MATTHEW MCCONAUGHEY ｜ Greenlights
Episode Stats
Length
1 hour and 4 minutes
Summary
Matthew McConaughey joins Ryan on the podcast to discuss his new book, "Green Lights" and the importance of fatherhood as we approach Father's Day. In this episode, we discuss the power of being the underdog, reinventing yourself, the value of sacrifice, taking our fathers off pedestals they don't belong, and the benefits of being a man of action.
Transcript
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Most of you are probably well aware of Matthew McConaughey and his new book, Green Lights. Now,
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I'll admit I was a bit hesitant to read the book myself. I actually explained why to Matthew in
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this podcast. But after hearing from enough people that I had to read it or I had to listen to it,
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I decided to pick up a copy. And let me tell you, it did not disappoint. So when I had the
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opportunity to have Matthew join me on the podcast, I jumped at that chance. We talk about
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a lot of important topics, very, very important topics in this conversation and really hit on
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fatherhood as we're approaching Father's Day. We also discussed the power of being the underdog,
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reinventing yourself, the value of sacrifice, taking our fathers off pedestals they don't belong,
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and ultimately the concept and benefits of green lights in your life.
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You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest, embrace your fears, and boldly charge
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your own path. When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time, every time.
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You are not easily deterred or defeated, rugged, resilient, or strong. This is your life. This is
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who you are. This is who you will become at the end of the day. And after all is said and done,
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you can call yourself a man. Gentlemen, what is going on? My name is Ryan Mickler. I am the host and
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the founder of the Order of Man podcast. And as you know, we've got an incredible lineup, including
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my guest today, the one and only Matthew McConaughey. What a powerful and amazing opportunity
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to have a conversation with this man who has been extremely, extremely successful in his life and
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be able to take some of his information and insights and break it down over the course of
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our conversation and share with you. And that's ultimately what we're doing here on the podcast,
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guys, giving you the tools, the resources, the conversations, the insights and ideas from
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incredible men who have been very, very successful and then letting you have access to that information.
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So you and me and everybody else listening can apply that in our own lives. So we're going to get
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to the conversation here very, very quickly. Just really quickly do want to mention that I need your
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support. We're continuing to grow this grassroots movement of reclaiming and restore masculinity,
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but it's going to take your work as well as mine. I'm doing as much as I can here on my end.
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I ask that you band with me, that you march with me, that you stand in this fight to reclaim
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masculinity in this degenerate society that seems to be increasingly dismissive of it.
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And all I need you to do right now, a couple of things. Number one, leave a rating or review
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goes a very long way. It takes you two minutes. That's all I ask. Leave a rating or review. Very,
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very simple. In addition to that, just share this, take a screenshot of you listening to this podcast
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or a screenshot of, uh, uh, the app on your phone, wherever you're listening and just share it on
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the Instagram, on Twitter, on Facebook, on the socials, wherever you're doing the podcasting
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and social media thing and let people know what you're listening to. Cause there's men who need
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to hear what Matthew and I talk about today. And there's men who need to hear all of the
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conversations that we have with other incredible men and the insights that we've been sharing for the
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past six years. That's it. Very simple. Share, open your mouth. If you have good information,
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you have information that's going to serve other people, then I feel like we have a responsibility
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to let people know where they can access these tools. And it's right here with the order man
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podcast. So please do that. All right, guys, with that announcement, let me get to my guest.
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As I said earlier, this is the one and only Matthew McConaughey. And I'm sure none of you need an
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introduction to who this man is. We all know him from his iconic roles on the silver screen.
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Uh, but most of us have never been introduced to the depth of his thoughts and ideas and insights,
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which are plenty. Uh, in fact, that's why I enjoyed his new book green light so much, uh, in it,
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he gives us a glimpse into his life that most of us will never see or never have even considered
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before and showed us that in spite of his tremendous public success, he's a man who has had his share of
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failures and setbacks like all of us have. So guys, I really think you're going to enjoy this
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conversation as much as I did. And you're going to walk away with a new perspective into the life of a
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man that we may think, just think that we already know. Enjoy the conversation guys.
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All right, Matthew, good to see you, man. Glad you could join us on the podcast today.
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Look on honest confession time here for me. Uh, when your book came out, I'm like, nah,
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I saw it in the airport. I think that was the first time I saw it. I'm like, nah, I'm not going
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to read that book. Nah, I'm not going to read that book. And then I saw other people had you on their
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podcast and I heard interviews you did. I'm like, nah, I'm not going to read that book.
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And finally enough people said, you really ought to read the book. And, uh, I started listening a
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little bit more to your podcast. I read the book. I'm like, damn, I should have read the book earlier
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because it was amazing, man. I, uh, I actually listened to it and your narration and everything
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was just, it was incredible. I really enjoyed it. Thank you. Now question, fun question.
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How do you look at that and go, man, I'm not reading that book. Cause I know that a lot of people
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weren't going to read that book because I wrote that book. I don't think it was because you wrote
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the book. I had made some assumptions about you and I think Hollywood in general, like what's this
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guy going to teach me that I already haven't figured out on my own, or I'm not in the midst
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of learning for myself. Heard, heard. I figured, you know, I mean, I remember, I remember telling
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one of my publishers before I headed off to the desert to go write, I said, look, a lot of people
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are going to buy this book because I wrote it. Even if what's on the pages is crap. I go, a lot
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of people are not going to buy this book, no matter how good it is on the pages, because I wrote it.
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I go, I've got to, I remember writing this down on day four writing. I was like, look, may the words
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on these pages be worthy of sharing if they're signed by anonymous. And at the same time, be words
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that only I could have written. So that was sort of my North star for, because I understood
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I had a platform being who I am as a celebrity that some people are going to go, man, I dig
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McConaughey, I'll read it. I understood also my platform as a celebrity. Some people go, ain't no
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way I'm reading that book. Right. Well, I think one of the things that you talked about in the book
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that really resonated with me, I think it was towards the end when you were talking about you
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redefining yourself, your specifically your career from this rom-com guy to, hey, I got to stop doing
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that all together and redefine myself. Because I think a lot of people just naturally think,
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well, that's McConaughey. He's the rom-com guy. He's the good looking guy. He gets the chicks.
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And there's not much more depth to him than that.
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Right. Well, that's what was, you know, the success of those rom-coms and parlayed with the fact
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that paparazzi were taking pictures of me running shirtless on the beach every day out front of those
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The success of those made the industry and the public go, well, McConaughey's the rom-com guy.
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I mean, that's it. So when I wanted to go do dramas, the studios and everyone else were like,
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no way, dude, stay in your lane. And I was like, it's a good lane. I enjoy this lane.
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But it was a time where my life was getting so vital. I talk about it in the book. I would have
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Four. So, you know, I mean, man, after your first child, you know, man's never more courageous and
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masculine. And all of a sudden I was like, man, I'm feeling so vital in my life, much more vital
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than my work. And I was like, well, I'm glad it goes that way, you know, then the opposite. But I was
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like, I'd like to do some work that challenges the vitality I'm feeling in my life. That work was not
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coming my way. So because I couldn't do what I wanted to do, I had just decided to stop doing
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what I'd been doing. And as you see in the book, it took about two years to sort of unbrand and all
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of a sudden be a new good idea for those dramas I wanted to do. Well, one of the things that you
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talked about too is how much money you actually walked away from. And look, a lot of guys are in
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the same boat. I was in the same boat years ago. I was doing a financial planning practice. It was going
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well. I was having success, success. I was helping people. And I remember taking a phone
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call from a client that came up on the phone and I'm like, damn, I don't want to answer this call
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right now. Right. And it wasn't the work and it wasn't the client. I should say it wasn't the client
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individually. It was the work that I just was like, I'm done. I'm out.
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What'd you do when you did? I mean, cause I had that exact same moment when I had a production
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company and I had five employees at an office in Venice and I'm at home and the phone rang and
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their number came up and I knew it was from the office. And I went to pick up the phone and my
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hand paused. And I looked at my hand, I said, what are you doing? Pausing to pick up the damn phone
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call from your own office that you pay the salaries that you pay the rent. And I was like, I let it
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ring. And soon as it quit ringing, I picked up the phone and called my lawyer and said, no more
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production company, letting everything go, man. Because I was like, what? That makes no sense. I was
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like, what'd you do after that call? I had a time. I remember I had a real heart to heart
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with my wife and I said, hon, I'm not in this thing anymore. I had already started what I'm
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doing here now, but it wasn't full time. And I had a real heart to heart. And over the
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course of, I would say six months or so, phased out of that business, sold my financial planning
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practice and ramped this thing up and went full time with this, what we're doing now.
