No, it's you. Cause I saw some of the questions and I thought there's some good
00:07:32.220
questions in here. Okay. Well, I'm having a hard time finding them. All right. This guy works seven
00:07:37.880
out of 14 days. Yeah. Works 12 hour shifts out of 14, 12 shifts, seven out of 14 days. So I've
00:07:45.360
started training jujitsu three days a week and I train and I try to run three to five miles three
00:07:50.280
days a week. I also have to take care of the house and yard. You've talked a lot about family time,
00:07:56.200
uh, or finding time for fitness and career goals. How do you make sure you're investing enough time in
00:08:01.940
family? Is there a minimum number of hours in a week there? I mean, look, there's not a minimum
00:08:07.300
number of hours. So what you're falling into the trap of is this work-life nonsense, this work-life
00:08:12.380
balance nonsense, right? Where, where people assume that means equal distribution of priorities
00:08:18.200
and responsibilities and obligations and tasks and things like that. And it isn't like that,
00:08:22.700
you know, especially when you're working 12 hour shifts for seven days in a row or whatever. I
00:08:27.020
didn't quite catch how that worked, but it's going to be more difficult, obviously for you to put in any
00:08:32.080
real workout or spend time with your wife and kids when you're doing that. But that's
00:08:37.100
what the job requires. So the way that you do it is not by measuring the hours that you're putting
00:08:44.640
in, but you measure the results that you're achieving. If you feel distance from your wife,
00:08:49.620
it's probably time that you consider putting in some more effort and making that a larger priority
00:08:55.380
than something else. If you feel that your fitness is getting out of whack, then you need to start
00:09:00.000
prioritizing that. And that's not to say that you completely abandon one priority or one responsibility.
00:09:06.300
So you can go all in on the other. There is a little bit of balance there, but the distribution
00:09:10.740
of your resources, time, energy, attention, et cetera, are going to be determined based on the
00:09:15.600
results that you're experiencing. If I'm struggling financially, well, I've got to get my ass to work
00:09:22.420
and make sure that I make ends meet, or I may not need to pick up a second job to pay the debts off
00:09:27.620
or make sure that the bills are paid, the roof over the head. If I've, I've been so busy with work
00:09:32.780
because personally I've been traveling so much, well, you know, it's, it's, it's important for
00:09:37.480
me to take some time off, maybe even from jujitsu or maybe even from extra work opportunities or
00:09:44.340
another trip I could take and spend time with the family. So really evaluate the results that you're
00:09:49.880
experiencing and then make your decisions based on that. You're out of whack right now because you're
00:09:55.100
asking the question. So you just need to get that back in alignment with your priorities and get back
00:09:59.780
on track. Tom Ward, one-on-one, what are some ideas for the rite of passage, so to speak, for
00:10:07.820
becoming a man? So ideas around rites of passage. Anything that's going to have a level of competition
00:10:14.080
involved in it, a ceremony involved in it, suffering needs to be involved. It's got to scare you. It's
00:10:22.120
got to challenge you. It's got to push you outside of your comfort zone. It typically would involve
00:10:27.020
something that you've never done or a skill that you're trying to develop, but there has to be
00:10:32.380
hardship. There has to be a clear objective and there has to be some sort of a ceremony or a ritual
00:10:41.060
along with the completion of it. And that might just be you going to compete in jujitsu and the,
00:10:48.640
the ceremony is you standing on the podium because you medaled in the, in the tournament.
00:10:52.520
So that, that would be a form of a rite of passage. Another rite of passage might be something like
00:10:58.780
Bedros Koulian's program or the Squire program that my son and I did suffering mentally, emotionally,
00:11:06.480
physically, a lot of learning, a lot of hardship. And then at the end, we had the graduation dinner,
00:11:11.840
even down to a certificate of completion for my son that he had framed. It's up on his wall.
00:11:18.800
I can see he's proud of that. It's a physical manifestation of the work that he's done.
00:11:23.680
And therefore it would fall under the category of rite of passage, but it has to have those
00:11:28.140
elements and those dynamics in order for it to, to qualify as a rite of passage.
00:11:33.440
Got it. Anthony Green. So I'm a new father. My daughter is two months old. I'd love every second
00:11:42.600
of it, but I'm having a really hard time maintaining a consistent workout routine with all the randomness
00:11:48.180
and lack of sleep that comes with a baby. Any tips, squeeze it in where you can. So this goes back to
00:11:55.160
the previous question about the irregularity of the schedule and the priorities. Of course,
00:12:00.520
less sleep right now, heavy emphasis on wife and daughter. I believe he said,
00:12:04.840
of course, that's going to be the priority. It would actually be weird if it wasn't,
00:12:09.240
if other areas of your life were completely on par in light of you having your first child.
00:12:17.600
So know that this is a season, but also make sure that you give yourself the space and the margin
00:12:23.060
to take care of yourself. That might be very early in the morning, you know, after, after she's in bed
00:12:29.000
or, you know, here's an, even another good example of way to do this is look at her sleep schedule.
00:12:35.240
And maybe once she's put down at, you know, seven o'clock or whatever it is, eight, I don't know,
00:12:41.120
whatever you do, maybe she sleeps really good for two hours. Okay. Well, there's, there's a two hour
00:12:46.560
window right there. And you know what? I bet your wife would appreciate you leaving her the hell alone
00:12:52.300
in that two hours. Cause she's up to here as well. If you are, she is probably even more so.
00:12:57.520
So say, Hey hon, you know, at seven o'clock from seven to nine, that's personal time for you. I'm
00:13:02.760
going to take from seven 30 to eight 30 and do a workout or go to jujitsu or get some things for the
00:13:07.040
house. So I can train here or go out into the garage or just go for a run or a hike. But look
00:13:13.900
at what your schedule is and then work in your physical training where you can. Yeah. Yeah.
