Order of Man - Man Vs. Bear ｜ FRIDAY FIELD NOTES

00:00:00.000 Because I know what we're doing.

00:00:02.180 I believe in what we're doing.

00:00:03.800 I hope you believe in what we're doing.

00:00:05.560 And I hope you believe in yourself.

00:00:07.440 Your wife does.

00:00:09.400 Your kids do.

00:00:11.220 Do you believe in yourself?

00:00:13.640 Do you believe that you would be that asset versus the liability?

00:00:17.040 That's what that bear versus man comes down to.

00:00:19.180 Are you an asset or a liability?

00:00:21.120 If she views you as an asset, then she's going to want you around.

00:00:24.560 If she views you as a liability, she's going to want the bear around.

00:00:27.740 Which one are you?

00:00:29.060 You're a man of action.

00:00:30.600 You live life to the fullest.

00:00:32.060 Embrace your fears and boldly chart your own path.

00:00:35.000 When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time.

00:00:38.380 Every time.

00:00:39.480 You are not easily deterred or defeated.

00:00:41.760 Rugged.

00:00:42.540 Resilient.

00:00:43.520 Strong.

00:00:44.520 This is your life.

00:00:45.600 This is who you are.

00:00:46.820 This is who you will become.

00:00:48.820 At the end of the day, and after all is said and done, you can call yourself a man.

00:00:53.700 Unless you've been living under a rock, it's likely that you've come across the common thing of the day, which is this man versus bear debate amongst women and social media.

00:01:07.480 And I wanted to address that today.

00:01:09.680 I've been hesitant to address these things. 1.00

00:01:12.160 I typically shy away from these pop culture phenomenons because they're ridiculous and stupid. 0.99

00:01:18.180 But so many people have been talking about them. 0.99

00:01:20.660 I thought I would address this today and talk about this concept of man versus bear.

00:01:25.460 Talk about the nuance and the intricacies.

00:01:27.600 And more important than that, I thought I would share with you reasons why women are overwhelmingly saying that they would rather run into a bear than a man in the woods. 0.97

00:01:38.460 It's ignorance, it's stupid, it's silly, I get it, but we're going to talk about real practical information that you can employ on a daily basis to ensure that the people in your life, not just the women, see you as somebody who is kind and caring and protective and a man at its core. 0.95

00:01:59.320 Now, before I get into the conversation, I want to mention real quickly that we're going to be opening up the Iron Council. 0.98

00:02:04.580 That's our exclusive brotherhood in the middle of June, and I would love for you to band with us.

00:02:10.300 If you want to learn more about what we're doing, why it would be beneficial for you, and how what we share and teach is going to help you in your life, then go to orderofman.com slash ironcouncil.

00:02:22.160 Again, that's orderofman.com slash ironcouncil.

00:02:25.020 You can check it out.

00:02:26.040 There's a quick video.

00:02:26.980 You can see all the features and benefits, and then you can join our waiting list because we're going to be opening this thing up for the masses.

00:02:33.380 We're going to have 200 people who are going to enroll with us in that window starting June 15th through June 30th, and I would love for you to be one of those men.

00:02:43.040 All right, guys, let's talk about this whole bear versus man.

00:02:46.900 I don't even know where this got started.

00:02:49.080 I get it.

00:02:50.800 It seems like more and more.

00:02:52.640 I just kind of feel like, frankly, and I'm a little bit bitter and contentious today, so I want to throw that out there.

00:02:57.720 But I feel like more and more, we live in this society that just makes a mockery of what it means to be a man.

00:03:04.080 There's no woman in her right mind or in the circumstance would love to find herself confronted with a bear more than she would with a man.

00:03:12.020 I know it's cute.

00:03:13.200 I know it's clever.