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Yeah. Well, it was a big gamble, but you said, you said it when you talked about in the book,
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you know, you've been into gambling, but gambling and investing in yourself, right? That's the
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biggest gamble you can take. And the one that's going to pay off the most.
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And the one that, you know, if it works, you can look in the mirror and go, good job.
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You know, if it doesn't work, you can look in the mirror and go, bogey. You know, it's the
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knowing. It's the not knowing when we do, when we start investing in so many other things that are
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like, we start these little campfires out there and have a trust in other people to get it done
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the right way. Or, you know, we're not quite sure. We over leverage our stuff. You don't know where
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the cracks are. You don't know where the cracks and transitions, things will get done exactly how
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you want to be. And you go to bed, not knowing. It's the not knowing that'll keep me up at night.
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I'd rather, you know, it's, it's the going, what if I would have had the courage to say,
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no, I'm going to do that. And I'm going to invest in myself. Um, that it's the not knowing and going,
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why did that not work? It's part of the reason why I haven't been acting here recently. I,
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my last few films, I am very clear on why I did the films. No, and they were, they were not financial.
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They were not box office hits. I was very clear and still am clear with why I did the film. I'm
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very clear with that. The experience I had making those films was excellent. Where I've got a blind
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spot is in the third act of, wait a minute, the movie didn't do well. Was that a marketing
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problem? Did we come out of the wrong? That was the stuff that was out of my hands.
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And then it fumbled, you know, and, and, and, and it didn't see the light of day.
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That blind spot made me go, damn it. I don't like having that blind spot. I want to have a little
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more control. No, if it works. Yep. If it doesn't, yep. Then I know.
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Well, you know, it's a, it's a scary thing when you gamble on yourself, but it's also very empowering
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because let's say it doesn't work out and it isn't going to work out a lot of the time,
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at least the way you see it initially. Well, you actually have the power to do something about
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it. And to me, that's empowering rather than putting it in somebody else's hands.
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It's, I mean, there's the buzz, right? There's, there, there's, there's part of trying to get
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our eight seconds on the bull in this rodeo called life right there. I mean, you know,
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I don't always know what the hell I want to do. I got, I got people I work with. I go into,
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I start something and then think I've got it down. The plan doesn't go as well. And I
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seek counsel, you know, from people who can hopefully tell me the truth or say, Oh, you know
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what? There's actually someone in there's someone with the title that does what you're looking for.
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And I'm like, Oh, I didn't know that person exists. Yes. Here they are. And he, Oh, thank you. Or,
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you know, my wife will nudge me in a way where she'll go. I think you're getting off in the weeds
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over here. And I'll be like, my first reaction is no, I'm not. And then I look at it.
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Don't tell me my business. Yeah. You're right. I mean, let me get back, back focused. Um,
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but I don't, it's a buzz trying to figure out. I love, it makes us, I love feeling like an
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underdog. I love it when I'm like, Oh, okay. I'm, I'm, I'm in a pinch here. I'm not sure where to go.
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This isn't working out exactly how I planned on it working out. Now. Why? Why? Well, here we go.
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I, that's a, that's a fun buzz that I, that I, that I enjoy.
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I'm with you. I think a lot of people enjoy that, but I also think a lot of people are so afraid or,
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uh, create excuses. You know, let's go back to those preconceived notions. Cause I know what
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some people listening to this podcast are already going to say about you making pivots in your life
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and gambling on yourself is in their mind or even verbally. They're saying, well, that's easy for you
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to say. Right. And then they excuse themselves because they think you have it different or
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they're an Island or nobody else has ever experienced what they are currently experiencing.
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Right. I mean, I hear you. Um, you know, let's look at this last year and a half with COVID.
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Am I, and you probably in a privileged position say my pantry was full. Um, I didn't have to work
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today to pay the rent tomorrow. Was that a, a privileged position? Sure. Have, do I believe
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I've earned it? Yeah. But does trying to see the upside of this last year and a half of limbo of,
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hey, double down on family where you can, um, uh, double down on doing personal inventory
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because now we're forced to, does that still applicable to someone who may be out of a job
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or maybe, maybe whose pantry may not be full? Yes, it is. Um, so I'm not speaking to you from
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up high going, Oh, I have access to, uh, um, something different than, than, than you do,
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or I have access to approaching the hardship situation differently than someone else. It's, it's,
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it's so, no, it's, it's applicable to, to, to anyone. Um, I mean, it, it, it, it's easy to say
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that it's easy to say what you said to people. Oh, well, that's easy for you to say. Well,
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no, we all got different hardships that are of equivalent natures, no matter what, no matter
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where, how successful we are. Um, so the approach and how you, how we look at a hardship or crisis
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is universal is we, that's the one where it's like, I don't always say this, we're all victims,
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but do we choose to be victimized is where the choice comes in, which everybody's got that choice
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at any level, as far as I can tell. Yeah, I, I agree with that. We've all had bad things happen
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to us. We all have rough upbringings in one form or the other, or had a bad experience. And you can
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use that as an excuse to self-destruct. I've done that in my life or you can use it and say,
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you know, yeah, that was a shitty situation or that wasn't ideal, or I wish I would have had it
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differently, but let me create something different from that. And let me learn from those lessons.
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I mean, you talk about that with your, I mean, your wild upbringing with your mother and your
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father and your brothers. It's, it was, uh, it was very interesting because I saw a lot of what you
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experienced in, in my own, in the parallels of my own childhood and upbringing. Very,
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very interesting stuff. How, how, how'd you see it in your own upbringing? I mean,
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you know, a lot of those stories that in, in the book I talk about my upbringing, people,
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their hand goes to their mouth in horror. Yeah. Yeah. They go, oh my gosh, you must've
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needed Matthew so much psychiatric help. They're like, oh my gosh, you poor baby. I mean, I wish you,
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but you were so happy to get out of that house. No, no, those were love. Those were love stories. I don't judge.
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How my mom and dad raised us. If anything, I applaud them. They had different means of going
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about raising my kids than I have about going about raising my kids. Um, they had different
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means about raising us than I do go about raising mine, but I don't judge. I mean,
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it's a lot of things worked out well, and there was a lot of genius in how they did it. It's how
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they knew. Um, we never came away injured yet. Was there some pain to where we hurt? Yeah,
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but we weren't ever injured. Um, and, uh, it was just their style and it's what they knew. And,
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and, and, and so I see those as love stories, you know, and I, and I tell those stories that
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usually had to do with some sort of violence because that's when the love our family had
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was tested the most. That's when the typical stereotypical, the stereotypical story you
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think, oh, this is when it breaks. Oh, this is when the family implodes and breaks, blows up. No,
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no, not so. It was tested. The iron was tested in the fire, but it was never going to break.
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Yeah. I like that. You know, I, I look at my own experience with, with, uh, my father and what I
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used to do is I used to put them up on this pedestal as an adult, I would put them up on a
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pedestal. Uh, and, and I would say, you know, uh, he should be this, he should do that. He should
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perform this way. He should show up this way for me. Uh, and it really wasn't until I lost him several
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years ago that I realized, oh, you know what? He isn't the superhero that I made him out to be.
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And I thought I couldn't take him down off that. But when I took him down off the pedestal and I
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said, man, I'm like, I've, I've, when I look in the mirror, it's like, I'm looking at my dad,
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my personality, my beard, the way I look, the way I speak. And I'm like, oh, I'm not perfect.
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Got it. Neither was he, but I expected him to be. And that was my fault to place that on him.