00:13:19.820
You, and you might just need to be creative. I mean, sometimes we have these expectations of what
00:13:25.280
a quote unquote workout should look like. Well, maybe it's you taking the baby and going for a run
00:13:31.140
and you get a running stroller and now you're a runner until things get back to normal. And it's a
00:13:36.480
great way to get your child out and you know, you get active at the same time. So you just might
00:13:41.600
definitely let go of some expectation. I definitely would not recommend doing any running, but yeah,
00:13:47.360
anything other than that. Absolutely. I'm, I'm in pretty much agreement with you. Yeah. Yeah. Just
00:13:52.260
baby, uh, kettlebell swings with your child. Maybe. Yeah. I, I'm not going to condone that behavior
00:13:58.600
either, but I won't say I haven't done it. Totally. All right. Uh, Eckert 56 name one skill,
00:14:06.420
Mr. Mickler, you wish you had, but you do not. So, okay. So this is one of the questions I saw
00:14:11.520
and I actually liked this question. Okay. I was going to say, I kind of like it. I was thinking
00:14:15.740
about it on the way home. Cause I saw it. I made that post and I got in the car and drove. And so
00:14:22.040
this is one of the questions that I saw before we hopped on here. Um, it is an interesting
00:14:26.300
question. I will say it's hard for me to answer because I don't like the, the phrase wish what's
00:14:32.280
one, what's one skill you wish you had. Cause I could say a million things, but that, why would
00:14:37.540
I say that? I wish I could fill in the blank. Just do it. Just do it. If you wished it, you would
00:14:43.560
have already acted on it. Or maybe what's a, what's a skill that you have not yet determined to develop
00:14:50.680
or, or not. I would say the way that I think it should be framed is what's one skill you're
00:14:57.540
going to work on. Fair enough. I like it. But in the spirit of the question, which I, which I
00:15:02.740
understand, um, you know, I've thought about it a lot, like playing the guitar is one that I was doing,
00:15:09.640
but I stopped doing that. So I wish I had better skills with that. Uh, again, jujitsu, but again,
00:15:16.960
I'm, I'm working, I'm actively working to develop those skills right now, better learning how to
00:15:24.320
better communicate. All of the skills that I have, that I, that I have a desire to develop are things
00:15:29.400
that are actually, actually going to move the needle for me, that are going to push me in the
00:15:32.680
right direction. And all of the things that are important to me currently are the ones that I'm
00:15:37.140
actually working on right now. So let's take the guitar thing. I could say, I wish I could play the
00:15:43.200
guitar better, but I'm not practicing. So what right do I have to say? I wish I could be better.
00:15:50.420
So there's like a huge disconnect. And I'm not saying that he thinks there is, but I think there's
00:15:54.220
a lot of people out there who do think that, Hey, just wishing it, or just hoping that somehow it's
00:16:00.140
going to move the needle for you. Let's do away with the whole wish type thing and say, what are you
00:16:05.500
actively doing? What is actually important to you? So playing the guitar, frankly, is not that important
00:16:11.280
to me right now. If it was, I'd be doing it and I'm not. So therefore it's not as important as
00:16:15.540
maybe I led on to believe, or even lie to myself about whether it's guitar or something else.
00:16:21.000
Yeah. But I will say one other thing I thought about is I wish that I was more mechanically
00:16:25.880
inclined. That's something that I'm not at all. I don't know vehicles or any of that stuff. And I
00:16:31.100
actually really, it doesn't bother me, but it would be nice to be able to have some, some mechanical
00:16:37.080
knowledge when it comes to vehicles and cars and that sort of thing.
00:16:42.340
Yeah. I actually, I'd put that one on my list as well. I wish I was a little bit more
00:16:47.020
mechanically inclined. Yeah. So there it is. Got to do something about that. All right, Seth. No,
00:16:55.220
I'm not going to read that question. All right. Codename Kentucky recommendations for a beginner
00:16:59.880
archery hunting bow. You know, what I would do is I would just go into your local archer or archery shop
00:17:06.340
and I would, I would just tell them, Hey, I'm brand new. I've never picked up a bow or I did,
00:17:12.520
you know, 20 years ago. I don't know what the technology is and just ask them. And usually what
00:17:18.360
they'll do is they'll help you figure out your draw length, uh, your draw weight. They'll also,
00:17:24.540
uh, give you some basic instruction. They probably even have some bows there that you can practice on
00:17:31.280
and try and see what feels right. So that's the best thing that you can do. It's same thing with
00:17:36.240
a firearm, by the way, a lot of guys will say, what's the best firearm. There's a handful that
00:17:40.300
I would suggest are good everyday carry type firearms, but just go to the range, go to your
00:17:45.140
local gun dealer and tell them here's what's going on. I'd like to try a couple of different
00:17:50.240
pistols, see what's going to work best for me or my hand size. Like I, my everyday carry is a
00:17:55.860
Glock 43. It's a, it's a small compact single stack Glock nine millimeter. Well, a lot of guys
00:18:02.920
can't use it because they have big, way bigger hands and I have pretty small hands. So like it
00:18:06.600
actually fits into my hand pretty well. It's not going to work for everybody. Right? So you actually
00:18:10.320
have to go get your hands on it, try it out. Um, outside of that, I would go with a friend to
00:18:15.100
always go with a friend because they're going to offer insight and value, but these are people you're
00:18:18.920
also going to shoot with. So it's good to go do that stuff together. You can hit the range together,
00:18:23.680
but that's what I would suggest for whether it's a gun or a bow, anything like that.
00:18:29.320
Do you guys typically increase their draw? Uh, is it draw weight, um, over time? Because as you
00:18:37.980
shoot archery, you're getting stronger and then you need to increase or is it not that way?
00:18:44.020
No, it is that way. It's not that you're getting, I mean, technically, yes, you're getting stronger,
00:18:50.160
but it's the specific muscle group. And it's not even that it's the specific muscle group
00:18:55.440
that's getting stronger. So I've, I've got a bow. I shoot about 70 pounds is the draw weight that I
00:19:00.680
shoot. And for somebody who's never picked up a bow, I could take an individual. Have you shot a bow
00:19:08.340
much? Yeah, no, not much, but I shot one a few times. So you're, you're just as strong as I am,
00:19:15.140
maybe a little bit less probably, but let's just for the sake of argument, say that you and I are
00:19:20.500
about the same strength. Okay. Okay. Yeah. Hypothetically. Yeah. Yeah. In this, this hypothetical
00:19:25.840
world, you, you might, you're going to have a more difficult time pulling back my bow than I am
00:19:33.420
because of the, it's a weird movement when you're like stabilizing with one hand and pulling the
00:19:39.080
other. It's just a weird movement that people don't do a lot. If you row, that's probably going
00:19:42.680
to help. It's just a weird movement. So I've talked with guys and had guys actually shoot my bow who
00:19:49.280
are just as strong and capable as I am. And they can't even pull my bow back. So usually what guys
00:19:56.360
will do is they'll start lower and you can get a bow that has a range. So it might, you might start
00:20:01.720
at 50 pounds, for example, and you should like every man should be able to pull that back.
00:20:08.540
And so you draw the 50 pounds, work up to 55 and it has a range. So it might be that, that particular
00:20:14.940
bow might have a draw weight range of, you know, 50 to 80 or something, but every bow is a little
00:20:19.980
different. So you need to work through that, but yeah, usually you're going to start lower and work
00:20:23.240
your way into a higher poundage. And through that question, we just got like a little bit of
00:20:28.200
inside tip. If do not get a bow less than 50, or you're going to get made fun of, it sounds like.