00:03:14.440 I know it's funny. 1.00

00:03:15.940 I know we're supposed to take it with a grain of salt, but it's stupid. 1.00

00:03:19.460 It's dumb. 1.00

00:03:19.960 And I hate that I even have to bring it up here right now, but we do because this is a cultural issue that seems to affect every single person on the planet, and I'm sorry to say that women are afraid of men. 0.99

00:03:34.120 I'm sorry to say that they think that masculinity and manliness are the bane of their existence.

00:03:40.780 I'm sorry to say that there are so many men out there that have perpetuated these myths and these lies and this hurt amongst other women that they actually believe to some degree that they'd rather run into a mauling, carnivorous, incredibly powerful, destructive, dangerous animal than they would a man.

00:04:05.020 So I think it's our job as men to paint not only a positive light regarding what it means to be a man and what contribution we have to society, but also to make sure that we live that. 0.98

00:04:19.540 And so I have identified five things that we can employ every single day to ensure that this stupid stuff just doesn't take place. 0.98

00:04:27.540 Now, look, there's always going to be bitter women. 1.00

00:04:29.900 There's always going to be this contention and this animosity towards men and women.

00:04:33.840 I think this is part of the design to pit the females against the males, and it's unfortunate, but you're going to have a lot of hurt women and a lot of even hurt men and a lot of misinformed men and women who believe that we're supposed to be contentious and we are enemies and that women are against men and men are against women.

00:04:52.740 That's not the case.

00:04:55.060 Healthy men, healthy women know that we're different.

00:04:59.880 We as men are different than women.

00:05:01.500 We're not equal.

00:05:02.700 Everybody says we're equal.

00:05:03.620 We're not equal.

00:05:04.980 Equal means the same. 0.96

00:05:06.320 I'm not the same as the woman I'm dating.

00:05:08.800 She is not the same as me.

00:05:10.700 We both bring valuable contributions to the relationship independent of each other, and it's important we know that.

00:05:21.140 Any relationship that you've been in with a member of the opposite sex is the same for you. 0.93

00:05:25.560 You know that she adds and enhances your life in a way that you just aren't able to do yourself,

00:05:31.920 and it's the same thing that men do for women.

00:05:34.780 So let's break this down. 0.99

00:05:35.720 Number one, guys, unless we want to continue to live in this stupid thing where women are honestly saying, it's ignorance, but honestly saying that they'd rather meet a bear in the woods than a man. 0.99

00:05:45.760 Number one, we need to fix ourselves. 0.99

00:05:48.520 I think there's so many people that want to fix women, that want to fix society, that want to prove this and want to validate that. 0.73

00:05:58.180 Don't do that.

00:05:59.060 Just fix yourself.

00:06:00.080 Okay, physically, mentally, emotionally, if you're fat and you're out of shape and you're kind of a slob and you don't look the part and you're not acting the way that you should when it comes to your physical fitness, correct that behavior, please, as quickly as you can. 0.73

00:06:17.860 You know that. 0.90

00:06:18.740 I've been fat in my life.

00:06:19.880 There was one point in my life where I was 50 pounds more than I weigh today.

00:06:23.100 I'm telling you what, if I could choose between being fat and lazy and being fit and not lazy, excited about life, energetic about what life has to offer, I would always choose to be fit over being fat.

00:06:38.800 I can't believe this is even a debate.

00:06:40.640 I can't believe these are words that are coming out of my mouth, but it's the reality.

00:06:43.660 I would much rather be fit because not only do I feel better about myself, but I'm better able to fulfill my duties and my responsibilities and my obligations to the people around me.

00:06:56.220 So, guys, get that stuff in check.

00:06:58.640 Stop eating processed foods.

00:07:01.220 Stop consuming all of these plastics that are in every little element of what we consume from shampoos to soaps to toothpaste to even the food that we consume.

00:07:11.400 Get that stuff out of your body.

00:07:12.820 Think about the fuel that you're feeding to the machine that is you and make sure that you're feeding it as properly as possible and then making yourself capable in all ways.

00:07:23.300 Strength, stamina, endurance, stability, recovery, sleep, nutrition.

00:07:30.840 All of these things are so crucial.