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You know, message and messenger. And I had a similar experience after my father passed away
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where I immediately saw at the wake when people spoke that the message he had given me that I
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had taken for Bible. Oh, that's who he is. He's a hundred percent. He's he, I have him on that same
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pedestal. But I was like, oh, he actually wasn't living that out. And the first reaction is F you,
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right? Yes. But you know, it's like meeting your heroes for, you know, and you go and you meet him,
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you're like, oh, geez, I wish I wouldn't have met him. They were way low under the bar. You know what
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I mean? But that's our own projection. That's on us, as you just said. And I was able to very quickly
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go, oh, okay. That doesn't mean my dad meant and was hoping for me to live up to those values even
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more so than he could. He still wanted to teach that message. And I was like, well, all right,
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bravo on him. He didn't live up to a lot of them. He didn't, he didn't walk the,
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he didn't walk the talk and a lot of things that he, that he taught me. Well, most of the stuff he
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did, but a lot of stuff I saw gaps and I was what, but I came, you know, pretty quickly after that was
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like, all right, not only do I forgive him, even as it's almost arrogant to say, I forgive him.
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Actually, I need to get a more realistic look of who he actually is. And as you said, it becomes a
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mirror. Well, actually a more realistic look of who the hell I am. Right. Yeah. I began to understand,
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you know, the first time I ever smoked pot was with my dad. He, he is the one who,
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who lit it up and gave it to me. And I, and I, I remember thinking about that, like,
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what the hell's wrong with them? Like, what the hell's wrong with this guy? And now I look at it
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and think, Oh, he just didn't want me to run around on the streets with whoever smoking pot on the
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streets. Like, he's like, Hey, if you're going to do this, let's do it here in a controlled
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environment. That's going to sound really foreign to somebody who's never experienced anything like
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that. But I look at that experience so much differently. Uh, and that was an expression as weird as I
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know. It sounds an expression of love. It was an expression of love and it has its own logic,
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you know? And, and it's, is it something that you put out there in the child rearing, uh,
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constitution for how all parents should do? Not necessarily, but in that for your father and for
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you at that time, that made sense for him being a good father and risk reward. You could say, Hey,
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thanks dad. I'm really interested in your, uh, your, your concepts of rite of passages. You talked
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about a couple of experiences in your life, uh, one with your father at the bar. Uh, and then you
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talked about having your first child. I think that's very important. And it's something that is
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increasingly less common in society is the initiation and rites of passages of our boys.
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Yeah. It's, uh, it's something that's on my mind often. Also with the fact that my children have
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been born into a more fluent situation than I was born into. Um, I, one of the things that's on my
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mind a lot is like, do they have enough resistance or they do they have enough? Am I putting them in a
00:20:23.120
position to have to overcome enough thing? Are they getting, are they in a position to get, they need
00:20:28.240
to get, you know, draw a little blood, get some bruises. It's like, I try to look at it. Like
00:20:32.620
it's like, how high of a limb do you let your children climb? Because children aren't afraid
00:20:39.240
of heights until they fall. How high of a limb do you let them climb before you go, Hey bud,
00:20:43.920
come on down over here. Uh, check this out. You know, we call our, we call our kids in off the,
00:20:51.160
off of limbs too low too often. I think it's like, no, they'll fall from there. There's St.
00:20:56.360
Augustine grass blow. It's going to hurt. They're going to bruise, but I don't think
00:21:00.060
we're going to have to go to the emergency room. Let them climb. Don't, you know, cause
00:21:03.720
you get them that first time. Remember they're not afraid of heights, but if they're on that
00:21:06.840
limb, you go, no, no, no, get down from there. Get down there. I know what you fall. All
00:21:09.560
of a sudden, man, you've just created a threshold for them where they find fear in life sooner
00:21:15.160
than maybe they should. And won't have courage to do things or test themselves out. So what
00:21:20.980
are those limbs? That seems to be an art. I think of parenting of what limbs do you, how
00:21:24.940
high do you let them go and how far out on limb do you let them go before you say, and
00:21:28.660
then when they're on that one, that's too high that you're like, Oh geez, no man, that's
00:21:31.900
a cement fall and it's 40 feet. This is what ended badly. You don't go get down from there.
00:21:36.120
You got to be kind of cool. You know, like, Hey, come here a minute. Cause you don't want
00:21:39.660
to stop the confidence, right? Check this out. No, really? It's really cool. Get them down
00:21:43.700
on the ground and be like, all right. I didn't want to let them know they should have been
00:21:46.920
scared, but I want them to be safe. Um, I think about it all the time. And I mean, do we
00:21:52.640
have America doesn't have rituals of rites of passage? We have, what do we have? And
00:21:59.060
I mean, you know, you still have, sometimes you get church on Sunday, you still have a
00:22:05.000
meals, sit down meals. Um, but for the most part, you know, it's, it's what it's Monday
00:22:11.180
night football. It's sports. NYPD blue back when that was a hit show that everyone watches.
00:22:17.180
I don't know that those are rich enough rituals for, for us to have, for our children to see
00:22:27.640
that understand initiations and rites of passage. You don't have initiations on the internet.
00:22:32.860
All you got to do is say you're an expert and you can quote unquote be one.
00:22:37.600
No, what do you mean? And you know, so I had a friend wanted me to marry him and I said,
00:22:42.080
I'm not a priest. They go, yeah, you can, you can be ordained in nine minutes online.
00:22:45.840
I was like, I don't think that, I'm not going to say that qualifies. Hang on a second.
00:22:51.000
Like, no, you can. I was like, well, just because they say I can, doesn't mean I really
00:22:53.900
am. And my, for my constitution, I mean, you can just up and say, you're telling the facts
00:22:59.400
for whoever you are. Anyone can be an expert if they just say they are. There's no rite
00:23:03.260
of passage there. There's no understanding that no, you have to work to earn something.
00:23:08.100
And you know, you, you, you, it's like that old quote brain surgeon. You know what I mean?
00:23:12.580
You know, I stayed in Holiday Inn Express last night. Well, no, you're not the guy I want,
00:23:16.420
man. I want to really train working on my brain. You know what I mean? If that, if it comes to that.
00:23:23.880
Yeah. I fear that. I, what's your take on it? I fear we don't have enough of it.
00:23:28.800
And that it may not be the healthiest thing for our kids to be prepared to go negotiate life.
00:23:34.660
I think you're exactly right. You know, you were talking about sports or getting lost in
00:23:38.960
entertainment. And what we tend to do is live vicariously through other people, right? I want
00:23:43.580
to be on that team. I want to even hear it when people talk about their teams. Hey, we won.
00:23:48.440
You didn't do anything. You didn't contribute. Oh, it was the 12th man. No, you didn't contribute at
00:23:54.020
all. You, you enjoyed it and there's nothing wrong with that, but you didn't do anything about it.
00:23:58.560
What are you doing with your own life? Or what I also see is guys who are, I have friends. I've been,
00:24:03.960
I've been out of high school for 21, almost 22 years. I have friends that still talk about that
00:24:11.420
one football game where we did that one thing and it, you know, didn't pan out the way we wanted
00:24:16.240
to, or it went right. And it's like, man, that was two decades ago, bro. What are you, what are you
00:24:20.720
doing now? Turn the page, turn the page. Yeah. I mean, it's also a little of that Tom Cruise days of
00:24:27.160
thunder. You know, you, you're a good driver. I've never driven before. What do you mean? Never
00:24:31.640
driven before. How are you going to drive? Well, watch it on TV. Right. Well, hang on a second,
00:24:37.220
you know? Um, yeah, we're, I come from a place in East Texas where, you know, a place where that,
00:24:47.380
there are still people that I was at school with that are still like your friends living off that
00:24:51.940
state championship or living off of that game where they won district or that run. And I'm all for
00:25:00.300
that, but yeah, you gotta, you gotta, I think you gotta turn the page. I mean, and even let's
00:25:07.180
heighten other accomplishments. Let's go further than that. Graduated high school. Bravo. Yes. Let's
00:25:13.880
all have our celebration, but Hey, that don't, what's that mean? GED now that's not, don't let
00:25:21.340
this be the greatest thing. Okay. You graduated college. Bravo, but stay chomping at the bit.