00:20:34.640
I mean, you're, I'm not going to make fun of it, but my 13 year old kid is pulling 50 pounds. So
00:20:42.240
every man, I'm not saying that demeaning. I'm just saying every man should, should have no problem
00:20:46.940
with 50 pounds. All right. But, but honestly, like I'm registering that, right? Like I would not,
00:20:53.240
if I showed up at your house to go shoot and my draw weights 40, you would make fun of me. You'd
00:21:00.500
be like, I totally would a hundred percent. Well, we've got four or five Hoyt bows here that we run
00:21:06.360
with our, for our events. And I'll have to look cause I haven't written down, but I think the
00:21:10.000
draw weight is between 50 and 55 pounds up to 65 to 70 pounds. On all of those? On all of them.
00:21:17.400
There's different. Okay. So I know I can pull 50 cause I pulled one of those.
00:21:21.020
There isn't, there isn't one less than 50 pounds. So you're safe, brother. You're safe.
00:21:25.500
Done. All right. Just checking. I'm going to mess with you. I'm going to crank them up to 80 and say
00:21:29.480
they're only 50. What the hell? You can't pull that back?
00:21:34.420
Oh man. Uh, geez. These are these, you, you found good questions in here. These are horrible.
00:21:40.960
Uh, okay. Have you ever thought of competing in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu?
00:21:45.360
Yeah. I have thought about that. I haven't, but, um, but yeah, I mean, it's definitely a
00:21:51.840
consideration. I think there's a lot of learning. You could tell me more cause I know you've competed,
00:21:54.920
but I think in a short period of time you, you learn a lot and you really see how you stack up
00:22:01.360
against somebody that you never trained with potentially. So there's a lot to be said for
00:22:05.940
that. So, yeah, I think I probably will at some point. Again, I think it's great measurement.
00:22:10.120
Well, look for me, this comes down to priorities for me to take a Saturday to go do like go do a
00:22:18.160
tournament is probably not going to happen because I don't want to give up one of my Saturdays. Either
00:22:22.940
I'm traveling, doing something with a podcast or I'm here with my family. And I don't know. I will
00:22:29.040
tell you one thing I got jaded on in high school with wrestling and maybe Jiu Jitsu is different.
00:22:34.400
And I'm sure each tournament's a little different. Yeah. They are so poorly run and managed
00:22:38.720
that infuriates me. It's like people are sitting around, you got 10 mats and only one match going
00:22:45.120
on at a time. You got to wait for 17 effing hours before your next match. I, I am such an efficient
00:22:52.800
person and somebody who really values efficiency. Like there's, there's convenient stores in town.
00:22:59.680
I won't even go to because I get infuriated with the way that they run it. So I'm like, I can't,
00:23:04.460
I can't go into that store. I don't know if the tournament's the same way, but I just do not want
00:23:10.700
to play that game. Yeah. It depends on the promotion. Of course. Some, some are actually
00:23:15.540
well organized. Other ones are horrible. Right. For sure. All right. Let's find one of these good
00:23:22.040
questions. I mean, we got stuff like, do you like a Yeti cooler? Do you like the song purple rain? I mean,
00:23:28.240
like, I don't even know where you guys came up with this stuff. Okay. Book recommendations for my
00:23:34.060
10 year old son, Jofo prime. Uh, I was, when you said Jofo prime, I'm like, what is, what does that
00:23:42.480
mean? I didn't know. That's the guy's name. Yeah. Got it. Uh, 10 year old son, Jocko's books,
00:23:47.920
way the warrior kid series are really good. I think that's a great age range for a 10 year old.
00:23:52.420
Another one that of my personal favorites is hatchet. That's a really good one. Jack London's
00:23:59.420
got some amazing books. Uh, there's awesome books for, for kids, for boys, but they should
00:24:06.200
involve adventure and risk. Uh, Mark Twain, of course, you know, like there's, there's awesome
00:24:13.120
stuff out there. So I would say have it at be adventurous, have some risk-taking, um, manly
00:24:19.540
stuff like hatchet, like trying to survive in the wilderness. Like all of this stuff is,
00:24:23.320
is awesome, but there's three or four for you right off the bat. There you go. Any you would
00:24:28.200
add? No, I, the first ones that came to mind is way of the warrior kid. Yeah. I, I love those books.
00:24:34.440
In fact, my daughter's like going through, I think we're starting them over again because she wants
00:24:39.920
to read them again. Cool. So yeah. Um, all right, Shauna, Shauna Clayton, uh, some recommendations
00:24:48.200
on people who follow on Instagram that you would recommend. I don't, I mean, just whoever you like,
00:24:54.200
like, I don't know. Um, I personally follow, um, we follow all the same people. Just go through my
00:25:00.200
recommendations list. We follow all the same people. Yeah. Don't follow that guy though.
00:25:05.480
Yeah. I mean, that's the cool thing. So here's, okay. I'll give you some practical advice. If you
00:25:09.740
want to find people to follow on Instagram, what you do is you go in and you type in Instagram,
00:25:13.400
you go to the search bar and you type Ryan Mickler or whoever, hypothetically, that's what
00:25:20.400
you type in there. And then you click on my name and you click on the little following button right
00:25:24.800
there. And you can see everybody that I follow. So here's the first few that come right off the top.
00:25:30.400
Sean Whalen, uh, Andy Frisilla, Andy Stumpf, Madison Cawthorn, follow of court, Pete Roberts and
00:25:37.420
Origen, Jack Donovan, uh, Sal Frisilla, Evan Hafer, Chris Gatchko, Bert. I mean, guys,
00:25:43.880
Granger Smith. I'm not going to read them all to you. Just find who you like, whoever you resonate
00:25:49.160
with. Let's say it's me or Pete or, or, or Andy or whoever, just click that follow button.
00:25:54.280
Instagram has made it easy to see who you should follow. Zuby is another one. He's coming on the
00:25:58.280
podcast here in the next month or two, but they're, they're all on there. Bedros, Koulian,
00:26:02.900
they're there. It's kind of like a, the Google search function. You can take advantage of it,
00:26:07.520
but you gotta, gotta get after it. All right. Next question. Um, RDB smiles. Hey, Ryan really
00:26:17.560
would love to hear your thoughts on, uh, when building a business restaurant chain, possibly
00:26:22.480
do you prefer to bootstrap? Uh, what if there are no funds to bootstrap small business loan after
00:26:30.880
developing a business plan or trying to find an investor always feels like you need the money to
00:26:36.080
make money? Although I think that there's also probably an excuse. It might be, but it also
00:26:42.860
depends on the business. So my business, for example, is very low investment required. When I started,
00:26:53.520
I had a $70 microphone, an old computer, an old office chair and desk, uh, and that's really it.