00:07:32.980 Next is the mental side of it.

00:07:35.100 You know, how strong are you mentally?

00:07:36.720 If something challenging happens to you, do you crumble and wither away at the slightest sign of adversity or do you step up and really step into who you are meant to be as a man?

00:07:47.740 And how do we do this?

00:07:48.520 By putting yourself in difficult circumstances and situations, going to the jujitsu class, asking the woman on the date, starting the new business, having the difficult conversation, telling somebody how you really feel versus how you've always been telling them how you feel.

00:08:06.100 Guys, we need to develop some mental fortitude.

00:08:09.040 I would also suggest that having upfront real conversations with people.

00:08:15.460 When people have upfront real conversations with you, you don't cry and cower and wimp out and complain about how mean they're being.

00:08:23.220 You listen attentively and you think about the things that you can employ in your life that they're sharing with you that will make you better.

00:08:30.140 Develop some mental fortitude.

00:08:31.580 And the last is this emotional strength.

00:08:34.700 There's so much misconception around emotional strength.

00:08:40.140 I get it.

00:08:42.580 You know, things are emotional.

00:08:44.100 Things are challenging.

00:08:45.420 There's difficult circumstances that you've been faced with in life, whether it's your own doing or something completely outside of your control.

00:08:52.920 But I just, I personally, you can decide for yourself.

00:08:56.800 But personally, I don't want to succumb to my emotions.

00:09:00.120 I don't want to cry because I'm feeling bad.

00:09:04.280 I don't want to react or lash out at other people because I'm feeling angry.

00:09:08.300 I don't want to slink away from doing what I need to do or want to do because I feel guilt or shame about the way I've showed up in the past.

00:09:16.460 I'm not interested in that.

00:09:17.860 And I don't think you should be either.

00:09:20.520 I think you should be fully aware of your emotions, fully aware of how you're feeling and what you're experiencing so that you can move forward in confidence.

00:09:30.740 When we talk about stoicism, which is a really hot topic, so many people believe that it's this absence of emotion.

00:09:36.700 It's not.

00:09:38.300 It's the acknowledgement of it and utilizing it effectively to move forward in your life.

00:09:44.260 So this man versus bear argument, it really starts with yourself.

00:09:48.860 And I'm not here to tell you that we need to convince ourselves or women that we're worthy of their admiration or attention or respect.

00:09:56.820 The more we try to do that, the more we placate to this nonsense of the man versus bear mentality and the whole feminist movement that has pushed women in the wrong way and move society in a very dangerous and destructive direction. 1.00

00:10:12.340 Number two, lead by example.

00:10:16.680 All right, guys, we need to lead by example.

00:10:19.280 We need to be the example.

00:10:21.220 I haven't always been this way, but I'm trying to show up fully physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, relationally, financially.

00:10:28.280 The more that you can show up as an example to other people, the more they'll realize that you are not a threat at all.

00:10:34.940 In fact, you're an asset.

00:10:36.400 I would love the conversation to move from man versus bear to if I was faced with a bear, I would love to have a man with me.

00:10:45.640 And that's a metaphor for life.

00:10:48.220 The women begin to acknowledge that having a man in their life is better. 0.62

00:10:55.220 That having a man who's willing to step up between them and destruction is better than going at it alone.

00:11:02.500 And the way that we do that is to lead by example.

00:11:05.100 If we're offering or suggesting or encouraging people to act a certain way, then we need to be acting that way ourselves.

00:11:11.800 None of us are perfect.

00:11:13.200 We all fall short of our ideal and the ideal that we would suggest others live up to.

00:11:19.460 But man, if you aren't working towards that, I don't know what you're doing.

00:11:23.600 Start working towards the kind of man that you want to be.

00:11:26.360 Lead by example.

00:11:28.780 Stand as a beacon or a pillar of virtue and strength and courage.

00:11:35.100 And other people will see that and be compelled to follow or at least at a minimum to be around you.

00:11:41.420 Number three, we cannot be controlled by outside factors.