00:25:26.960
That's not what's a college education gets you now. Not what it used to. Um, two, you, you,
00:25:33.120
you went, you went an Oscar. Great. So, okay. But so what that you didn't, there's not a taught
00:25:38.180
our moment. And we're kind of sort of on autopilot go to like things where like we get overly pleased
00:25:44.780
with ourselves. Right. And we find ourselves living off of that. And then if we, when we don't,
00:25:49.880
when we don't have that next victory or we don't get to that next stage of accomplishment,
00:25:54.880
something, I feel it too. Start to feel insignificant. Like, ah, I need to accomplish
00:25:59.220
something else. Well, or that accomplishment that we've been living off gets so far in the
00:26:06.020
damn rear view mirror that we're the same conversation every night at the bar. And our
00:26:11.400
friends are like, dude, are you still telling the same damn story? You know what I mean? It's like,
00:26:17.240
One thing I think, uh, society has done in general is also made us complacent and satisfied with our
00:26:26.500
past performance. So, Hey, you want an Oscar? Look at you, look how great you are. And everybody's
00:26:31.160
going to pat you on the back and everybody's going to stroke your ego and tell you how wonderful you
00:26:35.400
are. Or they'll look at me and say, Oh yeah, but you know, look at your podcast, look how great it is.
00:26:39.760
And we're supposed to be satisfied for me. I'm like, you know, yeah, all that stuff is true. And all that
00:26:45.240
stuff is great. And I'm so grateful that I've had those opportunities and been able to have some
00:26:48.860
successes as I'm sure you are, but I'm not satisfied with the lesser version of myself.
00:26:55.620
There's still more to be uncovered and still more to be developed.
00:27:00.000
Bingo. Now why my hunch is that that logic right there, everybody can purchase that if they look in
00:27:10.000
the mirror and ask themselves, I mean, I always say like, who better to investigate than ourselves,
00:27:16.200
who better to chase than our transcendent and better selves? Uh, who, you know, no. And I think
00:27:24.020
this is, this is part of it. We were such a results oriented people. And you took, you were
00:27:29.100
talking about in this con, this exact conversation right here. Ah, you achieve that. Ah, live on that.
00:27:34.820
You did it. Ta-da. I mean, geez, retire, man. Hang on a minute. That's because we think we
00:27:41.020
landed at a place and we've been told, here's your blue ribbon. Here's your gold medal. That's
00:27:45.320
more than most people have done. Hey man, sit back. We put these little man-made roofs over our
00:27:51.640
head about like, well, that's, that's as good as it can get. Right. I mean, I'm going to live off of
00:27:56.920
that. No, I tell this, I, I, I'm a believer in Icarus, the Icarus story of Icarus in reverse.
00:28:04.460
You know, father takes his son. They fly too close to the sun. Son don't go too close to the sun. Son
00:28:08.940
claps. He, the boy flies too close to the sun. The sun melts the wax on his wings and he falls to the
00:28:14.280
ocean. I think that what we suffer from as a society is the opposite of that. We think it's getting too hot
00:28:22.060
when it ain't even 50 degrees yet. Right. You know, it's like, we think we're getting too close
00:28:27.300
and things could be working out. We, we, we, we choke at the proverbial goal line instead of like
00:28:32.180
pulling a Bo Jackson and not only running over the goal line, go through the end zone and up the
00:28:35.920
tunnel, man. You know, the sniper doesn't aim at the target. He aims on the other side of it.
00:28:40.820
So keep aiming on the other side and knowing, knowing that you never get there. That's the game.
00:28:46.280
We never get to, it's all, these are, the summits are real that we peak.
00:28:51.120
But there are false summits in the thought that that's the summit. On the other, once you reach
00:28:57.380
that summit, there's a million more summits. And you can't see those until you get to that
00:29:02.240
first false summit. You're not even going to be able to see it. Uh-uh. And to think that, you know,
00:29:07.000
we're sometimes tapping to the 11th percent of our brain capacity. We get nervous about what,
00:29:14.180
how ambitious we can be way too early in the game. I mean, we're on the, we're on, we're on the,
00:29:19.140
we're on our own 15 yard line doing touchdown dances. We're like, man, you get this game.
00:29:25.900
You got a lot more yards to go. Don't hold yourself back here, man.
00:29:30.360
Yeah. I think, I think we've done a wonderful job at making everything so comfortable. You and me
00:29:36.580
were talking about AC right before we hit record on the thing and we've got AC and we've got this
00:29:41.260
technology and you know, I need some food. I don't need to go hunt for it. I just go down to the
00:29:44.900
convenience store and just pick up some Snickers or whatever I want. And so we have no relative
00:29:51.880
understanding of hardship. The AC goes out as people's worst day or the 16 year old kid
00:29:57.440
messes up your, your, your order at McDonald's and you flip out at a kid. And that's your,
00:30:03.580
that's the worst part of your day. I mean, even in the wake of COVID it does, but even in the wake of
00:30:09.260
people like, Oh, you know, like I can't, I can't go out. It's like, well, first you can go out,
00:30:13.720
but let's say you adhere to that. That's actually not really that bad in the grand scheme of things.
00:30:18.520
I mean, relativity. All right. And we don't get relatives quick enough. I had people during COVID
00:30:26.560
going, you know, months ago going, Oh, we had to go out to Clark's. I mean, we did, we need,
00:30:31.760
I said, we had to, we had to go out to the restaurant. I was like, no, hang on. You didn't
00:30:35.600
have to, you chose to. And I'm not, that was your own choice, but don't act like that was a need
00:30:41.000
for your survival. You wanted to, you desired to, and you did. That's very different than your
00:30:47.260
need for fricking survival to go to your favorite five-star restaurant. Uh, six months ago in the
00:30:53.500
middle of COVID, that was your choice. You wanted to, you got cabin fever, you got a little uncomfortable,
00:30:58.160
your food that you're eating out of your fridge started to taste the same a little after a while.
00:31:01.180
You didn't need to go to Clark's school. You wanted to, that's a different thing. Um, we also
00:31:08.400
don't, you know, we don't know where, where it comes from. We don't, we're not a hunter and
00:31:15.860
gatherer society as much anymore. We don't have to, it is convenient. It's right there. It's right
00:31:21.120
here to Amazon click touch of a finger, right? It was on the whole world. Bring it to me like
00:31:26.760
that convenience and convenience is great, but it's a, it's, we, we, I think we have to notice.
00:31:34.100
Look, what did you remember? What do I remember? The lessons I remember in my life are things that
00:31:37.460
I had to experience or earn them. Definitely. The travels that we take and I stay in the,
00:31:43.660
some of the finest places in the world. What are the, what are the trials that I remember the most?
00:31:48.180
What are the ones that my 12, 11 and eight year old kids remember the most?
00:31:51.240
They remember that when we had to hike 13 miles a day through Patagonia and the snowstorm came
00:31:59.020
through, there's the story. That's the ones they remember. Yes. Of course. They remember when we
00:32:03.000
got lost in Yellowstone and had to work our way out and figured out that's where they're like,
00:32:07.980
their eyes light up. They don't remember the silk sheets of the Four Seasons where we stayed at the
00:32:13.360
resort. They had a good time. I'm not against the Four Seasons, but I'm saying the ones they remember,
00:32:18.180
the stories that are told, the ones that light their, light them up when they still remember
00:32:22.340
and talk about them. It's those that were, had a little bit of resistance to them. You had to
00:32:26.680
figure something out. You had to go chop your wood for your fire. Um, and I'll say this, those trips
00:32:33.900
make me, and I think all of us appreciate the silk sheets of the Four Seasons a lot more when we go.
00:32:40.820
They feel a lot smoother, don't they? Amazon, deliver that. Thank you.
00:32:44.040
All right, man. I got to hit the pause button very, very quickly. And then we'll get back to it.
00:32:50.200
Five years ago, uh, I decided that I wanted to create a brotherhood of men who could all learn
00:32:55.120
and glean information from and hold each other accountable. And now five years later with almost
00:32:59.940
1000 men from all over the planet, we have done exactly that in the iron council. This is the premier
00:33:06.580
brotherhood and it's all designed from our monthly topics to our challenges, to our app,
00:33:11.800
and our conversations, to give you insights and tools and resources, everything you need to live
00:33:17.380
your best life as a man. And as an exclusive men's brotherhood, it makes it possible for us to have
00:33:25.420
the real conversations and the real accountability that is hard, if not impossible to find anywhere
00:33:32.240
else. So if you're ready to take it up a notch or 10 notches in your life, you want to band with
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exclusively other men who can help you do that. Then join us inside of our brotherhood,
00:33:42.740
the iron council. You can do that at order of man.com slash iron council. Again, that's order
00:33:48.680
of man.com slash iron council. Hopefully we'll see you inside until then let's get back to the
00:33:54.320
conversation with Matthew. Well, I think you bring up a good point in that we need to fabricate may not
00:34:01.860
be the right word, but we do need to fabricate or manufacture or create these hardships and these
00:34:08.200
experiences. Not only so we'll appreciate the good stuff, but remember that we actually have it
00:34:13.540
pretty good. That life is pretty good. You want food? You got it. You want a roof over your head?