00:27:00.640
So, and, and I think I paid 15 bucks a month to host my podcast on Libsyn. That's really all that
00:27:08.000
I had. So if it's that kind of business, even with t-shirts, you could have a, uh, uh, printing
00:27:14.720
business that they'll just print one-off shirts as they're ordered. Now you're not going to make as
00:27:19.600
much doing that, but at least you can try. You always talk about a kit, that minimum viable
00:27:24.220
product, and you're not having to buy 200 shirts at a time, having them sit in your house and then
00:27:29.040
not being able to say, sell a dang one of them. So now you're talking about a potential restaurant
00:27:34.320
chain. Okay. If you need to buy into a franchise, obviously you have to have the capital. If you're
00:27:40.300
talking about starting your own restaurant, which I don't know that I would recommend, I would
00:27:45.040
definitely find a business partner and or investor on that. Somebody who's already done that
00:27:48.700
because that's a crazy business from what I hear, then some capital is probably going to be required
00:27:54.320
because you're going to need to buy machinery and cooking equipment and rent cash registers and
00:27:59.620
booths and tables and chairs and the space. And then you're going to have to do a build out on the
00:28:03.220
space. And so if that's what you want to do, having an investor or having some capital is going to be
00:28:08.560
a requirement, but just be smart. You use your head. Don't get overly emotional. Don't turn
00:28:15.320
whatever it is, your idea into this sacred cow that you just won't touch or won't look at from
00:28:20.980
a rational, reasonable perspective. You're going to be excited about that. That's good. You should
00:28:25.560
be excited about it. But if that's the only factor, your level of excitement, then you probably
00:28:32.240
have some blind spots and setting yourself up for failure. So more so than asking me if you should have
00:28:40.780
capital or no capital or bootstrap or get an investor is you should really talk with somebody
00:28:46.120
who's been hyper successful in the industry that you're trying to go into. And I've never owned a
00:28:51.380
restaurant and I have no desire to own a restaurant. So anything that I told you would be, well, it would
00:28:57.160
just be unqualified advice. So find somebody that's done it. Ask them that question. That's the better way
00:29:03.200
to ask that. Yeah. If you don't mind me sharing, I think I'm going to slaughter this story a little
00:29:09.940
bit, but a friend of a friend started a chain here. And I actually, I think it's in multiple states in
00:29:16.580
the Midwest or in the Southwest called Sweeto Burrito. And the way he started that chain, it was a food truck
00:29:25.260
in North Dakota. Right. Great point. Great point. It was a food truck that everyone loved. And then they
00:29:31.640
bought out the food truck company and made it into a restaurant chain. Great point. MVP. Yeah. Right.
00:29:38.000
So there's, there's some strategies. And I think too, like if I came to you, Ryan, and said, Hey,
00:29:43.200
I want to open up a food restaurant chain or whatever. And I don't have anything to show you
00:29:48.040
that's going to be unique about this restaurant, or that's going to be a hard decision for you to invest
00:29:54.100
in my quote unquote idea. If I don't have something right to prove that it's going to be a valuable or
00:30:00.200
it's, you know, people like it or, or, or whatever. So, yeah, there's another example,
00:30:05.760
as you said that, because that's a really good story. There's a place a couple of miles from here
00:30:09.920
and they probably just rented a space from whoever owns the complex next to them. It's this big empty
00:30:17.680
parking lot and they poured a bunch of gravel and they have a trailer that they pulled in and it's a
00:30:23.440
semi-permanent trailer now. Cause they've done a little build out, but it's clearly a trailer,
00:30:26.940
but they did a build out and built, you know, frame around it and whatnot. And I imagine the
00:30:31.840
way that I see it going, and I've actually never been there, but if that place does well enough
00:30:36.420
that the next thing you'll see is you'll see maybe a little bit more of a permanent structure,
00:30:41.320
or they'll move from this place to this other place and they'll start leasing an actual space,
00:30:46.240
like you said, and then it'll grow and grow and grow, and then they'll have their next
00:30:49.440
thing and so on and so forth. So there are ways to do that. I'm just not qualified to share them,
00:30:55.000
but that is a great point you bring up. Charles William, I know you lean conservative,
00:31:00.700
but are there certain liberal values you wish the right would embrace and adopt?
00:31:09.120
Uh, I mean, I would say that anymore, I'm more of a libertarian more so like just leave everybody
00:31:19.400
alone and let them to their devices. I'm, I tend to be a pretty black and white guy. So,
00:31:24.960
I mean, maybe if you had some policy that you would consider a liberal policy,
00:31:29.800
I would be able to more specifically tell you, yes, I agree or no, I don't, but generally I just
00:31:35.920
want to be left alone. Um, I want the government to deal with our border security and our nation's
00:31:43.340
defense and pretty much want to be left alone to do what I want to do outside of that. And I think
00:31:49.220
other people should as well. So whatever side of the aisle and issue falls on, it's probably going
00:31:55.940
to be that leave us alone, let people make their own decisions. Now I believe in law and order. Of
00:32:00.540
course, I believe that there needs to be some rules. I also believe that there should be a level playing
00:32:04.820
field now that that's equality under the law, not necessarily equity, which is equal outcomes. I don't
00:32:13.120
believe in that. Everybody's different. Kip, you and I are different. And even if we were
00:32:17.400
twins and we were raised the same way, our outcomes would be different because of the way that we
00:32:22.940
think and experiences that we have individually and collectively, or the way we determine them and
00:32:27.100
interpret them. So equal, equal, uh, equality under the law. And outside of that, again,
00:32:37.400
protect our borders, defend our nation, let States make their own decisions about education,
00:32:43.260
abortion, abortion, some of these other issues, and then just let people make their decisions, period.
00:32:50.580
Yeah. Got it. Alec M. Falk, as a follower of Christ and building my own financial planning
00:32:59.740
business, almost five years in, I'm trying to make the shift from depending on, uh, make the shift
00:33:05.360
from depending on me less and on God more in the Bible and church. We say that it's all up to God,
00:33:11.920
but I still have to do the work in the past. I have worked like it was all up to me and the stress
00:33:17.880
I put on myself through was not healthy or sustainable. Now that I have given my business
00:33:23.520
and the success that comes with it to God, I feel the weight has been lifted off my shoulders and I
00:33:29.540
have a better business and relationship with God. Do you ever make that shift in mindset to depend
00:33:35.360
more on God and, and release high self expectations?
00:33:41.320
My philosophy is this, and I'm a Christian, but my philosophy is this,
00:33:45.960
do what you can do good and go as hard as you can and let the chips fall where they may.
00:33:53.320
I believe that if I do everything that I individually can, I work hard, I do what's right.
00:33:58.620
I strive to be a good and decent human being. I work to make myself more capable.
00:34:04.100
It's going to be inadequate. And I feel like God will make up the difference for me.
00:34:09.640
My fear for so many people who are Christians is that they do it the other way around.
00:34:17.020
I'm just going to rely so heavily on God and God and God, he's going to do this. He's going to do all
00:34:20.680
these things. He's going to make my wildest dreams come true and I don't have to do anything.