00:11:47.500 How many of you are controlled by your spouse?

00:11:51.640 How many of you are controlled by your boss?

00:11:54.720 How many of you are controlled by your financial circumstances?

00:11:57.780 How many of you are controlled by your clergy members?

00:12:04.000 How many of you are controlled by outside factors that you have no, absolutely zero control over?

00:12:12.580 Now, we do that by point number one and two, fixing yourself first, leading by example.

00:12:18.800 But you have to get over these people who would love to subjugate you.

00:12:23.860 They want to pat you on the head.

00:12:25.380 They want to tell you to be a good boy.

00:12:27.200 They want you to tell you to do it a certain way and behave this way.

00:12:32.660 And sure, there are elements of masculinity and manliness that are universal, but there's also parts that you just cannot live for somebody else.

00:12:43.540 The more that you live for somebody else, whether it's your spouse or your employer or your friends, the more willing you as a man are willing to jeopardize and sacrifice your own values and virtues.

00:12:55.600 Don't be controlled by external factors.

00:13:00.320 Be controlled by the internal ones.

00:13:02.640 Think about what your purpose is here.

00:13:04.800 Think about what you've learned.

00:13:06.040 Think about the lessons that you've acquired, the information that you've experienced, where you come from as a son of God.

00:13:15.540 That should be your only motivating factor.

00:13:18.180 And if you get that right, all of the other stuff falls into place.

00:13:20.880 If you know who you are eternally, spiritually, physically, mentally, emotionally, then there isn't going to be an outside factor that comes in and gets you to leave your post.

00:13:33.400 And that's what I want you to not do is to step down from the mantle of masculinity into this lower tier that just acquiesce everybody else's request, whether it's virtuous, noble, righteous or not.

00:13:45.660 The world would be a better place if you were so secure and confident in yourself that not a single person, entity, government, institution, employer, etc. can cause you to falter.

00:14:01.420 Be strong, be bold, be courageous, be assertive, be active, work to shore up your weaknesses and free yourself from the shackles that is the opinions of others.

00:14:11.880 Number four, teach your sons and teach your daughters. 0.99

00:14:17.020 We have a moral duty and obligation to not only lead by example, but to actively teach what our sons need to know so they can be great men.

00:14:26.180 To teach our daughters the lessons that we've experienced and what to look for in a great man.

00:14:31.060 If you cannot turn to your future generation, whether that's your son or your daughter, your niece, your nephew, the boys or girls that you happen to coach on the soccer or the baseball team,

00:14:41.400 and you can't turn around and help them, teach them life lessons on the soccer field or the baseball diamond or the football field.

00:14:50.700 What are you doing?

00:14:52.200 What are we doing?

00:14:53.700 Why are we here?

00:14:55.760 Man, we're here to serve.

00:14:57.360 We're here to lead.

00:14:58.220 We're here to communicate.

00:14:59.060 We're here to articulate and we're here to give back to the people who need to learn what we have to offer. 0.99

00:15:04.980 You've been through all sorts of shit in your life. 0.96

00:15:08.160 Whether you're 20, 40, 60, 80, whether you're a centurion and you're 100 plus years old, you've learned all sorts of things. 0.99

00:15:18.140 Don't let that stuff die with you.

00:15:20.900 Share it.

00:15:22.340 Impart it.

00:15:23.620 Bestow it.

00:15:24.840 Gift it to other people so they can benefit from the wisdom that you have experienced.

00:15:29.060 Over your course of your life.

00:15:31.340 Next, make principled stance.

00:15:34.780 It is so easy to waffle.

00:15:37.100 It's so easy to change your opinion and change who you are and change how you show up based on the way that your wife feels or based on the way that your employer feels.

00:15:48.040 Or even, heaven forbid, based on the way a random stranger on the internet feels about you or the issue you're discussing.

00:15:55.200 I've been talking about transgender issues over the past week, I would say, and I can't tell you how much hostility and vitriol is directed at me over the comments that I've made about a man being a man and a woman being a woman.