00:34:18.040
You got it. You want to get a little warmer, a little cooler? You got it. Easy. All with the touch
00:34:21.480
of a button. Now let's remember, and we're recording this on the back of Memorial Day.
00:34:26.220
Uh, let's remember that there are hundreds of thousands of people who paid the ultimate sacrifice,
00:34:32.920
who, who went through hardships, you know, storming the beaches of Normandy hardships.
00:34:37.700
You and I can't even fathom so that we could have this conversation or press that button or get that
00:34:43.600
food at the grocery store. Yep. And so I could say before we got online, oh, that AC, you can hear it in
00:34:51.400
the background, but if I turn it off, I'm going to get a little shiny and start sweating later in the
00:34:54.760
conversation. Well, great. Yeah. Whoa. Big risk there, McConaughey. Yeah, right. Right. But I mean,
00:35:01.440
you got, it's, it's, it's, look, America, let's talk about it. America needs, needs, needs to go to
00:35:07.400
rehab. We got on it. We don't give a value to sacrifice because we don't have to. And people go,
00:35:16.840
why would you want to, you want to make it hard for yourself when it can be so easy? Well, that's a
00:35:22.240
good question. I'm not, I'm not talking about making things, making everything harder, but
00:35:27.440
the cocktail at the end of the day tastes better after I put in the damn good days of work.
00:35:35.180
The Saturday out on the lake with the kids, I'm having a better time if I, if I did the best I
00:35:41.060
could in my work week. If I, if I, if I went and I, and I grinded, um, it just, you don't, you
00:35:49.360
know, we don't respect what we have unless we, unless we remember that we got to, we
00:35:54.340
got to work. We got to, we got to work for certain things. America needs a civics class
00:35:57.940
again. You know what I mean? We could really use a civics class. I mean, anyone under 60,
00:36:02.820
I was writing this down last night. It seems like everyone under 60 years old could use a
00:36:06.160
civics course in America. We have no sense of how young we are, of the sacrifices that have
00:36:12.260
been made that were 200 and what, 60 something years from 1776, however many years that is, how
00:36:16.920
young of a country we are, we're still puppies. Um, how short of a time we've been here in
00:36:22.740
the lineage of the dynasties of worlds and continents and countries and dominations through
00:36:27.340
history. We have no concept of it. Um, and you know, my mom's 90, she's with us. She's
00:36:34.940
from that generation where she's like, Hey, what are you, you, you, you better appreciate
00:36:40.420
that you're getting a hot breakfast. She tells my kids, I'm walking in here without a smile
00:36:45.700
on your face in the morning for breakfast. You don't want to guarantee you this food
00:36:49.120
right here, but my mom, you know, no one guarantees you that damn someone's going to
00:36:52.140
rise this morning. You got another day. So that's one, you better wake up and check that
00:36:55.960
off your list. And my kids are like, Whoa, uh, okay, mama. And I just tell them, I'm like,
00:37:01.480
that's right. How do you, so besides having your mother there, cause that, that's a, that's
00:37:07.200
a valuable asset in that, in that, uh, in that space, how do you, as a man of means
00:37:12.600
and of affluence and, and, and notoriety and fame, make sure that you're still instilling
00:37:20.140
that in your children. When I would say, I don't want to put words in your mouth, but
00:37:25.520
the opportunities may be a little bit more abundant to you than the average individual
00:37:30.180
who doesn't have that same opportunity. So I'm really curious what you do to create that
00:37:35.300
for your kids. I try and I hope I'm doing, I think I'm doing as good as well as I can
00:37:39.660
at it. I'm not completely convinced I'm pulling it off as well as I can be, but that's, I'm
00:37:44.840
trying. Um, son goes to school. This happened a couple of years ago. Kid at school. Oh, I
00:37:54.040
bet you live in a big house. Cause your dad's rich and famous. Son's kind of like, I said,
00:37:59.480
how do you feel? He goes, well, I got, I got kind of shy. And I was like, well, yeah, we,
00:38:02.980
we, we, we, we do live in a nice house. And he goes, but I didn't know what to say
00:38:06.840
after that. I said, okay, number one, someone ever says to you, oh, I bet you got
00:38:15.100
this because you don't ever, don't ever lower your head. You look them right in the
00:38:19.420
eye. Now, why is your dad rich and famous? Because of the work he did, because I worked
00:38:28.440
my tail off at my craft to create something, to supply something that was in enough demand
00:38:34.720
that it, it paid, it paid for, it gave us the means to have this house. I studied, I
00:38:41.480
worked, delayed gratification. I, this happened when I won the, uh, Oscar and got the trophy
00:38:47.980
for a Dallas Buyers Club. My kids go, what's the trophy? And it went off, you know, as fathers,
00:38:53.360
sometimes our kids will ask a question and we know right then I've got an opportunity for
00:38:57.280
an awesome answer. Definitely. Definitely. And I went, do you remember a year ago when
00:39:02.780
we were working in New Orleans and dad was leaving, you get up in the morning at 7am,
00:39:06.280
dad was already gone and he'd come home and you said he looked like a giraffe because his
00:39:10.840
neck was so skinny. And they're like, Hey, I remember that. I go, the work I was doing
00:39:14.680
every day when I was gone for that month, a year later, yesterday, my peers gave me a trophy
00:39:21.500
for it and said, we deemed that the most excellent work. And they, they clicked. They got the
00:39:26.620
first concept that, Oh, wait a minute. You can work today and get rewarded tomorrow.
00:39:33.960
That it's not like, cause they're, you know, children and most of us get to feel like it's
00:39:38.000
immediate gratification only. I want mine now. And I want what I can get now and what I'm doing.
00:39:43.700
I need to result now. We got to take longer investments in ourself. Again, certain sacrifices
00:39:50.260
will reap larger rewards down the line. And that's hence what I mean by the title of green
00:39:55.760
lights. That's those green lights. We're talking about the ones, not the battery powered ones,
00:39:59.540
talking about the solar powered ones, man. The ones that are, that are going to keep shining
00:40:03.260
for us further down the line and hopefully shine after we're out of this life.
00:40:08.080
You know, um, delayed gratification, I think is something we don't give enough credit to.
00:40:12.320
Adults too. Me as an adult, I don't, I don't think we do. I don't think we,
00:40:16.420
when I say American needs rehab, I think we, we don't give enough value to a delayed gratification.
00:40:21.600
I think we're, we're, we're, I want it now. I want to win on the scoreboard now.
00:40:26.180
And you can tally up the, you know, the, the, the dead bodies later, as long as I win immediately.
00:40:36.080
That's true. That's a good point too. A lot of, uh, redefining yourself, a lot of sacrifice,
00:40:41.660
a lot of letting things go in order to make things work for some distant future that may or may not
00:40:46.980
present itself. Yeah. But believe in it, you know, believing in it, trusting in it, you know,
00:40:54.100
it's always a little unknown, but we don't, we don't like to project or believe that we can
00:40:58.260
invest now to get it. We don't trust that reward will actually come later, you know, but most of
00:41:04.440
the time it does. If we do what we need to do on a daily basis to be as good of a man as we can be,
00:41:08.840
as good of a woman as good of a parent, as good of a father, as good at our work, those rewards
00:41:13.820
will come and in larger sizes and in with wider and deeper roots than if we take the immediate
00:41:20.540
satisfaction as often as we do. When you talk about, uh, America needing rehab, is this where
00:41:26.940
a lot of your political aspirations and desires come from? Is it this, is it something else? Is it a
00:41:32.320
culmination of multiple ideas? Tell me where you are with that. It's, it's, it's a culmination.