00:34:23.440
And they've got it backwards. And I would suggest to you that God says, you do everything that you
00:34:29.820
possibly can to be a good and decent human being, to make yourself more capable. All the things I
00:34:34.080
just said, and I will make up the difference. And I acknowledge his hand in all things. Even look,
00:34:42.500
even the things that I personally do, for example, I feel like I run a pretty good podcast.
00:34:48.700
So it'd be easy to say, I did this. I built this. No, I didn't build this. I have talents and gifts
00:34:56.840
and abilities and opportunities in a mindset and experiences that were all presented to me through
00:35:03.140
him. And I've been able to capitalize on those opportunities, but look, I'm healthy. Maybe I
00:35:10.180
already have the predisposition to be a great communicator or to be a great networker or to be
00:35:14.520
curious. Those aren't things that I necessarily developed. I sure I have a little bit, but there
00:35:20.540
might just be some of that inherent in my personality. And I acknowledge his hand in that.
00:35:25.320
So we need to be mindful of using the talents, gifts, abilities, and opportunities that he has
00:35:30.640
presented doing all that we can with those opportunities and gifts. And then being understanding
00:35:37.460
that he's going to fill in the blanks. And also this, here's another thing. We don't always know the
00:35:42.500
plan. So you might be doing everything that you possibly can to grow your business or to fix that
00:35:48.660
relationship or whatever it is you're working on. And the result doesn't turn out the way that you
00:35:55.180
would like it. And it would be easy to say, I've done everything. Why don't you help me and forsake him
00:36:02.180
in that moment? It would be easy to do that. And in fact, I have done that. And then you fast forward
00:36:08.120
five years and you look back at that experience, you're like, Oh, got it. What I wanted wasn't what
00:36:16.160
he wanted for me. And so he was preparing me for what I'm into right now. That's my take.
00:36:25.100
Yeah. I like it. All right. Xavier Morgan, how do you, what do you do when your profession no longer
00:36:33.980
aligns with your values? I'm an active duty Marine and I have a few buddies who wonder the same thing.
00:36:39.560
Our job takes us away from our families for long periods of time. I have always thought that being
00:36:43.940
a good Marine would make me a good husband and father and vice versa. I completely agree with your
00:36:49.500
take on work life balance, but the nature of the job does not allow for that, which is why I'm
00:36:55.100
considering switching professions, but I can't seem to let go. Would love to hear your thoughts. Thank you.
00:37:01.100
Look, there's probably some reasons. So as a, as a Marine, there's probably some reasons that you're
00:37:06.660
having a hard time letting go because there's a lot of value that comes from that, that you still
00:37:10.980
align with. And you've been, I'm trying to think about the way to say this. I'm trying to be selective
00:37:18.980
with my words. I'll just say it this way. You've been conditioned to be loyal from right Marine Corps.
00:37:27.120
You're a Marine. Once a Marine, always a Marine. Like you have been conditioned to be loyal.
00:37:31.100
And there's nothing wrong with that. But once you start to see that your current trajectory is not
00:37:36.480
serving you or the people that you care about, or is not in alignment with your values, you make the
00:37:41.860
simple, not easy, the simple choice to move into something that is going to be more in alignment with
00:37:49.920
your values and your goals and your objectives. It's that simple. It really is. And so we complicate it and
00:37:56.120
we think, well, you know, am I quitting? What are the guys going to think of me? Or I have this,
00:38:01.740
you know, package. I've got 12 years in now. I got it. I'm almost eight years away from retirement.
00:38:06.840
And so we suffer needlessly because we allow some factors to, well, we give those factors more weight
00:38:14.980
than they should. So what I would suggest to you is that if you feel like it's no longer in alignment,
00:38:21.700
whether it's the Marine Corps or the army or selling insurance and investments like I was doing,
00:38:27.320
then you actively today, start today, work towards creating your next mission, whatever that is.
00:38:36.340
So when I was doing the financial planning stuff, my next mission was order of man. I was building
00:38:42.020
order of man while I was doing my financial planning stuff. And in the military, you have great options
00:38:47.300
for transitioning and you've got time. You also have contracts that you may need to see all the way
00:38:52.400
through to the end, but look, you've got a window right now. So take advantage of this window because
00:38:58.080
the last thing I want to have happen, and this goes for any military member, is for them to hit
00:39:03.320
retirement or decide that they're going to leave the military and not really have a strategy moving
00:39:09.780
forward. A lot of military members do that and it's teasing them up for failure because they feel
00:39:15.260
worthless. They feel helpless. They've lost the brotherhood. They've lost the camaraderie. They've
00:39:19.760
lost the discipline in the structure that comes with the military. And they didn't take advantage
00:39:26.260
of the time that they knew they were going to transition out to the time they're actually
00:39:29.360
transitioning out. So be building something right now, be working towards something right now.
00:39:34.540
And that transition, well, let me say it this way. Let me have you wrap your head around this.
00:39:40.580
If you already knew what you were going to do when you got out of the military, like you already had
00:39:45.700
a plan in place. He said, I'm going to move on to this thing and me and my buddies are going to grow
00:39:48.800
this business or we're going to start this thing. Would you leave? If today was already in place,
00:39:55.640
if the plan was in place, you knew what it was going to be, would you leave? And the answer is yes,
00:40:01.020
right? I'm assuming based on the question. Okay. So if the answer is yes,
00:40:06.620
then all that's missing is the next step. You already know you want to transition out.
00:40:12.000
You just need the next step. So take this time right now to build that out. So when the time
00:40:16.680
comes, you'll be able to do it. Copy. Dave River 15, any thoughts on bad selfishness
00:40:24.720
and how to stop thinking about myself above other people's needs?
00:40:28.260
I tend to be a pretty selfish individual. That's like my natural inclination is to look after me
00:40:36.380
and mine and to hell with everything else. And sometimes I leave a wake of collateral damage
00:40:40.600
in my path. That's just how it's been being 40 years on this planet. So it is something I personally
00:40:47.480
need to be mindful of. And what I found is that if you can give yourself to a cause greater than you,
00:40:53.600
that's very important, then you'll be less selfish. So order of man for me is that cause.
00:40:59.480
I want to see men thrive. I want to see young men be able to transition successfully into manhood. I
00:41:06.920
want marriages to thrive. I want you guys to make money and to be healthy and to live fulfilled lives.
00:41:13.080
That's what I want. And because that's what I want, then I am more able to focus on other people.
00:41:20.500
A great example is this morning. I could have very easily said, I don't want to do a podcast today,
00:41:25.640
but it's too important for me not to do a podcast. Not for me, because I would have loved to sleep in.
00:41:32.080
I'd love to see my family. There's a lot of things I'd love to do right now, but I'm here doing this
00:41:37.860
podcast because I care about the work and therefore I'm going to sacrifice what I want in order to give
00:41:45.280
you what I interpret or feel like you as men need who listen to this podcast.