00:16:09.520 I am not dissuaded from somebody saying that I'm a bigot or I'm a homophobe or a transphobe or I need to educate myself.

00:16:17.240 Or one guy said, you really need to feel guilt and shame for the way you think and your parents should be ashamed.

00:16:24.680 I don't.

00:16:26.820 I'm not really that concerned with how other people view me.

00:16:31.020 I know what is right.

00:16:32.640 I know what is true.

00:16:34.360 I know what is accurate.

00:16:35.920 And I base my life's decisions on truth.

00:16:39.040 And the things that aren't true, I don't make decisions about on because it's not dealing and operating in reality.

00:16:46.380 We have a significant, significant portion of this country and the men and women in this country who believe that these are not issues.

00:16:55.080 And I promise you they are.

00:16:58.140 I promise you that you are, unfortunately, the silent majority.

00:17:02.920 I want you to be the vocal majority.

00:17:04.660 I want you to stand on principle and truth and list other people who are standing on the principle of truth and justice and righteousness and honesty.

00:17:16.500 The more of us, and believe me, it's the overwhelming majority of Americans, the more of us who band together and be strong and take stands, the more inspiring it is for other people to take these stands.

00:17:28.800 Guys, the last thing I want to share with you today is that you should enlist other men. 0.90

00:17:32.800 Again, we're tying this all back into the bear versus man conversation, which, again, is completely ridiculous.

00:17:40.220 Any woman that is ever facedown with a grizzly bear who wants to rip her eyeballs out and eat her fingers for a snack, know that that's not really what you'd want to face.

00:17:54.340 But perception is often reality.

00:17:56.660 And if there's this perception that men are going to take advantage of them, that men are going to misuse them or mistreat them or not protect them the way that we as men do for our women, then, of course, they're going to start to feel that way.

00:18:11.440 But what we need to do is we need to enlist other men in this battle.

00:18:15.100 It's not enough that you alone do what needs to be done.

00:18:17.840 And clearly, if that were the case, then all the women who answered this bear versus men question would have said men.

00:18:24.520 But it's not you alone.

00:18:28.120 It's your neighbors, your co-workers, the guy that sits right next to you in the cubicle that you barely talk to, your cousin that you haven't seen for five years.

00:18:38.940 Those are the people that met your neighbor who, you know, you casually wave to as you guys are both mowing the lawn.

00:18:46.140 These are the people who are important.

00:18:47.900 And it's very crucial that you enlist other men in this battle.

00:18:51.040 And it is a battle.

00:18:52.540 This isn't a passive thing.

00:18:54.040 This isn't something that just will go away on its own.

00:18:56.740 In fact, it's only going to get worse unless we're willing to step up and address the issues that we're dealing with.

00:19:02.180 I know it's fun.

00:19:03.660 I know it's cute.

00:19:04.760 I know there's a lot of social media posts that have gotten a real good laugh out of bear versus man.

00:19:10.720 But again, it's indicative of a greater problem.

00:19:13.020 And to turn the other cheek and assume that this isn't an issue is wrong and will lead us down a path that we're not interested in going.

00:19:23.860 But I think what I can share with you is that the overwhelming majority of what I shared with you today doesn't have to do with how a woman perceives you necessarily,

00:19:33.300 but how you perceive yourself, the work you're willing to do on yourself,

00:19:39.260 the challenges that you're willing to take on, the stands that you're willing to enlist in.

00:19:49.000 Guys, not to mention, this is very attractive to good women. 1.00

00:19:53.080 If you're strong and bold and courageous and assertive and all of these things that we talk about with regards to masculinity and a woman box at that,

00:20:00.340 she's not the one.

00:20:02.380 She is not the one.

00:20:04.040 She has been conditioned to believe lies and it's going to end badly.

00:20:08.000 But if you do all of these things and more, and you really buy into the culture of protect, provide, preside,

00:20:15.080 the women in your life who acknowledge that, who see that, they're going to appreciate it.