00:41:36.580
So like, so when I, I mean, politics is one embassy in one category where you can, someone
00:41:42.200
can have influence about in service of where the country's going. Um, so when I say we're
00:41:49.040
in need of, of, of, of rehab, we've got to, we gotta, I think America can use, we can, as
00:41:55.740
Americans, we can use some more courage individually. I don't know what the policies are that make
00:42:01.580
a big collective change. I do believe that if each one of us, as we're talking here, go look
00:42:05.420
in the mirror and go, I'm calling you out and I'm talking to me in the mirror, it's on you. It's
00:42:12.260
on me. That, that's how you make a collective change. But we have to start, we have to believe
00:42:16.880
we got to flick our own switch. Meaning so many times we get our, our, our, the leader we want in
00:42:22.020
position, you know, and, and, and trying to get them in the position, they've, we're off, we're,
00:42:27.740
we're out of our chair. We're on the edge of the porch. We're rooting. We're, we're soldiering.
00:42:31.800
And as soon as they get in position of power, we go, oh, okay. Now I'm going to sit back down.
00:42:36.580
No, just the opposite. Now it's time to get off the porch. Now it's time to get after it. Now let's
00:42:42.240
go to work. We did, we, our, our, our knee jerk reaction is not to do that. Um, and it's going to
00:42:50.060
come, you know, if we keep it up, it'll come at our own, our own demise. Um, and I, I mean,
00:42:56.240
when I say rehab, I mean, I'm, uh, 19 to 21, those great civilized countries didn't get
00:43:04.240
taken over from without. Hmm. They imploded from within. And I fear, you know, the versions
00:43:11.780
of, of, of civil war. Um, I don't, I don't think our, our war, yeah, we got concerns about
00:43:17.760
China and we should be, and we got concerns about Iran and places like that, but we need
00:43:21.740
to really start looking right at our feet and see, do we really, you know, we talk about
00:43:26.460
land America, the land of opportunity and the land. Yes. But Hey, that's even lawn yacht
00:43:32.540
luxurious talk right now. I think what question we need to ask ourselves right now is, Hey,
00:43:37.060
do we really believe in that? And we really want to be a United States of America because
00:43:43.100
that's in question right now. And it's been exposed in this last year and a half. It's
00:43:50.200
always been there, but it's really been exposed in, into a greater scale in this last year
00:43:55.020
and a half where everything got politicized in some way or another. So much so that I'm
00:43:59.200
like, wait a minute, where'd the common sense go on? How did that become a partisan issue?
00:44:03.920
Let's just talk to common sense of the situation. We cannot, we're a country who can't decide
00:44:07.960
and agree on a fact. We don't know what's actual. We can't agree on what is, and then that
00:44:13.360
does start there. Um, you know, so we're, we're a little bit, uh, delusionary right now. And, uh,
00:44:20.860
we, uh, we, when we're on our own, each of us as individuals, we too often, me included,
00:44:27.360
bow down to that little whisper of our cowardice sides rather than stand up to the courage.
00:44:32.920
I agree. I definitely agree with that. How, how has your life changed, uh, since you announced
00:44:40.660
that you had political aspirations because I imagine before, you know, you had to deal with
00:44:46.140
critics and people tell you, you know, you're a bad actor. That was a bad role. That was a bad
00:44:49.800
movie, yada, yada, yada. This I think is going to be on an entirely different level. I could be wrong,
00:44:55.540
but I imagine from the outside looking in, that's what it's going to be.
00:44:58.700
Well, all I've done is said that I was considering given honor.
00:45:01.360
Right. Sure. Right. Um, which I have been and am, um, how's it changed? Um, different people,
00:45:10.660
reached out more people kind of for the first time. Got to get a security guard, man.
00:45:20.500
Hmm. Damn it. Strangers are showing up at the house in a fever pitch about this has got to
00:45:25.620
really. Yeah. For the first time. Yeah. That's interesting. I mean, before, you know,
00:45:33.000
you'd have a certain fan show late night kids, high schoolers on the weekend, get drunk. Let's go
00:45:37.920
swing by McConaughey's house. I have fun. You know what I mean? Yeah. But now people are coming
00:45:42.920
with a, with a, with an extreme agenda and going, you're, you've got to do that. This is the guy.
00:45:47.240
And so, or coming and going, you know, I, or coming and being mad. I can, you shouldn't have
00:45:54.920
said that. What do you, why'd you say that? I disagree about, you know, and I'm not in quote unquote
00:46:00.860
politics right now in my life. I'm telling what I'm speaking my own truth and saying, Hey, I'll deal
00:46:06.840
with the, deal with the consequences, but there's, there's more eyes on me and my family in different
00:46:12.520
ways. The eyes are more intense on me and my family in different ways than, than, than, than there were
00:46:17.980
before. Yeah. I imagine that's the case, but you know, that, that also is where that courage comes
00:46:23.620
into play, which you were just talking about earlier is, Hey, you see a problem, you step up and fix it.
00:46:28.180
And I think just based on the story that I read in your life, that's what your parents instilled
00:46:32.720
in you is, Hey, we're going to, we're going to deal with this head on. In fact, I love the story
00:46:37.080
and I'm not going to ruin the story. You guys go listen to the book or read it, but the story of
00:46:41.580
your, uh, initiation, I'll call it into manhood by your father, where you actually had to step up
00:46:47.580
and address and deal with an issue head on. And that's where you became, uh, I think I would say
00:46:52.400
an equal, is that what you would consider it? All of a sudden from that day forward,
00:46:58.180
let's go get a beer for the first time. He was still my dad, but now I was like, come on,
00:47:03.680
buddy, let's go get a beer, proverbial beer. Let's go hang out and have, and shoot the shit
00:47:07.940
as buddies for the first time. Instead of no, I'm your father. You're my son. I was in on the
00:47:13.600
stories for the first time. Now I was able to go with him and his friends and experience the stories
00:47:17.880
and be in on to telling of the stories the next day. Whereas before that time, I was always the one
00:47:23.100
who would hear the story about last night, the next day, instead of being there to witness it
00:47:28.320
and be a part of it. What's your take now that you're a father yourself, looking back into how
00:47:34.620
your father fathered you. And you, you said something interesting. You said, you know,
00:47:39.100
I'm your father versus I'm your, your peer or your friend. How do you describe the relationship
00:47:45.100
that you have with your kids? Cause I look at and think I'm never stepping off the, the, the mantle
00:47:51.220
of fatherhood to a lower tier of friend. And people get after me when I say that we can be
00:47:57.080
friendly, but I'm not my son or my daughter's friend. But what I heard you say in your story,
00:48:02.180
I was like, that kind of, that's an interesting perspective. And it made me reflect on that a
00:48:06.200
little bit, but it was a time. And as you know, you got four kids, minor 12, 11, and eight. I'm just
00:48:11.560
getting to that stage where up until now, it's been like, look, there's a one rule across the
00:48:15.720
board for all three of you kids, follow them. Everyone gets the same consequences for following
00:48:19.460
them, same consequences for not following them. Now they're, I'm seeing how they're different
00:48:25.120
individuals. They got different characteristics. I told me the other day, I will treat you all fairly,
00:48:30.180
but I'm not going to treat you all the same. I got a, I got a, I got an elder son who
00:48:35.420
is so damn responsible. I, he's self, he's, he self-motivates, self-regulates everything,
00:48:42.600
man. He's the one that I don't need to be getting on him. Like I get on my youngest son
00:48:47.800
for not doing something because my youngest son will look at the chore and go,
00:48:52.120
I'm not going to do it and see if I can do that. My eldest son never, if he messes up,
00:48:58.300
he didn't mean to. So he may need an arm around the shoulder going, Hey buddy, we forgot that one.