00:41:49.740
So maybe the reason you're selfish is because you haven't found or discovered or created
00:41:56.360
anything more important than yourself yet. And if that's the case, that should be a red flag that
00:42:04.420
maybe you're missing some meaning in your life. And I would be working very diligently to create
00:42:13.820
and discover and uncover that meaning that will allow you to be less selfish.
00:42:19.200
Yeah. If it's not obvious, right? The benefits is far more than just being less selfish, right? If you
00:42:26.520
think about what comes with a purpose-driven life and making your time on this rock more valuable than
00:42:34.900
just your own personal gain, I mean, obviously the results is far greater than just a refocus of time
00:42:41.860
and effort. Well, and the ironic thing is that by serving other people in a meaningful and significant
00:42:49.200
way, you actually get a lot out of it. I feel fulfilled. I feel uplifted. I have developed my own
00:42:57.700
set of skills. I am making more money than I ever have. Right? So it's a little backwards. It's a little
00:43:03.580
counterintuitive, but I can tell you from experience as a, as a selfish person myself, that when you
00:43:10.860
serve other people in a meaningful way, it's inevitable that you will be served as well. Zig Ziglar said it
00:43:16.860
best. If you help enough people get what they want, you will inevitably get what it is you want. So you
00:43:23.000
can't, you can't separate the two. And I think a lot of people believe that like, Oh, if I donate
00:43:27.840
money or time or charity or resources or time or attention or energy, I don't get anything out of it
00:43:32.840
or I don't get that back. No, it's actually an investment in yourself. It's very counterintuitive,
00:43:38.880
but anybody who's given back and served or found a meaning or a purpose or a mission higher than
00:43:44.840
themselves understands that they can't just extrapolate themselves from that equation.
00:43:50.200
Yeah. All right. Dishy man. What is one good strategy to deal with and overcome distractions?
00:43:59.800
I would make a plan. That's the most important thing you could do because if you don't have a plan,
00:44:04.900
you're just going to get tossed to and fro and I don't know where to go. And Oh, there's that. Oh,
00:44:08.800
this looks enticing. Oh, I can go to this. Shiny object of the day. Yeah. Right. Right. So if you
00:44:13.900
haven't charted your course, if we're looking at a, you know, a ship or, or you're going to,
00:44:19.120
you know, go to Disneyland with your family and you haven't charted that course of how you're going
00:44:22.740
to get there, how do you decide what's the most effective way to get there? Well, you base it on
00:44:27.000
what's in front of you at the moment, but what's in front of you at the moment is bright and shiny
00:44:30.940
object syndrome, especially for people who have the, the tendency to go this direction where they're
00:44:37.980
just so easily distracted, formulate a plan for what you want. So one thing I know about the fitness
00:44:45.440
industry is that a lot of guys will bounce from program to program, to program, to program,
00:44:50.660
because they're not experiencing the results that they want, or they get bored or whatever.
00:44:54.280
Okay. Well, the best results you're going to experience is when you actually stick to a program
00:44:58.720
for the prescribed period of time and complete the program. So you have to have a program and you have
00:45:06.940
to stick with it. And if you commit to the program, in this case, you know, the plan of action,
00:45:12.300
then you aren't going to be distracted by these things. They might be enticing, but you made the
00:45:18.400
commitment. So if you're going to do 75 hard, for example, then do 75 hard. Don't do 32 medium and
00:45:27.520
then get distracted by the next, next 60 day summer ab challenge that comes along, like actually commit
00:45:36.000
to what you're going to do, see it through. And then when it's done, you can evaluate it and decide,
00:45:40.560
okay, I want to do that again, continue down the course, or I want to try something different based
00:45:44.520
on the results that I experienced or the results that I'm after, but chart your course, commit to
00:45:51.760
that plan of action. And then only then will you evaluate. I did that when we started the podcast,
00:45:57.020
I committed to doing a podcast every week, weekly for two years. So that's over a hundred episodes.
00:46:04.040
My personal commitment was to yourself. That was my personal. I'm going to do this for two years.
00:46:08.980
We period, period. And after two years, only after two years, would I then evaluate whether
00:46:16.680
or not I wanted to continue to do it or not? No, that's not to say that I didn't evaluate it along
00:46:21.580
the road to make it better and improve it and see where I could get enhanced the quality of things.
00:46:27.420
But I didn't, I wasn't going to throw in the towel until two years. We did the same thing when we
00:46:32.320
moved to Maine. My wife and I talked about it. We said, we're going to give ourselves
00:46:35.060
two solid, fully committed years in Maine, like not dipping our toe in the water, not like seeing,
00:46:42.460
no, we're going all in for two years. And after two years, then we'll evaluate whether we want to
00:46:49.220
stay or whether we want to go. But we come, we had a plan of action. We're both on the same page
00:46:54.460
about it. We committed to the course of action. And in both of those examples that I gave you,
00:46:59.400
it actually ended up turning out pretty favorably. And I would argue that if you do it that way,
00:47:04.100
it's going to turn out more favorably than not. If you create the plan of action and you commit to
00:47:09.860
the plan of action and you see it through to the end. Yeah. Sam Broadway had a similar question. So
00:47:15.540
let's see if you'd add anything to what you're saying. He says, what metric do you use to personally,
00:47:19.840
what metrics do you personally use to track your own success? And this is a good,
00:47:25.320
or we can talk about battle plans and whatnot, but go ahead. Yeah. And to your point about battle
00:47:31.200
plan, tracking your success really depends on what it is you're trying to accomplish. So
00:47:36.700
income is certainly a metric that I evaluate. How's the business doing? How's the income? How's
00:47:46.260
the debt to income? All that stuff. I track all of that. So that's an important metric. I'll look at
00:47:50.120
my personal accounts and my investments and I'll track that. I'll look at just the quality of the
00:47:56.260
relationships that I have. And that is a little more difficult. And I tend to be more intuitive
00:48:02.280
on that. Like I'll ask myself, how was my relationship with my wife right now? It's good
00:48:07.100
at in the not too distant past, it was disconnected. So I asked myself, how is this relationship? Oh,
00:48:14.060
it's disconnected. It feels like I'm living with a roommate, not my, my beautiful bride. So
00:48:18.660
what can I do to change that? So that's a more intuitive answer that I look at. But the hard
00:48:24.440
data is easy. You know, you look at podcast downloads, you look at income, you jump on the
00:48:28.780
scale, you look at your, your, your deadlift and how much you're lifting or not lifting. Those are
00:48:34.020
easy. It's the soft ones typically when it comes to relationships that are more challenging. And I tend
00:48:39.920
to be more intuitive. How does it feel? Does it feel on track? What are the pain points? What are the
00:48:47.840
issues? What can you do to improve it? And through asking yourself those questions, you start to
00:48:52.680
unpack some plans of action moving forward. Yeah. And I think at least on the business side,
00:48:59.240
one thing that has really been present for me of late is just making a distinction of leading
00:49:05.720
indicators, right? Like I, it's good to understand where, how we are succeeding, but what are the
00:49:12.760
leading indicators that led to that success? And, and let's now have some metrics and some KPIs around
00:49:19.500
those. So then that way we ensure that we're succeeding, right? Right. Basic way of looking at
00:49:25.540
this is leads opportunities and projects, right? It's like, okay, for us to have that much business
00:49:32.460
that required these many closed opportunities and those closed opportunities required this many leads.