00:20:21.340 They are going to want more of it.

00:20:23.700 They are going to be excited to be in a relationship with you.

00:20:26.440 And that's how it should be.

00:20:27.540 They should be excited that they have access to you.

00:20:33.740 Not as a slight on who they are.

00:20:38.400 Not at all.

00:20:41.260 Strong women are out there. 1.00

00:20:42.860 I think women should be strong and bold and courageous and supportive.

00:20:46.920 Not everybody's going to be like that.

00:20:48.500 But just because we're those things doesn't mean that detracts or takes away from a woman to be able to be those things.

00:20:54.480 So I wanted to hit on this.

00:20:58.580 I think it's very important.

00:21:00.180 I'm going to do a better job about hitting these cultural things. 0.86

00:21:02.960 I've shied away from them in the past because they are so ridiculous that I just don't want to deal with them.

00:21:07.980 But if that's what it takes, if it takes me doing a video on bear versus man, then that's what I'll do.

00:21:15.740 If that's what gets dozens or hundreds or thousands or tens of thousands or even millions of people introduced to the valuable work that we're doing here with Order of Man, then that's what I'll do.

00:21:26.820 Because I know what we're doing.

00:21:28.780 I believe in what we're doing.

00:21:30.460 I hope you believe in what we're doing.

00:21:32.200 And I hope you believe in yourself.

00:21:34.120 Your wife does.

00:21:36.020 Your kids do.

00:21:37.940 Do you believe in yourself?

00:21:40.360 Do you believe that you would be that asset versus the liability?

00:21:43.500 That's what that bear versus man comes down to.

00:21:46.160 Are you an asset or a liability?

00:21:47.800 If she views you as an asset, then she's going to want you around.

00:21:51.240 If she views you as a liability, she's going to want the bear around.

00:21:54.420 Which one are you?

00:21:55.880 To recap here, number one, fix yourself mentally, physically, and emotionally.

00:21:59.400 Number two, lead by example.

00:22:01.440 Number three, do not be controlled by external circumstances, people, governments, institutions, employers, etc.

00:22:07.980 Number four, teach your sons and teach your daughters. 0.99

00:22:10.180 Number five, make principled stands.

00:22:13.080 And number six, enlist other men in the battle.

00:22:16.020 And by the way, if you are interested in enlisting other men into what you're doing and what you're thinking and what you're considering,

00:22:22.460 on June 15th, we open up the Iron Council.

00:22:25.120 We've got 200 spots.

00:22:26.520 No less, no more.

00:22:27.660 200 spots.

00:22:28.960 I would love to have you be one of those 200 spots.

00:22:32.080 It's going to be an incredible 2024.

00:22:34.760 We're going to teach you all the intricacies and nuance and the ins and outs of being a better man.

00:22:40.600 But you've got to join us to do it.

00:22:42.560 Orderofman.com slash Iron Council.

00:22:45.060 You're going to join a wait list.

00:22:46.660 And probably about the 10th, 11th, 12th, somewhere there in June,

00:22:50.820 I'm going to email you and tell you what you need to know in order to band with us,

00:22:55.580 over a thousand guys all doing the work.

00:22:58.080 Guys, I appreciate you.

00:22:59.700 Most importantly, I appreciate you taking this information to heart,

00:23:02.620 going out and leading your team, going out and serving your people

00:23:06.680 and being the kind of man that you want to be.

00:23:09.840 In the meantime, guys, go out there, take action, and become the man you are meant to be.

00:23:18.800 Thank you for listening to the Order of Man podcast.

00:23:21.780 You're ready to take charge of your life and be more of the man you were meant to be.

00:23:25.460 We invite you to join the order at orderofman.com.

00:23:32.620 We invite you to join the Order of Man podcast.

Order of Man - May 24, 2024

Man Vs. Bear ｜ FRIDAY FIELD NOTES

Episode Stats

Summary

Transcript