00:49:03.920
It's okay. Youngest one doesn't do the same thing. He's going to get a consequence because
00:49:08.380
I know he was intentional about it. He ain't time for me to be buddy with you, buddy. You're trying
00:49:12.500
to see what you can get away with and pull, pull off on pop and not, not play by the team rules of
00:49:16.580
the household. Different. You know what I mean? Daughter, different. Youngest son craves the
00:49:24.760
attention of, Hey, Hey, what are you doing? Daughter. If I raise my voice even to that level,
00:49:30.680
she's like, Oh, so Nick got to do it differently. You know what I mean? You find different ways to
00:49:35.320
customize when to be a buddy or when to actually have tried this recently when you give it, give
00:49:40.720
a discipline or trying to recourse, correct them, doing it with an arm around it. Not as your buddy,
00:49:47.920
but as your loving father, letting you know that this is, we tell them all the time, you know,
00:49:52.760
there are times where I'm, we're not going to like you and what you did,
00:49:55.320
but we're always going to love you. That's not a question, but too many of us, too many parents.
00:50:04.020
And I, for my money, that's their goal. I want to be best friends with my kids. And I think it's a
00:50:10.700
major disservice to the children. And it also can become a bit of a cop out because as you know,
00:50:20.240
saying no and following through on rules in the house and following through on, on no's is a hell
00:50:26.700
of a lot harder than saying yes. It's a hell of a lot harder, man. Uh, it's easy. And sometime,
00:50:33.920
you know, late at night, you're like, Oh, just let him do it. I'm so tired. Just let, man,
00:50:38.320
it's hard to sit there and go, okay, I got to go handle this right way as a father. Dang it.
00:50:43.420
Right. It's going to be a slippery slope. It's going to be harder. I mean,
00:50:46.300
I'm doing them a disservice if I let this slide, you know, I think that's a one, one trap. A lot
00:50:53.520
of parents fall into, and I've, I've fallen into that. I'm sure you have as well is, you know,
00:50:57.060
we say, Hey, I'm, I'm letting my children do that because you know, it's, it's good for them or it's
00:51:03.260
okay. It's not that big a deal. But I think really more often than not, we allow them to get away with
00:51:08.480
some of the stuff we'd otherwise correct because we're trying to preserve ourselves, not necessarily
00:51:14.560
trying to serve them. Yeah. And it's understandable. I mean, hell, I mean, if you, if you, if you a
00:51:23.380
hundred percent follow through on every single thing, every day, you look up and find yourself
00:51:28.020
saying hi to your wife for the first time at 10 PM each night. Sometimes you got to go, Hey, this is
00:51:34.800
my time. Y'all deal with it. All right. You know what I mean? I said, clean up. We'll see tomorrow if
00:51:39.660
it's cleaned up. You know what I mean? But I'm telling y'all, you know what to do. Good night.
00:51:44.380
You know, I'm going to have some time with my wife, my friend. Um, but it's, it's, it's, it's tough
00:51:51.640
duty, man. It's, it's, it's, it. And then to be, as I said, how are you consistent, but at the same
00:51:57.220
time, treat everyone fairly, but treat them the same because they have different personalities and
00:52:02.480
wants. It's a constant art, I believe. And then it's about to be a whole new art because mine are about
00:52:07.720
to being teenagers. And that's a whole nother thing with hormones and questions. And I'm finding
00:52:12.440
my son asking questions and going through things in his head at 12 that I was going through at 15.
00:52:17.520
And I'm like, damn. Yeah. 15. I didn't even consider that. So I've got to get on the fast
00:52:24.700
track as well of what my expectations are and actually get rid of some expectations about where
00:52:29.120
I was or even update how my parents raised me. You know, we got to, I think our parents want us to go,
00:52:36.920
I want you to be a better version. Right. Then I, then I, then, then, then I was. And
00:52:41.980
I think we want that. I want that for my kids. I want them to be a better version,
00:52:44.980
a more true version and even more customized version of what I'm showing them to be and what
00:52:50.940
life's about and what we expect from each other and what we expect from ourselves and how we respect
00:52:55.300
ourselves and respect each other. Um, yeah, it's a, uh, it's a constant update, but say a nose a hell
00:53:01.520
lot harder. It takes up a hell lot more time to follow through on the nose, man.
00:53:05.080
That's, that's true. And you have to follow through because if you don't, then you're just
00:53:08.700
lying. And that obviously isn't going to serve anybody.
00:53:11.920
And they don't want that. I think that, you know, I learned this with our foundation.
00:53:17.740
We have a Camilla and I have an afterschool foundation in title one schools. It's about
00:53:21.300
nutrition goals, physical fitness goals. And then I came up with the idea about, Hey,
00:53:24.680
they need to do community service. And I was like, Ooh, they ain't gonna like that.
00:53:29.420
We've been giving them a free place after school. They got exercise equipment. They said,
00:53:33.500
go. I was like, I'm going to do it anyway. A hundred percent of them loved it. We're 30
00:53:39.700
a.m. every weekend, a hundred percent capacity on the buses to make, make things for the troops
00:53:44.440
to send off. And I was asking, I was like, why is a hundred percent of you, what you, a
00:53:50.000
lot of them say their favorite thing about the whole program is the community service
00:53:52.640
because it gave them ownership. It didn't meant that the, that the curriculum was not a,
00:53:58.420
it wasn't a one-way ticket. It wasn't a free ticket. They wanted to be put to task. They
00:54:02.020
wanted to be given a responsibility to give them ownership and identity. And it was, it's their,
00:54:07.800
so a lot of them, it's their favorite thing about the whole curriculum, but it's the work they got to
00:54:11.440
do that. We're telling them, no, this ain't a freebie. You got to give back. If you want to stay in
00:54:16.260
the, if you want to roll with this crew and they love it. So they wanted, they didn't want to be
00:54:20.760
given everything. They wanted to be put to task and it gave them identity and gave them ownership
00:54:25.780
and they stood taller and they did something and they accomplished something. And it was an exchange.
00:54:31.740
And I think people, people want that. And especially children want that more than we like to give them
00:54:36.380
credit for. Yeah. I think they want meaning. I think they want to be treated like adults too,
00:54:40.980
whether they are or aren't. I think they want to be treated with some level of respect and giving
00:54:45.400
them responsibility and consequences is a level of, Hey, you want to be, you want to act like
00:54:51.240
adult? You want to be an adult? I'll, I'll play that game with you. Let's do that a little bit.
00:54:54.800
And they, they thrive on it. We had, you know, yeah, you do this when you, you and your wife are
00:54:59.660
having a conversation and your kids, you shop and maybe they're in the kitchen and you are on the
00:55:04.520
couch. They're like supersonic hearing, man. I don't know how they hear some of this stuff,
00:55:08.280
but when they come and bring it up of something they overheard, not that they were being secretive
00:55:16.580
about, but that you allowed them to overhear. And they don't understand that that's one conversation,
00:55:22.920
one piece of the whole context of a decision you got to make. And they get locked into, well,
00:55:27.360
here's my opinion. Here's why I agree with mama, but not you, dad, whatever that is. You got to go,
00:55:33.460
hang on a second. You got it. You, you got to understand that you weren't privy to a whole lot
00:55:38.580
of other conversations that me and mom have been having for months about this and are going to
00:55:41.540
continue about. So you don't have enough information buddy to come in and be judge and jury on this
00:55:46.760
situation. Now, if you can listen to a conversation and sit back and go, okay, that's a piece of the
00:55:52.260
puzzle, but I understand there's a lot more going on. Then it's okay for you to listen to us. But if
00:55:56.500
you're going to lock in and get literal on your decision, just based off of what you heard in one
00:56:01.020
conversation, then you're not old enough to sit around and mature enough to sit around and over
00:56:04.160
here and mom and dad talk. So figure it out, either, you know, leave, leave the room and let
00:56:09.420
us have a private conversation or come in and have a listen and don't go to judgment and try to sell
00:56:14.560
your side when you don't have all the information. That that's, you're talking about it in the context
00:56:19.960
of parents and their children. But I think we could talk to people about that on a social media,
00:56:24.620
you know, people would jump in and say, Oh, well, you said earlier, you said one thing and people go
00:56:29.200
off the rails. You're like, Whoa, Whoa, Whoa, Whoa, Whoa. What about the 47 other things I said on the
00:56:33.560
same subject that you conveniently forgot to bring up or mentioned that are counter to what I just said
00:56:39.600
in that little five word snippet you clipped out? Everyone's an editor. And, and, and we've got a
00:56:48.440
means of communicating now that is broken down into a Twitter world, which 40 words or less, whatever it
00:56:53.580
is. It's, it's, it's, so you got it. It's a headline. You look at, you know, everyone's looking
00:56:57.820
for that headline. That is not necessarily that, that causes you to go, Ooh, there's a car crash
00:57:04.020
here. Ooh, there's a disease here. Ooh, there's a problem here. Oh, there's a fire here. Why? Cause
00:57:10.600
you get more clicks. And if you get more clicks, you get more dough moolah. So that's the deal.