00:49:37.420
So now let's put some indicator, indications, some metrics around those leads, Jen. So that way we
00:49:43.380
ensure that we have that proper level of leads and we just don't sit back and go, oh crap, business is
00:49:49.820
slow. And now, you know, you're, you're too delayed, right? Because those are lagging indicators.
00:49:55.340
So that's, I like that, but let's apply that also to your relationships. There's lead indicators in
00:50:01.180
your relationship too, that you ought to pay attention to. Some people call them red flags or whatever,
00:50:05.800
but there's indicators that are there. If you're in tune with it, you're paying attention that you'll
00:50:11.100
see your wife will say something. She might just say it in passing, or she might not say anything,
00:50:16.340
but you just see a little shift in her personality or your relationship together. Leading indicators,
00:50:23.760
don't wait until, and most guys will do this until you have a blowup, an argument, or even worse,
00:50:30.160
go straight to separation or divorce, or she cheats, or you cheat. Catch those leading indicators as
00:50:35.360
quickly as you possibly can. Yeah. And, and I, you know, I read a book around troubled teens right now
00:50:41.120
and the same thing for children. There, there are red flags that most people, most parents ignore
00:50:47.660
because they're uncomfortable. And then before you know it, we have habits formed and we have
00:50:52.820
a separation in relationships and we have, you know, drifting apart between child and parent because
00:50:58.680
we didn't address the things up front. And there's a lot of, uh, indicators there.
00:51:03.440
I, it it's, this is such an important topic because it's, we're talking about business and
00:51:08.560
money and relationships, but it also applies to this country. You know, I've heard from a lot of
00:51:11.980
people who say, Oh, it's not that bad. Oh, it's just this. It's just that there's a lot of red flags
00:51:17.320
that we as a country are, we, I should say, we as citizens of this country are overlooking because
00:51:21.660
we're saying to ourselves, Oh, it's not that bad. Oh, it's just this. Oh, it's just that.
00:51:26.040
And so we're justifying the behavior. And then the precedent is being set that we're easily
00:51:30.080
trampled. We're pushed around, we're manipulated, we're coerced, and we're not willing to stand up
00:51:34.460
for ourselves. So it applies to our country. It applies to relationships. It applies to business.
00:51:40.680
It even applies to your own personal goals and ambitions. You know, if you want to get locked in
00:51:45.900
with your diet and nutrition, for example, and, uh, you know, you realize that, Hey, at late at night,
00:51:51.880
and this is my struggle, I get bored a little bit. And so I like to eat. Okay.
00:51:56.020
Well, that's a little red flag. It's not okay to do it. And you might say, well, it's okay. I've
00:52:01.260
justified it. You know, I worked hard today. That's one of the things I say, I earned it.
00:52:06.360
Uh, it's just, just, just this, you know, just tonight, but tomorrow I'll be no, none of that.
00:52:13.220
Don't let that stuff in address it early and often you'll be significantly better served if you do.
00:52:18.960
And so will the people you care about. Another thing I had for Sam around metrics, um, within the iron
00:52:24.620
council, we do our goal setting around, um, a tooling called the battle plan and which you can
00:52:32.460
obviously read about within Ryan's book, but there's a couple of resources. If you go to
00:52:37.260
store.orderofman.com, you can get a paper version of that battle plan. If you're like Ryan and you're
00:52:42.800
like eighties, 80 years old and don't feel comfortable using a computer and have to use
00:52:47.720
paper. I am an old soul. I really, even as a kid, I always felt like I was like 50 years old. So all
00:52:54.700
my friends make fun of me. So you can go paper route. If you want to go that you store.orderofman.com,
00:53:01.200
or you can actually even get the mobile app, uh, from the Apple store or Google play. Um,
00:53:09.020
or just go to 12 week battle planner.com. Uh, and you can purchase the app from there as well.
00:53:13.980
And that's the tooling that we use within the iron council for like tracking our success and our
00:53:18.620
metrics around what we're doing. That's right. Cool. Let's take a couple more. All right. Yeah. So,
00:53:24.040
uh, really digging actually, you know what? It's funny at I'm reading these questions. I'm like, okay,
00:53:29.540
wait, there are some really good ones. Some of them are towards the bottom. So we're going to
00:53:32.940
have to maybe come back to these next, uh, next week. Uh, Sophia Lauren, uh, a woman listener and
00:53:39.660
question. We don't get these too often, at least not questions. Are there any good podcast answer?
00:53:45.580
Only men. We don't help women. That's not our focus. He men woman hater club here. Just kidding.
00:53:50.840
It's club. Yeah, totally. All right. What does Sophia have? Let's hear it. All right. Are there any
00:53:55.900
good podcasts out there that speak more to the mom's role on racing a boy into a man? We are
00:54:01.860
welcoming our first son into the world any day now. I wish I could tell you, honestly, I don't know
00:54:07.560
right off hand. I actually had a good conversation with a friend of mine, uh, at total archery challenge
00:54:11.680
this weekend because she's considering starting a podcast. And I told her that this is, it's funny
00:54:16.880
you asked this because I told her this is one of the most common questions I get from women. There's
00:54:21.480
two questions I get from women. Number one, how do I raise my son as a single mother?
00:54:27.560
Number two, where's the women's equivalent of what you're doing? And she actually touched on both
00:54:32.800
raising sons and the female equivalent of what we're doing. I don't know if you guys have some
00:54:37.800
great resources on that, please let us know. Uh, I, I wish I had a better resource. There's a lot of
00:54:45.060
women out there that I've seen talking about this stuff, but it seems to me that the women who are
00:54:51.720
doing this are more talking about how to grind, how to hustle. And it's all business related. And I
00:54:58.040
don't talk about that all the time. There's a lot of Instagram things, a lot of podcasts that talk
00:55:03.500
about men grinding and hustling and working. It's important. It has its place, but guys like this,
00:55:09.460
I want, I'm, I'm more well-rounded at least I'm trying to be. And that's what I'm trying to give you.
00:55:13.220
So I've, it's, it's been hard to find a woman who does that too, because a woman who's out there
00:55:18.640
doing a podcast like this is going to try to think about the best way to say this is she's going to
00:55:24.920
be a little bit more masculine in her approach to life. I think just because of the nature of what
00:55:32.740
she's doing, like she's going to get out there. She's a go-getter. She's hustling. She's grind.
00:55:36.100
She's doing that. I would love to see a woman who is a state, excuse me, a stay at home mom,
00:55:42.820
somebody who wants to be balanced, somebody who wants to raise her children and maybe does also
00:55:48.060
have a career or not. That's what I'd like to see, but I, I haven't yet seen it. And I've been
00:55:53.240
trying to convince my wife to do it for years and she won't. So, um, I do think, correct me if I'm
00:55:59.540
wrong, if you agree or not. I mean, you probably are. I mean, that's like, but I think the boy crisis
00:56:05.800
is a great resource. I, some of it's a little, maybe a little too, some of his viewpoints, I
00:56:13.160
obviously don't agree with like politically, but the foundation that he lays of the dilemma
00:56:19.660
that boys are raised into in our society. And some of the dichotomies of being a boy or a man,
00:56:27.280
I think is highly insightful. And I think that would be from a mother's perspective. You need
00:56:33.060
to understand kind of this odd, I don't know, this odd society and world in which your boy's
00:56:39.720
being raised in and what's being expected of him, um, and asked of him in a really unique way.
00:56:46.860
And it is somewhat unique. If you think about it, it's very interesting.
00:56:50.840
I think that's a great point. Uh, there's also a book that came to mind as you said that,
00:56:55.580
which is wild at heart. Yeah. If you want to understand why men are the way they are and
00:57:02.120
what they do and what they're after as a mother, it seems like you're very interested in that.
00:57:07.520
Then go read wild at heart. And here's what I would say. Don't assume or attempt to correct it.
00:57:17.060
Okay. But that's probably what you'll be tempted to do. Whoa. That's not right. Because I feel this
00:57:23.560
way. Right. Because you're a woman and that's not wrong either. But if you really want to strive
00:57:29.220
to understand your boys, then don't take a great book like that and try to interpret it through
00:57:35.800
your female vision, just accept it, embrace it. You don't even have to fully understand it. You know,
00:57:40.700
one of the premises and wild at heart, for example, uh, that, that is a question that every man or
00:57:45.740
attempt is attempting to ask himself is, do I have what it takes? Now you might hear that as a woman
00:57:52.360
and think, well, they're measuring themselves on performance and how they, yes, yes. And you don't
00:57:59.800
have to agree with it. You don't have to like it. You don't have to understand it, but it is. So the
00:58:06.800
better that you can wrap your head around it and just embrace it for what it is, the more opportunities
00:58:10.920
you can create for your sons where they can attempt to begin to answer that question in the
00:58:17.540
affirmative in their own lives. Yeah. All right. Uh, Nate Duffy morning, sir. My name is Nathan
00:58:24.620
Duffy. I am 19 years old. I've been listening to the podcast for about two weeks now, and I got to
00:58:29.320
say it has truly been beneficial getting the insight that you and your guests provide. With that said,
00:58:34.760
I'm curious, how do you strive to maintain balance within your life on a daily basis as stressors go,
00:58:41.680
uh, as stressors grow and kids, family work and the rest that are introduced. I know a routine is
00:58:48.260
crucial, but I just wanted, wanted some insights on how to do that. Thank you, sir. And have a great
00:58:54.180
day. Yeah. So go back last week and the week before and the week before that we were always talking
00:58:59.500
about work-life balance. And so this is, again, we've talked about it actually earlier today. This is the
00:59:04.160
same thing that you're getting into. Yes. There's stressors. Yes. There's challenges. And I think you even
00:59:08.860
use the term balance. Sometimes it's going to be perfectly distributed. And most of the time it's
00:59:14.500
not going to be perfectly distributed. So I feel like a little bit, I answered this question in
00:59:18.560
telling you that you ought to look at the indicators, look at the results when you aren't producing what
00:59:24.000
you want in different facets of your life. That's where you make the pivots and reallocate your assets.
00:59:29.760
Hey, when I say reallocate your assets, I'm talking about your time to attention and energy.
00:59:34.080
So as an example, Ryan, go ahead. Well, I want to make sure that I understand. So,
00:59:42.200
I mean, are you saying, okay, I'm stressed out and the balance is, hey, stop doing some work and get
00:59:49.760
some personal time or relaxed time in, or is it something else? And is it more meditation or is it
00:59:58.300
more thoughtfulness? Like what is the balance to, to being stressed out with all these things going
01:00:06.240
on? Get to the balance to being stressed out is get your shit done and don't commit to things that
01:00:13.040
you get stressed out about anymore. Cause I've been stressed out in my life. I'm a little stressed out
01:00:18.660
right now because for the last three weeks I've been traveling. So I've been a little distant with
01:00:23.160
our, our iron council, our brotherhood. I've been a little distant with my family. I haven't been able
01:00:28.000
to hit all of my obligations and responsibilities the way I would have liked. I'm not a hundred
01:00:32.140
percent on those things because I've been traveling so much. And I actually take great joy in meeting
01:00:37.040
people and being out there and advancing what we're doing here. But I've done an after action
01:00:41.980
review and I realize, okay, I can't travel this way, or I can't do a podcast right when I get back
01:00:50.180
from traveling. So I adjust the way that I show up in the future. So I don't create this unnecessary
01:00:56.140
stress that I have in my life. I learned to say no more effectively. I put the boundaries in place.
01:01:02.200
I know how I'm going to feel and how I'm going to perform, which I'm not interested in doing. And so I
01:01:06.500
correct the situation after you meet your obligations. Cause what I don't want to have happen
01:01:12.920
is because you're stressed out, you just let everything go. Okay. That's not manly behavior
01:01:17.380
because you made commitments. You made agreements with people. They're relying upon you. So do what
01:01:23.780
you said you're going to do, but don't continue to do that stuff. All right, guys, not sure what's
01:01:29.100
going on with the technology, but we cut out again. So I let Kip go. I think we got through most of the
01:01:34.580
questions that we wanted to. So we'll get the technology on my end worked out. But just wanted
01:01:39.580
to cap this out. Let you guys know, I appreciate you tuning in and listening in. Make sure you share,
01:01:43.980
subscribe, rate, review, uh, spread the good word, what we're doing here, reclaiming and
01:01:48.500
restoring masculinity. And let's get after there and, uh, and, and be men. All right, guys, we'll
01:01:53.580
be back, uh, on Friday until then go out there, take action and become the man you are meant to be.
01:01:59.320
Thank you for listening to the order of man podcast. You're ready to take charge of your life
01:02:03.660
and be more of the man you were meant to be. We invite you to join the order at order of man.com.
01:02:13.980
You're going to be, uh, um, you'll be like, well, wait, uh,
01:02:21.520
one, two, three, three, four, four, four, five, 15,一次, McMahon,
01:02:28.400
one, three, five, six, seven, eight, nine, six, seven, seven, six, eight, eight,230,
01:02:33.860
nine, six, Seven, w r eight, nine, 7, 12, twice, nine, ten, ten, ten, ten, ten, ten, ten, ten, ten, ten, ten