00:57:17.040
The truth, forget that. Oh, you know what I mean? I mean, look at, look at, look at our,
00:57:22.060
our, our, our media now. They, in my opinion, they have us, they have American belief. They
00:57:28.440
have Americans believing they have us believing we're actually more disconnected than I believe
00:57:33.900
we are. And I think we're all drinking the Kool-Aid. Why are we listening to them? Well,
00:57:38.000
because they're at, they're having these dramatic, you know, pep rallies on the tree, right and left.
00:57:46.640
It's sexy. It's sexy, but it's a car wreck. Hell, the health, you want to talk about how we're
00:57:51.220
alike and how we can get along. That's boring. Show me the car. Why do we rubberneck? Why do
00:57:55.860
you get on the one-on-one and LA going North and slow down to five miles an hour, only 10 minutes
00:58:01.400
later to find out it's because of a wreck of the sound on the southbound side, because we love to
00:58:06.120
have a look at the problem. Is there going to be a fireman? I'm going to see a dead body.
00:58:09.220
Ooh, no, dude, just keep driving. Stay in your lane to 65, bro. It's just, and everybody says that
00:58:15.680
all these people keep going and yet we look the same as everybody else. Guilty, you know, but to
00:58:21.480
name that, to name it and claim it that we do it. Yeah, I think we're getting, I think we're all
00:58:26.440
getting a little bit hoodwinked right now and we're drinking the proverbial Kool-Aid to, to think that
00:58:32.320
we're as divided actually as we are. I think, I think, I think that most of us have a common
00:58:39.900
denominator of values in the middle, no matter what church we go to or what political aisle we're
00:58:43.800
voting on, that we're just having the shade pulled over our eyes to see that. But I believe we're in
00:58:48.480
the majority. Yeah. Yeah, definitely agree. Well, look, I got a hard stop. That doesn't sell tickets
00:58:53.040
though. You know, the other, the other stuff sells tickets. That's right. Look, I know you've got a
00:58:58.000
hard stop here in the next several minutes. I want to be very respectful of that. I do want to ask one
00:59:01.640
thing that was, I was very intrigued with as I was listening to your book, you said, and you actually
00:59:06.080
said it when we started this conversation, that you felt like a man and more masculine than you ever
00:59:12.700
had when you had your first child. Can you talk to me about that? Yeah. So one thing I only ever
00:59:18.160
knew I wanted to be in life was a dad, but then I have a child. All of a sudden I realized I was
00:59:26.820
immortal. Oh my God, just did it. Passed on a lineage, bloodline. Oh, all of a sudden I was
00:59:36.760
not living for the present. I was living for the future. Um, all of a sudden mortal things that I
00:59:44.840
looked around at that maybe I was slightly intimidated by or didn't have the courage to
00:59:48.800
embrace. Even my career had been like number one on my goal. That's what I want. That's my number one
00:59:56.060
goal to get my identity from. Well, then I have a child. No career went to number two, at least kind
01:00:02.040
of down to number three. And because that gave me less fear about anything to do with my career,
01:00:07.860
I got better at my career because it went to the three hole instead of the one. I didn't lose any
01:00:13.760
respect for it. I just lost a certain reverence that had me maybe more impressed with it than I
01:00:20.600
was involved with it. Well, boy, you have a child. You see, I think a man's head, heart and loins and
01:00:26.600
spirit are more aligned at that point. And he's courageous to see clearly enough to go forward
01:00:31.820
for those reasons. Oh, now I'm immortal. Okay, well, let's get it on. Let's, let's, let's take
01:00:37.300
the real risk. And I got a hell of a lot more courageous, um, with myself, with others, with
01:00:43.280
chances I would take, because now I was a courier. And like I said, now I was a mortal, mortal. Every
01:00:48.320
parent becomes immortal when they have children. Um, and hopefully, you know, those are children may have
01:00:54.520
children and pass it on. And it's, I was like, there's the greatest light I can leave. There's
01:01:00.620
my legacy. That's the greatest legacy I can have is my firstborn son. And then it's turned to our
01:01:06.740
children. That's the greatest legacy we can leave. You want to know somebody, go meet their kids,
01:01:12.640
hang out with them. You know what I mean? After we're gone, they're the ones that are passing our
01:01:17.560
stories on. They're the ones that are emanations and extensions of us. That's as awesome of a thing
01:01:22.680
that I can think of. They're living emanations. They're not a, they're not a book. They're not
01:01:27.140
movie. They're not a piece of art. They're not a podcast. They're like a living emanation
01:01:31.260
extension of us. And how did we shepherd them? How's this great, awesome opportunity. We get to
01:01:36.520
shepherd who they become to head out into life on their own. That is just talk about a buzz. That
01:01:41.700
just gets me off. Oh, no doubt. That's powerful stuff, man. Well, look, I appreciate you. I'm,
01:01:47.360
I'm so glad that I wasn't so stubborn to, uh, completely, uh, write off your book. I'm so
01:01:54.040
glad that I listened to it, that I, that I got a copy that enough people said, no, no, no, no. You
01:01:57.920
got to read it. You got to listen to it. And, uh, honored to be able to have this conversation. You
01:02:02.600
shared a ton of valuable insight and, uh, I'm honored that you could, uh, join us. Thank you very much,
01:02:07.660
man. I appreciate it. I quite enjoyed it, man. I look forward to the next time, man. And, uh,
01:02:10.940
thanks brother. Let's run it back soon. Yes, sir. All right, man. All right, gentlemen,
01:02:17.700
there you go. My conversation with the one and only Matthew McConaughey. I really,
01:02:21.560
really enjoyed that conversation. I knew that I would based on his book and based on what I know,
01:02:26.380
know, or knew about him, but I'm telling you, it felt like, you know, two old buddies catching up and,
01:02:32.060
and, and picking up where they left off. And he's a very insightful, obviously got a lot of value to add,
01:02:38.540
uh, for the men who are listening. And if you haven't picked up a copy of green lights,
01:02:43.400
I would recommend that you do. Now I'll, I'll admit, I didn't read the book. I listened to it
01:02:47.760
and without reading it, I would say that probably listening to it is better. That's my own personal
01:02:55.360
preference. Cause the way that he narrates the book is incredible. He does a phenomenal job explaining
01:03:00.880
his life and his scenarios and stories that are funny and heart wrenching and everything else.
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And I, I think it'll give you some perspective into your life. So pick up a copy of green lights,
01:03:10.980
whether you want to read it or listen to it, uh, connect with us on the socials, Instagram,
01:03:15.260
Facebook, Twitter, let Matthew know that you heard it here on the podcast. That goes a long way.
01:03:19.840
Cause it lets our guests know that, uh, people are actually listening and that helps us secure
01:03:24.320
other great guests. So we can bring those men to you. Uh, let me know what you thought about the
01:03:28.620
show. As I started the conversation today, leave a rating review, share it, join the iron council.
01:03:35.040
These are all ways that you can support what we're doing here to reclaim and restore masculinity.
01:03:39.180
And I'm honored you're here. I'm honored that we're able to get men like Matthew and other
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incredible men on the podcast. And, uh, I just urge you to continue to step up in your families,
01:03:49.140
your businesses, your communities, doing what, you know, you need to be doing and what people
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need you to be doing. So let's keep fighting. Let's keep marching. Let's keep improving ourselves.
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This is what the world needs. And it's a men like us who are going to change the world.
01:04:04.020
One man, one family, one business, one community at a time. All right, guys, I look forward to
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being back tomorrow for our ask me anything and also for the Friday field notes. And then
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of course, uh, continued interviews and conversations with absolutely incredible men,
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but until then go out there, take action and become the man you are meant to be.
01:04:26.260
Thank you for listening to the order of man podcast. You're ready to take charge of your life
01:04:30.640
and be more of the man you were meant to be. We invite you to join the order at order of man.com.